Help me /b/. I’m at my wits fucking end. My mom and sister have this goddamn dachshund that is the most evil fucking dog ever. It used to be just incessant barking at me and my dad, all day every day, especially when we came home from work. Mom and sis refuse to train it, so it barks and pisses all over everything. Recently it started biting. Dachshund so nothing major, but it goes for blood. Got it a few before. Its not like we mistreated it or anything, the only times we ever touch it is to beat it like an Irish wife when it bites us. Mom is ex stoner Facebook news boomer, and my sister is a total cunt, so no help from them. Dad won’t help, but i know if it turns up missing he’ll sleep easier. If I get bit one more time I’m going to become an hero. How to I get rid of this thing, without killing it, or without it coming back?
Take it to the woods and let a pack of wolves rape it into submission
>>767958317
>Facebook news boomer
i haven't been on facebook since 2012
>>767958679
No wolves. Plenty of coyote though
>>767958777
Take it for a walk, say he fought a coyote (being the pathetic beta you are it would be believable the dog pulled the leash out of your hands) and just disappeared in a cloud of dust and gore
>>767958317
I'm pretty sure if it draws blood you're legally allowed/required to put it down
>>767959203
That’s what I’m saying. Pretty sure my dad is about to snap and start a K/D
>>767959481
Or just steal it and drop it off at a pet adoption center. They'd probably just put it down themselves, but they might find a good owner that would train it. At least your shitty mom and sister couldn't ruin it more
I've had three Dachshunds and they've all been awesome. The one I have now is the sweetest fucking dog I've ever met.
Lack of training is definitely a factor here. How old is it? Honestly the best thing to do is surrounding it to a shelter so someone can actually raise it properly.
Why don't you just move out?
Wtf just train it. Make it your dog dude don't be an asshole. It's their instinct to follow a leader. They misbehave when there's no structure or hierarchy. Train it to bite your sister on command
>>767959996
I’ve tried to train it trust me. Every time I scold it for pissing in the house, my mom calls the cops to report animal abuse. Happened three times now
>>767958777
Is nobody going to check these trips?
I got you nigga
>>767959996
Honestly thinking of strapping tannerite to it and turning it to a fine, red mist. We’ve got other dogs, and they’re all fucking rad. It’s just this one. And I can’t give it to a shelter, cause mom and cunt sis are the types to search them all same day
>>767958317
Been in a similar situation, my feels go out to you
>>767960924
Fucking what?
>>767958777
>Checked
Coyotes will do just fine for a dachshund
>>767960924
Go on youtube or google, and actually look up how to train your animal. ACTUALLY FOLLOW the guides verbatim. Don't just beat the shit out of it whenever it shits in your cereal OP. It's a dog, it probably won't form a connection between shitting indoors and getting an ass kicking unless the facts are right in front of it's face, or it's recent.
>>767958317
Get some dog mace/ pepper spray and spray it next time it attacks.
If it is halfway smart, it will condition it fast to not bother you all.
https://www.amazon.com/Spray-Maximum-Strength-Protector-Deterrent-All-Natural-Effective/dp/B0711RRTRV
>>767961360
Do you really want to be spraying shit like that indoors though?
>>767961360
That’s what the good old fashioned white trash domestic violence is for
>>767959058
Actually pretty good idea, say it wanted to shit near forest and dragged you/ was annoying as fuck until you let it, and a coyote fucking shredded it. Make small cuts like scratches on your arms and tear the leash to make it more believable.
>>767961481
Of course
>>767961535
retarded idea
>>767961193
Not lying. They’ve shown up, dealt with my chimping mother, and talked to me three times now. I’ve explained to them, and they told her to quit calling for bullshit. Last time they came, we just smoked and talked about guns on my porch
>>767958317
if you have a car buy antifreeze and chage it, leave the old antifreeze in an open containter on the floor and leave it there, dogs like the taste of the antifreeze, the fucker will be dead in a day
>>767961481
Dog/animal pepper spray is half the normal strength of human sprays. It’s mild enough you can use it as a hot sauce for your burritos.
You can also make your own spray - 1 cup water to 1tb vinegar and whenever it gets out of line, spray the little bastard.