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Give me your worst pick up lines I'm going to try them on

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Thread replies: 82
Thread images: 10
Give me your worst pick up lines I'm going to try them on girls at this party im at
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>>767515262
Pick up lines don't matter. If shes into you, she'll like what you say regardless (unless its extra fucking stupid). If shes not into you, the wittiest line might make her laugh but shes not gonna suck your cock. Be the best you and find people who appreciate you.
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>>767515262
You're not going to turn me down, because of the implication....
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>>767515262
Why is a celestial being like you on a terrestrial place like this?
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>>767515262
Try the Lorenzo von Matterhorn method
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>>767515262
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, hi I'm *insert name here*

Hope you're ready to get your bird wet, fella
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Does this smell like chloroform to you?
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I'm not looking up to pick up girls just say the worst thing ever. Like "want to play a game" them "no"
"THAT'S THE SPIRIT"

Or

"Hey want to know how I know we're having sex tonight"
"Because I'm stronger then you"
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>>767515262
Are you a Ching Chong?
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OP here
I'm white, 6 foot redhair
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>>767515262
Get in the van you dumb cunt!
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Tell her you are a secret trap and get her to peg you
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>>767515262
Im
Not gaynur gay
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You know how to keep a beautiful girl in suspense? I'll tell you later.
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Can I have sloppy seconds?
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I saved four lives today
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>>767515699
>Lorenzo Von Matterhorn is a fake name used by Barny Stinson (Neal Patrick Harris) to pick up women at bars. Basically, he picked a very unique name so that he can create content on the Internet and have it show up when someone Googles his name
>fake nuz nuz bud
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hey girl i know im not too handosome but i would like to dance with you
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You're hot, let's fuck
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what do you like more about men?

i like tits more than anything hah
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>>767515708
Do you know how to tell if someone put roofies in your drink?
No? Good.
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I want to respect you, if you know what I mean.
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>>767515262
>suck my dick you fucking slut
>hahah, just joking!
>but seriously... you want to?
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>>767515262
I've come here to chew ass and kick bubble gum... And I'm all out of gum
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>>767515262
Hey I'm (your name) and I bet I can disappoint you in more ways then you can imagine.
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Hey are you on your period? Because my dicks name is tampon. Works Everytime 100%.
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Can I spread peanut butter on your vag and watch a dog make you come?
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>>767515262
A guy I knew in school told me that, no shit, his dad used this at bars and ended up married after a bit to a girl that actually responded positively to it: "Hey, you're hot, wanna fuck?"
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I heard your pussy screaming from across the bar. It was screaming violently for my penis. Well, it's here beautiful. It's here.
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Another 99
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>>767515262
Hey there devildog, is that a dag-gon green weenie in your cammies or are you just motivated to see me? can I get a KILL!
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>>767515262
"When i see you my balls get all tingly"
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Ever suck a guys hemmorhoids before?
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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
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>>767515262
Hi. I'm Anon. Do you like orgys?
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May I stick my penis into your vagina?
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Hey baby here's my cock (point to cock)

Hey how you doing (like friends joey)

How against STDs are you?
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>>767516763
this is a certain elegance to this.
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>>767516937
WINNING.
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>>767517011
Real original
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I've been using all of these none have hit gold yet guys. I'm looking for shock and ah
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>>767515840
>Did you know redheads have no soul? So even if I rape you I'm not going to hell
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I’m attempting to have as much random, anonymous sex with as many different partners as possible, for science. Would you be willing to expand the frontiers of science with me? It’s for science, you understand.
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>>767515262
If you were a vegetable you would be a cute-cumber
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>>767515262
If you were a Transformer you would be Optimus Fiiiiiiine.
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Hello. May I make a sex at you, please?
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>>767515262
Try saying
“I sure would like to rub my dick back and forth inside of you”
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>>767517403
Glad you like them.
Almost as original as your comment, please swim in lava.
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>>767515262
Just walk up and shout LOOK OUT and then just start punching yourself in the fucking face.
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>>767515702
>fella
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>>767515262
>needing pick up lines to get laid.girlslaughing
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"Can I finger your belly button?"
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>>767515262
Get n the car if you ever want to see another sunrise bitch
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>>767518469
I want to see this happen
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>>767518550
>bird
mysides.jpg
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You’re going to need a van.
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>>767515262
Do your best Cosby impression and say

"either we fuckin, or im fuckin"

chuckle lightly and pull your hand away from her drink at this point
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>>767515262
this one works half the time
>go up to person and say "up high!"
>"down low!"
>but instead of your thumb
>its your dick
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Hey baby are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot kids up in ya.

85% of the time, it works every time.
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>>767519628
Your my hero I'm using that one alot
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>>767515262
Baby do you want to see my cum-face?

or

Do you like basements?

Do you know what rabbits like to do all day?

or

Let's play mom and dad
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Why don’t you sit on my face, and let me eat my way to your heart
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>>767520566
>Want to play Pacino? You sit on my face and I will tell lies.
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>>767516290
>using then for than
already ahead, boyee
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>>767515262
"Excuse me, I think you dropped something--"
*looks around*
"Your standards, hi, I'm anon"
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>pick up lines are pointless.. Making them laught helps though...
That said I'm guessing this is just for kicks so....
Hey I got ** inches that sais you'll fall in love after one go

You are so hot your orbiters has orbiters

Who's got 2 thumbs 3 holes and all my attention? You do..

Do you know CPR? Cause seeing you just made my heart stop.

I'm from the future, come with me if you want to fuck.

Damn... My dick has never been this hard....


Hey you said worst.... That's worst haha
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Help. A poisonous snake bit my cock
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>>767523333
Quads nice! Have you read brawling go by any chance?
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>>767515262
>Excuse me miss, can I pee in your bum?
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>>767523333
Venomous is what you're thinking.
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>>767515262
Im a vegan
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Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

Thank me later.
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>>767523758
No, but I just read some of the first chapter, and it looks pretty funny
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>>767525471
Your welcome bro
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>>767516478
autistic boot. go back to your working party
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You know why a cock crows in the morning? Because it a doodle-doed you last night.
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>>767515262
"Let's get drunk and let us fuck- when it was not good enough: blame the booze"

> confirmed
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>>767516076
This is what you are looking for OP
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>>767515262
"That outfit is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you I'd be-cumming too!"
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>>767525005
He should just say AIDS snake
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Are you a Muslim? Cause I think you’re the bomb!
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>>767515262
Do you kmow what the difference is between a bj and a chicken sandwich??


What are you doing for lunch?
Thread replies: 82
Thread images: 10


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