Why is being submissive so much more fun in theory than being dominant? Is the answer porn addiction? Or is it deeper than that?
Not like anyone would want to dom me anyway, I'm a balding 20 year old male.
Self bump, I need this question answered
>>768124798
It's less exercise.
>>768125066
Explain
>>768124798
Its only more fun if you are already a sissy cuck faggot. Real men want to dominate.
>>768125066
this.
Because you don't have to make decision or take initiatives, you can just be lazy and that is something we all love
>>768126000
and only insecure fucks like this will tell you otherwise
>>768126000
nice trips bro
>>768125372
Not him, but more often the sub just has things done to them; the dom has to put in the work.
>>768124798
>I'm a balding 20 year old male.
>>768124798
No one wants to be dominated unless they are a weak limped dick faggot.
>>768124798
ive spoken to a bunch of people from the community through the years dominant & submissive and everyone just has their own reasons dude
there is no main reason, a lot of subs are really worthless or something and some are actually people with a lot of power in life who just like to have fun changing things up around
>>768126178
insecure insel spotted
some people want to be wanted or needed, and if someone is dominating them that means they are desired or useful.
I'd say if it's something you're insecure about consider what would not make you want to be dominate or equal in a sexual situation. Is pleasing another person confusing? Are you worried about not being capable? Are you in poor shape and fear you'll get tired before you or they're finished?
If it's because of those reasons, you should worry about self improvement more than being self conscious about fantasies.
However, if you're having a hard time placing yourself in sexual situations (you'd rather watch, you fantasize about unrealistic or impossible situations and that's the only way you can get off) that's a different issue. It could be a personal fear of inadequacy or it could be porn addiction.
Then again if you're spending too much time on porn or jerking, you're problem not out in the gym or in as many social situations, so that's another thing to think about.
>>768124798
Taking the dominant part is more work.
You have to orchestrate the whole thing, are responsible to give the submissive part what it wants without a slipup of actually doing serious harm.
Actually, you as the dominant part are more or less follow the rules the submissive part set. If you don't understand this, you don't understand the whole thing.
>>768126858
Fuck. I'm too tired to write properly.
>>768126000
Yes I hate myself and cuckold and sissy stuff gets me off. I wish it didn't.
>>768127052
See
>>768126708
>if you're having a hard time placing yourself in sexual situations (you'd rather watch, you fantasize about unrealistic or impossible situations and that's the only way you can get off) that's a different issue. It could be a personal fear of inadequacy or it could be porn addiction.
>>768127269
So what's to be done about it? I've had sissy thoughts for like 4 years and have gotten off to cuck/interracial in the past year 1/2. At this point feels like its part of me and I'm stuck like this, with my turn one being set in stone. For a while I actually thought I was trans too.
Also, what's with this porn addiction shit?
No one is addicted to a coping mechanism, they are addicted to coping. There's nothing wrong with spanking it to porn. Hell, there's not even anything wrong with having fantasy relationships instead of real ones, as long as that's an informed choice. The problem is when you use a coping mechanism instead of ever dealing with your issues, or use one brainlessly.
>>768126708
>However, if you're having a hard time placing yourself in sexual situations (you'd rather watch, you fantasize about unrealistic or impossible situations and that's the only way you can get off) that's a different issue. It could be a personal fear of inadequacy or it could be porn addiction.
This is me. This is me so much. I have a gf but she's unattractive and boring in bed, but I'm a total sperg so I know I should just be grateful to have a gf at all. So my compromise is that I fap to porn every chance I get. If I need kink, porn, but if I just need a physical release then gf.
I've tried to get her to watch porn with me but she just doesn't get it. She has no kink, no desire to be kinky/naughty, no real fantasies at all. She just wants quickies and thinks that's all there is to sex because "we both cum every time already so what's the point of doing more?"
She was a literal kissless virgin when we met, thought sex was icky and all that childish nonsense. She's never been left wanting, never had to please, never had to get herself off, never even got to explore porn/herself in those formative teen years because her nosy, overprotective family never let her have that much time alone.
She's like those hot girls that are so spoiled by men that all they ever do is lay there and take it, except she's not hot.
my job involves me being an alpha male and making decisions. it's a very nice mental vacation to fully submit to another person.
>>768128287
Fetlife is your friend, dude. Put up pictures, be honest about who you are and what your situation is.
And, in my limited experience, the kind of people that you want to sleep with are more into who you are as a person than if you are hot or not. Are you interesting? What are you passionate about? What do you have to offer?
>>768124798
why is she waving her hand like that?
did she fart and is now trying to drive the smell away?
sorry OP, I do not share your fart fetish - that is some brazilian-tier crap
>>768127052
speaking of sissy, I really enjoy watching my lil 16yo sis getting fucked like a whore by her colored bf
ofc they don't realize they're being watched, and that fact alone turns me on even more
I might be a voayeur
>>768124798
Why you write in theory? Being a sub is also fun in reality...
>>768129337
You need help
>>768128248
you literally just defined addiction
>>768127913
take time off porn, which is hard for some people. Focus on yourself. All those things that seem generic that you can do to improve (reading, working out, trying new things, getting out more) really work and they don't do themselves. It's not an intuitive answer, but the brain is not often intuitive. Basically you need to rewire yourself, and to do that, you cut yourself off from the old habits, and dive into new ones.
>>768128287
yea, honestly if you're not attracted and she has no desire to change you need to get out. Work on yourself, focus on meeting new people.
>>768129337
I'd suggest getting your own girl and fucking her instead of watching your sister fuck her boyfriend. That's really bad anon.
>>768129337
what is your problem
>>768124798
I’ve been submissive ever since school gym class.
I always had tighty whities until high school when all the other guys took the piss out of me in the changing rooms one time.
They said they were like panties and I was queer for wearing them. It never occurred to me they were weird.
I never wore them again and went to boxer style briefs but I kept the others as they’d now taken on a different meaning.
Eventually began trying on my sisters actual panties and then it was a slippery slope...
Each gym class the alpha/jock guys would never let up about it and tease me that I missed my “panties” and that I wanted to “be a bitch”.
I guess it was always there but was plainly re-enforced by the massive difference between me and these other guys
>>768130134
You don't have to let your past define you anon. You need to see that you yourself are dangerous too. Right now I think you think of yourself as harmless. If you realized your potential maybe you'd realize those other guys aren't above you. In fact they're probably insecure in their masculinity themselves, as all highschhcool kids are.
>>768130002
>>768130066
I think I might be in love with my sis
we used to snuggle on a couch just 3 years back
it probably wasn't (as) sexual for her, but I did get idea and would fap like crazy later on
even nowadays I give her a courtesy slap on the butt here and there, and she doesn't seem to mind
I know fucking my own sister would be wrong, so I guess watching her get rammed is a bargain for me
oh and btw I did have a gf until recently, but she never managed to turn me on or even make me feel comfy like sis does
>>768130617
Go to a therapist, that is a deeply rooted psychological issue and if you work it out your sex, romantic, and platonic life will be better for it.
>>768124798
My first girlfriend was really submissive and far more experienced than me at the time. I really loved her and was a total lost moron in our relationship. I totally didn’t get that I was meant to be so dominant with her and was always so timid doing anything “too extreme” even when she asked for it...
We broke-up when I found out she’d been fucking this big rugby guy behind my back who had a reputation as a guy that gets lots of pussy. Obviously he did more of what she wanted...
I guess my ego got fucked at that stage and I went really insular and became near-addicted to submissive trap/sissy porn.
It was gradual but it became clear that the submissive vibe I loved seemed to come more from imagining being submissive myself instead of wanting that in a girl.
So for me a combo of a fucked-up in-too-deep relationship + weird porn has made me pretty exclusively turned-on as a submissive.
>>768124798
Sissy porn made me gay
And probably a trap in about 2 years
>>768130868
This
>>768130819
And this (but not absolutely the same)
>>768130819
>>768130868
>>768131066
This stuff isn't normal or heathy guys.
>>768131182
>>768130868
I know. I’m seeing a therapist about it. But an option on the table is still transitioning.
Trans-stuff is such a hot topic now I’m trying to be cautious and not follow some insane trend recommended by progressive therapists.
But I can’t say it doesn’t appeal to me at all.
>>768124798
Shave you're head and post pic faggot
>>768132253
I was in the exact same boat as you. But for me I first asked myself if I always felt like a girl when I was a kid. Answer was no, I didn't think about it and assumed my role as a male. Then I asked would being a tranny actually be a fulfilling life for me long term, would I be truly happy? I came to the conclusion that no, I was better off making do with what I got. I was born a male for a reason I think. Now I'm trying to fix myself, and build a life for myself that I can be content in. It's hard though, sissy stuff could still get me going, cuck stuff too, humiliation, etc. but all I can do is try.
>>768132762
Hahah hell no
>>768133901
Then only shave your head
>>768133401
Good to hear from others! Makes me feel reassured somewhat.
Best of luck with your plan. I really hope it turns out right for you! :-)
I’m definitely on the fence. Part of me likes the idea of being a proper well-put-together sort of guy. But sissy stuff is just so exciting and I can see myself happy as the more submissive/passive partner in a relationship if I went that route.
I start uni next year so my plan (if I’m brave enough) is to treat it as a fresh start and maybe explore having a boyfriend (or domme girlfriend if they really exist).
There’s a weird relief and relaxation I imagine if I’m living in more of a girl mode with a partner who contrasts that.
>>768134081
Balance in your life. For me, I'm trying to cut out porn. When I was into it, sissy stuff was intoxicating, but an escape method. It took over so much of my life. I related to the world through the lens of sissy porn. That's not going to lead to a healthy fulfilled life. Sex has its place for sure in life, but when it's directly effecting many other aspects of your life in a negative way, than its time to make a change. So I did away wth the sissy stuff. And cuck stuff. Those things are not able to be intergated into my life in a healthy manner, or really anyone's I don't think. They are bad. If your submissive sexually, that's fine, but it shouldn't control your whole life. Good luck anon.
>>768134647
>>768134081
In other words don't transition because of a fetish, that won't lead to anything good. And it's hard to know if the sissy stuff is a fetish brought about by low self esteem and a bit of misogyny, or something deeper rooted in what you are.
>>768134849
Or could it be because they're actually GAY?
bisexual anon here , probably lean towards female attraction more so since I find pretty much all females attractive as long as they aren't morbid obese. But guys wise , I like tall/muscular guys and no attraction at all to guys who don't fit that mold.
Not much of a fan with submission when with women but with men I'm pretty much strictly a bottom and like being abused. Not abused like hitting or rough stuff like that but I pretty much strictly do sucking/and getting fucked. Only been a top once and not really a fan. If I'm going to fuck , generally only appealing to do that with women.
Although I feel more attracted towards females too , been with more guys. Guess just seems easier to start up relationships up with men or maybe it's just been luck.
>>768135437
Being gay and being into sissy shit are very different. Sissy shit has a much physchological component to it, gender bending, porn addiction preying, low self esteem, ect
>>768136614
How is sucking/getting fucked? How does it feel physically and psychologically.
Do you have a racial preference?
Which is more fun, getting being sub or fucking girls?
Also how tall are you?
>>768136711
Maybe that's true for some guys, while for others it seems that they can't admit that they re gay and hide behind that sissy bullshit
>>768136882
Sucking/Getting fucked is amazing but that's because it's with guys I'm attracted to. I sometimes get those tingly feelings if I'm near tall/muscular. It's as much thrilling as it is physically pleasing.
My preference is probably white/black as that's the only races I've been with.
Sex wise , I have more fun with men but I'm definitely more attracted to females.
I'm 5 ft 9
>>768126000
Bullshit... Real men don't need to because they're not insecure. Being dominated is actually a very common fantasy among men of power.
>>768137632
I gave one once but I didn't really enjoy the experience because the guy was not attractive to me, does that really make a lot of difference?
>>768137979
Can only speak for myself. I have zero interest in guys who aren't hot/tall/muscular.
Got a good gay friend who I've known for a while and I kind of feel bad because he's said he likes me but basically did the equivalent of a gay friendzone with him. He's 5 ft 7 and the idea of me being intimate with him feels like a chore even though he's a great guy. I'm pretty shallow with men but that's how I instinctfully operate I guess. But with women , it's the complete opposite , generally with gals, I can find most girls appealing and if they are cool , I can look past a lot of things.
>>768138456
It's hard for me to imagine kissing a guy unless I found him insanely attractive and cool. Girls I could make out with 3/10 and above. So I guess we are kinda similar. Except I would like to fuck a submissive tiny twink fag too.
>>768138874
Main thing with guys is just that they are tall and hot. Couple of the relationships I had with guys pretty much didn't work out for that reason. Since one was kind of a dick but probably the hottest guy I've ever been with and we lived together for like a year. But was kind of an emotional roller coaster. Kind of had to be convinced/shown the light by friends that he wasn't worth it.
Also sometimes I think some girls are uncomfortable dating a guy who finds dudes attractive. But I let girls know because don't think it's worth it to not be honest about it and feel like they should know.