Sad, depressing, borderline psychotic, fire away my good friends
>Life is good
>lots of prospects, upcoming holidays, fun times
>life isn't good
>I am desperately unhappy
>living a lie
>would rather ditch everything and be a neet
>would rather never socialize again, staying in all day drinking tea and playing vidya
Does anyone remember when the happiness faded?
A few people I've spoke to agree with me and say they can almost pinpoint the moment the spark faded out of their life.
I can be happy again, just never as happy as I was, that flame is dead.
I never had it in the first place, I remember for a few months I felt happy after starting from scratch but I fucked up with a girl I'd met and that did it, I fell back into my loop of nothingness
Been a couple of years already
mine was a slow fade, i guess it started with my break-up but that was just the start to stamping it out. i feel the exact same though, happiness comes to me now and then, but that happiness i felt back then... i’ve never felt like i could reach that again
I know that feel. Great prospects for me right now but all I want is the comfy secure feeling of being alone in my own space without any responsibilities. Good luck bro, carve whatever spaces of freedom and joy you can out of life and remember nothing matters more than you allow it to
I used to think I was depressed. I actually went to therapy and took meds for it. Turns out I'm just lazy and devoid of any ambition. Also I'm an alcoholic that's been drinking mostly every night for the past 8 years.
How did you come to be in your current situation if you were like me, what happened?
Thanks man, I think my problem is that I'm just not emotionally invested in anything that I should be. The only thing that makes me happy is being alone and comfy in my livingroom, tucked up playing vidya or watching tv.
I shortened it a bit but:
>Be depressed since I was like 12
>when I finish middle school I move to a different city (I lived in Madrid) with my parents and start over
It's relevant (later on the story) that the house I grew up in is still my parent's, they didn't sell it or anything
>Be doing great because I'd been preparing for months to start over and do well
>Meet a girl the very day I move, she and I click instantly, spend days talking to her
>Months go by and she clearly likes me
>I am still very inexperienced with people so I don't make a move
>she ends up moving on
>I get hit hard by this, fall back into depression
>She starts falling for an older guy
>The guy's from Madrid
>He doesn't want to date her until she is 18 (at this point I was 16 and she was 15, he was 25)
>I end up actually asking her out and obviously being rejected
>We hang out with the same people so we see each other often
>Eventually kind of get over it (not really)
>Get close to her
>Become best friends
>as good as we were at the beginning
>but this time actually knowing each other properly
>Almost 2 years have gone by
>I'm 18, finishing high school
>HAve gotten through some very bad times thanks to her emotional support
>She's the best friend I've ever had
>only person who genuinely cares about me
>A month away from moving back to Madrid to go to uni there
>Be hanging out with my group
>she's obviously there
>talking about our futures
>we talk about how she's def going to date that older guy wheen she goes to university
>she talks about finding a place to stay at in Madrid
>hey anon, you have a big house there
>I would totally love to live with you when I move
That's it, tbh the first part of the story is longer and I've posted it a couple of times before but I never saved it and didn't feel like typing that much, but today's thing was unexpected and shook me a bit
See here's the fucking problem: I don't have any other friends, not like her. It felt like a punch when she said that because I know if there's a person in the world I'd do that for it's her, even if I didn't have feelings for her. I kinda owe her too, since she's basically kept me afloat for the last year or so.
It isn't even the worst way I've played myself, I have another that's more fun, let me write it up
>Earlier last year I'd started playing bass in a punk band
>have to look for a singer
>guitarist says his best friend (a girl) is a singer
>we agree she could do a try out and if we like her style she's in
>She can't do it that week
>A friend of mine knows another singer and asks me to give her a chance
>that other singer comes that week and gets in the group
>never meet the other girl
few months later
>ask my best friend (the girl I talked about in the other post) to introduce me to her friends so I can try my luck
>One of them is the cutest girl I've ever seen
>she's also the biggest nerd ever
>physics freak just like me
>casually ask if she's seeing anyone
>Yeah I've been dating the bassist from my band
>oh you're in a band? what do you play?
>That's cool, I'm in a band too, we lost our singer a couple of weeks ago
>Oh yeah I know your band, the guitarist is my best friend, wish I could join but I don't have time anymore
>mfw I realize she's dating a guy she only met because I got someone else on our band first
I wrote you an epic speech OP but then my pizza arrived and when I came back the box had disappeared.
So long story, short: keep working hard buddy. I know it's not fun but it does make you appreciate the time you have off.
Honestly I'd like to give you advice but I don't know how useful it can be, I've never been on your shoes.
Best thing I can say is that maybe you should try balancing it, you know, try getting yourself some alone hours a few days a week, but you probably have tried that already I guess
Femanon here !!!! Got diagnosed with BPD, OCD, social anxiety, and atypical major depression this year after years of confusion. Can't get a boyfriend because I don't know how to form healthy relationships because of past experiences with guys. Can't party or drink at college because of meds. Stays home and fps all night. Ex is transitioning. First year of college done and i only have my professors and parents in my phone contact list because I have no social skills after years of bullying. One year younger than everyone in my year because I skipped a grade. t's not going well lads
Ok either I'm not understanding you or you missed one detail
I asked her out, I told her how I felt, a year ago. She rejected me, she's deep in love with someone else, I gave up on having anything more than a friendship with her. I'll regret not asking her out sooner for a long time.
>Femanon here !!!!
this is irrelevant to your post, clear bait. Could you please fuck off and stop trying to derail a feels thread?
Hey I'm here lurking, m8, will wait and read it
I feel like when I post something on here it never gets read :p. Ah well here I go.
>Have 9/10 gf, 6/10 relationship for 3 years
>Am pretty happy.
>Breaks up with me because she found someone else
>Get new gf, 6/10 but 9,5/10 relationship
>Am really happy for 2 years with her
>Breaks up with me for an unknown reason
Actually now that I write it, it doesn't actually sound that different to others. I'm just so fucking depressed only because my relationships end. I take antidepressants, go to a psychologist, have good friends, have decent family, have good wealth, I exercise... But feel sooooo lonely still.
Almost tried to commit suicide 2 days ago on highway telling myself I should/want to be death.
go travel, backpacking, with or without the gf
some of the most content times in my life have been sitting on a train in a foreign country not knowing whats ahead and just staring out the window at all the new experiences
What was your suicide plan?
I mean I quite often been a passanger on the motorway and as we pass a truck, wondering if I should just get out the car but that's probably gonna hurt... Alot!
What was you planning?
finding purpose in others is not a reason to live
finding purpose within yourself is the real reason to live
spend a bit of time on yourself and figure out how you can better yourself
>Actually now that I write it, it doesn't actually sound that different to others
That's because we're all mostly fucked up in the same way, you know. I get how you're feeling, life is going good and you ought to be happy but something as seemingly immature as a girl breaking up with you has you wanting to die. You can only move forward, /b/ro, you have to fight through it because you never know if tomorrow when you wake up you'll feel different. The future may look bleak sometimes, but remember you don't know where life's going to take you, you really don't, so keep at it, man.
Remember always that you're the only reason you're here, you don't live for anyone else, you keep going because of you only, that's not selfish, that's self respect.
I don't think I can do that. I care too much, it would really hurt me to distance myself from her even a bit. First of all because she's the only emotional support I have and she's damn good at it, I've gotten through a ton of fucked up stuff because she dragged me away out of it. Second because I kind of feel our friendship as separate from the feelings I have, I don't know how to explain it. It's like she's my friend AND I love her, rather than she's my friend because I love her, if that makes any sense.
recently everything I care about has been deciding to pop out of existence i.e good food, relationship with my close friends, general happiness in life. Currently I’m living on a couch in the one bedroom apartment of a recently divorced biplolar lesbian who totaled my car while I slept in the backseat. all the food’s gone because she started beating the shit out the wife with a decent job in front of me lmao, she almost attacked me when I interfered and tried to kick me out yesterday because someone broke in to get their bag. I mean my life still sucked before but I was happy, one of my friends would even write me fat checks which I would buy gas, Taco Bell, and drugs for us with
It’s strange, I have the exact opposite feeling. After my girlfriend cheated on me and I broke up with her (my first love), All I can do that gives me any sense of relief is be around people. When I’m alone I dive extremely deep into my depression. It’s been months and it hasn’t gotten better. I fucking hate myself and the way my brains been working and I’m 21. I’m a good looking, funny, personable guy, this should be the time of my life but I’m clouded with this bullshit.
>It's like she's my friend AND I love her, rather than she's my friend because I love her, if that makes any sense.
Makes 0 sense...
Are you sure you don't love her because she's your AND friend?
I had no plan. I was just driving 130 km/h not looking at the road for 5 seconds. Drove off a little while thinking I wanted to be dead. (I was alone on the highway so no other drivers were in danger)
Thanks man, 1st time /b/ made me cry. Love you fgts sometimes <3.
I got a good one
>dating this chick since we were 18, but have always been good friends since we were 10 or so
>one day she comes to me after class to talk
>"Hey anon I go to this church now and if you want to keep our relationship going then you have to come to church"
>agree bc I don't do anything else on Sunday
>over the course of that year she started blowing off our dates and reservations
>confront her about it
>no yelling, just asking what the deal is
>she breaks down and accuses me of "attacking her religion"
>spent 3 more years with her because my dating game was weak by this point
>we would go months without talking
>think "fuck it" and finally break up with her
>she immediately started dating my "religious" cousin, who was not only retarded but also known for being extremely violent
>one of her friends told me she was having sex with him even though she told me she was "saving herself for marriage"
>she had been doing that for the last year
Ever since then I've had no drive and no real ambition, sorry about the long winded post anons but when I saw this I had to vent
wait what, either I'm getting too tired and can't understand or your post doesn't make much sense. But anyway I'll say that I'm certain we'd be just as close even if I didn't have feelings for her
Happy to help, /b/ro, we're here to help each other, after all.
Hello to everyone on this thread. Do you ever thought about some kind of social solution to depression?
Bipolar here, life is a constant whirl of psychosis, anxiety and elation. Only rational thinking keeps me afloat, that and hope.
I've slowly started to realized a thing, though: my depression appears only when I am not subjected to huge stress, concentration or survival drivers... I am starting to think that some people are inherently going to be 'left off' by a societal structure that is flawed or that basically works just for a certain 'range' of individuals.
Depression is an evolutive behavioural branch society doesn't account for
Ok I get it now, very funny, smartass
I guess the competitive base upon which western capitalist society is built kind of amplifies stress levels, causing higher levels of depression. But on the other hand I find it hard to believe that there could be a society that solves this, even if it was based on cooperation.
On the other hand some people just have chemical imbalances or whatever
But what if she gets someone else. And you're left on the side/alone. What will you do then?
I'm not trying to make you feel bad or something. I'm just hoping I can help you with the situation.
I’m 21, had sex one time when I was drunk and she was on top. It barely worked cause whiskey dick. I’m petrified of having sex because I don’t want to suck. This complex has made me blow easy oppurtunities (beyond easy) to fuck hot chicks and I don’t know how to break it. I literally obsess over this catch 22 and it’s killing me
Then I guess I'll have to move on, but why go through the pain of losing the bond I have with her "just in case" she gets someone else. I've worried about this, man, a lot of times, what if my friends find better friends? But I realised there's no point to it, I can't just cut ties because I'm too afraid to lose them
I thought you were making a joke on how I capitalised the word AND.
>Would you still feel the same if it wasn't you fucking her?
I'm confused, I'm not fucking her, I said before that I asked her out and she rejected me, then some time after that we became friends.
Look If it's a joke, it's the worst joke I've seen today
Going to go to sleep now, it's nearly 3am and I got to get up early tomorrow, good night /b/ros
If you hate your life, make it better.
>I don't have any friends.
Make new ones. Who do you know nearby? Who do you always see bu never have the courage to talk to? I am sure many other people could be in the same situation as you.
>I am not good at anything.
Learn something new. Try new things. Otherwise, you will never know if you have any hidden talents. Whatever it is, make sure you work hard at it.
>I am feeling depressed and/or I have mental disorders.
Make sure you are healthy and that you have a good medical plan. Watch something funny. Try to get hooked on dirty jokes. They always make me smile. :)
>Nobody loves me.
Make yourself more presentable. Work out some more. Make sure you are sweet and not awkward. But most importantly, keep looking, because there is someone out there waiting for you.
>It is too late.
It is never too late, as long as you are still breathing you should not stop yourself from anything.
>I can't do it.
YES YOU CAN! You either haven't tried or you don't know how yet. But these are solvable things.
>I give up on everything.
Don't give up. Dr Seuss was rejected by numerous publishing companies, but once he finally get signed to one, he became the author that he is today.
I want to finish by saying that I love every single one of you anons and that I wish you the best in life.