Feeling loathsome and I want to vent.
Soo I technically had a loli gf when I was 20. she was also 19 years old, 5'1, had nice hips and A-cup breasts, and was a massive weeb. We dated for about 3 and a half years and I was happy with her. She was in to DDLG shit and liked it when we role played before and during sex, although she took it farther than I would. Like doing shit to make me 'discipline' her, which I didn't like doing. She was a bit..dumb, though, like she had dyslexia, was bipolar, and 'social anxiety disorder'..
We broke up because she wanted to just be passive and dependent and I told her I wasn't gonna provide for her if she wouldn't try to be independent and like..find a little job or make and sell artwork or SOMETHING! We were in our early 20s and still living with our parents in a dead end rural community with about 90,000 people in it. All we did was sleep over at each other's houses every week, watch anime and fuck. It was literally heaven for the first two years but things eventually got stagnated. I worked 40 hours a week at a veterinary clinic as an assistant and eventually her parents cut her off financially, so I began having to pay for all her shit too. This caused her to become even more complacent, and when I would bring up our situation and what I wanted us to do she'd just shrug it off. So I put my foot down and she had a metal breakdown, was committed for trying to take her own life (tried to overdose on advil and Tylenol) and when she got out a month later she didn't love me anymore.
I miss her. 6 months later she found a guy that makes twice the amount of money I made and he even got her off her ass and into a nice house I could literally never afford, and word is they're expecting a baby.
I'll never find a girl like her again ;_; so now I fap to loli hentai trying to recapture what I had lost. Tell me, /b/. Was I being unrealistic in my desires? Was I wrong for falling so hard for her? Or was I being used? I still can't decide.
bump with Sylvie
Every now and then I just can't help but think about her. Sometimes it really depresses me to think about the time we had, other times it doesn't.
She recently added me on Discord and said hello. I ignored it and deleted the message, but still accepted her request.
>>767999604
Annon life isnt fair , the only thing you can do is accept reality and move on , jacking off to loli hentai doesnt help as you will dwell too much on that which you lost and may lead to anxiety and if you cant detach of the though of her existence think of how pathetic you are , your hate for your life will make you move on.
i hope you feel better OP. don't want your thread to die prematurly so ill leave you with some words od wisdom
"it really do be like that sometimes"
look, if she tried to off herself once, theres a good chance she will try again in the future. if her freaking out and trying to kill herself was why you left, then i say you dodged a bullet, because its unlikely that that was a one off occurence.
>>767999846
i love sylvie so much.
>>767999861
That's what I keep telling myself, for the most part. But the more I try to ignore it the worse it feels when I see her. I don't know if that's normal. I know life isn't fair and I'm not entitled to anything, especially the affection of another person.
As for the loli stuff I suppose you'd be correct. It'd be like a guy with an irish ex gf only fapping to redhead porn. I could start fapping to regular hentai and porn again (which I do) but I always wind up thinking about the sex I had with her. She wasn't my first nor my last. but she was the best.
>>768000246
If you know that you feel pain when you see her , try to accommodate yourself with that feeling , you shouldnt run away from pain as it damages you more.You can try maybe seeing some pictures of her and get used to it , if you can rationalize pain , then you can overcome it.
You can still watch loli hentai , I kind kind of encourage it;the more you face your fear , the more you understand it.Try detaching your once loved with what you see is a start.
This is a cliche, but you really did dodge a bullet. It's good that it happened. When you're lonely and horny the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. You see the past through rose-coloured glasses. But this is a woman who would not put in the effort, would not grow up, would not be responsible. That's not a partner in life, that's a dependent. And not only that she takes it for granted.
This kind of person is an emotional drain on you for your entire life. You're free. Be happy.
>>768000135
honestly that's what literally everybody tells me. She was diagnosed with several blessings, like bipolar II disorder, dyslexia, and took ADD meds during her teens. She would also cut back when she was 15 but she eventually stopped. My friends and family all say that, "oh Anon if she's that unstable you're saving yourself future heartache"
But is it normal to still feel this way about a person? even after 4 years had passed? I've been in two relationships since then.
First real love stays in your memory for life. Speculating on what could've been won't do you any good. Take it as a lesson in life, tough decisions and actions is what makes you grow, pain is a big part of being human, what you're experiencing isn't wrong
>>768000522
I suppose that's one good way to look at it, despite it being a cliche. I do pick up on bullshit pretty fast, although that could just be me being nihilistic.
She definitely wasn't. Even after her parents cut her off financially the only thing stopping them from charging her rent was the likely fact that I'd be the one paying it. I had to pay rent to my parents, because they believed that if I have a job and can be legally kicked out I might as well earn my independence. That conservative mindset roiled around to her family as well, even though I stayed entire weeks at her place with her. She didn't even get her drivers license yet, all she has is an expired learners permit. I was 22 at the time and I had to pay rent to my family.
Feels weird to read this, my first gf was crazy af. We had a lot of sex in the beginning but after one year of relationship she always tried to start a fight and if i didn't commit to the fight(because I thought they were just a waste of time) she would pull her hair out and try to throw herself off the balcony.
Never had a gf after her, although i would also like a gf that likes anime and gaming.
Anon, as much as you miss it, you will find a lot of women are like that. Maybe not committing suicide crazy, but definitely a lot of them want to just be provided for and wont want to actually grow up.
Its best you avoid those types anyway. The sex is great with them sure, but your end game is to have children. If your partner isnt going to help you in the process of making and supporting children, then they werent worth your time anyway.
>>767999604
yeah you really fucked up bad, like really really bad
people who are more successful than you or i look and fail to find what you had, even if you think it wasnt much
if you really werent happy then you werent happy, but fuck i'd regret that for the rest of my life
>>767999604
jesus. this takes me back.
When i was 16. I started dating my 2nd gf.
She was cute a cute mexican girl she was 14 if i remember right. we ended up dating all through highschool, and i'm 100% sure i loved her....one night though, god that was an awful night i cut it off. i was turning 18 and her parents hated me. i told her she meant alot to me but i couldn't get in to legal trouble for her.
Safe to say see didn't take things to well..first she tried killing her self, took like 30 benny.
then she turned gay for a bit. and just now shes gonna marry some 25 year old with inheritance up the ass.
the point is well there is no point, losing is apart of living and there's no getting around it.
>>768001174
>>767999604
>implying that literaly the same thing that happened to you wont happen to other guy
you think someone is willing to have a burden of a person on their neck for the entirety of their life? they will be happy for a bit he will get tired with her shit and kick her out, but now she will also have a baby on her, you dodged a useless person stop thinking with your dick
>>767999604
how the fuck is 19 years old "technically a loli gf"
also why are you jealous now when you told her to fuck off because she was being useless? it sounds like shes still useless with no job so whats there to even be jealous of?
fucking faggot
>>767999604
Youre good. You two wanted different things, m8. Thats just how it is sometimes.
There are other girls out there that are into what youre into. Just get good at being you amd dont grt hung up on your faults/shortcomings. Youll meet some of them eventually. Good luck, op.
Also,loli porn is next-level degen shit-tier. Clearly imagining and doing are different things, but maybe imagine something less...gross? Just a suggestion, friendo
>>768001174
What the fuck are you trying say?
>>768001552
This
/thread
>>768001552
Because she fit the build and it was capitalized on during our relationship. Like I said in the OP she was into DDLG, which means daddy-dom-little-girl. And we were both degenerate weeaboos that liked hentai and shit, hell we watched Shiny Days and fucked like dogs while it played.
She was into loli role play as well and even had a collection of doujins and hentai. I'm not getting into the whole 'loli is pedophilia' vs 'loli is a body style/thousand year old vampire' debate because that isn't the point of this thread, but I do align with the latter.
>>767999604
A healthy relationship is about mutual agreement and compromise. When you were together, she clearly wasn't ready to compromise about her neet lifestyle while you were working hard for the upkeep of both of you.
I think you did the right thing, even though it'll probably be hard to find someone that "hits your spot" just the way she did. I recommend you go looking online for people who share interests like you have.
Life is tough right now for you, but you'll live. Make the most out of it and rebuild your life.
>>768002139
im glad you are unhappy about it now
>>768001612
I can never really find that level of emotional gratification I felt with her though. I mentioned in an earlier post that I was in two relationships after the breakup. Let me elaborate.
One was a tinder girl. started off as a meme, but then we actually wound up meeting up and dating, but then after about a month in we just lost interest and mutually ended the relationship. Then I met a girl at a convention through a series of friends. she was into all the same weird shit I was (hentai, didn't object to loli, cosplay fetishism) and was 5'4 with C cup sized breasts, so sex wasn't an issue. But I just didn't feel the same level of affection I guess? and she was in a similar situation with a guy who basically cheated on her and fucked her over financially and she was still getting over that. I didn't learn that bit from her, though.
>>767999604
Women only care about income. Some day she will leave that guy if another one with better income comes along.
>>768002904
That, again, is just how things are. How long were you with this girl your feeling over? Years right? Deep bonds take years to form.
I suggest not worrying about who youll end up getting old with just yet. Just sew your oats and bide your time. Meet girls to meet people rather than to meet partners, right? Which ones are truly, deeply right for you is never immediately clear. You gotta read a few chapters to get a feel for the book. Not just for what it's about, but for what it's like. You get what I'm saying, m8?
Life is the kind of game that rewards patience and diligence, my friend, but only when applied in the right amounts and at the right times. If you only ever trust one thing you read here tonight, trust this.
>>767999604
OP you dodged a huge bullet. Move on.
>>768003000
Can't argue those trips tho.
>>767999604
She's a retarded parasite and she will screw over her new companion one way or another.
You're pathetic.
>>768002427
That's honestly the best advice I've heard. I still try to keep a positive outlook on things. It's just what bothers me is that I was just a few pages in her life whereas she was several chapters in mine. Like I said before, after she was discharged for attempting to take her own life, she told me that she didn't love me anymore and that we were over. That tells me right there that something wasn't right, and logically that should be enough... but it wasn't. It wasn't until she met a guy that has a better job, got a house for the two of them, and a baby on the way that I realized that I had to block her out. But that just hurts more.
I suppose now I could just keep pushing on. I've already accepted that I'll never get her back, and even if somehow we do it shouldn't be the same..
>>768000540
yeah its normal. i know how it feels. she has problems and people tell you its for the better you broke up and it probably is, but you still want her.
Oh well, time to find another girl like her and repeat that all over again. Thats the best option. Or you'll hang on to her too much and it will really fuck you up and make you a desperate loser.
>>767999604
Just move on. She was 19, she's probably grown up more since then. You should've never started paying for her stuff. It only made her more lazy.
And what you described your relatoinship was like is what all young relationships are like. You don't start getting into good relationships until later into your 20s.
Her parents most likely babied her too much which led to her becoming a freeloader. I've seen this happen with several 18-20 year olds, I was even like this.
>>767999604
Chances are she would have monkey branched over to that other richer guy in time even if you didn't tell her off if she was a pure and through leech. I would go focus on yourself and improving your life without worrying too much about her, you'll never stop thinking about her otherwise, chances are due to how women have a self preservation instinct to never take responsability for their actions, she most likely sees you as some sort of villain now and will most likely never admit that she was at fault for not contributing. Really best to move on and improve yourself bro.
>>768003861
I'm kind of used to giving advice how to cope with life, since the two close friends I've got have gone through years of depression and trouble in their lives.
Trying to keep the positive view on things will make up for a lot in the long run. Try to smile and remind yourself of even the little good things in your life that you enjoy - that way you'll slowly "cheat" your overall mood to become better.
A break-up after several years of commitment and apparent "ideal relationship" will definitely feel bad even years later, and it is something that you're gonna gave to work with to get over it. It is a big step that you've already acknowledged the need to block her away, even though it feels bad now. But it'll help you heal better over time.
Keep doing the things you enjoy, try to get enough sleep, go for a little walk every day (even 15mins is good) and try not to eat like a dumpster. And go out to meet new people like >>768003443 said, as people instead of potential partners. Friendship is hella stable basis for a relationship in so many ways; speaking with experience of soon together for 8 years, after befriending and getting to know my fiance in upper secondary school.
If the tips seem too much for a sudden change, ease yourself into it little by little, and try to form a routine out of them.
Just keep going. Everything will turn out just fine.
>>767999604
>Impregnated by chad six months later
Just be glad you weren't still with her when it happened. Definitely seems like she was using you.
>>767999604
>I miss her. 6 months later she found a guy that makes twice the amount of money I made and he even got her off her ass and into a nice house I could literally never afford, and word is they're expecting a baby
Man that's just feels bad man.
Being happy is not so much about who you are with in relationship but how you are with yourself. When you learn to know yourself - and accept yourself! - and when know what you REALLY want, that's the essence of finding happiness. How to find happiness in relationship then? When you know what you want, just start meeting people. Don't be afraid of saying goodbye if your instinct warns you. Don't be afraid of leaving if you think that "you can find a way to be together despite xxxx" or if you're not accepting everything (including her faults) as a package. One person cannot change another without either one - or possibly both - feeling unhappy in the end. So if she tries to change you, it's a good reason to start packing as well. Of course people might grow, learn and start positive changes in their lifes but only if it comes from their inner self. What I try to say that even when someone can provide shit ton of sweet things into your life it really doesn't matter if it's not on solid ground.
Know thyself, know where you come from and what you want - then start pursuit and live your dreams. You will find a way.
Don't settle for lazy ass brats, bro ;) Some girls become too passive when they are with dominant male - if want good LG, good sub slut and not a pretty doll, don't fall for that. Also some subs try to dominate by being passive - it's their method of making you to do their things. Instead of becoming pussyslave for passive aggressive pretty doll try to find cute little sub slut that wants to please you and be worth of your respect. If she's beautifull, strong and intelligent the pleasure of her submitting to you is pure heaven. Even though every girl is unique in some perspective there's still plenty to choose from even if you have weird and high standards.
>>767999604
Do you have any pics of your ex, OP? Doesn't have to be nude, just curious what she looks like.
>>767999604
bump
>>768007347
i dont give a fuck. i have a slight of intelligence and brain power which makes me older than most of you retards here. i can understand 4chan before even having been on the site. You can't. All you can do is repeat random garbage because thats all you are. Basically what im trying to say is you're a fucking faggot.
>>768007347
Jesus christ where the fuck do faggots like you even come from.
ABCDEFGHI
I searched loli to fap not to feel.
>>768010604
from your moms asshole
>>767999604
Kill them both
>>768013503
rolling trips for this
>>768006633
Doubledubs of truth
>>767999604
Dwelling on the past makes you miserable and depressed. You'll never be able to move on. There are other women out there and clearly this relationship wasn't meant to work out. It's best to cut your losses and move on. Do not keep in contact with her, ignore her anytime she tries to talk to you, no matter how bad it hurts you. One girl is not worth setting yourself back in life over.
>>767999604
Dude you got lucky. Lazy bitches turn into fat bitches. You really want to come home to Amy Schumer every day? Now that lazy bitch is his problem.
>>767999604
>veterinary clinic as an assistant
Ahaha wow. That game almost defines your context. Except for your gf disloyalty.
As for your situation, imho let her go. Dealing people with mental issues will be a huge problem later on life. Might be hard for you, but things just come and go
