God here. [AMA]
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
God here. [AMA]
How’s it going
>>767330292
Get me off this fucking planet
Explain pediatric AIDS, fucker.
>>767330292
Hey, God.
Why?
Sincerely, Anon.
>>767330292
What's it like knowing everything, such like what it would be like to be a spider monkey rammed by Emma Watson's 23-foot weener?
Any reason for allowing My Name Jeff Compliations?
>>767330292
god isnt real youre not god kill yourself faggot
Honest question do you want me to sabotage this asteroid redirect mission or not?
I want to
>>767330345
pretty good
not great
chugging along
>>767330367
fuck bro I'm not sure what body forms you'd have to take to get out of here.
if you die you can ask the Pyramids
But if you mean get me out of living
kinda no one can do that
you're stuck moving through time and space for eternity
like the rest of us.
>>767330389
never studied myself so I couldn't
but if you mean death and destruction I kinda always fighting against it instead of raging at my team mates
>>767330443
you've been waiting to post that haven't you lol
>>767330450
I forget the response to this
>>767330528
>god isnt real
>youre not god
IT CAN'T BE BOTH MOTHERFUCKER
How do i help a woman who got molested as a child and was left at the altar out of depression?
>>767330744
shut up faggot
>>767330779
tell her you want to help her and will do anythin to do so. tell her you want to gain her trust
>>767330292
why are you such a dick sometimes
>>767330292
do you ever take a shit?
What is your name?
Why did you allow me to be born
>>767330964
Mohammed
>>767330978
What is your quest?
>>767330292
Why is my G-spot up my ass?
>>767330292
If God is good why isn't there a God 2?
>>767331036
blow up america
>>767331087
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
>>767330479
Knowing everything isn't what you think
It's like you can know anything if you try
it's all in the subconscious
you can study
and work at it
but it's not like I'm infinite in power and knowledge at all times
though I've passed through those phases
look if I was all knowing and all poweful ALL the time, life would suck
I could turn the Earth into a duck or something
>>767330528
Nah I'm God Faggotino
>>767330588
No seriously let them play in space
I honestly don't think rocket ships are spaceships
they're literally no better than well aimed spit balls
>>767330779
only one anwser
True Love
It's an attractive force
try getting her to watch the first series of Pokemon
I did some voodoo to that series in which it will help the watcher find their true love
if she needs money try reading the Bible a few times
>>767330794
get the fuck off /b/ until you're over the age of 18
>>767330720
I look forward to making my god chuckle.
>>767331182
Understood. Then I will assist in it’s success.
Godspeed
>>767330836
bad advice
>>767330843
idk It's attached to me and I'm attached to it
>>767330893
only if I bend forward to let it rip
>>767330964
Just God
>>767330966
kinda no one gets out of being born
there's no hiding from existence
>>767331043
that's a shit measuring tool
>>767331162
uh what? African or European?
>>767331430
I don’t know that!
(Captcha was actually fucking bridges)
I had a voice in my head once that were very majestetic and lord like. It said: You call on me. Was very godlike.
Why do the crows and their family come at me like this?
>>767330292
If I don't believe in you, yet I still ask a question, do I in turn believe you exist?
>>767331615
it sure as hell wasn't me
I don't call on individuals to do anything for me unless they're politicians
to the common man
I ask them to do things as a group
Unless I design your body to excel in sports or something
my main art is life and life improvement
I believe, in the end I can turn the devil to good
>>767330292
are traps really gay
since your god you'll probably have the true answer
>>767331905
Perhaps.
Is superstring theory the ultimate theory and universe is an injury in the one where fibrous material has come apart, leading to a void of strings that span as wave functions through Time? If this is potentially true, that would cause the injury ? Did the one self harm or was he shot?
>>767330345
Better than it has at any other point in human history, my child.
>>767330367
Sorry, but you'd need a work visa and we just don't have the jobs available at the moment. You could give Elon a try, though.
>>767330389
That's when a child is born infected with the AIDS virus. Pretty shitty of the parents, if you ask me.
>>767330450
Hey, Anon.
'Cause.
Sincerely, God.
>>767330479
There's a difference between knowing all that is and knowing all that is not. And I'd feel bad for the monkey.
>>767330499
If I banned that then I would have to ban Napoleon Dynamite videos and that's a slide I'm keen on riding.
>>767331654
Crows are souls that are smart but still want to be animals and don't want to let go of that animal instinct
they're pretty ruthless thinkers
>>767331905
Traps are gay
The main reason I'm against LGBTQ+ is because your true love can't change sex in the land of time
and I want humanity to be good at finding true love
Am i gonna burn in hell? For blasfemi.
>>767330292
dear God, have I sinned with these singles? :^(
>>767330528
That isn't nice. You should never tell people to harm themselves, whether it be on the internet or in real life.
>>767330588
If I want to drop another asteroid on your planet then there's not a lot that can be done to stop me.
>>767330779
I recommend consulting a professional psychologist.
>>767330843
There is dickishness in all things, be they god or mortal or coffee table in a dark room.
>>767330893
I wouldn't have made Uranus if I wasn't planning on using it.
>>767330964
Mr God is my dad's name. You can just call me God. JK, my name is everything.
>>767330966
Actually, it was shoddy workmanship on Trojan's behalf that allowed that.
>>767332740
Nah Just don't tattoo your previous life's accomplishments on yourself
>>767332812
it's ok
Reddit is trolling everyone into it now
>>767330292
Big-bang chan here. Earlier today I was worried if you knew about something... since I don’t want to mention it here, is there any way you could assure me that you actually knew about it? (Because it is possible you didn’t due to complicated reasons, but i think you might have known that.)
>>767333300
Shameless bump
>>767331036
There's no quest system built into this universe. It's more of a sandbox thing where you have to make your own goals.
>>767331043
So that you can have goodfeels if you choose to, but don't have to worry about it going off every time your wang brushes against your clothes.
>>767331053
There isn't really room for that in this universe. I kind of am everywhere already.
>>767331162
That depends on both the distance it travels and the time it takes to travel that distance. There is no set answer to this regardless of the swallow's nationality.
>>767331615
Hmm, that doesn't sound familiar. Are you sure it wasn't just Eric Prydz playing over your headphones?
>>767331654
They want your food and shiny things and would like for you to leave the area.
>>767333300
Bump
>>767333300
unless it's a money making idea that's kicking around in my head then no... I have no idea what you're talking about.
>>767330292
Did Lucifer become a dragon at some point?
If so, how?
>>767330292
Will she ever love me?
>>767334389
yes
magic
>>767334475
Your true love loves you
isn't that better?
Can you make a rock so big that even you can't lift it?
>>767334609
I could break the church
but not yet.
>>767331759
You can ask questions of anything, be it real or not. This doesn't definitely state anything at all about you unless you make a habit of it.
>>767331905
Only if they have sex with men.
>>767332134
That is not the ultimate theory though it may be a part of it. You would have a hard time injuring space-time, however, so I wouldn't spend too much time looking for a giant space cannon, if you know what I mean.
>>767332740
Not for the blasphemy, no.
>>767332812
Say three Hail Boxxys and try not to do it again.
>>767333160
Just because everyone on Reddit is doing it doesn't mean that you have to. If you aren't comfortable with it then stick up for yourself and say so.
>>767333300
If it is what I think it is then I do know about it. If it's not then I'm not sure.
>>767334389
The only thing that Lucifer be dragon is his sorry ass back to hell after my home dawg Mike laid him the fuck out.
FU FU FUCK A BEAT I WAS TRYNA BEAT A CASE
>>767334609
Not God here.. but you just made me think about that.
"Upon this rock I shall build my church." Jesus said to Peter, I think.
Perhaps the answer is Yes.
That rock became a foundation, transforming it into something more than physical, but a structural part of something spiritual.
My thought is, what if God could lift the rock, but not with the church upon it?
>>767334475
Even if she does, there's no guarantee that things will work out perfectly in the end. Sometimes you've just got to give it a shot and hope for the best.
>>767334609
If I ever did do that I could just turn Super God and that would give me the boost I needed. I wouldn't want to try lifting a rock I created in that state, though.
>>767334767
The first step to succeeding is to try. The second step is often to try again. But stop putting things in people's mouths without their permission, yeah? That's not cool.
>>767330292
ayy
get me J & B and a corona
Will I be able to accomplish what I need to do on my own?
Is homosexuality a disease?
>>767335862
Not god here, (I’m Big-bang chan :D) homosexuality is attraction to the same sex. There is no way it is a disease.
>>767335720
I'll need to see some ID first.
>>767335827
Believing in yourself is great but understanding yourself and your limitations is often far more practical.
>>767335862
There is a disease very similar to it but it's only contagious to frogs.
>>767336133
I think I’ve stepped in serious doggy doo, and things are only going to get worse... are they?
y u so gay
>>767336354
Coz I’m both a boy and a girl and neither
>>767330292
Why am I so gay?
>>767336434
Because you fantasize about men in a sexual manner and look at men with lust. Try not doing it for a bit. Actually turn off your libido and focus on something more important. Fight your urge to get an erection. That valuable sexual energy has magical potential and you’re wasting it.
>>767330292
https://gogetfunding.com/abate-a-short-film/ donate to my friend's short please.
>>767330292
Where the fuck have you been, cunt?
Why don't you answer your phone?
Apparently if I pray to you it won’t work. Do you ever hear my prayers?
>>767336815
Telemarketers and the like, calling everyday. Why don’t you leave a message?
>>767336268
If you really don't see any way out of this then write it all down and maybe one day you'll be able to sell the idea to HBO to make a hit TV show out of.
>>767336354
I love all of you, penis or no. If that makes me gay then I guess we'll just have to live with it.
>>767336434
Because you are attracted to other individuals of your own gender.
>>767336781
Sorry, I must have left my wallet in my other cloud.
>>767336815
Around.
Because it's you calling.
Nah, I'm just kidding. ;p
>>767336851
Sure, but like the MacDonald's worker who takes you order, hearing and obeying are not the same thing.
>>767336944
I did. You know I did.
Stop being a dick.
>>767330292
why did you create black people
>>767330292
I'm done God kill me already. DO IT!!!!!
>>767337194
Not god here. Consider selling your soul? it’s worth something.
If I’m still able to retreive peoples force of will from them,(as long as I’m responsible with it) will you let me? :3
When i fought dracula he didn’t die. He could still cross over to this dimension potentially. Will he?
Was the little drummer boy real?
There was a girl who sunk to the bottom of the ocean...but stayed alive, drowning... is she ok now?
>>767337189
Why did you sail over to them and bring them back home with you?
>>767337194
On it. Bam, I just added another layer of cholesterol to your arteries. You might have to give it a couple years, but I promise it's coming.
>>767337324
Oi, I've had dibs on that for years. Go peddle your knick-knacks elsewhere.
>>767337497
I'm not going to shoot lightning at you if that's what you mean. You're on shaky ground with this voodoo stuff, though. Magic doesn't tend to work out so great when I'm not the one doing it.
>>767337718
I don't know why he'd want to. I've pretty much filled the place with water and sunlight and all sorts of shit he's not into.
