I got some free time on my hands...
Clinical Psychologist, working in forensics and therapy.
I'm here to listen to you. Interested in what torments you.
AMA
>>769221321
I just... don't know...anon-san
>>769221321
How to deal with people suffering from anosognosia?
>>769221497
Clarify
>>769221566
Well I guess the person your are talking about has been diagnosed with it. Not an everyday condition. Depending on where you come from, there should be multiple organizations that help you (physically and mentally). Or what seems to be the problem?
>psycho
>logist
do you enjoy being clogged by Andy's logs of shit?
>>769221710
OP explain the mindset of these people. Do they have scat fetish or what?
>>769221710
As an adult, I don't care. You yourself chose to be "offended" by something that actually doesn't have any effect on your life at all.
>>769221810
so you do enjoy Andy's logs, thank you for the clarification
>>769221764
Would be a waste of time.
edgyfunnywannabes should suffice
>>769221682
Well I'll try to make it short. I'm caretaker for my mother, she had a stroke and brain tumor years ago, now in a wheelchair. Trying to speak with her becomes more and more problematic, she wants everything and its contrary at the same time, describe herself as the victim when I'm the one eating shit all day long. No dementia, she's still rational but I can't tell if she sometimes loves to play with my nerves and driving me crazy or if it's her pathologies speaking through her (if that makes sense)
>>769222395
It does. I'll try to make it short as well...
For taking care of your mother, you are a noble person. That has to be said. There are MANY, who don't do, what you do.
At the same time, your situation is forlorn. You can't "win". Your mother, as sad as it sounds, is in a state of decay and probably won't get better any more. Most probably worse.
This is a harsh realization, but also a liberating one. (will continue)
>I got some free time on my hands
> I'm a quack, AMA
>>769222719
Don't try to heal her, because you can't. Accompany the person you loved, the person who tought you how to use a spoon or go to the toilet.
I don't know whether she does those things that hurt you on purpose, but I guess not. What would be the use? She has a severe condition after all.
When you were little, you didn't shit your pants to anger her I guess.
Treat yourself well from time to time. This is the most important thing. Get out of this nursing frame one in a while.
And when the day comes, and your mother will leave this earth, you can be proud, that you have given back everything she gave you when you were little.
>>769223106
But in the end, and this has to be said...if you can't take it anymore and there is no help at all...consider a nursing home. Don't break yourself for you probably have a lot of living in front of you.
Op i may have sociopathic tendencies what would happen if i got diagnosed?
>>769223343
How did you get this idea in the first place? Or who told you (plus when and why)?
>>769223106
Leaving the house from time to time is problematic as you can guess. I've tried. When being outside for a certain amount of time, I feel relieved but coming back home is always painful. When giving, how much is too much? I sacrificed my career, I work from home, having 17 hours long days without weekends off or vacations, working while taking care of her. Working is the only thing that helps me staying sane, but I'm afraid of reaching my limit someday. It's been my life for the past 15 years without anyone to rely on.
Thanks for your time, man.
>>769223341
Nursing home is out of budget, France sucks for that.
>>769223480
A nursing friend of mine recognized a lot of my symptoms of a friend of ours who actually is and i looked into and tried a few tests online and they all reccomended i see a shrink asap about it. Op im nervous about what will happen if i get diagnosed as one.
>>769223892
*from
>>769223725
There is a vulnerability-stress-model (google it if you want to), that shows rather pretentious, but still accurate, what can happen.
You have a lot on your "energy consuming and stressing" or simply said, minus side, but obviously not enough on your plus side.
You can go on like this, but not for long. If you tell me, that you cant reduce your minuses, you HAVE to work on your pluses...read, smoke a joint and go to a hooker, play online games...it doesn't matter.
If you brake, nobody profits. Neither you, nor your mum.
How to manage my paranoia ? I know than I doubt in too much things, like my friends, I slowly isolate myself because of that but I've suffured too much for my lack of doubt. And I've social phobia and I've been diagnosed high potential couple of years ago, have a lot troubles to manage this shit too
>>769221321
Violent and unsettling sexual thoughts that are intrusive. Have difficulties being social. Depression and suicidal ideation.
Although I've tried several psychiatrists and meds none of it really helped or the side effects were worse than the illness in the first place. Lithium orotate is helping a surprising amount, but the thoughts are still upsetting and on bad days I have other issues, but I think the thoughts are the worst part. Knowing on a rational level that they're just thoughts helps to a degree, but it doesn't alleviate feelings of guilt, shame, and fear that come with them.
Should I just an hero?
>>769224374
I'll clarify a bit, I'd changed my lifestyle over the past year and was doing much better with my nerves, mood swings, and depression. There was a recent traumatic event that seems to have got me symptoms back in full swing.
>>769223892
I work with sociopaths. Most of them are not "afraid of maybe being one". Some don't even realize it, after being told so. So you are on the safe side on this one.
Don't rely on this pseudo diagnosis. Just because you might do stuff, that Sociopaths also(!) do, doenst mean you are one. Sociopaths also do eat, shit and laugh...like you and me if you get what I mean.
But since you are nervous about it, maybe go see a shrink. Just don't tell him your "problem". because assumptions can be trend-setting. Could become some kind of self fulfilling prophecy.
>>769221321
I'm pretty sure I can't recognize faces of people properly. When I was in middle school, there was a time when my mother dyed her hair, and I could not recognize her, only after she started talking.
Nowadays I try to mitigate that by trying to remember hair colors, gait, etc., but it's difficult.
I also can't really tell emotions from faces, only if I focus on small movements, but even then it's a learned thing.
How to deal with this? It backfires a lot, and I come off as a fucking retard.
>>769224374
You are the kind of patient I would love to work with. It's a pitty that the only thing I can do, is write you some of these lines.
If thinking about an heroing helps you. Do it. It might sound peculiar, but there is nothing bad about it. It can be very relieving. Like standing up from a conversation you don't like. It doesn't mean you'll do it, but the thought about being ABLE to do it any time, can be very relieving.
You should definitely try therapy, although there are way too many idiots working as therapists.
Anyway...you mention guilt and shame. May I ask what for?
>>769224635
You are not a retard. But what you are telling me, might be a very rare condition (visual agnosia), thus very hard to diagnose.
There is a book, called "the man who mistook his wife for a hat". It is not that good, but there is a short story in it, which is also the name of the book. Try to get your hands on it, and read this story. If you recognize yourself in it. Go and get treatment.
>>769224176
Appreciate it /b/ro, thanks
>>769224931
It's not that bad. I just can't distinguish people from each-other from memory, I still know they are people.
It's more like with cars for non-car-people: they can differentiate between cars, but if I told them to "remember this car", and then the next day I showed 3 similar ones and ask them which one was the car from yesterday, they would be confused. I have the same thing with faces.
What's the treatment though?
>>769224302
Go get properly diagnosed! If you have Schizophrenia (starts in late adolescents), it can be treated very well. But you need to get help. It sound like, right now, you are at the infamous start of a downward spiral of isolation. Less contact with others --> more thoughts --> less contacts and so on.
But the main thing is, to know whether you have a medical condition or "just" a psychological one. Very different treatments!
24 just checked in with a psych out of sheer desperation
> Grown up in family of mental illness (turns out that's important)
> Always did shit myself. High'ish IQ. Psych said "maybe that's why everybody thought you were doing fine"
> Never made friends. Bad social skills (never learned properly as a kid. Always stayed home. Just started learning socialness the last 3 yrs or so when i moved out)
> When I socialize, I (sometimes subconciously) use people for whatever or pretty much condition them for things
> Can't hold social contacts well bc I just don't care about them (although I do realize the lack of it is hurting me)
> Ecstacy/depression/anxiety
moodswings (usually only those 3 states)
> Violent, maybe technically sadistic, thoughts
> VERY much underperforming on school/work/everything. Most days are too depressed to function
2 months later with the psych I'm still just filing in papers and answering checklists pretty much
I'm scared shitless abt medication and am not taking them. I think theyre lying to me
Went to the psych in a desperate last attempt. The diagnosis has changed 3x by now
Considering giving up on that, and going out with a last big satisfying attempt (hoping that might restore my will to live)
What's wrong with me?
Advice?
Please
>>769225106
The story in the book, is an extreme case. Keep that in mind.
IF (!!!!!) you have a light form of visual agnosia, it can't be treated as far as I know.
But nonetheless...you can get through life! This is the most important part. You've learned to compensate, and that is what counts.
Is it the social interaction, that stresses you? The backfiring you wrote about?
>>769224744
I haven't had much of a go with any psychotherapists, only psychiatrists, by I come from a family who thought it was all hokum or it wasn't necessary, it was for crazy people. I dunno, I found a psychotherapist an hour away that was even willing to do skype sessions if I'm having a bad time, I just thought I had it under control because it was so much better for a time.
It's the content of the thoughts, I rationally understand they're not my own doing, and they're just thoughts, and that I can't control them, and trying to control them does make it worse. I would shake my head to the side quickly as a teen to try and clear my head and haven't been able to break that habit, which only makes me more self conscious of my thoughts and spikes my anxiety. I know other people can't read my mind, but I feel like I can sense their revulsion at my thoughts at times.
I have an inkling of where the shame comes from just with introspection, my parents were Southern Baptists and believed in corporal punishment. I would be belted if I took a shine to something they thought was immoral. Whether it was a fantasy novel, some trend, or the first time I found an old porn rag. There's more there, but I'm not comfortable sharing all of it even anonymously.
Sometimes the sucidal thoughts were reassuring and for a long time I carried a razor blade in my wallet. Not because I wanted to die, but because carrying that gave me a small sense of control over my own life. I could exit whenever I wanted.
Self harmed a lot, but stopped that. Self medicated when I didn't see relief from the doctors and that lead to another downward spiral, but I got sober on my own and thought I was making good headway. I'm optimistic in thinking this is just a temporary setback, but I'm terrified of going back to the way things were with these symptoms flaring up.
>>769225480
Sorry for the wall of text. I'll try to set up an appt for this month. The more I typed that the more I realize I've been putting it off because it makes me uncomfortable.
>>769225341
"Stresses me" is an overstatement, it's more of an inconvinience I'm trying to have alternative solutions for. It's like not having a leg.
For people who don't know me well, don't really like it when I don't recognize them. I usually tell people in advance that I'm _not_ going to remember their faces and it's not because I'm an asshole, but because I literally can't.
I also got into trouble for not recognizing that I touched a sensitive subject during conversation (the same subject was never a problem, mind, I just touched some nerve). Noone told me, because they thought it was obvious - from all the facial expressions. It was pretty disastrous, I almost got my ass kicked for that.
>>769225236
>>769225480
I'll try to answer to both of you. That is kind of unprofessional, but I didn't expect so much interest in this thread.
Both of you are playing life on hard mode. That's a sad fact.
If I had to sum up the things I learned during my career, one of them would be
"We have our childhood & teenage years and spend the rest of our lives compensating / act out the stuff that happened to us during that time"
Some of us are blessed with nice childhoods, some of us are blessed with resistent minds and/or good coping strategies and social networks...and well...some of us aren't.
Both of you had the realization, that something is wrong, thats good. But what is even better...both of you actually want to change! That's the most important step of them all! It is!
Now, "getting better" isn't a sprint, it's a fucking marathon that last's your whole life.
Don't look for the big throw, it's the tiny steps. Getting better isn't a big time event, it's the smallest of things in everyday life.
Notice, and actively purse them. A good tasting coffee, a nice walk home from work (sport would be even better), a good song you listened to.
Implement those things. Plan them. Treat yourself.
You will have your fallbacks. That's ok. Nobodys perfect. But a fallback isn't a failure. It's just a temporary setback. Maybe you can even learn from it. Then it's not a fallback at all.
(Can continue if not too cheesy)
>>769221321
Whenever I'm in center of attention my heart starts racing and my neck starts twitching.. How can I overcome this?
Can't get to finish my Master Thesis to get my degree. Its has been years now. Not a problem, as university is free in my country, still sucks balls. Do loads of others things, but can't finish. Help.
How do you diagnose a psychopath? I talked to some girl and she thinks I am
>>769225108
Thanks for the answer Doc, currently, i'm really affraid of being alone, It's the case since 3 years, and I can't handle it anymore. An old friend have push me to go out, and now, it's time to go home, I'm stuck, I don't want to stay in à city who's far from my home alone, but the idea of be back home and stay alone again paralyse me too. I just want to scream like a dumbass and hit people
>>769221321
my scat fetish, where did it come from why is it so strong and can I moderate or eliminate it, I am deep into it, full body smearing, wife plays with me, we eat each others shit, but after the orgasm I swear NEVER again, until next time
>>769226435
There is a nice widespread "condition" inbetween students that "can't" finish.
After you finish...there is nothing. Now you are a student, you have a goal. But after you have finished? Do you have plans? Do you know what you want to do with your life? Job?
Do these questions make you uncomfortable?
>>769221321
I love.mf.gf. yet i keep cheating on her. Its ldr. I get unhappy if not kissed/fucked for a month. I think having gf's from 14 to 20 messed me up as sex and cuddling was constant and i got so used to it
i hate myself for not doing more, for procrastinating, for staying silent in the shadows when i should speak up and share my mind with the world. I'm lazy, lethargic, unambitious, and unmotivated whether due to depression, social anxiety, perhaps even despite towards the world around me after a long childhood of abuse.
How to find the courage, or better yet, the ambition to shed that and be the person i feel i have the potential to be?
also what's your favorite type of cheese?
>>769226302
24yo guy here
Definitely. Please, continue
So. My childhood fucked me (with maybe a genetic thing from the getgo) - Just...keep on trying? pretty much? Enjoy the small things, and accept that's all that's feasible at the start?
(do not mean that negatively. it's how my mind works rn)
Very much want to thank you for your time responding already
~D
>>769226532
do you care about what she thinks of you?
Thanks for thread anyway, OP. It made me feel a tad better just to tell someone about it a bit. <3
>>769221321
Have you meet gifted people who were "failing" at life ? By gifted I mean, quick brain
>>769226668
ps. it's not that I want to change. It's that I'm at rockbottomand can't deal it with it this way for very much longer.
(although i guess that technically means wanting things to change..)
>>769226676
No, but I want to find out if it's true
This nipple lactation in me and I am a boy
>>769226752
Post milky nips for milky tips.
>>769226782
Here
>>769226630
Western culture was defined by christians, who were slaves. (Kinky) sex is something they didn't get, so they made their lack of it a virtue. Not being able to have sex with different people --> faithfulness. Not being able to take revenge --> forgiveness.
Not long ago, men were running around for millions(!!!!!) of years fucking every female they could, and now of a sudden you have to stop?
Look...question is...can you live with? As long as nobody gets hurt (std's), and you are alright with it, there is no need to feel guilty about it. If you feel guilty about it...well...this is where it gets complicated.
>>769221321
Is the criteria for depression used in the DSM robust enough to give a reliable diagnosis?
>>769221321
Is there a name for a condition where something horrible or unusual is suggested to a person, then it shocks them so much they then go and pursue those things?
>>769226897
Care to offer a specific example? Not OP.
>>769226897
I believe the technical term is a contrarian dickweed
>>769226861
too much estrogen? you getting it through physical contact with someone taking heavy doses of hormones? you taking hormones? since birth?
>>769226590
Don't let society tell you what's normal and what not.
You even found a partner for you fetish you lucky bastard.
You don't hurt anybody by doing it. If it makes you happy...why stop?
I mean...I myself feel ill thinking about your fetish, but this is none of your concern, as well as it is not society concern whats happens inbetween you and your loved one.
>>769226958
Drops of milk since I found out in high scool, Invega sustenna made it worse, wat do?
>>769226861
Unfortunately that's
a side effect of some of the new antipsychotics, like clozapine. You might ask your doc about trying an alternative, but I'm not OP. Just my $0.02. GL to you, megamilk.
>>769226709
Yes. It's the gifted ones that suffer most. Because they are the ones reflecting too much on their mistakes. Many are overwhelmed by it. What I try most of the time is to convince people, "to embrace the suck".
To love their fate as Nietzsche would say.
>>769226863
Thank you, that is how i see it. Its unnatural to tell a woman thats hot for you to fuck off.
>>769227118
Oh, you already discontinued it. Damn nigga.
>>769226979
it fuels depressive thoughts and I feel I have a part of me I have to hide from society, If I had a foot fetish I could joke about it, if I was a fag, society is coming around to them, but scat is the ultimate taboo, I cant discuss it with anyone, I must keep the act hidden from even family, wife got into it to please me, she would be just as happy to never do it again, it is a brutally lonesome life, and I cant get hard without it
>>769226979
>>769226863
I'm not the one to tell you how to do your job, OP, but it seems to me like you're just telling them what you/they want to believe in.
>>769226752
not sure if same
or just another anon like me that saved image...
>>769226886
While working, I grew weary of ICD and DSM. Don't get me wrong...they are necessary for communication, science etc.
But when you are working with a person, you should focus on the person, not a diagnosis. You can't put the same template on billions of people.
>>769226302
Didn't see your response initially since I switched from mobile, but thanks a lot, OP. Your perspective helped a little and you've encouraged me to actually go see a psychotherapist which I dreaded. So thanks for that, although I'm keeping my expectations low for now. It means a lot that you took the time for this all the same.
>>769226941
You can do better than 'dickweed' at the end there. Step it up a notch, get me triggered.
>>769227283
same they are my tits
https://youtu.be/IzUg6x1krd4
>>769227469
You're dad a lesbeyan
Are there any tips you have for calming yourself down when you're having a panic attack?
>>769221321
Depression anxiety suicidal take your pick anon
>>769227254
I'm not "doing my job" here. In fact, it is very unprofessional what I do here. Never started such a thread, I just was curious to see what happens.
Nevertheless, the things you quoted reflect my beliefs to some degree.
Since we have to live together as a society, for society to work...we have to abide a lot of rules. Many of which go against our nature as individuals. This can cause a lot of stress (in the best case).
I think this is more of philosophical discussion.
If you, by what you are doing, don't hurt anyone, and at the same time contribute to society...why do you "have to" feel guilty for so many things, that individuals by themselves enjoy?
>>769227533
No OP, but breathing is the most Important thing. Try to keep a ratio of 2:1. For example, you breathe in for 2 seconds, then breath out for 1 second. You would be surprised how difficult it is to pay attention to your breath once you're panic struck. Perhaps practice this when you're at ease to it will be easier once panic sets on.
Everyone here needs to learn to let go of things, or better yet detach from what they are holding onto first so they can see how much of an insufferable bore they are being.
Since teenage years my mind has gone through fucked up stages. Im 18 now.
No exact memory of when it all went began, although in regards to the sexual deviancy that will be mentioned later, I recall moments from the age of nine onwards where I made regrettable actions motivated by sexual desires.
Sexual deviancy.. As mentioned previously I have been what I see as a victim of this. I dont blame other people for it and rarely pity myself over it, contrary to the guilt felt from it as a teen . SInce 13, when began jerking off, experienced an overwhelming thrill or in other words just got horny as fuck over incest. My sexual thoughts in regards to this have driven me to do some fucked shit. some of the thoughts continue presently, however I have learnt to control it, as i would imaginethe same way meth heads control their temptations. Should also mention, a few of the actions I made as a teen because of this fucked with my head. Felt a lot of shame.
Second shit to impact me mentally - From the age of 16 I was depressed and had social anxiety, all diagnosed at 17. I do not believe the shit i talked about in the first paragraph was the sole reason for this, in fact I believe it was only a minor detail in why i became severally depressed.
Been on a few meds for depression and anxiety, however on the third med I began to experience violent thoughts (no sexual shit). What i take from it is the anti anxiety part of the medication made me not give a fuck about many things anymore. I enjoyed these thoughts and feelings. All my teen days of being made to feel inferior released some rage and all of a sudden i was the superior one and as I belived this and started to portray it, others seemed to think of me in the same light.
Have been off the meds now but the state of mind still remains.
shouldve mentioned:
>smoked weed regularly since 14
>not looking to change but am interested in a professional opinion
>>769227284
Alright. Thank you anon.
>>769227639
>If you, by what you are doing, don't hurt anyone, and at the same time contribute to society...why do you "have to" feel guilty for so many things, that individuals by themselves enjoy?
Just to name one thing at least. Wouldn't the guy's gf get hurt after she finds out he cheated on her?
>>769227690
Get a hobby or find a job. Stop being diagnosed its killing your ego.
>>769226934
Just a moderate obsession with trying to find a freshly dead woman to fuck.
That and I believe that burying dead people is stupid, we should be eating our dead as a part of funeral proceedings.
I have also had a few serious suicidal episodes.
These things were never even a whisper inside a daydream until someone brought them to my attention. I remember that I once found these things repulsive, but decades later I seem to be moving closer to some kind of glorious self reinvention where I can become just as fucked up as I like and I won't have to answer to anyone.
>>769221321
OP here
Sorry to those I could not answer to. Did not expect that amount of response.
I will lurk this thread a little more, but have to do some other stuff now.
We all die in the end. Try to have some fun on the way. Just try and don't hurt nobody.
Learn to let go. Learn to ask for help. Don't feel guilt and shame, just because society urges you to.
We will disperse into oblivion. Everyone of you beautiful motherfuckers here will not be remembered. All we have is a limited amount of time. Make use of it.
>>769227690
Just remember, you are 18 and change every day whether you like it or not. Every breath you take is closer to your last, so make them count!
>>769227514
Your*
Lesbian*
>>769227924
Op is not this cool of a cucumber. You a simple boy.
>>769227892
I have compulsions too, bro. Just remember that you don't have to act on them. You can try aversion therapy if it's really upsetting, some people have success with that. You're not the only one ever that's fascinated by the dead, but usually I see this as being unable to find intimacy in your personal life. Any romantic partners or close friends?
Disclaimer: not op, not a doc.
>>769227647
you first
>>769227725
I get this question literally every single time. The answer is: Yes.
If you can't manage this kind of life (lie, organize,..) don't do it.
BUT...and this is very unpopular in public but agreed upon in private...if she does not know and she is happy with you. Well, then she is truly happy with you.
If you can get good marriage/relationship and good sex from the same person. Congratulations...jackpot.
But what if you can't? Of course, you should work on it! You HAVE to work on it. But what, if in the end, you can't? Jump from one relationship into the other?
>>769228080
That's somewhat correct. I have a partner of 11 years but we're rarely finding each other for sex anymore. My lust for a corpse stems from anxiety I think. If she were dead then there would be no expectation for me to perform to a certain standard, and there would be no disagreement on what I wanted to try out. I actually don't have a very twisted sense of sex, I think I would settle for just a good position and to fuck the way I wanted for a change. I've become very skeptical of that little phrase "It's fine, really". As most men have realised, 'fine' NEVER means fine. 'Fine' means you have fucked up and you will pay for it later. Even if you work out whatever it is that you did wrong, the fact you did it means you should repent!
Can you see the issue here? ^
All that came from me thinking about regular old sex with my wife. If she's dead, I KNOW that there will be no shame and guilt to make up for later.
>>769226668
>>769226726
Don't know if you still lurk...
Yes, keep on trying. But overthink your goals. Make them realistic. Split them up. Adjust them from time to time.
Flying to the moon isn't done in one step if you get what I mean.
Will only continue on this if you are still here...
>>769228739
I think I see part of this, it's funny, I've been with my wife for 11 years too.
Dry spells are par for the course, but I think you guys should at least talk about it and try to make a compromise. There's r/deadbedrooms on plebbit (no pun intended), that might be able to help, but a lot of them will tell you to move on if it's a sexless marriage. In our case we made it work, but we had to be open and talk about things. If she's tired, we'd just have a quickie and I'd let her just lay there, and I wouldn't put too much pressure on her to preform, which sounds like it'd be up your alley anyway. Of course mechanical sex isn't always as satisfying, but it leaves me less frustrated that way, you know. There's hope that you can work it out. Just tell her how you feel, although I wouldn't tell my wife about the compulsion, but that's an entirely personal choice.
You might also try some lifestyle changes to address the anxiety. I'm not saying it's a substitute for therapy, but a little exercise, certain diets (paleo seemed to help some with my anxiety), and taking some time for healthy hobbies, especially social ones. One I usually suggest for people on this imageboard is dnd, just because it gets people out to have fun in a social environment with other misfits.
Good luck, bro.
>>769229097
Definitely still here
~D
>>769229549
Well then. It is not "just moving on", or "just trying". But there are some phases in life, were it is necessary to do so.
Life can(!) be more than this, but you have to make it more than this all by yourself. The saying, that you have to learn to love yourself first, before anyone else can, is true to some degree.
Self hatred will drive others away, because you will project your own hate on them.
Most probably, you don't have any reason to hate yourself. This is very pretentious I know. It's like saying "eat less" to a fat person. I'm not trying to heal you (not possible in this setting). Rather to give you a little perspective.
The sheer fact, that you are able to come online, to articulate your problem, to reflect on it shows, that there are socioeconomic and personal factors, that at least make it POSSIBLE to get better.
How old are you if I may ask
>>769230031
I'm the 24yo
can't disagree with that. I have the resources to improve and all that. And I fully realize I am the problem.
The self-hatred is absolutely a big part. But it is fuelled by how let down I am by my own doings.
I feel like if things would improve (finish an education, find an SO, make an actual friend I can trust), the self-hatred would improve.
So far I have been unable to do that.
How would one go about changing those things?
If that's the first step (like a maslow pyramid), then I have failed at the bottom shelf. Then that's where I should start; but how
Surprised by how accurate your statements are so far tbh
What would your biggest recommendation be? A practical perspective
>>769230336
Whoops, you told me already (age).
Big thing will be to accept, that a lot of more failure will come your way. Forever. That it isn't a fault that you inherit, just something that happens to everyone. You will fail a lot more in your life.
I don't know what you do on your daily basis, but my biggest practical recommendation would be a an orderly daily routine. Not the whole day, but some anchors, that you follow through. Don't get to rigid, you cannot plan everything, but don't use excuses for not doing the things either.
Everyday, put money in the bank on terms of discipline. Must not even be something like chores...taking 5 minutes to drink a coffee (without doing something besides) is fine as.
Build up a structure, a basis that you can rely on and fall back to if things don't go your way. And if they do, start exploring more.
>>769230926
Solid copy doc
I used to study accountancy, now doing lowlevel shitty financial/administrative stuff. Whatever state I was in with things I COULD do well is pretty much useless and ground down to the ground now.
I'm probably being a bit too eager here (I am unaware of how much time you have left); but I would hate to waste this opportunity.
Would you object if I'd ask a bit further? Mostly regarding medication
So far the things they are offering me are:
- SSRI
- Lithium
- Lamotrigine
My reasons for not agreeing to a medicamenteus treatment:
- The apathy/desensitiving/'stomping off' of emotions could make things worse. I'm already in a constant state of eh
- At the start and end of the treatment, certain things (can?) get worse. My anxiety is one thing that absolutely should not get worse
- Permanent brainchanges - This is one I feel very badly about. It is palliative medication, that could leave me at an even bigger disadvantage for the rest of my life
If it would really be a case of "try this. if it sucks, just stop" it would be so much different. But apparently no gaurantees are possibel(?)
Am I being crazy? Should I trust that stuff more? Should I really 100% surrender myself to a psych's professionalism?
(expecting them to have, a lot of, flaws just like everyone else. Just not sure in which ways)
And I just realized I shouldn't use 'disadvantage' as an excuse...not anymore
Is self medicating ever a good idea? People talk about healthy coping mechanisms, but I have no idea what they're on about tbh.
>>769231454
Question is, do you trust your doc. Maybe switch. Go docshopping, ask for recommendations. Find someone that you can trust. Everything else, concerning meds, will become easier.
I do get your concerns, and honestly, I am not a fan of even Aspirin. I rather go to bed and call it a day. In the long run, it's better not taking any medication. But this is a luxury not everyone can afford.
Some can completely get off meds (IN THE LONG RUN...Emphasis on LONG), some can learn to listen to tehmselves and only take them, when necessary. Some have to take them constantly.
Telling which kind you are, isn't possible in this setting.
Best thing that could happen to you in this case, is a doc who's knows whats up and who you trust. So maybe this is one of the (short to) medium term goals you should set.
>>769231518
No. Unless you`re a professional. And even those tend to overestimate their knowledge
