Ask an unemployed biologist anything.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Ask an unemployed biologist anything.
>>767816466
how can i stop turning girls off like distal aminos
>>767816748
I have no idea what this sentence is supposed to mean.
bump
>>767816466
Would you suck a log of shit out of Andy Sixx's asshole?
>>767817890
Of course I would.
>>767817307
>3 posters in thread
you can't bump your own thread faggot
>>767818096
yes you can jive turkey
>>767816466
what if you eat microwaved fried rice that has been in a fridge for a day
>>767816466
One of the electricians I work with has a bachelor's in molecular cell biology and he's a smart dude. If you want any shot in that field you have to be born Asian.
>>767816466
Why are you unemployed?
>>767818096
Ops self bumps brought me here so stay hurt that your threads go to page 15
>>767816466
Where do you live?
>>767818272
Should be fine. Go for it.
>>767818356
The competition in the field is huge. And not just from Asians.
>>767818373
Unsuccessful PhD and postdoc. In consequence, considered overqualified for many jobs while considered underperforming for others.
>>767818471
Germany.
>>767816466
what is your master? and what kind of cool Jobs can you get being a biologist, I plan on studying it myself as it really interestes me. I dont really know any good Jobs though (also in Germany)
>>767818514
>Postdoc
>overqualified
At your level, you're not supposed to be "looking for jobs" You're you're supposed to create you're own field of science. Doing research. If you're "looking for jobs" and turning them down cause you feel they are beneath you, you are doing something wrong. Seriously.
>>767818740
My bachelor was in biochemistry. My master in biomedicine. PhD focused on genomic analysis of gut stem cells.
>>767818835
>You're you're supposed to create you're own field of science. Doing research.
For that, you need funding. And given my meagre publication records, I don't get any.
>If you're "looking for jobs" and turning them down cause you feel they are beneath you, you are doing something wrong. Seriously.
I didn't turn anything down. In fact, I applied for quite a few research assistant or TA positions.
>>767816466
What are biologists normally employed as?
>>767818839
thats actually pretty awesome, what a shame youre unemployed. What Kind of Job do you want?
>>767818997
I'm a molecular biologist / biochemist so I cannot speak for people with focus on zoology etc. Most people are employed in biotech and pharma (from actual lab work or project leading positions in e.g. R&D, to data analysis, to sales positions to consulting) or in academic research.
>>767819207
>What Kind of Job do you want?
Ideally, some group leader position in either basic research or R&D. But such positions are rare and very competitive. Data analysis positions would also be great.
bump
How hard is it to get a job in biology?
>>767820625
Hard to say. I might be an outlier. But in the STEM field, it might be the subject with the least perspectives.
>>767820682
Thank you. I'm planning on studying Marine Biology, and I wondered if I'd actually get a job.
>>767818936
>I didn't turn anything down. In fact, I applied for quite a few research assistant or TA positions
How are you not getting these jobs with a PhD? Are you unwilling to move? Or have you looked at research technician jobs? I found one within month of graduating with my MS in chem
>>767820788
DNR or other gov wildlife agencies prob take you or just look for research type positions in biology depts at universities
>>767821242
Thank you. I'll keep that in mind. Do you have to be a good person to get a job, or can you be a faggot?
>>767821060
>How are you not getting these jobs with a PhD?
Because I am much older than applicants with a Bachelor or Master degree and people assume that I will be gone as soon as I find something better.
>>767821389
I dono, I have seen job posting for wanting help counting salmon during their run, obviously season work, I'm sure they don't mind some faggotory but there are more permanent jobs to.
Do you know basics of human anatomy how different organs work? I have a question about a particular body part
>>767821474
Then you are not marketing your self right, a TA position from you angle could turn into a prof job.
>>767821691
Yes, I do. Shoot.
>>767821705
What? How?
>>767821849
Be willing to move where ever. Get another postdoc or RA or TA position, hold it for a couple years, network and build resume with teaching/research experience. Keep your ear to the ground to find a prof position. Make sure while interviewing for these positions you make your end game clear. "I want to TA because I want to become a prof..."
>>767821849
Ok, so basically all was well untill something happened.
I have a hot gf, we fuck regularly, so all fine. But a week or so ago I stayed home for a few days, so I didn't shower for 2-3 days. And when I showered, I also cleaned my dick. But right after that my dick didn't get completely hard, only like 6 hours later. And 2 days later also, I showered, and when trying to fuck it did get erect, but while we put on the condom it wasn't hard enough to fuck.
I think it might have something to do with washing it? Because it didn't work as it had to some time after showering, then I couldn't fuck. But in the evening or the next day when jacking off it worked. Because that I showered, but didn't clean my dick today.
She will come over today or tomorrow...
If it still doesn't work, should I see a doctor? (The trouble started on Monday)
>>767816466
>He was behind of it...
>>767821589
Thanks again.
>>767822219
I cannot possible imagine that it could have something to do with washing your dick. Erectile dysfunction? Performance anxiety? Lack of attraction?
>>767818936
Start cross dressing and interview in a wheelchair.
You'll be a shoe in as a diversity double whammy hire!
>>767823217
Out of these it probably would be the first one, maybe second.
Then doctor it is, if it doesn't work tomorrow
>>767823126
>However, people generally advise you to leave academia when the chances for a faculty / PI / group leader position become slim.
In my experiences its just that there are not many prof positions which makes it competitive. For you though, you could be applying to biology, biochem and chem depts for jobs. You have like 3x the amount fo depts to apply to than most people.
>As a general rule of thumb, you need to have been to a good lab at a good university
it helps but doesnt make it a sure thing
>have at least first author paper in a good journal (Cell, Science, Nature). You cannot get that as a TA.
yes you need to publish, so a postdoc position would be best and from that position you can TA. But it might be easier to get into a dept as a TA then get to know some profs and work your way into their labs.
Do you think the universe is evil? Or good? Or neutral?
>>767824033
why would the universe have human attributes
>>767816466
What's your dad like
>>767816466
Funniest part on the body apart from my penis
What happens, if we use protein powder for weight lifting mixed with water or milk for the staving ppl in Africa? Let`s put money and logistics aside, would it benefit them?
>>767824232
the funny bone
>>767824232
Uvula, just look at that dangly bastard
Are you an asshole and therefore intolerable as a colleague?
Maybe you applied your interest in research to the wrong field...find a different professional focus that leverages your skills used in academia.
I know a guy who was over his head in a top tier PhD program in theoretical chemistry who dropped out w a terminal masters then fell into a long, successful career as a programmer for a major international company
Sucking in academia (esp in Europe) is not such a bad thing TBH
>>767823787
>For you though, you could be applying to biology, biochem and chem depts for jobs. You have like 3x the amount fo depts to apply to than most people.
As has any other biochemist or molecular biologist.
>>767823787
>yes you need to publish
Everyone publishes. I have four first author papers and half a dozen contributions. But most in like IF 8 journals. This is absolutely average performance and will not get even close to a grant or group leader position.
>>767824744
>Maybe you applied your interest in research to the wrong field...find a different professional focus that leverages your skills used in academia.
I certainly did. Biology and biomedical science is oversaturated.
>Sucking in academia (esp in Europe) is not such a bad thing TBH
Depends why you are sucking.
>>767824812
>>767824812
>As has any other biochemist or molecular biologist.
but evolutionary biologists, marine biologists, organic chemists, inorganic chemists, physical chemists, etc can not. Yes other people will be applying for the same job, that is the same for any job in any field. The point was you have more options
>Everyone publishes. I have four first author papers and half a dozen contributions. But most in like IF 8 journals. This is absolutely average performance and will not get even close to a grant or group leader position.
With that attitude, yes. Of course you wont get to work at a top tier university, especially if you currently are not working/publishing in your field. 10 Pubs, 4 of which first author is not bad. Having a hand full of first author in ok journals is the same a having a couple in good journals. During any interviews as a postdoc make it clear what your goals/needs are. And pay attention to who the PI's you are applying to are funded by and where they like to publish
How to distinguish between a fruit and vegetable?
>>767824900
There’s ~0% chance of staying in academia and switching to another field
Seriously, it’s not the saturated field, it’s you. There is always room for people w talent and solid endorsement from professors and colleagues.
Take a hint and apply your skills to another industry. They will buy your “saturated market” excuse for losing interest (failure).
>>767825262
>Of course you wont get to work at a top tier university
Please take a look at the people who get faculty positions in average universities. Most of them have big papers as well. I did my undergrad in a mid-ranked German universities and all of my professors published in Nature / Science / Cell during their postdocs. This is the baseline.
>>767825439
>Take a hint and apply your skills to another industry.
Can you give me a pointer what industry might need my skills?
>>767824104
Who's to say a non-human thing can't have human attributes?
I also don't think these are exclusively human attributes. Tacos can be good, or evil (bad) or in between (neutral). Good job looking like a dumbass, dumbass.
>>767825722
Every university's prof selection process is different and Im from the US but profs I have talked to while they were apart of faculty selection committees said they looked at how many, then where and that having a hand full of first author in ok journals is the same a having a couple in good journals. And thats only part of it, does your research fit in their dept, whats your teaching experiences like and do they have good letters of rec.
>>767818839
>>767818521
I work for a company that primarily does biology, but I am a GIS guy. I am swamped with work from biologists who want their field data spatially analyzed and mapped. It's not rocket science. I just know how to run some expensive software (ArcGIS). I usually end up in long meeting with them to get exactly what they want out of the data because... I'm not a biologist. We often joke about how nice it would be if I knew more biology, or they knew GIS.
esri offers an "at home" subscription version for $100/year precisely so folks can learn it. You may not use it for commercial purposes.
QGIS is an open-source clone. It's clumsier, but it's free and offered on Mac platforms too.
>>767825904
>Tacos can be good, or evil (bad) or in between (neutral)
no your opinion of a taco can be good, bad or neutral. The taco itself isnt malicious or righteous
>>767825784
know any mircobio and sterile culture work?
Could do brewing if so
>>767818356
>If you want any shot in that field you have to be born Asian
Is that why 95%+ of the discipline (and about that much of STEM in general) was created by whites huh? Retard.
>>767826154
The issue is the ability to get grants. You usually don't get a faculty position unless you come equipped with money or at least have a realistic potential to get money. And for that, stuff like teaching experience doesn't matter.
>>767826255
I have some experience with data analysis (primarily genomic / transcriptomic data), so getting into GIS would not be too hard I guess. However, this is a completely different part of biology so I have as much an idea of the biology side of things as you have.
>>767826797
>The issue is the ability to get grants. You usually don't get a faculty position unless you come equipped with money or at least have a realistic potential to get money. And for that, stuff like teaching experience doesn't matter.
Thats must be a difference from the US and Europe then, new profs I have heard about get start up money from the dept and yes you need to be able to get grants but no one expects you to have money before you walk in the door. And in the US there are grants for specifically new profs
bump
>>767816466
How's the grocery store? Did you make manager yet? If not, tell them you have a PhD. :D
>>767826289
There's some arrangement of stuff that makes the taco good in someone's opinion. So the taco is good.
>>767816466
Have you considered joining a military that is engaged in bioweapons research?
>>767829073
Nope. Germany.
>>767816466
whats the deal with edible pot? podcasts have told me that its different because its processed by the liver instead of the lungs which in turn is literally a different high. But why would the process of the lungs be different then filtering it through the liver?
What do you think of the fact that humans are less eusocially evolved than ants?
>>767818256
>>767818416
fucktards that don't know how this board works. ops can not bump their threads stupid fucks.
Currently studying for finals in zoology, can you explain what exactly a micro satellite is for me pls?
>>767830424
Microsatellites (which non-retarded people call short tandem repeats) are highly repetitive sequences (between 20 and 50x) of short (5-10 bp) motifs of non-conding DNA
Kacke, ich schreibe grad an meiner Masterarbeit in Biomedizin.. Klingt ja nach tollen Aussichten..
>>767831334
Was planst du danach?
>>767831646
Werd mich erstmal für Doktorstellen bewerben und schauen wie das läuft... bin offen für Tipps falls du welche hast
>>767831646
Wo hast du deinen Bachelor/Master gemacht?
