So I just found out I'm part Jewish by ancestry...
>what do, /b/?
quick, kill yourself while there's still time
>>768490355
Nothing. They won't accept you as one of them. You'll still only be a convert.
Kill yourself
acquire shekels
>>768490355
Carry on with your life as before. Continue getting dubs.
>>768490833
How does one acquire shekels? I sure could use some...
>>768491075
I'll sure try, anon...
So? And what's 'Jewish' ancestry? When did a religious beliefs become an ethnic or race? Go back long enough we all had some sort of Semitic ancestry.
>>768490355
Tits or Auschwitz
>>768490355
welcome to the family. you have a rich history. read about it and enjoy it. its one of a kind.
>>768492180
>When did a religious beliefs become an ethnic or race?
It has been both for quite a long while now...
>>768492704
Not a femanon, newfag...
>>768493754
I'd really like to explore the culture, but there are so few jews here...
Tits or gtfauschwitz
>>768490355
Rule the world like your suppose to
>>768490355
try to get a refund on the test
>>768490355
>I'm part Jewish
OH FUCK, OH FUCK, OH FUCK, YOU SHOULD.. YOU HAVE TO - uh, what's the problem, Anon?
>>768490355
is it from your mom's ancestry?
if it is then you are 100% Jewish by religion
>>768495016
K... Where's my office?
Come home. We are waiting for you.
>>768495510
Actually, I was raised non-denom Christian, but we left the church when I was about 12 because the new pastor was a sheisty thief...
>>768495590
I always wanted to go to Israel, tbqh... Having been US Army Infantry, I kinda really wanted to meet some IDF babes, and train with some IDF grunts...
Hardcore people, them IDF grunts... Hard fucking core...
>>768490355
Collect payment
>>768490355
kys dirty jew
>>768495679
I meant that by Judaism, the decision of whether you are Jewish or not is set only from your mother's side.
if your mom is Jewish then by Judaism your are 100% Jewish, you can even get Israel citizenship.
Use your jewism to get shekels and repay western nations for the fake Holocaust and crazy amount of reparations
>>768496765
Sweet!
>>768496784
Fuck you, give me shekels for killing my people en masse during WW2, you national socialist fuck!
>>768490355
>go to occupied Palestine
>put on your kike costume
>slaughter every Jew you come across until there are none left
>give the key to the city back to Palestine
>go down in history as the first Jew who wasn't a colossal piece of subhuman trash
>>768497564
I've yet to meet a human who wasn't trash....
>>768497120
I killed 200 gorillian Jews in the Holocaust I'm a ss officer
>>768498787
Man, you're old as shit, anon! How are you even on the internet!?
>>768490355
Im not joking, jusmp head first into a turn on oven and never come out again.
>>768490355
How does it feel to know there's nothing different about you than yesterday and it only matters to people in this particular special needs group we're both currently attending?
>>768499028
Smok’n hot German babe
Kek
NUTZIS LOST THE WAR BECAUSE PUSSY FAGGOT BETAS AND NOT CHADS
kek
>>768499237
>jusmp
CONGRATULATIONS ON PROVING THE RETARDED STORMTURD MEME
>>768490355
an hero
>>768493754
kek
>>768490355
OP, these shitstains are jealous of your blessings. You are among the Chosen. Watch them spergout but feel pity for the sadsacks.
YHWH opened this door for you. You’d be a fool to reject.
Go talk to a reform or conservative rabbi. Learn firsthand about the faith of your ancestors.
>>768499365
Society dictates your place in it, anon... It may not matter to many, but it does to some...
Honestly, it's really fun reading peoples' reactions to certain things...
>>768499558
This.
>>768499931
>You’d be a fool to reject.
Figured as much, hence the thread...
>Go talk to a reform or conservative rabbi. Learn firsthand about the faith of your ancestors.
I may just have to do that. All I know of Judaism is what Wiki and Christians have taught me...
>>768500073
Christians are pagans. They use a corrupted “translation” and worship a literally different deity.
I honestly don’t say that demeaningly. Most Christians are righteous gentiles, are good, well meaning people, as are Buddhists, etc.
But you simply cannot ask a Christian to explain Judaism and not at least verify with a rabbi.
Once you realize the translations are wrong, then ask yourself: What truth are they trying to hide?
>>768500073
as a jew i dont really recommend going to a rabbi...
the jewish religion can be really heavy and it might overwhelm you if you will learn it from an orthodox jew.
if you are interested tho i recommend you this:
http://www.jewishagency.org/experience-israel/program/283
its a 10 day trip and completely free of charge.
>>768500939
>a rabbi
>orthodox
Fallacy. There are MANY rabbis not orthodox. I.e., reform or conservative.
Non-orthodox Judaism is typical in the US, for example.
OP coming from a Catholic background, so some important concepts need correcting.
>>768490355
being Jewish, you're rich.
being rich, you can buy 4chan for 10x its market value. hiro will happily oblige, especially if you send him also a huge gaydildopenis as welcome gift (omiai).
then, buy 4chan, and ban gay threads (including but not limited to: rate my dick, traps shit, g/fur, /lgbt/, trannies, whatever. literally ban every fucking IP address posting even a single line of gay-related shit.
then 4chan success will literally moon, and you'll become even richer than your Jewish uncles, and everyone will blame Jews knowing perfect ways to make easy money, and you won't be giving any fucks because some anonymous anon told you the trick.
>>768490355
kys
>>768501399
>OP coming from a Catholic background, so some important concepts need correcting.
Non-denom, actually... Protestant-ish... But you're most likely right...
>>768501531
Kys 1st
>>768501671
My bad. Sincerely wish you happiness, anon. Shalom bro.
>>768501399
my bad. im from israel and 99.9% of the rabbis are orthodox, so i forgot that can be a thing
>>768501420
>being Jewish, you're rich.
Unfortunately, I'm not... At all...
>buy 4chan, and ban gay threads
A lot of shit would be gone if I owned 4ch... Not gay explicitly, but plenty of shit-tier shit would be a thing of the past...
>>768501420
You sound too smart. Better check your ancestry, too. I bet Jews in your line.
>>768501966
Thanks, based anon!
>>768502313
Is cool, brother. I get it.
>>768490355
DNA test, how?
You make a fuck ton of money and have everyone hate you for it, while blaming you for everything they don't like.
>>768490355
Shouldn’t change anything......
>>768490355
If you found out by "Genetic testing" congratulations, that means nothing. 23 and me has been outed as giving everyone a small result as Jewish and African.
Plus "Jewish" will get flagged if you have any European or Middle Eastern DNA in you at all.
Semitic Jews, Sephardic Jews, and Ashkenazi Jews cover about 99% of those areas.
So enjoy being told your Jewish because you have DNA that is found in Europe or the Middle East.
>>768502413
impossible
I've always been bimbopoor
>>768502753
Found myself circumcised and with 81 million dollars in my bank savings. Also, my menorah on the table, mezuzah on the room door, and various tickets to AIPAC conferences... You know, some little suspecting ensued.
>>768503094
Was the second result, actually... 74% Scandinavian, 23% Eastern European Jew, the rest were traces of Europoor...
>>768504101
Post face.
I'll tell you if you're quarter ashkenazi.
>>768494800
yea, not too many of us here. be proud of who you are! dont listen to these neckbeards.
>>768490355
Be thankful as they have some of the highest IQs a round.
>>768494502
Everyone knows Jewish men grow tits too
>>768504474
Wrong, Israel's average IQ is 95.
>>768504369
The Jews have a 2000 year long history of being terrible people.
They are essentially successful gypsies.
Communism (Marxism) is a Jewish invention, and all suffering under communism should be attributed to them to an extent as a result.
Also all of the horrors of WW2 and the effects of it should be borne on the shoulders of the Jews.
The Soviet Union was started and helmed by Georgian Jews.
The UK and the entire banking system of Europe was run by Jews and their usury is what actually caused Germany to break free.
In just 12 years Germany kicked the kike banking out of their nation and had the biggest economic turn around in all of recorded history.
The Jews had been bitching and moaning about much 6 million and muh shoah since the 1880's.
They were itching to found the nation state of israel, and they were itching to get Jewish banking back into Germany.
Churchill and Patton both admitted that Germany wasn't the enemy, the Soviets were.
The Balfour Declaration is proof positive that the UK government was being lead by Zionists.
you're not jewish unless your mom is jewish
why are people replying to this
>>768490355
>>768490446 This
The damage will be inrepaireble when you start craving money.
>>768504834
go back to /pol/
>>768504217
I don't post stuff like that to /b/...
>>768490355
>>768490355
Fumigate and Masturbate
