We are all human inside
Come in /b/ what’s troubling you.
Feels thread, talk about your problems.
>(OP here)
I’ll get us started
For me I’m bipolar, haven’t told those closest to me, too difficult.
My mind is riddled with suicidal thoughts.
I have an unhealthy view of women, and being in this board isn't helping. I hate that I get so turned on when I objectify women, because deep down, I know that's not who I am as a person. I just want to get rid of this unhealthy way of thinking and treat everyone like actual humans and just stop hating myself over it
>>767953800
You could try to contain that fantasy into a sexual manner.
Try to treat them equally to you etc and when it comes to the bedroom if she’s a good fiancé she’ll accept your kinks.
Though keep it suttle and say you like to be really dominant or something
>>767954064
this.
>>767953800
A dominance kink is probably all it is anon. i have the same thing but coupled with very lo empathy it doesn't bother me tbqh
my bf likes to cd and hookup with as many people as be csnand i was his cover for our whole relationship
i only found out recently, our whole relationship was built on lies
its making me want to either die or transition into male in hopes that he'll like me for me
My dad has cancer and I can't fucking deal with it
I'm going to ruin her if we get together more seriously. As a person. I can't even tell if she's interested in something more serious. It doesn't matter either way though. She's too good for me, and shows me that every day we spend together.
i hate being a cuck
I want a short haired alt girl and her bf to use my face as their footstool while they fuck. Ideally I'd like them to be like, 18 or 19. I'm 24 so that's not really a problem.
It's just a weird fantasy that turns me on waaaay too much.
What's worse is I've got a GF and I love her, and I'm in no way interested in cucking apart from that one thing - and I don't want my GF to do it either, because we love each other too much.
>>767953469
I HATE FUCKING SAVING MONEY IN THIS PAIN UGLY WAY I HATE GOING TO THE AIR PORT I GET UNPRIDICEBLIETY I FUCKEN HATE THE UGLY PEOPLE LOSERS READING ME AND TRY TO MESS THINGS UP UGLY WAY AND TRY TO STOP ME UGLOY WAY AND MAKE ME SPEND MY MONEY AND MAKE ME EAT UGLY WAY AND I HATE FUCKEN BEING POOR AND BEING SCARED ILL GO BROKE AND STARVE OR HAVE NO HOME AND NOT BE SECURE I HATE THE UGLY PEOPLE LOSERS FULL OF SHIT AND TRY TO STOP ME UGLY WAY AND TRY TO BE BETTER THEN ME UGLY WAY AND I HATE I CANT FIND AND GET THE THING I HATE THAT I DONT NO THE THING AND I CANT DO THE THING UGLY WAY I HATE KNOING WHAT NOT KNOW WHAT DYING FEELING LIKE AND I HATE TO THE THING AND I HATE NOT KNOWING THE THING AND I HATE NOT KNOWING THE THING AND I HATE KNOWING THE THING AND I HATE NOT KNOWING THE THING AND I HATE NOT KNOWING THE THING AND I HATE NOT KNOWING THE THE THING AND DONT KNOW THE THING ANDAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AND I DONT KNOW THE THING AND DONT KNOW THE THING AND EVERYTHING
I don't feel much of anything anymore, I'm in a relationship but I'm only doing it to make her happy
>>767955152
We have a winner
I have a gf and I'm just waiting for her to leave for a different job because I've fallen out of love with her. Trying to make her happy in the meantime, but I think we both know our time is short.
>>767953469
I have failed at literally everything i have ever done. I for some reason nothing ever goes right in my life. Its not like I'm homeless or dying or anything, in fact my life is probably pretty good compared to some of you, it just sucks ass to constantly let down everyone around you.
Everyone tells me to keep trying things get better, but 25 years into this shit things have not gotten any better and I don't see any amazing success story on the horizon.
>>767955152
lol just b urself
rare instance when /b/ shows feels
>>767954660
I’ve lost a friend to cancer. It’s hard to see them in that state I know.
He’s strong your grandpa. He’ll survive.
Even if he doesn’t remember to celebrate his life and how great he is.
All humans in the base are souls. Whenever you’re walking he’ll be walking next to you.
Though he’ll hopefully survive anon, don’t lose hope; hope will keep him going.
>>767955209
Damn dude, talk to her, I’m sure there’s just something that isn’t fully connecting. Maybe you two can sort it out
>>767955503
If you’ve gotten nowhere in 25 years listening to what everyone says then stop.
Start listening to what you want. You are the only one who will ever be in your body and live your life so look after your body and do what YOU want with your life.
>>767953469
If you can name the horrors of the western world, I've probably seen it, experienced it.
I'm like a thousand pieces of glass now, all scattered on the tarmac.
I learnt to live with it, to become numb to it. Learnt to be tough. Like rain on a tin roof, you hear it but it slips off.
But it pricks like a row of needles being dragged across my skin every time a boy touches me now. The scent of alcohol turns my stomach to a coal pit burning with fury i cant contain. The iron smell of blood brings up too many painstaking memories at once.
I force myself everyday to try harder, to look for hope. But I don't know how many more years of optimism I got in me before that serene thought of pulling the trigger lulls me inn.
>>767953469
Never been in a true relationship. Just got done with my first year of college and did not get into a relationship. Not because I did not try but because 1) they didnt like me or 2) they are focusing on their school. Both are valid its also the fact that other people say I will be a good boyfriend and say that they could see me dating someone else and the other person says they could never see it, which destroys my self esteem. I am starting to believe that I am not a person who has the ability to atract others and will remain single. Sounds melancholic and really dumb because I am so young but the same things keep happening again and again and it seems like it will continue to keep happening.
>>767953469
Pick a category /b/
>1. you can't cope with trauma
>2. you deny accountability / responsibility
>3. you have a behavioral health disorder
>>767958175
I feel the same way, the closest I got to a relationship was with a guy
He identified as a girl and was feminine, but it was a first time for me
Never felt the same way or got intimate the way I was with him with another person
>>767957836
You know what they say... one bad apple ruins the batch
When a farmer has to throw out the batch what do they do? They find a new one.
You mentioned you were tough but the trigger is pulling you in. Resorting to the trigger is an easy way out.
I know you’re tough, prove it by doing the hardest thing and speaking to someone, seek therapy. Life will only go uphill from there.
My father beat me up, when i finally finished my 12th year of school he spit in my face and left and told me i was disgrace. Havnt seen him in five years, i miss him even though he was evil. He didnt even show up when i was in the hospital for a serious suicide attempt. I got no one and even my mom has given up on me.
I dont even feel pain anymore /b/rothers
I am a truly fucked up person, but on the outside I seem like a very normal guy. On the inside there is crippling depression, anxiety, loneliness, pedophilia, suicidal, hate, misery ... I hate who I have become. I wasn't like this as a kid. I used to be happy, but that is like 17 years ago. I want to like people, be nice to them, but I just fucking hate everybody. I hate myself for all the growing up and experiences i never had.
I'm a pretty normal guy. I have a girlfriend, I have a job, I pay my bills, and I'm currently going to school for math/physics.
I'm a kind person by nature. I like to talk to people and hear there stories. I treat everyone like a close friend, and understand that people have their own lives and never take offense to the things they do. I sit and talk with the homeless and buy them food sometimes. I try to help my friends with all of their problems, despite having difficulty dealing with my own, and all around I'm one of the pillars of my friend group - people come to me when they need to vent and seek advice.
I try to take responsibility for my actions, and I never let it show that I'm struggling. All so that I can continue to invigorate the people I come across. I've been told I'm very calming to be around. I make mistakes, obviously, and I try to work on my flaws to not repeat them in the future.
That said, I have felt a slowly compounding, heavy weight on my chest as the realization that the nicest thing anyone else has done for me in the last year is a stranger who gave me tissues on the subway. A few nights ago a friend invited me out for drinks after work, and I said sure despite not really feeling it. I get there and see a guy who used to be one of my closest friends (but shunned me after I got with my current girlfriend because he had a thing for her). There is an obvious elephant in the room, and I all I can focus on is our friendship and the thin thread that still keeps it together. I can't, for the first time in a while, control how I act and I act very frantic in everything I do. I left after just half an hour. I ended up punching several streetsigns and walls on the way to the train, and when I sat down on the crowded friday night train, I just couldn't stop crying. This is coming from someone who's cried 3 times in the last 13 years. (I'm 23) This is where a girl taps me on the knee and gives me tissues before her stop.
(1/2)
>>767959244
(2/2)
I felt good that someone would do that for me, but in the days sense, I can't shake the feeling that something has changed. I can't look at the world the same way right now. Whenever I try, I can only think that I'm caring too much in a world that doesn't give a shit about me. It's one thing when agencies and bureaucracies don't give a shit, but it's another when those you would call your close friends don't even bother to ever ask how you are feeling, despite me doing it for them whenever they seem like they need it.
Sorry for the long ass post. I just needed to get that off my chest.
>>767953469
Wrong board for this pussy shit. Stop trying to ruin the fun faggot.
>>767959308
since*
>>767958927
I hate saying this when I’m trying to speak to people about their issues but fuck I know how you feel.
On the outside you act normal to everyone but inside you’re planning a hundred ways to destroy them.
You should try getting close to someone/some people
That way you’ll start to unravel the chains around your door, slowly but surely.
>>767958927
i think you're me...
>>767959316
This thread is for getting shit off your chest
I have zero motivation to get out of my house due depression, short af on money and gained weight from being a lazy fuck, used to be a football player but every friend ditched me due me being depressed. Zero motivation to do anything at all, wish I could just die and end it all. Stopped uni cause money issues, just feel like shit overall. A good step would be motivation to even get off bed but idk what to do anymore. Just a rant.
>>767953469
I straight up can only nut by playing with my gf's doo doo
>>767959662
You should start small, like going into the garden for a while then increasing it to going on walks, longer walks, more frequent walks, jogs, jobs, socialisation etc you’ll hopefully maybe start feeling better
>>767960425
I was like that for 3 years. But then I tried straight up playing with my bf doo doo nut
>>767959662
Me in the same boat, except I never played any sports. I am forcing myself to the gym next week, I literally have to it is the only thing that I know will help. I want to do it more to get endorphins in my brain that to want to lose fat. Trying to practice mental hygiene. And weight lifting is good for that. If I do not go to the gym I know I will just kill myself.
>>767960472
Thank you anon, it's what I try but I feel always tired mentally/physically, idk if this is depression or not. I might seek help tho, I guess I'll see
I have mini man tits and it feels weird when I sit down. I need to go to the gym,
>>767955152
Yeah. Me too anon
>>767958926
>I dont even feel pain anymore /b/rothers
Then stop acting a faggot.
>>767953469
i feel like i never developed how to talk to anyone. I feel like i'm socially equivalent to a 1yr old
>>767953469
I met a girl a few months ago online and I met her once. We talk about everything and want to start dating, but we live like an hour from car and we can't live our current cities from at least one year. Also, I'm not a big fan of distance relationships (the one I had went bad).
Any advice?
Caught bilateral bronchial pneumonia after a major surgery. Nearly died because of it. The hallucinations I had terrorized me. Getting the sniffles or a cough now puts a fear into me that is nearly crippling. I turn pale whenever this happens.
>>767958175
develop the skills you want
>>767960594
Ya the sad part is that I still have some dumbbells from back when I wasn't a sad cunt. I hope it gets better for you too bro, I'll probably force myself as well and just try to get up
>>767960676
By the sounds of it you do most likely have depression. It’s good that you’re considering seeking help, you’re the only one who’ll ever live your life in your body so why not seek help
My anus is bleeding when i take shit , other from that everything's fine. Except that i'm alone and nobody loves me.
>>767953469
I just drank my own pee. Unintentionally. For the second time in my life.
>>767961157
I don't even feel sad tho
>>767960932
Some people I’ve known have held long distance relationships all the way into japan. If you too really love eachother and feel like you’ve hit it off then why not go for it?
Video calling etc and opening up when you two get really close will keep things flowing.
Plus you’ll get to see if you’d work, meet in the middle or something
Good luck anon~
>>767960973
Pneumonia is rough, but you survived.
That doesn’t mean you’re weak for catching it, it means you’re strong for surviving it, any cold or cough is just another weak enemy at the gates
>>767961157
You should see a doctor about that. And people do love you, you just need to love yourself
>>767961021
Fuck yeah, we gona make it. I saw my doctor and I got a script for wellbutrin hope it works soon, but exerciser is top tier for the brain.
>>767961544
happened to me for a month or two but it was bright red if its dark red then its more serious and you should go to hospital right away
Basically been in my room since I was 14 apart for school and now college, feel like I'm going insane and have basically stopped giving a fuck about anything, feel schizophrenic and absolutely no one knows. Have basic social skills that help me seem like a completely normal person in front of people but i can't help but feel completely opposite to everyone else.
>>767961544
Fuck I feel like I’m turning into a hippie with that “love yourself” stuff
It’s true tho
>>767961183
what was it like? did it taste salty? would you do it again?
My problem is a common one. Been with my girlfriend for 4 years only to have us fall apart. I just don't know where I should go from here. Self improvement is one of my goals but beyond that I don't find solice in being alone.
>>767961669
Basic social skills
| |
| |
| |
Channel
That
| |
| |
| |
\ /
Into speaking
To someone
Who doesn’t
Just want to
Help you but
Is trained to
>>767961901
Keep at it then, just because you’re out once doesn’t mean the game is over.
>>767962158
I feel like I wasted so much time and money. And investments. I could of used that time and money to make something of myself instead of boosting someone else up
>>767962013
Like getting a therapist?
>>767953469
Been dealing with the fallout from a chain of events that took place a year and a half ago that very nearly killed me.
Long story short
>ex cheated on me for months, I caught the bitch, kicked her out
>start semi-dating this artist chick (read: mostly just fucking her)
>almost get killed in a car accident (wasn't my fault)
>artist chick goes off the fucking rails shortly after
>end up in a major bout of alcoholism
>somewhat recover later
>date another girl for a while
>unchecked depression and alcoholism finally catching up to me, almost cheat on her and become the same monster that left me in this wreck
>she thinks I actually did, she bails
>it's been a series of ups and downs since then and I somehow keep resisting the urge to get shitfaced to forget about it for a while
>>767953469
Really fuckin worried about my last final.
I need that class to graduate and it's very iffy.
I almost wish I knew I failed it, that way I could just get over it, and sign up for classes next semester.
>>767962471
Long distance is a meme
I'm a very antisocial person, but last year I have met some great friends with whom I have spent the best months of my life, but all of us will go to different schools (which are apart hundreds of miles) next year and it terrifies me.
I can't accept the fact that I may not see them for a long time while at the same time I don't want to make any new friends.
To add insult to injury I'm probably depressed. I just don't know what to do now.
I feel like I'm going to die alone.
I wish everything would stay the same as it is now.
>>767962730
Why? Because you can't fuck the person?
>>767958387
3 leads to 2 which makes me be 1
>>767960908
This
>>767953469
people are assholes, not because they have this sick agenda, but because they're cowardly fucks
>>767962566
Exactly, consider. You’ve still got a shot at this, you just need to see it
>>767962865
that is exactly why you autistic fucking loser
>>767953469
i wrote 2 pages of my thesis in 1,5h. It might not be a good result, but if ill do that for a week, i should have a solid amount
im so proud of myself
>>767962471
The government loses a lot of money putting many kids through school and look ow many are dropouts, but they continue to put all this money in because there’s going to be that one student who invents something revolutionary.
>>767953469
Nothing anymore actually. I have just stopped being depressed and turned my life around. It's easy if you just start.
>>767953469
>tfw I lost my virginity last Friday and I feel empty as fuck
>tfw sex wasn't what I wanted
>tfw I'm a failure
>tfw I'm meant to an hero
>tfw I don't know whats is wrong with me
>>767962966
A shot at what?
>>767963057
but i love the girl's mind, not her vulva
I just don’t have emotions. Life is pretty good.
>>767962888
Nobody ever checks my trips.
;_;
>>767960777
not what he said
>>767962657
If you go into something with a positive attitude you’ll come out with a positive grade.
That’s not to say if you’ve gone into other things not positively you’ll fail, I knew this girl and she would always tell me how terribly she did and all that and every mark she got was amazing, it became a bit of a meme
Spend 10+ years hiding away from friends, family and mostly everyone on a personal pursuit to understanding humans--why they do what they do, etc etc. About a few years ago I got answer and now...now I realized I missed out on tons of things, I've shut out lots of my friends and family and I'm overall dissatisfied with life. Even going to the gym, dates, hiking, whatever doesn't stop this feeling of dissatisfaction. Ending it soon..can't stand this boredom any longer.
>>767962865
I mean that's the icing.
Long distance lacks the relationship building you get from seeing the person everyday. It makes it hard to work on relationship goals because just being able to see the person is the next "goal" if you get what I'm saying.
long distance kills intimacy
>>767963460
Why not just do everything that you know your avoiding? Seems like you need to grow a pair and quite being a faggot.
Sometimes my leg feels weird, and well... wrong. It bothers me so much and feels so wrong, but I don't want to go to a doctor because odds are they'll say I have a mental disorder or some sort of body dysphoria. Either that or they'll give me meds or something else that would fuck with me. I don't know what to do about it and I'm running out of options.
>>767962769
I remember I met this awesome dude who turned out to be my lifelong friend, anyway 8 years ago I had to move school and at this new school I made some good new friends and I had awesome times with them to but I always called my other old friend whenever I could. We would meet up all the time. Don’t let distance damage relationships
I was a casanova growing up
Now I'm watching all the girls that crushed on me get married
Makes me lonely anon
>>767962888
Checked ;)
Me ive been divorced for 10 years she cheated went back to school got a degree in information technology moved back to cali the only job i could get is walmart its been 6 years cant get a girl to stick around live at home because of child support just turnd 40 fuck my life.
>>767963344
after-goal depression and unrealistic expectations
>>767963372
^These people remind me there’s good people on /b/
>>767963057
This guy on the other hand
<
>>767963719
Thanks anon, it means a lot to me.
>>767963845
:')
>>767963670
Because in those 10 years I've grown to be a selfish, narcissistic, blunt asshole. Constantly judging people and taking things too literally like an autistic fucks. Thing is, I'm aware or at least think I'm aware of all of this however I don't want to change. Just gonna stick with the plan and off myself.
>>767963360
Like turning your life around.
All I’m trying to say is once you seek help you’ll wander why you didn’t do that sooner
~Good Luck anon
>>767963456
The final's already done, I'm just unsure about how well I did. All I can do now is wait for the grade. Think I'll just get loaded and play some video games.
Thanks for the positive vibes though!
>>767963684
>I don't know what to do about it and I'm running out of options.
sounds like you just dont want to take the remaining option.
>I don't want to go to a doctor because odds are they'll say I have a mental disorder
you do. you should see a professional in that area so they can help you deal with it.
Denial doesn't help anyone. If I have an infected wound, it's infected regardless of whether I go to a doctor about it - it's just much better for me if I do. Go see a psych, talk to them about it, get some help working through this.
>>767963372
Read this. Take the whole super mastermind over wimmins shtick with a grain of salt, but the parts toward the bottom about relationship building are pretty solid imo.
How far apart are you guys?
>>767963460
You really haven’t missed out on anything, it’s that mindset that’s stopping yourself from feeling complete.
You’ve got a whole life ahead of you and there’s a whole world to see, why would you end it?
DOES ANYONE KNOW A GOOD SONG I CAN LISTEN TO WHEN CLEAN MY ROOM ?
>>767963377
Okay maybe not so good but still okay
>I was 8 years old when my stepdad first touched my vagina
>it made him happy to touch me at night
>told me that he learned it from neckbeards on 4chan
>one day he insisted i let him put it penis inside my vagina
>he raped me and told me that 4chan made him do it
>fuck all you pc master race neckbeards and curse you all till the day you die
>>767964421
larp
>>767953469
I find that shitty drawing troubling for so many reasons I don't even care going into detail.
>>767958387
all of the above lul
>>767964335
I'm a liar, I'm a manipulator, and I'm constantly trying to impress others/shove my beliefs down their throats and I just can't stop doing it since I've spent this unhealthy amount of time by myself. I love myslf but at the same time I can't relate (much) to people because of it. I fucking played myself thinking I was gonna come out with people respecting me and this and this when I realized--nobody fucking cares. How ironic is that?
I guess knowing I’ll never truly connect with anyone.
>>767964336
https://youtu.be/YM2NQgIG-QM
>>767953469
iwi want to serve people and have people feel comfort and joy in their lives through connecting with others my problems have to do with me feeling a connection with someone then not understanding what to do about it, probably talk to them about it...
>>767964504
Yes I have noticed it’s flaws too, but nothing is perfect my dude
>>767964756
I tried past year and kinda became a catalyst for a "Folie à deux"
I'm a terrible being, aren't I?
>>767959244
Kinda know that feel /b/ro, only have one person in my life that really asks if im okay, usually say shit like “yeah things are getting better” when I know they’re not. Been a long time since i met that person.
>>767964825
You're a good person. I guess we all have our fucked up flaws, but no problem is permanent.
Been single for five year straight. Started after I dated one of the best girls I've ever had. She was my 10/10. We dated for a few years after meeting randomly out in public.
Now I'm just here wondering if I'll ever find a connection like that again and part of me doubts it... I don't mind being alone but at the same time I miss what I had and I miss dating. How do you pull yourself out of that hole?
>>767964756
message me
on discord vre83
i'm dank and my whole family is normies why must i be the chosen one
>>767965010
thank u
I used to be a male escort and loved all the attention and sex, not to mention the money,
then my parents had me locked up in a ward and I gained 100 lbs from psych meds
Now I'm fat and depressed
halp
>>767964953
Aren’t we all?
>>767965028
Since when /b/ became a dating website?
>>767965021
believe you can, i will too
>>767965198
Why were you locked up?
>>767953469
I have a super hard time forming relationships, from the simplest acquaintances all the way up. It's not that I lack empathy, I just don't know what to do with it and form bonds. And the times I do figure it out I end up hurting the people i finally managed to get close to by distancing myself for... Fuck knows what reason. It's just what I do. Fuck me
>>767964756
You say that, but how hard have you tried?
Have you ever considered that through your beliefs and actions you can become a different person, someone capable of connecting with others?
I know, I sound like a preachy asshole right now, but it's true. I went through a similar period in my teens and early 20s, until I made a decision: get busy living, or get busy dying. I couldn't do the latter without causing my family too much needless pain, so I had to stick with the former.
A lot of it is just taking care of yourself; get regular exercise, eat right, talk to people, even if you aren't "connecting" with them, get enough sun, and get enough sleep.
>>767965198
Run
>>767953469
I haven't gotten over a crush I've had since high school. She's a friend of mine, and I haven't spoken to her since she's moved away ten months ago. I know she's not into friends and she lives 200 miles away. I don't want to think about her anymore.
>>767965209
I don't know
I honestly do not.
Isn't that terrible?
>>767965222
hey they want connection i got connection
>>767965324
It truly is
>>767965222
Checked
Too many to name. Right now I guess the biggest thing is I've been getting the worst dose of reality and life and existential crisis lately, back to back, and I don't think I can handle it. But I've exhausrd all my resources and 'go to' people I would normally get advice from. Its an internal thing within myself I have to deal with and I just want to disappear all together and run away.....
>>767953469
I like to isolate myself and it hurts, I do not like to get in touch with other people.
Im scared I dont know what to do with my life and that my grades aint good enough as well as the fact my depression is getting worse but I can't get it treated as it will Make it difficult for me to get my > dreaming job
>>767964594
Honestly if you’re considering suicide really you need to talk to someone asap, I appreciate how difficult it is, trust me I can’t talk about my issues to anyone but if you really do value yourself then give yourself another chance.
Seeking help could set off a chain reaction and a few years down the road you’ll be so glad you never took your life. Don’t miss out on that one ;)
Life is fucking miserable and we live in it but the man who sat in the rain learned how to build an umbrella.
>>767965274
"excessive smoking of cigarettes"
>>767965469
The thing is, I kind of like this ending. I'm essentially creating it and it feel as though it's deserved given what I've done. Thanks for your concern though.
>>767965424
I go thru phases like this. People just suck.
I know once I graduate in a few weeks, I'll probably never see my best friend again.
Tbh, she's not really my best friend anymore, anyway. We've been growing distant for awhile now. For the most part it's been for the better, helping me get over my co-dependency problems. But I know deep down inside the thought of her not being part of my life hurts.
Another former friend/ex of mine just only finally started talking to me again. As much as I want to be her friend again, the thought of falling for her again keeps me away. I feel it already. I doubt I'll ever see her again either.
>>767965452
I'll be honest, grades don't matter unless you're in college. And no one is going to get their dream job unless you're going to wait 20 years down the line. The best you can do is get a job you're happy with, and work towards your dream job slowly.Also, study in 10 minute intervals three times a day and you should be alright
>>767965021
You miss dating and you’re wandering how to pull yourself out of that hole.
The man who was starving for food went out and hunted
>>767965198
The trick is breaking that inertia, just start doing things, there doesn't even need to be a plan; that'll come when you're on your feet and don't feel like a piece shit. Or at least not so much of a piece of shit.
>>767965526
Kek. My parents would smoke and I always smelled like it at school. I’d never touch one to my lips much less smoke one.
I have no friends and the few people I do talk to don't care about me. My family doesn't like me too much either. I have been planning on ending myself for a while now what do I do to be happy?
My circumcised wiener has no foreskin cheese to nibble on
I don’t know what it is. I’m really trying, but my depression doesn’t subside. I just feel lonely and bored all the time.
My anxiety just got worse after a recent breakup(recent being 5 months) and she’s still troubling me.
I just got back home from college — I dated her in high school. She’s back too, and o don’t have many friends back home.
I just miss her and I don’t want to be back home at all.
>>767965635
My dream job dosnt require good grades I want to be a truma cleaner and get paid 35-40 k (anual) for 4 hours work in 2 weeks
Just got my girlfriend pregnant but for some fucking reason i miss my ex of 5 years, i mean she turned hella hot after we broke up, i didnt pay much attention but recently i been having these dreams with her and cant stop thinkingb about her, she lives in france now so theres no way i can get to her, this is killing me.
I've literally been crippled by depression för two years now. Meds don't work. Therapy doesn't seem to work. I can't sleep but can't get out of bed. Nothing catches my interest. I have suicidal thoughts but I don't want to die. I've been stuck in a loop of substance abuse and self pity.
>>767965399
And checked
My soul aboard that ship steaming into eternity. I will know my fate when I arrive... if I ever do,
>>767965935
how does one get into that?
>>767965617
You’re not creating it though anon, that’s the thing.
The gun company is
The rope company is
The razor blade company is
If you really want a self created death living a full life natural causes is the only self created death.
I tried to take my own life but failed, now I can’t imagine what it’s like if I had.
The fact that some random anon on the internet in some room past midnight is trying to help you proved you have worth.
I just hope you don’t take the pussy way out ~Godspeed anon
>>767966080
deep
>>767966007
I'm so sorry brother. I'm sort of in that same loop--the worst thing being that nothing is satisfying--not like it used to be when I was younger, you know?
I really hope you find happiness man because I'm going to do what you're afraid of. I really, really do hope you find it...
>>767966169
What if I make my own knife?
>>767966080
I want to be there ......
I feel so disconnected from everyone, I don’t understand how people’s social interactions all work and tie together. The me I know, is so different than what everyone else knows. I’m pretty much trying to live my life like Gatsby, I’m a senior at a preppy highschool and I just want all the money in the world to impress everyone with. I’ve been to private schools my whole life and being constantly surrounded by richer people just isn’t healthy. I live almost a double life, the one that everyone sees which is a rather normal guy, and what I see, an insecure, socially awkward, depressed, money obsessed, and into some fucked up shit, that I have a hard time admitting to myself. Inside I’m so angry, I feel like I have no real friends, I’m not sure how people do it. I hide all the details of my personal life, to ensure no one ever finds out the truth.
>>767953469
I'm schizophrenic m
>>767966144
Lmao fucked if I know but im gonna try and get that Job in the next few years
>>767965754
Ending it = Never getting a chance to be happy
There’s no point in ending it really
If you never try to make things better for yourself it will never happen, these things aren’t served on a plate.
~Good Luck anon
>>767966297
Then dedicate your life to being a blacksmith
>>767966169
Are you really playing the semantic game? Fine. By your logic, the gun company for example--it hires humans, I'm human--therefore I'm creating it. Fuck sake.
Anyway, I've tried to take my life twice already and was too pussy to do it fully. First was hanging, second was razor, now I've got a shotgun with a 1oz slug round. First two I had to be sort of patient, with this all I have to do is blast my favorite song and then myself. Instant. it's over.
>>767965760
Mmmmm creamy cheddar
>>767962655
Basically, I can't seem to fully let go--not because I want the cheating bitch back (she was super toxic, I'm glad she's gone in the long run), but because of what was done to me...and how I almost turned around and did the same thing to someone else.
I'm in my sophomore year at college and summer is hitting me hard. I didn't think it would, but it is. I miss the friends I made and I can't see them since I don't have a vehicle. I broke out of my social shell, met some cool people, met a REALLY nice girl, things were going alright. I broke out of my anxiety shell, took risks, and they paid off.
The funny thing is that for the past 15 weeks, I've wanted nothing but the summer break. Now that it's here, I'd gladly go back to the stress of college life. Gladly.
I feel like I'm about to lose my fucking mind. I feel lonelier than I've ever been. I never thought I'd say that. I never needed social interaction until now. I miss everything about college.
>>767966254
The thing is I know that if I really apply myself to getting better i might. Its just hard to break the cycle. Dont give up anon. It can get better
>>767966423
>this
Yeah, shit gets really tough but it won't get better by giving up. I'm sure some form of happiness can be obtained if you apply yourself
>>767966566
I feel that anon. I just got back home and I miss it already.
Worst part is that my best bro is dropping out and I won’t probably see him for a while now. Shit sucks. I just hope we don’t drift apart.
>>767966482
Anon is a pussy and when he reaches the game over screen he clicks quit instead of continue
Prove us wrong
>>767965641
But how's a starving man eat if he isn't interested in the hunt?
You can't catch a rabbit if you have no will to catch a rabbit, dude.
>>767966361
I'm sorry you feel that way. Were all fucked up and all have weird things about us. At least you are aware of urs. Most ppl go through life not knowing. Well. As long as u have one good person/friend that you can turn to with everything that's all that matters really.....
Do I message my ex, /b/?
>>767966611
That's the thing I don't like about life. Call me a big baby, a pussy, whatever but I've had enough of life and its inconsistencies. I don't like the idea that something "can" get better because by that logic nothing can get better. It's a 50/50 or however you wanna split it. At least with this I can reflect in motel for a week about the sweet things in life and then when I'm out of cash just blow my head off.
Any knowledge on what a therapist is like? Will prolly decide if i see one or not depending on what people who have had one say its like.
>>767966909
Just eat dirt to alleviate the hunger pangs, then.
My life and entirety of existance is the slowest most debilatating torture percievable in every sense, the ones I got now or the ones I got later. Look, there it is. It referring to that. Im crushed. Body pertaination sensory input. Every outcome in my life has been planned. React. React. Before it came to me it came to thee. The Fearwagon. Got in, theres no seatbelt. English was designed for me to be aquanted with and became my end. It arranged to happen as it does.
I lost my mind so hard at one point that it became appearent that my future outcomes would be formulated to occur to bring out the most detrimental experience. It turns out that the fleshsack can be tuned to a crisp. Because theyres what ya know, and what you dont know. What you know is . I didnt know this but now I know it. I have a glimpse of whats in store for me, based on what I percieved. The mind and body are one. Any second now, itll happen. Im just waiting until I can do something else. I want to dissapear.
Whats the response? Am I that assigned to the camp? You hear about it? What happens there?
They, grabbed me by the heels and dragged me, back sliding in the dirt. To where I did not know, all I knew was they had the means to do so. I rubbed my arms on the ground in futility, the feutal place. Im fetile. A fetus over time, a life planned out. The worst of it I realize is that the pictures of my mind will manifest. I am the recieving end of a weapon, a weapon so advanced that all information possibly percievable is not able to prepare you for it.
Microscopes are fake, microscope conditioning
There was a time when i spoke my mind, nothingness.
Before it, after it. Recover.
>>767966845
Peer pressure, really? Yeah, this'll pump me RIGHT UP. It'll get rid of my depression, it'll somehow cure my inability to feel satisfied about life and fill me full of vigor. Fuck off and be happy on your own time.
>>767966909
Because if he doesn’t eat some bitch ass hawk will be the one eating his corpse, don’t become part of the cycle my dude
My fiancé and I of 12 years split.
I had an idea that we were on the edge. I spent my whole twenties with her and now I have to move halfway across the country because this city is too expensive.
>>767966927
Things won't get better on their own man. I know this from experience. The hard thing is finding the strength to work on your shit.
>>767966996
You saying I should fuck fatties???
>>767953469
Whats troubling me? how I will spend most of my life not only working but working for someone else. The most valuable lesson learned after my graduation 2 years ago? Time is the most valuable thing you have.
>>767966361
Believe me when I say that i have been there.
Honestly it is just a matter of studying what makes the people around you happy. And then you just have to do that while preserving your unique personality. As far as rich people go, forget them, the ones I know don't have much personality. Sometimes it can be hard to shake your image of yourself as a socially awkward outcast. But, as cheesy as it sounds, believe in yourself.
Everyone will find their people, you will too anon
I keep dreaming of rapeing and killing my friends
>>767967137
No fucking clue. Just find something to do to stay alive.
>>767966994
I've seen several therapists over the years. Its really hard to find one who sees past your bullshit and actually helps. You may have to try several different ones before it actually helps.
>>767967133
I agree that things won't get better on their own.
The thing is I DON'T WANT to work on this. I'm simply expressing myself.
Unless you can tell me how to cure boredom completely. You can't--you're just gonna tell me the typical answer everyone gives, "You have to find it." or "go look for it" nah, no thanks. If life isn't willing to work with me then I'm not going to go the extra mile to feel good about myself when I get that job or that small goal on the bucket list.
>>767967031
Beautiful.
Is therapy helpful? I feel like if I told them what goes on in my head they’d ruin my life with drugs
>>767967137
If you're a fatty yourself anon then go for someone in your league. Most fat people end up with other fat people for a reason.
Just act positive, confident, and not cringey or awkward, also make sure to practice good hygiene. The maybe you'll land yourself a not fat but not perfect 10/10 girl. And also actually get off the internet and go to real life meetups or something.
Humanity is stupid, everyone around me is a moron degenerate, nobody understands me, everything is pointless, i feel that people are only with me in pity.
Fuck this stupid plastic world. I just want out.
>>767953469
https://vocaroo.com/i/s09pUA9dTKAs
alka seltza
my problem isn't a common one, as a kid I was beaten by a group of teenagers nearly 6 years older than me, I now have a rib bulging from my abdomen which constantly keeps me in pain and have developed trust issues, making it difficult to make friendships.
>>767967256
We all have a few dark dreams, but at the end of the day, you're only the sum of the decisions you made.
>>767967278
Any tips on what to look for? Or just hope for the best?
>>767967582
Same
>>767967064
This is exactly the issue anon, you’re too unwilling and too critical.
If you see the loose bolt why not tighten it?
You’re imperfect we all are. So stop dwelling on the damaged road behind you and build a clean one ahead
>>767967391
The thing is, depression and apathy go hand in hand. I honestly believe that if you can work on your depression you will find interest again.
>>767967659
but if we relate why can't we change anything?
because nobody is smart enough and nobody understands us.
We should've lived among the dinosaurs, only to be fucking nuked by a meteor.
How about something a little less existential
>Be 27
>Never bothered to try a relationship
>Tried dating apps for years with no luck
>Hop back on tinder to get a quick fuck
>Go on date with average looking nerdy girl
>Ends up going well but she is shy
>Fast forward a few more dates and we get frisky in bed
>Stops me and says she is a virgin
>Hasn't done anything but kissed a guy
I don't know what to do. She wants to be in a relationship with me. I really wasn't looking for that at first but I am starting to realize that I am getting old and need to think about settling down soon. It is a lot more complicated than just that but if anyone has some words of wisdom, please let me know
https://youtu.be/ZbmQQ4RfzVE
:D
I love this website!
More bad stuff!
You can't stop me! :D
>>767967658
Mainly two things I guess. Finding a therapist who actually seems to care and who can see past your bullshit. Your have loads of defence mechanisms that can throw people off. Find someone who will call you out on that and who doesn't coddle you. You don't need sympathy you need help.
>>767967856
you are correct.
>>767967849
https://youtu.be/7-uhrHo9uv0
Just get high guys
>>767967665
I don't want to. I don't..HAVE to which is what I'm feeling satisfied about.
>>767967658
It does boil down to trial and error though, same as a lot of he meds currently on the market
>>767967567
depends on what's going on with you and where you're seeking treatment.
unless you're committed, taking the drugs is always your choice. And if you get a decent therapist they'll suggest things to help other than just drugs.
>>767966004
Holy shit she looks just like my ex.. my ex was part Arab.
>>767959244
Just remember about how many people know they can count on you to help them when they're at their lows. Just like how this random girl helped you when you are at your low, you make people feel better and happy. Reach out to them and they may surprise you with care.
>>767967766
Whose to say that won't happen now?
Problem with us is were empaths. We notice and feel EVERYTHING and that's why life and people suck so hard. And why we feel understood. We're real when everyone else is to scared to to. BC being real means being honest and vulnerable.... and not too many ppl can do that.
>>767967797
Add about 20 years to your current age and that might be old for men. If you were a woman you'd have a biological clock to work against.
For actual advice take baby steps and get her warmed up before trying anything
>>767959316
How kind...
>>767967994
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1vdYmmeA7Kx
>>767967748
I don't want you or I to "believe" anything. I want certainty and in this life you don't get certainty, you get what you're dealt. I'm tired of being let down by life and romanticizing the potential.
>then just don't do that
Okay. Perfect. Just DON'T think of the positive, good stuff in life to come.
In knowing there is no certainty, I feel this is the only way out...
>>767958387
A mix of 1 and 3. I got bullied a lot when I was younger, alongside having occasional auditory hallucinations, leading me to not know what was real or not. However, at this point I've simply accepted it, and channel it as fuel to create stories and such.
>>767967797
Are you two compatible? Don’t settle down for the sake of being old.
Either search until you’ve found the one.
Or if you two are really good together and you really love eachother, and you know you’d want to spend the rest of your life with her then go for it, have fun.
>>767959308
your whole post is basically boasting about having a gf. I am jealous
>>767964820
TOP KEK
>>767964820
made my day funny shit mane
>>767967849
More shit like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LULmbLlPvVk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD6_QXwKesU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5h0qHwNrHk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qDq9eGUmMI
>>767968111
Nice digits, and I guess you're right. Everything is still pointless though.
Death is basically the only escape from this fucking burden that is people and this world.
>OP is signing of and OP is a faggot
Good luck to all who have posted or are to post. I hope y’all can help each other out then after this we can all go back to being the autistic neo-nazis on /b/
>>767968177
I'm not telling you what to do or think. Your life is yours and what you do with it is completely up to you. However, i know people in their 40s who have gone through several depressive episodes and they all say the same:
It will get better.
That's what I choose to believe because the alternative is all too uncertain.
If I knew for a fact that the afterlife was peaceful and happy I might have picked it a long time ago. But the thought of not existing at all is worse than dealing with periods of misery
https://youtu.be/u5CVsCnxyXgP
>>767968555
Basically death. Or just not socializing all together
Can anyone post any good feels greentexts? Either pre made (e.g. Elisa Millicent Sinclair) or from your own life would be appreciated.
>>767968691
See
>>767968555
I love you
delve into Kid A if you haven't already. here's my chart. i get psyched when someone else likes my music.
>>767968847
I can't just not socialize. that'll fuck one's self up beyond belief.
>>767953469
some times i have fantasies about rape... It's really weird and disturbing. I'm not a violent person, but I have these rape fantasies about women i know. Exs, current flings, co-workers, anyone. It's upsetting to me and has gotten in the way of me trying to have healthy relationships with women. I am far to nervous to talk about it to anyone. Don't judge and be rude to me please. i just need to have to share it...
>>767953469
Well, I've been worried about college and what I'm going to do with my life. I'm 18 and I haven't accomplished any of the things I want to do.
I wanted to post my art online but I was too nervous about what people would think about it.
I wanted to write something but I was too nervous about what people would think about it.
I wanted to write a webcomic but I was again too nervous about what people would think about it.
And finally, I wanted to stream myself playing videogames but I was too nervous about what people would think about me.
On top of all those things, my grandfather died and since then my family has been falling apart.
My grandmother is always sad and I just want her to be happy, we found out my aunt's husband was a child molester and beat her but her christian marriage counseler and preacher both say she'll go to hell if she gets divorced from him or testifies against him in court, my other aunt(my mom's sister) got caught with weed and my grandfather was going to help her get through the withdrawl but he died before he could, and my mom's job has been stressing her out and shes been feeling bad about herself because shes been gaining weight and going through menopause.
>>767953469
I never socialize with anyone, but I’m still afraid of what people think of me. I always feel alone and I have no one to blame other than myself.
And the ugly people losers that smell like poop think of things and try to say things but try to bother other people that does what ugly people losers do on cartoons cause is ugly and judgmental and smell like poop and try to hurt people the easy way and the ugly people losers smell like poop and try to call people names cause the ugly people get angry but the ugly people losers get angry when other people do it until people catch ugly people losers do some real lame things and we have to get along with ugly people losers that smell like poop and they outnumber everybody and smell like poop and is ugly and is a little pussy and smell like shit and outnumber everybody and is usless but still want to be better then people that is better then then them
>>767968396
Here is the complicated part. I am kind of fucked in the head. I can't really feel emotions correctly.
Part of is saying that I just want to have sex because I really can't care about anyone but myself. Another part of me is saying that maybe I will want a relationship in the future and this could be the only time that I can get one
>>767954660
my dad died of brain cancer when i was 13. im 25 and still mourning. no first beer together, he wont meet my wife or hold his grandchild.
actually had a dream about him last night. i cried and told him i wished he were here so i could talk to him about the problems in my life. he told me that i didnt need his advice, to keep on going and push hard throughout. i'll find my way. so thats what im going to do.
>>767969002
Sometime not socializing is the best form of defense one can give to oneself
>>767969002
I didn't know I wasn't alone in this lift (pun intended)
*hugs tightly*
https://youtu.be/QBGaO89cBMI
>>767953469
I didn't trade more BTC into BCH when the ratio was 1:10.
>>767969168
That just about sums up my views on life.
In fact,
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it's a peach of cake.
>>767969183
This is a confusing situation but maybe just try it and see how it goes, maybe as you’ll get closer to her you’ll feel love again and what feeling you think you lack we’re just dormant
>>767969371
Frig off ricky!
Prima donna
=
Pre-Madonna
-this is a level of woke heretofore unrecognized.
>>767953469
I have no friends, hobbies, interests, or goals. :)
>>767953469
I honestly feel like dying, and knowing no one would ever notice I'm gone
>>767969308
So i'll just drive myself to have conversations with a fucking voice in my head.
that sounds about right.
>>767953469
i'm not human inside...
>>”...the choice was mine. To long for a time that would never come...”
https://youtu.be/9-zSyRQ5evE
https://youtu.be/yI2oS2hoL0k
>>767969640
You have empty lists which is kind of good, you can fill them with whatever you want and don’t have to worry about how much space you have left on the list
ok. 12th grade, 18. just yesterday, a couple of grils were doing dumb shit and talking about dumb shit. they get a piece of papyrus and write "would you date Anon for $500?" they show me the paper and rub in my face the fact that none of them would date me, even if paid. I felt like shit after that.
I think of shooting my self all the time, especially now! thinking of all the degenerate things ive done....
>>767969906
gets better after highschool, just stick it out /b/ro
>>767969651
They will bro, but only for a limited time because that's how life is. Life *happens* and then things move on. We're not the slightest bit interesting enough for people to remember and even if we were...the sun is going to implode and we're all going to be wiped out anyway.
>>767969666
Why not? People are too complex. I hate it. I hate myself for noticing everything. Lots of times I want to die but I don't. But the older I get, I keep asking myself why do I keep going on with this game called life. None of it matters in the end. Not really. Why keep playing the game when you've been delt with a shit hand and u already know the outcome of it?
Idk its all just really stressful.
>>767969146
I used to be the same way. It turns out it was always just me thinking people were judging me, when in reality they didn't. I discovered it was just me being paranoid.
I then started having good hygiene and actually talking to people and I ended up feeling happier.
I have no sympathy
I feel an urge to lie and trick people for my pleasure
I have hurt many close friends
But I can't quit the habit
>>767970112
I feel this 100%
This "life" that I've been given isn't as grand as its been romanticized to be. It IS hard no matter what ANYONE fucking says and I've been contemplating ending it for a few years now.
Every now and then I'd receive little bumps of happiness but life quickly takes it away and I have to work for it again. Sick of the climb, bro.. sick of it.
>>767970077
why would you do that? go into an anonymous board and lie like that?
what is wrong with you?
>>767970112
People aren't complex. they're predictable. I'm just so cynical that often i see even beyond what's the worst possible outcome.
none of it DOES matter. i just barely hang on.
Fuck existence.
I just have nobody there for me. nobody for me to be there for.
i'll just forever be different, an outlier.
something that shouldn't exist.
>>767970077
I hope you're right, /b/rother
>>767970411
does though, the sample size for social relations increases 100 fold. much easier to pick and choose relationships and find friends.
>>767960908
Are you me?
>>767970322
Yeah. This is all it is. Im slowly starting to learn that. Its just you, yourself,and I. That's it. And what do you do when you can't stand yourself to the point that u want to scrape your skin off, scream and wish for all the thoughts to stop just to get some peace of mind??
>>767970411
I feel like you're joking but I'm not quite sure...
>>767970478
What are you doing to deal with it then?
>>767970528
just dont let your experiences in high school make you a jaded person. that nerdy kid in school who was a loser and got picked on VERY often becomes even moderately successful and skanks end up pregnant in a trailer park.
never wanted to die but i always wondered this, do suicidal people want to take a painless way out?
Is it contradictory to want to die but also try to make it painless as possible?
>>767970712
I don't know. Offing myself is the best option I guess.
>>767970602
It's dark and all but I'm glad I have the option to indulge in my self pity and in the end decide what I want to do--continue or just fucking do it and be done with all of the bullshit.
My bestfriend of 6 years who saved my life, overdosed on fentanyl two years ago, i have honestly never been myself since that day.
>>767970802
Suicidal right here.
Not contradictory since preference IS an actual thing in this life. WHY would I want to make the way I leave this earth painful?
>cause you're gonna die anyway
Well, yeah but it doesn't mean I want to suffer and THEN die, I'd rather just DIE and get it over as quickly as possible.
Hanging or cutting, burning myself--I'm still ALIVE while doing all of this shit which is the opposite of my intention so a 1oz slug is the alternative.
I'm planning a crime on people with a lot of enemies and I'm not sure I'm equipped for the amount of heat they've got on them from law enforcement.
The only thing I can think of for low-risk revenge is to rig something to start a fire, slash some tires, or molotovs.
I could use some suggestions or advice.
>>767971120
Idea: don't get on action news
>>767971073
i know hanging makes you pass out fast but even if i wanted to die id be terrified of dangling by my neck even for a a few seconds. so even as a suicidal person you'd agree that would be painful?
Can't get employment no matter how hard I try. I've been turned down by the army, the navy, the airforce, the police, every security firm in my country and every desk jockey position. I can't even get farm work.
>>767970802
Painless or just very quick, like less than a second. I guess my idea is to just cease to exist. Death shouldn't always be associated with pain.
gf left me and I want to move on, but I still love her
I have an objectively excellent life but I always feel so much hate and negativity. My mood is up and down. Not bipolar, but manic depressive with a baseline mild depressive side.
I'm a successful scientist with a job in research that I enjoy. There is upward mobility, fun problems. I am married to a wonderful woman. I have a good relationship with my parents and siblings.
But despite these things, I cannot walk by a parking garage without wondering if a jump off the top would be enough to kill me. I'm terrified to pick up a gun (a buddy of mine is an avid gun hobbyist) because I know I'll shoot myself. I work excessively to avoid thinking about the absolute abject stupidity of everything. As long as I am distracted I am okay. But I feel uncomfortable any time my mind is left idle. Even in a comfortable, peaceful place, I feel uncomfortable just being.
I know it's a matter of time. I won't kill myself now, or even a year from now, but I know one day I'm just going to park my car at the top of a parking garage and jump off.
>>767971398
does it make sense then why somebody would choose to stay on the ground in hanging like pic related vs actually being in the air, that way seems very painful even if it is 10 seconds.
>>767971252
Yes, if done incorrectly it could be painful so herein lies the problem: Not only am I in pain but I'm STILL ALIVE.
I've done the razor and attempted the hanging--too much of a coward to go through with it completely. Still have the cut scars and simply won't entertain hanging--so a shotgun seems like the best idea. Read many articles and seen many pictures of the results and this seems like, given the proper aim and rounds, the fastest, most painless way to go.
I feel useless and alone all the time. I sometimes think of suicide and my life was near perfect except for the daily dose of my mom yelling at me for doing stuff wrong. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything. No motivation to do shit. Barely get up in the morning to go to school/college/work (pick one it feels the same). I feel like my closest friends hate me. Been thinking bout suicide a few times in the last 5 months.
There was a teacher. A very kind teacher. A spirited teacher. We'll call her Mrs. E. Everyone at the school knew her. Mrs. E had a kind word for everyone, even if you thought she didn't know you, she knew. She was constantly joking and smiling. When she was selected for the kiss a pig contest, she even puckered up with chapstick before kissing the little piglet. Everyone loved her.
She was especially close with my little sister. My sister, she always had problems. What were once nightmares turned into schizophrenia, depression, bipolar disorder, and more. She needed constant therapy, and still takes multiple pills daily. Very few people could get through to her.
Not Mrs. E though. She read my sister like a book. She saw this little girl that so many people had lost hope on, and she decided that she was important. She talked with her constantly, always a shoulder for her to lean on, and someone to vent to. Eventually she asked my sister to stop harming herself, and to stop trying to commit suicide. And would you believe it, my sister promised she wouldn't.
Three days later, Mrs. E's husband pushed her onto the bed and shot her in the back of the head. It's been a year today since her death. I only wish she could see the things we've all done since. My sister still hasn't hurt herself to this day.
It's a day of mourning, /b/
>>767953469
>"bugs bunny"!!? What's up doc!
>>767971629
rip mrs. E
Met this girl at school
Seems alway happy , cheerfully , positive , full of energy's
Gf at home , is always bitching , lazy and thinking negatively
Also girl at my school is cuter.
What do I do /b/
Talked to the girl from school on many occasions and we seems to be hitting it off together very well
My brain is on spin and I can't make up my mind.
TL;dr : met a new girl , thinking about dropping current gf.
I want to breakup with my mistress and have a normal family life again, but it's very hard to do so due to reasons.
>>767971250
Pretty solid advice. So no cocktails and no tires. Looks like accidental arson wins.
8 weeks left. Ready to be home.
>>767953800
That is who you are as a person.
It might be that willingness to disassociate yourself from your flaws that is allowing you to do this.
>>767971600
sorry bro you feel this way, I really am.
I wanna know though, what do you think comes after death? I figure itll be like when you drift off to sleep and dont dream. I still dont get how I am experiencing life though, I know that doesn't make sense but i find it weird that "i" can just exist after and eternity of not being.
>>767971591
might have been done with something extra around the neck which puts pressure on the throat arteries, which would just slowly make you loose consciousness/choke/black out
>just a not so educated guess tho
>>767971899
>school
Underage b&? Also if she means that little to you that you could just switch or even think about it means you should stay away from females and do some growing up before intwining your life with another.
>>767964502
Nah, that's a totally true story.
>>767953469
>go out drinking with coworker after work
>shes 10 years older but still solid 8/10
>we've done "stuff" in the past
>thats over a year ago
>she was my first and last time
>says she's no longer interested in casual sex
>meanwhile ive been an incel for the past year
>go home, half-drunk and empty handed once again
>trying to escape the loser life and make a difference
>realize it isnt my luck
>ever
Feels Pretty Bad Man
>>767967031
Qliphoth, was actually reading about this today.
>>767971899
Do what makes you happy dude. If the new girl makes you happy you should be with her. But ask her out before you break up with your current gf and if she accepts break up with her right after the new girl accepts. If the new girl doesn't accept then stay with ur current gf till you find a better one. It's better not to feel alone no matter what happens
>>767971629
I mourn with you.
Good people have the worst happen to them.
>>767971899
I've had a similar experience. Not sure if who I was with was actually right for me. I eventually made my decision after critically evaluating myself. That is of course, something only you can do. But you can start with asking yourself why is she "bitching, lazy and thinking negatively". Is it her personality? Is there anything you can do? And the hardest, is it because of something you are doing? Good luck.
>>767972031
I have a tinhat theory.
Under a magnifying glass we're all just energy; condensed energy which is just matter.
Once my body dies it'll just decompose and break down until eventually I'm so small I'm literally energy again. This same energy will attach itself to something else be it another human, a tree, ladybug, WHATEVER and essentially I'll be "alive" again. Of course I'll have no memory of my past life and just..yeah. Either that or it's just darkness forever but the thing is I won't be conscious of "forever". So, it's all good in the end.
If it's neither...? Then I had some good times in this life and it was a sweet ride. Glad I got to hear Maynard James Keenan sing.
>>767970816
If u think that's the best thing. I'm just afraid when all my tethers that are keeping me alive are gone. What then?
>>767971899
Absolutely peaceably break off your current relationship, unless she's pregnant.
Maybe you're more interested in attracting the women, and actually having the women? The hunt. If so, get single, and use a rubber.
>>767953469
word cloud from this thread
