H-hey Anonymous! It's t-that time of the week again!
Welcome to cooking with Alice3D! 4chan's only OC based cooking instruction thread!
And let's face it, the only real OC on /b/ or /bant/.
S-so come, sit down, h-have a delicious home cooked meal, from my kitchen (and heart) t-to you <4
T-thank you very much!
I d-do different things every day dear <4
When it's w-warm out maybe!
Alright, let's go over todays meal plan.
P-pulled chicken! Like pulled pork, b-but healthier!
T-the outfit h-has to fit the MOOD d-dear.
now I see why it took you so long.
No one cares about you or your stupid show. Do something with your life instead of being an attention whore doing stuff that requires 0 talent, thus making your audience a bunch of desperate white knight losers.
- a butthurt autist
alice will you wear something like this again?
S-sorry, I'm not an attention whore <4
P-probably <4 S-should I set up a way for p-people to suggest outfits?
I l-look good in anything, darling~
is this some guerilla tactic to make all the incels and failures of 4chan better humans to avoid future columbines?
If so, that's genius and should be b-b-b-bumped.
Alright m-my loves, l-let us look at the ingredients list.
It's basically chicken, spices, hot sauce, and kaiser rolls. Not hard, should be very cheap.
It's oven b-baked, I don't own a BBQ.
T-then you should know high fat and high carb diets are b-basically equal for long term weight loss <4
*shrugs* T-that's subjective.
After all, I don't think I look good at all <4
I'm a g-girl dear <4
Hm hm hm. H-how should I do it? I do h-have a wish list, b-but it's not like I can't afford m-my own clothes....
L-love and cheer <4
I'll h-have to find it...all I h-have on hand is my patreon, and t-that doesn't really fit...
Thank you b-but I respectfully disagree <4
Silly Alice, you're beautiful!
Also if you're going to take outfit suggestions, when can we see this sexy outfit again?
this site is the best shit ever... whenever i wanna laugh i come here and read these comments from the most pathetic people on the planet. youre all fucking hysterical. please dont ever change.
I m-mostly spend them on groceries for anons.
Moving on, h-here is your first steps: Season the chicken, drown it in hot sauce, and let it sit for a bit
I'll l-look for it, I t-think I put it away....
That includes you d-darling <4
I'm a biological female.
W-what's up with your lack of stuttering!
H-here is all my contact infos:
Email: [email protected]
Steam: Aneki Margatroid or rukiarcx
Twitter, Twitch, Youtube, PSN, XBOX LIve, NintendoNetwork, KIK: celtyplays
and of course, my chat: https://anekiho.me/chat2
Alice what sort of wine would pair well with this dish?
sadly I can't spam your shitty "oc" today darling
that makes me sad
And h-here is the second set of instructions: boil the sauce till its good and d-done, then dunk the chicken! Easy!
nice nuts. I would suggest a riesling, personally.
G-given the very consent of "wine pairings" h-has been scientifically challenges, I'll g-go with "whatever gets you drunk fastest".
*blinks* And w-who are you again?
Oh is t-that what they were? I t-thought they were too small....but I suppose that's just how some males are.
I w-worked very hard on it <4
You h-have some odd tastes....
Why d-do you spell some words correctly and n-not others?
Thank y-you <4
not everyone can have hyper-sized balls, sadly. /d/ lied to me.
Alright h-here comes the best part of the show: The webm's in w-which you guys make fun of me f-for having nerve damage and t-therefore cutting things very awkwardly!
First up, garlic!
I d-don't pretend <4 I am a b-biological female.
So where is this dick pic?
I n-never said there was a shame in it <4
Just that I didn't realize.
I d-don't see it.
I just assumed these threads died, has been a while since I saw the last one.
Anything is better than the ig/fb wankfest, I get the occasional porn but its just ridiculous now.
I don't see any stuttering, anon. you may need some glasses.
I f-fucking called it!
L-love never dies <4
*hugs extra hard*
H-how interesting! So am I. I also am bi, s-so for sure, hook me up <4
ill be right back!
ill take the requests when i get back!
*blinks slowly* I've n-never seen such pictures. P-please show me.
R-right back atcha~
M-maybe one day <4
N-next up, cutting onions!
I've h-heard all sorts of ways t-to stop onions f-from making you cry, b-but doesn't each of us n-need a good cry now and again?
I sure did.
>has been a while since I saw the last one.
Same here. Seems like ages.
Good to see you back Alice.
>Thank you b-but I respectfully disagree <4
Well, it's ok to be wrong sometimes.
I w-was here last week you know <4
If y-you sub up on m-my patreon, you g-get a high def version of one of m-my old threads once a day!
T-those were both me.
I'll t-try that next time <4
I've b-been doing this for three years. Lurk moar.
I think it is you. I can't find them right now but you're in the same maid outfit thing.
Also you can really tell in this pic.
No t-thank you <4
On w-with the show!
Next s-step is to season the chicken!
Make s-sure to get it nice and evenly coated <4
lets all gangbang alice and make her our toy
J-just a dollar is enough, I think <4 I've g-got some hilarious stuff /b/tards have r-requested though.
It means I want to fuck her.
H-here, check here:
B-because /b/ is m-my home and I am Alice <4
H-hey, don't look so closely, I'll g-get embarrassed.
I t-think it's stupid as fuck to say "af" t-to mean "as fuck".
Oh t-trust me. I l-love the tan ones.
what stuttering, darling?
I d-don't mind. Just m-means it's my responsibility to help out <4
Next step, we gotta water down the onion; it'll be t-too strong without a bit mixed in <4
As a child, I ate a whole raw onion. I'm not sure why, but I do remember it was awful. Don't do that.
*blinks* Exactly w-where did you do digging? ED?
S-someone already posted a picture of m-my vulva basically exposed. Try lurking more <4
I d-do it at the same time every week <4
G-guess how much I care <4
L-luckily I'm a b-biological female <4
I'm asian d-dear <4
>4chan's only OC based cooking instruction thread!
yeah because abbreviating shit is so stupid...either way, it isn't nearly as stupid as taking the time to articulate a stutter.
Alright n-next step!
Add t-the BBQ sauce and vinegar t-to get it nice and tangy <4
Alice needs to serve a day in the box for being the badgirl of /b/
Don't use slurs, Anon. It isn't nice and makes people not value your opinions. If you keep reinforcing the violent rhetoric against trans people, I'm going to bite your nuts in half.
That's right, not off, because that wouldn't be biting your nuts, it would just be biting your scrotum, which would probably hurt a lot less. I imagine having your nuts bitten in half would be way worse.
>S-someone already posted a picture of m-my vulva basically exposed.
I sure hope you weren't in a sub-zero environment at the time. Let me tell you a story why.
D-didn't realize my cat suit w-was so tight.
T-they are literally in this thread. T-try harder.
S-sorry, I'm not <4
T-that's because I'm t-three seconds from t-turning into one <4
Germany, t-try again.
Don't have one.
N-now comes the hard p-part, for me at least.
Pull the chicken to pieces!
T-this took a lot of strength out of m-me, sadly.
It's r-right here, you retard
It's even on a f-fucking triple get. G-god newfags are awful.
good point, there's only one asian person in the world.
S-sorry, I'm not a trap <4
T-they don't, because I've always b-been a biological female, b-but okay.
Can you vocaroo this?
>I am smokin' on that gas, life should be on Cinemax
>Movie, bought my boo bigger tits and a bigger ass
>Who he’s? Not I, I smoke strong; that Popeye
>Louie V’s in my archives, black diamonds; apartheid
>Bread up and my top down, on the block with a block out
>Hit your ass with that bla-kow, dope enough to go in yo' nostrils
>I take your girl and kidnap her, feed her to my mattress
>A skeleton in my closet, it's probably one of these dead-ass rappers
>It's probably one of these pussy-ass niggas, don't try me, I'll pull that trigger
>Got your car note in my cup, and your rent in my Swisher
>That pussy so good I miss ya, head game's so vicious
>And all I get is cheese, like I’m takin' pictures
S-sorry, not an attention whore <4
Not my fault you can't scroll up.
Given I d-don't have a dick, apparently.
Already d-did so, scroll up.
Alright, n-next step is easy! Simmer!
Email m-me a recipe at [email protected] and I'll s-see what I can do <4
T-that's my secret.
I'm always tired.
S-sorry, I don't l-like attention <4
Try harder <4 You c-can't tuck a vulva.
P-pretty sure I n-never claimed that. Citation needed.
Next step! Add b-back the chicken s-so it gets nice and soaked~
Looks like I already pissed off one of your orbiters.
>what is sage
stay mad, kid
ITT: We have two sides. One's that like food and ones that can't read threads.
T-thanks for the bump!
H-have a good one!
this is when he faked having burned hands for attention
T-that's not me, that's Bloodchan. S-seems you are confused.
B-because I'm stick thin.
Did you ever actually have a stutter?
Follow up question if you did, how long did it take for you to fix it? I had a stutter when I was younger, took me around six years of therapy to fix.
Do you think the stuttering is cute? Not gonna lie, I think due to my past with I find stutters endearing. Sort of like when a foreigner is trying to speak english but it's incredibly broken and accented.
I've already p-posted evidence, you are j-just delusional at this point <4
Alright, n-next step is my favorite!
Add cheese! Yum!
S-sorry, you must have the wrong stream <4 I'm a b-biological female.
Around....5-6 years ago, w-when my good friend Dean helped me <4
OK, so I'm in the crimefighting lifestyle (yeah, not business, lifestyle, I don't associate with capitalists) and one time, a female superhero I was teaming up with made the poor decision of wearing a very scantily-clad costume when we were going to fight evildoers in the arctic.
To this day, I don't know why she thought it was a good idea. I knew I should have talked her out of it, but I didn't want to look like a male pig, telling a strong, independent woman what she can and can't wear.
Well, when we arrived in the arctic, the villains seemed to have anticipated her choice of attire, because they had brought super soakers. I'm not sure how the water stayed liquid in such a cold environment, perhaps they had patented some sort of sinister anti-freezing technology.
Anyway, one of them landed a sneak attack on us and used their soaking weaponry to fire a cheeky jet of water into her nearly-exposed asscrack. I took the initiative, grabbing her and diving behind a snow bank for cover. We got her out of the now-waterlogged g-string she had on. We thought we were on top of the situation again, but I had fallen right into their trap.
Their were several of them behind the snow bank, must have been at least a dozen. The leader, who had an evil mustache, pulled out a dial and snickered, which made the others laugh. He turned the dial up to full and their water guns glowed with a terrible energy.
We were too stunned to act, and they all used their weapons in a perfectly coordinated attack, delivering a massive water attack up her skirt and, you guessed it, into her vagina. The stream of water kept going for a good 20 seconds, and when it finally ended she dropped to the ground and let out a defeated, sultry moan.
Her vulva was freezing shut too quick for me to do anything about it. She was clearly in a lot of pain and was squirming a lot, which made some of the water shot into her ass earlier squirt out. This truly was her darkest hour.
Lies about being a chick are the least of it.
few of the cancerous fag's claims: genius level programmer, got into college at 17, lost friends in the Japan tsunami, being stabbed by mother
C-can't stop, won't s-stop <4
I've g-got a whole chat f-full of friends dear: https://anekiho.me/chat2
D-dear, that's...that's m-my green screen. I use t-those for Tea and Celty threads.
C-can do! Here we go! T-tell me how it is fams!
seeking attention as a female on /b/ is one thing
but lying about shit like that to boost ones ego
and this person deems themselves worthy of helping others?
and how fucking old is this person? they look like they are in their late 20s, early 30s, acting like this. maybe the tide pod generation isn't so bad afterall.
T-that's fair, but I p-post constantly; go look f-for it in the archive.
N-no thank you <4
Glad t-to hear it <4
Yes, m-much too bad <4
W-well, that was my thread darlings <4 I h-hope you had as good of a time as me!
>t. orbiter in shining armor
programmers are being replaced by AI anyway. hurr durr i can type code all day.
It's no different than learning a second language. In fact, it's easier. I taught myself a lot of that when I was like, what, 13?
G-glad to have you <4
I t-try my best!
Anyway, that was my thread <4 I'll b-be leaving soon t-to set up my anime stream, w-which you can join at 10PM EST at https://vaughnlive.tv/thehotbox (if you want, no pressure).
If you h-have anything at all to send me, f-feel free to do so through t-the following channels <4
Email: [email protected]
Steam: Aneki Margatroid or rukiarcx
Twitter, Twitch, Youtube, PSN, XBOX LIve, NintendoNetwork, KIK: celtyplays
and of course, my chat: https://anekiho.me/chat2
L-love you all <4
Stop replying to the retarded trolls who think they're smarter than everyone else because they think they didn't fall for the dick trap. Honestly dont care if its a dude or a chick I'm just here for recipes
nigger you can get more educational recipes off facebook. you know, the sped up videos that everyone's mother shares on a daily basis? you're just finding an excuse to orbit a flat chested attention whore. lol
/b/ does not exactly hum with original threads
At least she is doing something about it.
*blinks slowly* So, I have a little bit of context for this actually, given I work as a programmer in finance. We use a lot of deep learning and algorithmic analysis for our code, for sure, but most of our code can't possibly be replaced by an AI.
We use high level description and domain specific languages when we can, but most of the world is simply too complex to model with any sort of generic AI; there always needs to be someone STEERING it.
For example, we have a RNN (recurrent neural network) that I actually helped design and program (I have GPGPU experience, so I was tapped to make a GPU server farm and write code for it). The point of the RNN is to help predict market values and many other variables given past behavior, to allow us to stream real time like data to our clients for asset classes that cannot possibly be priced in real time (takes too long, not enough data, etc).
While phenomenally useful for its job (predicting things in the 5 second to 10 minute range), if you try to push it further, the forecasts get less and less useful, much like weather forecasts in the 5 day to 10 day range.
Some things are inherently chaotic, and require human level analysis to process. Certainly, many things in this range WILL be replaced by AI eventually but...I feel safe in my job for this life time.
I d-drank it all!
I'm not <4
S-sorry, /b/ is m-mostly white basement dwellers. G-gotta cater to your audience <4
>all the love
>my infinite heart
PLEASE DON'T GO NOOOOOO
M-made it because /b/tards asked f-for insane stuff <4 It's a j-joke, try harder
M-my pleasure <4
I d-don't have a penis, s-so try harder.
S-sorry, I'm female <4
S-still here dear.
Man I love cooking! I think this is so unique and helpful!
I'm more of an advice giver but if I had a kitchen to myself I probably would have liked to do something like this!
It m-makes me laugh every time <4
Oh h-hello. I t-try to help people in Therapy Tea and General Advice t-threads <4
S-sorry, not on hormones (and if I was, I have health insurance). Try again <4
N-no, I s-simply have a vagina <4 T-try again.
It's m-my honor.
T-they are hilarious, aren't they?
>implying this isnt my first alice thread
>implying I care just cause its a girl
If i want to see tits other hundred of pics you shouldn't share threads or /soc/ also theres /ck/ but they dont post webms for each step usually but sure man believe whatever gives meaning to your life as you keep lurking on this thread to reveal the truth and calling out attention whores, I'm sure you rather have the mlp and log threads instead
Well, it involves the same woman as the frosted vagina story.
We were developing sleak, form-fitting armor so we could be protected in battle and still move efficiently. Now, "form-fitting" isn't supposed to mean "literally skin tight" but a little something went wrong.
The outfit she was testing was an alloy contained in a tiny box with a button. When you press the button, the alloy expands and wraps itself around your body to fit. This version would adjust itself for different body types. There were, of course, areas where it is a little looser, and it fits around your face like a mask, because you don't want your mouth and eyes covered.
However, she was using a prototype. This one wasn't meant to be used at all because it was completely skin-tight with no loose bits, and would completely cover the face. To make matters worse, this was an outdated version of a prototype where each outfit was designed for a specific body type. This one was meant for a body type a good deal smaller than hers.
When she pressed the button the alloy engulfed her, squeezing around her entire body with what must have been a violating tightness. I got a good look at her genitals and they looked like they were chiseled out of stone. Obviously, she couldn't see or breath, and once again, she fell to the floor and groaned.
We had to cut the thing off of her to allow her to breath, since the prototype wasn't designed to easily come off. Maybe she does these things on purpose.
I w-wish I felt the same way <4
It is <4 A g-good captain goes d-down with her ship!
The cooking portion is.
I w-would be legally obligated t-to reveal myself <4
Luckily, no one is that stupid
*blinks* W-why do you think people only do t-things for a gain?
Well i just don't understand someone just doing something mindlessly or without reason.
I mean there's a reason for everything right?
I mean I know i help others because it just feels good to do
I've already g-given my answer. If you aren't s-satisfied, that's on you kiddo.
Your answer is kind of a non-answer that doesn't really answer the question. But like I said, it doesn't matter and I have no problem with how you choose to answer questions about your motives.
I've got several ideas of what it could be and that's enough for me.
*blinks* F-first you say "gain", then you s-say reason. Are all reasons gains?
As w-well, what is the "reason" behind a decision m-made while, for example, having a s-seizure? People do mindless things all t-the time; you don't zone out?
I do this to help people. That's all. I don't need to benefit to do something for someone else; they are a human being, they need help, I can help them, no one else is here to do it.
If someone was about to step into the street, in front of a car, you wouldn't reach out?
I'm just curious is all.
I'm hoping no one thought I meant it in a asshole-ish way.
Like I said I contribute to a lot of advice threads and help as many people as I can with their problems but I know I'm not just doing it "just because".
I do it because it makes me feel good. I enjoy the rewarding sense of helping others
I'm n-not, but okay <4
*shrugs* I d-doubt any of them are true.
I d-do it because they need help and I c-can help them.
you reply to me every thread saying you're not a dude but provide no proof. I was once a believer, I had faith you indeed did not have a feminine benis but the proof is there. you are a man my guy
It's been an honor, loves. See you next thread.
Or when I post Anonymously I guess.
I've p-posted proof; where is yours?
>If someone was about to step into the street, in front of a car, you wouldn't reach out?
Well yea but I wouldn't consider that a "mindless" action.
I'm doing it because I don't want someone to get hurt and im actively aware of that