Hey /b/ I need some advice
I've been dating this girl for a while now and things were decent but have gotten pretty bad recently. I used to go out with friends, had a job, tried new things, etc but since we've started dating I've become a shut in. She can't be alone without me due to anxiety attacks and consumes all of my time. I have aspirations to do things and have interests/hobbies but she does not and just cries about how shitty and uninteresting she is. This perpetuates my own mental illness/suicidal tendencies and occupies a large amount of my mental space (constant worry if shes alright/feeling okay/entertained). I think the obvious is that this is a toxic relationship yet my biggest issue is that she loves/cares about me tremendously(unhealthily). Do i leave her out to die to better myself or do I stick around with hopes of us both getting better mentally.
>>767323878
You came to 4chan, let alone, b for relationship advice? Are you actually retarded OP
>>767323878
She will destroy your life. Run away from her and let her die like the piece of shit she is.
>>767324022
idk i think the brutal honesty is insightful, has helped in the past
>>767324022
Newfag.
People have been requesting relationship advice on here since the dawn of /b/
Op is still a retard though for needing advice.
>>767323878
You can't fix her. She has to do that and probably with some pro help.
Get away and do it now. She's eating up time that you'll never be able to get back.
>>767324208
>newfag
>>767324171
ya you right, i just feel bad though because she has like only 2 friends who are shitheads and has next to no social skills.
>>767324208
am i retard because its that obvious? or just because im asking /b/ for advice
>>767323878
leave her
>>767324468
Cause you're asking b for help.
>>767323878
First, get her into couples therapy, to get her ok with talking about herself. Maybe help her work out or do physical activity (helps with self esteem). Second, start having her do sessions alone, if she has an anxiety attack then she isn't ready to be alone, maybe have her talk to you to the phone (like with a Bluetooth) during them or when you go out so she can at least talk to you. That's all I got, try it out it can't hurt her.
>>767324362
That's the thing, she just started getting pro help, feels bad because it feels like I'd be leaving without giving her a chance to change.
>>767324468
OP you are not retarded, we care for you and we love you.....well at least it do. Leave her if you think that's best for you, forget about her. Delete her from all your contacts so she can't reach you and live the life you want.
>>767324208
ask relationship advices on b/ still is one of the most retard things you can do as fucking loser
whatever you do make sure you leave her
>>767324819
>>767324819
Thank my man, I know some of you guys aren't complete sociopaths and will help their /b/rothers out.
>>767324851
honestly i came here to here opinions more than advice. All of my friends just say do what makes you happy, what feels right, some other gay shit. It helps to get a shove in the right direction by hearing random peoples thoughts without knowing anything about me or the other person
>>767325146
Yo look at this one, it has some good (but costly) ideas
>>767324605
>>767325146
so why don't u ask your friends? they know you more than any other b/tard
>>767325443
I'm insulted
>>767325583
sorry man, I didn't mean that
>>767325818
Kidding my man
>>767324605
I don't really have the funds for this but also I find that it gives me anxiety knowing that I always have to be available just in case she starts freaking out.
>>767325443
I've definitely talked to them about it, I just thought I'd see what /b/ has to say before I make my decision
>>767323878
I'll bait
Did you try to tell her? I mean you can dump her anytime right? So at least tell her, if she don't want to change then dump her and move on. Shes basically your life's coop second player and you decide who you want it to be
OP here,
What do I do if I know she will commit self harm/attempt suicide if I do end things. She was a frequent cutter and has had suicidal tendencies in the past. I know I couldn't live with myself if she killed herself afterwards.
>>767325909
Then get some cheap Bluetooth's, even headphones with a speaker would work. And maybe have her do push ups or simple activities, they won't cost you a dime
>>767323878
>Do i leave her out to die
for your own sake, yes.
>>767326058
Break her hands so she wouldn't commit suicide. Easy....
>>767324468
Obviously retarded. Good luck with that girl though
>>767325982
I know she wants to change but it hasn't changed much in the past 4 months since we've talked about it. We have had a lot of conversations about it (conversations being me saying she needs to change while she just cries and says yes) but nothing seems to be happening. I'd say the hardest part about this is that I know the situation is shitty but she really wants to be the best she can be for me and the process is destroying me.
>>767323878
Which one is photo is photoshopped
>>767326232
Have you asked her what her anxious, like try to have her rationalize it for herself
>>767326232
Self victimisation is a disease. Fuck her hardest you can and fucking dump her or tell her that she's not trying enough and it's killing you inside like a tumor and you can't handle it anymore If she won't change faster after that just move on because sometimes people just don't change man
>don't break up with her Anon, if she loves you.
Hold on to her, just try and make time for you to do stuff. And take her out with you sometimes.
Tell her if she doesn't it will break your heart seeing her like that, and that you love her.
>>767326479
That's a little harsh, even for /b/
>>767326446
Some doctors have said it may be generalized anxiety disorder but IMO i think its closer to OCD because she just thinks about death non stop looking up shit for hours and thinking she has different diseases.