this happened to me last night, lost boner, fail to launch, am I normal or a pussy
y-you stuck your tongue up someones butthole and was greeted by a turd? .. please confirm anon my sides need this info.
>>767858937
yes exactly the turtle head started peeking out while I tongued the starfish
>>767858937
she claimed it was an accident, I am not buying it I believe she had to give Mr. Hanky a bit of a push and she knew exactly what she was doing
>>767859111
>>767859315
ooooh fuck my sides..
>>767858765
greentext !!! come on
>>767858765
My buddy was banging his tiny asian bitch in the ass, when he was done he had a piece of corn on the end of his dick.
>>767859315
>>767859884
sorry not a creative writer but if someone else wants to pen my story I would enjoy that
>>767858765
lucky
>>767860527
I dig my tongue in deep to try to get to it but its never there
>>767858765
Happened to me too. First time I had gay sex I assumed an enema would be done. Who likes having sex with the smell of shit in the air?
Apparently some gay dudes are cool with it. I wasnt. I fucked him till he came then stopped. Told him next time we had sex he had better clean himself out first.
He did and it was amazing.
>>767859658
I straight up play with my bf nuts to doo doo
>>767858765
Post the greentext plz
>>767860222
And she said ‘are you gonna eat that?’. Oldest joke ever.
>>767860994
>not a creative writer, OK?
>>767860616
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME
>>767861252
It's literally just telling the fucking story. You don't have to make shit up. It's not being creative you downy piece of shit.
>>767859111
>>767859315
>>767860545
me 6to, have a hidden scat fetish and keep looking for ways for it to happen by "accident" but no luck
Why would you stick your tongue in someone's asshole?
Degenerate.
>>767861396
> I was licking her butthole, I poked my tongue in past the ring and met a turd right inside it even started to push past the ring but slipped back, lost boner, couldn't believe I just licked a piece of shit, total turn off, killed the mood, game over
>>767861726
how did it taste like ?
>>767861889
not much taste a little bitter was fairly hard so more mental than actually gobs of shit
>>767861493
It may be degenerate, but some people enjoy the smell and taste of human feces. Some people just like looking at pictures of them coming out of a person's tail.
>>767861493
its like licking a 9 volt battery to test it, you know you shouldn't but sooner or latter you do
Used to do anal with ex gf, and always initially cleaned my dick off with a paper towel. The mix of her ass bile and vaseline made it a dark yellow, and it was pretty gross. Also she had shit on the buttplug she used to prep sometimes.
>>767858765
Ok, you're not supposed to stick your tongue INTO the girls ass.
You're supposed to just lick the asshole itself, and/or spread it open a little and stick it in no farther than the tip or so.
If you shove your tongue in that far, you're asking for poop.
Protip: If you're going to lick more than the outside of her hole, finger her ass a bit first, so you can tell if you're going to run into some shit or not.
>>767859315
Why do you think this, op? As a storied veteran of butt licking, I can assure that unless she took pains to clean out, this was inevitable, especially if you were at it awhile.
>>767862306
Its gods fault for putting the fun zone so close to the sewer
>>767860691
Actually some gay dudes I know are so cool with it that they actively reek sometimes. It's pretty fucking gross, frankly.
>>767858765
congrats, now you know youre a closet homo.
>>767859315
So she tricked you into licking her shit?
Thats kinda hot.
>>767862513
>Ok, you're not supposed to stick your tongue INTO the girls ass. You're supposed to just lick the asshole itself, and/or spread it open a little and stick it in no farther than the tip or so.
sorry I must of missed that lesson back in health class
>>767862682
nah it's just a 'learn by experience' thing really.
>>767862651
sexy
>>767862513
Good protip, shit advice, I've tonguefucked 3 women''s shitters and each one preferred it deeper.
>>767862513
>finger the asshole first
no. that's literally pulling shit particles out onto the area you're licking.
why not just taste a little doo doo? whats the worst that can happen
>>767862513
doing it wrong
>>767862852
>concerned about presence of shit
>sticking tongue in someone's ass
I wish I had that image of Jackie Chan you use for when people are mind-numbingly retarded.
Are you having them bust out the wet wipes and polishing that hole up, bro? Are you handing out hand sanitizer enemas? The ass is dirty, man, there's gonna be microscopic particles there no matter what.
You seem like maybe you should just stay away from this activity. It doesn't seem like it's your bag.
this image in particular
>>767863167
Can we not, bro? Seriously. Please.
>>767863052
Infection
>>767863167
I have the strangest boner
>>767860691
Oh fuck what the fuck.
Who the fuck likes ass smell? Or honestly any body odor? Shit's nasty.
I mean a little bit of a pussy musk is okay but I don't want to go near someone's crotch unless they've showered within a few hours.
>>767862513
>If you shove your tongue in that far, you're asking for poop.
shouldn't be laughing as hard as I am
>>767863393
you mean you would fuck my wife? her ass smell fills the room
>>767863729
Tell your wife to chew her food more.
>>767859315
>>767862306
Well eating shit can literally kill you, so its pretty degenerate
>>767865428
as a long time shit eater, old age will kill me, I suppose if I was munching dookie from the settling tanks I might not fair well, but eating fresh bowel fruit from healthy folks presents NO THREAT at all
>>767863167
Hey I know her. AssyLena
She's on MFC and on site without mothers. Good broad
>>767864597
you must be a virgin, when you get a wife get back to me with how well that"tell your wife"thing works out for you
>>767858765
it's for your dick, not your tongue, you are always going to taste shit in a butt, that's why humans don't do it (Except Germans)
>>767862651
This.
>>767867102
germans are awesome, I want my butt serviced I am out to find a german
>>767863729
That’s fucking disgusting.
>>767858765
not pulling the poop out of the butthole with your teeth and swishing it around in your mouth like a stooge
>>767863729
>>767865702
>bowel fruit
Welp, that oughta' do it.
I've finally heard enough for one lifetime.
Time to go hang myself.
poop is so sexy and hot, I want my GF to shit in my mouth so bad, but afraid she will think I am sick and leave me if I tell her, so I unhook the flusher on our toilet and play with her poop after she leaves for work
I straight up play with my gf doo doo to nut.
Doo doo to nut
>>767858765
What do you faggots expect.
>>767858765
NIGGUH YOU TONGUE PUNCHED HER FART BOX. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EXPECT?! COTTON CANDY AND SNUGGLES?!
>>767858765
Are people oblivious to the fact that "eating ass" is a meme, like the tide pod challenge?
Why would you actually do this for real?
>>767858937
dude you literally typed out a stutter.
i now have less respect for you than the turd licker.
>>767858765
>he fell for the eating ass meme
enjoy your fecal parasites degenerate
first time some anon guy in a peep booth sucked my brown eye I went straight home and licked my GF ass cause I knew how awesome it felt, honestly it does more for the catcher than the pitcher, but it is the express train to orgasms for the catcher
>>767858765
>not slurpin on the log like corn on the cob
>>767869135
corn on my knob
>>767858765
hahaha
fucking damn op, i'm sorry for that experience man. I never had this problem, but damn that is one nasty bitch
best thread of the day
