What would you do if you were a giant spider?
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
What would you do if you were a giant spider?
Finger 8 women at a time then make them liquid and eat them alive
>>767880116
spider things i guess idk
have a giant web
>>767880116
Makes tons of web and sell for mad shekels
>>767880269
>make them liquid
>eat them alive
not sure you know what "alive" means
chill out in the rafters of the nearest giant stoners shed and make interesting shaped webs and shit
spiders are fucking awesome
>>767880116
Get captured by scientists and put into a cage.
Can't tell them that I have human rights, because spider.
I would go into the amazon forest submit other spiders to my will and then breed them to create the spider-race
Declare myself a God and fight Conan the barbarian.
>>767880116
Lay eggs in a girl’s abdomen and watch her burst open as my children eat her insides out. Probably drop her off in a public space for the world to see.
>>767880116
>>767881041
Spider gonna spid
>>767880116
If I was a giant spider and possessed sentience enough to learn and communicate, I'd try to communicate with the humans and become famous. If I was just a regular spider but huge, I'd just do what a spider do.
>>767880116
ensare goyim in my web of lies
>>767880116
I'd go to Burning Man and blend in with the hallucinations while eating performers I don't like.
Fuck all the hot bitch spiders with my big spider dick
>>767881501
this
>>767881665
beautiful
simply walk into morder
>>767881442
I communicated with a tiny jumping spider once.
>I express nonviolence
>spider appears to relax
>walks close to where I am laying
>I shift my legs further away
>it turns to me
>stares
>exposes fangs and makes a few biting motions
>cheeky cunt
>wanders around while I rip another cone
>eventually makes its way to the tent door
>I lower the bottom closer to its level with my foot
>it pauses for a while and then jumps onto the folded over canvas of the bottom of the doorway
>I slowly lift my foot, raising it back up
>it turns and stares at me for a solid minute
>eventually turns around and leaves the tent
>rip another cone
I wonder what it was thinking
Make an alliance with humanity
>>767881883
One does not.
>>767880116
i'd be so happy with myself. i love those great boys!!
>>767880116
I would finish Hitler's job
>>767881995
Nothing. Spiders are basically robots. What function they choose is based on their environment. food/not food, threat/non threat, mate/not mate, etc.
>>767880116
Beg not to be confined to a zoo that cant let me roam free and go adventuring
Fucking society wud lock me up in a cage and I'd do math tricks and beg them to let me be free
>>767880116
That's all I wud be able to do u fucking faggot
>>767881995
kekd hard typical aussie sick cunt sinking cones and interacting with arachnids
>>767883576
There's an easier way. Start a one spider drum and bass band in your cage, then tell them you want to go on tour and they get half the money as your managers.
>>767880116
At the moment, I'm so tired and shagged out the incessant amorous attentions of all my female acquaintances, friends & associates,
that I'd probably just spend most of my time crawling around on all eights,
..... instead crawling about on all fives.
>>767883992
damn that was a critical mass level cringe event congrats
>>767880116
Fuck giant spider bitches.