1/4?
>in middle school
>pretty tight clique
>there were 6 of us, we kept to ourselves pretty much a circlejerk
>spent pretty much all our time together doing shitty middle-schooler things
>sitting at lunch
>big fat retard sits with us
>some call him Tim but that's a name that humans go by and he's a mongoloid
>absolute retard strength, taller than 6 feet, easily 300lbs, held back multiple years, almost impossible to understand, really shouldn't have been at a public school
>we were just going to ignore him
>there are 6 seats at the lunch table so the person whose seat he took (J) pulls up a chair from another table
>some rule-cuck teacher says you can't pull up chairs because it gets too loud
>all abandon retard to sit with J
>retards yelling because we left him
>teacher says we have to go back to our table and sit with retard and J has to sit somewhere else
>we all argued but teacher was firm, sent J to office
>J was pretty mad and holds a grudge
>J has a plan that he lets us on to the next weekend
>we're all friendly to the retard, he sits with us all the time
>we take turns having 2 of us sit together away from retard at an adjacent table and throw food at each other
>we all play with retard on xbox live now
>usually Halo 2
>eventually some friday we invite retard to go to someone's house and play vidya
>he gets picked up by his mom and we walk to kids house so it's cool
>go tell retards mom that we want him to come over
>she started sobbing because she was so happy that his son was being included
>apparently retard told her we were being nice to him
>she gives us money for pizza and shit
>we get pizza first time he hangs out with us, we're nice to him
>play vidya and whatever
>retards mom comes and picks him up after a couple ours and we still have most of the night
>next thursday we make preparations
>>684134875
no just killyourself fag
>>684134875
Continueeeeee
>>684134875
>friday tell retard that we want him to hang out again
>this time we're hanging out at the landfill which has some woods around it
>we're walking with him
>this time we're being more mean to him, mostly to dehumanize him for ourselves
>get to our pre-planned place a ways away from everything
>4 of us pick up sticks about wrist-thick, C has a baseball bat and J has a lead pipe
>we're loaded for bear
>we all start beating him
>once we start we know we know that we can't go back because this enraged retard could do damage
>at first he recoils in shock but he's surrounded
>everyone's blows start getting a lot harder until they're basically full-strength because he wasn't going down easy
>he was recoiling so no-one was really getting a clean shot at his head
>he goes from disbelief to enraged as he processes his betrayal
>lets out a retard roar like he's powering up
>everyone instinctively knows we need to redouble our efforts and are hitting him using the full-length of our weapons and strength
>retard makes his move, a lot quicker than I thought possible
>has one of the kids (S) with sticks by the wrist
>we were not anticipating casualties
>J has the lead pipe he was supposed to be the one that physically brought him down
>he motions me to back up a step as I'm directly behind retard now and we need to disengage him from our man
>J takes a one step swing and gives the retard a brutal strike in the back of his knees
>he buckles but still hangs on to S who's panicking
>C hits the retard pretty good with the bat in the back of the head
>retard is down
>S can disengage but the retard is still conscious
>now it's my turn
I came for the pictures but I stay for your story
Overwatch porn thread
Left or right? Pick one to fuck silly
>>684134360
Right. Definitely Right.
>>684134419
/thread
>>684134419
>>684134510
Still pick the same girl?
Right...
How do I steal money from my stepdad's wallet without getting caught? He leaves it beside the keys in the hallway, unguarded.
Also general thievery thread
>>684133233
Ask for it. Tell him why you want it. Realize how much of a disappointment you are to yourself and your loved ones. Report back to b. Good luck, anon.
>>684133233
blame it on a nigger
>>684133233
I have one easy step for you.
1. Don't do it, and get a job instead you fucking useless sack of shit.
>>684133982
>>684135355
you ruined /b/
this place was degenerate filled cesspool of deprived sick bastards...fuck you...fuck you
Gf broke up with me to be a lesbian
I'm the brink of suicide
Feels thread
>>684134951
Wow you got cucked for a grill? Yeah kill yourself
Damn, cockblocked by a pussy.
Rub one out OP, you'll feel better tomorrow.
>>684134951
I'M DUMPED SHE'S A LESBIAN, I FINALLY FOUND THE ONE. WE WERE GOOD AS MARRIED IN MY MIND, BUT MARRIED IN MY MIND'S NO GOOOOOOOOOOOOD. OOOOH
>>684134951
Ross Geller status
Little dick reporting in humiliate me /b/
>>684135074
No timestamp no humilliation
>>684135074
Is that errect?
>>684135074
Whoever owns that dick, my heart goes out to you, you poor poor guy..
>>684135074
Dude lose a shit ton of weight and you could add maybe two inches to that. Some girls don't mind a smaller dick. You know what they do mind?? Tits on a man.
The spic or the cracker?
http://poal.me/g0fnxc
>>684135698
The mexican. White girl looks too much like a slightly feminized richard dawkins, can't unsee it.
>>684135900
Agreed
>>684135698
Voted Selena
To fuck, or not to fuck?
>>684133972
She needs a shower, but very fuckable once cleaned up. Likely disease ridden though.
Boy o boy
sauce?
>>684134208
>Very Fuckable
>disease ridden
Good to know that doesn't disqualify her for ya.
webm thread
Green text stories.
These happened this week.
>Be me, this monday 8:25 AM
>French class
>Portuguese not french
>All of my french class-mates including myself suck derriere
>Teacher want's us to talk more fluently
>Makes us stand in a circle
>She goes in the middle
>"I will choose a random person to come here."
>It'sGonnaBeMe.exe
>"Anon!"
>FuckMyLife.gif
>Beta faggot so i go cuz i dont wanna get my grades to drop.
>MuchBetaSuchFag.jpg
>Tells me to raise my arms like im being pointed a gun, "spin like a beyblade" her words not mine, close my eyes, hold a fucking pen, fucking Hello Kitty pen.
>I ascend to the ultimate beta-fag i was intended to be
>"Now start talking bout urself, any random stuff, but make it in french."
>MFW i barely know how to pronounce baguette
>Obey her kinky sex fetish
>"Je suis portugais, je ais 17 ans, j'adore la musique, le ciné,etc..."
>Everyone laughs, including Miss Cunt
>Start laughing too
>Louder laugh, i look one of the guys is filming
>FML
>Next classes he shows the teachers, geography teacher almost chokes the bastard to see, history teacher who disses me constantly protected me.
>MFW im now known as MC Beyblade
Here's another one happened today (Friday, about 14:25 PM).
>Be sitting on a bench
>Waitin for bros
>Girl comes up to me, asks if she can take a sit next to me
>All benches are clear except for mine
>"Sure."
>Browsing /b/
>I start laughing a bit
>She leans to see my phone
>Its a religion hate meme or some shit about them saying the earth is only 6k years old how come scientists say dinosaurs fossils are like 71k or some shit like that idk
>She says and i shit you not
>"You are laughing at the ignorant scientists right? Because they have no right to be dismissing the whole scripture of the Bible."
>I stand in awe of the +9000 Level of autism in front of me
>I never seen or talk to someone that dumb
>I stand up, i look her dead in the eyes, tell her she smells funny, and make a fart noise with my mouth. Then i leave
Bumperino
Just know...even if this thread dies, you made me laugh. Especially cause I failed French in high school and it was the only class I failed.
>>684133292
Appreciate it m8
MC BEYBLADE
You have 5 seconds to explain to me why you are not serving this country.
>11bravo infantry grunter
I could eleminate all your with my tactical precision infantry expertise.
because people like you are in the Military.
>>684136309
Fat sack of shit, u been in what ...less than 6 months and you somehow made it thru osut. Idiots like you give the rest of us a bad name you fucking cunt. Enjoy failing weight and tape next time you do your apft. And 19d here you faggot. Fuck you
Because DD214. Also, fellow BangBang!
>pic unrelated
Are you upset that they're letting females into combat roles? No more brojobs and etherbunnies?
I want to tie my girlfriend up to a chair with a vibrator on her clit. The only problem is I know nothing about BDSM. I have some rope and want to practice. Does anybody have how to pictures or anything?
>>684133718
>>>/google/
>>684133718
/hc/ sometimes has "instructionals" threads
check the archive
>>684134232
>not wanting to chat with bros.
>not wanting to hear stories and experiences
Remind me again what year this is.
>>684134249
Will do, thanks!
>>684134464
>>>/d/bdsm
the year of harstem
Dubs decide my new dark souls name
>>684136679
doyouevenliftbra
>>684136679
Fuckleberry
>>684136778
Reroll
>>684136778
Let's try one more 'gain
Girl i found on pictureswap. She is a goddes. Anyone knows her / have moar ?
>>684133543
stop shilling faggot.
please MOAR
>>684133543
was that the only pic posted ?
>>684133543
this girl ?
If you were having a threesome, which two would you choose?
>>684134466
Bleh. White hat and blue top?
>>684134834
Another of 4
>>684134466
one on the left and cowgirl
not really a fair assessment bc sunglasses can hide an ugly face easily but left has the most banging body
So, tell me again why I should care so much about getting a wife or gf. Seems to me like a woman can't really do shit for a man.
Sex
>>684136089
Past a certain age it gives you a status boost, and giving her a nice good fucking can certainly boost your ego. But the downsides are real as hell i agree, especially if you wind up with a bitch.
>>684136252
Other than sex (which depreciates over time), what benefit does a man really get out of keeping a woman entertained/being in a relationship?
>>684136316
>if you wind up with a bitch.
This seems to be a growing trend among relationships.
>walk into GameStop
>see this
>wat do
Turn 360 degrees and RUN
>>684135082
"360", get it? Like Xbox 360 xD XD xd
>>684134974
Id give her a towel and feed her a sandwich before getting shot in the head by my secretly gay ex-marine neighbor while staring deeply into my family photo and reflecting on how I loved every stupid moment of my life
Need more info. What was I going to GameStop for in the first place? Is anyone with me?
Any Brits know this knobhead. Swear to god, he is the biggest meme known to grime. Every Year 10 will listen to him like their hard but they ain't. These niggers think Stormzy and Jme are the shit and totally blank real niggers like Skepta and Chip. JME IS A FUCKING DISGRACE TO GRIME. He raps in schools for kids. He is not rated, fam.
If you got this far, drink some tea because i'm british and stuff.....
SHUT UP.
>>684133011
you're just mad because you're just a backup dancer
>shut up
>>684133011
Devilman
>>684133621
AWWW HELL NAH NIGGA
I made a thread earlier about muh kitteh catching a mouse, but the mouse made a daring escape.
Well, my muh cat caught another one (or the same one)
What should I do to this fucker? He shall die. Shall he die for science? NASA mouse?
two mice in one day.... I'm really perplexed here
>>684134220
forget that. hang yourself on cam
this is the one that was caught this morning
the new one is in the same container
Give the mouse a forceful entry into your rectum.
Hey /b/.
I'm going to fap to a synchronized hentai with a friend over the internet to bond.
Do you recommend any hentai for such bonding?
