ITT: We'e gentlemen on an airplane until someone gets trips and they run out of champagne..
comfy seat lads
I regret ever starting this thread
A glassof champagne please.
Excuse miss, is there somewhere I can hang my coat?
Does anybody have a copy of SkyMall? There isn't one in my seat pocket. Do they even print SkyMall anymore?
I believe that someone brought their baby on board. Even in first class I can hear the overwhelming screeching of an infant.
Oh pardon me, I think there's been a mix up. You're in 12A I believe that's my seat. If you just look at my boarding pass here...
Oh sorry this is 11A???
Oh my stars. How embarrassing. So sorry old chap. Yes, 12A is this one. I see now.
>>768551109
Well I have some delicious food if you don' have that.. would you like some?
I would like some champagne, miss flight attendant!
Hi there I'm Brian, I'm from Cincinnati and I'm in insurance. So where are you guys from?
>>768551226
Do they have a halal option?
>>768551758
I don't think so, but they have milksteak!
>>768551647
My name is Samir. I work in exports. I am from... Cleveland.
Honey, is that Wade Boggs? No, I'm just gonna see if he looks at me, it's fine. Wade... WADE.... WADE BOGGS!
It's not him.
i always get trips
Was there not a man counting in another flight?
Single, double, triple.
Wow. The Notebook is going to be playing. I still haven't seen that movie. My wife loves it. She wants to watch it with me, but I don't think she will mind if I watch it on the flight.
>>768552110
SOOOOOOO close!!!!!
Table for 2? My good sir
>>768552222
what about quads?
>>768551885
Well nice to meet you Samir. I've got a brother up in Cleveland. Beautiful city. Tell me, you ever get down to Cincinnati much?
>>768552219
That isn't here, sir.
Also, quads means the plane hosts a party for all.
>>768552349
This, is correct.
Gentlemen, I believe that they have splendid food coming up right about now!
>>768552349
Uhhh, no. I do not like California. Excuse me, miss, how close to Washington DC will we be flying today?
Can I use my iphone still? Or does it have to be turned off? I'm always confused, the rules keep changing.
Gentlemen, they have some wonderful champagne coming up right about now, I cannot wait.
>>768552743
It must be off for now, sir..
Name's Buck Tunkerton. I'm a hellraisin' new-money oil man from Texas. How the hell are ya, sugar? How about you get me a glass of Old Grandad, straight up? *assaults the stewardess but she's cool with it because it's that kind of airline*
I'm going to visit my daughter. She doing so well at Vasser. We're really proud of her. Studying aeronautical engineering. She gets the brains from her mother, certainly not me.
>>768553268
That sounds splendid! I'm heading off to my son's wedding. He's marrying a daughter of Bill Gates himself. The wedding will be extravagant!
>>768551147
here's some sound canceling headphones fine sir *hands fancy item*
Is this the kind of airline where you can do the stewardess, or no?
>>768553427
Not at all, sir!
>>768553371
Fascinating my friend. So tell me again, how did you amass your fortune
>>768553427
RED ALERT, THIS GUY HAS A NORMIE MEME ON THE PLANE. I REPEAT, NORMIE MEME ON THE PLANE GET DOWN
>>768553427
Hell son, you slip them $50 and they'll even clean up afterwards
You know, you can just ask for banana ketchup and they'll give it to you! What a fine example of true culture in airlines.
I’m the pilot I got locked in the toilet
>>768553484
I attained it by a large baking franchise my wife and two daughters own together! Spread across the country. It's quite nice, they always bring home cupcakes and desserts.
Excuse me, can I get past you? Should use the can now before dinner starts.
Hi
>>768553491
Activate the P.E.P.E Anti-Normie Defense System!
>>768553624
sorry I'd rather you climb over me. No its okay go ahead.
oh crap guys I think i spilt the...
>>768553617
How utterly quaint, my fellow influencer.
Wowzer
>>768553811
How did you obtain your riches, might I ask?
Excuse me, sir. Do you know where this plane is going?
>>768553894
To Los Angeles in California, if I'm correct.
Gentlemen I am feeling quite queasy
>>768554035
Maybe you should have another sip of champagne. It calme the nerves.. here, have a cigar as well.
>>768554012
Excellent. I have much business in Los Angeles.
>>768554081
If I may ask, how did you amass your fortune?
I think we may be out of..
>>768553856
I invested into the arms market as well as the oil market, and my money began rolling in after the various middle eastern revolutions. I need to know my friend, does this make me a bad person?
>>768554175
Imports, exports, latex... Excuse me, I must go to the bathroom.
>>768554216
Fresh stewardesses? It's quite alright, just give them time to freshen up.
>>768554269
It does not make you a bad person at all! I might invest a bit now as well as tensions are rising ever so slowly.
>>768554339
I was going to say champagne, but a stewardess just gave me some.
Can you change my ashtray, little miss?
>>768553617
Excuse me, my friend. I believe you are in my assigned seat. I specifically requested seat 1C so I could easily and quickly get on and off the plane.
>>768554466
Fuck, look at those triple dubs. God damn...
>>768554466
I'm on 2B, sir. You must be mistaken.
I come in, I fuck shit up, then I leave.
When, may I ask, will the in-flight motion picture begin?
>>768554395
No worries, my companion. Cheers!
>>768554585
Nvm I’m gonna kill myself
>>768554585
How immature
I do hope we are able to make the destination in time
>>768554395
No worries, my companion. Cheers !
>>768554637
Asss
>>768554561
No, I believe YOU are the one who is mistaken sir. This is just like your people to take something that belongs to my people and claim it was yours in the first place. I have no patience for you, son of Abraham.
>>768554596
Right about now.
>>768554686
Look up, it says 2C, sir.
Excuse me, I have specifically inscribed on my boarding detail interface online, that I wanted Matsuzaka beef, not Kobe. Can you kindly change it?
>>768554683
sir, I do believe that is quite inappropriate for the current situation.
Oh dear, this stripshow is quite dull...
O
>>768554686
Amal, MY FRIEND! Our seats are back here, on the wing! Please, buddy, do not upset the beady-eyed ones. They have great power in Los Angeles.
Has anyone seen the stewardess? I am in need of refreshments!
>>768554795
Ah, Samir, did you not tell me that our seats were up front?
>>768554347
Wise advice. How are your stocks?
N
>>768554864
No, my friend. Surdesh and Muammar have the two front aisle seats. Please, take your seat. I have ordered us the halal meal.
Excuse me stewardess, can I get an extra pillow?
>>768554864
Excuse me, may I cross to my seat my good fellow?
Single, double, triple, quadruple, quintuple, sixtuple, uuuhhh, octuple, nontuple, dec something.
Cabin attendant, this Japanese gentleman is having a seizure, it seems that he requires immediate medical attention.
>>768554855
Is that what you call it where you are from, Sera?
Y
why haven't we kicked the niggers off the plane yet
>>768551226
The sad thing is that I'd probably eat that shit up>>768551368
>>768555027
You may cross my lap, my friend. My medically prescribed backbrace prevents my front standing. But please, I must ask you, do not touch me, under no uncertain circumstances.
Excuse me, there is a 555555 knots heavy cross wind approaching, everyone should start bracing rather soon.
>>768555160
Everyone should fasten their seatbelts... It may get bumpy, wouldn't want any of you fine fellows to come under harm
when shall the cock fight commence my dear fellows
>>768555225
I do believe it will begin after the in-flight movie
>>768555064
Stand back! I'm a doctor. Ah, it seems this man was watching anime with his face too close to the screen. Best to just let him... shake it out, I guess. I got my medical degree in America, not Japan. I don't know how these people work.
Literally taxiing for trips
now gentlemen shall we open another bottle of wine
>>768555275
I believe in this situation, we are to swear at him profusely in his native tongue
*Whispers under robe*Remember, Samir, when our clocks read 555555, we take the plane
>>768555320
Napa Valley. Very nice.
Have a friend in Sausalito. Beautiful part of the world.
>>768555341
DAMMIT MAN, I'M A DOCTOR NOT A LINGUIST!
perhaps this flight my take off earlier my dear sirs
>>768555347
Well thats just silly, chap.
>>768555377
Truly.
>Ladies and gentlemen, we have been informed that our plane will go right through a sextuple cumulus cumulus. Please be seated, open your window blinds, put your seat to an upright position and close your tray tables.
>>768555419
Oh dear, is it?
>>768555406
Mind your own business, Abraham
Be another gentleman in this parlor?
Well? Would you guys like a Log shaped feces pile for dinner?
will this cock suffice for the flight
That reminds me. I've left my Grisham in my bag. Can I just reach up to the overhead. It's a great book, about a southern lawyer fighting corrupt county officialls. Except it goes all the way up to Washington. Can't put it down.
>>768555443
> 443
One off!
NOW WE STRIKE, AMAL!
>>768555513
My Lord, how absurd your cock is
I do hope we get to see one of those so-called "aloha snackbars" i've been hearing about
>>768555538
Please, ignore this, my friends.
Thou trips effim
GET.
>>768555424
can i go to the restroom?
Hold on mUammar
i feel it coming back
>>768555559
We missed our chance, my friend. Perhaps we should just enjoy our flight. Samir, tell Muammar and Surdesh to prepare for plan B
>>768555559
I think your friend is unwell. Does he need a doctor? He seems a little agitated.
>>768555564
Must you leave now? We were just about to begin our game of Chess!
lads how are we today
Gents, look at these fine lotto numbers. >>768555555
>>768555610
Plan b OK. Inshallah
>>768555564
I told you to go while we were eating at the Chilis To Go, Muammar. You always do this.
>>768555555
Dear passengers, we are through the cumulus, please remain seated until our captain switches off the seat belt sign.
i say we should hunt while we wait
>>768555665
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT
>>768555664
>>768555665
(This is nerve-wracking. So effing close)
>>768550796
Slap subs
Listen to SLAPSUBS by Young Cappi #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/user-654527299/slapsubs
Listen to WishWosh by Young Cappi #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/user-654527299/wishwosh
>>768555619
He is fine. He had some bad chicken chipotle crispers at the Chilli's To Go.
>>768550796
Listen to SLAPSUBS by Young Cappi #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/user-654527299/slapsubs
Listen to WishWosh by Young Cappi #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/user-654527299/wishwosh
>>768555745
Now we strike, Amal?
>>768555685
Sir, I would like to ask you to mind your language. I know you are frustrated, but please mind your manners!
>>768555763
Mind YOUR manners, wench. Where is your husband?
Wish me luck
My, what a beautiful sight you can see from this height!
"Passengers, this is your captain speaking. The ride never ends."
>>768555841
Oh likhaim. Of course I can help. Hello sir I hear youre not very well. What's the problem?
>>768555841
ALL IS WELL
>>768555907
i MUST ASK THAT YOU DO NOT TOUCH MY FRIEND. yOUR GRUBBY KOSHER PAWS ARE NOT HALAL
>>768555999
GOOD LORD MAN, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
>>768555999
WE STRIKE NOW MY BROTHERS, WHILE THE CHAMPAGNE IS EMPTY
>>768555999
FAG, FUCK OFF DUMB FUCKING CUNTS
Such wonderful weather in Alabama right now.
ALLAHU AKBAR!
>>768555999
IF ANY ONE OF YOU FUCKING PRICKS MOVE, I'LL EXECUTE EVERY LAST FUCKING ONE OF YA, YOU'RE DURN TOOTIN!
foolish mortals
NOW!!!!
ALLALALAAALLLAALAHHHJJ!!!!
ATTTACCCKKK
>>768550796
spam TTS "the bomb has been planted"
Fucking Mr. Bones!!! We're FUCKING FUCKED!
>>768555999
Let it begin.
LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA
>>768555999
Hello. This is the caption speaking.
There was.... (punch).... some problem but now.... (scuffle).... all things under control. Please stay quiet..... (throat slit)....and calm. We will be flying to Los Angeles and Dodger Stadium.
>>768556158
Thank god we missed that second tower then, huh?
Hijacking a thread by hijacking a plane. I like this guy's style.
>>768555999
YOU MUST ALL REMAIN QUIET.
PLEASE SEATING AND THERE WILL NOT HURT YOU
>>768556222
SECOND TRIPS. WE ARE NOW OUT OF THE HALAL MEAL
wew i can see the sky from up here
Welp, shit's fucked lads. Time to go into overdrive.
>>768556257
Nigger
Wait, what is that outside the plane?
Oh my God Barbara.
I'm on the plane. It's been hijacked. I can't talk, tell Jenny I love her.
Huh??
What???
I don't know, I'm sure i let them on the kitchen bench this morning. Maybe Kevin took the keys?
What? Your iCloud password? Try happybunny69.
Did it work?
Did you do upper case or lower case?
Whaddaya mean you don't know? Big letters or little letters.
>>768556335
It's a bird...
>>768556222
Woohoo! We got control of the plane back!!!!!!!
>>768556222
TAKE THAT MU-HAM-MAD.
USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>768556413
n o t s o f a s t
>>768556409
You fucking nigger, it's clearly another plane
>>768556475
Hello LAX?
Can you help us. We we're hijacked but we've killed the hijackers. The pilots dead, we don't know how to fly the plane.
>>768556496
Kapow. Fuck a goat.
>>768556511
You're both fucking retarded. It's Superman. He waved at us and everything after he saved us from crashing into the Dodgers... Now let's storm the cockpit and get those god damn terrorists. UNITED 93! UNITED 93! UNITED 93!
>>768556511
top kek
>>768556592
kabow 2: electric booglaoo. eat a bacon and get a parasite
>>768556222
Ok you guys keep an eye on these Arab dudes. Make sure they stay tied up. I think the other three are dead.
Howany passengers are hurt?
Mmmmm sir?
I think this passenger plane is off course.
>>768556717
Miss you'll be ok. Let me have a look at that cut. How far up your thigh does it go?
Guys, I think the Japanese guy isn't doing so well... He keeps m uttering to himself about Superman saving the plane. And I think he called me a nigger.
>>768556780
as far as you need it to go
>>768556793
the cook's down? who's going to make chop suey?
>>768556848
I've got it covered
>>768556848
I'LL TURN YOU INTO CHOP SUEY
>>768555999
>>768556222
Fuck you guys!! This is how i'm goin' out!!!
>>768556893
you appear to be of sand nigger descent. i assume you can cook halal?
don't worry guys, ain't no muhfuckin terries takin no more muhfuckin lives on this gotdayum plane.
>>768556942
Sir, I told you to stop dressing up like one of the attendants!
>>768557054
sorry bro, it's just so hard to quit trapping cold turkey
>>768557035
SIR I TOLD YOU TO REMAIN IN THE CENTER OF THE CABIN AND STOP FUCKING MOVING
>>768557054
Is this 'Air Chan' or not?
>>768557378
Fuck I'm stressed after that little drama. I'm next dude ok. Don't take too long with her either. There's a line forming behind me
