I never had a real friend, I'm always sort of a spare wheel. Every time I thought I made one, they always find other person that they prefer to spend their time with. I never could really trust anybody, despite my parents.
Does someone feel the same way?
Can you recommend me some books about human behavior and how to deal with other people?
>pic unrelated
Self-bump.
Youre just assuming you are the persons only other friend because their are usually your only friend. Get a real friends CIRCLE and dont get clingy like a dorky sperglord and you'll be ok but stop looking for books and research and start looking for experiences and action. seriously.
>>767859861
yup. the key is to be hyper aggresive. jk well thats what I do
In what context are you peoples friend?
What is the core line between you to cause anything more than casual hello/good bye?
>>767859861
Me too bro. Dale Carnegie; how to win friends and influence people
>>767859861
>Can you recommend me some books about human behavior and how to deal with other people
Don't waste your time best anon. At a certain point in life you're clumped together with people you don't like, you don't choose, you don't feel affinity for but still have to deal with them for years. So you start to measure your worth by how much you are liked or not and alter your behavior to be accepted.
Turns out, it's a moot and depressing endeavour that is very short term in the order of your life.
Once "your skill" becomes more important as "your network", you'll build a network around who you are, what you can do and your experiences that are align with who you are and what you seek out. Not the other way around: you don't "pretend to deal with people" and then make friends. You go into this world doing what you are good or desire or are passionate about and people will be recurrent, share passion and eventually some will stick around.
tl:dr; don't waste your time anon. find your passion and talent, throw yourself completely into this. Ignore all else. It'll come if you need it and desire. No need to reflect off others and question yourself.
Maybe you are just an ass to hang with.
>>767859861
Don't always try to correct your friend's opinions and beliefs.
Have something interesting you can talk about. Have interesting ideas. Ask interesting questions when appropriate.
Bring up past positive experiences. Usually they're an in-joke or saying.
Be able to laugh at your simple failures (you tried to do something cool but landed flat on your face). Don't shame others too hard for their light goofups, some ribbing is okay.
Any kind of game you play with friends, play in such a way to be able to get invited back. This includes not always winning (and I'm not talking just about intentionally losing). Play Fair.
>>767859861
Alright so it looks like you're looking not for a just a friend but for someone who is deeply loyal to you
just try to grow on your own self confidence
so you could be comfortable with people who aren't willing to be limited to just you good luck it's hard
Kinda given up on making friends tbh nobody really cares or wants to be my friend.
>>767859861
I've experienced pretty much the same thing, I feel like its because I don't have as much spare time as they do to attend things but I also think it's because im a boring person who unintentionally talks highly about myself because the decisions and tastes I have are driven by logic with little emotional involvement.
Tldr: I'm a robo-douche who's busy
>>767859861
you sound like a clinger, you have no right to be included in every aspect of another persons life.
chances are they get sick of it and just ditch you.
find more than one friend at once, they don't need to be introduced to each other and probably don't want too.
spend time with each of your friends, it doesn't have to be equal, and you can go weeks or months at a time without hanging out/doing something with. never invite yourself to anything.
back when i was in highschool i had this dipshit friend i felt sorry for, that fucker clung, said i was his best friend, told him i didn't consider him my best friend and so and so was my best friend. fucker couldn't get it through his head that i wasn't his best friend, but only firend.
don't cling, everyone needs space
>>767861807
OP here - I feel just like the green frog says.
>>767862036
OP here again - yeah, that's me as well. My working hours are unusual and I moved to another country.
>>767862560
OP stop being so boring in your own thread.
I'm going away to find another thread.
>>767860647
Simply friends, but I think I'm thinking a wrong way about it. As I said, I never had a real friend so I'm not sure how should it look like.
>>767859861
holy fuck I didn't think I'd see this picture back - made it with my ex gf like 5 years ago lol
>>767860771
Did this actually help you?
im 33yo and never had friend
when i go out drinking or whatever with people, is because im buying.
when i ask,they always busy and cant go because of this and that, when i offer to *help* with cash, than they come right away.
this year i gave up on trying, id rather admit im better off alone.
>>767863097
Apologies dude, I was inactive and had no idea the thread will actually get at least one response.
>>767859861
I can relate. I always make it weird and fucked up and then I'm too embarrassed to be around them again.
>>767863889
I'm afraid I'll end up same and I'm 22 at the moment.
>>767859861
Don't worry about it.
Just do the things you like doing, become good at them, work hard, study hard, excel.
Take up new hobbies, learn new skills, stick with them so you become proficient.
The trick to bonding with people, friend or girlfriend, is to share something about yourself, and them share with you.
Ask about them, an interesting question, put some thought into it. Listen and then share something about yourself.
Spend time with them, share experiences together.
Don't worry about competing with other people, just enjoy their company.
Somewhere down the road they may share something with you, a thought, a secret, an experience because they see you as different than their other friends for some reason.
I've had the same thoughts as you, and it bothered me a lot. Always being secondary character. Just choose to spend time with the people you like, invite them to things, accept invitations from them.
Don't go overboard or suck up to them.
>>767864086
So much of this, it appears we are not alone with that shit.
>>767864086
Don't overthink things, play them off.
Don't make a drama, just hang out with them next time.
People don't usually care about something that happened a week ago if it isn't serious.
>>767864153
Yeah man, the thing is that it always works only from my end. I'll act just like you said but they never ask about me. I recently borrowed my friend €40 for a hairdresser. She's been talking with me up to the day when she gave me the money back (I'm not going to sponsor anybody, but of course I'm not rough with it, I have a decent-paying job). She's partying with friends that fucked me over several times even tho she's conscious about it. I have a girlfirend so I don't feel any "friendzone" or some shit like that, it's just the way people are for me.
>>767864153
Also, sometimes you do become the most important thing in someone's life, and yet you don't feel that way about them.
You might not even realise it.
People are strange, just enjoy them for what they are.
>>767863889
Start a sport or hobby that you've wanted to do, thought about doing.
Some kind of social activity where there are other people involved.
Stick with it and become good at it.
By doing things you like and that other people also like, you'll stand a good chance go meet people who will become your friends.
33 isn't that old.
also, maybe it is the place.
Consider moving to a different kind of town/city which better suits your personality.
If you like mountains, move there, beach then there, small place, there, big city, move there.
Similarly minded people will be where you feel happier.
It might take a few tries.
>>767859861
>>767861807
>>767862036
>>767863889
>>767864086
Here's a hug for you all=)
/hug
I'd offer to be chat friends with you all, but there's always a bad apple or two that ruins things.
>>767861369
OP here.
Actually every porn pic on here is me so far.
I think you just discovered what I was trying to say the whole time. Forgot the word "loyal" - I just can't make people be as for me as I am for them. If that makes any sense?
>>767863717
how do people get their gf to do stuff like this? or do you just not tell them?
>>767859861
dont read books about making friends.
go outside and meet some people.
