Ability to eat through ass hole and shit through mouth.
crack my fingers every time
Nap anywhere, I am Napman
The ability to speak every language, but you can't use your mouth.
Be invisible but only if you scream very loud
I cry every time I get a boner
>>767558291
It's not really a superpower, it's just something that I do
>>767557546
can fly, but only underwater
>>767557546
I can drink alcohol, never get drunk but still throw up
>>767557546
Cold war Russia
>>767558063
Than you cant speak any language you Autistic cunt
>>767558413
How else could you possibly simulate talking other than your mouth, right....
>>767557546
Ability to read minds that only works if no one is around
>>767558413
>>767558512
he got you there faggit
I turn Gin into awesome
>>767557958
Useful
>>767557546
The ability to blow bubbles whenever I want.
>>767557546
I can make my skeleton turn invisible.
>>767557546
Start an itch whenever and wherever I want on my body, but can't stop it,
I have the ability to make my hands really big
ability to always get taken advantage of in every conceivable situation
the power to forget the fact that you have a super power of forgetting your super power of forgetting your super power of forgetting.
must fags here are invisible to women.
Being really good at flirting with men as a dyke
>>767557546
to time travel forward in time at a speed of one second per second.
>>767557546
can transform into a nigger
>>767557546
I have the ability to always have a dirty ass. I wipe and wipe and wipe and wipe and wipe and wipe. Then I stick a piece of TP in my ass crack to protect my shorts. Then an hour later, I go back and wipe some more.
Picture is not related
>>767559079
Sounds like a normal day as a janitor on /b/
>>767557546
the ability to eat lead but i'm not immune to lead poisoning
Can smell farts from 10 miles. Details of who and where are distorted. Especially in crowds or wheat fields.
Ability to get dubs whenever I want. But only when it's not a get thread.
>>767557546
The ability to bring any amount of liquid on a plane even if its over 4oz
Every possible post I get quints, But I'm banned
>>767557546
Ability to eat tenfold the mass normal people could but only disgusting stuff that nearly makes you vomit with every bite you take.
>>767558804
Thats my superpower now friend.
Ill be taking it
>>767557546
>Ability to eat through ass hole and shit through mouth.
Ah, of course. Interorectogestion.
i have the ability to remember the details of every time i ever blinked my eyes
>>767557546
I can turn gold into cheese.
>>767558063
But can you write in all languages?
>>767557546
I can see John Cena.
>>767559396
Fucking niggers man. Always stealing shit.
>>767558563
then how do you know you can read minds, faggot?
My pockets have unlimited supplies of zimbabwe dollar
>>767557546
The abillity to take my limbs off at will and still be able to use them. But cant be reattached without costly surgery.
Invisible but only when there is nobody else around.
The ability to sense any ailment in a person, but acting on it or telling anyone would result in the ill person's death
>>767558854
atleast you didnt forget to be unfunny
>>767559475
That's part of the superpower
>>767557546
You can get money as a freak, or fetish sex shows.
>>767558063
You go and become a spy, or translator
>>767558372
That's not flying, but still you can go faster in water than average humans. Go get your medals and be millionaire.
>>767558563
Does this mean you can read minds from one room to another? Steal information, get rich.
I can continue, try harder faggits.
ability to shapeshift but only into a milk jug and you can't shapeshift back into human form
Anytime i touch anything it breaks. Open a door, door breaks. Hug a loved one, broken every bone. Take a piss, snapped cock
>>767559632
the power to die whenever i want
>>767559574
so you think useless is synonymous with funny or are you just retarded?
>>767559705
Think of all th different milk jugs ypu could be though.
>>767559632
Coolio
>>767559632
The ability to be a huge cum gargling faggot...shit you already claimed that one nm
>>767558372
Can fly, but only at a speed of .1 meters per second
>>767558225
That could definitely help in a shootout. Everyone else would be screaming too.
every time I fart I lose an inch of my penis
>>767559752
So you're bulletproof?
Have a bachelors of science in psychology
>>767559940
Might be useful if it eventually forms into a vagina with miles of space.
>>767559994
No the bullet would break on impact but not lose velocity so multiple entry wounds and more damage caused
>>767558791
So much possibilities for profit. Not useless at all
>>767559194
Get rich over science studies.
>>767559349
That's one fuckin useful superpower ,mate
>>767559535
You can basically cause some people to die at will with nobody knowing and no evidence. You can always profit on that. Get rich.
>>767559999
Quads of truth
>>767559999
ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS ABILITY TO GET QUAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDSSSSSSS
>>767559414
You can use it to completely screw rich people, pajeets and sandniggers ... How is this not useful?
Ability to freeze time but will also become frozen with everything else.
>>767559813
I mean its kind of more floating at that point but sounds kinda cool. I mean you can always relax up in the sky
>>767557546
To make women over the age of 40 wet but not horny.
ability to change the flavor of my cum
>>767560690
I see no downside
>>767560690
Make it delicious, end world hunger.
You are nobel prize winner for blowjobs
Ability to die on my own command
ability go turn beer into piss
Ability to negate powers, but only the most useless powers in this thread
>>767560855
Useful for fucking with people you hate
>>767560855
So you just turn stouts into Bud light?
Might be handy in my shitty redneck town.
Ability to win arguments on the internet
>>767557546
Breathe through my mouth and nostrils at the same time
>>767559773
So what, you're like a muslim or something? Lol.
Just kidding. In fact that's a super power you save for last in case you need it. Let's say you suffer a terminal decease, and are in horrible pain? Still useful if only once. Kind of like jedis do.
Every shit I take is shaped perfectly like a dick
Every time you dream, you enter the body of a random animal on earth, exactly 5 years ago from the current day.
You essentially are capable of travelling into & altering the past, but are restricted by the capabilities of that animal.
You could become a mouse, and visit your recently deceased parents, while they scream at you and try and trap you every time you try to interact with them
Or a pidgeon and shit on some people at the beach
>>767557546
Ability to stop time.
Globally. No drawbacks other than physics.
Everything just freezes for as long as you want. Everything but you.
Air has just become solid you can't move, no particles are moving around you so momentarily radiate energy and get hypothermia. You can't breathe. You see nothing because photons don't come to your eyes.
Best part is, if you weren't on either pole, your momentum is gonna squish you against the air.
>>767559813
So you can basically climb any height and drop down from any cliff. Nice.
>>767557546
Maybe the ability to sneeze with wide open eyes
>>767557546
>>767559632
I challange you
>you can turn in to a muslim when you wear a c4 west.
>you can make smelly soap bubbles with your mouth when you eat out your grandma
>you have 100% control over your boners but only when you are in a kindergarten
>you can turn your mucus into poisonous raisins
>you can fuck any women in the world but anytime you use your power your dick permanently shrinks 25%
>you can turn into a cactus
>you can speak with pigeons but the momment you use your power pigeons attack you
>you can make anyone fell in love with you but you have no feelings and you are paralyzed
>you have nightvision when you put your penis into a mans butthole
I can immediatly get rid of any trace of motivation
>>767561029
I can do that! yaaay I am the superhero gotham deserves!
bump, I want more useless powers.
ability to make my self itchy when ever i want.
Superior English Intellect!
Being the worlds best marksman, but only when shooting blanks.
I'm really good at picking out birthday cards. Like, really good.
>>767567214
>not making your own
>>767567214
prove it. I give you my profil and you give me a birthday card. I am 28, in relationship, unemployed, fit. I no longer enjoy vidya games, Im starting my own business atm, flirted with a puerto rican girl today, I hate transgenders, feminazis, niggers, muslims, liberal agendas. Im pretty down to earth and realistic, I think I am pretty dumb and avg but then I go out and meet with other ppl and realize I may be actually ok but I will never cure cancer or design spacerockets. I like animals and sometimes I have strong social anxiety. Once I fapped to horses fucking. I like voyeur porn and I like to eat soap.
>>767557546
Melt icecream the closer I get to eating it.
>>767566571
Shooting blanks is not shooting, its like finger pistols. 1/10
I can stop a bus with just one finger, but only if the driver sees me and is kind enough to pick me up.
The ability to seduce anyone. As long as they are dead.
Once I tapped for 5h consecutively.
My dick then got swallen and soar.
I mean after that.
You can survive in the vacuum of space.
cum while peeing
>>767570402
People would pay to see a porn of that.
1HKO people in coma.
Wake up 5 minutes before the alarm sets off
>>767569663
They use blanks in some competitions. There is still a bunch of unburnt powder and carbon that comes flying out which is great for popping balloons at close distances. By all means fire a blank into your leg from about 6 inches away and tell me its a finger gun.
Nice try tho.
>>767557546
>Get everyone to stand up and clap for me and tell me I'm brave and strong on tv or at award shows & twitter
>Behind my back they still call me a faggot or a tranny and make homophobic jokes about me
Impervious to feathers.
>>767571293
it is finger gun. yeah you can kill yourself or someone with a blank easily, just put it on the temple and pull the trigger... or blind someone, but it has to be close and personal and at that point its nothing more than a melee weapon.
even my finger guns can blind someone or break and airpipe if I want to.
>>767571764
Maybe thats why its a 'useless superpower'?
>>767571293
I meant windpipe. Anatomy in english is not my strength.
being a 100% marksman in mucus catapulting, thats a proper useless super ability.
The ability to urn plant matter, through ingestion, into plant nutrients. I hear its a rare condition gifted to only a few.
>>767571853
you cant be a marksman with blank bullets. its like saying being the best sleepwalker while being awake. total nonsense
