Asking /b for advice. Me and GF have been in LDR for almost three years and it's soon at a point where we are able to build a life together since I'll be done studying. A few months ago she said she'd move to my country, but last weekend she broke my heart by telling me she couldn't. She wants me to move to her country, otherwise it's probably going to be a breakup. What do, /b?
Pic unrelated
I'm serious about this so I hope people respond
>>769221381
Break up.
Honestly, you dragged a ldr for 3 years?
Break up and make a real relationship. This will never work out. People made this shit work in times of war when troops were out getting killed, but that's a different kind of emotionally charged situation than just divided by studies.
Find someone new. It will suck for a while, but you are keeping a door closed with this ldr that is going to unlock a lot of issues once it's opened.
>>769221636
Yeah we were in a situation, or more like I was, where I was able to visit every 2 or 3 weeks for a weekend. We're really emotionally invested in each other though, and in each other's families. Should I really break up?
>>769221636
I;ve also spent two summers at her place, but I don't really see myself spending my entire life there
>>769221776
A relationship is about blending lives. What you have with a ldr is a very weak level association that has your own mind filling in the gaps of life you can't be there to share.
I've tried myself, the harsh reality that your relationship is based primarily on assumptions will hit you someday and it sounds like she wants that liability to be yours rather than hers.
Cut it off and move on. Don't let her wreck her life running to you either. You're both best to find your own lives now.
>>769221381
What kind of distance are we talking, like 50mi or 4000mi?
>>769222109
We're talking 1 hour flights. Usually below 100 euros.
>>769222166
That’s gotta be like 300 miles lol
>>769222068
But what if I can't do that? The thought of it makes me want to cry and I;ve done my fair share of that the past weekend together with her. We've already talked marriage and kids
>>769222212
900km.
>>769222166
Ok, you really should save yourselves the trouble.
Only if you are literally never going to be able to find anyone else in the next 5 years, you're only going to develop issues clinging to an already divided life.
If you want to prove me wrong, go ahead. Fight for it, but hope she has as much fight to overcome how separate lives change people.
Be prepared to meet her new guy friend.
>>769222230
Tears don't make good decisions.
>>769222285
I appreciate your advice. Of course, right now, it feels like ill never find someone else like her. Ive been happiest with her than with any other girl so far, and so has she with me. It feels like giving up her, but also her culture. Would a dual solution work? after working a bit home, move to her country for a while, then move with her to my country, etc?
>>769222332
That's true, but what does?
>>769222250
which countries? are you me?
>>769222429
What do you mean? It's in europe
>>769222166
What countries are we talking about?
US/Canada is different then US/Mexico ipo.
>>769222445
We're talking northern Europe. Belgium/Denmark
>>769222442
where do you live and where does she live?
I'm in the same situation, I'm french and gf is german
>>769222486
Then whats the problem. Some parts of Belgium are decent and Denmark is also not to bad.
>>769222486
any way to find a compromise? like netherlands?
>>769222498
Belgian/Dutch border and Denmark.
>>769222531
She wants future kids to have a close connection with her parents, but I obviously want the same, plus I love my country a lot
>>769222532
This. Netherlands is Top-Tier
>>769222417
Logic
>>769222532
That feels like both of us woulf be miserable. She also dislikes the idea of that country since it's closer to my parents than to hers and she thinks its unfair
>>769222580
I know, would love to move there
yea, get her to move as well as yourself, otherwise she's going to fuck you over for her own benefit
>>769222601
look at how well connected the cities are, maybe it's not that bad
or consider north/west germany?
>>769221381
this is def a hard one. ive been in a ldr with my gf for about 5 years. but you situarion is way different than mine. my gf lived in a rather large city 6 hours away. and we are both college students. i cant compare to someone living in a different country. my thoughts would be try and compromise. find a place you can either both go to. and while i agree that a ldr is about assumptions of how you will live. there are also compromises. she shouldnt make you go to her if you arent willing. its supposed to be a willing choice by both people. i would say talk to her tell her how you feel, and what you want to do. if she loves you asmuch as you love her, she will be willing to find a situation you can both be happy with. if not, im sorry but i dont think you should be together.
>>769222713
I'll give it thought, but when these sorts of solutions came up, she more and more says she wants to live in the city she lives now (which is the capital). She at this point wouldnt even want to move away from that city in her own country. She thought about it for months, hating me somehow, which was bad for our relationship as well. It feels unfair on my end now
>>769222713
Lower Saxony would be in the middle i guess. Is there any logic for one or the other moving? Who has the best career perspective and so on.
>>769221381
That is a beautiful fucking cunt.
>>769222729
Thanks for your thoughts. We talked about how it would work if I decided that I am unwilling to move country. She said that right now, she'd probably have to break up... The thought of it kills me. I even let her have free choice for any city in my country and whatever apartment she wanted. It seems so easy for her, but that's probably because she thought about it for months. Parents also freaked out completely
>>769222808
you gotta sit together and find a compromise. Like living in her city for a couple years and then move somewhere closer to your country if that's what you want.
If she's not willing to compromise at all, that seems toxic, there's no reason you should make all the efforts
Just move to her because you know you will anyway. Truthfully, neither country is all that great besides your own attachment to it. Like you said, it's 100 euros to fly back and forth so everyone can still be close to grandkids and shit. Either that or she's fucking someone else and wants you to break up with her so she'll feel guilt free.
Where in Denmark does she live? Move to northern Germany or some shit to be in the middle.
>>769222929
look good into your options for work and living space in her city. and have her do the same in your or where you wanna move to instead. try and see if you can both figure out what you can do. if she really isnt as willing as you said and nothing can be considered. then yeah i just cant see it working out. ldr is about that long haul and finally when it all aligns you both make that decision together. she doesnt seem to want that at all.
>>769222842
I'll earn a higher wage in my own country. I have zero experience so if i had to start in another country without any experience and a foreign degree I think i'd get screwed. Her job in healthcare is also way more universal than mine, and my country is cheaper and better connected to the rest of the world.
>>769222970
That's what I've suggested now. She needs time to think about it, and told me shes not sure if shes ever willing to move.
>>769223005
I'm not sure if I will. My mind also drifts towards how it would be single (makes me sad ofc)
>>769223005
She lives int he capital, and i dont really think shes fucking someone else tbh
>>769223016
Living in her country would be easy, she has an apartment. Work I think would be super difficult. I have yet to speak the language, have a foreign degree and have zero working experience. Chances theyll pick me are slim I think. As for the other thing. She was planning to move with me first. She looked at it a bit in terms of job, but shes convinced she wants to be a type of health care professional thats only doable in denmark for some reason (it isnt), and now she's past all that, says she made up her definite mind and is not changing her decision, at least now. It hit me like a brick
>>769223076
what about spending holidays in your country, etc
would that work?
I mean, either you find a compromise you're both happy about, or chances are it will become unhealthy and you won't be happy
anyway, gotta go now, best of luck to you!
>>769223255
Thanks man! The problem with me is that I don't want to give up on my family either, but moreso because I feel connected to my country. I want to be active in it, feel a part of it. I think I'll lose that if I move. She has no real connection and no social life, other than parents.
>>769221381
breakup
I did the same. I would not believe the others. I wish I did now
>>769223120
Bro, you we're probably her side dick. She probably has a guy in Copenhagen busting a fat nut all over her antidepressed wind energy in the North Sea for the whole country pasty white tits.
I'm telling you though, if you don't at least try and fail you'll be sitting in Belgium eating a waffle one day and realize that you fucked up. If you at least give it your all and it falls apart then you know you did your best. Feel me?
>>769223253
yeah. that sounds hard. and if you love her i can imagine how heart broken you must feel. just keep talking to her. hell maybe look into it for her, and show her the options she could take. does she speak your native language?
>>769223356
What do you mean? You actually did move?
>>769221381
a LDR isn't a relationship. She's fucking other guys.
>>769223379
if that doesnt work. i agree with the people that say to break up. its not going to be easy. but in the long run you will probably feel better.
>>769223317
I understand... At least it's shengen, you can move freely and chances are you'll find expat groups in any big city. Better than nothing
>>769223373
I feel you. Thing is, if I go and it fails, I'd be there, miserable, locked in a job and maybe even with kids, and of course theres the doubt that the less bright sides of her will take a toll as well, like my higher libido
>>769223490
Whatever, you're a pussy. Quit being a baby and make a fucking decision and live with it.
>>769223379
it's the absolute worst indeed. I've already looked into options during the past months because she initially agreed to moving. She knows the options, and right now she says its all a no. She can;t do it, not even like a year as a try out or anything. She wants to put her own happiness first (which is obivously understandable) and thinks she'll be miserable and foreign in my country. She's completely blocked the idea. Yes she speaks my language, quite alright, shes been taking lessons.
>>769223423
I don't think she is. She's been taking language lessons for me (expensive)
>>769223435
Yeah thats true ofcourse. But why cant that go the same way for her?
I want her, but I also want my country...
bump for more insights?
>>769224511
please?
you have to decide how much you love her, man. would you give up anything to be with her? cause if so, its a no brainer
but you already know she wont do the same for you, so you have to consider that too. imo you need to go see her in person to have the discussion. say it in explicit terms "if we cant make this work we're not going to be together" and see what her reaction is. if it doesnt give her at least some anguish then theres no point, she doesnt love you back
Be a real man and dump her
Women follow men where they live not the opposite
>>769225279
But this is exactly what she has told me. And I was in anguish. But it all seems so clear to her because shes had months to think it all over.
>>769225601
But what if I regret the choice a fuck ton?
>>769226533
>>769225279
I seriously dont know what to do. I really just want her here.
>>769226547
Do not isolate yourself moving to a foreign country to follow a girl. Build a life for yourself, and attract women to follow you, do not follow women, you'll end up at rock bottom starting over again in your home country most likely.
>>769222285
>>769222068
>>769221636
All this shit, self loathing advice. Dude I was in a LDR from across an ocean for 3 weeks, she flew over here, we got married and we've never once had a major fight or issue with infidelity.
Fuck yourself for bringing others down where you failed.
>>769221381
Move to her but make sure you have the money to go back and keep some connections back home. Livinf somewhere new is usually fun and you can always move somewhere else later.
>>769226856
>>769226856
I guess you're right. its all still very fresh though. Seeing her tear up when i asked her what she thought would happen now broke my heart as well. The plan definitely is spending two years here in any case, building up my own life and job experience. Then MAYBE I might move, but that's what we have to discuss. I don't think I can. Furthermore, she would move end of this year if she didn't change her mind now, so why wouldn't she want to be with me?
>>769223423
Not op, but how far is a ldr? My girl is moving this summer an hour and a half drive away. Am I fucked?
>>769227040
I'm happy for you, but 3 weeks? but let me sketch the situation a bit. she visits me once every two months due to her job (she doesnt want to come over in a weekend, only if she has at least 3 or 4 days off. I visit every 2/3 weeks and always go out of my way to visit her, even when the timing sucks. And now she doesn't want to move for me. it hits hard
>>769227120
Do you have a car? then no, otherwise if its like 3 hours public transport id say yes. especially if its expemsive
>>769227042
Bro, you have oneitis, there are loads of hot, nice intelligent local girls out there. If she isn't willing to move to you, how strong is your relationship really? Why not look for local girls? Why have 2 years of long distance than just build fresh from now.
You'll be OK mate, and being strong - standing your ground, might make her come to you after all. My girlfriend is foreign, we've lived together 8 years, if she preferred being home to being with me it wouldn't work, right?
>>769227367
That;s true, but she'd use the exact same argument against me when i use it against her. Shes not the type to change her mind quickly, and I think she'll actually break it off if I tell her I cant move.
>>769227367
Did your gf just move out of her self? no convincing needed or w/e?
>>769227367
Why i;d have 2 years of long distance is because i love hr ofcourse
>>769221381
8/10
>>769227720
My gf visited during ERASMUS (how we met), she finished her studies and applied to jobs in my country so she could be with me. I didn't have to convince her, she wanted to be with me, she was excited. And she loves her home, her family and her friends there - I was more important - that's love.
>>769228426
Man, if you put it like that, that's how it should be indeed. But the same goes for me the other way around i guess? Am I the bad guy?
bump
>>769228630
I know many couples who were multi-national, and only us and one other survived. The difference was the willingness to compromise for each other.
The key with deciding where to live is the future prospects, who's got the better job/earning potential?
The reason you're not the bad guy is that you want it to work, you're willing to compromise, she isn't - it's either you come or else - she has the power, that's a bad sign. I think mature lasting relationships rely on the females strongly admiring the guy, wanting him to lead her, trusting him.
You need to try take more control, have a plan and something to offer - give her a reason and stand up for yourself - show her your value and show that you can easily attract a girl at home and that it's not insecurity driving you to want to make it work, but that you thought you had something special.
>>769221381
huh? what to do?
get her ass back in line;
she's testing you --
if you give in, she'l secretly despise you as WEAK !
-------
Source(s):
they call me c-man fora reason
---------
>>769221381
PS: dynamite shot
>>769228630
Quit with your hemming and hawing and just do it. You really don't have anything to lose besides the relationship you'll lose if you don't move. God damn it, you fucking Belgians are the worst.
>>769229170
Thing is, she's a very independent girl. Doesn;t want to be led, wants to be her own self. Ill reply to all the points. hopefully you can respond to it again.
First of all, I have the better job potential. Finishing a master university degree with a great salary perspective. In her country wages are higher, but so are taxes, like very high.
As said, she's very independent. hates the idea of being led, being the submissive one in the relationship.
How would I do that? the main reason she doesnt want to move is parents. How can I offer her things like that? Showing her I can easily get someone else literally amkes her say: then do that. She thinks I can do better and stuff.
>>769228630
if your not willing to make the sacrifice in the first place you dont care enough for her
dont make a dumb choice and throw your future away by commiting to something half ass, before you know it the blame game comes out if either of you make a move you didnt want
and if you do pull the plug FOR FUCKS SAKE date someone near you, ive only seen a very small amount of long distance relationships do anything but cause grief and financial loss
>>769229466
Dude, if she's telling you to find someone else it's probably her way of guilt free getting out of the relationship. The timing is there because it was fun but now it's getting serious real fast. Bad signs bro, bad signs.
>>769229711
SHe's been saying it for months, maybe a year or mroe even, yet shes still with me? maybe its insecurity?
>>769229466
Relationships don't always work. Yours has limited foundations (long distance) and now, limited compromise. Relationships aren't easy, even when you live close by. Adding in that she is independent only makes it less desirable for you, in my experience submissive girls are always better partners (cook, clean, loving attention)
You are afraid to let go of her, because you don't like the uncertainty, but if you get yourself together, focus on yourself, build yourself up you can find another great girl with whom you can actually have a successful relationship.
This girl could potentially be a huge time and energy sink, slowing your career and happiness. In 4 years you might be isolated in another country after she dumps you (how do you even know it will work toghether?) --> this would be very depressing, is it really worth the risk for somebody who isn't willing to take that risk for you (prisoner's dilemma/game theory says dump her)
If she is so independent, what would you be moving there for, does she want kids, does she want to get a place together, what is it she has planned for you? Why are you always travelling to her, is she even that into you, does she REALLY even want this?
>>769221381
>Reply
i need sauce
>>769221381
I was in a LDR relationship for 5 years and we made it work, don't listen to people saying it won't work out. Put the time and effort in and you'll get through it...
I was the one to drop everything for my now wife and we're still happy. Do what you think is best for your relationship.
>>769229674
Thing is, ive always said im very reluctant to move, always, and shes said yes, only to change her mind now. She knew what I could offer.
>>769229868
It sounds low effort to be with you.. You come visit her, she doesn't have to do anything, when it comes to committing - no thanks.
Imagine a chick willing to come visit you, you'd say yes, why not - but do you really want to be with her when you're not even bothered about seeing her, when you're ok with breaking up?
She is going along with it mate because it's comfortable.
>>769229868
Because she doesn't want the guilt of ending the relationship. I'm still guessing she's seeing someone else in Denmark. Which is why you should move there but save enough to come back home. Panic her by getting close to exposing her for being manipulative.
>>769229896
I am indeed afraid to let go of her. I've been with her so long, I love parts of hr culture, I'll miss her city ofcourse, since im there so much as well. And I love her as well.
She already is a sink like that tbh. Not that interested deeply in what I do, always superifcial, btu doesnt mind me rattling about my studies etc. She doesn't really take worries away, is very practical and quite realist on the pessimist side of things. I have spent two summers with her in her apartment for a few months at a time, the first time that didnt go too well, but the second time was quite awesome.
She wants kids, soon, thatls the problem here as well. She doesnt want to give me time to build up my own or to think about it for too long. She wants to live together, wake up to me every day and such. I think shes into me ofcourse, but shes quite peculiar in the way she acts and is. She puts herself first, for example doesnt want to travel to me if she has 2 days off (weekend) becasue its too stressful for her.
>>769229954
look mate
you made a post asking complete strangers to fix your relationship problems
you already want to end it and are basically looking for someone to say "yes, do it", but at the same time try to pretend like you care too much and say thats not what you wanted
you know what you want
grow some balls and do it
being a man isnt free, you need to pay the price
>>769229946
how much effort did it all take?
>>769229998
It IS indeed low effort to be with me. I do everything for most people, always go out of my way for people, even more so for my gf. Lately I always have to take initiative in booking flight tickets as well.
I get your point.
>>769230216
Should I quit jobs etc just to prove a point? I wouldn;t want to spend money on that (moving there is about 3000-5000USD, one way)-
If you are in a relationship where you both won't compromise for each other to the same level, you probably won't last very long. Just end it if it doesn't work out positively soon. <3
>>769230236
I dont completely know what I want. Well, what I WANT is her here with me. I love my country and how it all works, but i love her too. Im afraid breaking up will be the wrong decision
>>769230219
I feel for you mate, it's a big decision. Try to meditate and get a clear head, then listen to your gut. Is moving there the right thing for you? Is she being fair to you now and throughout the relationship? Is your decision based on fear or confidence?
Be confident, relax and make a decision. Then execute and whatever happens you can come out with your head held high.
>>769230428
Thanks for the support man. It feels like I'm throwing away so much
>>769230495
3 years is fuck all
youve got plenty of time
>>769230448
I'll try to do that, but i have no clue how to clear my head and such. Im really busy with my thesis right now and an exam coming up. It's hard to take a moment off, and I wont see her till july because im busy. What if I decide wrong and she actually was the right one for me?
>>769230390
Fuck yeah you should. You created this thread 3 hours ago and have more than enough information to make you decision so nut the fuck up and move or end it.
If it works out, great. If it doesn't then at least you know it wasn't you.
I'm telling you though, she's not in this relationship for the long haul.
Post her pic while we're at it. Everyone deserves a little something for their efforts helping you work through this.
>>769230537
I meant more like what I have with her. OUr parents met each other, I met hr family and she met mine, I won';t get it back if i throw it away
>>769221381
>LDR for almost three years
>She wants me to move to her country, otherwise it's probably going to be a breakup.
She doesn't want to leave her new boyfriend(s) for you.
If she's in America, she's getting railed out by black guys...
>>769230609
Why would she tell me to move if she didn';t want anything long term though? Why not discourage me? She did say I had to promise her to get the best job I can get and such. Do everythng my way.
Also, I need to go to the country at least one more time to deregister if that is my decision because I registered because it made things easier...
>>769230748
i don't think shes banging others. She has a low sex drive, can barely handle me.
>>769230640
doesnt matter, move on
stop being a child
>>769230849
You don't believe in "the one' then?
>>769230585
No such thing mate,
There is many many nice girls out there. Yes it's nice to have a solid relationship, but there is many suitable girls for you man, she might be special but there's lots of lovely girls.
Being a man means making decisions and living with the consequences,
>>769230818
This alone is bad news dude.
>>769230881
ive seen countless mates come time after time saying how theyve "found the one" and "its not like the other time" "but its different this time" "just wait and see"
theres no such thing as the one
all you get are two people who get off better than usual who slightly change themselves for each other
we arent lego blocks that fit perfectly, just two bits of clay moulding to fill the others gaps
>>769230771
Because she doesn't think you'll do it. Which is why you have to do it. She'll either panic and freak and everything will fall apart or she'll realize that this relationship is in for the long haul and it'll be good. Money ain't shit. Fly to her the next chance you get and tell her you decided to move to her because you want to be with her, her reaction will tell you everything you need to know. If she keeps trying to talk you out of it after that confront her on it, call out her bullshit and then break up with her for trying to manipulate you. Fly back home and find a newer, younger, hotter, less selfish girl.
EZ PZ.
Seriously though, at this point I'm invested and want to know what she looks like.
>>769230953
I guess you're right. She took me with all my flaws where nobody else did though. Doesnt mind im fat, doesnt mind all kinds of things like my extreme sex drive and whatever. And obviously other things she dislikes, but she still took me, you know?
Why is that bad news?
>>769231048
Thats true.
>>769231109
But what if shes just weird and she actually wants to do it? ANd shell be super happy, and ill have cut myself in my fingers because now i comitted to moving while i dont want to? Then I have to be the dick again and tell her no? It'd be so much drama?
I cant share, its risky and I respect her :p
update: she does see us together if we can get through this huge moving problem she says.
>>769231259
I'm not telling you to bluff. I'm telling you to move. I hope it works out, but where it stands now your relationship is going to end if you don't move. If you don't want that then you have to move. These are the facts in this case. Move or stay. Grow or stagnate. Live or die.
Also, you say you love your country but I say fuck nationalism.
>>769231452
But I do want my relationship to succeed, but what if cant stand behind the moving decision. Breaking up due to logistical reasons would fucking suck
dont listen to >>769231452
break up
find a girl who wont make you give up everything you love
easy fucking done
>>769231583
cunt
get the fuck off 4chan, call your girlfriend and work it out
one phone call, not we'll talk later
grow a pair and make a decision
>>769231599
Mother fucker I've been working on this for 3 fucking hours. Let the potential for love win you piece of shit.
>>769231599
Yeah i get you, but is it fair of me to ask HER to give up everything she loves?
>>769231785
we talked in person all weekend bro. She told me to think about it for a few weeks
>>769231583
It would suck but like I said, right now you have two options. 1. Break up. 2. Move to Denmark. Neither is written completely in stone but resolve yourself to those two options because that's where your relationship is going. You said you had until July to decide? That's 6 weeks to get your sack out and flap it in the breeze.
>>769232008
I do have till then. I dont have to have a decision ready but a general direction. WHat does sack out and flap in the breeze mean? :P
>>769232150
To make a decision and stick with it for the whole world to see. Full fledged and real American expression, everyone here says it.
>>769231797
love doesnt always win
sometimes its better to pull the plug before , oh i dont know, you have a kid and get pulled away from your child who you can no longer visit being a male from another country
i have a mate who hasnt seen his only daughter for 6 years and is too crippled with child support to raise a case against it
men are treated like shit when it comes to parental rights
>>769232407
Aah alright. Learnt another thing.
>>769232504
thats whats bothering me too. what if i make the wrong decision and find out after having kids
>>769222601
>she thinks its unfair
wow and you want to be with that bitch?
>>769232597
And this is where life becomes fun!
One roll of the dice could mean a lifetime of joy or being ripped from everything and one you love
fuck, who needs soap operas when real life is a fuckin blast
>>769221381
I'm 90% sure that's my cousin in pic related. Even the background looks like her old bedroom.
>>769232733
well, yeah? Love does that sort of thing
>>769232792
i come from a world of formulas and laws. this sucks xD
>>769222230
>haven't even lived together yet
>marriage and kids
KEK OP I say go to her so I can watch your retarded decisions tear your life apart slowly via greentext stories on /b/
You fucking tard
>>769232792
come on OP
roll the dice
experience life
>>769230267
Alot. We'd only have 2-3 hrs of Skype time a day, we always had time to text though. We were also in very different time zones (I was in Australia and she was in central US).
Like I said in my previous post. Effort is key in a LDR if you want to make it work
>>769232952
we lived together for two summers. doesnt count?
This is a no brainer. You live in Denmark. In Belgium one of you will be killed by terrorists.
But in all seriousness, I'm in a relationship that started at long distance for 4 years, now been living together for 3. You should know if it'll work and if it's for keeps. I would say it's a bit more important for girls to have the family close by, in general they don't seem to move away as much as guys.
>>769232968
Fate waits on a yay or nay!
>>769233032
damn, we dont even have a time difference. You two really were lucky and went all in there then
>>769232504
OP lives within the Schengen area of Europe. He can move about freely to see any kids. It'd be 100 euros for him to fly there for a weekend or something.
>>769221381
I straight up play with my gf doo doo to nut
>>769233226
its not about travelling to see your kids but if you're ALLOWED to see them
>>769232968
>>769233164
Skelebros always know what's up OP. Let love win!
>>769233361
id be quite rich. i dont think thatd be a problem
>>769233320
good for you, i havent done anal yet
>>769233361
I'm willing to bet that Denmark, being a bastion of liberal policies, wouldn't keep a fit parent from his children. This isn't shitstain dirty-south US of America.
>>769233494
you can be as rich as you want
>family friend married a nutjob without realising
>hes pretty rich being the head of one of the largest cleaning companies
>wife divorces and he can barely see his own children
>wife takes full custody
>wife puts his son up for adoption
that was actually his saving grace, from that he was able to make a case to the courts
>>769233557
this is australia
where we LOVE liberty
>>769233557
>>769233728
This cannot happen in Europe. We have a too sophisticated law system in the north
>>769233404
But maybe not!
>>769233728
Free? Can't you not even camp on state land anymore?
Look mate, just because your CUNTry can participate in EuroVision doesn't mean everything is the same.
Definitely move to Denmark.
Why not give it a shot?
If it works out; great, you just upgraded your country.
If it doesn’t; meh, other fish in the sea
>>769234093
but what if i feel a strong connection to my country?
OP, let your sack flap and prepare yourself to move. Worst case scenario is you move back home and your kids have a place in Denmark and in Belgium.
Everyone telling you to quit is bitter and eats their farts.
Let love win.
if you move to her prepare that your life will always be dictated by her decision making. If she is soooo invested and in love with you, as you say, then why wouldn't she move to you? And if her parents are more important to her than you, who do you think will have a more important impact on the decisions necessary when raising kids?
I am 40 years old an 17 years married and have watched a LOT of couples around me. The moment the man gives in with such decisions to his girl is the moment she looses interest and WILL fuck another guy. It may take 2-3 years, but she will.
Find a girl that values your presence more than her fucking country or her parents.
Moving to her is like bleeding in the moth of a hyena and hoping it will only drink, not bite.
Go out, don't write her anymore. Post pictures having healthy fun with friends on your Facebook, start working out hard, get a new hairdress and don't be fucking available to a person who says "Do what I want or i break up" and in 6 weeks she will move to you, or you were really wrong about her emotions in the first place.
Women always want what i hard to get and especially hard to keep. You show you aren't that, you show her that you are second or thrid tier. There will be some man aropund the corner who doesn't take her shit and that will be the man she fucks behind your back, if you sissy out that much.
>>769221381
What's her reasoning, OP?
Need a little more info.
>>769233799
well i hope thats true for the sake of a lot of people
>>769233916
i dont think you got the sarcasm
>>769234160
Thanks for the input. Im more leaning towards what youre suggesting rn tbh.
>>769234151
I dont want kids if i have a reasonable suspicion it wont work out. Im not like that
>>769234275
she wants her parents close, and wants her kids to be closer to her parents. She says the thought of them being close with mine kills her because itd mean they wouldnt be close to hers. thats the main thing
>>769234132
Why do you? I've been to Belgium...
You can get Belgium beer abroad these days. That's the only thing i could see staying for
>>769234385
That's what I'm telling you, it definitely won't work out if you don't try it. But, if you have your heart set on breaking up because you don't want to do something you expect someone to do for you then whatever. No skin off my teeth and I already convinced someone to let love win tonight so I'll sleep fine. Will you?
>>769234616
But im not in the position to move RIGHT NOW. I have no job experience. She DOES have it and is in the position to move this year if she wants. thats the thing. Shes also crawling back on the decision we made earlier
>>769221381
From my personal mistakes.
Don't procrastinate or abandon your goals for anyone. Especially a GF.
If you can realistically reach your goals and move to her cuntry I'd consider it.
If you abandon your goals she could potentially lose respect for you.
Be yourself. Stay the anon she fell for and if that means chasing your heart around the world then god speed anon.
God speed.
>>769234705
Tabula Rasa, blank slate. Start sending feelers for jobs by her, see if anyone bites. Also, people change their minds all the time. I'm reminded of a story of the band Love. The singer broke up with his girlfriend who cried at him that he said he'd love her forever, his response, forever changes.
>>769234444
Nice get.
That's the only reason we haven't moved yet, my wife is terrified of leaving the east coast for the west coast because of her family and nephew. She's slowly warming up to the idea because I told her we'd be able to visit occasionally. Maybe see if you can strike a compromise?
I'm assuming that you two would have more of a future in your country than hers, is that incorrect?
>>769233514
well, good luck then
At the end of the day you wouldn't be the first to deal with someone in a LDR getting cold feet. Maybe offer a trial cohabitation to see how she does? Like six months. That's the most a lot of countries will allow anyway. If it doesn't work it doesn't work.
If she's not willing to try that, well, you're SOL unless you're willing to give it a go in her country. Sorry, bro.
>>769235054
its correct. Ill be earning serious money due to my academic background. starting salaries are already above average pay in my country. I thought I got her used to the idead but now it all hit me in my face, unexpected, in one go, that she doesnt want to
>>769234987
I dont want to be ripped off for jobs. The money they use and price level si way off from the euro, so its very easy for them to underpay me.
we should also take in to consideration that chicks are mental and change their mind on a whim
>>769235146
ive already tried two summers in her country (3 and 2 months each time) so i already tried it. She doesn't want to try it in mine now. I offered a year or so. could get her foreign healthcare experience, but the answer was still no
>>769235213
thats true. think shed change her opinion back?
>>769221381
a long stream of unfinished projects that each eat up a small portion of your mental focus until your house is a wreck of failure that you avoid by starting new projects to distract yourself
>>769235195
So falls man. Filling his wallet before his heart and soul.
>>769235324
probably when you've already moved in hahaha
so predictably unpredictable
>>769235413
heart and soul dont fill your stomach or secure the future of your children
welcome to the real world
Move to mutual country
>>769235489
He'd make more than enough money in Denmark to secure the futures of his children. He's just looking for an excuse to break up with his girlfriend who's looking for an excuse to break up with him. Which is why they're perfect for each other.
>>769235413
>>769235489
Ive studied for 19 years of my life. I need to start well
>>769235292
Well there's your answer, m8. Sucks, but there's plenty of twatwaffles to go around.
if you move to her prepare that your life will always be dictated by her decision making. If she is soooo invested and in love with you, as you say, then why wouldn't she move to you? And if her parents are more important to her than you, who do you think will have a more important impact on the decisions necessary when raising kids?
I am 40 years old an 17 years married and have watched a LOT of couples around me. The moment the man gives in with such decisions to his girl is the moment she looses interest and WILL fuck another guy. It may take 2-3 years, but she will.
Find a girl that values your presence more than her fucking country or her parents.
Moving to her is like bleeding in the moth of a hyena and hoping it will only drink, not bite.
Go out, don't write her anymore. Post pictures having healthy fun with friends on your Facebook, start working out hard, get a new hairdress and don't be fucking available to a person who says "Do what I want or i break up" and in 6 weeks she will move to you, or you were really wrong about her emotions in the first place.
Women always want what i hard to get and especially hard to keep. You show you aren't that, you show her that you are second or thrid tier. There will be some man aropund the corner who doesn't take her shit and that will be the man she fucks behind your back, if you sissy out that much.
>>769235878
we'll see what happens wehn i tell her my decision and ive actually made up my mind. Could still change, and I hope hers does too
>>769221381
never move for a woman
