ITT, You vent anything you want. Minor or Major.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT, You vent anything you want. Minor or Major.
>>768218514
My fucking dick won't get hard anymore.
I have shitty panic attacks for the last 6 months and I fuckin hate it.
I'm just really lonely
>>768218650
lay off zoloft
Also I straight up play with my gf doo doo to nut
>>768218650
Any reasons you can think of?
Why so empty?
my lawn mower was not working. Had to kick it a few times. Fucking black son of a bitch died.
i broke my own computer out of anger and now have to buy a new one. this leaves me with no way to contact my boyfriend, and to add to it all im too sick to go out and buy a new one.
>>768218514
I came into plastic baggy I stufed between two pillows and I'm too lazy to throw the baggy away
>>768218514
I was too much of a pussy to ask my crush out despite her showing signs of interest im too much of an autist and couldnt pick up on them at that time
>>768218714
What do you mean by being lonely?
Lonely because you dont have a girlfriend or lonely because you have no friends and no girlfriend?
>>768219730
It doesnt have anything to do with being autistic. For 90% of men its hard to ask a girl out. Remember that youre not the only one
>>768219988
nice dubs
>>768219988
Fuck. man I cant stop thinking about her and she cut me off after two years of knowing her. I feel sad confused and horny man fuck women
>>768218514
So I cut it off with a girl I'd been talking to for 4 months now, and I feel pretty shitty.
We had a hugely deep level of trust with each other, could tell each other literally anything.
I just couldn't stand the "I don't want a relationship" talk. The idea of being "Mr Sometime in the Future" fucking repulsed me.
But I understand her position. She'd been in an abusive relationship for ages, sexual harassment from her teacher for months (and was still ongoing), and another recent breakup.
But I had the feeling she was lying to me, and leading me on.
Hold me /b/, anyone else had a situation like this?
>>768218804
I'm on a bunch of antidepressants but really my cock was on its way downhill before I got on those.
>>768218756
No zoloft, but there are others. Effexor, Wellbutrin, Abilify, Lithium, and Xanax.
>>768218650
Stop watching porn, eat more red meat, workout like a beast
>>768220571
Red meat is good for dicks?
Why can't i walk normal anymore?
>>768220622
I don't know, why can't you? What happened?
I've been talking to this girl on POF for about a montg and she's pretty fucking incredible, we vibe really well and get along great. Same interests, tastes in beer, movies shit like that, We talk every day on the phone and we both want to meet up, but i keep putting it off because I'm homeless and i haven't found work. I should cut it off but she's the only person i have. Fucking selfish i don't know
>>768220243
> I just couldn't stand the "I don't want a relationship" talk. The idea of being "Mr Sometime in the Future" fucking repulsed me
gives me the shits too.
> But I had the feeling she was lying to me, and leading me on.
she probably was. women can be quite manipulative and incredibly selfish, which is why you gotta look out for yourself first. you made a wise decision, so don't feel too badly about it. life is far too short for dealing with other people's bullshit.
>>768220909
thanks man. it does feel like the right decision, but the short term sting is immense. still, I know it's better than slowly fading away
I just don't get what happened. how can you trust someone with such intimate knowledge and then not want the security of a relationship to back it up?
Gf broke up with me a month ago, now shes back with her fucking ex
She still calls me all the time and we talk hours, im actually talking to her as im typing this
It still seems like she loves me, and she constantly Talks about how much she hates her bf, it's fucking weird and exausting
I dunno what this is, but i still have the hope that we might get back together which is the Part about it, it's keeping me from finding someone new but i Just cant help it
The feels are real guys
>>768221443
I forgot Like a Million words sorry
English is my second langauge and im pretty tired
We both want to be together, but we’re a continent apart and it’s fucking tearing me inside every day and I can’t get over her
>>768221443
get rid of that woman. you owe no duty to have to talk to her for that fucking long. you're just being used as an emotional tampon.
imagine the amount of stuff you could be doing with those few hours wasted each day being her shoulder
>>768218514
Best friend shot himself, I hung out with him for four years and it feels like I've just lost a brother.
>>768220682
It started with a small limp, nothing too bad. Went to the doc and told me that it was a combination of me losing weight too fast and diabetes.
I was still able to run after HS, but eventually it got worse and worse. Now i can't run or walk normal anymore. >>768220682
I've been trying to find a job for longer than I care to admit. As of right now, my gf works to take care of both of us. We had thought her boss would hire me for over 6 months now, but never did. All her boss would do was just calling me in to help when it got too busy, convincing me they were heavily considering hiring me. For the first time today, I decided I wasnt going to go back to work for free and have them lie to me. I feel like the worst scum of the Earth right now for not only turning down the opportunity, even though I know I wouldnt be paid just due to the possibility they would hire me. My gf is stressed and more mad at her boss than I am, and I don't know what to do aside from just continuing to look for work elsewhere.
We live in a pretty small town, so finding a job here is far harder than when i lived in cities. Most people know eachother and employers either arent hiring or will only hire people theyre friends with.
>>768221765
Sorry for your loss man :(
>>768221765
Fuck.
>>768221801
Is there a fix for it? How DO you walk? What's it like?
I feel like utter shit sometimes. I know I have depression, anxiety, and Asperger's, and I'm on medication, but just when I think I've got it under control I usually end up in another depressive episode. I sometimes consider suicide because I don't know how much longer I can take this. I'm also obese (5'6 and 204 pounds or so) and am on a very low carbohydrate diet that's making me feel fucking hungry all the time.
>>768222393
How bad is the 'spergers?
>>768221821
Where do you live? Is a bigger town/city within reasonable distance?
When me and my ex gf used to be together she would ignore me so when she went to bed i took it out on her dogs.
Why the fuck do only fat people wear Jaws t-shirts? It isn't a bad movie and I don't think appeals to fat people in particular but it's only fat people who own them! I don't think anyone on this board has seen a skinny person in a Jaws t-shirt!
I love my girlfriend with all my heart, I really do. And yeah we trust eachother wholeheartedly but sometimes she worries too much. About everything, and I’ll support her till the end but it’s such a downer sometimes to come home and hear about how she thinks I’m some casanova cheating on her when she’s the only woman I want. I don’t resent her for that, it’s just frustrating sometimes
>>768222732
The fucking boonies in South Carolina. There is a larger town about an hour or two away, but I cant drive. Cant afford a license, let alone my own car.
>>768222527
I think it's relatively mild. I can hold a conversation and be around other people. I just am easily overwhelmed by stimuli, find sustained eye contact difficult, am disorganized, and can't always tell if people are being sarcastic or serious.
I WANT TO RAPE THE SHIT OUT OF MY SISTER AND KICK HER IN THE FUCKING TITS
>>768223025
Damn dude, being without a car hurts the job hunt. How'd you end up way out there?
>>768224408
I needed a place to live, and my gf needed a room mate to keep her company. Things would be a lot easier if there was public transportation around here. No buses, no cabs, not even uber drivers around here. Shit blows, but we're still truckin on.
I graduated high school and met a girl the following summer through wrestling, which i helped coach afterwards. She was a German exchange student and got to the point where it would be heartbreaking or her to move back. I had nothing going on in life. I was working at a pizza joint in town, no college, no interest in anything except drinking wit the bois and vidya. Her family offers to take me in, as they were looking for an exchange kid any way.
Long story short, I moved from small town USA to Germany, for a girl. We did well, language barrier is still huge, even after a few years. I'm basically secluded to my room. Felt like I was at the top of the food chain the last years of living in America. Now i'm basically a NEET. Considering ending it, or just moving back to the states.
Fucking English esseys won't stop coming
>>768225528
Just move home dude.
>>768219718
>
open it and smell it
I'm just really lost and I don't know what to do with my life.
>>768224782
>I graduated high school and met a girl the following summer through wrestling, which i helped coach afterwards. She was a German exchange student and got to the point where it would be heartbreaking or her to move back. I had nothing going on in life. I was working at a pizza joint in town, no college, no interest in anything except drinking wit the bois and vidya. Her family offers to take me in, as they were looking for an exchange kid any way.
Can you get a job at mcdo or something similar? will make you want to kill yourself ever day but = money. Also why don't you just fucking move?
>>768226294
They'll help with your spelling anon, keep the hard work
Fuck my stupid manager. Micromanaging every little thing.
>>768218514
>>768218514
>Your mom
>Dead
Mfw that escalated quickly
>>768222393
similar sitch, considering going on anti-depressants but worried it'll make shit worse, opinions?
I used a jackhammer all day
Am tired
Anyone else realise the amount of kids in comparison to the amount of '4chan/greentext' youtubers? It's fucked up, and nothing's being done about this shit. Newer normalfag generations brought from big man tyrone fry their brains and it's fucked up.
lol I'm 14 actually XD
Paid $60 for Ass Creed Origins like two weeks ago. Gold edition (all DLC included) goes on sale for $50 on Tuesday. They don’t discount the DLC.
Like, fuck you.
Diseases aren't killing people off fast enough.
>>768227178
Kill yourself tbh. We could have more oxygen and food without you.
>>768226857
My advice would be to make sure you can communicate well with your psychiatrist during meetings and that they take your responses into account. Don't be afraid to say if it's having undesirable effects.
I’ve been having panic attacks for the past week that I’m in mortal danger from urgent medical emergencies. I’m unemployed and have no health insurance in the US. I’m 26, I shouldn’t feel this way. Talking a walk in nature with some music has helped the most. I’m waiting on the next steps in my Medicaid process so I can see a doc and a therapist.
>>768227304
honestly i don't want to even go in it in the first place. extremely suicidal and depressed and i feel like it's my only way out. drinking/drugs is my only way to get through the day and i just lay in bed
>>768227249
>Not supporting human extinction
What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
>>768220243
had a girl the same way anon. stayed with her for 3 years up until i walked in on her fucking my best friend.
>>768220892
i think youre being too harsh on yourself
>>768223627
>>768221443
dont talk to your exes, especially that one
>>768227584
I'm supporting it. Take the first step anon. Be liberated from this world filled with filth. I'll remain to contribute to the extinction of humanity of course.
>>768227024
Jesus man, I've never used one of those but have always imagined it must kick your ass.
My father is slowly becoming a depressed old guy.
Also a few of my friends are graduating from college this week, and it feels weird to know that I dropped out of a real school and just started working rather than going to a fake school like them.
>>768221443
She's a manipulative whore. She is emotionally manipulating you, keeping you on the hook until she gets tired of her bf so she can come back to you and drain you of your life. Literal succubus
>>768227848
>hurr durr, I think humankind is a great, we got music, cars, facebook and stuff... I truly love Gaia
Go swallow a grenade, you tree-hugging normie piece of shit.
>>768228304
This made me cringe and I'm not even the fag you're talking to.
>>768221765
That's brutal man. Had a great friend of mine pass away after taking some fake acid. Felt the same way towards him, never have I met someone with his personality. Now he's gone, and after 5 years it still feels like day 1. Losing a good friend is one of the worst feelings. Suicide is a different story. Keep your head up though, wish you the best.
>>768218514
I'm a fat fuck trying to lose weight, I have lost about 3 pounds in the last month, I know I could lose more but when I get home from work all I want is some greasy ass food and fizzy drinks so my diet only lasts up until about 5 o clock in the day, and I know even if I do manage to get the weight off I'll just put it back on with my shitty dieting habits
>>768218514
I can no longer get my quasi-legal benzodiazepines through the mail because the normie Feds seized my vendor's pill press. Ugh, you can't do anything in this country anymore
Every fucking time I walk around in socks I either step in something gooey or wet.
>>768228512
try being anorexic instead, you can feel bad for yourself for being a retarded starving fuck.
source: been trying to put on wait my whole life and wish i could just eat greasy food every day fuck
>>768228409
You made me cringe, how does your retarded ass like them apples?
>>768228415
>>768228304
Anon just fucking kill yourself and do the environment a favor. Do even fucking know how much CO2 your computer emits just so your faggot ass can post on 4chan. Save the environment, take the initiative. Faggot.
>>768227816
This. I'm happily married and I promise you the more time you spend on an ex or an unpromising gf the more time you waste enjoying life. And when you're just enjoying your shit that's when that real bitch falls right into your life. Trust.
>>768228651
I fucking hate that shit
I'm 19 and the only one in my friend group who hasn't been in a real relationship (longer than a month, more than hand-holding, going on dates etc)
I feel like a fucking failure when with them and can't even imagine what their lives are like. Also they seem to have all their shit sorted out like work (even if it's part-time)
Meanwhile I'm debating applying in a warehouse again because I have no clue what I want as a career and I can't even imagine myself in some other work like retail,
customer service, or like two of my mates are; a carer for disabled/old people. I really want to earn money like they do but I feel like i'm incapable of being like them.
I know people always say not to compare yourself to others, but I feel like such a fucking failure, considering what they're doing is nothing more than regular.
>>768218514
I want to leave home and have my own apartment but I don't know if I can socially fend for myself without my parents to lean on
I completely ostracized myself from any kind of social life due to a combination of anxiety and aspd and don't have any goals or accomplishments in my life, I'm poor as shit, as in living from paycheck to paycheck and the only instrument to distract myself and simulate the feeling of achieving something and being the only thing I can get the feeling of happiness was an mmo, even though I lost any interest in any other video game. That worked for 15 months, until yesterday, I got banned for swearing and all my progression, everything I achieved and worked for is lost. Now I don't know if I should try to save up money so I can buy a new copy and start all over again, or if I should just skip that and become an hero
Knowing the girl i'm in love with just got railed for the past 4 days who knows how many times by some asshole is bringing me down. Never really cared about shit like this before but this time it's bothering me. Is this like latent immaturity? Idk...
>>768228687
Well I don't necessarily feel bad for myself because I know even the 3 pounds in a month is at least something, not much but it's there, but I'll be 25 at the end of July I'm currently just a few pounds under 16 stone I hope to be down to about 14 stone by then which I think is achievable if I could just control my fucking impulses after 5 o clock
>>768218514
Europe has been the (((((USA)))))'s bitch since 1945. I want to see America violated, defiled and burned to ash before I die.
Am I the only one in here who isn’t a goddamn pussy? Man the fuck up, anon. Learn to be independent, but yourself some tools and know the feeling of productivity in your own home. Go to a sleazy bar and exchange flirts with some trim.
Read a book or two about war, learn how to cook a fine steak, and revel in your masculinity. Drink piss beer and love it, goddamnit.
That is all
>>768229270
i'd say spin the hobby wheel and get really into guns or something. also have you tried being drunk 24/7? really helps, way better than an hero
>>768218514
my parents told me to fuck off and essentially disowned me, my gf is a cunt and friends called me a junkie for doing acid twice a year.
>>768227560
It's very treatable.
>>768229735
Alpha as fuck
I approve
>>768229342
Anon you're not in love with her you're in lust I fell into that trap when I was younger as well
30's, educated, middle class, comfortable life, well paid job.
Been with my girl for 10 years, getting married this year.
Trouble is, she is dead in the sack and makes no effort with anything romantic. Solid 7/10, not super hot, but her massive tits and nice body mostly make up for it.
She's a great friend, companion and partner. Traditional, loyal, anti social but not autistic or a shut in, from a good family, well off herself, similar interests.
I so badly want to fuck other women though it's killing me. Can't break up because it'd be such a waste of everything else I value in the relationship though, and she doesn't give me enough free time to even think about cheating, never mind the fact I'm 10 years out of the game and don't think I'd know how to go about it anymore.
I want a family, wife and kids, nice house, a quiet life, and she's my best shot at getting it.
But a part of me just wants to fuck someone that's A) going to do more than lay there, and B) actual someone I want to fuck.
>>768229735
>watches jordan peterson once
>>768229741
treatable as in going on antidepressants the rest of my life lol?
The first love of my life (been together more than one year now) will soon move. I might need to move (who knows where yet) in a couple of months. She had bad experiences with LDRs and mentioned that she thought about ending it nicely before either of us gets bitter/cheats.
Just thinking about this makes me extremely sad, even more than when I was alone. Feels bad.
>fellow Italianfags should get the context of the pic
I get theese flashes of anger like every 10 minutes and its causing me some problems. I cant really talk or do anything without it being angry and i think my crush thinks im mad at her for sonthing and this shit is getting annoying
>>768229737
Well, most Hobbys require people that can tolerate you and people you can tolerate+I don't have much of a budget (I'm from an financial standpoint nor even able to get therapy) and I live in a country where you can't even own a knife longer than 17cm, so no guns for me. The drinking your problems away is something I try, but I'm a fat, big, genetically Russian guy with a high alcohol tolerance and every time need more than one bottle of whisky to get drunk, so, again, not very financially bearable
I fucking hate playing dota 2 yet its the only thing i do all day all week
My biggest turn on is small penis humiliation, but my dick is above average. It's a mindfuck and I'm just not allowed to complain about it.
>>768229944
just tell her loool 4head
>>768230467
well, you shouldn't be buying whiskey dumbass, buy cooking wine or whatever is the cheapest possible. also figure out your budget so you can max out your spending on alcohol as much as possible.
also i have a stupid amount of hobbies and none of them involve leaving my room so i dunno what you're talking about.
>>768218514
>>768218514
The IRS is fucking organized crime and a violent revolt should have taken place years ago. Why do sheeple put up with being fucking fleeced this way??
>>768230222
No usually the best thing is to do both medication and therapy for a while. Some people don't need the medications after a while.
>>768231116
i've been told it permanently alters your brain tho
>>768218514
>wtf happend here??!!??
>>768218514
Found out a couple of hours ago that my father had a seizure and lost consciousness for over 10 minutes.
He's in the hospital, and I don't know how serious it is.
On top of that, I can't come by to visit any time soon since I live in another country.
I don't know what to do. I've never felt this lost.
>>768230804
wine and beer, while being cheaper, also have a way lower alc percentage, so it doesn't seem really seem to have a great impact on the ethanol liter per dollar scale.
2. What Hobbys for example? I'm not too stupid if that helps, as I was 1 semester away from finishing college before having to drop out to care for my mother
>no job
>no car
>lives at home
>genuinely mentally ill
>2.7 GPA
I fucking hate myself.
>>768231750
What's good about you? And don't say nothing. Everyone has some kind of positive traits. Even Ted Bundy was charming.
>>768231640
cooking wine was the best value in my town because you're not supposed to drink it
idfk man pick your own hobbies, just literally pick some random ass shit and do it, look up a youtube tutorial and just fucking do it, get into it.
>>768232376
I want to improve but i have no idea how.
My work ethic is garbage. And it wasn't always like this
>>768228304
>hates humans
>does not kill self
>instead preach to anons to kill themselves
Why are you retarded?
>>768233101
funny way to spell "clever".
>>768218714
Hey man I'll be your friend. Me, anon, am here for you.
>>768232609
I'm a full time student in his sophomore year. The medication I take (which is being changed, I have to be weened off of it) limits the time I have to do anything other than studying. Even then, I'm not making the grades I should be. I spend 15 dollars a day on energy drinks to stay awake. I don't have a car because I simply can't afford one. I barely have enough for gas money. I have to have my fucking sister drive me to class. I'm not learning a trade where my body breaks down in 25 years and I have to file for disability either. I'm not particularly interested in computer science, but it's an indoor desk job that makes decent pay.
Having a mood disorder also doesn't help, especially when you hallucinate occasionally. Even worse is when you're tearing your house apart trying to find a listening device left by the feds who had a magic key to open the front door. It's why I don't date. The moment that gets mentioned the relationship ends.
I appreciate the input, but I really wish things were as simple as you said.
>>768218514
I don't have the self esteem to talk to people I like. On top of everything else, I don't think I have the social abilities to talk to them and have even a chance in piquing their interest, so it'd be better to have no connection to them at all in case I commit a crime.
>>768218650
can relate, it takes so long to orgasm now, and the orgasm is barely anything.
>>768218514
I had an important test yesterday. I realized I wasn't ready and I didn't go. I feel like a failure, but the worst part is I think I'm getting used to it.
I'm a failure in general: started college at 20, decided to do another major in parallel at 21 (done by now, but it's useless), started another last year (age 25 then, now 26) and wanted to finish the degree I started first, but I don't think I will ever finish - I only want closure, but it's hard to let go.
Also, my grades are so low that I don't think getting a degree will be worth anything with my gpa. I'm applying for a masters in a few months, hoping to do well. But still, not being done with the first degree bothers me a lot.
When I was in high school I thought I would have a PhD by now, but I have nothing.
The fact that my family told me how useless and retarded I am for 12 years straight (I moved out now) didn't help. It feel nothing I do will ever be enough for me to be ok with myself.
>>768221821
Walk down the road and look for houses with chores to be done. Pick one that is within your skill set. Could be as simple as weeding a garden.Harder jobs you can charge more for. Knock on the door, or try to find an owner already in the yard. Explain your looking for a job, but while you're looking you can't stand to not be doing something productive with your day. offer to do the chore for a fair price. if they provide tools and material your just charging for your time (which you were spending on the couch anyway) If you need to provide the tool or material, add the cost of the tool and material to your time estimation. Ask for half of that as a down payment. Do that every day, and eventually someone will notice your ambition and also know someone who needs help at their place of business. You literally get paid for looking for a job.
Tldr-- I've worked every day I've wanted to since I was 10 years old. Youre just content with sucking on your gfs teet... STFU fucking parasite
>>768229735
Swap piss beer for fine red wine, then I agree.
>>768234189
I might be going down the same path as you. Any words of advice/regrets? Just want to know what not to do, if that's ok with you.
A milf 20 years older than me who lives 2 minutes away, after a lot of flirting, finally got together and we fucked.
One week of that, then when she found out I'm an aspie she went "I wish you had told me about this before" and dumped my ass.
I'm 23.
This happened 3 months ago, and I still can not stop thinking about her every single day.
It literally hurts in my chest every morning when the thoughts are strongest, bit less during nights.
I always aimed to think with ration and logic, but now intense emotions have gotten into the mix and I feel horrible.
>pic related, but not her
I care less and less about everything. And that includes myself. But for some reason, this make me very sad sometimes. I've lost all hopes of getting a gf. I don't have any friends either. I don't know how to talk properly.
I FUCKING HATE DOGS
>>768218514
I'm 19 without a drivers license or job, four of my front teeth have holes in them and are rotting, so I went to the dentist and he started drilling on some back ones and when I told him it hurt he said we had no more time and I ended up getting nothing done, so now a month before my next appointment of rotting teeth, although I brush 3 times a day and floss. I'm also not sure how im going to get a masters in psychology when I have no money to pay my way through college
>>768221765
shit man.. sorry /b/ro.. thoughts are with you.
I don't feel anything anymore
>>768234699
>>768227024
wear a respirator.
>>768234477
It's ok by me, if you elaborate on
>I might be going down the same path as you
My regrets:
Not talking more to people. Now I do it more often, but not that much then. Being in a group gives you wings. It's much harder when you're on our own.
Don't be afraid of looking like an idiot. I started to skip lectures (first degree) because the teacher would ask questions at random students. I didn't want to look like a fool by not knowing the answers.
Your classmates are there to help you. Most people love to help others, don't be afraid to ask. Help everyone you can.
Just stop talking and avoid toxic people. It's useless to try to argue like I did for years with my family. Just avoid them and let them rot on their own. Arguing with people constantly will only fuck you up in the head.
>>768220607
NO. red meat in general is bad for erections. it constricts blood flow. you need a little, but dont eat a lot. you need more veggies, they help blood flow and help push plaque out of veins and arteries. you need blood flow to get hard. Avoid Soy products, it boosts estrogen.
Also, cut down on alcohol, and fapping.
Exercise more to increase blood flow to all parts of your body.
I started taking heavy doses of kratom (legal plant in the US sold as dietary supplement, opioid drug in reality) daily in August of 2017 because I thought it wasn’t addictive, and now I get fucking diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, shortness of breath, sneezing, runny nose, weird ass emotional depressive feelings and this god awful leg shaking thing whenever I don’t take it and I feel fucking trapped. I’m losing all my emotions and I’ve become completely numb to everything but if I quit I have to endure a month of basically having the flu and then some plus long term depression and anxiety. I’ve been duped and I fucking hate it. I’m never horny anymore, my gf can’t stand it, I stay up thru all hours of the night and sleep all day, I can only shit once a week, and I’ve lost 40+ pounds since I started using it. The worst part is, I absolutely love everything about how I feel when I’m on it but I’m so bored of it and emotionally numb at the same time. I was a normal fucking person before I started taking this and I want my fuckin life back. Never fucking start doing any type of painkiller cuz it’s 100% true when people say it consumes you.
>>768220559
Jesus no wonder your dick doesnt work, try to cut down on some of those and try and kick the xanax the benzodiazepines are bad for your body in all kinds of ways. The abilify do you ever get achathesia?
>>768218514
My 1st day at new company working. No coffee WTF? Got headaches from lack of caffeine.
>>768235065
also: study more, but have fun.
The best results are reached if you have a proper equilibrium. Working when you're burn out will produce ugly results with heavy psychological damage on the long-term.
Proficiency is an habit, not a gift. Make your object of expertise an habit.
And go to your doctor if you think you're depressed. Lots of people talk shit about antidepressants online, but obviously you should not take online advice over your md. If you need medication, tell them. Let a professional take that decision.
>>768219730
Fucking staph guys it's not that hard, I get so sad when I see you talk about how scared you are women are not hard to amuse just fucking do it. One day go someone NO one will ever know you and just start asking all the good looking bitches out. Their is literally no repercussions as you will never see them again. You might get a number but you will definitely get the confidence as that is the important part. Maybe even try a couple lines get fucking saucy
>>768235559
Achathesia feels like your skin is caliber and crawling and needs to come off after two weeks of it I was hiding under a desk at work crying taking tons of the pills they gave me to try to counter act it. It's an open side effect of the medication but it was intense for me
>>768236012
Holy shit man, that sounds very unpleasant. You're off the shit now I take it? I get along with the Abilify just fine, it just doesn't seem to help.
I started reading brave new world again, but I already found something i fundamentally disagree with.
In the book, pretty much everything that the common people want to do is pretty clearly written to be a bad thing right, even though its presented in a positive way. Its a very well written satire, pretty basic stuff for the dystopia sci fi genre, right.
well the protagonist who we are supposed to empathize with and who dislikes the society, he goes on a date and just wants to walk and talk. eventually the date after trying to make him go to different things convinces him to go to a wrestling show.
This is where i have a problem with the book
despite it being a very off hand thing, that makes up a few sentences, everything the author writes has a clear intent, its very well written but it makes the presumption that its not possible to make any real connections in the "crowds" of a wrestling show.
>>768235559
The xanax is likely the one causing the dong trouble couple weeks after you will notice more activity. You could also try something like lsd if you're into thinking outside the box
>>768234596
Me again. I meet this woman almost every day. It tears me apart how we have come to a point where we pretend it never happened.
Haven't been this depressed since I was a young teen. Hating life.
nigga swag
>>768236105
Yea I came off after that it's the worst side effect I've ever had I am on seroquel instead which is a little dopey but it helps me sleep
>>768236143
I used to love LSD when I was younger but what's it got to do with penises?
i was talking with a mentor of mine a bit about it and he told me "Mr. Anon, one of these days you will learn that those two things are completely incompatible."
I completely disagree with that idea the greatest happiness i know is performing. The only thing that even comes close is just being in a wrestling crowd, and performing just only barely goes over.
And as for connections, i don't know many connections where over 70000 people can all collectively go from scattered noise to gasping in unison followed by a collective hush as all eyes focus on a single person. where me and another guy who ill probably never see again share a common chant that we hold for an entire show. Where i can yell "wooo" and watch as a wave of woos spreads throughout an arena
As for "real" connections i cant think of anything i bonded with more with my dad and my little brother growing up than these wrestling shows and to pass it off as mindless violence is extremely short sighted and narrow minded, in my opinion
>>768221605
Just remember the wait will be worth it. I'm going through the exact same thing and it kills me whenever she has to head back, but the love I have for that woman is so very worth it.
found out grandpa has terminal lung cancer a couple of weeks ago and just found out today that my contract at work isnt getting renewed sadtym bros
>>768236238
Lucy is love drug bruv if you got a special someone the love with flow.
i see wrestling as a sort of rough theater. In a reading, that my mentor gave me and others, it describes three types of theater. The rough theater, the holy theater, and the combination of the two. While often crude, and often touching on things that arent exactly high minded, he shows and displays just how much value there is to the rough theater and how necessary it is
I like to believe wrestling acts in the same way, and even carries the medium better than a play
the most truthful thing about a play is that while every show is on paper the same, it is impossible to duplicate it, though some may try
every show will be different, and being open to that is to accept and move past the lies of theater. In wrestling there is no facade to get over, every wrestlers intent is to give something new every time. I know im ranting, but i like to believe that the thing ive focused so much of my life on has a purpose
And on a more personal level, one of the biggest things that divided my ex/best friend and I and i believe helped lead directly to our break up was my decision regarding wrestling. And i worry that considering this was one of her thesis books, if those few lines planted a seed in her head that led to that, and if thats the case it sort of makes me angry.
I feel the need to vent to get over this because ive never talked about it, but my ex and i talked and we talked about my future and the choice i had to make, and that night i made my choice and told her that i would choose wrestling because thats what i needed to do.S he didnt say much besides "i just kinda hoped you would choose differently." We didnt talk much for the next few days, and next thing i know we were breaking up. i guess these are the types of sacrifices i expected to have to make in choosing wrestling, but if she got this idea of wrestling being mindless, along with the fear of me being hurt, from this book, it kinda makes this book hard to read even as great as it is
>>768236532
it’s about time that old fucker bit the dust
>>768236319
Sounds like a shit mentor. Also any sporting event, Monster truck rally or concert will have those moments. Shit man a new software at an insurance convention can stir a crowd. That all said, Follow your dreams. Check out Jim Sterling and his adventures as Sterdust. He’s got a bad back and gets to be a wrestler anyways. Tou can do it!
>>768236570
I don't have a special someone. I have been single for like five years.
>>768236532
That really sucks man.
Remember to check yourself for early symptoms every 4 years or so when you get a bit older.
>>768236635
He really is a great mentor. I wouldn't be where I am today without him, and he's helped me more times than i can count.
He's one of those guys where he is almost always right. Even as much as you hate to hear it. But on this, I can't nor will I waver. I fundamentally believe that he's wrong this time.
>>768235065
>>768235337
Sorry, there isn't much I can tell you. Thanks for the response anyway.
It's just that I can relate to you on some level, as I'm so used to failing it's kind of unnerving how little I feel over it now, and forgo some things altogether over feeling inadequate in the area it falls under (because I don't spend time with it).
I hate my body so much. I feel deformed, too fat and chunky, like the faggot skinnyfat that I am. I cannot even look in the mirror anymore.
>>768236646
Read the comment with invader zim try it
>>768237189
Exercise?
>>768236113
I read it a long time ago, but I don't thing I got the same thing you got from it.
I disagree with the presumption you see in the book. It is there, but it's not where it's pointing at precisely. "Crowds" are on average a space of alienation where individuality is loss in favor of common characteristics of people that are emphasized in order to have any social status whatsoever. This leads to the creation of a "persona" or "avatar" in which the individual is presented with minimal characters that might not even be his own. If one extrapolates this to society, we get the Brave New World: a world in which the individual is lost to support the public persona. This obviously happens in society, but in a much lesser degree, thus people are able to hold their own existence and individuality; in BNW alienation reaches a level that the public persona becomes also the private persona in most people's lives. When this occur, it raises the question of how "real" are connections among individuals, if each and all have all the same personality traits there are no demands of comprehension and understanding among individuals, everything is "plain and simple" because there is no need for any kind of "social understanding". Crowds can be used to consider an example in a smaller degree, because while we have no parallel of the degree of alienation people are in BNW, most people are familiar with crowd and should be capable of seeing, like in a sort of epiphany, what happens when the public persona goes from local to general society and transcends up to private life.
tl;dr: the crowd is a metaphor, you fuckwit
I've had panic attacks constantly since I was a teenager (25 now) and am ready to commit suicide to escape it
>>768237367
Have you tried benzos?
>>768237040
I see. How old are you sir?
My heart is broken for the first time in mid 20s. I have no idea what to do
How do you mend a broken heart?
Don't give me the heal with time bullshit either, it's been months
>>768237435
Get a new woman.
>>768237435
Prostitutes.
We have a motto in spanish for that: "Un clavo saca a otro clavo."
>>768237435
>Don't give me the heal with time bullshit either, it's been months
try back in years
my mom and dad mentally abuse me and i am considering kys or ruining away
>>768237367
I did too anon. psychiatrist is your only help. take 1 pill a day and normal now.
>>768237393
Pharmaceuticals are less preferable than death. I've treated it with a few things but there seems to be nothing that keeps my regular mind intact.
The only reason I'm still here is I'm looking into psilocybin as a treatment.
>>768237345
Did it for like 3 years.
When I started I was 69 kg X1.84m, now I'm 85 kg. People say that I did the right thing, that I look healtier and shit, but I don' t know...
>>768218514
You're a faggot and I hate you
>>768237561
Sorry man, not gonna happen. Not gonna take a mind altering drug daily. Will die first.
>>768237566
What are your doubts?
>>768237483
it was my first woman, rest were childhood/school flings
by a stroke of damn luck did I land this one
>>768237518
What does that mean?
>>768237532
Don't say that... wouldn't be able to handle years of this
>>768237537
been there, but with grandmother
hope you find a way out that isn't any of those
>>768237626
>What does that mean?
Literally "A nails takes another nail out"
Meaning, you need a woman to forget another woman.
>>768220892
so because you're homeless, you don't deserve human contact. Interesting logic.
I think you should respect her, and respect the fact that she should be able to make her own decision about you. Just tell her your situation and if she still wants you in her life then cool.
>>768237626
>Don't say that... wouldn't be able to handle years of this
took me a while too but years later I still love them but don't feel that yearning anymore
>>768237356
I understand its a metaphor. I actually have some reading ability.
The part that really annoys me, is the fact that people closest to me and who's opinions I value the most either seem to, or possibly, take more away from those few lines. It's no secret that my ex, and my mentor, aren't the most familiar with professional wrestling, and reading this after the fact seems to explain a bit more about their own behavior in regards to the subject.
That said, I do appreciate your analysis, I'm still not very far into the novel, and I do enjoy hearing peoples different takes on it, so thank you,
>>768237622
I look like a shirtless Putin after years of "skelly figure", I feel goofy and boy actractive, with no muscle definition.
>>768237695
This makes perfect sense. Should seek out others despite lack of experience in the field
>>768237827
What did you do during your first couple months?
Also I'll just refer to my post explaining more:
>>768234596
>>768238005
Well that's why you get /fit/ nigga. I feel like a hypocrite because I'm fat and lazy but I don't care. You do care.
>>768238068
>What did you do during your first couple months?
haha felt really sad I guess
Lonely boys, add me on kik. No dicks, just companionship my goys. I know all to well the familiar and cold grip of isolation
Kik is ButterBiscuit64
>>768237412
I get the feeling that you think I'm old from the sir, but honestly I'm just trying to be more discreet about being underage, because, y'know. Sooner or later I'm going to have to apply for college, but it probably won't go well.
>>768220892
I am in almost the same situation. I don't own a home, I lived in a shitty house with my dad and now in a decent house but in grandma's couch.
It's fucking depressing, It makes me feel like a failure. The main reason to not ask anyone out is because I don't want anyone to see how I live.
I've been waiting for everything to change, but I've been waiting forever so it seems unlikely it ever will.
>>768238076
I changed my workout so I could get a slender figure, but man It's been 50 days and I didn't lost a kg
>>768238158
well, good luck
I hope you're not in the US. We have free college. If I were american I would hate myself to get so much in debt.
A friend was drunk and fucked up my R-15 Don't have the money to get it fixed right now and it might take a while till I do.
>>768238359
Maybe change strategy. Instead of going for thin, go for muscular.
Pretty sure nobody reads this far down, but here I am typing anyway.
From a doctors standpoint: bipolar 1, history of depression, adhd, anxiety.. yeah whatever.
I've been depressed as fuck for years, close to suicide a couple times, which is funny because that's how 20% of people with bipolar 1 die. Not some random stat- I literally found it in a meta-analysis of medical research.
Anyway, I'm super ambitious, and I want to work so hard. I want to get so far. I want to be so much. Yet, often there's a massive disconnect between my achievements, and my goals. This vast gap. Even when I get lucky, and nail great opportunities... I find trouble living up to my own reputation at times.
I think that's the worst part about bipolar 1. I can be so good. So evocative. So fun and happy and energetic. And then this happens. And one by one all the spinning plates that is life collapse. And I have to pick up the pieces, and start all over again. Again. And again. And again. I wish the cycles would stop yet here I am, again.
I long ago made peace with my suicide, should I fail to be successful. Break free or break me, as I say. Yet breaking me is starting to seem a lot more likely, and at some point, I'm just going to stop picking up the pieces.
Most people would look for rock bottom, to stand upon and build back, but I'm sick of building back, and rock bottom is a fucking lie anyway. There is no solid foundation of mental illness, it just gets worse and worse.
But with all my bitching, here I am, still sitting. Chores to be done. Work to be done.
>>768238359
you can't work off a bad diet.
You lose weight by taking in less calories than you're expending. Yeah sure you can increase calorie spending by working out.. or just eat less. Sounds like you need to try eating less.
>>768218514
I'm alone with no friends and my family doesn't really care about me. I haven't spoken with my mother in almost a year nor my father in over 3 years. I get pretty lonely and all I've got is my cat and the internet to keep me company these days. I don't know where everything went so wrong. My life has just progressively gotten worse until I recently took notice of the absolute state of disrepair that it's in. I don't know how to fix this or if I even can.
I don't really have any problems other than being so alone. I work, I have a place to live, and food to eat. But I don't have people to spend time with. It's pretty soul crushing, and it's not like I could fix this with medications or therapy like other mental health problems. My lonelyness is caused by my inability to be liked by others. I'm just too socially inept and awkward to meet new people. It's made worse when people don't specifically dislike me, but don't like me either. That just makes me feel unwanted with no clear metric to use for self improvement. I don't do anything wrong except for being too closed off but I can't help it. Even among my coworkers they never talk to me, I'm never invited to eat out with them. I'm not even an afterthought to them. They don't think of me at all. I feel like they treat me like just another machine like a printer or computer some other tool. I'm just a slightly useful thing to them.
I'm so alone that the only people I can talk to about this are strangers on /b/. I want to have friends but everyone I meet thinks I'm creepy because I struggle with making eye contact and rarely talk. I don't have any hobbies except reading and 4chan basically, and I have no social media accounts at all.
My cat is the only one who is ever happy to seeme each day. Maybe it's because I feed him and clean his litterbox but at least he pretends to like me. But if I died nobody else would notice except for my cat but would he really care aside from his food source being cut off?
FOR FUCK SAKES!!!!! No matter how much I complain and try to feel better nothing helps. From all angles I get either ignored or frowned upon
>>768238366
you too, thanks. Looks like I'm going to study abroad or hate myself.
>>768238493
Maybe it will work
>>768238226
So stop waiting for it and make an effort to change.
Only way it's gonna happen.
>>768238689
I'll cut the carbs then
>>768218514
I think i'm going legit insane. like need medical help i'm paranoid and deluded insane. but i don't want to be classified as ill and unfit, because it would destroy my life, so i'm just trying to hide the best i can.
>>768238764
glad someone read it, real glad
>>768238699
it sounds like you can benefit from therapy. Also, yeah I've actually been in your situation. I was for years when I was younger. Cultivate a personality. You need people to do it.
What I think you need is to work on a team. A situation where there is a topic for discussion, clear metrics to measure yourself against, etc. However, there is also social dynamics and whatnot too. I think that would really help you, cause it sure helped me.
>>768238948
fats are the most calorie dense. I'm not sure where the cutting carb circlejerk started but it's not medically supported. The DASH diet has 20 years of medical research showing how healthy and great it is for you, and your caloric intake is 50% carbs.
If you want to slim up, eat HEALTHY carbs. Whole grain, wild rice, etc. And cut fat. Cut the fat you can. Force your body to have to use it's own fat stores to get you the fat you need.
>>768238768
i'm trying man
it just isn't working
>>768224782
You've identified the need...
get a fucking car and be a fucking uber driver. Make bank.
>>768239123
Then no more fat satured food and more veggies just in case. Got it
>>768239118
People who are insane do not identify as not sane. You are just a crybaby faggot.
cant smoke any weed no more
:(
>>768239118
not sure what country you're in, but in the USA I thought that was the case, right up to where I was involuntarily committed into a hospital.
Now I can't buy guns, getting security clearances is harder... tbh it's still not that much. But, the funny part is that getting diagnosed and getting help doesn't impact you negatively at all.
But waiting like I did till you get forced into a psych ward does, so, fun facts.
It turns out that getting diagnosed doesn't even inherently mean anything you don't want it to, because there's no centralized medical records or anything. I could've just never showed any doctor the medical records from the hospital and that would be that.
And it would only hurt me because a diagnosis is helpful, not harmful.
>>768229270
Everything in the MMO was fake. Just numbers on a spreadsheet on a computer somewhere.
Go level your own body and your own talent tree for a while. Go to a gym. Take a pottery class. Learn a language. Do something that has you meet other people, not in the context of 'trying to meet people to have sex' way, but just in a 'hey that's a fucking nice pot you just made, mate' kind of way.
>am faggot
>crush is straight
>>768238498
still here, currently torn with going and buying a pack of smokes, or doing chores.
smokes will no doubt lead me further down the self-destruction progression. Putting me closer to stopping my workouts, reducing my diet further, and eventually degrading my self-esteem significantly.
Doing chores will put me back on the right track.
damn i want those smokes
Angy that I wasted my youth browsing 4chan and fringe political and depraved communities.
>>768239297
I don't want to believe i'm ill. I've always had such confidence in my thoughts and actions. I think if told my psychiatrist all my problems and he tells me that I'm truly sicker than what's been uncovered, i don't think I could live on in such doubt of myself.
>>768239284
I don't think I'm insane, but i'm worried that i'm developing serious mental health issues and that I could end up with a diagnoses that would confirm them
>>768239685
did you have fun though?
>>768239139
It's not easy, I get that, but instead of being ashamed of your current living situation, own it.
Everybody goes through shit in their lives and if you don't make a big deal out of it, they won't either and if they do, or make fun of you for it, they're worthless human beings and aren't worth your time anyway.
Just try and stay positive.
I have basically accomplished everything by 32 and now have to somehow figure out how to make it through each day without killing myself due to stress and anxiety from knowing I'll never be able to afford to retire and will likely live at least another 30 years.
>>768239778
I had some fun here and there on 4chan, but over all no. I had no friends and had intense anxiety, not like I could do much else.
>>768239834
>I have basically accomplished everything by 32
elaborate
>>768239931
As long as you had some fun, it was worth it. Even if you wasted your fucking lonely life on a Filipino gif website
>>768239295
why not?
ive been a whole week without weed because of dealers going AWOL
probablyt a grand fucking bust no clue
Been at it for years this is annoying af, can hardly sleep anymore
>>768239961
Graduated high school.
Graduated college.
Got married.
Bought house.
Had kid.
Got dog.
10 years in career (but have come to absolutely despise the concept of work).
The only goal I have that I haven't reached is to become a published author but the stress of work and kife saps sll creative energy.
>>768239961
was born to shitpost
>>768218514
I'm getting more and more pleasure at the idea of dying. I'm not depressed and I don;t like the idea of being dead. The thrill of dying horrible appeals to me for some reason.
>>768239751
I really feel for you. I literally refused medical treatment my whole life for those same reasons. I wanted to fix it all myself, I didn't want to be sick, to be labeled as sick, etc.
However, It turned out that I have bipolar 1, the most serious form of bipolar disorder, and one of the highest rates of suicide (along with mdd and schizophrenia)
I would have never wanted this diagnosis, but I can promise you that having it has already seriously helped my life. The medications are useful, sure, but I just started those. What's better is the knowledge. I was able to learn what's going on with my mind, what is different about me... etc.
I still don't really see myself as sick, even though in many ways it's kinda like.. yeah sure buddy. But I really don't, I'm just different. Bipolar is 90% heritable, so I was born this way.
Also, I didn't develop the disorder till I was 20. Fun facts. That's how it tends to go for bipolar and schizophrenia. It sounds like you may be developing something in the schizophrenia spectrum so I highly recommend that you get treatment now before you go down the rabbit hole.
I know you think that forced hospitalization is the worst thing that can happen. But I can tell you that the shit storm that my life was before I figured things out was far worse than 5 days in a hospital.
Just be honest about your symptoms. If they ask "are you a danger to yourself or others?" - say no. And other than that you'll be fine.
>>768240245
>Got dog
Talk about small dreams?
>>768218714
Same mans. Our spirits are here for you Goi.
>>768219915
I ain't tha guy you replied too, but I'm lonely cuz of a sever lack of girlfriends man.
>>768240280
Some people fantasize about sex but I fantasize about death. That instant where absolutely nothing matters anymore.
>>768238699
Are you investing any effort in having relationships, with your father or anyone else?
People don't just spontaneously decide to take an interest in you. You have to be doing things that make it so others engage with you and enjoy those engagements. If not, you're stuck in catville, population Chairman Meow and you.
>>768240426
That's incredibly edgy. I feel you though.
>>768240339
Just one more box to check. I thought when I had all of these things I would be "happy" but now I realize it's going to be a day by day slog until death.
>>768240498
Yeah. The prospect of my daughter growing up without a Dad keeps me from getting serious about it.
My fucking biceps won’t grow and I’ve been working out constantly for three months and eating right. All this to entertain some girls who have had no interest in me for 22 years and I think a better body will attract biggest fucking meme I fell for
Lonely a/f
Not a virgin but never been in a relationship
Down to one friend and im not even a big fan of him
Work sucks ass
Dad died last year at 46 of cjd fucked up brain disease and his brain disintegrated... died a month after we noticed something going on
Always wanted to hero... but keep listening to moralfags who have everything they want and tell me im being a selfish bitch
My latest fucked up thing is wishing mum would die painlessly in a car crash or something... so i can hero guilt free
I'm 35 and went back to college. Just a technical school but i've never done anything after high school. I'm so pissed i can't find an internship for my degree. I feel its because i'm an adult and they want young kids.
Some fucking kid who wasn't ready for a real job graduated but took an internship at county engineering department. So he fucked me out of it because he wasn't ready to work yet. Fucking pos.
>>768240796
Lifting for grills is where you lost. Lift to better yourself and it'll fall into place
>>768240332
I'm not ill i can;t be ill, it wouldn't make sense it. I respect the fields of medicine and science and what they can do other. But they're not for me. I can't doubt what I've seen because then I can no longer trust reality. I think I just have to accept that what I'm seeing is true rather than doubt my sanity. From an outsiders perspective this is extremely idiotic, close minded and arrogant. However, it is the most logical to assume that it is everything outside your consciousness is subject to doubt and not to ones own mind. I'm sure you found professional help useful but I don;t think i'm going crazy anymore, I'll feel better once i understand what's going on
>>768240930
glad you went back to college
I hope you do well.
>>768240930
>I'm 35 and went back to college
that's not good man
>>768241545
Different fag here but I'm 37 and started taking classes again last year. What's wrong with that?
>>768240796
beta fag
>>768218514
Is it still murder if you arent convicted?
>>768241786
Your life has reached a certain point where you should of committed to a career and have started your life. College and education is what one does at the earlier stages of their life. Doing it this late is not only redundant and counter intuitive as not many people want to hire older grads, but the debt you'll receive and the extra years off your life will continue to put your future in Limbo for a piece of paper you should have gotten 15 years or so ago saying you can work. Bettering yourself is good but it's like putting expensive frosty on an old cake
>>768241409
Thanks brother. It helps.
>>768240492
Yeah, the problem is that I'm not very interesting or intelligent, not very good looking, not rich, and I'm so socially inept that I can hardly talk to people unless spoken to first. I wouldn't have much to offer to someone else anyways. I don't know what to discuss aside whatever someone needs from me if they decide to talk to me. It's all so tiring.
>>768218514
I really fucking miss you Celeste. That's the only thing bugging me right now.
>>768241287
>i'm going crazy anymore, I'll feel better once i understand what's going on
>I'm not ill
>continues to be obviously ill
Seek help please
Life’s pretty shit. If only I could just wake up and think differently and just have a new start.
>>768242254
I disagree tbh.
Anyone in this thread just a fucking master at life? How do you do it.. I want to be a master.
met this girl on fetlife, 29 year old virgin with no confidence. debating on meeting her on saturday
>>768243291
Don’t, you’re gonna ruin it
I've failed at life. And by that, I mean at every little thing I've tried.
I wasted 5 years at college and 2 at a graduate course to get nowhere. I have plenty of ex-colleagues that are doing at least decently in their lives, but I'm stuck at a low-pay job that has nothing to do with my major.
I have no social skills, I don't excel in anything and I'm as unremarkable as possible.
I have no perspective to get anywhere in life and I'm just languishing at work and in my bedroom.
>>768243332
oh...im the 29 year old virgin. sorry poor phrasing...
>>768243367
>failed at everything
>has a college degree
>>768218514
I'm losing the connection with my gf of 2 years. I don't want to break it off, but I feel I should.
>>768243291
Go for it.
