Waifu claiming thread. Previous:>>714645926 The rules
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Waifu claiming thread.
Previous:>>714645926
The rules are very simple:
>claim your 2D waifu
>post pics of your waifu
>insult other waifus
>keep ERP and RP to a minimum
>discuss stuff
>post fitting, not over-sexualised content
>most important: Have fun!
Sameji claim'd
>>714669253
Did he now? I haven't talked to him in 2 years.
How is he?
カラミチーマス
Claim
>>714669545
>>714668967
>>714669686
Stop posting it, Mai
You care too much
>>714669811
Once you pop you can't stop.
Nui is mine.
>there are people in this world who claim a cartoon character as their wife
So glad these threads are dying
Shiro claimed.
>>714669073
>>714669405
>amateur surgeon
That too is a great way to earn some cash. No tax, no liabilities and the kidney market is currently underserved.
>the brain part is debatable
Any other qualities?
>I hear I can become a wizard, I'm interested in knowing what my first spell will be
Wizardry is highly overrated, but there some some useful spells.
I for example can make the air smell and also disappoint my parents at the same time.
Claim
>>714669968
Parasite.
Satsuki best girl.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSAp991JIVs
One more for our brothers who fought beside us
One more and forward again
Once more, we'll fight and conquer
Until we'll meet again
@everyone your waifus suck and are lame
Claimed.
>>714670021
I should sell a kidney then, and take it out myself to save some funds
Not really any other qualities no. I can drink a bunch, if that counts
You can do both at once? I can only do one at a time :(
Be back later
>>714670685
Third time's the charge, isn't it, Foxworth?
>>714670809
>charge
Well I'M a retard.
>>714670325
Ha! Mako is da best!
>>714670685
>Claims every character from Nichijou except for Mai
Claim
>>714670698
>I should sell a kidney then, and take it out myself to save some funds
But if you take someone else, you can sell two kidneys and also replace the liver you ruined with all your drinking.
And no, this does not count as a useful skill. Sports maybe? Art? Passion?
>I can only do one at a time :(
Grand wizard here. I can also shoot small quantities of water from my mouth, and medium sized amounts from my dick. Basically like a waterbender, but better, because I can produce my own.
Can someone tell me why i remember the name yukinari?
>>714671486
No but that's a cute gif
You can't hide your past forever.
>>714671357 (You) (You)
Can we have more than one waifu and can we have anthropomorphic waifus and animal waifus?
>>714671929
>more than one waifu
Absolutely heretical
>anthropomorphic waifus / animal waifus
>>>/trash/
>>714671913 (Ro)(Ll)
Ahoy! Wie geht's denn so?
>>714671929
>more than one
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(That was autismo for no.)
>anthropomorphic/animal
Sure, if you actually hate yourself that much. But only if she got nice feet.
Best waifu
>>714672183
Immernoch alles beim alten.
Selbst große Fortschritte gemacht?
>roll
>>714672640
Das Nusscremeglasprojekt hat noch einige Probleme. Es trocknet zu schnell und läuft gelb an. Ich brauche wohl ein geeignetes Gefäß.
>roll
>>714672541
Yin is pretty cute
>>714672905
YUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>714673011
hot car girl (boy)
>>714673093
YUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>714672877
>Das Nusscremeglasprojekt
Klingt super
>Es trocknet zu schnell und läuft gelb an.
Vakuumpumpe? Sollte doch ne Reaktion mit Luft sein.
Auf jeden Fall viel Glück. War für Chara oder?
>roll
>>714673236
WUZ GUD MAH NIGGA!
shit tastes the thread
>>714673158
CAT FUCKkl
Weiss <3
my waifu
Claim
>>714673266
>Reaktion mit Luft
Ja, das wird es wohl sein, aber man braucht ja nicht zu übertreiben. Ein dichterer Verschluss wird es tun, aber ich bin mir nicht sicher welches Gefäß ich mir damit ruinieren soll. Das Schmalzfässle hat nur einen lose aufsitzenden Deckel.
Irgendwelche Ideen?
>Für Chara
Ja, ich wollte es urpsrünglich bis Weihnachten füllen, aber wenn ich neu anfange wird das schwierig. Vielleicht ein etwas größeres zu Ostern?
>>714673305
Pizza and Mirai Nikki m'boi
>>714673474
Ayy gud choice
>>714671357
Are you volunteering? I can probably remove a kidney or a liver without ruining it
I don't really have any useful skills. I can post in /waifu/ while I play games, does this count?
>basically like a water bender
Jesus christ, this made me laugh a bit too much
>>714673756
>Ein dichterer Verschluss
Du solltest eventuell mal recherchieren ob das ne Reaktion mit Sauerstoff ist. Wenn ja wirds ein luftdichter Behälter wohl tun.
>welches Gefäß ich mir damit ruinieren soll
Und was schreibst du rauf? Bzw. wie erklärst du jemandem was da denn drin ist?
Könntest so ein Marmeladenglas besorgen. Die sind zwar ein bisschen groß, haben aber normal diese Deckel auf Spannung und sollten gut abdichten.
>bis Weihnachten
gib dir Mühe!
>>714673987
>I don't really have any useful skills
>I can probably remove a kidney or a liver without ruining it
That does seem to be some serious skill.
>does this count?
Not at this shitpost level it doesn't!
>waterbending
I am currently upgrading my portfolio by adding additional orifices.
>>714674189
>Reaktion mit Sauerstoff
Ich glaube das Hauptproblem ist, dass es trocknet, aber das dürfte sich damit ja auch erledigen.
>Marmeladenglas
Hervorragender Gedanke! Leider esse ich keine Marmelade.
Ich hätte ein Nutellaglas hier. Das wäre von der Thematik sehr passend, aber durchaus ansspruchsvoll. Ich geh gleich mal in die Küche und schau was ich finde.
>gib dir Mühe
Ich fange lieber gleich an!
>>714674644
Wenn du sowas da hast: Knete.
Damit kannst du eigentlich alles abdichten.
>Nutellaglas
Könntest sowas denke ich auch mit gutem Klebeband abdichten. Das wär aber sehr aufwendig wenn du das echt mehrmals täglich befüllen sollst.
>>714671688
>is why i saved it
>>714675146
Gute Nachrichten! Ich habe ein mittelgroßes Konfitüreglas gefunden, das beim Öffnen ein deutliches 'Plop' vernehmen lässt, und ergo dicht sein sollte.
Das Glas hat so etwa 160ml, eine menschliche Ejakulation im Schnitt 2 bis 6 (sagt wikipedia). Wenn wir von 4 ausgehen also 40 Schüsse.
Heilig Abend ist in 15 Tagen, abzgl. Transportzeit sind das etwa 3 am Tag. Sollte möglich sein.
>>714676449
>Heilig Abend ist in 15 Tagen, abzgl. Transportzeit sind das etwa 3 am Tag. Sollte möglich sein.
Und darum gehst du studieren. Weil du ein kluger Junge bist.
>>714676431
Well you wouldn't have saved it if it was bad would you
>>714674644
You should try to spew water out of your ears, that's a truly skillful achievement
>>714676852
>Picture of my waifu
>bad
I do not understand
I saw a Weiss.
>>714676747
Gib mir grad mal 15 minuten.
>>714676944
Nah, that would look silly.
I'm currently trying to get the sweat pores in my armpits to work as a sprinkler.
>>714671486
This person?
>>714677192
I'm not sure that pores count as orifices though, somethign else probably. Though I will admit, seeing sprinkler armpits of water would be rather entertainiong
>>714677041
Neither do i
>>714677198
Omg its from fucking girls bravo...i watched that shit on deployment 3 years ago.
>be me
>22 year old virgin
>in my cold, dark basement
>feverishly stroking my 3 inch dick to some animated preteens
>waddle over to my race car bed and clean up my jizz with my buzz lightyear bedsheets
>plant a kiss on my body pillows face
>land my lips on a spot without my dried up Cum on it
>release a cascade of shit into my size 43 adult diaper
>plop my 300 pound ass back on the computer chair
>brush the roaches away from my mouse and keyboard
>more roaches have gathered on my monitor, feasting on the dried up soda on it from when I busted out laughing at someone on 4chan who said they don't like anime
>pucker my lips and blow wind that them to scare them away
>they scatter from the stench of my Mountain Dew and chicken tendie breath
Every single one of you tonight
>>714677565
>deployment
Mom deployed you upstairs to take a shower for the first time in months
>>714678394
I wish i had a waifu pillow but there aren't any for my waifu
>>714679342
Comission one from an artist and get it from website of choice that prints custom dakis.
>>714679296
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across theUSAand your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>714679687
Cringe
>>714676747
Wew, lad. Das ist ganz schön ambitioniert. Vom Zeitaufwand ganz zu schweigen.
Mit 14 hät ichs in einer Woche zum überlaufen gebracht, aber ich bin etwas außer Übung.
>>714677320
Once I mastered the sprinkler, I'll try to disperse it even more, so it will create a smoke screen from which I'll shoot my deadly dick stream.
I'll be the first to combine magical body enhancement with the ninja lifestyle.
>>714680350
You need to come up with a way to heat up the liquid you're shooting from your armpits to create a wall of steam. Boil your enemies alive while simultaneously creating a smoke screen
>>714680537
I can probably achieve that by getting really fat, closing all other pores and injecting rabies.
F E A R me! I will become the ultimate waifu!
Arisu Arisu
Ufufu Ufufu
I. love. you.
>>714679732
:ok_hand:
You really got me there buddy
Amazed there are no 2hu's yet
>>714680350
>aber ich bin etwas außer Übung.
Was hast du denn für eine Beschäftigung gefunden?
>>714681235
They're all circlejerking in the Discord. Except Chen.
>>714681328
Selbsthass. Das geht auch ohne körperliche Betätigung und weil Tränen von selber trocknen muss man hinterher nichts aufwischen.
>>714680923
How is that gun floating? Would have been better if it was on her back like the red scythe thing
sieg heil?
>>714681330
>muh buzzwords
>>714681976
I'm going to make a shrine dedicated to you, Arisu
>>714681869
>buzzwords
Cirno is active in discord. Flan is not. Dont know about Chen, probably asleep. Dont know about the others. Ran might show up in a bit.
Honest question: does anyone want some bad jokes? I've got a surplus
>>714682049
I would prefer not.
>How many of those have you entered Alice into
>>714681553
>Selbsthass.
Klingt super. Hast du vor das in nächster Zeit zu ändern? Oder erstmal die Feiertage vorbeiziehen lassen?
>>714680923
that poor af cut out job on...
at least get rid of the floating pieces of neptune face and hair
>>714682049
Hey Shiro, when you talk on here in German would you use simple past or imperfect past? I've seen both being used a little, is there a correct one?
>>714682158
I'm going to do it anyway.
>Every one that I've been to.
>>714682049
>>714682217
zoz
>>714682289
Does my opinion not matter
I need some advice.
So, I'm lonely. While I love my waifu very much, she just can't make me not lonely. I need to be in a relationship with another physical presence, not mental. But, I feel it's wrong to date someone, like it'd be cheating on my waifu.
What do?
And yes, I know, 3DPD whatever, but I don't really care about that.
>>714682182
Wenn ich das Glas voll kriege werde ich ihn durch Stolz ersetzen. Wenn nicht verdoppel ich die Dosis.
>>714682267
Nice linking job there.
Imperfekt is usually prettier, but that's mostly my personal preference. Wieso fragest du?
>>714682580
You telling me not to make a shrine of you is rejecting my love.
Don't reject my love, Arisu
>>714682594
i think you should talk to your waifu about that.
>>714682725
Mittlerweile was für Wihnachten und Neujahr geplant?
>>714682594
Just do it. Staying with 2D is unhealthy.
>>714682837
She doesn't respond when I do.
>>714681976
Arisu.
his beautiful angelic blonde hair
>>714683152
>how dare you claim him without the magic gif
>>714682889
Bleibt wahrscheinlich bei shitposten. Wie schaut's bei dir aus?
>>714682725
I didn't want to interrupt one of your conversations so I didn't connect to one of your posts.
I was tought that you would usually use imperfekt when you write and simple when you speak, but since this place is a weird combination of the two, I was curious on it.
Danke sehr.
Wie geht's?
I will devolve for now to stop this madness. My weeb glasses let's me see you. Just sayin'
tfw youll never be able to run your hand trough dios beautiful hair as he holds you and tells you he loves you
why live
>>714683298
Jubiläumsanime ist bei mir angesagt.
The horrible feeling when you have to pull the plug on Dio's life support in the hospital bed after some sick bastard sliced his face in half in hamon. This world is cruel, there is not god. Only Dio.
>>714683303
>I was tought
And I thought I was taught tought was taught, though.
Your teacher was wrong. There is no 'right' way to do it, but imperfekt is usually considered more sophisticated, and it is a tad more difficult to do, so a lot of lesser educated people will prefer simple present in everyday speech, but most will just mix them all up no matter what they do.
Kein Ding.
Ha jo, man lebt, ge? Selbst?
>>714683462
Mir scheint du hattest was in die Richtung erwähnt, aber wahrscheinlich irre ich mich.
Welcher war es?
>>714682751
I have neither accepted, nor rejected
>>714683058
Not you too
>
>>714683872
>Mir scheint du hattest was in die Richtung erwähnt, aber wahrscheinlich irre ich mich.
Spooky. Ich kann mich da nicht dran erinnern?
>Welcher war es?
OreImo
>>714684034
Oh Gott! Diesen Schrunz willst du dir antun?
Hehe~
>grown men identifying themselves as animated preteens
>>714684137
Die Reaktion kommt mir aber bekannt vor.
>>714684263
>Thinking that everyone here isn't underage
>>714684276
What anime?
>>714684003
So that means I can make the shrine
I'm going to cook up some nice beef
I know it's Arisu's favorite
>>714684393
No idea my dude
>>714684393
Boku no Pico
>>714684450
I prefer chicken
>>714684454
>>714684565
Very helpful, thanks
-_-
>>714684668
Chicken it is, then!
You should help me cook and clean.
Bring that cute little outfit of yours.
>
I'd do anything for Arisu
>>714684845
I don't own one. Alice does
>>714684301
Kein vernunftbegabter Mensch würde auf diesen Murks andern reagieren. Dat fucking Ende!
Alle Umbringen! 2 Bomben waren nicht genug!
>>714684003
Haven't seen Serial Experiments Lain then.
http://steamcommunity.com/groups/RobloxRights
Recruiting NOW!!!
>>714685025
I have not
A girl said I looked handsome today.
>>714682927
I assume you mean finding a 3D girl?
>>714685046
Joined
>>714685171
I love you dad.
>>714685130
Was it your mom or grandma?
>>714682927
Heresy!
>>714684951
That's okay.
I have one just for you
>>714685190
Ok?
What's up niggers?
>>714685198
No. It was a girl that's usually mean to me at school.
>>714683345
You can't have him, you harlot. He's mine!
>>714685388
My dick
>>714685388
Fucking nigger kike go kys yourself faget noone like u kys
>>714685277
Only mildly concerning
>>714685450
An old friend from high school called me yesterday and invited me into her room. After talking for a while I realized that her husband was no where to be seen. A quick question lead me to figure they were getting a divorce. After hanging out and talking for a few hours I left with my balls as blue as your waifu's hair. I'm gonna call her back Monday.
>>714685242
>meme
>>714685144
If it would make you happy, do it.
The horror of knowing that this thread is full with the disgusting stench of vaginal discharge and period blood...
...and finaly... The feeling of relief when Dio overflows this thread with his beautiful musky scent and gorgeous good looks..
Is this what happiness feels like..?
>>714685642
I've gotta go, Arisu
I'll be thinking about you as I drift off into a deep slumber.
Love you.
>>714685450
What is sarcasm?
>>714683872
Oh, you are right, I misspelled. Sorry.
I see. Ok, that answered my question.
>Ha jo, man lebt, ge? Selbst?
I-i-i don't understand, and translators aren't helping.
>>714685724
At this point I don't even know anymore.
>shiro
>>714685724
It probably would make me happy. But I don't want to cheat on my waifu. She's done so much for me.
>>714685752
Please, I'm sure you're just an anime-only-fag.
I've been with Lord Dio since day 1. Since 1987. I've been there since the day he was but a sperm in Araki's twisted, little mind.
>>714685866
Quit being a nerd -_-
>>714686105
I can't help it.
>>714686048
I made a deo fan art
>>714685992
Your waifu would want you to be happy.
>>714685980
Heresy itself is a meme.
>>714686182
Bless you, anon. You're a blessing upon this twisted and cruel world. You're welcome to Dio's Heaven.
DIO IS THAT YOU?
>>714686048
>>714685752
ARE EITHER OF YOU THE ORIGINAL DIO
>>714686048
ayyyyyyyy
How can you compete white boi!?
>>714686631
Not.
>>714686680
I know the filenames are wrong just let me have my hope please.
>>714686312
I guess you're right. Thanks for the advice Rory.
>>714686048
It appears we have both been touched by the grace of Dio. There is no need to argue, for before Dio we are the same. Insignificant before his glory..and beauty.... Now that we know true perfection in this universe, we will never be able to lead a normal life again. Watching these degenerate basement dwellers adore their soft, weak, underage girls makes my blood boil with disgust.
The lesser men don't even stand a chance against his thumb! Bow down, mortals, and accept your new god!
>>714686763
Didn't claim with 'Dio-sama...' either. Or post the gif.
>>714685926
Denksch als i wär jesesmäßig näbe de Kapp?
'man lebt' is a way of answering 'how are you'. Literal translation would be a bit tricky, but basically it means that we all are alive, because we are not yet dead. 'ge' was just me asking for your approval to this statement ('ain't that right?').
Bringen die euch nicht mal die rudimentärsten Grundlagen bei?
>>714686312
Heresy straying from god. Like sodomy, or claiming two different waifus.
>>714682103
I am intrigued, tell me of your excess of bad jokes so I may pass them on to my children and my children's children and their children forever true.
>>714687020
It's all wrong...
I have a weird belief that you guys don't believe me about >>714685693
>>714685513
Pics?
>>714686182
Eggs Dee
>>714684301
>>714684999
Auch wenn du flüchtest, die trips zählen!
>>714687152
I don't have a camera or i would
>>714687212
Dio sneers at your made-up heretic language!
>>714682101
I'm not sleeping.
‘In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony anime girl. But because, I am enlightened by my Lord, Dio-sama.
>>714687317
Huaschdeguetzili!
>>714684999
>Kein vernunftbegabter Mensch würde auf diesen Murks andern reagieren.
LN ist besser.
>>714687212
Naja, wir haben eigentlich gesagt, dass nur zählt wenn man aktiv rollen tut.
>roll
>>714687444
Baden isn't even a real place.
>>714682101
What is this Discord? I am intrigued
>>714687444
FUCK THE CALIFORNIA DMV. FUCK THEN ALL TO DEATH.
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>714687647
Nice to see you.
>>714687641
Newfag
Aye
>>714687677
Fucking to death wouldn't be a bad way to go
>>714687730
Likewise my good lad
>>714687647
hallo trips guy
>>714687677
yo tali, how it goes?
>>714687641
stay away for your own sake, thread is nicer.
>>714687706
Not best blonde, tbh
>>714687872
don't be rude
>>714687800
Oh boy do I agree. being filled up by Dio's vampiric sperm would be quite a way to go.
>>714687872
>kumin folder
>>714687772
You're not wrong
>>714687800
Anally with a sand paper condom?
>>714687872
See previous post
>>714687512
>LN
Wenn die das gleiche Ende hat ist sie scheiße.
>rollen
Ach, ich dachte es zählt alles, was sich auf den anderen bezieht, also keine sorge, 444 wird sowieso nicht gewertet.
Das schöne am nicht explizit rollen ist, dass man weniger Schreibaufwand hat, der Vorteil der Alternative hingegen, dass man besser aufpassen muss.
Mir gleich, sag du an. Ich führe in jedem Fall.
>>714687638
Labbeduddl!
>>714687647
Second one this thread... I just keep getting them.
>>714687688
The last one was even something Hitler would have said.
Man, it would've been so nice if newfags from /waifu/ wouldn't go and polute others communities like animus with their all serious attitude.
Like, whatever dude, I know you care about your reputation online, but take a break.
Go and organise your folder of other girls by name or something like an autist you are.
>>714687444
SUPERIOR GERMAN TRIPSSSSSSSSSSS
http://static.zerochan.net/Kirijou.Mitsuru.full.1824049.jpg
hell yea
aw
>>714688069
If you were having sex with a girl and the sandpaper wasn't rubbing against the penis then yes
>>714687024
But Ive done the claiming one. No one noticed. No one cared. It was obviously me too.
>>714688261
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>714688214
No, im fucking them all to death. I live. They die. I get the smoothe side they get sandpaper
>>714687872
Akbar
>>714687990
not even heresy meme, I liked the other one better tbh
>>714688037
nani sore my nigga
>>714688069
wut
>>714687146
People don't care about real life stuff in here.
Only how they are seen by others on the thread.
I tought you learned that already, you fucking nerd.
>>714687872
Season's Greetings good sir
>>714688154
A man of fine talent then you are
Use your skills wisely
hey anon did u mean dis,
>>714688420
I'm using it to save my waifu from getting hotglued. That does seem wise to me.
>>714687274
Fuck, OK then. No phone?
>>714687677
That's a p nice pic
>>714688069
Nice pic as well
>Galil
>>714688354
I was meaning you have sex so much you both die
>>714688373
what does nani sore mean
fucking weeb
>>714688645
No. I don't need one since i have no friends
>>714688613
Couldn't have chosen a better use of that power meself, if I had a waifu of my own.
