Hey, /b/. I'm very lonely. Could we talk for a while?
nah
>>768449920
Don't you ever get lonely from time to time?
Are you a guy or grill
>>768450044
Does it matter, Anon?
Guess not whats up im down to talk
>>768450158
A lot of stuff. Someone I like doesn't like me back and I got too used to chatting with them all day and night.
>>768450273
Yea I know that feeling, thats why i stopped trying to get connected with people, they always leave one way or another
>>768450436
Isn't that the weak thing to do rather than trying your hardest to fix the situation?
Hey, I get sad and deppreased and long sometimes. Ill provide message you at chatcrypt if you'd like to talk in private.
>>768450273
You lived, you loved, you lost. Move on to someone else.
>>768450655
Okay.
>>768450507
Yea but i dont want to go through the effort, besides i got myself and you anons that i never get too attatched too
>>768449900
>>768450695
I don't like that notion.
>>768450730
So maybe next time don't put effort in.
Oof. I know EXACTLY how that feels.
>>768450760
Yea i dont anymore
>>768449900
Okay. Go to chatcrypt, room /b/ Password: ronin
>>768450829
Yeah, so just be a huge cunt or something. People think that's deep.
>>768449900
sure bud, just had an acid trip today by myself and I feel the loneliness
>>768450874
I dont care about what others think
>>768450893
So acid doesn't help. Okay.
>>768450945
How can you tell?
>>768450863
There was no one there.
I just created it.
>>768450044
Based on that adam's apple I'd say guy
>>768450986
I havent talked to a another person personally in a year or too
>>768450044
That got a sensible chuckle. The resemblance is uncanny
>>768451092
>>768451114
Maybe I smoked way too much ganja in my teens.
>>768451113
You must be a wizard by now.
>>768451113
That's because you're a tranny. I don't talk to the crazy hobo wandering downtown either as mental illnesses make for shitty conversation.
>>768451283
What the fuck are you even talking about, you daft cunt
>>768451216
One day i will, but im just an incel right now
>>768451343
Try picking up smoking and talking to random people about how bad it is to be a smoker.
>>768451283
Im not a tranny im straight, i got my porn
no one ITT is a tranny
>>768451491
I wouldnt be so sure about OP
Stop being cunts. They're asking for help
>>768451565
That's mean, /b/, I thought you were Fred.
>>768451427
Ill take a pass on the lung cancer but thanks for the chuckle
>>768451658
Better here than irl
>>768451784
You could make me unroastable, just sayin'
>>768451690
Well just go outside and say random shit to people. Worst case scenario they'll tell you to move along sir,
>>768451912
Eh ill pass on on talkin to people
>>768452021
Don't you want to do that fight club thing anymore that you promised to yourself you would do when you would have lurked enough?
>>768452097
Havent seen fight club
DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB
>>768452168
what the fuck are you even doing here you fucking newfag
>>768452200
I THOUGHT THAT ONLY WORKED IN THE FIGHT CLUB UNIVERSE AND IRL YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT /b/
SIR YES SIR DO NOT TALK ABOUT /b/ SIR!
>>768452210
I dont watch it just too piss people off
>>768452310
So fight club is cool AFK then right?
>>768452330
I did that with Inception.
>>768452378
I love watching people get mad over a movie
>>768452422
I thought watching movies was better.
>>768452457
I do watch the movies but tell them i didnt
>>768452522
Woah, calm down Satan.
>>768452570
I am a being above beings
>>768452650
Do you have money?
>>768452692
I have mommies credit card
>>768452723
Do you plan on comitting suicide?
>>768452806
Soon enough i will, got anything in mind
>>768452871
No, I just want to make the world a better place.
>>768452928
Haha thats so funny
>>768453030
Just kidding, I want someone's hand to slip over the nuke launch button.
>>768453162
Im sad north korea is making peace with everyone and not peace with the urge to hit the big red button
>>768450273
If they didn't like you why'd they keep chatting you up???
>>768453267
I totally get you, Anon, that's exactly what I was just thinking.
>>768453311
They want to be friends.
>>768453332
I was going to enroll in the army and end my life doing something heroic in battle
>>768453364
Oooo soft rejection is the worst, sorry Anon. On the plus side you seem fairly cute so I'll bet you land someone eventually.
>>768453414
You could just get a helium tank.
>>768453464
Oh hell, no, now I want to wreck their entire life.
>>768450273
Hahh. To be honest that sounds a lot like what my current problem is. I got in too deep and now they’ve moved on without looking back and I’m still miserable and can’t stop thinking about them even 2 months later.
>>768453465
Yea lets light that shit up like fireworks
>>768453596
Sounds very familiar.
>>768453480
I'm confused,, what're you hell no-ing??
>>768453625
I don't like fireworks because I'm always thinking about something deep and then fireworks start like "you understood that here's a celebration"
>>768453635
>soft rejection
Got triggered.
>>768453735
Nice try, FBI.
>>768453596
at least you haven't been messaging a dead person for 3 years
>>768453705
Ohhhh I feel you, have you considered casual sex? I'm not joking, it really helped me get over a similar situation.
>>768453793
Dude. Yeah.
If I killed myself that could get back at that person. But what if someone else died and... wait that doesn't make sense.
I'd say "find someone else" but I know what it's like when you don't want to.
>>768453912
Let me put it this way:
An average girl asked me for a cigarette and I told her I would only give one to her if she bled from her knees IYKWIM.
>>768453629
Yeah? It’s not an uncommon story I guess, but that doesn’t make it any easier. It’s hard coming to terms with the fact they were more important to me than I was to them.
>>768453793
Oh wow, no that sounds... interesting to say the least. What’s the story?
>>768454022
What if you get leverage and make yourself interesting?
>>768454022
short story is I'm too interested in the human psyche for my own good and I ended up meeting someone that was so fucked up in the head that a lifetime wouldn't have been enough to satisfy my curiosity but still, 6 months were enough to make me just as fucked up as that person and I guess they kinda slipped when they realised that, which in the end mean they were probably more human than me because I still can't feel any regret for my actions
>>768454199
I could I guess, but really more than anything I just want to move on or meet someone new or anything else really. I don’t feel connections with people very easily and there was one there between us and it made me feel for what seemed the first time in a long while. Then they cheated on me, told me I hadn’t ever been anything more than a ‘possibility’ and have proceeded to ignore me ever since. I can’t reconcile with that, I don’t think I want too. But some kind of weird feelings are still there and I can’t get them out of my head.
Sorry for a long reply, but it does wonders just getting it out there somewhere I know they can’t see it.
>>768454540
Interesting indeed.
>>768454552
I bet there's a way to bring justice about.
>>768454540
Ah, sorry anon. That sounds intense and strangely enough I can relate to it. My someone was pretty fucked in the head too, but so was I and that’s one of the reasons we clicked so well so quickly. Both of us have BPD and that makes for an insanely intense dynamic so even though the whole thing lasted ~6 months, it’s left me with so many scars I kinda wish I’d never met them. I don’t think that you’re any less human though for feeling apathetic towards them, maybe a little callous but not much more. It’s hard to feel sympathy for someone that takes and takes from you until you’re tired and dry. You probably need time and healing just like me, and would probably benefit from meeting new people; ones who aren’t so fucked up.
>>768454924
What if you could instantly unfuck them?
>>768454662
Maybe. I keep going back and looking at their social media and every time I see how well they’re doing I get equal parts hurt and angry. I don’t want to be the kind of person that tries to ruin other people’s happiness, but I’m also wary of how many others they’ll hurt. I don’t think they’re the kind to learn the lesson that others have feelings too lol.
>>768455016
I’d do it in an instant. I still have strong feelings for them and no matter how badly they hurt me or how bitter I get at times, if I could help them I’d do it. They don’t want me or my help though, not anymore.
>>768455097
What would you do with them?
>>768455182
How would you do it even if they didn't want to?
>>768454924
Probably I should have explained a bit more, but I don't regret what happened and I don't hate that person either because it wasn't really their fault they were like that and if I could still have feelings for anyone it'd be them, I also can't really express it with words but I'm way beyond healing; let's just say some things are like santa, you believe in it until you realize it's not true and no matter how hard you want to you can never believe in it again
>>768455244
Can we kill Santa for everyone at once?
>>768455355
I think that'd be the end of the world
>>768455194
Idk, something underhanded. Try and undermine their relationships and send them back to me but thinking those things make me feel sick and manipulative. I’d never do it.
>>768455230
I wouldn’t. They can’t get better if they don’t want it and they’re not self aware enough to realize what kind of impact they have on others.
>>768455411
Let's get it!
>>768455429
Didn't work. Thanks.
>>768455429
How do you cause self awareness.
>>768455244
I understand that, I piled a ton of idealizations and romanticizations on top of my person and it was only so long before they hurt/disappointed me. I can’t go back to that ignorance I had before, not now that I’ve seen their true colors and how quickly they can just switch off.
>>768455467
I’m not sure how you’d cause something like self awareness... honestly something like pulling out the receipts would probably be the most logical thing. Show what just kind of effects they have; who they’ve hurt, why the way they’re acting is wrong. That’s the best I can think of.
>>768455665
I'm talking about psychology. Think "hit it from the back".
I'm lonely af to... I suffer from voices in my head as well as mpd. Problem is none of them talk to me. I know they're there... Makes me so mad sometimes
>>768456165
So do something interesting that would get their attention without breaking the fourth wall.
>>768450623
>>768450414
>>768450273
Just fyi, don't post all these ambiguous androgenous pictures, its obvious you're a guy but it discourages people from talking with you.
I personally find it distasteful and the only reason im entertaining this thread is because Im drunk and cathartic.
>>768456492
I'm actually trying to gather a euthanasia suicide fund to afford a helium tank.
>>768455467
I'm afraid I'm too lazy to go santa hunting
>>768455529
Thing is I had already stopped dreaming about anything when I met this person but I went from that to knowing that all feelings are just pointless and don't serve any real purpose, maybe it'd be hard to assimilate for someone "normal" but those 6 months were like a shock therapy involving an existential crisis every day or two. The bad part is I know perfectly well that I'm completely fucked up but the worst part is that I don't care about it, if magically all my family dropped dead the first thing that'd come to my mind is "how much inheritance am I getting?" or "who's going to finish paying the house now?", I know that's not how it's supposed to be and most people kinda do it unconsciously but I couldn't ask myself the good old "why is this happening to me?" like everyone does knowing that's just a stupid rethorical question, I actually need to force myself just to look like I'm feeling anything
>>768456763
I think we have collective depression.
>>768456575
yeah well shit. Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Some people get depressed and attempt suicede in too short a time frame. I've been depressed for years. Im determined to see the next solar eclipse before I end it all. I missed the last one because of clouds (whole day was overcast, travelled hundreds of miles to see it and it fucking rained all day. I saw nothing. I just want to die but the fucking clouds and my ties to my family won't let.
>>768457060
Wanna contribute?
>>768456860
Seems you don't get it, I'm not depressed, the one and only time I ever was depressed I spent a good 5 seconds contemplating suicide before I realized how stupid it was and that I wouldn't actually do it anyway because my self preservation instinct clearly outmatches some temporary feeling
>>768457335
Depression is not the same as thinking about suicide for five seconds.
I'm noticing that all Anonymous feel the same plus they think they're isolated.
>>768457277
what type of contribution?
>>768457417
Anything that would help or prevent my suicide.
>>768449900
nope
>>768457335
>some temporary feeling
I'm not saying we all have some "collective depression" as someone suggested but the idea of a "temporary feelings" is just not a true characterization. I think of death daily. It doesn't solve the origin of the problem but from my (and many others) point of view, the problem isn't the problem in front of us, but the general suffering presented by life. For some people, it just never ends. Maybe its just because I'm alone, and I really have been for a really long time, despite my friends.
>>768457412
It lasted 5 seconds because that's just how much that kind of thing affects me, I also don't feel isolated and I don't have the need to get in a relationship or make the world into a place were people would accept me for who I am because I'm not delusional, just in case you ask
>>768457641
I have gender dysphoria.
>>768457647
Have you heard about Jesus?
>>768457690
I have
>>768457641
I don't see life as an unpleasant nor pleasant experience and mine surely isn't made of suffering
Spam the comments with shit https://ifunny.co/fun/6nm6XxKh5?s=cl
>>768457476
I mean, I can't really help you personally. I kind of wish I could end it (actually im still not sure, i think about it a lot, every day, several times a day, but i can't tell if its real, or rather, how serious it is).
I can only selfishly compare my suffering (going on 10-11 years, not contemplation of suicide, just general dissatisfaction and sadness related to life) to yours and assume yours is more fleeting and temporary, which it may or may not be. I know that many people try and commit suicide with only temporary problems that they're confronted with. Assuming you are one of them is not good, but it is generally accurate (i feel most people's depression is very temporary and almost not noteworthy, not that suicidal thoughts are within that category). Just make sure you're thinking about it for the right, long-term reasons.
>>768457476
if you want we can talk so you'll spend more time answering my questions than thinking about suicide
>>768458090
I want something to change in my life.
>>768458126
would having someone question every decision you ever made be a change? if yes we can do that
I tried suicide once and it almost killed me
>>768458249
We can use logical induction and assume that every decision was the wrong one. How should one proceed?
>>768457670
Oh shit, thats an idea I can't tackle with my own perspective. I have my own thoughts on it, though.
I think you should act like how you feel, you don't have to attach yourself to any gender profile. You don't need surgery or acceptance. But again, I don't know how it feels at all. I'm quite confident and non-conflicted with my gender identity. I can't really understand dysphoria from a physiological standpoint.
>>768457826
>and mine surely isn't made of suffering
suffering always struck me as a dramatic word that i was uncomfortable using to descrube my condition but its still the first and only word that comes to mind. Sorry i can't really conceptualize how I think your outlook is fundamentally different than mine.
>>768458355
I want HRT and to laser my face. Everything else I can /cope/ with.
>>768458307
usually human decisions aren't made rationally or logically so you shouldn't treat them all identically
>>768458414
All of them were based on feelings after a personality change.
I feel like I should wait until my parents die to end it, but then I'd feel pretty terribly for my sister to be all alone. So I guess I'm stuck here for a while.
>>768458512
That sounds gay.
Consider this. Would you be happier with her while she does not have those feelings for you. Not only is who they are important, but their feelings towards you as well.
>>768458611
That's my only concern but if she hurts me enough it won't matter.
>>768458355
You don't have to be sorry about anything
>>768458486
if you want me to make some useful observation we're going to need more details on every instance
>>768458512
Send pic, might be able to help and take care of this sister you speak of.
>>768458670
It's been years, my dude.
>>768458559
You're fucking gay.
>>768458707
So why are you burdening yourself with things you can't even remember clearly?
>>768458397
I want to say HRT and facial changes are a mistake but I can't see how it can fundamentally change your life. I guess that goes both ways though. It won't fundamentally change how you view or approach life (probably, there's always a chance, via the way I view life) so it probably won't make you overly more happy than you are now but it won't hurt you either.
I feel like I'm saying "just accept yourself dude" which if someone directed at me I would treat as a cheap cop-out that doesn't solve my personal problems (if it was directed at me).
Thats because thats what it is, but at the same time its true.
If you allow yourself to accept that you are who you are, you'll be able to shed your sadness. Ironically, I know this, but I can't do it myself.
I know meditation and positive thinking works, but i can't bring myself to do it. There are too many egotistical and mental blocks preventing my happiness. Maybe this will help you, or maybe you're just like me in that respect.
>>768458715
What I do is art.
>>768458715
Are you requesting to suck my dick?
>>768458757
There was never a disconnect.
>>768458760
I'd rather be dead.
>>768458670
I'm not "sorry" that I'm to blame for something so to speak, I'm sorry that you're in some condition that can't be helped, and that my explanation probably was empty and meaningless.
>>768458863
I think we need to call Scientology.
>>768458863
I wasn't looking for meaning in the first place, and still you don't need to feel sorry for me, I surely don't
>>768458801
No, that you suck mine.
>>768458975
Is it a feminist penis?
>>768459034
>feminist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSDTPPM9qsc
>>768458837
So what's the problem with making bad decisions? Unless you repeatedly make the same mistake over and over again it's usually more of a learning experience and you put that behind you after some point, now how long it takes is up to you and if you're actually willing to put it behind you
>>768459132
I need an exit bag now.
Like NOW now.
>>768458942
I don't want you to think i feel pity for you out of pity's sake. I think I feel cathartic because of my own selfish reasons, i guess i can relate to you in a vague way?
I feel the same way, I don't pity myself, or at least I think that I shouldn't pity myself (I honestly can't tell if I pity myself or not, I think i probably do at some level but at the same time I question the source of my feelings regarding myself in general.).
What is you relationship with your parents like?Would they be hurt by your death?
>>768459176
That sounds like a bad decision, this kind you don't get to learn from though
>>768449900
>i think, i found a bug! or...?
>>768459284
I see my father most often and he kinda knows I'm pretty detached from all that emotion stuff, I know he'd be hurt pretty badly since I'm the person that keeps him company the most and he gets pretty lonely even if he doesn't really say it
Now my mother is another story, I don't see her that much and she's either some fairly normal person or the most proficient sociopatch I've ever seen so I can't really tell you much about how she'd feel
>>768459685
damn
one thing that keeps me going is imagining my mother crying. She's kinda frail in my minds eye but yours is a sociopath in some capacity? thats rough.
I don't really know why I brought it up, most suicidal people think about their parents/loved ones.
I want to say "don't do it" but that would be disingenous considering my own feelings.
I guess just think about yourself as defiant and strong.
I guess since you have dysphoria this might be a muddled message but I find comfort in making life a struggle and something to fight against, I think I associate struggle with masculinity, and it sorta feeds my ego.
Russell Westbrook is somewhat of an inspiration because of his violent, masculine qualities that I try to incorporate into my thoughts. Masculine art like futurism and doom metal feed into this.
Sorry to gentrify my thoughts, its all i can really do...right now at least
>>768460141
I think you got the wrong person here, I'm not the one with dysphoria, and it's only an assumption so far
I should probably just ask her
How do you change your life if there is nothing left to change?
>>768460985
you don't
>>768461427
How does that help?
>>768460985
If Jaden Smith was as negative as you, this is what his retardation would look and sound like. That shit is dumb.
>>768461470
it doesn't, but neither does delusion
>>768461556
Okay, that's actually legit funny.
No, but for real, what should I do? Do you have any dreams or aspirations I could adapt?
>>768461572
Maybe you could turn the delusion into an illusion and then reach the conclusion.
>>768450273
just came from crying in the shower getting ready for bed.
I have no good advice to give tbh. Im not even physically lonely i have a family and a gf but i just feel lonely all the same.
Rescued a kitten a few days ago and i have dedicated hours upon hours of care. Now it follows me around and falls asleep on my lap.
Too bad I have to give it up to a shelter because i cant keep animals home.
Back to misery i guess
>>768460379
a sociopath will never admit or even know what they are
>>768461629
you do whatever you want it's your life not mine
>>768461607
>Do you have any dreams or aspirations I could adapt?
No, I was just pointing out that your initial question was stupid.
>How do you change your life if there is nothing left to change?
There is always something you can change. If you feel that you don't have a life then building or starting one would be changing it.
>>768461683
what makes you think it's not possible to be aware of one's own condition?
>>768461697
I have no idea what to do, my dude, I beat the tutorial level.
>>768461683
Maybe they are vital to society.
>>768461731
Makes sense.
>>768461785
This. If they are confronted with the fact that they are a sociopath they would be fools not to accept it, unless they are not actually a sociopath and rather are driven by ulterior motives that would lead them to undergo many behaviours one of them resembling traits of a sociopath when in reality it's part of a much bigger ploy meaning that if it could be classified as insanity otherwise perhaps cannot in this circumstance because all the persons actions are completely reasonable and within boundaries concidering circumstances.
>>768449900
It's a faggot hunt, its time to raise some hell
make peace with yer god cause its time to say farewell
now its time to do what is right
we're goin' out on the town killin' faggots tonight
Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey, Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo
Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey, Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo
Miss California spoke the truth
so Paris Hilton put your neck in the noose
marriage is only for a woman and a man
its a faggot execution the law of the land
It's a faggot hunt, its time to raise some hell
make peace with yer god cause its time to say farewell
now its time to do what is right
we're goin' out on the town killin' faggots tonight
>>768462909
I don't want to be a guy, my dude.
>>768464126
If you have a gun and a blunt we can go for a hunt.
>>768464136
Kys
>>768464189
Let's hunt fags and niggerd
>>768449900
three
dubs
in a row
> you must be doing something right
