No secrets thread? secret thread Tell me your secrets
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
No secrets thread?
secret thread
Tell me your secrets
I'm a dog in a human suit.
>>768894534
>I'm a dog in a human suit.
What breed
bump
>>768894697
Caucasian
>>768894776
Also bump
I love these threads, but I prefer this picture.
>>768894170
i once did a taboo and posted it on a secrets thread for anons to jerk it to
>>768895506
What's stopping you now
>>768894170
I never put my cock in a vagina so technicaly I'm still Virgin at 33yo
>>768896185
this
>>768896841
No, you're just a faggot.
But, thanks for telling us anyway.
>>768894170
I pretend to be alt-right when I'm really just an edgelord beta fag that wants to watch the world burn since I can't get laid, fuck everyone elses lives.
>>768896960
Yeah but I dont really care to be such a faggot and a virgin.
And a cat is fine too !
>>768897110
Hay this guys alright
I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
>inb4 greentext
I draw. Posted lots from online stock images so ppl knew I was legit. Friends started to ask if I'd draw them. Some would ask me if i could do "tasteful nudes" of them, since I'd been posting tasteful nudes from the stock models. I always do sittings if i can, so I get to see them irl. I don't really need that. I take way more reference photos than I need, and in increasingly exotic position, unrelated to the final picture. If I'm very close to the girl/I know she's very comfortable with me, I take some liberties, getting a bit hands on when posing her. Seen around seven close friends totally nude this way now. Usually I do do tasteful poses, so a butt or a breast is all that ends up in the image. But I have "reference photos" of everything. It makes me diamonds hanging out with them afterwards, casually knowing exactly how they're shaved, what their nipples and lips look like.
>>768897110
Literally should be the tagline for /b/
>>768897188
So go fuck a bitch nigga. Just act like there's a chance they could turn you straight and they'll line up to try and convert you.
Girls are fucking stupid.
I exhibit signs of being a narcissist, even though I'm not one. Is this good or bad? I'm worried about myself.
Food has started tasting different to me in the last week.
At first I though I'd just fucked up ny usual recipe, but no. Other meals have it too. A mild acrid aftertaste, like acetone.
Am I going to die?
>>768894170
i havent had sex in 15 years due to health issues which prevented me until three years ago or so and i'm pretty suicidal. i've lost my youth, my friends, my wealthy family let me fucking starve and refused to help me and i'm at the point where i just want someone to fucking hurt about this fucking illness that didn't have to fuck my life up for this god damn long or cost me as much as it did besides me
>>768897535
Probably.
>>768897565
Should kill yourself then.
It's probably not going to get any better, so wash the sand out of your pussy or off yourself nigga.
>>768894170
For the last 3 years I've spent any spare cash I've had on opana, heroin and cigarettes. It's gotten to the point where I'm selling possessions I don't really need but would like to have. for instance, Im not selling my pc, phone, desk or monitor but I sold my logitech gear and replaced it with cheap shit.
>>768897535
sorry son you got the diabeetus
>>768897717
You really should ditch the pills nigga. That shit is garbage.
>>768894170
Your secret is that you are Paul Stanley.
>>768897801
Well I'd argue heroin is worse. Opana is a much better high and I'm at least not in danger of accidentally ingesting fentanyl like i am when i pick up dope. But yeah I should. It's a lot easier said than done. No matter how bad things get, my mind screams at me to pick up again. I've gotten clean for several months at a time but always end up back where I am.
>>768897457
I've been with some girls but just foreplay with oral sex and stuffs.
Ohh and I live with my mom. Obv
:(
>>768897354
So... what is the secret exactly ?
Everyone know you draw !
>>768894170
I'm not really a guy imma woman
>>768897989
Just lose the pills man. Those shits are fun until they're necessary... then they're shit... and that "necessary" phase hits real fucking fast.
I'm not saying quit doing shit, but maybe just quit THAT shit. It fixed me up pretty good, and I was on a fucking lot there at the end.
>>768897565
What is your illness?
>>768898000
>I live with my mom
You act like there's any other place to lose your virginity.
>>768897535
Not cancer could be Lupus
>>768897634
Thanks anon
>>768897731
Plausible. I'm a chubby 30yo with a desk job. But my sugar intake has gone to basically nothing since I broke up with my ex, it'd be a weird time for it to make itself known,
>>768898159
No you're not.
I love feeling girly.
I graduate college in Saturday. I've been lying to my mom about having a large group of friends and going out with them almost every weekend for the past four years. I don't know what she's gonna say when she finds out.
Also I have a three inch erection and I can't talk to girls to save my life.
>>768898252
We'll I'm not really a woman imma horse
>>768898125
Oops, guess I didn't make that obvious. The secret is that I only built up this image as a bit of an "artist" in order to get to see and take pics of my female friends naked and occasionally touch them up a bit. They all consider me "legit", but I couldn't give a fuck about art tbh.
>>768898184
metabolic disorder misdiagnosed as bipolar. my lungs almost fucking failed before i hit a point where i had minimal but stable function. i spent years in so god damn much pain i'm unable to feel it. i had six teeth pulled and the only reason i took pain meds was because my jaw wouldn't move unless i did. i literally felt no pain or anything that's how much pain i was in as a fucking teenager.
>>768898312
who gives a shit if you didn't make friends in college. College is bullshit. You're probably better off for it.
And women really don't care how big your dick is. Just have money and she'll fuck anything.
I have borderline stalker feelings for a girl I met last semester. It's been like, three weeks since I've seen her and I miss her terribly. I have no idea why I feel this way, I never have before. I've had girlfriends in the past, but this shit is on a whole new level.
>>768898334
you're not that either.
>>768898341
Pretty big waste of time when you probably could have just asked to cop a feel and they'd have let you anyway.
I ain't got any secrets
I have cheated on my wife multiple times with other women. At least 8 women to date. So many, that I suggested we become swingers. She agreed. She met a guy on Fetlife and they started sending pics back and forth. Then she met him behind my back and they kissed. I found out and put a stop to the everything. But I still look for opportunities to get my dick wet.
>>768898231
could be a yeast infection, diabetes, or low blood sugar version of diabetes
>>768897535
lymphoma. go make a blood count
>>768898409
shit man.what metabolic disorder? good luck
i hate on all interracial threads i see because it reminds me of how i got drunk at university and let some black guy fuck me. you think it's degrading or a stigma for white women to be blacked? nothing compared to being a guy
>>768898438
To be honest imam broom https://youtube.com/watch?v=izJbgzP1tRA
>>768898497
I'm not fucking 14. These are grown ass women, some of whom had partners at the time.
As for being a waste of time, it actually ended up making me a fair bit of side cash, so there's that.
>>768898554
>>768898588
Welp. Looks like it's time for my first doctor visit in 8 years.
>>768898341
Ahhh... nice !
Has the same idea but with photographer routine
>>768898588
thyroid was fucked up they fixed it though. doesn't require pills but required a lot of retraining. i had almost no functioning metabolism or apatite for almost almost a decade. i have to eat on a schedule because i don't have a "your hungry asshole" feeling like normal people. among other fucked up shit i endured
I've been thinking of making a grindr account, just to test the waters, so to speak. Not gay, just curious.
>>768898780
The sudden warning sign of one’s breath smelling like nail polish remover occurs when your body is unable to utilize sugar properly, and burns fat for fuel instead. The chemical compounds released during this process are known as ketones. The ketone, acetone – a key ingredient in nail polish remover – produces the telltale diabetes warning sign of fruity-smelling breath.
You may also experience a fruity taste in your mouth that persists even after you’ve brushed your teeth. Referred to medically as diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA), this symptom can result in a diabetic coma if left untreated.
Additional warning signs of diabetes include:
Fatigue
Dizziness
Frequent thirst and urination
Craving sweets
If you experience acetone-scented breath or any other warning signs linked to diabetes, schedule an appointment with your physician. You’ll likely be asked to fast for at least 8 hours beforehand so the doctor can check your blood sugar level via a simple blood test. Bear in mind, a healthy fasting blood sugar level is between 70 and 100mg/dl; a reading over 200mg/dl may signal diabetes.
While type 1 diabetes is managed with insulin injection therapy, type 2 diabetes treatment often includes lifestyle changes such as new diet and exercise regimens.
>>768898222
>>768898823
I think it's worth it. Personally I'm turned on far more by the idea of seeing close platonic friends naked than randomers, and also the voyeuristic nature of getting off when they don't realise you're getting off, so it was a perfect fit.
I want my gf to give a hj to another dude in front of me. Asked her one day if she ever thought about sleeping with another person but she got upset I would ask a question like that.
>>768898672
Dude, grown women are way easier to talk into sex shit than younger girls.
Also, good for you if you're doing characatures with your faggy art degree.
>>768899188
There's something wrong with you then.
>>768899191
don't have an art degree. not interested in art.
>>768899280
Maybe vaccines do cause autism. Jesus christ you're a fucking idiot bro.
>>768899254
Nope you cuck.
>>768898967
Actually that's very helpful. my diet change to low-carb-high-fat over the last few weeks has probably just put my body into ketosis
Fuck I'm an idiot, I've accidentally gone on the Atkins diet
>>768899120
Watching this right now and thought the same thing. Godspeed anon
>>768897260
See you here all the time
>>768899138
I approve ! I guess they're pretty free in their minds and a little bit exhibitionist too
I'm becoming romantically infatuated with somebody. Normally, wouldn't be a problem. I'm not that big of a bitch I can't talk to them but unfortunately they aren't in the set of people I can date for a number of reasons. It's starting to get to me /b/ro's.
I broke into my neighbors house and found a flash drive with all of their homemade sex pictures on it. I copied it and fap to it regularly.
>>768899332
whoosh... "bro"
I wanna fuck my phat ass sister so bad
>>768899602
it's an interesting mix. about half are the sluttier types/I'd expect it from them and the others tend to be the shyest ones. I prefer getting them to pose because it tends to be a bit more enf.
>>768899597
It's not always the same /b/ro. Because I've also shot a man in reno just to watch him die.
Dear Anons,
Long time ago my 8yo cousin kissed me ! Later when she has aroud 12, she let me touch her
It happened a few times and then she threw it all away to her school nurse.!
I've been interrogating by police all day.
I denied
no evidence no prosecution so no jail !
I made it through but the family knows the story.
Claimed inno ofc
Never saw her again in 10years ! She has 2 or 3 kids now, I heard
>>768900441
How old were you when this shit all happened? If you were like less than 14 then not so bad. If you were over 20 you should know that children are fucking idiots and don't understand consequences.
>>768900164
It' salways the shy ones that are the craziest. They probably wanted a gift for their man.
>>768900065
Why? There are other girls and they won't fuck your life and family relations up.
>>768900398
Yeah, one day I shot a guy who shoot a guy in Reno.
Just because he walked on my shadow !
>>768898875
It's fun to make one, even if you never do anything but just flirt with the other guys on there. It's ... nice... to feel attractive.
>>768900548
Around 12 for the 1st time, close to 19 the last time.
But I knew the consequences when I was 12 and knew children are pretty dumbs, yeah, but couldn't resist.
According to the cops, in her testimony she said was "in love" with me, have a real attraction
It made sense when you thought about it.
I'm plagued with nearly constant urges and thoughts about killing other people. I slowly dismember any animal I come acrossed if I'm alone. I know it's wrong and I also know that the only reason I stoop to killing animals is because I'm too scared and too stupid to get away with killing people. I hate it so much whenever I'm in a relatively normal mood because once I start to think about killing something it's like a completely different person takes over and enjoys himself.
>>768901627
SK routine !
Go see a therapist ?
>>768900164
Can you post some drawings ?
>>768901996
SK routine?
Also I'm worried that a therapist would put me in a mental hospital and the thought of losing all my freedom, or worse losing my ability to think straight while drugged up terrifies me.
>>768902335
If you're in the US you might be fucked, but in civilized nations they focus on rehabilitation and attempting to actually get to you a medicaiton and therapy balance that allows you to safely function as an actual human being.
>>768894170
im a very lonely guy and recently in a rust server i asked a random if they could trade for some components and it turned out to be a girl. after getting the components i later went back and left a note in her mailbox saying thanks and aleft a few meds in her box. we have talked back and forth like 2 times by mailbox and every letter i keep on the top of my base in a small box. sometimes i think about adding her on steam or something but i dont want to seem like a creep because we havent even talked since we first met.
>>768902335
get a job at a slaughter house as a knocker aka the guy who kills the cows with a hammer.
>>768902480
just add her on steam. are you that afraid of adding someone on a gaming service?
>>768902626
yes i get very nervous even typing in games, the fact that i asked a random for help with my mic is like climbing a mountain for me
>>768902480
Shit bro, she clearly doesn't hate you otherwise she'd just stop writing to you via mailbox. Grab your sack out of your mothers purse and add her on steam. A friend is a friend, it shouldn't matter if it's man, woman or nothing.
>>768902335
SK = Serial Killer
Most of the SK, began by hurting animals in childhood and shit like that !
If you haven't done anything wrong yet, there's no reason to get locked up.
Maybe choose a psychoanalyst. They don't prescribe medication.
>>768902448
I am in the US which is why I'm worried. I'd rather suppress the feelings and try to live a normal ish life while killing frogs and shit; Than take the chance of becoming a pilltard in a white box of a room forever
>>768902775
That might work out for the better actually. Get down to the why and how I feel the way I do. No drugs etc, I'll look into it thanks.
>>768902498
I feel like acting on the urge just makes it worse and happen more often. I'd rather avoid the idea altogether.
>>768902480
It's not a secret, it's just a One-Itis ! You're Bob the AFC (or just a faggot as they name it here)
>>768902846
Yeah, that is a shitty situation bro. Be careful when you find somebody, don't tell them everything at the start until you're sure they won't have you placed under a pysch hold. They, at least doctors, have a requirement to act in the best interest of your safety and the safety of those at large.
You could consider joining the military. The consistent schedule and lack of control over your day-to-day may help.
>>768894170
My mother doesn't believe me when I say I'm a sociopath.
>>768898596
Males conquer, woman 'get conquered'.. See the difference?
>>768902749
the only thing is that if i add her she will see that i only have 2 other friends which would be embarrassing
>>768903101
>You could consider joining the military. The consistent schedule and lack of control over your day-to-day may help.
Yeah, propose to anon to have military training and to handle weapons
That sounds like a good idea !
>>768903224
So if you add her and it turns out she only has two friends you'd turn around and block her and stop talking to her? I get the angle you're coming from, social anxiety is remarkably crippling, but the worst case scenario is she doesn't accept your friend request and the best case scenario is that she accepts your friend request and you can see when she's online and playing rust and you can join a friend in some gaming. There won't be a worse worse case scenario because you two have clearly talked multiple times and it's really less weird than you think to add random people on steam. It's a social platform for gamers to connect while they play game.
>>768903500
Totally agree with this anon !
>>768903224
And dont freak out, you probably never meet her !
>>768903500
>>768903635
she accepted then sent me a steam message
>lol who are u?
"im from the **** server we were sending messages back and forth i figured its easier if i just add u"
she then removed me
>>768902480
oh dude, you're cute but not a secret ! How old are you ?
>>768904204
Good job /b/ro. You went outside your comfort zone and the world didn't burn down. Sure, it didn't work out as you hoped, but you did it and that's the important part. Next time it'll be easier.
>>768904204
You just got an insight into online relationships.
Next
>>768894170
Im staying with my sister for the summer and all her friends are really hot. The only problem is they're all lesbians.
So I told them I'm a trans man.
I've already fucked her best friend and told her it was a "strap on", told her not to tell my sister or she'd get awkward.
Good idea / Bad idea?
>>768904204
Better to send him a message where you precise "I add you on steam" but its ok. Good job
Better luck next time
I wrote a haiku for someone I'm crushing on.
>>768903216
yes i am a woman.
>>768905080
Naaa, you're a horse
>>768905269
Look at my horse, my horse is amazing.
Give it a lick it tastes just like raisins.
When I was 16 I met a guy named Liam through a thread just like this. I still think about him lol. I'm 20 now lmao
>>768905395
Did you dingle his dangle with your butthole?
>>768905321
Naaaa, your a broom
I have a crush on that guy who has a fetish for a reverse catholic church where only women get ordained and men serve them as nuns.
He has good taste in images. and sexuality.
>>768905467
I fucking wish.
That man was my everything lmao.
I'd give anything just to talk to him again.
Anything except maybe the courage of making first contact
>>768898524
You're probably a nigger.
>>768905709
Why'd you lose contact with him? Also, you man or grill (just for context. I ain't gonna demand tits.)
I actually am a robot.
>>768906075
Shit. And you got by the captcha's? I always knew humanity was doomed.
For 12 years now I've done part-time work for a funeral home making slideshow presentations for the families.. they don't pay much but the reason I keep doing it is that I have the director suggest the family drop off USB drives and SD cards with any files that can can be used. I like to run recovery on other peoples shit and get the occasional win.. some of which I've posted on /b
>>768897260
Regret it
>>768906191
repost here please
>>768905964
He went off to teach English in China and I mistakingly left my laptop at school his first few days and things pretty much fizzled out from there lmao
It's worth mentioning though that we'd skype for days while forgetting to eat and go to the bathroom and not even realize it. The point I'm trying to make is, he was something special lol
I've had to strip search some adolescent boys.
Humans already have resurrection technology.
If we want evidence of eternal life then we force appearance of humans already accessing eternal life technology. They will understand some of us survive to our resurrection technologies. If we also have an eternal life program, even primitive as only national cryonic program, by military mission and universal healthcare right, then all humans understand some of us survive to our resurrection technologies.
If we freeze our deceased then we are preserving our frozen deceased. If a human is frozen then a human does not rot. If they are not rotting then they are surviving. We will put our resurrection technologies to our deceased.
Humans, already accessing eternal life technology, respect us. They know we live forever: We are here.
Humans have video evidence of eternal life; having millions of mobile cell phones with millions of camera lenses.
Humans requested warrant to access other humans private property: videos of cell phone. The humans requested credit of responsibility to serve warrant by a, "patriot" act confirmed, "Aye" by congress, to fight a global war on terrorism. We should investigate for videos of resurrection: evidence presented at court and evidence surveyed while serving warrant.
If we witness eternal life technology then we understand everything is already enough evidence.
Humans already have technologies, and we have called our history, and herstory, as, "bible" . You, and everyone else and everything else, are all the proof you need: they are not sharing while sharing risks unalienable right of life.
We need national cryonics.
Hey can I talk about vaginas really quick?
So im taking a bath and my girlfriend comes home from the gym and wants to get in the bath with me.
I say "nah your vagina is like...dirty. i dont want vagina juice floating in my bath water thats touching my entire body or i'll smell like a vagina"
she says "bitch you already do smell liek a vagina" rubs her hand on her pussy and rubs it all over my face.
Anyways, im right right? Vaginas are gross. They're leaking liquid mucus goo. Penises don't leak.
>>768899549
Ding ding! Welcome to ketosis.
>>768908214
Vaginas are the best thing ever
>>768908417
so if you're taking a bath with your girlfriend, and she holds her vagina open, and says "aaaah it feels good to just flush out the insides" and you see all these tiny little like.. clumpy skin cell things floating out her pussy, you'd be like
"I love the vagina they're self cleaning hurr durr"
>>768908214
bruh tbh being human is gross in general. dicks can still be sweaty and stinky etc etc.
I think you have to accept that maybe your g/f and you have two different takes on personal hygiene level, and figure out who needs to adjust. It might be a small thing now but like... in time she's gonna want you eating sweaty pussy and pounding shitty asshole, because thats her comfort level. and i don't even wanna make this a whole thing but, when the relationship gets to a point where she doesnt feel satisfied because she wants a dirty fuck like her, some other dude is gonna eat her ass after taco bell and she is gonna feel VINDICATED which is even worse than regular cheating because she is gonna keep going after it and trying to hide it from you because its such a good feeling.
But what do i know...
what the fuck is with all these threads / comments about vaginas being gross, something in the water these days
>>768908524
and that something is my girlfriend's white clumpies.
>>768908501
if she wants to fuck someone smelly and cover each other with mustard for their disgusting food fetish unhygenic activities, rock on just leave me out of it
>>768908624
meh like i said, thats your personal comfort level, all good man i'm not here to judge. Just sometimes you're too close to the issue to look at it dispassionately, you know? Figured i'd make sure its all out there.
but for real though is she worth how different she is than you on that issue? have you considered finding a more... prudish girl?
>>768908782
Shrugs. dont really want to break up over her jumping in my bath.
she's fine every other way
>>768908932
rock on man. I'm a gross fucking pig so, is nice to speak from the other side.
Ok /b/ I'll admit it... I'm a white, cis male. I'm sorry!
>>768898278
faggot
>>768908932
Did you have intercourse together ?
You know when you rubbing each others naked flesh all sweaty, moisty ?
And didn't mention the germs and all STD...
It's not looking good for me health wise, and facing mortality head on has made me realize there's one thing that I truly want to do: impregnate my sister.
I just need to get off my chest, i've been married for 4 years, a year or so ago for a variety of blah blah reasons, i cheated with an ex. Ex and I have been unable to get over each other for 8 years, kept in contact the entire time, know each other well, etc etc.
It ended pretty bad, she walked away at first, then tried to keep talking to me for the attention, basically as a fallback. I was ready to leave my wife for her. I called her out on keeping me as a fallback and essentially being a complete piece of shit, and she basically ghosted me for... 3 months now i think?
I know i was right about everything i said - I have treated her like complete shit in the past, she has treated me like complete shit in the recent past. We're both just a fucking mess. But it feels like we were made for each other and the minute we start talking we fit right back into each other. I don't even know what i fucking want, I almost just wish i could stop feeling so perfect with her, even being mad at her i love her.
I dunno i guess i don't want answers or anything i just want to take a dump about how shitty the whole situation is. I've never before in my life just wished i didnt fucking exist so i didn't have to deal with how fucking stupid the entire situation is. I would give so much to just make it work the way it should, its been so long and so much....
>>768909586
your genetic disorder is caused by inbreeding, and your inbred child will inherit it as well.
>>768909551
shut up feminist. there's a difference between putting my dick in a vag and then washing up after, and my girlfriend holding her vagina open in the bath and seeing white shit flood out and her going "aaaaaah it feels SO good to flush all that out"
"self cleaning" is a fucking meme not a fact
>>768894170
>>768909690
There's no way I'll get to live out my greatest wish, so you can keep calm about that.
>>768909725
I'm not fenomanon, just pointed out you're a hygiene maniac.
>washing up AFTER
kek
>>768909991
Well if you're completely morally bankrupt, rape could be a viable option?
I mean, you're dying anyway, right!?
>>768910223
No, I actually like her. It's closer to realizing that my love for her goes a bit too far beyond brother sister and a want to physically realize that in a way that'll outlive me.
>>768909991
>>768910223
Oh and don't blame me there happens to be a hell for you to burn in for eternity after that shit!
I personally don't think so, but meh!
>>768910352
Then you're shit out of luck dude...
I like going on omegle and pretending to be women that I know. I share their pics and let sick men get off to my friends and it gives me a rush
>>768897535
Vinegeroon perhaps
>>768908214
your're gay. I eat out period pussy regularly
My parents divorced because my mom thought he was sleeping with somebody else since he didn't want to have sex with her nearly as often as he once did. He was sleeping with somebody else, me. Luckily he ended up with joint custody of me and, since he could only afford a one bedroom apartment at the time, would share the bed with me and we got to continue.
I think I love the girlfriend of my best friend
>>768899695
Your name Romeo?
Her name Juliet?
>>768897535
I’m schizophrenic and that was one of the symptoms .
>>768899695
Why can't you date them?
I secretly wish my bf was dead
>>768897535
Trying sucking dick and see if that tastes different.