I found out that a guy in dated during my college years died yesterday. He cheated on me so I'm not all that upset. Trips decides what I do at the funeral on Monday.
>>768444081
are you male or female?
>>768444081
>he cheated
>going to the funeral
you're gonna look for one of his relatives to fuck you dick addict. boo!!!
Try to fuck his sibling in the restroom
>>768444202
I'm female.
suck his dick
>>768444081
rip a big nasty fart. and shit your pants/skirt/dress/whatever.
>>768444356
bonus points if you inflate the veins with an air-foot pump discretely, so there's something to lip onto when you unzzip
How'd you find out?
>>768444319
you know the rules
>>768444479
She was asked. doesn't count newfag
>>768444081
Sit behind him mother. Put a small wooden board and a nail in your purse. From time to time, scrape the nail across the board. Bonus points if you convince her he's still alive and trying to get out.
Write /b/ on a piece of paper, walk up to the casket and place on top of him. Take a pic and leave. Post it here.
>>768444458
Kek.
>>768444380
retrying
>>768444811
fuck
Combine >>768444356 with >>768444747
>>768444081
Steal the body. Leave it in a public place.
>>768444081
order a pizza to the funeral, but when they start eating the pizza they'll find your erect cock in the box
>>768444895
Do a shot-for-shot remake of “Weekend at Bernie’s” using his corpse.
Have any naked pics of him still???
>>768445023
Omg this!!!
>>768445125
Yes. I doubt anyone wants to see them though since he's dead now.
get in the coffin when nobodys looking
then when the coffins being lowered into the ground stay hiding
when you hear dirt being thrown on top of the coffin keep hiding a bit longer
then when you can't hear any more dirt being thrown on the coffin hide some more
>>768445229
Make copies, leave them laying around the funeral. In the bathrooms, stuff like that
>>768444081
Stay home and fuck your current thing.
So you used to know them, so what?
It's not like you stayed friends over the years and were intimately involved in each other's lives. You'd be a bigger faggot for going.
Was it really that bad? Like he cheated on you, that sucks, but he's dead now so you kind of won already.
>>768444301
If you go, this is the only correct response.
Using an array of muscle stimulating electrical probes and servo-motors, reanimate the corpse. Have it lip sync Kati Perry’s “Firework”, before igniting a hidden thermite charge on the body. Film the results for YouTube and post the link here.
scream loud
"I KILL HIM" and then gtfo of there
>>768444081
Go to Party City or wherever and buy a bunch of birthday shit. Confetti poppers, helium balloons that say "Thank You!", party hats. Wear yours and give the others out to people as they come in.
>>768445601
Wow. What would that ending look like?
respectfully mourn
>>768445642
This this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this!!!
Even if he cheated on u u still have memories with him and theyre not mutual anymore. Should push down ur ego and atleast respect the dead. Are u a child or smth? Understandable why he cheated
was he a good fuck atleast?
>>768445671
Think the ending to “Highlander” but with more smoke and “burning meat” smell.
>>768444557
The samefag is strong in this one
>>768445808
That was the only good thing about him.
>>768444081
say a few kind words
>>768445880
post the nudes
>>768445880
And tell his mom "he was a good fuck" so she is proud
>>768445945
Nobody wants to see that dead guy naked.
>>768444081
What a coward you are, your chance of retaliation was when he was alive, now that he's gone you come out of your hiding and want to strike? Coward.
Besides a funeral's for the living, for friends and family, the dead don't care.
During the survive, Remove the genitals of the corpse. Preserve them in a jar of formaldehyde. When asked what you were doing reply “I paid for the hour, I’m getting the other forty five minutes one way or the other.”
>>768445601
I like this.
Op, if you're particularly experienced with electrical probes and servo-motors, you could potentially reanimate the corpse forever. Everyone would think he was actually alive. He could go on living, work, marry, have kids, and raise them to adulthood. He could out all of his dreams, but he'd be dead. Nobody would ever know.
>>768446020
uhh, I do
>>768446041
During the service*
>>768446073
Why?
>>768446050
The smell would give it away, eventually.
>>768446100
cause hes cute in the pic and i wanna see his junk
>>768446041
Sell his junk on eBay later.
>>768446129
I agree. Op share his nudes.
>>768444081
start humping the person next to you while screaming 'BOLY BOLY BOLY' in a Jamaican accent
>>768446029
What trollbait you are.
When asked if anyone else has any words to say about the deceased, stand up, make your way to the podium, and try to auction off the body to the congregation.
>>768446269
I'd place a bid for his body.
>>768446303
See? You’ve already got takers Op! If the live auction doesn’t work, you could abscond with the corpse and try your luck at eBay.
>>768446111
Does this count for trips?
>>768446111
might take a bit of work but it could be dealt with. If she got him a job as a fishmonger people would avoid using their nostrils around him
>>768446408
When will his body start to smell?
>>768446475
Decomposition would set in eventually...
>>768446574
might take a bit of work but it could be dealt with. If she got him a job as an astronaut they might be convinced he's just ageing faster because he's been travelling close to light speed so much
>>768446269
rolling for this
Bring a knife, then slice off sections of the corpse and consume as much as possible before you are forceably removed.
>>768444081
Just show up dressed real slutty.
Show us pics of him when he was alive. He looks like he had a cute ass.
>>768446760
oh fuck it's the other way around isn't it. They might not know that though
>>768446760
Getting a job in a cold environment such as the arctic or a meat locker might help slow down the decay process.
>>768446963
Yeah he could spend half his time fishing in the arctic and the other half working as a fishmonger it could work.
Op did he like fishing?
Cut off the face. Wear it over your own face. Loudly proclaim “look look! He’s not dead after all!”
>>768444081
Give us the date and location and well make sure alot of cringe neckbeard fat neets will show up to try to lick your pussy.
I'm jerking off looking at a dead guy, waiting for his naked pics on here. This is what my Saturdays have become.
Seduce his mother. Take her on a whirlwind romance the likes of which is only seen in independent lesbian films. When she’s well and Truly yours, slowly erode her self-confidence and emotional well-being until she kills herself. Work your way through his entire family until there’s nothing left.
Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.
>>768447537
YES!
He is dead your a cunt and you deserve each other. You too dead for me
>>768444081
Why would you go to the funural of someone who cheated on you lol fuckin stupid ass bitch.
He looks just like a guy I worked with years ago. He died Thursday so I wonder if it's the same guy.
Take a pic of you dabbing in front of his casket.
Take a rifle to the funeral, shoot the corpse and then cry about how gun control is bad because if the dead guy had a weapon he'd be able to defend himself.
After everyone leaves take a steaming shit on the grave
>768446085
Good catch
Still would.
have some respect and kys thot
>>768444081
you wear all white
I summon the power of trips
Go peepee on the casket
Get in good with the family by recounting positive stories about him get invited to the funeral to the point that they trust you enough to euligize him or atleast say some words to the crowd then expose him as the cheater that he was. Make sure that you still lament his loss so that the family doesnt istantly hate you they only loose respect for their lost family member. Remember to emotionaly burst out in tears as you divulge that he cheated on you. Apologize and pretend that the sorrow is because you never got the chance to set thing right so you could still be friends. This way they will remember times he seemed sincere and doubt his honesty and it will haunt them untill they die as well. >:)
>>768444081
If you don't care her died then don't go
>>768444081
Check out his hot sister.
how did he die
>>768452328
Train explosion
>>768452132
Bump.
