Would you willingly be roommates with a giant talking snake?
>>768159447
Does it pay rent on time and do its own dishes?
>>768159556
He has his own job and doesn't use dishes.
Will... will he bite?
>>768160133
Then yes.
>>768159447
No, he'd be a distraction
>>768159447
It depends on if it'll let me fuck it or not.
>>768160265
No, absolutely not. He's kinda like a normal person that's a snake.
>>768160394
Distraction how?
>>768160407
I'm not sure but if you ask him politely he might say yes.
>>768160309
Cool, I'll let him know.
>>768159447
Only if he drags out "s" sounds in sentances in a comical fashion.
>>768160582
>Distraction how?
Distractions to my studies
>>768159447
I don't trust snakes, he'd probably choke and eat me in my sleep
And I'm already roommates with a talking dog, anyway
>>768160689
He's actually really self conscious about that.
>>768160919
Maybe he could help? Are you studying herpetology?
>>768161058
>I don't trust snakes, he'd probably choke and eat me in my sleep
That's racist.
>>768159447
100% i will turn their shedding into my clothes!!
>>768161587
That's a little weird but alright!
>>768159447
finally something thats long enough to deepthroat my dick /s
>>768161587
>>768161694
Dont know how nutritious it is would eat that skin too. Any idea is snakebro would curl up into a couch so I can recline on him whilst we Netflix together.
Snakebro willing to help me seduce women?
Does he have hypnotic eye?
>>768159447
What species is "He"?? Kinda a deal breaker.. can't have any rattles in my space
>>768162063
>Dont know how nutritious it is would eat that skin too.
He might be weirded out by that.
>Any idea is snakebro would curl up into a couch so I can recline on him whilst we Netflix together.
That's definitely one of his favorites things to do.
>Snakebro willing to help me seduce women?
Yes.
>Does he have hypnotic eye?
No silly, that's a cartoon thing.
>>768162183
titanoboa cerrejonensis
As long as he's not late on rent
>>768159447
Only if he would let me sleep curled up in his snug coils and help me explore my soft-vore curiosity.
Can it be a femsnek that'll let me fuck her?
>>768162554
Male snakes have a slit too... you won't be able to penetrate deep enough to tell the difference...
>>768162488
He won't be, he has a very good job.
>>768162553
The curled up snug part yeah, he's very much a hugger. Not sure about the vore part, he's uncomfortable with the idea of hurting others and being blamed for it.
>>768162554
He's a guy.
>>768162683
Or you could let his double-dick do things, although you should ask him about it.
>>768162838
>He's a guy.
no deal then
I understand snakes "hear" by feeling vibrations. What kind of music does snakebro listen to? Does he mind metal?
depends
>>768159447
I mean, if he's a bro then sure.
>>768159447
Does he want to make me a king, or eat my face?
He's not gonna bring like 50 badgers over to do mushrooms every weekend is he?
>>768159447
yes
>>768159447
Are you not already?
>tfw no giant snek to bully u with his fangs
>>768162869
Sexist
>>768162943
He likes beats with strong base, so can feel it.
>>768163014
... on?
>>768163020
Yep!
>>768163057
>Make me a king
???
>>768163200
Nah, he's clean.
>>768163220
Great!
>>768163221
I'm helping him move.
What is his name? How old is the snake? What job the snake have?
>>768163297
Art like this makes him blush.
>>768163612
>name
Aurelian
>age
26
>job
therapist
>>768163612
Sssssteven the sssseven yo excssssterminator.
>>768163963
Snake therapist!!! This just seems to write itself for you huh??
What he eats? Is he dangerous? I have pets, will they be in danger if Aurelian is around?
>>768164148
:)
>>768164318
Meat. No danger to humans, probably a danger to everything else. It's not like your pets are cooler than him anyway though.
>>768164430
He's not killing my livestock and getting away with it.
>>768164123
source?
>>768159447
Are there any special accommodation I need to be aware of? Are we splitting the electric? A giant heat rock is gonna cost and loot...
>>768165557
Bump
>>768164547
Livestock? Do you live on the farm? He's a city snake.
>>768165557
He does prefer to pay for his own things but you'll have a lot of reptile stuff strewn about the room.
>>768159447
Would snakebro back me up in fights?? Nd is the place in his name?? Transportation??
>>768167838
Yeah.
>Nd is the place in his name??
What?
>Transportation??
Uh... slithering?
>>768159447
Depends. Is he a shit talking snake?
>>768169387
Nah, he's very chill and enjoys cuddling.
>>768164812
https://youtu.be/HwEGP441p1A
>>768159447
A giant talking snake is liable to have no arms, shed often, leave droppings everywhere, and constantly do that thing they do with their tongues. And eat larger mammals. It is inconvenient to find the skeletons of several neighborhood cats compressed into feces on the living room floor. And snakes are reptiles, and those are cold-blooded. Meaning I might suffer in hotter weather. And, his suggested lax sense of personal space in the thread is unsettling. I am not interested in becoming that intimate with the body of a giant snake.
No. If a giant talking snake were my roommate it would not be of my own free will.
>>768171090
The snake is civilized and would steep so low as to defecate on the floor like some sort of lowly animal! Also yeah, while he enjoys cuddling, you don't HAVE to, he's not going to eat or rape you, if that's your concern.
>>768171215
*would not
>>768169130
That faggots gonna need wheels it's 2018.
Is the place in my name or his??? It's important to me!
>>768171491
He can't drive... he doesn't have hands.
The place is in your name since he's moving in with you.
>>768171571
He can get a bunch of hover boards nd do pretty well I imagine
>>768159447
Depends, will it kill me? If not, i'm not interested
>>768171215
The fact that it enjoys cuddling, that cuddling the snake is an open invitation and not simply a nonfactor is undesirable. I am not convinced that eating or rape won't occur. It is a giant talking snake versus a human being that does not have the reaction time of a hummingbird. There is nothing I can do to stop the snake from overpowering me like a helpless lab mouse. And there is the incredibly uncomfortable lack of knowledge regarding the psychological rundown detailing why the snake likes cuddling or physical contact. I am not welcome to the idea of a giant snake therapist that is perfectly okay with abandoning concepts of personal space for pleasure or enjoyment. It is a giant snake. Physical contact will be impossible to avoid.
My concern for human safety grows. This giant snake is a great threat to my well being. Skeletons do not flush.
>>768172028
But he IS a therapist and his job is to listen. If you say "I don't enjoy cuddling" or "I don't want you touching me at all" or fuck it, even "dude, you scare me, I see you as a threat" he would understand.
He can talk with you on why you feel scared and what you two can do about it, if you both reach the conclusion that touching is still an absolute no-go than he'll respect that. He's your roommate, not your lover.
>>768171090
I thought the powerful stomach acids and long digestion process of snakes actually dissolved bone as well?
So your skull wouldn't clog up the the toilet, I mean?
>>768173222
His skull won't be in the toilet though. Look, I know snakes are traditionally associated with betrayal and the devil, but that doesn't mean that he specifically will eat you in your sleep and digest you.
>>768173511
what DOES he eat then?
anything bought from the supermarket is fine, I might tolerate whole wild prey depending on the species and if I get to watch the process but feeding on neighbourhood pets is totally unacceptable and I'm calling the cops
>>768173862
Fine, if you really really want to, I'm sure you can convince him to let you hand put food in his mouth and watch him swallow intimately. As for what to put into his mouth, generally anything large and raw (dead being optional).
>>768159447
Would he suck my big black dick?
Does he keep himself clean?
I aint rooming with filth
What's snakebro majoring in?
Can I have a meaningful relationship with the snake?
>>768174210
He's more of a dom, possessing two dicks himself.
>>768174344
>Does he keep himself clean?
Yes.
>What's snakebro majoring in?
He majored in psychology and is a therapist.
>>768174523
With this one specifically: yes!
>>768174523
Help I'm getting contact autism!
>>768174523
how does the day and night cycle work in this scenario
Count me in Op. I was searching for someone to be roommates with'
>>768172869
It is possible to hug someone and not be their lover. Coexistence with the giant snake is not possible. It should not exist.
>>768173222
Do not vomit on me.
Does snake bro have mating piles outside or inside?? This is a concern.. would he consider letting me have a tooth to wear to symbolize our bond? Since no arms, does he not use the door since no open? That means custom install for for him?
>>768174907
Great! You're added to the 'potentials' list.
>>768174949
What are you scared of that you couldn't to him about?
>>768174969
>Does snake bro have mating piles outside or inside?
Outside.
>would he consider letting me have a tooth to wear to symbolize our bond?
Yeah, but not his own.
>Since no arms, does he not use the door since no open? That means custom install for for him?
Good point, yes and yes.
>>768174969
nah
i'm sure he could use his mouth to operate knobs and handles too
if it sucked my dick and didn't constantly want to eat people sure
>>768175619
>didn't constantly want to eat people sure
He never has nor will eat any human.
>if it sucked my dick
But he isn't into that.
>>768175754
not even if they're wearing a snake proof suit?
>>768175198
It is a potential threat to my well being. It has no arms. It has no legs. Yet it could sever my spine quicker than I could blink. And it talks. And can think. It is big, and breathes my air, and drinks my water, and will compete with me for resources. For social standing. For space. And it is not above erring. No human is. No snake is. No animal, is. The natural order has been unbalanced. The situation is too alien. It is a giant snake.
There can only be one apex predator.
>>768176107
That dude didn't go through with though. Although Aurelian is much larger and more able to swallow and regurgitate someone with some degree of safety, he doesn't want to hurt anyone, even if accidentally.
>>768176299
Though he's only professionally trained as a therapist, Aurelian took some classes in psychiatry to help insane people. Do... do you want me to give him a call?
I want to live with (get fucked by) the snake!
>>768176461
Awesome! He'll be glad to hear it.
>>768176451
I want the giant snakes to stop infiltrating human society and leave Earth.
>>768176626
apes are really gross, why couldn't we be descendants of a cooler species like leopards or something
at least the wolves have allowed us to hang out with them even though we're so uncool
IF IT DOESN'T HAVE THUMBS I DON'T LIKE IT
>>768176783
I see through your speciesist psyops, giant snake.
>>768176967
Nope, that's someone else. Aurelian likes people.
>>768176581
Does he send noodz?
>>768177243
more importantly, what kind of clothes does he normally wear
>not a female snake
>no snek cloaca
no deal mate fuck off you slithering faggot
I am filled with fear for my safety in an unfamiliar situation.
>>768177605
do you suggest male snakes poop out their mouths?
either way, I'm sure he can give amazing head if you're into that sort of thing
>>768163020
Pretty much this.
I feel like he'd be a good chick magnet at bars too. "Hey Anon hows it going? Hey Ouroboros, how's the constant and unending battle between Thor holding up?"
Dude's bound to have some good stories at least. Like how he became a giant talking snake for one.
There is a giant snake and I feel threatened.
>>768178271
did we establish the actual size? Like, is he human sized or Jörmungandr sized?
I guess he would have to fit inside a large apartment somehow at least?
>>768178815
Op's pic related
