Bird issues.
This fucker started storing it's food just outside my window.
What do?
>>767399145
Keep hiding it and putting it back
Steal his food
Shoot the fucking thing. Could kill it easily with a pellet gun
>>767399145
ask that fucker to pay rent or gtfo
Teach it to talk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbRS9K4rZ8Y
>>767399371
apparently they are smart as fuck. how to trap it?
>>767399562
GAS GAS GAS GOTTA STEP ON THE GAS!
>>767399777
ooo
>>767399145
Co exist!
>>767399777
I have my ashtray just 0.5m away, never comes when I'm around.
>>767399145
Push it off the ledge so it falls to it's death.
>>767399145
birds are cool, leave him alone
Motion to trade it for whatever you can give (some similar piece of food). It might be interesting.
>>767400039
It shat there 2 times last year :(
>>767400135
>trying to keep birds from shitting on the tops of buildings
Sounds like a worthwhile pursuit. Let me know how it turns out.
>>767399145
Simple. Keep feeding the beast.
Then make a little sort of bird house for it. make sure it's comfy, and well furnished.
Keep feeding the beast and then one day stop.
It will most likely come back confused, but, randomly after about a day or two show up with food while you are there.
Eventually you will make a friend, and this beast will protect your window. As long as you feed it.
Stop being a pussy and go fuck with an actual human. What are you fucking 12? I bet you shoot your bb gun in your mommy's backyard when you get off work and burry dead things.
>>767399145
Befriend him and Give him shiny things. He will give things back if you do it long enough
>>767400382
I like this idea, *citation needed*. Will that really work?
>>767400500
I have some of those neodymium magnets and bismuth, both make me bored. Fuck you, I'm gonna put some magnets there to see if he likes it :)
>>767400500
trap set
>>767399145
ask him for Leonora
>>767400382
did you read that novel? is it any good?
thanks guys, I will try my best to trap this birb. will keep you posted
I can't believe this crow has got you so triggered OP. Like how comfy is your life that a single crow shitting on your building twice a year is a major issue that requires collective thought and others opinions?
Why not instead of treating it like an issue, you look at it as an opportunity. Feed it, train it, and eventually you can make it do tricks and shit which you can film and put on the internet. It goes viral, you make some money.
>>767402978
You are quite right, but I'm not interested in youtube shit. Befriending him would be nice. And teach him not to shit there! Well, it's /b/ so I'm not sure how will that shiny thingy will work, but I will leave that there overnight =) if it works, I will keep doing it, hopefully he will return more often.
>>767402978
>>767403365
>>>>767400382
>>767403448
>>767400500
P-pickle pee?
>>767399145
give him a cigarette obviously
>>767399145
>storing it's food
Not it's. It's means IT IS. You wanted to write ITS. This is simple and it makes you look smart.
>>767404445
Excellent rack.
Dude, read up on Crows, they are incredibly smart. If you fuck with it, it will know who you are and warn all it’s Crow-B/ros that you’re an asshole.
And they’ll treat you as such: scolding you, trying to poop on you, maybe even doing close dives near you if they hate you enough.
Befriending the thing has it’s downsides too: if you start to feed it he’ll tell his friends. And they’ll tell the local crow b/ros that you are a good source of food, and will start to expect food whenever they see you.
If you aren’t interested in making an animal friend then either leave the thing alone, or throw it’s food away and it will fuck off.
>>767404746
Any sauce please?
I have a boring job right now, have plenty of time to read.
>>767404527
>>767404976
https://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/26/science/26crow.html
https://www.popsci.com/science/article/2012-06/how-crows-recognize-individual-humans-warn-others-and-are-basically-smarter-you
http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2010/02/caveman-or-dick-cheney-crows-know-difference
>>767400607
Yes, actually. I toss corn chips to the crows at work, over time they've come to recognize me and my car. They now dive-bomb any pigeon that gets close to it, police the area so nothing shits on the Frito-mobile.
>>767404976
Also, personal experience.
I take a walk at work everyday, and have established a spot to feed the crows, as well as a whistle that I do each time.
I throw them a generous handful of peanuts in their shells, and make the whistle. Twice they’ve made the whistle at me as I approached which was fucking cool.
Also, when I drive to and from work on occasion they give my car an escort. Meaning they fly near my car as I drive in, keeping an eye on it to see if it’s peanut time.
It’s a part of my day that I enjoy.
Another cool thing; One time I saw a red tailed hawk snag a crow from out of the tree.
The crows started scolding, and close to 50 crows all gathered to watch the hawk eat the crow alive, squawking the whole time. It was like a weird, crow, funeral.
>>767405115
>>767405237
Thanks both! It's getting late here, I will report back tomorrow.
>>767405398
And here is just some minor sauce for the crows learning vocalizations: http://www.jcrows.com/crowfct.htm
>>767399145
Store YOUR food in IT'S nest
Show him what-for!
>>767399145
You've got a friend! Treat him with respect
kill it and leave the carcass there for a few days so other crows get the message, or you will become crow central, those noisy cunts will wake you up at every opportunity
>>767405608
https://youtu.be/Mo_DMGc2v5o
>>767406653
https://youtu.be/U9t-slLl30E
