>3:00am
>watching some based icarly like I usually do
>also playing minecraft xbox edition
>get distracted from building my poo poo pee pee themed city in creative mode by miranda cosgroves qtness
>pull out my weenie and start masturbating
>imagine what she looked like as a toddler while im doing this
>its too much for me
>realize before I finish that mommy said she is tired of cleaning up my semen from the carpet
>quickly grab one of my shit jugs and cum directly into it
>dont miss a drop
>mommy comes in at 3:01 like she usually does to clean up my mess
>"mommy look!" i exclaim while i lift the shit jug high
>she looks confused, but then notices what ive done
>"o-okay a-anon. thats a g-good boy." she says
>"what do I get mommy?" I ask while steping towards her
>"a-a good boy point a-anon" she says as she slowly starts to shake
>I run directly into her knocking her over to get through the door
>dont have time to put my weenie back into my undies
>arrive at the fridge panting because it is like a whole 30 feet away
>mom comes up limping with a tears on her cheeks
>she reaches to the top shelf of the fridge because Im only 5'2 and cant reach
>she gives me my tendies with mayonnaise just the way I like them
I stoped cumming in my shit jugs after that though. it was too much work lifting them up
Who is this thread for? People that read your retarded ass story and go “ok”? Get the fuck out of here you stupid ass faggot
>enjoying some pizza rolls while masturbating to iCarly
>bitch mom knocks and tells me to clean my room and get rid of my shit jug and start looking for a job
>start faking pain "Oww! I gots me a booboo!" While sneaking up behind the door
> when she comes in I knock her purse out of her hands and take a big fat shit in it
>"Now take me to Wendy's to get some tendies or I'll fucking kill myself."
> she complies, weeping
> we get there and they have Frozen toys
> I specifically ask for an Elsa toy so I can spunk on it and let it get crusty
> normie BITCH gave me a FUCKING OLAF fucking NORMALFAG I can't believe what my eyes are SEEING right now GODDAMMIT
>see little girl who has the Elsa
>"Trade?"
>she seems scared
> whatever I need it more than her so I rip it out of her hands
> she starts crying and her Chad looking father comes running after me
>"Mom, can you fucking hurry? I'm going to miss Yo Gabba Gabba you slut."
> we get in the car, mom seems on the verge of tears
>"You must realize this was your fault for having me. I don't owe you shit. Your sick pleasure fucking Chad' s dick to have me should be enough reward."
Normies just don't get it
>>768676146
It's for the triggered
>Wake up early its 4pm
>Dont smell tendies in the air.
>I waddle to my door around the piss bottles.
>Start slamming my head into the wall and screaming TENDIES TENDIES I WANT TENDIES
>Slut bitch Mommy slowly opens the door to my lair
>With tears in her eyes she slides in my tendies and juice-box.
>I tell her iCarly is on later so she better prepare the highest luxary goodboypoints can buy
>I make my way back to my bed exhausted from my journey across the room and back i rest
>my diaper seems almost full ill need a change before the big event later
>pondering what is going to happen in tonights episode i drift into slumber my little pony playing in the background
>I am awoken to mommy cleaning my piss jars up i tell her i need a diaper change aswell she nods with a look of disgust on her face
>Soon iCarly will be on the grand event
>The theme songs starts playing i scream at mommy to hurry or ill murder her and feed her to our dog buttersnout
>Mommy enters my room she is dressed in appropriate apperal plaid shorts converss sneekers and a hoodie her hair dyed the perfect shade of blonde.
>Now my Good boy favorite boy reward rivaled only by tendies and juice boxes begins
>I wait for a scene with sam in it my favorite iCarly character she is the best i then have mommy do her special service to me and pretend its sam
>i came five times tonight it was the best i finish by blowing on sams i mean mommy butt and tell that dirty slut to go make me SOME FUCKING TENDIES
>she starts walking away when a sight i never witnessed before appears before my eyes SAM IN A BIKINI JUST SHOWED ON AIR OMG
>With a speed of achilles i move like a lion and grab mommy before she makes it out of my lair
>I throw her on my computer desk and did adult things too her more then i ever thought i could
>when im finally finished mommy isnt moving
>iCarly is over i lay down and start watching adventure time
>covered in my special sauce mommy starts crying
>i tell her GO GET ME FUCKING TENDIES
Actually a good thread
>enjoying my yummy tummy tendies and masturbating to super princess peach
>typical monday night
>suddenly notice its almost 2:30 am
>icarly reruns at 2:30 am
>there is an astonishing lack of icarly and or tvs in my lair
>call my poopnosed mommy
>she doesn't come in
>wait for a patient 5 seconds minimum
>call again
>no answer, the bitch is still sleeping
>she has no idea who she's dealing with
>hit my head against the wall and start screaming
>i can see her wake up from acoss the hall
>threaten to kill myself again
>finally she comes in
>it's about time
>says some shit about bothering the whole apartment complex and how she has to go to work tomorrow
>doesn't realize i don't care
>tell her to get the tv in here
>"anon, you already have 3 tvs sweetie"
>"no mommy, i want the new tv in here"
>she sighs and tells me to get up and go to the living room myself if i want to watch it
>sheathe my katana
>politely explain that i have 1 tv for each show i watch and none of the tvs are made for icarly
>stupid cunt doesn't understand that watching another show on the wrong tv completes imbalance
>whore didn't learn that that's the reason why i set fire to the last apartment
>"fine, but only if you clean up your poopoo jugs while im gone"
>that fucking cunt telling me what to do
>while the bitch is gone empty the shit-jugs onto her bed as punishment
>come back
>she's still struggling to get the damn thing in here
>take another poopoo on the ground to pass the time and show her who's boss
>the staggering wench comes in here
>slips on the poopoo
>tv falls on her head
>she stops moving
>blood comes from behind
>dont care, tv's in my room
>plug it in
>realize ill have to watch the tv from top-down because stupid whore is trapped underneath
>dont care, it's pretty funny
>turn on tv.
>buzz-lightyear of star command comes on
>look at the clock
>it's 2:30 pm
>PM
>Take another shit on my mom for making me fuck up again
More! I love you and would drink cummies for this!
I will never eat another chicken tender.
>Be playing in my basement lair
>Smell tendies
>TENDIES.jpeg
>Mummy said not to come upstairs or I'd lose good boy points, but tendies are worth it
>Get out of my shit and cum stained chair
>Bring waifu pillow for a romantic dinner
>Go upstairs and see Mommy serving MY TENDIES to some random bitch
>Betrayal.png
>Random bitch sees me and yells "WHAT THE FUCK"
>She must not have been expecting that I would have come up, perhaps she didn't know I can smell tendies from anywhere
>Run at the random bitch with my 400lbs of pure beauty and smite her
>Her neck hits the chair and I hear a snapping sound
>Mommy screams, realizing that I killed someone just from my godly looks
>Turn to Mommy
>See the look of terror on her face
>"You gave away MY TENDIES"
>"Honey, please I can explain"
>NO FORGIVENESS
>Let out my battle cry and run at Mommy
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>She is trapped under my magnificent body
>Hear multiple snaps
>She isn't moving or breathing, likely because she knows her whore betrayer breath is not worthy of me
>Get up and proceed to start eating tendies
>Mommy hasn't started moving again, but that's because she knows she did a bad and is in timeout
>4 am
>happy tummy full of tendies
>be right in the middle of my 5 nights at freddy's session
>suddenly my pee pee feels funny and tickles from the inside
>"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYY"
>she doesn't respond, she's been eating a lot of sleep-candies since when second daddy left (she promised she'll share with me soon enough yay! )
>i'm forced to waddle out of my 80 GBP gaming chair and go in her room while screaming "PEEEEEE PPEEEEEEEEEEEE FIZZY MUMMY HELP BABYYY GUU"
>the stress of this causes my belly to relax and I let out a steaming brown tendy-log in my XXL diapey - i'm mummys big baby boy, she always says that :)
>i plop down in her bed while she looks at me in horror and disgust
>"mummy my pee pee feels tickly, need pee pee funny dance"
> tears are falling on her cheeks, she closes her eyes and starts taking my diaper off
>the smell of fresh tendy-log and 2 days old diarrhea smeared on my hairy asscheeks makes her gag
> i let out a teehee while saying "mummy belly burp!"
>then, while sobbing, she grabs my pee pee stick and starts going up and down
>my smegma crusted foreskin hardly retreats while tear drops fall on my belly
>i let out my funny-happy milk on her hand "OOHUUHHHHHHU PEE PEE IS GLAD, I MADE IT FOR MUMMYY"
> "you're my special little baby boy, thank you for your gift to mommy" says her, while becoming red in face from happiness
>mummy grabs orange bottle from nightstand and rewards herself extra-helping of sleep candies, hehee she deserves it!
> i leave her room and the diaper on her bed and go back to my gaming session
> the next day she's still tired and sleeping on her bed
i wonder when she'll wake up, maybe she's preparing a surprise for babby boy gu? so many tendies and GBP await me for not waking her up!!
> Be healthy 380 pound baby with a loving mommy
> wake up right on time at 5:25pm after a night of intense gaming on garys mod
> Go out with mummy to buy the minecraft sword I was promised, to defend against normies
> Arrive at Gamestop, mom makes GBP transaction with the wagey behind the counter
> Feel instant rush of anger when I finally get the sword, because I need to show I'm superior to dumb wagecucks
> I hit the wagey with it, as hard as my big boned muscles will allow me to
> "Anon! WHY!?"
> "DUMB WAGESLAVE MADE ME CAVE! LET ME GIVE HIM A BOO BOO OR I DO A POO POO!" I wittily reply
> "ANON! 200GBP GONE MISTER"
> This dumb bitch thinks she can get away with this, I warned her
> "REEEEEEE" I scream, as I pull down the shelves in the store to block off mommy
> Rip down my diaper, the stench immediately causes the other customers in the store to vomit
> Put my brand new awesome sword between my bum bum cheeks, pointing it behind me
> Start fiercely grinding on the sword, the mere sight causes all the normies in the store to get shocked from amazement
> Can feel the individual pixel changing as I do move it
> Sword is now covered in my healthy, thick blood
> Pee on the sword for good measure
> I am now the master of all the elements, blood, pee pee and poo poo
> "GIVE ME TENDIES NOW MUM"
> Start hitting everyone in the store with the amalgamated weapon
> Everyone flees
> Start rolling around in the aftermath
> Pass out, because I was hungry
> Wake up in bed with tendies
> gobble them up and waddle to living room
> mommy happily swinging on a rope by her neck
> doesn't even poke me with the ouchie-medicine like she does everyday
> Decisive victory
>>768676146
Its like theres nobody left who understands these anymore.
Just newfucks everywhere
>Midnight on a Tuesday
>trying to finish my minecraft house made of obsidian in survival
>power blinks so the console goes off
>no
>NO
>SCREAM at the top of my lungs
>brother comes out of his room as I stomp out into hall wearing boxers and a skimask
>”Dude, come on mom needs sleep and I have wo-“
>swing my favorate glass piss jug that was full of eeky wine alcohols
>REEEEEE as it connects with his head
>shatters and silences him
>scream LOUDER at loss of juggy
>that WHORE BITCH mom come out
>”What is-ANON! What have you done to Chad?!”
>crying she leans over him
>peeing myself I dont answer and sprint to the kitchen
>rip door off freezer
>stuff all the frozen tendy bags in a flower sack
>walk out door of house and decide I need to leave
>maybe become batman and fight crime
>I walk out in boxers, skimasky, flower bag of tendies to sirens
>”HANDS ON YOUR HEAD!”
Continue?
>>768679464
continue!
>>768679464
>scared at the large black man wanting my hands I whimper “Y-ou to”
>sprint into back yard and hope fence into Morgan’s house
>naturally he is on back porch drinking eek natural light, not yummy caprison
>”Anon, wuts going on?”
>shit myself to explain normie uprising, broken glass, black guy wanting hands, how to jerk with no hands scaring me
>he stops me with a hug
>smells like tobacco, only he gets me
>”Nigros broke in yer house and tryin tah take over, gud DAMN it!”
>hands me a handgun with a magazine longer than my arm
>”Know how to use it?” Work it like /k taught me and REEEEEEE loudly
>hear cops are pulling into his front as Morgan stuffs 3 handguns into overall pockets
Mure?
>>768680055
don't stop
What the fuck am I reading?
>Wake up at 8 PM after my nappy-wappy
>Remembered I've been a really good boy today
>Go to check my Good Boy Point (GBP) whiteboard
>30 GBP
>Enough to go in the playroom AND get a tendie meal with ranch dipping sauce
>Wade through my piss bottles and shit jugs to get to my door
>Waddle over to mummy's room
>"Mummy! Mummy! I've been a good boy and I want to go to the pwaywoom!"
>Mummy checks my chart and leads me to the playroom
>As she unlocks the playroom, she tells me that she'll get my tendies ready
>I quickly remind her, "Don't fowget the wanch!!"
>rush into the playroom and fall over headfirst onto the racecar mat.
>begin playing with my blocks
>One hour later
>Door opens and she has my tendies, except...
>No ranch dip
>"BITCH! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MY TENDIES. I NEED RANCH DIPPING SAUCE TO FULLY ENJOY MY TENDIES."
>"y-you never asks for ranch, sweetums..."
>"WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR NUMBER ONE BOY!?!?"
>"WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL MOM!?"
>"d-don't worry Anon, I'll go right back down to get your ranch..."
>Throw one of my blocks at her and it hits her straight in the eye
>That's gonna leave a bruise.
>"SERVES YOU RIGHT, NORMIE BITCH! NOW GO BACK DOWN AND MAKE ME SOME MORE TENDIES!"
>Lean in close to her ear
>Shout "AND DON'T FORGET THE RANCH."
>She leaves crying
>Notice I made some wawa in my nappy.
>Mum comes back and changes me while I enjoy my ranch-dipped tendies
>She's still crying
>mfw i free tendies & gbp next week all week cause momma's big boy turns 30
>>768676146
You've been here a whole of three days, right? And know nothing of popular /b/ subjects, themes, et cetera.
>>768679405
This. And honestly I don't understand it. It's like a bunch of hip-libs all spontaneously decided /b/ on 4chan was the new cool place to be even though they've never been here before, and don't understand it's not the dipshit forum they've hung out on before.
>>768680055
>Morgan yells racial slurs at the cops trying to talk us into coming out peaceful
>”CROP COONS”
>”URBAN PROBLEMS”
>“DARKIES”
>complement how based he is as we pile sand bags and he yells
>”You try Anon!” As they plead for this to end peacefully
> yell “NIGGERS? IMPLYING PEACE?”
>drunk off his ass he slaps my over wieght back and stabs my arm
>REEEEEEEEE
>try to slap him or something scared
>”BOY! Settle down, its speed!”
>injects himself
>suddenly I feel like I could rape ever Chad alive with a gun a tub of butter
>” this is like Nam, we kill em, we git ther women”
>my dick is hards as steel at the idea of a waifu harem
> the swat races around the sides of the house
>6pm
>wake up on keyboard
>must have slept late after wow rp fun all night
>MOMMMMMMMM I NEED MY JUICE
>didnt hear a response instantly
>throw empty mountain dew bottle at door
>MOMMMMM MY JUICE, YOU KNOW I CANT START WITHOUT MY JUICE
>Cant miss new episode of Rick &Morty
>look out window to see stacy nextdoor checking the mail
>almost have a heart attack from running to the window 5 ft away
>I try and poke my head from the side so she wont cacth me checking her out
>o no shes looking right at me
>quickly stretch to play it off
>find dorito under my titty flap
>eat it
>stacy sees and takes off running back inside
>"what anon why are you yelling"
>she comes in with new 3liter mountain dew already knowing my routine
>o thank you mommy
>why does stacy run off like that everytime she sees me mommy?
>"maybe shes not ready to be with a lvl 726 elf yet."
>i think your right mommy o well
>well its time for me to go to work honey I left some chicky tendies in the hot box for you, would you like me to change your dirtly little diapy to baby?
>o mommy your the best
>>768676045
>Ben Shapiro.png
lol
>>768681143
>letsdothis.gif
>Morgan lets out a hollar and unloads with his AR15 covered with accesaries
>I REE and off the fuckers like I always imagined doing at school
>helicopter overhead
>grab the old semi uzi and finger fuck that bitch into the skyfaggot
>on fire it spins and crashs
>kills 3 swat and block right side of house
>Morgan is unloading into them and I dual pistol and uzi
>he LITERALL yells slurs as he kills them
>”STATISTIC!”
>”COTTON PICKER!”
>sitting in room
>finish plate of tendies mummy made just for me
>hmm, I want some more!
>decide to play a prank on mummy (might cost some gbp, but fun is fun)
>rig one of my pee pee bottles to pour on whoever opens my door
>position my wittle bottom towards the door as well and pull down my diaper
>bang my steel drum to get her attention (at 30 gbp I simply had to!)
>MUMMY MUMMY, I WAS HUNGRY, NOW I'M FULL SO RUB MY TUMMY!
>Hear mummy coming
>A grin grows across my face as she draws near, my eyes crinkle and a "teehee!" slips out
>Mummy enters the room
>my pee pee pours in a steady stream on her head
>At the same time I begin blasting her with my nasty poo poo, coating her in a thick baby waby green layer!
>heehee! messy mummy messy mummy I say rhymically as she is covered in my nasty
>She doesn't say a word as my prank plays out
>finish my poo, turn and sit bare bottomed on the floor, leaving a wittle poopy stain
>mummy, did you wike my joke? ga ga goo goo!
>I begin giggling and drooling while slapping my wittle feetsies together as applause
>She does say anything
>Mummy, waugh at my wittle joke!
>I can see tears running through my pee pee and poo poo on her face
>Mummy, you don't want to upset your perfect wittle boy do you?
>She is still fighting
>My eyes sharpen and I drop my voice do a gravely, gutteral tone
>Listen you normie cunt, laugh at your sons prank or I'll kill you and kill myself, I'll drag you into the bath and slit your wrists while I fuck your fat whore ass
>Punch her in the face for good measure, hard enough to leave a black eye
>Mummy sees reason and lets out a chuckle
>heehee! I think that deserves 20 gbp for being such a funny and creative prank, don't you mummy!?
>She does a sort of weird nod and walks out of my playpen
Good Boy Points is too easy to get, even when being a naughty boy! She even took me out for more tendies that day, at no cost!
>>768681808
>”NIGG-AH” he falls, hit in the shoulder
>”Boy, git outa here, Im out of the fight but gunna take em with me”
>erection standing out mumble softly and prop him up
>”Ill cover you, run”
>boxers full of urine I sprint and hop fence as he sets off 66 lb of homemade explosive in his house
>godspeedyoumarvalousefaggot.jpeg
>run into house and mom is still there on floor
>kill the suprised, lone officer and she screams
>put a bullet in handgun
>glare at her
>leave and her her off herself
>I walk into the night cover in blood, piss, cum, and shit
>nothing but boxers, skimask, uzi, and thawing tendies
> this is how I became thebatman
>be me
>Mummy's perfect little 22 year old
>Daddy passed away a few months ago from a hurt chest after yelling at me to get a job
>before he died he put a little me inside Mummy's tummy
>Mummy starts talking about how nice itll be to have a baby around again
>"But aren't I the baby?"
>"Anon, you know I'm going to need help raising the baby, you're going to be a big brother and that means responsibility."
>i get mad and tell the whore that I'm not going to share her with that thing inside her
>"Anon, its time to grow up."
>Mummy gets fat and starts asking me to do shit around the house
>changing my own diaper, answering the door, whatever
>"Anon, could you throw some chicken tenders in the oven for me and get me a prenatal vitamin shake, I've got a craving!"
>TOO
>FUCKING
>FAR
>go upstairs to Mummy's room and grab her nail polish remover off the nightstand
>go downstairs and pour it into stupid fucking healthy-baby drink
>grab her cunt-face
>"Open wide!"
>Mummy chokes down nasty smelling smoothie and starts to scream and cry
>I keep telling her itll be better this way but she wont stop trying to hit me
>shake all gone so I decide to head back to my room for a nap
>she can make up for everything shes done when I wake up
>Mummy calls 911 screaming about bleeding from her piss-flappy downstairs parts
>I stomp on her phone and tell the bitch that if she calls them again I'll put rat poison in the next smoothie
>Mummy lays on floor for a few hours before she drives herself to the hospital after I fall asleep
>Mummy disobeyed me but baby is gone now
>all is well
>be me
>be 23
>mummy's special little guy
>at mcdonald's getting chicken tendies with my saved up good boy points
>very long line
>get near the front
>need to go pee pee poo poo
>"MUMMY MUMMY I NEED TO GO PEE PEE POO POO NOW NOW NOW"
>mummy looks embarrassed
>says new daddy won't be happy about this
>takes me to little boys room
>I get into stall and begin my poo poo dance
>accidentally miss toilet
>hear something in other stall
>look over
>A man has pee pee mayo like daddy's all over his hand
>he notices me
>"WHAT THE FUCK YOU LITTLE AUTISTIC SHIT"
>mummy runs into little boys room
>takes me into little girls room
>all the girlies go shrieky
>mama watches me go pee pee poo poo
>get back in line
>finally at front
>"I WANT CHICKEN TENDIES WITH A MINECRAFT TOY"
>mummy hits me
>"we will take an order of chicken tenders to go"
>"BUT MUMMY I WANT TO GO ON THE PLAY PLACE"
>she gives in
>set down at play place
>devour my tendies in one swoop
>"MUMMY MUMMY WHERE IS MY MINECRAFT TOY?"
>she quickly leaves to get me my minecraft toy
>see play place
>waddle over to slide
>begin to climb up play place slide
>somebody comes down the slide knocking us both on the floor
>tendie-rage engaged
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>smash kids head against window
>window breaks
>he is crying
>jump on him and sit on his face
>hear a snap
>he goes to sleep
>mummy runs back in with my minecraft toy
>mummy grabs my wrist and rushes me to the car
>"why anon, why?"
>says we have to 'go on the run' and leave home forever
>mfw
My will to live has been throughly extinguished after reading this thread.
>>768676146
kill yourself summerfag
>wake up at 2pm
>30 year old NEET
>had accident in sleep which I rolled around in
>grab cum-towel off nightstand and do my best wipe mess from my folds of fat
>tummy gurgles loudly, so hungry
>plop out of bed, navigate through shit jugs and piss bottles in my room
>waddle downstairs to check GBP board
>wait a minute to catch my breath before I look
>just enough Good Boy Points for some tendies and sauce!
>legs buckle under own weight
>roll myself into the living room where mummy is watching her favorite soap opera
>"mummy mummy I have enough Good Boy Points for some tendies!"
>she turns to me with the most disgusting look on her face while I lay flat on the ground stuggling to get up
>"s-sure honey, le-let me just get some tendies for you"
>she walks to the kitchen trying hard not to vomit from the smell and sight of my obese, putrid, feces and semen covered body
>she pulls the tendies out of the freezer after letting the oven heat up as she begins to cry into the sink
>I roll over and pull myself up to my high chair that starts to creak as I sit down
>have my crayons and Power Rangers coloring book to occupy me while I wait
>colored most of it so I start drawing doodles outside the lines
>the tendies are finally done and she puts them on my plate
>she can't hold back the vomit as I open my mouth to eat some tendies and vomits all over my plate
>I can't let these tendies go to waste, so I eat them along with the vomit
>"yummy wummy tendies in my tummy, thanks mummy"
>do my best to muster a smile but the rows of decaying teeth only disgust mummy further
>high-chair finally breaks from my heft
>causes me to have another accident
>mum runs away to her room, sobbing uncontrollably, so ashamed of her baby boy
>I just sit there on floor, in my own filth, thinking about what a disappointment I am
>mfw
>Wake up at 4pm
>Hear talking downstairs
>Start yelling I NEED MY BIG BOY SLEEP
>Waddle over to the door, knock poo-poo jar over
>*whoops, guess mommy has some work to do* I knock over another just for good measure.
>Waddle down the stairs to living room. Mommy is talking to a lady in a business suit about "coverage"
>I NEED MY BIGBOY SLEEP
>Mommy looks in my direction and apologizes to the lady.
>Notice that lady has really pretty hair
>Mommy tells me to go upstairs
>Lady has really really pretty hair
>My pee-pee goes hardy-wardy
>The diaper pops off from the force of my pee-pee, leaving me naked except for my Fluttershy t-shirt
>"Mommy is this the girlie-friendie I asked for?"
>I can't believe that fucking bitch finally did something right.
>Mommy looks really emberassed and tells me to go upstairs. The lady is really scared.
>Start waddling over to the lady.
>She recoils back in horror.
>Keep waddling over.
>I slip on the diaper around my ankles and fall to the ground.
>I do a big poo poo and begin crying on the ground, but my pee-pee is still hardy-wardy at my new girlie-friendie, so I keep crawling towards her
>The lady turns around and runs out the door
>Mommy has tears in her eyes, tries to lift me off the ground
>"Mommy, was she my girlie-friendie you got me?"
>She brushes the tears off her face and nods
>"Yes dear, s-she's just embarrassed. She's never seen a boy as handsome as you before!" She says as she wipes away another tear.
>I smile, proud of how handsome I am
>Mommy tells me that maybe if I earn enough good boy points, she will get me another girlie
>She pulls me up the stairs and starts cleaning the floor
>Uh-oh, my pee-pee is still hard
>I get out of my bed and walk up behind mommy
>Tell her she can be my girlie-friendie too
>She looks kind of disgusted for some reason, says mommy can't do that
>I start yelling REEEEEEEE as I rip off my diapers and shove my pee-pee at her face
>She sucks my weenie-peenie to make me stop yelling
Good day today.
Autistc but underrated thread
I hadn't read it all but is this in a timeline or is it just random?
>>768686093
Why is this hot? Why do I have an erection? Keep with this one please?
>>768680484
Fuck off. This is what makes 4chan fun, different and interesting. No, you'll whine and want a watered down 4chan instead.
>me
>Mommy's Roly Poly Baby Booby-boo
>Playing Warframe
>2 days to finish Mag Prime
>lolno
>Go to rush. No platinum
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Bellow for mommy to bring her credit card
>No mommy.
>THIS SHALL NOT STAND!
>Heft self out of limited edition DXRacer gaming chair, farting to propel myself upwards
> Waddle from room, kicking over poopy bottle in the process. Oh well, mess for mommy to clean!
>Glance at GBP calendar
>600 Good Boy Points
>Stop to make out with hot waifu on calendar to celebrate
>She wants the D
>Go downstairs
"MOMMY BRING THE CREDIT CARD! YOUR BABY WANTS TO OWN SCRUBS HARD!"
>Mommy and new daddy Chad on couch.
>Mommy's crusty roast beef is eating new daddy's fist!
>New Daddy deserves it... Or is he trying to crawl up mommy and become the new baby?!
>ENGAGE REEEEEEEEEEE
>Fall down stairs, wallow my way to the bottom
>Piss and shit everywhere
>Vomit to lubricate my path, a glorious penguin in motion
>Slide across floor, slam into couch
>New daddy Chad screams, yanks fist out of mommy's vagina
"BABY KNOWS THE GAME YOU PLAY, MAMA'S FAVORITE HE WILL STAY!"
>New Daddy tries to kick me, slips on puke puddle
>Hits head on coffee table, goes to sleep
>Heft myself up, punch mommy in crusty cooter
"CREDIT CARD!"
Mommy cried tears of joy, and I pooped on New Daddy to show I'm the favorite. Life is good, /b/.
>>768676146
is Tendies, tendies on my plate
Never early, never late
At twelve o'clock its lunchie time
And mommy serves them on a dime
Mommy cooks them in the oven
To show me extra special lovin
Add honey mustard sauce to this
To send me into tendie bliss
Good Boy Points are thus required
To get the tendies I desire
And if I wish to go to Wendy's
I must turn in points to get my tendies
I turn in points that I've compiled
From huggies, kissies, and not running wild
"What a good boy you've been today
Let's go to Wendy's so that I may repay"
"But you've been eating way too much chicken
You're getting a burger, no screamin or kickin"
This makes me mad, this makes me bitter
This makes me unleash the contents of my shitter
I stuff it in her mouth and punch her in the head
Until I am sure my dear mommy is dead
I steal her purse so that I can have money
To buy tendies and mustard with honey
I purchase the tendies from the nice lady
(Although these tendies are nuggies, which I find quite lazy)
And as I devour my fried chicken treats
I realize that life has never been so sweet
>>768687506
Ok, the vomit slide was AAA, you are amazimg!
>be a 27 year old NEET
>wake up at 6PM and roll out of my racecar bed
>piss jugs are all full, have to use the toilet like some subhuman normie
>waddle downstairs to find mummy for my wakey-wakey tendies and bakey
>lights off, nobody there
>there is a note on the refrigerator
>"Pumpkin, your new daddy Leroy and I have gone to the movies for the afternoon I made some of your favorite chicken tenders, just heat them up in the microwave if you get hungry for num-nums. Love you, Mom"
>fucking cunt has let my tendies get cold and mushy
>and she expects me to heat them up myself like a slave
>she will fucking learn today
>change out of my cloth diaper into a disposable one and hit the road
>spend the entire walk to the cinema filling my diapey with poo poo
>arrive at the theater parking lot and coat myself in a thin layer of pee pee and poo
>brace myself and enter the lobby
>let loose my battle cry
>RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>"MY PRECIOUS TENDIES HAVE GONE TO WASTE, NOW MY POOPY YOU SHALL TASTE"
>pull handfuls of poop out of my diaper and fling them at random
>staff tries to stop me but I am too quick and too slippery
>entire venue is being evacuated
>navigate my way to normie Shitvengers
>mummy and new daddy are in the back row
>covered in poo and pee, two steaming loads in each hand
>mummy's face is a mixture of shock and indescribable terror
>walk slowly towards her while chanting "...tendies...tendies...tendies..."
>our eyes are locked
>as if from far away I hear new daddy say "ayo wut tha fuck this nigga-"
>cease my low chanting with a final "TENDIEEEEES" and smash the handfuls of rancid diarrhea onto either side of her head
>bring my piss-soaked face right up to hers
>her ears are filled with my poo, eardrums are ruptured, and eyes are nearly blinded by a mixture of tears and more poo
>say very slowly and clearly
>"Don't you ever fuck with my chicky tendies again"
And the best part is the dumb whore was too scared to even take away any of my good boy points
>>768687840
>5:45 PM
>Wake up from a particularly intense visit to tumblrs paw-fetish tag
>Even managed to stretch over my belly and reach my peepee long enough to cum with out mummys help
>Awake now, I feel the need for about 50 tendies and an extra large glass of chokie pudding to wash it down
>Press the intercom I had mommy install for my birthday last year
>"TENDIES TENDIES AND CHOKIE PUDDY!"
>If this cunt is too stupid to decipher THAT, then she's beyond all fucking help
>Mommy sprints up the stairs 20 minutes later with 2 50 piece nuggets from mcdonalds and a large jug of puddy
>Nuggets
>"Do it again or I'll fucking kill myself and light the house on fire right before I pull the fucking trigger."
>"Wha- Oh right! Tendies, not nuggies! I'm so so sorry honey..."
>"Honey'
>Fucking HONEY
>Mommy knows I like to be called her sweetpea
>Roll out of bed and lunge at her, the poopoo from last weeks Poofap party in hand
>Smash it into her fucking face as hard as I can while screaming "POOPOO POISON PAWNCH!!!"
>Mommy falls backwards into the radiator, but this has happened so many times her skull is calloused enough to tank the shot, she scrambles to her feet and rushes back to the car
>By the time she returns, I've eaten all the nuggies and puddy
>She has the 50 tendies
>But no new puddy
Guys, I try to be understanding but this is borderline child neglect. How do I show her that this is unacceptable? It's obvious my gentle reminders won't be as effective now that her skull doesn't crack on the radiator anymore.
I have never had tendies once in my entire life. Are they any good or are they just a meme?
>be me, a healthy, handsome, bouncy 31 year old baby boy
>come downstairs from an exhausting day of playing video games and consuming anime
>waifu really proud of me for coming in second in a game of PUBG and winning 8 of my 13 league of legends games
>tell mummy of my conquests, ask for some tendies
>she's tired and makes a small quip about her breast cancer
>remind mummy that her breast cancer isn't going to kill her
>she gives me a look
>remind the confused and bewildered female that I asked for tendies, chop chop
>"Anon, I have to get ready for work. I showed you how to make them yesterday."
>have no recollection of such events, politely inform her she's lying
>"That's ENOUGH. Go to your room."
>[ettv]wrong.move.bitch.S01E01.mkv
>assert my girth and alpha male dominance
>push mummy to the floor and choke her
>on the side of her neck mind you, as to not crush her windpipe. women love being choked, thanks redpill
>she lies on the floor and takes it like the submissive female she is
>after a few minutes stop and politely remind her I don't ask the same question twice
>she doesn't respond
>typical stacy
>return to my humble aboad upstairs as she starts flopping around and foaming at the mouth like a bitch in heat
>I've seen enough anime to know she's having an orgasm
>smirk realizing that I'm good looking enough to give even my own mom an orgasm without sexual penetration
That being said, my fellow /b/ros, how do I break the news that I'm not sexually attracted to her when I go back downstairs tomorrow? I know she has an Oedipus complex, but I don't. Should I leverage this into more good boy points?
>>768688477
Obviously, you need to go further. Get her to take you to the local MLP convention and then get others to help. Tie her up, get all the beat her, then get her to drive you home. Explain everything on the way back. Wendies on the way of course.
>>768689021
You are missing out.
>wake up to my room of piss jugs and shit bottles
>first thing I do in the morning is check my gbp
>saved up enough good boy points to buy a steam card
>crawl out of my teen titans go blanket (I got it from Santa instead of coal for being a good boy)
>rip off page of my gbp chart and hobble downstairs
>mummy cooking me a breakfast of tendies
>"mummy mummy! I saved up enough good boy points to get a steam card!"
>"let me see that my special little boy. You've been so good these past few weeks! Here are your chicken tenders."
>fucking normie cunt, who calls them chicken tenders
>eat my mountain of tendies then get into the car
>mummy starts to drive
>suddenly get motion sick
>"mummy I don't feel very good"
>puke all over the back of her car, tendie chunks everywhere
>oh my god! -10 gbp. We are going back to the house now
>what the fuck you stupid bitch I was good all month for that steam card
>was going to buy Sakura Angels with it
>get back to the house
>enact plan of revenge
>mummy goes to sleep
>pick up shit jugs with caution, pull out mummy's space heater and place the shit jugs with it next to her bed
>20 min later
>shit bottles explode
>hot poop splatters everywhere
>mummy gets plastic shard in her eye
>has to go to the hospital
>doctor said its infected and has to be removed
>mummy now looks like nick fury
fucking normie bitch that's what you get for taking away my gbp
>>768689460
Any way to get them in europe? I have never seen them in stores at all, and I have been around.
>>768689666
You will be done Satan, what country? Do you have internet? Can I become a spawn of hell?
>>768690046
Sweden. And I try to keep the satanic rituals to a minimum, they have a tendency to leave stains on the walls.
>Be hanging out with my daki (Mikiru is best waifu)
>Mommy comes in and asks me if I want to go to Friendlys for a platter of tendies and some icy creamy
>Clap excitedly and rush to the car with Mikiru
>Sit in backseat with her, mommy gets to car and starts driving us to Friendlys
>Mikiru gets frisky and starts eyeing up my crotch
>Decide to give her a show
>Pull out my cock and start tugging it around
>Mikiru looks at it hungrily, cum on her face in a matter of seconds and scream
>Hear mommy sigh from front seat and mutter that she made a mistake
>Tell her it's okay,I love mommy and I can get her her OWN Daki
>She sighs, obviously with relief
>We get to friendlys, get out with mikiru and we order three plates of tendies and frenchies, thinking about what kind of Icy Creamy I'll get
>Mommy orders a glass water and some toast
>Asks for three slices instead of two
>Warn her not to go over board or new Chad Daddy might not like her flab flab
>Shes so grateful for my advice that her eyes start to water
>Me and Mikiru finish our tendies and mommy makes a comment about me not throwing stones
>She KNOWS I'm sensitive about my beautiful curves
>I control myself, but Mikiru is in love with me
>She lunges forward and attacks mommy for disrespecting her hubby
>Waitress comes over and grabs me
>Why grab me? Mikiru is the one hurting mommy!
>Realize... the waitress is in love with me too
>Lunge forward and start making out with her, Mikiru stops attacking mommy for some reason
>Waitress pushes me away, I knew I should have stuck with Mikiru
>Shit pants and start crying
>everyone in restaurant staring at us
>Manager man comes and says we have to leave
>Never got my icy creamy
>REEEEEEEEEEEE
>Go home with mommy, she's apologizing for ruining my night out
>Tell her that after TONIGHT, only a threeway with mikiru will make up for what she did
>Mommy starts sobbing tears of joy knowing that she can do something to make me forgive her
>mfw
>>768690135
Honestly, you might be better off making your own, shipping them would be a pain or they would spoil Satan. Im sure your dark powers can conjure breast of cock instructions of cooking. Just need breasts, batter, seasoning for batter, fryer or oven, boom a dark meal for the end if the world.
>>768690593
Well, guess I'm inviting the Dark One himself into my home come saturday. Are they any good as drankin' food or should they be eaten sober?
I need to know, what are tendies???
>>768690183
Mure
>>768690922
Dubs demands more!!!
>>768690960
This
>>768690697
Sober, drunk, depressed, naked, happy, holiday, snack, dinner, its litterally the end all food here for the lazy, stupid, or just munchy.Kinda rediculious but can be ok and homemade is always better.
>Be my birthday
>Mama got me the Littlest Pet Shop cake I wanted
>Get a card from grammy
>"Enjoy your birthday, sorry I couldn't be there sweety, I hope you can use this"
>A lot of weird green paper in there
>Mamas eyes get big
>Ask her what these are
>"It's money, I use it to buy your chicken and videogames"
>"Can I trade it for good boy points?"
>"Yes you can, of course you can"
>then new daddy walks into the room
>smells like smoke and adult apple juice
>slaps mamas butt
>sees the money
>"I need this for the poker game tonight"
>Mama says no, I traded it with her
>He slaps her faces butt now
>Mama screams
>I'm sitting there eating my cake
>Ask her when dinner is ready
>She says I gotta help her
>This FUCKING NORMIE
>ASKS ME
>TO HELP HER
>ON MY OWN BIRTHDAY
>take off all my clothes and jump on the table
>Press my willy in the cake and run to mama screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms
>hit mama in the belly
>hear a loud oomf
>new daddy looks at me
>I look at him
>I get down on my knees and grab his crotch
>he goes back and asks me what I'm doing
>I just wanted to show him I can be mama too
>Run at him and bite him in his crotch
>even though he wore pants he dropped to the ground crying
>now everyone was crying
>my diaper has been full the whole time
>put some cake in diaper since mama isnt changing it and feed it to new daddy
>new daddy never came back after the poker game
>mama made me fresh chicken tendies with a side of pizza that night
>she didn't even charge my good boy points
>best 40th birthday ever
>>768691139
No reason not to try it, then
>>768687769
Gimme gimme chicken tendies,
Be they crispy or from Wendys.
Spend my hard-earned good-boy points,
on Kid's Meal ball pit burger joints.
Mummy lifts me to the car,
To find me tendies near and far.
Enjoy my tasty tendie treats,
in comfy big boy booster seats.
McDonald's, Hardee's, Popeye's, Cane's,
But of my tendies none remains.
She tries to make me take a nappy,
But sleeping doesn't make me happy.
Tendies are the only food,
That puts me in the napping mood.
I'll scream and shout and make a fuss,
I'll scratch, I'll bite, I'll even cuss!
Tendies are my heart's desire,
Fueled by raging, hungry fire.
Mummy sobs and wails and cries,
But tears aren't tendies, nugs or fries.
My good-boy points were fairly earned,
To buy the tendies that I've yearned.
But there's no tendies on my plate!
Did mummy think that I'd just ate?
"TENDIES TENDIES GET THEM NOW,
YOU FAT, UNGRATEFUL, SLUGGISH SOW!"
I screech while hurling into her eyes,
My foul-smell bowel-dwelling diaper surprise.
For she who is un-pooped on is she who remembers:
Never forget my chicken tenders.
>be at Burger King
>they have $1.49 for 10 nuggets deal
>this means I can order more nuggies!
>time to load up
>decide to get 200
>make ma-ma do the conversion from USD to GBP
>only 60 Good Boy Points for 200 nugnugs!
>I clean out their nuggie saucies (costs 0 GBP so I order extra, 1 sauce packet per 2 nuggies)
>my table looks like the famous Scarface scene but with nuggies instead of cocaine
>scarf down my nuggers n' sauce while ma-ma plays Candy Crush on her phone (shitty pleb game)
>mum tells me to slow down else I get a tum-tum ache
>stupid bitch thinks she can tell me what to do
>later that night I wake up with a big hurty poo
>rush-waddle to bathroom
>trip and fall before I reach toilet
>laying on the bathroom floor crying my eyes out and pooping all over the floor
>1 hour later i clean myself up in the toilet bowl and wake up mommy to clean my poopies
>didn't get my 50 GBP for sleeping through the night
>lose the 30 daily GBP bonus I get for keeping my poo-poos in the toilet
>can't go to sleep now
>do peepee fun rubby-squirty on the Baby Bop pages of my Barney and Friends picture book
>miss the pages and and get pee-pee mayonnaise all over my bedsheets
>mums get upset when she sees the stains and takes away the rest of my GBP
And that's why you never choose nuggies over tendies
>>768691219
https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/patrick-and-gina-neely/tonys-chicken-tenders-with-honey-mustard-sauce-recipe-1951195
https://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/oven-fried-chicken-tenders/46a69e4d-4c31-485b-9d43-67d40b353f2e
The oven back store shit can taste bad to good, home made or a gormet(lol) restuarant makes the best
This is gold
>be me
>be 500lb normie slayer
>wake up at 7 in the evening
>tummy growls for tendies and mountain dew
>screech at the top of my lungs
>then proceed to yell
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER HAS AWAKENED NOW HE MUST FEAST ON TENDIES"
>hear mommy sobbing
>I didn't ask for crying I asked for tendies dumb normie bitch
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER SHALL NOT WAIT, FOR HE IS A GOOD BOY"
>still hear mommy crying like a little bitch
>Thats it
>grab my pee and poo jar
>lay on my skateboard (my big bones are too heavy for me to walk)
>surf down the stairs and get a big owie
>now i start crying
>"MOMMY THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU LAZY CUNT NOW YOUR BIG BOY IS HURT"
>sobbing gets louder
>bitch doesn't even come to give me kisses
>normie slayer is enraged
>stand up because of my anger strength
>knock down mommy's door
>bitch is screaming in fear
>YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD MOMMY, NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY THE PRICE, PREPARE FOR THE PEE POO DICE"
>take off my diaper throw it at her face
>spin around and shit and piss everywhere
>mommy is begging for mercy
>too late bitch
>throw pee and poo bottle on her
>headshot
>glass breaks on her
>she's knocked out cold
>pick up a glass shard and stab her nipples
>she's bleeding from her head
>go to the freezer and grab all the tendies and stuff them in my folds of fat to warm
>crawl back up stairs to my dojo
>watch mlp for 5 hours while eating fat-thawed tendies
>finally decide to pick up the phone and call 911 b/c I'm a good boy
>hear sirens approaching
I hope they take away my abusive mommy and give me a new tendie vendor
>>768691394
>1 GBP is 2 USD
>mommy is ripping me off
>she's been using the Mexican exchange rate of 1 GBP = 1 USD
>gotta tell that bitch and cash in on all the missing GBP from these years
>lotsa tendies for dinner tonight!
>Monday afternoon
>tugging it to Nick Jr all day long
>Finish squeezing big boy gooey gunk from my winker
>Mumsies comes home from work
>Poo poo in my diapie due to excitement
>Earned 70 good boy points earlier today by promising not to empty my piss bottles on mumsie's bed while she was at work
>Expect delicious tendies immediately
>Squat walk downstairs with full diaper of excitement
>No good smell
>Mumsie looks upset
>Anon you're 33, I talked with a friend about getting you a job
>Fucking normie mom
>Remove my shit filled diaper and wield it like a sling
>IM A GOD BOY I HAVE GOOD BOY POINTS GIVE ME CHICKEN TENDIES
>Anon please..
>IM DAVIE YOURE GOLIATH
>Swing my shit sling at her
>Diaper falls apart and flings wet sloppy big boy chocolate all over the room
>Ring of fecies whips her in the eye and she falls do the ground recoiling and grabbing her face
>Slap her open handed and squat over her face
>YOUR LACK OF TENDIES SEALS YOUR DOOM, I LOOSE MY BOWELS WITH A BOOM!
>Queue a huge wet fart bubble followed by a mexican mudslide in the rainy season
>Literally pours over her face like a generous helping of piping hot chili
>She wipes it off her face and tries to gasp for air
>Quickly plug her shit covered mouth with my still-erect big boy weenie peenie
>GIVE ME EXTRA GOOD BOY POINTS OR ELSE ILL CHOKE YOU MUMSIE
>She spasms and mumbles what might be a yes
>waddle back to my room and play some XBox
>Serves me tendies later while sobbing and promises to give me lots of good boy points
>mfw I put that bitch in her place
>mfw I always get my way.
This is the best post I've ever read
Screen it. Just screen it.
>shit my pants more than once a week
>cant do anything beyond addition and subtraction and even then I can only do it in intervals up to 12
>people still talk to me in a baby voice even though im adult
>the cashier has to scan my debit card for me or ill mess up
>cant pee standing up
>burn the oven mitts all the time because I always turn on the wrong burners and mommy yells at me
>try to fill my cuppy up with ice but it always overflows because I hold the button too long
>dont know how to make my bed so I need mommy to fix the sheets all the time
>got a kitten for a present and loved it like crazy but ended up killing it when I accidentally sat on it
>dont know how to button up my own shirts
>people make fun of me because my shoes are always on the wrong feet and I still have to wear velcro sneakers
>never learned how to cut my food with a knife and fork so when we go out we have to ask the kitchen to do it special
>half the time forced to order off kids menu because I dont know what im ordering otherwise
>cant remember my television channels when cartoons are on so mommy has to change it for me
>spent my entire life in special ed even though I was too self aware to enjoy it
>>768692425
Indeed. The world needs to hear this story
>>768676447
That's hot.
>be me
>playing cs:go
>mummy and new chocolate daddy are wrestling downstairs
>suddenly get a hunger for tendies
>walk over to my GBP board, waddling through the shit jugs and piss bottles
>i have 40 Good Boy Points...enough for an extra-large chicken tendie meal!
>i run downstairs to tell mummy
>bang on her bedroom door
>"Mummy, mummy, I have 40 GBP! I want tendies"
>she says "Sorry anon, I'm busy, maybe you can cook the tendies that are in the freezer"
>BITCH JUST CROSSED A LINE
>i run back to my room crying and screaming and shitting my diapies
>get an idea
>i grab my special 5000 GBP damascus katana
>run back downstairs
>as I kickdown mummy's door i scream "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! YOU FUCKING NORMALFAGS, SMELL MY SPECIAL DIAPEY SURPRISE!"
>chocolate daddy is confused
>i take off my diaper and throw it directly towards his head
>he screams and falls to the ground, my poop in his eyes
>i then unsheath my katana and chop off his pee pee
>he screams even louder
>"THAT MUTHA FUCKA CHOPPED MY DICK OFF I'LL FUCKIN KILL HIM CALL FUCKIN 91-"
>mummy hits chaddy with the night lamp and he falls limp
>she says he could be blind and that they need to put his pee pee back on or something
>drags him away saying she'll take him to the hospital
>i wait 5 hours
>mummy comes back with an extra large kfc chicken tendie meal and a mountain dew
>she's covered in mud and leafs for some reason
>whatever
>but you know what they always say!
>"It always endies with the tendies"
>mfw
>>768691993
Hawt.
>be me
>530 Lbs of mummy's golden child
>sitting on toilet squeezing out a big poo that I've held for a day
>finally drops out along with a BRRRRRAPPPPPPFFPPPPTHTHTHTPPP
>look in the bowl at my masterpiece, skidmarks longer than the M6
>"Mummy, MUMMY, come and see what I did!"
>mum unlocks the door from the outside using the special key for emergencies
>proudly point at the toilet bowl
>wow! You've done so well, and it's all in the bowl too! That's 10 good boy points
>clap my hands because I've been saving my good boy points for weeks, finally at 150
>cash them all in for a special hour with my catgirl
>mummy phones up the people who send the catgirl and talks with them
>hear girl arrive at the door and sit on the end of my bed and take off my pants for the first time in 2 days
>can hear them talking downstairs
>"God, it's not him again is it? He's getting too large for me to do anything"
>hear mummy say "Please, we have a system and it's the only way I can get him to do anything"
>girl sighs and says "I have the catears headband too, I'll be wearing it again?"
>clap my hands because I can tell special time is about to begin
>girl comes into my room and meows and purrs
>have special fun time, she makes my peepee feel good
>the next 50 minutes are spent while I tell her about my comics and my video games
>she's really impressed
>eventually leaves after the hour is up
>mummy comes up with my snack of tendies for being such a good boy
>"enjoy your tendies, snookums, I have to leave now for my nightshift"
>eat my tendies in bed and dream about my waifu Mikasa-san afterwards
How can anyone diss the NEET life? Enjoy your long hours and ungrateful wives, wageslaves.
>>768690860
The autistic word for chicken tenders
>be me
>wake up in a cold sweat wheezing
>hungry.wav
>waddle over to kitchen
>exhausted from the walk and lay on kitchen floor like an overturned giant slug
>get up half an hour later
>open the freezer
>no tendies
>almost suffer cardiac arrest
>feel a festering "REEEE" in the back of my throat
>this_ends_now.jpg
>waddle as fast as I can towards the slut bitch cunt's room
>watch over her
>she looks exhausted from working her two jobs
>"Mommy?"
>no response
>oh_no_boy-o.png
>"MOOOOM!"
>Mommy wakes up with a gasp
>looks at me and starts crying
>"Oh, anon, no... I- I forg--"
>get unto the bed on top of her
>hear her groan under weight and hear something pop
>"No nuggies so I make Mommy into huggies"
>"Sweetie, I--"
>"NO NUGGIES SO I MAKE MOMMY INTO HUGGIES!!!"
>with speeds that are unfathomable I pull down my pants and put her face right into my butt
>haven't taken a poopie in weeks
>let_it_go.gif
>as horrible juicy farts are released from my cave, an explosion of chunky diarrhea explodes into my Mom's face
>as thunderous farts and blobs of poopie explode, I roar and tremble in orgasmic pleasure, my saggy tits jiggling in unison to my quicering jowls
>"GOD HAS LEFT US MOMMY!!!!"
>hear my Mommy gagging and sobbing
>sleep on top of mommy because ordeal made me sleepy
>wake up next morning
>Mommy gone
>waddle over to fridge
>Tyson nuggies on shelf
Give me one good reason NEET life isn't worth it
>>768692896
And what the hell are chicken tenders???
>Mommy gives me $20 and tells me to go walk to the movies so she and New New Daddy can have some alone time
>"For tickets alone, this sum shall suffice. But I must eat too, and that begs a higher price!"
>Jesus Anon, when are you going to stop talking like that? It's really getting on my nerves
>bitch still gives me another $20
>"Mummy, upon leaving the theatre, the hour will be late. A ride I demand, and I don't like to wait!"
>Anon, the theater is a 5 minute walk away. Get home yourself
>"Neglect of your child is the worst of my triggers. Do you wish to see me set upon by unruly niggers?"
>Anon, don't use that language! We live in a safe neighborhood, now go
>"The march to the theatre looms long and unfriendly. To maintain my stamina, I require Tendies!"
>mummy is visibly mad at this point
>Anon, I'm not making you more tendies, you had two cases earlier. Your body doesn't need any more!
>"Ah, i see it's a matter of my digestive capacity. The solution, I assure you, is not beyond my sagacity!"
>stick thumb down throat
>puke all over mummy's special Just For Daddy dress
>"My stomach is emptied, it demands to be refilled! Now cook up more tendies, the only task in which you're skilled!"
>mummy starts crying
>walks toward bathroom
>I pull her back into the kitchen
>she cooks me tendies while crying silently
>I wolf them all down, smiling brightly
>>768691297
Baby wakes up in the morning hungry for his tendie meal
He starts shouting for his mummy, and so loudly it's unreal
"Wanna eat my chickie tendies, so please give them to me now,
And don't forget to bring the ranch, you fat, ungrateful cow"
Mummy comes in with a smile on her face
"Just a second hun", sounds like she knows her place
After just a minute comes my favorite food in bed
And I sit there eating chicken, happy baby has been fed
Mummy comes back later for my dirty dish and plate
And now I need more tendies to properly satiate
So I throw the plate at mummy and I tell her what I need
But I threw the plate so hard at her that she began to bleed
Mummy took my good boy points away
And she told me that I will be grounded for today
This is an injustice for the good boys everywhere
Time to release plan B inside of my underwear
I sit in my bed and then I have to concentrate
And release manifestation of my overwhelming hate
And when all is said and done,that is when I begin to bawl
Mummy comes back in, because she's at my beckon call
I watch her face when she smells the smell
"This is it dear mummy, this is my personal hell"
"Baby made a poo poo and needs mummy to change"
"Don't forget my good boy points, cuz I yelled out your name"
The morally of the story is that baby's always right
Gotta put mummy in place when she puts up a fight
She will try to ground you, but try as she might
When she messes with baby there is no end in sight
Cherry Coke Zero is such a joy
To go with chickie tendies for mummy's little boy
And in the morning we will do this all again
That's why daddy left us, because his is not our friend
>>768693114
>>768691581
Fegget
>>768693946
Faggot nigger fuckwit
>Wake up at 9pm after a particularly exhausting Minecraft session
>tummy is making hungry noises
>navigate my way out of my room through the piles of weewee jugs and trash
>make my way downstairs, peek into the living room
>mummy and new daddy are doing a special backwards hug on the sofa like uncle phil showed me once
>new daddy is making funny sounds like a steam train
>don't care, hungry
>"MUMMY MAKE ME BREKKIE BREK"
>mummy screams, new daddy swears and nearly falls off the sofa like a silly
>says to mummy "why is that retard still living here, isn't he like 30"
>I don't like being called a retard
>not since the incident with the toddler in mcdonalds
>feel my inner wolf break loose
>let out a mighty howl and try to rip off my creeper hoodie
>not strong enough in my hunger-weakened state
>new daddy is laughing, I'll fucking show him
>pull down my crusty cargo shorts and grab my tingly tummy tendie
>"GOLDEN WHIRLWIND, GO GO GO"
>start spinning like a beyblade and weeing as hard as I can
>mummy is screaming and crying, new daddy swears even louder and tries to grab me
>dodge him with my veteran CS reflexes but fall because I'm dizzy from malnourishment
>new daddy gets me in a headlock and starts punching me in the tummy
>he doesn't know I've been saving a satisfying tendie-and-dew-fuelled doodie for later
>bum explodes like a fat man in fallout 3 (I don't play 4 because it doesn't have my waifu Moira)
>new daddy is covered in doodie, he looks like a swamp monster
>he lets go and starts vomiting
>mummy is on the phone, I think she's calling 911, new daddy is trying to make her put the phone down and shouting something about "the meth you dumb bitch"
>crawl to the kitchen, everything is spinning and I feel faint
>"MUMMY MAKE TENDIES" I manage to shout before blacking out
>wake up locked inside the basement bad-boy cage next to a plate of hot tendies
>new daddy is gone
great success
>>768694137
Wierdo
>My eyes open and see the blank computer screen
>Mommy must've cut the power to my room
>Joke's on her, over the course of 7 years I have accumulated approximately 13 million Good Boy Points, which should be enough to last me until death
>"TENDIES, TENDIES, IT IS TIME. MUMMY IS AN UNGRATEFUL SWINE," I wheeze with a devilish grin
>Rise up from my chair, a thick layer of grease and mold sticking to the back of my cumstained asscheeks
>Waddle over to the bedroom door, feet squishing through poop and pee
>Light shines in through the windows, realize that I haven't seen the sun in 19 years
>Oh well
>I hear Mommy crying in the other room, slowly move in that direction
>She's sitting at the kitchen table, tears and snot running down her face
>"FIRE DEEP WITHIN MY LOINS, MUMMY WILL PLEASE MY ACHING GROIN."
>The sobbing stops and she looks up
>I'm naked, my cock proudly standing at half mast, most of it weighed down by the various rolls of belly fat
>I slam her weak, anorexic body to the floor and tell her to start sucking
>She's trying to resist, lol
>Easily snap her jaw open
>Her blood makes for excellent lubricant
>"MUMMY SHALL LICK AND LICK, PROVE THY WORTHINESS OF YOUR BABY'S DICK."
>Her teeth begin to fall out, she doesn't need them anyway
>I cum and she makes gurgling noises, spasming and pointing to her throat
>I left her up by her hair, she's not even recognizable anymore
>"MUMMY IS A CHURLISH COW, TO THE FREEZER YOU GO NOW."
>She grabs a box of my favorite brand
>It's Kid Cuisine
>Good fun and good food go great together with Kid Cuisine!
This thread is autistic beyond all human comprehension. I love it.
>>768694700
Dubs speaks the truth
The following is completely true. Unlike the rest of you idiots I actually live the dream!
>29 years old
>In my play room
>Need to make poo
>Lean over my inflatable ottoman
>Put my toy dump truck between my legs and make a shipment.
>Poo-poo is a little runnier than usual, but it doesn't matter.
>*vroom-vroom*
>Now I'm hauling a fresh load across the country
>Mummy brings in my lunch (nachos. I like to change it up)
>"Anon, I told you not to play with your poo poo!"
>I'm getting real fucking tired of hearing this.
>Flip the plate of nachos into the wall
>Start punching my own head
>"Anon stop PLEASE STOP!" she screams
>You made me do this I say.
>She runs out of the room to get the tethers to tie my arms back and stop me hitting myself
>Stand behind the door and wait for her to come back.
>As soon as she runs back in I punch her directly in the face as hard as I can, making a weird, wet cracking sound.
>She falls over and hits her head on my Dinosaur Kingdom table.
>I go back to playing with my toy trucks and stuffed animals
>She wakes up a bit later
>I don't say anything, I just stare at her
>She quietly leaves the room, rubbing her fresh bruise
>I can hear her crying from her room.
>Am I worried? No. Regretful? Certainly not.
>I'll wait it out and things will go back to normal.
>It's easy for me to be a good boy.
>If Mummy does what I say I'll be a good little boy.
If she doesn't like it she should have had an abortion. She chose this life.
>>768694068
I like you 2 bby
>Wake up this morning feeling good
>Pull the special edition Battlestar Galactica blanket off my bed
>Tie it around my neck like cape
>Step over my piss bottles and old food containers
>It's an autistic ballet as I tip toe to the spots on my floor that aren't covered in garbage
>Finally make it out into hallway
>Rush to look at Good Boy chart on the wall
>MFW only 10 more points needed for a Double Tendie Dinner!
>Run downstairs so fast my cape floats behind me
>Do a running slide onto kitchen floor to tell Mummy the good news
>Mummy just looks at me sternly
>Says to bend over so she can check my diaper first
>"You know I have to check every morning, anon."
>"Nooooo! I don't wanna!" I yell defiantly
>Tears start to well in her eyes
>She starts walking away from me
>"Wait...Ok..." I say as I lean over the table for her inspection
>Pull down my pants
>The smell of partially digested tendies shit and cheese diarrhea wafts to her nose
>She instantly vomits into the sink
>"That's minus 50 GBP!" she screams with her chin covered in puke
>"I screech and rip off the diaper
>Throw it onto the dining room table as hard as I can
>Orange and brown chunks splatter everywhere
>Some gets on the ceiling
>Some gets on mummy
>She curls into a ball sobbing uncontrollably next to the sink
>Reaches up for a towel but accidentally cuts herself on a kitchen knife I left out
>She's bleeding and covered in vomit and poo while screaming how I'm a bad boy
>Quickly put on my shoes and stuff my pockets with frozen tendies
>Run to my car crying because now I'm late for class at community college
>wake up at 5pm with tummy grumbles
>been saving up my GBP to have a real tendy feast
>shuffle as fast as I can to mommy's room
>she's sitting in her chair looking at an old album of my baby photos and crying
>I break out in my favorite song
>"TENDIES ARE MY FAVORITE TREAT! NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EAT!"
>she looks up dejectedly
>"A-anon, I'm not really up for getting tendies right now. Can't we get them later?"
>can't believe what I'm hearing
>I even passed up getting Amiibos with my GBP in anticipation of this meal
>"MY INTESTINES ARE FULL AND MY ANUS IS WET! A DAY WITHOUT TENDIES IS A DAY YOU'LL REGRET!
>"Wait, anon I-"
>I can see in her eyes that she already knows her words are too late
>"TENDIES WERE MY ONE DESIRE! NOW BEHOLD MY FECAL MIRE!
>liquid ex-tendies pour from my body and start to fill the room
>mommy's screams are drowned out by the caca-phony being emitted from my rumpus
>fast forward an hour and I'm eating all the Wendy's tendies my heart could desire
The key to dealing with normie moms is making sure that they know their place
I have a friend who is now 29 and has been a neet since at least age 19... I've witnessed the following:
>calls mom "mommy" - check
>grandparents are "gampy" and "gamma" - check
>eats a lot of tendies and/or nugs - check
>mom and grandparents are very doting - check
>sleeps from 6a to 6p - check
>no piss or shit jars, bathroom is built into room
>tendies are brought to him because room is upstairs - check
>room has a balcony overlooking his pool
>friends caught him pissing from balcony into pool, but he denies it
This meme means so much more when it's a real person.
>be me
>be in mummy wummy's attic
>hear mummy and new daddy making the Forrest Gump sounds
>decide it's time to cash in GBP cache
>503 GBP
>this means soooooo many tendies
>Swing open mummy's door and see new daddy pumping cucumber in mummy
>"mummy i need tendie-wendies!"
>"fuk off m8" screechies new daddy as he spews mayonaise
>begin to cry
>run to attic
>spirit broken
>get on tumblr and read about self harm
>time to show mummy how much i love the tendies
>take katana and begin James Franco-ing my limbs ie 127 hrs
>ketchup & bbq all over
>bread myself in pee pee jars and baby powder
>roll to mummy's door
>mfw she's at the door crying
>mfw im human tendie
> NEET in the making
> 23 years old and 240lbs momma boy
> Discovered how delicious tendies are
> gaming all day, all night
> sometimes because I forget mom brings tendies up my room
> daddy insists on me getting a job
> can't find one because economy
> Start to make income by creating bots to farm gold and shit in WoW
> Because of the time it takes to set up the bots and manage my funds I can't leave room
> Start to piss in empty milk jugs
> Tendies want out again
> No choice but to shit in another jug
> give daddy money from my bots to shut him up
> I slowly detoriate into a full fledged NEET
> my neck gets t h i c c
> my beard gets long and greasy
> my hair too
> clothes go from XXL to XXXXL
> room starts to smell like plague ridden towns in the middle ages
> still get my funds going
> lose will to socialize
> start to harass mom and dad when they don't feed me
> discover 4chan one day
> mfw they all write stories about me
>be me
>mummy's chunky 550lb miracle
>wakeup at 5pm
>roll over in my playpen
>something is missing
>my waifu pillow is gone
>that bitch has kidnapped her
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>no reply
>roll out of the pen but too fat to stand
>crawl along the floor
>poopoo and peepee bottles fall and spill in my wake
>my soiled mlp onesie becoming a jackson pollock canvas of poo and pee
>roll down the stairs and see mummy in the kitchen
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER, WHORE?!
I-I don't know what you're talking about sweetie
MY WAIFU! WHERE IS SHE!
Your pillow... thing. I took it to get washed, it was all gross and crusty
MY WAIFU PILLOW I SHALL FIND, THEN YOU SHALL EAT TENDIES FROM MY BEHIND
>pull myself onto my legs for the first time in weeks
>can feel my knees buckling under the weight of my ample frame
>i strap on my naruto headband, grab my minecraft sword and waddle out the door on my chivalrous quest
>people gag as i pass them on the street
>others flee in terror at the sight of me lumbering down the street trailing poopoo behind me
>get to the laundromat
RELEASE HER FROM HER SOAPY PRISON!
>laundry lady looks shocked
e-excuse me
MY WAIFU YOU ODOROUS CRONE! I AM TO BELIEVE THAT SHE IS HOUSED WITHIN ONE OF THESE SPINNING DEATHTRAPS!
oh, y-you're mrs anon's ch-child... your mother's laundry is over here
>i see my love being drowned in a vortex of water and suds
REEEEEEEEEEE! SHE'S DYING YOU MALODOROUS FIEND! HOW CAN YOU LET AN INNOCENT FLOWER WILT AND DIE THIS WAY!
>i use all my tard strength to rip the machine door from it's hinges
>water floods the room as i stand triumphant sword held high and waifu in hand
>make my way home expecting tendies for the returning hero
>instead see the blue and red flashing lights of the law
>they tackle me to the ground, the stench causing them to vomit all over me
IS THIS HOW AMERICA TREATS IT'S HEROES?!
>they separate me from my love and throw me in the back of a car
>i can see them dragging her away as my eyes fill with tears
>never see her again
What the actual fuck is happening here
>>768697620
Good things, anon
>3 am
>12 hours into my League of Legends normie killing campaign
>playing my waifu jinx
>some normie is obviously using hax and kills me.
>I manage to hold back a scream. Only for my beautiful waifu
>still angry, decide to eat tendies for comfort.
>reaches to special curves
>lifts tendie fold
>no tendies, only sweat and barbie q sauce
>pull out my sauce covered hand, screaming in rage
>why didn't mommie restock my folds yet
>screaming continues, using my rage to stand
>pukie all over keyboard from the stress
>smell of barbie q and pukie fills the air
>how dare mommie make me look like this in front of my Jinxie
>lumber to the door, barb ba qu sauce drips down my body as it mixes with sweet.
>"MOMMIE MOMMIE YOUR SWEET BABY BOY IS HUNGRRYY"
>I can hear a panic shuffling. Mommie must know the wrong she did.
>"MOMMIE YOU'VE BEEN BAD TO YOUR BABBY BOY"
>throws self down the stairs, my big boy bones are too heavy for the steps and the stair chair is too slow.
>My sensual rolls break my fall, leftover barby sauce squirting out as I land.
>Mommie tries to run for the door
>she slips on the bar ba que that discharged from my store folds.
>Mommie's big dumb head hits coffeetable then floor
>"Mommie mommie"
>I poked mommie with saucey finger
>dumb cunt doesn't wake up, lying in barba quey sauce
> I must have spilled ketchup too
>Red sauce everywhere
>go to the freezer
>start shoving tendies into my folds to heat
>refuse to use oven like some useless mommie
>step over mommie and squeeze into stair chair.
>Stair chair whirls loudly
>Mommy still not up.
>roll back to computer
>my team lost while I was dealing with mommie
>fucking casuals
>looking at Jinx makes my tinkie feel spicy
>use my slippy sauce covered hand to make my tinkie feel extra spicy.
>tinke pukies on keyboard
>goes to the chan to find more pictures to make my tinkie spicey
>next day mommys still sleeping
bitch
This thread is great
>Be me, 542 lbs of proud, big boned badass
>In my room playing Sonic Free Riders
>Tumbly gives out a rumbly
>Reach for another handful of Bugles but the bag is empty
>"It seems my food has been depleted. I guess that means some more is needed!"
>Engage my mommy pager device aka pounding on the wall with my strong thick big boy arm
>Let out a scrart (screech fart) to convey the urgency of the situation
>Mommy comes into the room, dark circles under her eyes
>"Anon it's 3:45 I have work at 5:00 and I only just got to-"
>"Cease your whining, vile whore. I'm out of snacks and I need more! Fix me tendies now, posthaste, or my vengeance you shall taste!"
>Brandish my katana and threaten to slice open a poo sack
>"That's not a katana anon that's a wiffle ball bat"
>Whack!
>Mommy sighs and turns to leave when her nightgown snags on the dresser, jostling it and causing my Ayanami Rei figurine to tip over
>"o-oh anon, your doll I'm sorry"
>"She's not a doll, and now you're through! I'll drown you til you rest in poo!"
>Get off the bed with a mighty roll
>Clutch my sword
>Take a deep breath and begin my charge to defend my lady's name
>I'm not closing the distance fast enough, mommy's getting up!
>Another scrart startles her enough to freeze her
>Grab the nearest poo bag and drop it on her back
>It doesn't break
>Time to show my full power
>"Attack my woman, you craven trollop?! Beware, your baby packs a wallop!"
>Bring my katana down on top of the bag, bursting it and covering mommy in my chocolate
>Mommy's cries and slips in the poo
>See Rei on the floor
>Combined with this alpha display, I'm pretty horny
>Start rubbing my willy now that mommy can't stop me
>She looks up in horror as I let a milky load rip all over her pathetic existence
>Lean on dresser for support
>It can't stand my high-test figure and breaks
>Splinters fly everywhere.
>My hide protects me but they cut mommy's necky-neck
>She stops moving
>Still hungry
I'm THIS close to calling child services
>be me
>27 y/o mommie man
>studious autist
>on 4chinz
>/g/
>talking about the PC parts economy being shit
>suddenly my giant grandfather clock goes off
>"6 PM"
>let it ding all the way through
>hear my mom gripe
>hear her coming up the stairs
>not fast enough
>"HURRY YOU FAT PIECE OF SHIT, IF WALKING UP THE STAIRS TAKES YOU THAT LONG, YOU SHOULD LOSE SOME WEIGHT, WHORE"
>she finally arrives at my room
>checks off 100 gbp from the gbp tracking sheet
>walks back down to kitchen
>she starts preparing tendies
>20 minutes later, still no tendies
>"MOTHER BRING ME MY TENDIES NOW OR I SWEAR ILL STRIKE YOU DOWN WHERE YOU FUCKING STAND"
>she gripes again
>she walks back up the stairs
>approaches my room
>no tendies
>whatthefuckmom.pdf
>she has a knife
>"oh, you gonna make me some fresh homemade tendies? thanks mom! i love you! you are the best mom! cutting up chicken for lil ol me!"
>"im not making you tendies, anon"
>"what?"
>she runs at me with the knife while screaming "I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING ABORTED YOU"
>deflect attack using the black magic i learned on /a/
>pull out katana
>hit her with it
>"THAT KATANA IS PLASTIC YOU FUCKING MORON"
>"FUCK YOU, WHORE"
>new idea
>i pull down her pants and panties
>"NO, SON, PLEASE"
>shove whole katana up her slut ass
>she stops moving
>blood leaking out of asshole
>i dont even see her breathing
>"dumb fucking bitch, dont fuck wit me, now go makes tendies"
>she just sits there
>motionless
>it turns me on
>i am horny and there is a dead woman on the floor
>its saturday 1996
>watching cartoons with fruity pebbles
>watching special tv morning time with mommy
>giggle
>laugh
>enjoy the morning
>its saturday 2018
>watch saturday cartoons while mom trys to talk
>job
>move out
>school
>laugh and tell her no
>she starts to bawl so I punch her in the gut
>she stops and I hand her the bowl
>MORE
>Finally got enough good boy points to get a 20 piece nug meal at McDonald's
>time to dine like a king
>Ask mumsy to wash my rarity plushy so I can take her on a date (shes my gf and was covered in cummies)
>Anon, I'll wash it when we get home from McDonald's, I've got laundry running
>"it"
>Oh
>No
>U
>Didnt
>I'm a classy gentleman who will defend his waifu's honor
>walk into the laundry room and open the running dryer, unleashing a torrent of Mountain Dew colored fury from my pee pee into the hot, drying, clothes
>Next, open up the washing machine, sticking my butt in the open lid, filling it with a mess of grumpy dumpies
>After running for a minute, the smell brings mummy in to investigate
>"Anon, what is that smell?"
>"Now that this load is dirty, you can wash rarity, right?"
>"That does it, anon, I'm taking the internet down for the rest of the month and you can forget about chicken nuggets!"
>She rushes from the laundry room with a pair of scissors to cut the cable
>My 430 pound body is too healthy to catch up to the bitch
>I gasp for air in between 'reeeeeeeeeees' and lumber up the stairs to ex new daddy no. 5's old office
>I have her in my sights
>I attempt to charge, but my left arm has shooting pain, coming from my chest
>I clutch my breast and start to cry
>"moooooooooooommiieeeeeee, save your good boy"
>She grabs the phone in tears and goes to dial, but stops
>She looks at me me with tears and mumbles "sorry Anon...." as she sets the phone down and walks away
That's all I remember. I guess the neighbor heard the commotion and called the cops. Just got released from the ER. I reasoned with her not to cut internet. She's even gotten me nugs, tendies, and fries for every meal today! She cry's as she hands them to me, and just mumbles 'sorry' or some shit. Glad she's sad about how she treated me and rarity.
I honestly dislike these.
Personally they aren't funny anymore.
>>768695149
>If she doesn't like it she should have had an abortion. She chose this life.
Agreed! All our mothers used to be slutty normalfags bitches. We wouldn't have pity with them usually. Ironically the only reason we do pity them is because they forced us into existence, which is the same reason we should hate them even more
>>768676045
>>768676194
>>768676227
>>768676447
>>768677466
>>768677686
>>768677885
>>768678245
>>768678803
>>768678803
>>768679212
>>768680780
>>768680895
>>768681143
>>768688149
>>768688477
>>768690183
>>768691219
>>768691297
>>768691920
>>768691993
>>768692503
>>768692561
>>768694087
>>768695149
>>768697822
>>768697977
>>768699463
>>768699831
>be 15
>shat pants
>fractured tesitcle
>goodnight world
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv9bC_ztLBw
Kek, wanna watch a real life version of these stories:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4PTf7LgsIE
>>768700330
Show some fucking respect - >>768700034
>>768676045
>glitched prices!!!! nons!
Thank you for this gold Anons, I missed this
>>768700330
old and gold
gave me keks again
> murricans still think abortion is bad
> be me
> 28 years old NEET
> raised as an only child
> I caused mummy and daddys divorce
> nothing matters except the scrumptious taste of tendies
> mfw its 03:00am
> mummy I'm hungries
> yell into intercom for snackitysnacks
> CLAIM THE MEAL OF THE CHICKEN GODS!! ITS TENDY TIME!!
> her tired voice reponds with "NOT NOW SWEETY MOMMY IS WORKING!!"
> challenging me at this hour?
> insolent woman I know there are tendies in the freezer bring me my tendies
> keep chanting for the tendies that are rightfully mine
> GOLDEN BROWN TENDY TOWN TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN
> evil jew landlord tells mummy to shut me up
> eww mummy is sleeping with nasty landlord
> naughty man. Making mummy's ladylettuce smell like sardines
> The war has begun.ctn
> enter sunrise. All Preparations are complete.
> nullifying any chance of escape I reeeee into mummies "office" on my valiant reinforced electric wheelchair.
> douse jew in two jugs of poopyjuice before he can activate his spells
> evil jew is unable to battle!
> ram him into the corner and then leap off of my valiant steed and mount mummy's face
> NO NO NO NO NO NO MUMMY! YOUR PUNISHMENT MUST BE MORE SEVERE!!
> "URGH! YOU'RE CRUSHING ME SWEET-- OH GOD HELP ME PLEASE NO!!"
> Groan as I release a big boy turd so nasty her fingernails begin to peel backwards
> gaze into her eyes as the impact sends mummy into panic attack
> expel the last of my poopies on the sheet. How many times must I break you?
> tidy up my toys and waddle into kitchen to await my spoils
> slithery jew slithers out of my castle and says we don't need to worry about rent ever again
> victory.ogg
> mummy finally arrives visibly shaken and broken inside
> opens the freezer to make my tendies
> puts hot plate of tendies in front of me and blows them until they are cool
> "mummy you have to chew them for me"
> mummy breaks down in tears and screams for death
> yawn, give myself 5 extra gbp and fall asleep without eating them.
>>768687769
>>768691297
>>768693665
>Be me Monday Night
>Just me and Mommy
>Sitting in my room watching Tentacle Rape Hentai(sry don't have link)
>"Buzz Buzz"
>It's a text from mommy!
>"Hello Munchikins! Din Din's going to be ready in 20 min mins! Now I was going to tell you earlier mommys having her new friend over for some drinkies and cuddles. I have a big plate of tendies waiting just for you! All I ask is you be on your best behaviour!"
>I fart in horror
>Nearly faint from the fumes
>I guess mommy didn't learn her lesson from last time
>She'll learn, Good Boy points be damned
>Spend the next 20 minutes pooing into empty shit jugs lying around my room
>Don't even consider wiping
>It takes 7 attempts to get out of my chair and crawl to my scooter
>Heave myself into the chair
>Fuck I forgot my trenchcoat
>Repeat process 7 times
>Ok now I'm ready
>Drive Full Speed at 16mph down the hall
>I sort of just kind of have to roll down the stairs at this point
>Land with a thud
>Crawl to my second scooter and drive the remaining 9 feet to the Kitchen
>Mommy and her new friend are already eating
>His name is Darrell
>"Hey Sport! Wow your mother wasn't lying when she called you a big boy!"
>Hiss and prepare to feast on tendies
>"Whoa! Mind if I try one of those champ!"
>He takes a tendie from my plate and gobbles it down
>The room falls silent
>enough is enough
>reeeeeeeeeeee
>"Anon plea-"
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>"Anon Darrel was onl-"
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>I leap from my highchair and smash my shit jug across Darrel's face
>The blow combined with the smell knocks him unconscious
>Mommy screams as I turn my attention to her
>Begin flinging bits of poo poo pee pee from the table at her face
>Hitmarkerconfirmed
>Shits in her hair now and her makeup is running down her face
>Chase her around the room for half an hour till she locks herself in the closet
>I almost forgot about my tendies!
>There almost cold now and they smell of poo
>But Tendies is what I desire
>And so Tendies I shall have
>>768700330
Holy fucking shit...
>be me
>27
>live at home with mom
>she has a party and invites our friends and families
>big pot luck but all I want is chicken tendies
>go to freezer pull out tendies
>throw some in the microwave
>come out of the kitchen with my chicken tendies and mustard
>everyone looks at me as I go back to my fap fortress
>mom comes in and tells me, "Anon, will you please be social for our family and friends? Please do it for me!"
>Go back to the living room
>"so anon I hear you like those chinese cartoons like the dragon ballsy and naroootoe?"
>starting to get pissed
>giggle and just say yeah
>then some faggot pulls out a Macbook Air to show off his faggot families vacation
>rage ensues
>run to my room screaming "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>grab piss bottle
>throw it at macfag
>hits him everyone goes silent
>Then I scream "Filthy fucking casual!"
>Apple is for fags
>mom grabs me
>Back hand her
>faggot white knight steps in and tells me to calm down
>start to scream and helicopter
>shit my self in the process
>everyone pulls out their iPhones to take a video
>more rage
>run back into room and grab my wooden katana
>here them talking and asking what they should do
>run out and chop at the macbook asshole
>the guy tries to tackle me but my ninjitsu skills are second to none
>he trips and bust his head open on the coffee table
>everyone runs out
>someone calls the cops
>go hid in my room
>clutch my Tifa Lockhart body-pillow and pray to my framed picture of Gabe Newell above my bed
>set up trap using my jizz bottles
>cops knock on door and tell me to open up
>They bust in
>first cop gets a bucket of jizz I proped over my door
>second one trips over my fleshlight
>cops throw me to the ground and hand cuff me
>mom's crying
>go to jail
>missing warm tendies and comfy animes
>be me
>38 years old, still unemployed
>4am
>horny after watching 10 episodes of Pokemon: Johto Journey
>clomp my way across the landing to mummy's room
>clamber onto her bed
>MUMMY WUMMY ITS TIME FOR MY TUMMY TO GIVE YOU THE TENDIES THAT COME FROM MY ENDIES
>she wakes groggy and confused
>"Oh no, no Anon, please. We said-"
>she bursts into tears
>"We said I would only do it once. You got your 50,000 GBP to promise to never do it again."
>stupid bitch is crying hysterically now
>"I need to get up for work in an hour. The office told me if I'm late again I'll be f-f-fired."
>grab her hair and yank her head up
>NO MUMMY ITS TIME FOR YOU TO RECYCLE THE CHICKEN TENDIES BECAUSE TENDIES FROM MY ENDIES ARE YUMMY FOR MUMMYS TUMMY
>tries to wriggle away, gasping hysterically, but I grab her slender wrists with my Charizard strength
>MUMMY YOU ARE SO PRETTY I tell her as the tears stream down her red, puffy face
>MUMMYEEEEEEEERRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO EAT THE SECOND HAND TENDIES
>she nods slowly, lower lip quivering
>squat myself over mummy's accepting face and pull down my black shorts with the flames up the sides
>mummy opens her mouth, trembling with horror and racked with sobs as she tries to keep still, I can feel her hot breath on my hairy, shit-encrusted anus
>(tendies tendies from my endies, from my tummy into mummy) I whisper into the night air
>within seconds I feel something
>a gushing of release and relief from my guts expels explosive and gaseous from my itchy bumhole, spraying and splopping chunks and jets and gooey ropes of every colour all over mummy's face and into her pink, waiting mouth
>hear her gagging and crying even harder underneath me
>relief is so intense I fall face-first onto her bed, booty naked in the air
>EAT MY TENDIES MUMMY, THEYRE SO GOOD AND YUMMY I say into the bedding, muffled
>hear her trying to swallow
>just keeps gagging and crying
>I fall asleep there and when I wake up at 3pm she's gone
fucking normie bitch
Lost it, read every single story. totally lost it. send two of them screenshot to my actual girlfriend. she send me some music that i should listen to so i can finally go sleep.
>3 PM
>wake up after all-nite playstation marathon
>feel the morning hungies
>expect my morning tendies left out by mummy before her wageslave time
>waddle my way into the kitchen
>no tendies
>mummy forgot my tendies
>anger fills my gelatinous body
>angry poopies overcome me and i poopsie on the floor
>smear poopsie all over floor and roll around in it
>lay there for a while
>the smell of hot, churned tendies-poopie fills the air
>wageslave mom returns home at 5 PM
>i tackle her and scream "BIG BOY HUNGIE FOR TENDIES"
>she screams out "ANON, WHAT HAPPENED?!"
>"MUMMY DIDN'T LEAVE MORNING TENDIES BIG BOY HUNGIE"
>she tries to reason with me as my shell of poopie cracks off covering her in dried poopies
>"A-anon, I'm so sorry. I actually took the day of today to go on a d-date. There was a guy at the office, and..."
>"MUMMSIE WUMSIE IS MINE ME NEED TENDIES"
>angry poopsies water dribbles through my undie wundies
>"MUMMY MINE"
>poopie doopie makes my undies droopie until a hole bursts open releasing my tendies goop all over mummy
>mummy begins to cry and vomit
>i cover myself in poopsie and begin screeching
>mummy is covered in my liquid-poopsie, crying
>i smack her in the face with poopie covered man milkies
>mummy keeps and says "You're such a good, big boy, anon. I'll get you tendies now, a-and I won't go out on any more dates."
>victory waddle back to beanbag chair and celebrate with more playstation
>mummy comes and serves me a triple tendie-dindin and tells me I'm her best boy
>mfw
>mummy says she can't afford to look after me and pay for all my tendies and my WoW subscription
>tells me I should apply for thta part time job at Lickin' Chicken to help with the bills
>start hyperventilating, going extremely red like a tomato (YUCK!)
>who does that bitch think she is
>hit her in her stupid old face with my fists and scream at her until she stops talking and leaves
>flash forward several weeks
>mummy hasn't talked about me getting a job since then
>she gets dressed up in fishnet stockings and very red lipstick and goes out all night, every night now, leaving chicken tendies in the microwave that I have to go all the way downstairs to heat up myself
>mfw
>later I find out mummy sent in an application to Lickin' Chicken for me and I got an interview
>I'm sitting in my swimming shorts on my big meowth cushion (MEE-OWTH THAT'S RIGHT!) trying to play WarioWare Touched on my Nintendo when she tells me about it
>MUMMY SHUT UP. SHUT UP MUMMY I'M TRYING TO BEAT ASHLEY
>fucking cunt hole tries to reason with me so I tell her
>WHO'S THE GIRL NEXT DOOR LIVING IN A HAUNTED MANSION YOU BETTER LEARN MY NAME CAUSE I'M ASHLEY
>jump up and down stomping my feet
>at the interview mum tries to stop me playing my DS
>I keep headbutting her until she lets me carry on
>the stupid man interviewing me asks me what I could bring to Lickin' Chicken
>keeping my eyes glued to the screen, I stand up and start a one-man conga around the small office singing I LIKE CHICKEN TENDIES. THE FLAVOUR NEVER ENDIES.
>anyway I didn't get the job, whatever, fucking normies said I would only earn 200 a week, I can make that just by staying in my bed all night and not getting into mummy's bed. Ka-ching!
>>768701940
>6'2
>over 200 pounds
>the fucking walls in his room
Holy fucking shit indeed
>be 35 year-old virgin NEET
>wake up at 6pm
>glance at my GBP board
>*gasp*
>momsey raized my Tendies by 5GBP EACH!
>Fucking makin me a bitch boy
>Go online lookin for advice
>I heard Reddit is helpfull
>Crawl through forest of NeckBeards
>Fined haven of the Gods!
>/r/Redpill
>Turns out momsey is just a whore needing an Alpha
>Must sell Beta Bux for RedPills
>Check Momsey's drawers, normie bitch has packets of Control pillz !!!
>Controll pillz will suffice
>Tear open packs swallow every last fucking Control pill
>I AM ALPHA
>I AM THE BRINGER OF DEATH
>I AM REDPILL
>Momsey walks in screaming at me, give her knowing smile, punch that bitch in her baby maker
>I AM ALPHA! I continue to shout while beating my chest like a Silverback Gorilla
>Pull out my peepee n slap momsey as she cries salty tears
>Belly is all Rumbly Tumbly, Control pills must be workin
>Start slapping Momsey showing my true dominance, I don't need no GBP I scream in her fucking normie face!!!!
>Black the Fuck out
>Wake up in hospital, stomach freshly pumped now Im hungry as fuck!
>Momsey crying in corner
>MFW nurse gives me pile of chicken tendies...
ALPHA AS FUCK!
>>768676146
kill yourself faggot. no one cares what you don't like.
>ever since the GBP inflation I've been a little short on cashies
>need more and I need it fast!
>suddenly I get a brainwave
>i slam my body against my mummy's bedroom door, it flies open and I do a gangsta walk in but I'm quickly winded, my cleanest cargo shorts pulled to my knees, my Hannah Montana night shirt tucked into my undies, and my best MAGA cap worn backwards and tilted on my head (something I kissed it for beforehand as a preemptive apology)
>"ay baby wassup, it's yo boy Tendie Fresh in da houuuuse"
>ever since that nigger noise they call (c)rap music has become popular again after years of being rightfully hated by any civilized member of society, I decided to join the fad and become a rapper too
>she sighs "anon please go back to sleep. It's 3 AM and I have to get ready for work in a few hours"
>"ay ay ay hoe, don't diss me, I'm here to give yo ass a concert," I feel like I'm doing very well at emulating a black person despite not having any experience being around one, "I call dis single 'Poopoo in da streetz,' I wrote it while I was in a very dark place"
>she massages her temples and sighs again
>i give her the best performance ever, it's a masterpiece of dancing, lyrics, and vocal music. I feel like it's worth a hefty reward of GBP
>I'm breathing heavily but I'm asking for the reward anyway
>she laughs, "you don't just walk in here, scream about hating the Jews between loud 'dun duns' that you make with your mouth and ask for points reserved for when you do something good."
>that whorebag is sitting there mocking me! Me! Her special little angel!
>i almost want to run back to my room crying and poopooing my pants out of embarrassment, but I decide to do what all black people do when their mummy's disrespect them
>i slapped her hard and she collapsed against the bed
>I take her hand and I write a 500,000 GBP coupon in her name with it
>I quickly waddle back to my room with it, farting frantically
>mfw I get more tendies and I'm super hip
>25 years old
>in Mcdonalds for their My Little Pony toy promotion
>get mom to order me 10 Happy Meals all with girl toys
>she looks at the ground and sheepishly says "But anon, you're getting a little heavy. Maybe you should only have 6 Happy Meals."
>stand on her feet and refuse to move until she complies with my order
>she cannot move and almost falls as she tries to pull her feet out from under mine
>the bitch begins to cry as she realizes I have trapped her, checkmate whore
>she quietly agrees that big boys need ten Happy Meals and she goes to pay for the food
>while she is ordering I get on my hands and knees, she hands the packages of food to me
>I grab the bags with my mouth and begin walking on all fours to the play area
>I slowly crawl up the slide, barely fitting whilst letting out enormous amounts of gas
>once I'm inside the main play area my flatulence has become to over powering that it even brought a tear to my eye
>the children playing inside begin to run out, complaining of the putrid smell
>I yell "get out normie scum! I claim this as the beta uprising headquarters!"
>I sit in the center of the play gym and begin to have a picnic with my happy meals
>I give each pony a bit of cheeseburger
>I'm setting up an awesome play story with my ponies when my bitch mom and the mcdonalds manager come into the play area
>"Sir we have been getting complaints about an adult in the play area. You must be under 8 years old to use it."
>tell him to fuck off
>mcdonalds employees begin entering the play structure
>my mom is yelling that she can reason with me but I don't negotiate with normalfags
>push my back against the wall and start kicking them as they come towards me
>all of the weight of the normie invasion plus my 350lb-self breaks the play structure
>I fall through to the ball pit, the entire structure collapses
>as the normies try to save a girl trapped under the structure, we escape
>mom begins crying in the van
>make her stop at Dairy Queen for dessert
fuck off to r9k you incel faggots, this shit isn't funny
>>768705826
When you were young
You were the king of chicken tendies
And how you built an empire in the KFC
In yummy dipping sauce pooling around your feet
And your mom would stick a fork right into those gold morsels
And feed you from her hand, her precious baby boy
As good boy points kept adding up till the next meal you'd try
Now this is the room
Your mommy said she'd always love you
And that she'd never want you to move out or go
Into the world, to get a chance to grow
And your dad would drink until he was half dead
And your mom would come up with brand new ways to fry
Those goldbrown nuggers without which you would certainly die
I LOVE YOU CHICKEN NUGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
CHICKY NUGS I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU YESSSS I DOOOOOOOOOOOO
I LOVE YOU CHICKEN NA-U-A-U-A-UGSSSSSSSSSS
CHICKY NUGS I LOVE YOU YES I DOOOOOO
From all the kinds I've tried
None of the dipping sauces lied
Whether they're breaded or they're fried
WITHOUT MY TENDIES I WOULD DIIIIIIEEEEEE
>>768676146
filename
>go to whataburger this morning with mummy for my daily tendies-brekky
>everything's going as usual
>there's a new employee at the drive-through window
>he says the tendies are being cooked and that i'll have to wait a few minutes
>mummy offers 5 GBP if i just let it slide
>accept her offer; should have played hardball in retrospect
>the person hands the tendies to mummy after SEVEN minutes
>says "sorry about the wait, here's your chicken strips"
>strips
>REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>scream "THEY'RE CALLED TENDIES YOU NORMALSCUM WAGESLAVE"
>mummy apologizes and explains my condition to the man
>he's visibly restraining himself from laughing
>cry to mummy about why life is unfair and blame her for giving me shitty genes
>she breaks down crying and gives me 10 bonus GBP
>better than usual tendies-brekky, couldn't have planned it better
she's still crying in the next room. think i can milk her for more points?
>>768697822
Very true, live the tales, been a long time since I have seen a thread of this caliber.
Excellent!
>be me
>mommy's big bouncing 490lb boy
>having a bubbly bubble bath in my reinforced steel tub
>making tendie flavoured bubbles from my poopy hole
>love feeling them tickle past my mighty 2 inch peepee
>squeeze extra to hard to make an extra big bubble
>suddenly the water turns to gravy
"REEEEEEE! MOMMY! I POO POOED IN THE BATHY TUB! NOW YOUR BABY YOU MUST SCRUB!"
>no answer
"MOMMY! THE WATER IS ALL BROWN AND STINKY! THERE'S TENDIE JUICE ON BABY'S WINKY!"
>still no response
>i lift my ample frame out of the brown smelly sludge
>it has rendered me covered in slippery poop juice
>slide my way downstairs on my belly to see mommy and another new chaddy daddy cuddling on the couch
"oh, anon... i thought you were still in the bath... didn't you play with that plugged in toaster i gave you?"
"BABY POOPIED IN THE BATH! CLEAN IT UP OR FEEL MY WRATH!"
"listen champ, your mom and i are trying to watch the movie. how about you go upstairs and give us some private time. you might wanna clean up too, you smell like shit"
>i can feel my tard rage building
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>grab my loot crate exclusive replica minecraft sword and strike chaddy daddy in the head
"that's it you fat little shit! you're gonna get it!"
>he charges and attempts to grab me
>my shitty coating has turned me into a slippery brown seal
>i slip out of his grip and waddle upstairs towards the bathroom
"got you now bitch!"
>he charges me again but slips on a stray turdie tendie which sends him flying towards my rusty brown bath
>hold his head under the kf sea of poop as he struggles to fight for air
"DRINK MY RANCID TENDIE JUICE, THEN YOU AND I CAN FORM A TRUCE!"
>suddenly he stops breathing
>he must be dead lol
>talk to mommy
"CHADDY DADDY DROWNED IN CRAP! NOW MOMMY MUST TAKE THE RAP!"
"sure anon, prison has to better than this"
>get tendies at the police station
>turns out the death penalty is legal in this state
>mommy BTFO
I guess she should've taken better care of her baby.
>wake up in my crib
>stretch out, my legs can barely fit between the bars
>as I move, I feel my poopoo sloshing around my diapers
>hmm, mommy seems to have forgotten to change me today
>my tummy rumbles
>look at clock besides GBP chart, 4:54 PM, almost time for my brekky
>I stand up in the crib and yell "RUMBLY-RUMBLY IN MY TUMMY, GIMME CHICKIE TENDIES MUMMY"
>no response
>mommy doesn't even care that her precious boy is hungies
>contemplate breaking my crib again, but I'm in a good mood since she since she gave me extra chickies yesterday at no GBP cost
>yell again, still no response
>keep yelling for about an hour until my throat starts to hurt
>struggle to move my portly frame out of the crib
>waddle downstairs, chanting "CRISPY OUTSIDE, SOFT INSIDE, MOMMY MOMMY WHERE'D YOU HIDE" with each step
>I can see mommy's shadow, she's in front of the telly sleeping
>sit on her lap, my poo poo leaks on her under my weight
>STILL no response
>this has gone too far
>start shaking her
>"TEN-DIES, TEN-DIES, TEN-DIES, CHICKIE-CHICKIE TEEEN-DIIIEEEES"
>amazing, she still hasn't woken up, the absolute NERVE of her
>notice she's holding a yellow tube, grab it
>it has small pieces of candy in it, but it's half empty
>selfish cunt doesn't even care that I'm a growing boy and need my sugar
>"be forewarned, mummy... this may suffice for now, but I expect tendies for din-din"
>lift tube and swallow all the remaining candy
>fall fast asleeps just like mummy
>playing some call of dooties tree
>my belly starts to rumble
>"Mommy I need some Tendieeeeeessss."
>"Anon, for the last time, you're on a diet and can't have fried food!"
>"But momeeeeeee! I have enough GBPeeeee!!"
>no response
>wait a few minutes
>Hear the "bump bump" of mommy walking down the stairs
>a tray slides through my flap-flap on my basement door
>mommy had it installed because "she couldn't bear seeing me"
>remove the neck of my poop jug from my anus
>been sitting on my poop jug as a chair all day
>it makes my peepee feel tingly
>wobble over my bedroom door
>look at the tray
>so taken aback by the horror on my tray that I fall over
>THE BITCH MADE ME BAKED CHICKEN
>clench fists hulk-style and start yelling "IM.... ANGRY"
>"ANON SMASH!"
>just like my hero, saitama, knock the basement door off of it's hinges in one punch
>start hobbling up the stairs
>have to stop on the 5th step because exhausted
>take a nap on the stairs for about 30 minutes
>continue making my journey up the last 3 steps
>get to the top, reminds me of rocky
>roll up to mommy, poopy butt leaving trails on the carpet
>"hello anon how was your dinn-"
>roll straight into her legs, knocking her to the ground
>"MOMMY FAILED TO COMPLY, NOW SHE ten-DIES"
>Start rolling on her like a steamroller
>hear her bones cracking from my beautiful curves
>"ANON NO PLEASE STOP!"
>activate "Muddy Lemonade" protocol
>start pissing and shitting as i roll over her
>"ANON ILL MAKE YOU TENDIES JUST PLEASE STOP!"
>I halt
>she crawls to the kitchen her broken legs dragging behind her
>see her pull a handful of what i think are tic-tacs from an orange bottle and put them into the milk for the breading
>I hate mint flavor!
>slither up behind her like a snake that has just eaten a elephant whole
>"PUT MINTS IN MY TENDIES, YOUR SPINE GOES BENDY"
>get mommy's head and bend it backwards so the back touches her butt
>she's limp
>have peepee fun friction time with her mouth
>roll back to basement and start playing CS:GO
>>768700330
https://youtu.be/XV5D2ZL0icM
Shock the mental illness away... this is honestly cruel...
>Stepdad Chad took me out for "bro's night" cause i overheard mommy telling him to
>Mommy said I needed male bonding and that she wanted Chad to take more of a father figure role
>It wasn't until we were in the car that Chad dropped the bomb that we weren't going to Wendies but to a new restaurant, Chad's favorite restaurant
>I reeee'd and stamped my feet and punched the dash. Chad told me to shut the fuck up or he would kick me out of his car and leave me in the snow
>I didn't bring any shoes, and I was really hungry from all my reee, so I decided to humor Chad until tendies were delivered
>I slide the back of my sweatpants down and made a little poo smear on Chad's cloth seat
>It was dark, so Chad had no idea my 300lbs+ was permanently grinding the runny poo deep into his car upholstery
>Chad rolled down the window and told me to stop farting in his car
>As we pulled into the restaurant parking lot i saw it was called Hooters
>Not a good sign. Tendies come from chickens, not owls
>"Order me my tendies", I told Chad
>Chad said he would also order me a beer too since I was over 30 but I said "no, choccy milk".
>He told me the don't have choccy milk so i reee'd a weak little reeee cause I was extremely famished and anyway they had Mountain Dew. Maybe this place wasn't too bad.
>WRONG.
>The tendies promised weren't tendies at all. THEY HAD BONES!
>I flung the nasty bonies and began to reeee and reeee harder than I had ever ree'd that night
>"I WANT TENDIES! I WANT TENDIES! I WANT TENDIES!"
>"TAKE ME TO WENDY'S NOW OR I'LL TELL MOMMY YOU TOOK ME TO A STRIP CLUB!"
>Someone said "Get him out of here. He stinks like shit and he's not wearing any shoes"
>They were talking about Chad, but Chad was wearing shoes. Even the people at this restaurant were stupid
>Chad put me in the back seat and took me home, but not before going through the Wendy's drive through
Checkmate. eating my tendies right now as I type this and I can hear mommy and Chad yelling at each other upstairs
>wake up on the floor at 3pm from a rough night of erotic asphyxiation
>body is covered in piss, shit, puke and jizz
>I use mummies cum encrusted panties I stole to clean myself up
>end up just smearing shit all over
>MUMMY MUMMY REEEE
>hear mummy make her way up the stairs
>"whats wrong anon?"
>as she walks into the room she slips on a stray cumrag
>as she falls over she smashes my prized Hachune Miku poop sculpture
>REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>I struggle to lift myself onto my feet for the first time in weeks
>my diaper leaks with weeks worth of digested tendies and a mixture of cum, piss, and disappointment
>I navigate my way to mummy through piles of garbage and shit
>a swarm of dormant flies rise out of the garbage and fill the room
>YOU'VE DONE IT THIS TIME MUMMY
>she struggles to pick herself up, slipping on piss and shit, "MUMMY IS SO SORRY SWEETIE PLEASE DON'T DO THIS"
>I remove my belt from around my neck and tie her leg to my bed
>YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE YOU COW BITCH
>I pick up my destroyed Hachune Miku sculpture and shove it in mummies screaming mouth
>she gurgles as she weeps and tries to ransom her life with promises of unlimited tendies
>after an hour long struggle mummy finally eats the entire statue
>I waddle back to my computer to continue on my path to reach my goal of 10,000 gameplay hours in CS:GO
>mummy sits on the floor in the fetal position weeping for the rest of the day
>finally untie mummy and tell her to get me tendies
>"s-sure h-honey"
>she disappears for a few hours
>waddle downstairs to see whats taking so fucking long on my god damn tendies
>mummy slit her wrists in the kitchen sink and then hung herself with curtain cords
who will make me tendies now? ;_;
>be me
>be 20
>be first day of high school (held back alot)
>mom drops me off
>she gets my rolling backpack full of fruit-snacks out of the trunk
>"are you sure you'll be okay here anon?"
>"yes mommy i am fucking fine"
>have one thing on my mind
>barely make it to the classroom before collapse in desk
>health class
>skinny fucking normies are staring at me
>obviously never played WoW
>next few classes breeze by
>finally lunch time
>shove my way through the line
>something smells familiar
>tendies
>holy fuck i cant waddle fast enough as the line moves forward
>lunch lady says "hi sweetie what would you like?"
>"how many good boy points do tendies cost, slut?"
>"excuse me, what did you call me? and what are good boy points?"
>ignore cumdumpster
>i grab 5 trays of tendies and waddle to the condiment station
>grab 10 containers of ranch dip
>take 3 bottles of coke and guzzle one on the way to lay down
>lay on floor
>i eat one tray of tendies and i get the urge to pee pee and poo poo
>piss in coke bottle and shit in the tendie tray
>entire lunch room is staring at me
>jaws dropped
>i fucking hate normies
>principal sprints over and yells at me
>"WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"
>he leaves for help
>shove the remaining tendies in my pockets and guzzle down my cokes
>principal and football coaches return and slowly hoist me up
>it took 5 of them
>poo poo the most ever in my life all over the principals shoes
>maintenance brings a golf cart with a bed on it to drive me to the office
>parked outside because they don't want to even try to bring me inside
>obviously normie principal tells me how disgusting i am
>i'm expelled from school and he calls my mom
>mom shows up furious and takes me home
>in the car she tells me
>"anon, I am taking away 500 GBP"
>"but i only have 100 right now you dumb whore"
>"so now you have -400 GBP"
>fucking cunt
>we get home and she sends me to my room
>mfw more tendies in my pocket than i could have gotten in one week
>great success
>its 3:45 am
>be putting my 47,927th hour into roblox jailbreak, my favorite game
>be robbing bank, collecting my 94 millionth robuck
>police man put me in jail me, instantly go into rage
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! MOMMY POLICE MAN KILLED ME!!!!
>smashing room
>break 1500 GBP gaming computer with a GTX 1080 designed to run my robwox at a silky smooth 60fps as to never die to poorfags
>mommy bursts in room, gagging from rancid stench of my pee pee and poo poo containers
>she starts breaking down and crying, not fixing my computer
>shit and piss all over her passed out body
>now i get a new computer for free, because she forgot to clean my diapey earlier
>new computer is even better
>next day find her swinging around on a rope, but i have access to the whole food container now
>motel people have been knocking on the door, but i am to busy playing robwox
>Up in the wee hours of Thursday morning
>been masturbating to Sailor Moon Crystal
>finish up and get the munchies
>Wake up mom at 3am
>Tell her i'm hungry for chicken mcnuggets and to go buy some now
>Says she has wake up early for work tomorrow (dumbass that's today) and she'll pick some up on the way home
>Fuck that
>Place subwoofer speakers against the wall facing parents room and blast this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPRF1gXh5VY
>She knocks my room door for 5 minutes meekly asking me to turn it off but I kick back and scream CHICKEN MCNUGGETS every time
>Finally she stops and gets in her car and comes back 40 minutes later with my mcnuggets
>Double 50 piece with extra dipping sauce plus an M&M McFlurry to wash it down with
>Furiously gobble the entire thing in four minutes
>Crash for 12-hours
>Wake up just intime to see mum home from work
>She's exhausted as hell but brought me the same order without asking just to make sure I don't wake her again
>I do anyway
Kek fucking normalfags
>Be masturbating to family photos of my mom from when she was in middle school
>Mommy comes in and sees
>Asks me to stop
>Stand up, still masturbating (Slowly, dont want to cum yet, but dont wanna have to start over)
>Explain that incest was just invented by normies to make it harder for superior-minded betas to get laid, and that only a fucking freak wouldn't be attracted to viable pussy when available
>She sighs and leaves, her eyes tearing up
>finally able to finish up, want some spaghetti
>Go downstairs and see mommy in kitchen
>Cooking roast chicken
>Screech at her and ask why she didn't make spaghetti
>Her answer is the final straw
>"What? You didn't ask for spaghetti."
>Lunge at her and punch the shit out of her
>She's out cold
>Shit on her whore face when she's down
>As she lays there, her pants ride up quite a lot
>See her ass clearly through her pants
>Mutter "Only a freak wouldn't be attracted to viable... viable pussy..."
>Don't want to lose virginity yet (saving for my highschool friend who I haven't spoken to in 17 years, still holding out hope we'll meet again and she'll have stayed pure for me too)
>Jerk off onto her ass instead, then write a note on the white wall of the kitchen in my own shit
>"Spaghetti. One hour. Or next time, I'll do it worse, then kill myself and blame you in the suicide note."
>>768710642
The keks start cumming don't stop cumming
Pocket full of tendies, pretend I'm Naruto running
>430 I’m the afternoon
>Wake up after marathoning rick and morty the night before
>Get up early to tug it to nick jr
>Make big boy mayonnaise on my hand
>Sweating like like a pro athlete after energetic jerk
>Hankering for some tendies
>Waddle over to gbp chart
>25 points
>Have enough to get a meal at McDonalds
>Mumsie just got home from her second job
>”Mommy your good little boy has enough points for a nuggie meal! Time for McDonald!”
>”Anon, I just got home, can I take a nap first?”
>Backhand her and explain AGAIN the agreement on the chart
>Mommy grabs her keys, tears in eyes as we go get my prize
>See they have mlp toys for kids meals
>Fuck, spent all my points on 20 nugs
>Start to reeeeeeeeeeee on the floor, until I see a girl with a twighlight sparkle toy
>Run up to her and beg to trade my shirt for it
>Stuck up little Stacy sloot starts to freak out and run away
>Chase after her with shirt half way over head yelling for the little cumdumpster to get back here
>Fucking chad dad gets up in my face about calling his sloot kid a cum dumpster skank and trying to rape her
>Explain I only want my twiley toy, chad, fuck off
>Get punches in face and fall to the floor
>Shit myself and cry for mommy to help her good little boy
>Mommy runs over, crying, apologizing to the chad, and saying I don’t know any better
>”Whatever, lady, that retard has to be in his thirties! Let’s go!”
>Takes his daughter and leaves, probably to fuck her galing vag, the whore
>Cry whole way home until mommy stops by Walmart and gets me a twiley plush
Feels good man
>>768684650
Why is that monkey butler named jesus?
>Be me
>Mom isn't an alcoholic, depressed sack of misery
>Dad is still home, supporting his family, loving me, his son
>They both have a wonderful marriage
>I run down the stairs whenever dad gets home, he hugs me and kisses my mother on the cheek, telling me that he’ll go play basketball with me if I waited for him to go change out of his suit and tie
>I go help mom in the kitchen with dinner, the house is spotless
>I go outside a bit later, best game me and my dad have played yet
>Best friend joined in halfway, amazing point guard
>Friend goes home, I’ll see him in school on Monday
>Dad and I go eat dinner with mom
>We play a board game after dinner and watch a movie
>Get a bit tired, mom kisses me goodnight and both tell me they love me
>Room is sharp and cozy
>Bed is comfortable
>Shelves lined with books and action figures
>Lay in bed thinking about how great tomorrow is going to be
>BATTERY LOW/BATTERY LOW/BATTERY LOW
>Take off my VR headset
>The musk and foul stench of my piss bottles reeks, making my nose hair coil
>My body pillow is corroded and eaten through with my semen
>Shelves are lined with hentai and Japanese figurines scattered about
>Rotten, moldy pizza boxes on the floor, 2 liters are being used for my bathroom breaks
>Mom bangs on my door, slurs something then returns back downstairs
>Opens the door to a piece of bread on the carpet that says “Happy 31st birthday”
>Closes the door
>Hear a gunshot and a thud come from my mom’s room
>Sit back on my bed
>Plug in my headset
>Try to sleep until it’s charged again
>be a big bouncy baby boy at the age of 34
>watching teen titians go and eating some yummy tendies
>tendies run out
>scream and poo poo my diapy for mommy to come
>tendie slut walks down to basement
>"Oh hi anon, what do you want?"
>"MORE TENDIES YOU STINKY CUNT"
>tendie slut starts to sweat
>"Anon, please, you need a job"
>"ARE YOU BACK TALKING ME YOU FUCKING SHIT EATING WHORE"
>the bitch sighs and starts to walk away
>i channel all my strength to stand up
>grab nearest full brown cum jar with waifu horse rarity soaking in it
>lob it at the cunts head
>glass explodes and my seed go everywhere
>it covers her face
>she falls down
>she hasn't moved
>ive been living off my own shit and piss and cum for a week because i cant go up the stairs
>be me, wake up at 5 pm
>excited for celebrating my 30th anniversary of being mommy's good boy
>roll out of my limited edition Cars 3 Lightning McQueen bed
>put on my Crocks and super man cape for my special day
>Just as I'm walking down the stairs mommy walks in the door with a strange brown man
>"you look like burnt tendies"
>"anon this is D'Shawn, he's going to be your new father, we're going out to dinner tonight to celebrate our engagement"
>bitch forgot about my special day
>hatch a plan
>before they leave I sneak into the back seat of mommy's station wagon
>my impressive girth causes the tires to deflate but they won't notice
>they get in the car and start driving to dinner
>thetimeisnow.jpg
>BEGONE CHOCOLATE DADDY
>my ree outburst startles him and causes him to slam into a tree
>over the sounds of mommy's sobs I can hear sirens in the distance
>new daddy is taken away in a special sleeping bag
>mfw I defeated the brownie king
>mfw mommy takes me to Chili's for chicky crispies for my special good boy anniversary
King of my domain
>>768676146
Summerfag spotted
>>768676146
suck on the end of this dick that cums lead
skeet skeet skeeet fagggot!!!!!!!
> be me 34 year old mama's bundle of pure joy
> she's loved me every day since she was 15
> been in bed all day thinking about tendies
> hear a loud noise from the kitchen
> maybe mama makes tendies for her boy
> gets all excited and waddle into the kitchen
> not without taking breaks in between every 2 steps
> all sweaty and greasy arrive in the kitchen
> mama seems to sleep with her face on the table
> lots of weird tasting ketchup and raw tendies next to her head
> stupid bitch fell asleep while making tendies
> grab the oddly shaped star wars blaster next to mommy and hammer it into the side of her head
> she does not wake up
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE until I shit myself
> still no motion
> go back to my room and put tendies from the table into the microwave
> still taste odd
> mfw mama is sleeping for 3 days now and starts to stink
> mfw she doesnt want to talk to her boy
> what did I do to upset mama
one of the few good threads on /b/
>Be Mommy's handsome prince and her only baby
>Asshole dad is always grumbling about my glorious NEET lifestyle
>Washed up wagecuck Chad, always bitching about being a FORMER marine and how his "brothers" have sons who have disgusting 3dpd slags and degrees and what the duck ever
>Asshole dad blows his dumb jock brains out
>I am next in the line of succession
>Scream for mommy to kick out all these stupid fucking mourners, it's time for my monthly washy washy
>Bitch comes up to my room, sniveling and crying, confused.
>"B-baby boy, I'm glad that you're being so good and taking your washy washy without a fight."
>Dumb whore does the scrubbies, I wince through as she lathers up my glorious big bones. I'm growing so big and so strong
>Stronger than her
>Time to consummate my new throne and make mommy my happy queen
>Grab her arm and throw her down
>She didn't know how strong her baby boy was but I can tell she's impressed
>Pull out my peep and she screams that she hasn't washed under my glorious uncut foreskin
>Too late. I'm almost halfway into her belly button in a flash. Feels right
>Finish my kingly duties in an impressive minute as mommy cries, presumably that stupid dead chad dad took so long to off himself
>"H-honey, let me finish cleaning you u-up..."
>GET THE FUCK OUT MOMMY WASHY WASHY IS OVER
>Dumb whore leaves, glazed in my kingly cream. I go back to glorious NEET life. She brings me tendies, as I am the new king.
>alarm goes off
>"REEEE REEE REEE, oh, it's just my alarm"
>bitch mom forces me to have one so i don't sleep past 1
>remember it's tendie tuesday
>a smug grin cracks into my face
>heave 460lb body out of bed and zoom down stairs
>catch mummy just as she's about to leave
>"MUMMY IT'S TENDIE TUESDAY GET ME TENDIES OR YOU HAVE TO FIGHT ME AGAIN"
>she winces and sheds a tear knowing how close she was
>"a-anon, i'm already late i have to go or mr. sheckleburg wil-"
>she already sees me nervously whining
>"sorry anon i have to go"
>charge her but the bitch dodges and flees to her room and locks the door
>i run up to it and pound on it
>YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL, BITCH YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL FOR ABUSING YOUR LITTLE BOY REEEEEEE WHEN I GET IN THERE YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD, DO YOU HEAR ME, BITCH!? DEAD!
>pass out from too much exercise
>wake up, she's gone
>groan, scream and tear the carpet out as i lay on the floor in despair
>plan to get back at her with what little sense i have in my primal rage
>throw that idea out, decide if i play nice good boy she'll reward me with tendies
>put blanket over torn carpet outside her room
>throw piss bottles out
>here the door jiggling
>put on my best good boy smile and wait for her to open it
>two cops walk in with her
>"that him?"
>"yes, take him away please for god's sake"
>teehee! who are these men, mommy?
>trying to contain the rage in me
>"yer gonna come with us son?"
>cry and kick but they muscle me to the car anyway
>three days pass and i stay in an institute
>get to go home with mommy
>she curses under her breath about them "not holding me further"
>give her the papowee of a life time when we get home
>her head cracked on the tile floor and she wouldn't get up
>eventually the landlord came and found her
>authority's find me hiding behind couch, crying
>have to go to a trial, they make me dress funny
>court ruled that i was innocent and had me plea insanity
>get sent to a home with other special people
>THERE ARE NO TENDIES HERE
>mfw
>like
>literally
>like
>oh my got
>literally
>like
>BLBL
suck on the end of this dick that cums
>like
>literally
LEAD!!!!!!!!!
>be me
>momsy is at work
>major craving for tendies
>I've saved my GBP for 2 days
>get on my electric scooter
>Go to place with playhouse and funny clown for tendies with new r&m sauce
>ask dumb bitch at counter for 50 tendies and lots of r&m sauce
>she says that will be 14.49.
>holy shit I have 50 GBP mumsies has been inflating the tendies price.
>I say ok. Dumb bitch at counter stares at me instead of getting my tendies.
>she asks "sir are you going to pay?"
>dumb slut get me my tendies I'll tell mumsies how many good boy points it cost
>no sir you need to pay for these. Dumb slut must never get GBP because she is so fucking stupid
>people start surrounding my electric scooter telling me I'm holding up the line.
>fuck off normies im trying to get some tendies
>other dumb slut places tendies of counter.
>I reach for tendies and stupid bitch pulls them away from me saying I still need to pay.
>wtfisthisshit.jpeg
>start screeching I want my tendies and funny r&m sauce you Fucking dumb slut give them to me you dumb cunt!
>guy tells me to stop screaming and calm down.
>fuck you normie faggot I want my funny sauce
>I start shitting myself because of this injustice.
> Shit starts to leak out of my diaper and on to the dickheads shoes.
>he shoves me away from him and tips my scooter.
>I start crying writhing in my puddle of piss and Shit on the floor.
>I just wanted my Fucking tendies and funny sauce
>police arrive and put on hurty bracelets
>get taken to bad boy building
>Mumsie arrives and takes me home. Picks me up lots of tendies and sauce from different place with playhouse and funny clown.
>eat tendies with funny r&m sauce
>tastes like shit.
>throw it out the window and demand ranch
>mfw
Idk why the fuck you normies are even talking about this shitty sauce it's not even worth all the effort to get it.
>>768676146
Newfag leave
>>768682540
Its good to have some variety.
>>768711955
Because Jesus brings deliverance,and the monkey is delivering Donald the thing he’s wished for for a long time
>wake up at 1pm
>already hungry so quickly go downstairs to kitchen
>see tendies on the table, clap my hands in excitement
>but something is wrong I never seen tendies like this before, they are cold
>shout to mommy to explain it
>she's not responding
>get a bit scared but realize it's monday and she's at work
>all this worrying made me even more hungry, but unfortunately tendies are still cold
>call mommy to ask for help
>she says she can't talk because she has a meeting, says to call her later
>stupid bitch
>im not calling her ever again
>start thinking about a way out of this hell
>remember about an episode of Scooby Doo where Shaggy set his food on fire using hot sauce
>thismightwork.png
>smear hot sauce all over my tendies, but to no avail
>probably sauce wasn't hot enough it only had 4 out of 5 peppers on scale
>can't think about better solution, getting really nervous at this point
>stress reminds me i forgot to use bathroom after waking up, really need to pee
>go back upstairs to pee and also poop
>poop ends up too big and clogs the toilet, water level in bowl starts increasing
>when looking for toilet plunger, I notice hairdryer next to sink
>mommy probably left it there when getting ready for work
>1+1=2.gif
>briliant idea is born
>run downstairs back to kitchen and plug dryer in
>aim right at tendies and start heating them up
>sauce spatters over curtains a bit, but my plan is working
>flip tendies and repeat for other side
>mere 5 minutes later the feast is ready
>with full belly go to living room watch some cartoons
>few hours later mommy gets back home
>can't wait to tell her how I dealt with problem on my own like a big boy and make her proud
>but she doesn't want to hear about my accomplishments
>instead she focuses on the messy kitchen and starts yelling at me
>don't even cry that much and go back to my room
>on my way there I notice water is flowing out of bathroom
>cloggedtoiletflashback.mp4
>decide not to tell mommy
>that will show her
>>768676146
OUT
>>768676194
OUUUUTTTTTTTTTT
>be me
>playing club penguin trying to hook up with bitches
>my mum comes in and says that after I lost her her job I should get a part time job
>I tell her to fuck off
>she sighs
>"I-i-t's okay, Anon. It's not your fault you're special."
>Stupid bitch. Why does everyone need to tell me that?
>Ffwd 1 month later
>now she just wears really red lipstick, fishnets and short skirt and goes upstairs every night with a male friend to play 'games' with a locked door.
>lying bitch, how can we still be poor and she can still play around?
>sometimes I hear beating and her crying.
>note to self: buy noise-cancellation headphones with GBP.
>my tummy is hungry
>I go upstairs and knock on the door
>"MUMMY YOUR BEST BOY IS HUNGRY. I WANT TENDIES."
>no answer
>I put my ear against the door
>hear them exercising
>faggots must have put in earpiece and listening to music
>no one fucks with my tendies
>go to backyard
>climb up tree outside mummy's window
>am big-boned but tendies motivate me
>see their silhouette behind curtain
>he's helping her do sit ups
>I am Enzio Auditore
>swing like pendulum and crash through window
>I roll gracefully and crash into mummy's drawer
>don't know why they're not wearing clothes, it's not that hot
>her friend is spilling mayonnaise on her face
>her male friend goes wtf
>he storms out and says he'll never "spend money on a stupid whore again"
>mummy just sits there and cries
>I bang on my chest and scream "I WANT TENDIES"
Tfw when she already left cooked tendies on the dining table before all that.
>5AM
>bitch of a mother is being loud as hell
>why can't she leave me in peace doesn't she know 3-6AM are fappy and nappy time
>I hear a loud thump
>reeeeeeee this bitch she can't do anything right
>I reeee at her until she just says 'sorry hun-huns'
>that's it, I can't stand this bitch anymore
>I yell back at her
>'I don't want a sorry i demand 50 good boy points and i will kill the hamster if you don't do it'
>fag op mom better deliver
>All this yelling has really been strengthing my peepee
>I decide I will man up i am a man now and I will follow through
>I grab the hamster which mommy gave to me something about turning 30 and being a big boy and learning responsibility
>she doesn't understand i am still a growing boy
>look at hamster
>the hamster has a large poopyhole
>le big idea.jpeg
>I say to hamster odds fap evens sleep
>I slide my hard peepee all the way into the hamsters asshole, casuing it to instantly spray blood averywhere from being torn open
>I guess two and 5/8 inches is too much for anyone to handle
>Oh man this is almost as good as tendies
>start to edge so I pull out
>hard peepee drenched in blood and tiny entrails
>Suddenly my door opens
>I forget to reee and instead my peepee shoots googoo all over mommy's nice work clothing
>'mommy you bitch get back in the kitchen i need tendies'
>I see her just fall on her knees and start crying
>I reeeee as loud as I can until she gets back up and runs away from my room
>Great now I have to scoop the peepee googoo'd into my peepee poopoo googoo jar
>why do i still let her live in this house
>>768676146
livestream taking calls right now
4158707076
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJinNiVHqHo
>Be me, working on my minecraft pony world
>mummy comes in, hands up in submission
>"a-anon... It's time for your doctors appointment..."
>look her dead in the face
>"if you make me go to that jew Doctor I'm going to shit in your fucking bed."
>"now anon, if you behave... I'll give you a triple Tendie meal from anywhere you want."
>sold, but resolve to give her as hard a time as possible to punish her for not just GIVING me the triple tendies for being her perfect little baby boy
>get in the car
>"oh boy mommy, I really do need to go to the docy docs! I am feeling so... Sick!"
>shit my big boy pants
>she screams at me to get out of the car so she can clean it, say no, docy docs now!
>she reluctantly drives me over, go inside office and wipe my shit on the Windows
>she apologizes, pays for damages and we wait for the doctor
>mommys shoe starts to dangle off her heel
>start jerking off
>mommy sees me and desperately whispers at me to stop before someone notices
>moan as loud as I can
>she's in tears now
>look her in the eye
>"Touch my cock, whore." I say loud enough for the whole room to hear
>she sobs loudly and shakes her head no
>pinch her nipple and twist until she agrees to gives me cummies
>Doctor calls me, immediately call him a kike
>spend whole checkup farting, pissing, and belching strategically to ruin the doctors day
>checkup finally ends, mom is still sobbing
>"triple Tendie time now mummy!"
>lets out a louder sob and rushes to the car, me in pursuit
>"wh-where do you want tendies from, anon?"
>tell her I want wendies tendies
>she takes me to wendies, and we discover, to her horror, that they only have nuggets now.
>REEEEEEEEE at her while pissing and punching myself
>she rushes me home and leaves me there, saying she'll be back soon with as many tendies as I can eat
>comes home 20 minutes later with 7 orders of Popeyes tendies
>smile and thank her
>she sighs with relief and decides to take a nap after her ordeal
>Left a surprise in her bed
>in my room browsing /e/ and deviantart
>mom comes in
>"anon, we're having company round later, could you please shower"
>remind her to call me shadow killer and tell her that water burns my skin (the only liquid I can touch is mountain dew)
>"o..okay shadow killer"
>throw a piss bottle at her to frighten her into never forgetting again
>5pm now
>ask my whore mom where my chicky tendies are
>there are people here
>"everyone this is anon" says my stupid dad
>scream at him that my name is fucking shadow killer
>everyone looks tense
>"hey anon, what are you into?"
>tell them that I like hentai, mlp and 4chan
>"what's 4chan anon?"
>that's it
>attack him with my blazing shadow technique while shouting that my name's shadow killer
>he dodges and I fall into the wall,smashing through because of my weight
>use my spell attack "mortem omnibus normies"
>"what's a normie?"
>grab the shitjug I was concealing under my trench coat
>smash it over the stupid cunts head
>shit's everywhere
>remember about my chicky tendies
>hurl myself at my bitch mom
>screaming CHICKY TENDIES!!!
>she's crying
>grab her by the hair and drag her into the kitchen
>say get to work bitch
>"anon, you're 28, can't you make your own chicken tenders?"
>smash her head against the oven while screaming DARKNESS PILEDRIVE
>there's a loud snap
>go back upstairs
>check deviantart messages
>can hear ambulance sirens outside
Fucking normies.
>>768676146
Newfag Alert!
