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It's that time again, /b/.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 239
Thread images: 80
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It's that time again, /b/.
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>>767601247
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>>767601266
this loser clearly lived such a sheltered life if his body is that perfect
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>>767601247
bump while I make mine.
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>>767601247
I had to get surgery on my dick when I was 11. Only memorable thing tbh.
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>>767601353
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>>767601351
Haha, nice one! xD
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>>767601247
I'm a ghost
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>>767601623
This nigga got Dick surgery
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Unironically the best thread on /b/ right now
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>>767601623
lol surgery on ur dick
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Ask me questions
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>>767602051
What's the capital of Alaska?
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>>767602051
No. Shut up you overdramatic attention whore.
>Oooohhh look how damaged I am.
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>>767602181
Juneau or Juno or something like that
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>>767601801
>>767601979
I was like three or four and when I was being potty trained my piss went everywhere so they took me to the doctor and my piss hole was too big so they had to surgically make it smaller. Pissing felt like knives for weeeeeeks. Still remember being underneath anesthesia and hearing myself being rolled through the hospital but unable to wake up.
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>>767602197
Most of those are from sports lol. I'm not damaged just some interesting stories behind them. Sorry you're bootybothered nigger
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>>767601247
Ah, I remember this from summer six or seven years ago. I even have new shit.
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>>767602051
Hey look this fucking loser considers his cat scratching him animal scars.
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>>767602261
Sounds shitty anon. I had to get surgery on my benis and I had to walk around bottomless for 2-3 weeks because clothes made it hurt like hell.
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>>767602469
I'm hard just thinking about that.
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>>767602738
how does that make you hard?
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>>767601623
Yo, you seem like an emo faggot.
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>>767602449
Actually only the left arm was cat scratches. The right one was a raccoon when I was brining my trashcan into my garage
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>>767602782
Forced to walk around displaying your vulnerable, ensurgled member. Swinging exposed while every caress of cloth is like agony.
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I don't mind telling the dick story..
>>767601247
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>>767602469
That really sucks. You can't definitely relate then. It hurt some to wear underpants and shorts but I had to when had to start going back to preschool. The teachers were understanding tho. I still never list it when doctors or paperwork ask about surgeries I've had before, shits embarrassing yo
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>>767603118
Tell the dick story
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>>767603118
You already did.
In big text.
With an arrow.
I think you took the tell your story title a little too literally.
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>>767602807
Nah, just masochist
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>>767603118
>SHOW us your story
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>>767601247
why not
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>>767601351
you ever stop to think that this image was posted for people who wanted a clear template for their own version, nah me neither
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I straight up play with my gf doo doo to nut.
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>>767602890
It probably would've been more bearable if I was 5 instead of 11.

>>767603165
Mine was during the summer luckily. I had to get surgery because my foreskin was tight as fuck and boners made it hurt 100x more.
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>>767603323
I kinda meant an explanation.

>>767603378
Never got pics.

>>767603193
>Summer 2015
>I'm an idiot 16 year old
>My friend teaching me how to make smores
>She cuts a jumbo marshmellow in half to make it cook quickly
>I take the knife and try to joke around pretending that I cut myself in the dick
>I put it a little too close and jab a little too hard
>End up splicing my dick hole open
>FUCKTHATHURTS.jpg
>Have to get stitches because it wasn't deep enough or bloody enough or injury-making enough for surgery but I'm still in the hospital
>THISFEELSEVENWORSE.jpg
>Friend is laughing bcuz a day later I can't piss without groaning loudly in pain ANYWHERE
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>>767603720
Yeah that's lucky. I wish my parents thought to do that. Was it a circumcision or just like an alteration of some kind?
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Comin soon
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i dont have time to photoshop this shit
>childhood memories around the asshole region
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>>767604496
>photoshop
Are you serious?
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>>767602346
Hard to see in thumbnail, but at least vaguely realistic. Burn mark looks like a Q.
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>>767604605
yes? i dont want to edit some stupid image with colors showing my danger zones on some stupid stick figure drawing
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>>767601247
pretty boring but fuck you, you asked
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>>767604979
Macfag spotted
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>>767604211
They had to detach it but they didn't cut it off.
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>>767605030
no? queer stupid reddit bitch detected, you have to go back.
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I have a skin picking disorder
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>>767605311
>i have a reddit disorder
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>>767604979
I mean why are you calling a basic paint program photoshop?
Do you use photoshop to scribble lines on images?
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>>767605438
You don't say
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>>767605472
yes. i dont have paint, and never bothered to learn your faggy ass photoshop
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>>767605614
youre fat
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>>767605472
Who the fuck can't use MS paint
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>>767601247
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>>767605707
No u
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>>767603457
Why are your injuries hovering outside your body, and why do they look like they were drawn with the biggest fucking brush?
Anyway, either stop puttin cigarettes out on your arms or become a better welder. They have gloves for a reason.
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>>767605719
I DONT HAVE PAINT YOU FAT AUTISTIC RERE
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Fucking selfharming faggots man
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>>767601266
>>767603549

not the person who posted that, but that's essentially my body

>played sports for all of high school and am still athletic
>no real injuries because i don't suck at sports

>not stupid enough to burn myself

>not stupid enough to fuck with dangerous animals or piss off non-dangerous ones

>what even the fuck does 'childhood memories' mean. fuck the op is retarded

>never needed surgery because my body is great

pic is for all the fucked up people with shit bodies and shit brains
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>>767603536
Lol, self harm on dick what a fag.
Aside from your pussy ass cutting, this seems pretty legit.
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>>767601247
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Wife prefers the company of a darker persuasion...
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>>767605789
LOL
>I don't know how to use photoshop
what a faglord
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>>767605776
So.... you for sure are a macfag
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>>767605257
Nice try
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>>767605719
I know right? What a fucking idiot.
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>>767605776
Mac fag detected
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>>767605917
no...im not, linux
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>>767601247
Does shit that happened by accident but I still did to myself count as self harm?
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>>767605846
>self harm on dick what a fag.
No, I pull out the pubic hair on my testicles when I'm stressed. The cutting lasted a couple weeks, I used a scalpel. Then I realized I could take a scalpel to my inflamed/infected feet and it hurt way more and no one could tell.
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>>767605180
Ouch.
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>>767601247
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>>767606033
i cut my dick when in sad
>fag
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The only thing that wasn't just a random cut or something.

I fell out in a run my 5th week in my unit. Got the silver bullet.
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>>767605472
Wait, let me get this straight:

You downloaded photoshop, but never learned to use it.
And you never got a basic fucking paint program.

You are a special kind of idiot.

>inb4 sorry for samefagging, I needed to laugh at this guy across several posts
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>>767605902
what?
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>>767606100
Maybe? And pulling out pubic hair might be a bit faggish too, I don't really know or care.
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>>767605976
Holy fuck that is even less of an excuse.
Get fucking paint.
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>>767606033
Hahaha, you suck.
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>>767606211
suck more dicks faggot, then learn photoshop you queer, so you can ps yourself sucking like 12 dicks
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>>767606335
you sure you got the right guy?
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>>767606302
what? fuck you and fuck paint i like krita BITCH
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>>767606324
I did say I was boring.
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>>767606203
kek
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>>767601247
Is that a diagram of the chakra network
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>>767606203
>i dont feel so good
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>>767605789
...but you have a bit red blotch of faggotry on your own pic, homie.
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>>767606202
^ this
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>>767601247
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>>767605795
Milktoast, coddled motherfucker, this one. But I enjoy your long explanation about how you have great brains; this is the correct place to let us know that.
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>>767606203
>>767606839
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>>767605891
Meh.
You probably weren’t worth it.
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All teeth pulled
Surgery on toes
Playing with Fire
Hernia surgery

Old bitch Nun beating my knuckles with a pencil for having an eraser on it.
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>>767606839
I keked
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>>767606423
Listen. I know that/b/ has had a bee in its bonnet about this for years, but either too many people are having dick surgery, or too many people think I give a shit if they’re circumcised.
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>>767606579
Tattooed myself with my friends tattoo kit for banter. ink wasnt safe so it turned into a scar
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I was attacked by an ass hole that got away with it, but I got him in the end.
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>>767607002
It’s fun, because the surgery part makes sense.
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>>767607349
I’d definitely call that one “other” mate.
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my story
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>>767607431
pulled the scab off multiple times so id call it self harm in a sense
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>>767607380
He did you a favor man, that looks like the only interesting thing that ever happened to you.
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>>767603118
kek
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>>767605789
agree

full of faggots full of self-harm, scars are fine but self harm scars are like a tattoo that says "IM A HUGE FAGGOT"
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>>767607380
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>>767603536
Fellow ms sufferer. Shit sucks, man. Seems like you've dealt with it longer than i have. Good work making it this far, hope i can keep going too.
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>>767601247
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>>767603549
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you're a faggot
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Ankles aren't externally bad but internally they're pretty fucked from a few sprains each
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>>767601266
this

i have some small "chillhood memories but thats pretty much all", i've had surgery but no real scar


never self harmed, that shit is for huge faggots

no burn scars, im not a fucking firefighter

no animal incidents, im not from africa
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>>767601729
Boo
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>>767606203
Were you in a fire?
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don't have time to redo this
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>>767608364
I’d tap that.
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>>767608449
>this faggot is dumb
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>>767608604
I just kinda questioned it.

I wanted an answer of "Yes i was" so I could start drawing a fag on fire.
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>>767608464
wttf
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>>767608464
How the fuck are you not dead?
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>>767608655
Tire blowout at high rate of speed = rollover, ejection, pain/suffering
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>>767608464
Wow that’s so cool how you’ve saved a different image entirely and how your file name implies that nobody else has ever been in a car wreck! It really sell the post-accident brain damage angle; the courts will love it.
I also love how, even though your image is titled “the scar meme” and ours is “show us your story” you still posted tons of text about internal injuries.

Shut the fuck up, boring faggot.
The fact that you have this saved is a testament to your egocentrism and obliviousness.
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Other than the massive burn scaring nothing else is really that noticeable.
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>>767601247
Feet scars are the product of drunken knife throwing and lots of broken glass. I've cut my toes to the bone several times, buddy and I were throwing knives into a wooden floor and I get up to piss... few minutes later I realize my feet are sticking to the floor I had kicked the knife in the floor without realizing and nearly severed my toe. I always find broken glass (I never wear shoes).

If there were a broken bones one that would be completely colored in
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>>767608744
Good question.
Same month I had my accident, childhood friend lost control of his vehicle on a turn, and hit a tree. He died on the 10 minute ride to hospital of internal bleeding. I had a torn fucking aorta at the aortic isthmus(which is a typical trauma related injury from you chest hitting steering wheel), you have a 50/50 shot of survival
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>>767603963
How do you cut a hole open?
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>>767608922
You are one angry cunt.
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>>767609111
Hey guess what? The randomly repeated numbers attached to this post were literally the only interesting thing about it.
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>>767608654
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>>767601247
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>>767609197
Yeah, well I also took less than 5 seconds to look at your image before saying “oh. It’s just a car accident. There is literally nothing interesting here.” But you have seriously devoted time and energy into believing that surviving a crash makes you hot shit.
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Now surviving being struck by lightning 70 times, that's some hot shit.
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>>767609366
Parrot bite your ear you emo cutter faggot?
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>>767609371
Dude. Stop
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>>767609469
a parrot did actually bite my ear holy shit
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>>767608922
I know what you want, but I'm not taking the bait, and won't give it to you.
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>>767609371
What do you do to help with all the mental scars you have?
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>>767609512
Make me bitch. You rolled your car and were in pain before you got stitched up.
Probably a few months or years of reparative therapy. Neat. Post a fucking image with some scars scribbled on and I’d nod approvingly.
But post a whole shitload of text talking about how awesome your injuries were with a file name like “I Win”? Motherfucker now you’re just another boring faggot. Like the thousands of others who rolled their cars, but with some inexplicable pride about it.
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>>767609657
Laugh at people who get online to blow up one car crash into the single worst thing that happened to anyone ever.
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>>767609366
Did your childhood include fire walking or something?
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>>767608985
Hey bro.
Get your fucking act together.
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>>767607937
One of my favorites so far. Used a reasonable size brush. A few easily identified scars, but yellow on the shoulder and green on the sides bears further story.
No cutting faggotry.
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>>767610068
building tree houses walking on nails
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>>767610555
nicejob team
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>>767611321
?
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>>767603963
oof.wvm
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Yellow circles are various work injuries
>Mechanic by trade.
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>>767601247
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>>767612688
Stop stepping on hedgehogs you self harming faggot.
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>>767606203
fukin kek
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other than just wanting to die the most notable thing would have been my breast reduction surgery
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>>767608840
How'd it happen? Low tire pressure?
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>>767613374
Jesus Christ!
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>>767614289
Ok, but if you wanted to die, why are you cutting your nose? That’s not how it works.
Also, did they let you keep your old boobs in a jar or something?
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>>767615291
no, the nose was just cutting the inside of my nostril cause I wanted the pain.

You know if they would of let me keep two piles of bloody cut up skin I probably would have.
>>
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>>767601247
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>>767616192
u a monk?
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>>767616236
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>>767607463
So brave
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bump
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>>767601247
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Trans woman here. Had facial feminization surgery (FFS) and sex reassignment surgery (SRS). Shit was pretty cash.
>>
Surgery is from runnimg into a glass pane and the table corner when very young.
Animal incidents were all from my neighbors old guard dog who I'd catch when he frequently got out.
Burn is a cigarette burn if I remember right.
Childhood memories are from "boys being boys"
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I guess its not self-harm for the mouth, because all pain there registers as intense pleasure, so i always fuck my cheeks lips and gums up. Neck ring is from asphyxiation to get out of bad mental episodes where i got the rest of the self-harm. I blame a couple of asshole childhood "friends" for my damage.
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>>767605795
>pic is for all the fucked up people with shit bodies and shit brains
except they literally are killing themselves by damaging their body stupid faggot.
maybe they're not the ones who should use a noose though, since you're more of an abstract kind of dumb.
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>>767618217
Traps are gay.
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>>767606203
kek
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>>767601247
As a kid i got into a fight with another kid who ended up hitting me against the head with a sharp rock, left a nasty scar but hair grew over it. Also i got amnesia after that, i still can't remember anything beyond that point.

Also as a kid, went to the lake some other kid got pissy and started throwing rocks at people got me in the nose and left a scar.

At 16 a dog bit my wrist left a small scar.

At 17 my friend dared me to hit a tree as hard as i could for $50, i did and fucked up the nerves in the right hand. Was nicknamed iron fist after that.

At 18 went camping with buds, got drunk tripped and fell down a hill at the same time a log toppled over into my left knee shattering the bone.
Ended with surgery. I've walked with a limp ever since.

At 21 helped my friend pick up something really fucking heavy, he decided to let go halfway through the trip and the weight of it all going down pulled something in my back. Now any heavy lifting puts a dull pain that will increase over time.

I'm only 22 years old and i have a fucked back, limp, no feeling in my right hand, problems breathing through my nose, and can't remember anything beyond age 6 due to the rock.
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>>767622758
Man, what ever happened to the kid who hit you with the rock?
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>>767622758
What did you spend the $50 on?
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>>767601247
LOL you fucking neckbeards self-harming FUCKING KILL YOURSELVES ALREAD

to think motherfuckers died fighting in wars and shit just so you fat fucking losers can poke yourselves with knives just because 'muh feelings muh rages muh emo stage'

fucking neck yourselves you useless cunts
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>>767623001
He got in a lot of trouble but they couldn't do much because he was only 6, however as he got older he got into more and more trouble until his parents sent him away to military school.

>>767623090
I bought Last of Us.
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>>767623281
i bet 99% of the self-harmers are fucking AMERIFATS

fucking country full of F R E A KS
>>
>>767623281
>has never cum from pain

You will never know true pleasure.
>>
>>767607153
I was born with three balls.
>>
>>767623415
>You will never know true pleasure.

are you fucking serious? cutting yourself with a knife is 'PLEASURABLE'?!!!!!!

lol get out and see the fucking world loser you'll find WAY MORE SHIT MORE PLEASURABLE than sticking a fucking knife in your skin.

it's like some angsty American made weird fad you dumb cunts will look back on in 5 years and think WTF was i doing being such FUCKING RETARD at that age
>>
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>>767601247
>>
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>>767606408
Yeah, I'm with you anon, no idea what the fuck he's on about. Looks fine here.
>>
>>767623624
>lol get out and see the fucking world loser
I don't see how having cum from pain would coincide with having not "[gotten] out and see[ing] the fucking world" but okay.
Maybe it's you who needs to get out and see more?
>>
>>767608922
lmao get a load of this faggot. You're acting like this thread hasn't been made a million times over with slight variations, it still does the job, and at least he's participating instead of brainlessly dropping toxic shit.
>inb4 hurrrr durrr i was only pretending to be retarded
>>
>>767623624
>it's like some angsty American made weird fad
Only an amerifat would be dumb enough think Americans were the first to use knives sexually.
Pic related
>>
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Mostly healed by now
>>
>>767623309
How do you know this when you have amnesia?
>>
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>>767605795
>played sports all through highschool
>no real injuries because I don't suck at sports
>doesn't mention college
>didn't do anything with sports after high school
>thinking whatever shit soy highschool team you had was relevant
>thinking sports injuries are because of something that you do
>actually being this sperg
>>
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Ketosis Outbreaks
Dental Surgery
Ear was cut with scissors
Bare Foot outside Injuries as a Child
>>
>>767624359
I've always wondered how to mock people's writing while at the same time needing. a slightly different form of it. Is the square brackets the way to go there? Like are you sure about this way of doing it?
>>
>>767625144
That was basically a reset on my memories, all i knew was my first name, my dad's name and what my brother looked like. I didn't know my dad was my dad because i only knew his name, and as soon as i saw my brother i knew that i knew him somehow.

Other than that i basically had to relearn everything. If i try to remember back to my earliest memory it's just me in the hospital.
>>
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>>767625144
Also if you're asking how i knew that happened to him, after i relearned everything i was told that he was the one who did it to me, and from then on i just went to school with him for several more years. He was sent to military school at the age of 16.
>>
>>767625582
wtf
>>
>>767625715
Last of my kind man :/
>>
>>767625744
tried to jump from more than a couple of stories, fell down stairs, or do you suspend yourself on wires assumong not skin related?
>>
>>767625613
i amm 22 too but iwasted my life all of it doing nothing now im finally going to trade school, it feels like amnesia too except i really wanna forget it all and pretend im 18 again
>>
>>767625931
Nah. I Fought the entire fire nation.
>>
>>767626073
what r u talking about honest
>>
>>767626165
I was fucking frozen for like 100 years woke up to this hot ass girl who could wipe her own ass with a wave.
>>
>>767626267
whats a wave
>>
Cut my eye open dancingin the bathtub as a toddler, had wisdom teeth removed, at 19 developed fibromyalgia, at 20 found out have skull based tumor possibly cancer.
>>
>>767626436
Also fistula repair in anus.
>>
>>767626436
omgoodness
>>
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i don't know if IUDs technically count as surgery but whatever.
>>
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>>767601247
>>
>>767626667
Yup. Life is life haha
>>
>>767626436
>had wisdom teeth removed
There's a sucker born every minute
>>
>>767626820
? Its no major surgery, but it is technically one.
>>
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>>767601247
>>
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>>767626037
It's ok, my friend. Doesn't really matter that much wasting a few years in the early twenties. Hope you like trade school.
>>
>>767626672
IUDs are the best, just do the dudes a favor and don't catch aids
>>
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>>767628135
I stubb my toes often
>>
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>>767601247
>>
>>767601623
Low-life waste of space detected
>>
>>767628228
intentionally ?
>>
>>767628861
What sick fuck would intentionally stubb their toes?
Perhaps the same sick fuck that would have animal related injuries in their groin.

>>767628135
What kind of sick fuck are you?
>>
>letting gookmoot harvest unique identifiers about your body, on a uniquely identified post that is automatically archived
>>
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>>767601627
Ahhaaha you must've been one gigantic self-harming faggot of a teenager. I'd have bullied you and caused more scars
>>
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>chef lad who dabbled in self harm a month or two ago
>>
>>767625715
>>767625931
>>767626165
>>767626347
>>
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>>767601247
The worst self harm is in the mind....
>>
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>>767601247
>>
>>767631431
fuck off tranny
>>
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>>767606203
Well done
Thread replies: 239
Thread images: 80


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