riskiest thing you've ever done?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
riskiest thing you've ever done?
Spying on my old boss. Would stand in the woods outside her house and jerk off while I watched her through binoculars as she got ready for bed. The cops drove through the neighborhood a couple of times on patrol and I remember my heart dropping into my stomach when they flashed their searchlight in my direction. I also think she realized someone was watching her once though I don't think she knew it was me, I just remember her standing at the window in her bra and panties squinting outside. My dick could've crushed diamonds.
>>752766635
Respond to this thread
moved a oz of gear (meth) across Australia in a shitty Hyundai excel
>>752767128
>my dick could've crushed diamonds
fucking lost it
>>752767184
pretty risky calm down
>>752767128
pics of boss
>>752767128
How were you caught up if you were in a relatively safe location away from her?
>>752766635
Randomly smashed the window of some mercedez with a railway spike looking for money and got like 20 bucks and a gun.
Don't know why I did it. I just had a spike I picked up when I was walking along some tracks earlier.
Never heard anything about it, still have the gun.
>>752767375
you got it soldier
>>752767623
Good Luck
>>752767615
Ate? Fuck, had to read that like six times to figure out what the fuck you said.
>>752766635
My girlfriend sucked my dick in the back of her family's van while we drove back from her grandma's house. Her parents in the front, brother and sister in the middle, us in the back. Was at night; nobody noticed. Unfortunately, I didn't nut.
>>752766635
Drunk af, jumped over my neighbors fence once. Went to her back door, tried to open it. It was locked. Went to window to peep. Couldn't see anything.
>>752766635
I let a high school girl use my house to fuck guys. I was only like 12 years older than her though. She would fuck guys on my bed a few times a week, and sometimes let me watch if I hid in the closet. I recorded every session with a hidden camera even when she didn't want me to watch, basically making child porn in the eyes of the law even though she was 15 at her youngest. She was so damn hot though I couldn't pass it up even if she wouldn't fuck me. I had the balls to ask for her panties after a while, so she would casually leave a dirty pair behind when she went back to school. Even more risky than app that, she told me once near the end, if I ate her out I could fuck her. She was 16 and technically legal in my state at that time, but videos and pics aren't. She had just fucked some senior and he left, and I didn't know he nutted inside her until I tasted it, but I kept going and once I pushed through, it was the best sex of my life. She never let me again though, and once she was 17 she stopped coming around. She was a pretty big slut though and probably fucked 20 different guys in my bed alone over lunch and study hall over two years. I got tested afterward because I got scared later, but I was STD free.
>>752766635
Used to put a spy cam in my mom's room every morning after she got in the shower. Would jerk off to her drying off and putting lotion on. Surprised she never saw it. Man she had an amazing body up until she turned 60
>>752766635
masturbating while maid came and cleaned our house. Pretended not to hear her knock and come into my room. She was some old lady but i was a horny 14 year old!
Anybody do anything similar?
>>752768064
Hahaha haha hahaha
Hahaha haha
Hahaha
Ha
Hahahah
>>752766635
Worked at a nursing home Foto a year. Some old gay dude was living there and always started talking about sex everytime i enter His room. Asked me to show him my dick for Money. He have me 20 bucks and jerked my dick ...sucked him off for money for half a year after that without the others noticing.
>>752768221
It all worked out, several things could have gone wrong and fucked me for life but nothing bad happened
>>752766635
I trashed this assholes jaguar in the school parking lot. This was like twelve years ago. Principal got on the morning announcements and asked for information
>>752768370
20 dollars? Even if I was gay...wtf. I wouldn't even fuck an ugly girl for 500
>>752768370
OP said riskiest not gayiest.
>sold opiates in high school
>sold adderall in college
>Stayed up all night on acid and tried to drive 2.5 hrs the next day and crashed my car on the highway with acid still on me
>lots of unprotected sex
>drunkenly set shit on fire in front of my dorm sophomore year
I think those are the big ones but idk I was always doing really stupid shit for no reason until I turned 23 pretty much. Now I'm about to be 24 and i'm making 60k USD fuck yeah we made it boys
>>752766635
Fucked my best friend's fiance while he was passed out drunk on the couch beside us.
I have never taken a breathylyzer (sp?) but I drove way too drunk in college. It's just such an asshole thing to do, you could so easily kill someone else, and for no reason other than "This party is boring I'm going somewhere else".
>>752768718
I’ve drove on acid twice and haven’t crashed. The first time I drive I was peaking and a fucking car came down the wrong way in the highway. I thought I was tripping but everyone else freaked out as well.
>>752766635
Run below a cliff with clear signs that it was gonna crumble while hiking.
Shit fell just minutes after, several tons of stone.
>>752767375
Sorry, can't risk it. Just imagine early-80s Sigourney Weaver with perky tits and an incredible ass, closest comparison I can make.
>>752767478
OP asked for risky, even though I never got caught there were times where a cop car was forty yards away shining a light in my general direction while I was halfway up a tree with my pants off and my dick in my hand. Close enough. I did also break into her house once while she was at work and took a bra and a pair of underwear so I could smell her cunt and know her cup size (34B). I jerked off with her panties wrapped around my cock for months.
0.25g meth, 1bottle of vodka, 50mg oxycodone
came on this fucking site swearing id eat shit if there was even on worth while post. to be fair it wasnt a big risk, but a risk none the less.
>>752768923
>Sigourney Weaver
kinda like this?
>80s Sigourney weaver
Keep that ugly shit away from ist you sick fuck
>>752768718
Is it me or is 60k USD a very low amount? I am europoor and I make that in Euros.
"lets get drunk and have sex"
words i said to my friend who then became my girlfriend. worked out alright. knew them for about a month before
>>752769248
fuck yourself nigger
In 6th grade I used my jacket as a little tent and started gently jerking it in class. I didn't nut or anything, and I only did it for maybe a minute of two. Also in that year me and this girl got into an argument and I went in to shove her shoulder but I accidentally pushed her boob. She said she was going to get her lawyer dad on my ass but nothing ever became of it.
>>752769365
It's higher middle class in America
Fall in love
>several years ago
>gf is topless, sucking me off on Chatroulette
>12-14 year old boy suddenly appears onscreen
>gf freezes
>can see adults watching TV in the room behind him
>I start trying to put my dick away and reach for the computer
>gf holds my legs down and slowly gets back to work
>protest a little at first, but she puts on her most enthusiastic show ever
>lifts her tits up so he can see them and jerks me off with them
>kid watches like he's looking into the face of god
>bust huge nut in her mouth
>gf waves and gets up to change into her pajamas
>kid types "thank you"
>type back "no prob"
>close out
>adults behind him never so much as looked over
>>752769856
>>>752769365
>It's h̶i̶g̶h̶e̶r̶ lower middle class in America
fixed it for you. if you really think $60k is upper middle class you must think I'm fucking rich as fuck.
>>752767581
America? And where was it hidden in the car?
>>752770245
Damn. That's a nice gesture. Respect.
>>752769126
>>752769248
Okay, So I guess my descriptive skills aren't that great. Just facebook stalked her and put a couple of her photos through a "what celebrity do I look like" site. This is the chick that came up the most followed by Janet Varney (she played Korra).
>>752768164
When i was 17 we also had a maid that would come to our house. That summer I started smokinf weed regularly and would go to bed naked and just pass out. Every morning I would wake up with a raging boner. So one morning I am sleeping naked with my dick on full display when she came into my room. She must have stood there for a couple of secs and after that left. I woke up because she closed the door a little to loud. After that the idea of exposing myself to her really turned me on so I would set up situations where she would catch me sleeping naked or straight up jacking off. Everytime she came in while i was masturbating and stared at my cock Ibwould cum buckets infront of her. I also left my cum for her to clean up.
i boned my sister dont tell anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>752769856
how old/what job?
>>752767304
i believe you
>>752767953
>Unfortunately, I didn't nut.
this is understandable
>>752770245
a man of the people
>>752768064
So... Uh... Your a cuck? I've been fucking the same bitch since I was 14. I'm 32 now motherfuckers
>Riding bike
>No helmet
![eee[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/4NssLs6.gif "eee[1].gif")
>slowly fapped in my chair while my neighbours kids were watching from my garden
>>752768611
Ugly chick for 500... Well... She doesn't have an STD so I'd accept. May as well, it's 500 bucks man. I get where you were going though
>>752768837
Dick move though
i stepped on a crack when i was 5
>>752766635
I went back to school to try something completely different that I had no experience with
... that was eight years ago, I'm working on finishing my PhD now.
>>752771315
Why were your neighbor's kids in your garden?
>>752766635
Lmao Elliott hulse
I went joyriding when I was 15, some beater ass Chevy that had the keys still in it
>>752770824
I dunno reminds me of someone else entirely tbh
>2008
>be in Oklahoma in car with people I just met, riding shotgun to liquor store
>driver says take the wheel
>wut.gif
>he took both hands off the wheel and started to roll a joint on the freeway
>I steer car down busy freeway one handed while this guys getting high and I have no idea where we going, everyone in back seat is perfectly ok with this
>pokerface.png
>>752766635
>riskiest thing you've ever done?
i posted in a cp thread just to check some dubs
also:
>>752768611
>>752769122
>>752769522
>>752770800
>>752770844
>>752770888
>>752771299
>>752771500
>>752771633
checked
Drove a rental car ( Mercedes C63 AMG) around 290 km/h down a narrow country road while it was raining during night. Could feel the entire car dancing over the road surface.
>>752771738
nice dubs yourself there pedobear
>>752770609
Depends on where you live. Where I am, it's closer to upper class if you're not supporting three other people. In a town pike Denver, you're pretty poor even on your own
I once changed lanes without signalling.
>>752771810
holyfawk
nah, actually you didn't, that's like 170 mph. not buying it faggot. go LARP somewhere else.
>take sleeping meds in the early morning to try and reverse sleeping schedule to work 3rd shift
>i thought they would make me sleep all day so I could stay up all night
>nope
>at about 3pm I woke up in a lake
>under the fucking water
>i am wearing swimming goggles and fucking flippers and shit
>where the fuck am i
>I surface and look around thinking this is a dream
>there's people all around me swimming like any normal day
>my friend swims up to me
>he asks if I'm still tripping
>wtf no this wasn't supposed to happen
>black out again
>next thing I remember is my friend driving me home, and something that looked like a blooper from super mario was on the side of the road
>i told my friend to pull over to see if it was hurt
>it was just a guy on a bicycle wearing a white tshirt
>>752771866
>>>752770609 (You)
>Depends on where you live.
"By that formulation, the upper middle class might be the fourth-highest income quintile—the one above the middle but below the wealthiest. Those households range from $74,875 to $121,017 in income, nationally.
But of course the relative strength of your income depends largely on where you live. In New England, the Census Bureau says, median income jumps to $70,077. In the central southeast states, it falls to $47,356. That means an upper-middle-class salary in the Tennessee might barely qualify for middle class in Massachusetts."
>>752771918
I got no proof but I did.
Those cars don't take long to reach those speeds, I nearly shat my self before slowing down.
>>752771918
wtf dude my moms minivan can reach 120
>>752767304
Just one oz
>>752766635 Transporting weed by air in my shoe from Montenegro to Russia.
>>752772054
That's pretty obvious to everyone. I live in NYC and 60k doesn't get you shit.
>>752772112
you nearly died. you couldn't stop for a single thing. you wouldn't be able to take a turn.
yah, not buying it. now tell us about the time you fucked your hot aunt because she seduced you when she was drunk
>>752772031
roll up for the magical mystery tour
>>752771918
Not him but 170+ isn't difficult in any modern high performance car. Everything is computer controlled these days, just put your food down and hold on.
My friend and I rented a Gallardo in Italy when we were there on vacation, god dam the speeds you can reach within seconds.
Like entering a short tunnel doing 50, exiting doing 150. No problems at all. Until the cops are up your ass.
![People_Different_people_Circulation_on_roofs_028863_[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/CrFcnPJ.jpg "People_Different_people_Circulation_on_roofs_028863_[1].jpg")
After Hurricane Isabel, my friend and I were paid to repair roofing for some condominiums in SC. We were 4 stories up. We didn't use any safety equipment.
>>752772268
>you wouldn't be able to take a turn
Didn't need to considering it's long straights.
>>752768370
You gave up your dick to an old dude for $20.
Fuck your cheap cunt.
>>752771918
Idiot in my town did 172 straight down the main street in his 1000hp Corvette a couple years ago.
Luckily he ended up in jail..
>>752772178
>>>752771918 (You)
>wtf dude my moms minivan can reach 120
reaching 120 is different than DRIVING 180 mph on twisty country roads while drunk. you have no fucking idea how fast shit comes at you at 180 mph.
recapping: yeah, I believe the car can do it. no, I don't believe anon did it on country roads while drunk. anon would be posting from hell if she did.
>>752766635
fucked in a cemetery and pulled out barely in itime and was underage
>worked front desk of motel
>watched porn at work
>I'd let a boy that lived at the motel watch occasionally, also
>we would sometimes fap
Stealing panties.
My head was rushing so much it felt like it could explode. The jerk off sessions with it were legendary.
>>752766635
Last sociology class i said "I think segregation is beneficial to black people".
>>752771843
New fag fucking detected
Either starting up a nuclear reactor shit faced drunk, or facing down six black guys with a gun that only had seven rounds in it.
>>752772573
>twisty country roads while drunk
Not a single corner on that road.
I was sober.
Stop making shit up retard.
>girlfriend brings over friend who is thick af
>I cannot control my dick
>her friend gets up to use my bathroom one night
>sneak out into the hallway and look through the crack between the door hinges
>all I can see is the toilet and her huge, amazing butt
>a turd drops out of it and into the toilet
>my dick becomes harder than quark-gluon plasma
>>752772031
Nice... sleeping pills??
>>752773074
Bullshit
i lived for one year in a ghetto of niggers. I'm white.
>>752772777
Moseby?
>>752772922
nice newfag yourself faggot
>>752773186
okay I didn't actually see the turd, but I sure did hear it.
>>752768874
probably was you on the wrong side you fuckin dope
>>752772777
I didn't know kevin spacey worked in a motel
A few bad decisions over the years, but this is entertaining.
Age 18, losing weight, dieting/exercise. Have first beer in a month on an empty stomach. Fall asleep. Sleep/dream/wake and put on running shoes and head out. Naked. Get about a mile out in the predawn, nice summer, realize how dumb and dangerous it is. Figure: keep going, I'll be fine. Too dark, etc. 5 miles. Nearing the end, dawn, get back inside just in time.
>>752770245
She's a keeper.
Choked out a runaway diesel with my shirt.
Stomped a rattle snake to death with my sandals.
Shot a rifle I knew was blocked, blew the barrel.
Jumped my truck over a 40 ft deep ditch.
Shot steel plates with full metal jacket ammo from 10ft away.
Drank 90% moonshine while smoking.
Live in redneck trailer park with a "I hate chevy" sticker on my Dodge.
>>752771810
you me anon? did it with a friends RS4 .. just an amazing feeling having no limits in beautiful germany
Finger best mate's younger sister in their hallway on her birthday, literally anyone could come in from either the living room or peek through the front door window. There would've been no way I could get my hand out of her pants that quick.
>>752773579
Cletus..
>>752773579
fuckin A
Three days ago I ended a 2 1/2 yr affair with a co-worker who is:
A) An attention whore
B) Been in a mental ward twice during this time
C) A total fucking slut (admitted to fucking over 150 dudes. (Yes I had unprotected sex with this whore).
D) She is super jealous of my wife and was angry I didn't choose to leave her.
And the most risky
D) Still ended it after she begged me not to.
>>752768683
>>752773523
Lmao it wasn’t me. my ex and brother were in the car we all watched this guy drive past us going the wrong way.
Took virginity of strictly religious girl while her family was home, got caught by her sister but she decided not to tell. They would've killed me. I also nutted in her.
>>752771219
Congratulations - Post Malone
>>752771843
Fuck off faggot, kys
>>752772922
Checked
>>752772922
Only newfags call newfags newfags, newfag
>>752773785
it's not over yet.
>>752766635
cuck someone who could kick my ass. ended up being a bitch-made faggoon son
>>752773308
20 minutes and no chekd im so sorry anon
>>752777777
What do we even call a 6 even digit number?
>>752766635
call my dad's bluff when he stepped in front of my speeding car to stop me from buying drugs. he stepped out of the way before getting hit. regret.
I robbed a girl and stole her purse, earrings, and wedding ring. I was wearing a scarf around my neck so she couldn't see who I was.
Dropped 2 tabs if acid. Chilling at my place listening to music and get bored decide to drive around. Almost crash my car, forget where I was going and just drive around listening to the radio. Everything the dj said sounded so perfect. Eventually realised I'm still driving my car around. Feeling horny. Decide to look for hookers. Pay her extra to suck and fuck without a condom. Go home pass out. Got a blood test done. Came up clean. Thank fuck probably the dumbest shit I've done in my life
>>752774543
"I do not recognize that neck, officer"
>>752773579
No, you didn't do any of this. Life is not a movie, and if you had that bumper sticker on your Dodge, obviously no one gave a shit.
>>752767953
O sucked my boyfriend dick in the back of the van. That's not the most risky thing, the most risky is he still thinks I'm a girl. I think he might be on to me, seeing as I still have not made him nut.
I regularly make and use H.E. for entertainment purposes
navy guy used to live next door to me... fucked his fiance for 4 months while he was deployed
>>752774662
I see you never been south..
You can literally go on Youtube, search any of that and get 1000+ results.
Rednecks are fucking crazy
>should know, I live in fucking Alabama
>>752774722
No, you don't.
i once killed a black mamba with a stick, fuckin most terrifying shit
>>752770641
probably under the seat like most retards do
I once drank milk past the date on the carton.
>>752774815
I have lived in Alabama, Florida, North and South Carolina. Currently in Virginia, and no retards around here do any of that shit.
I go into threads on /b/ and tell people they haven't done what they say they did because I'm a little faggot.
>>752774819
You're right
>>752774886
Wow. Sounds like you're speaking from experience.
>>752769122
Sauce now
>>752770828
Sad anon sad..
>>752773785
I hope you don't have any pet rabbits.
>>752773579
>Live in redneck trailer park
what are the odds?
>>752773750
>>>752773579
>fuckin A
I got my dick sucked in my ex's kitchen and actually got caught by her mother. Also, I got my dick sucked in the back of her mom's van while her family was in the grocery store. Didn't get caught that time.
Oh shit I almost forgot. While I was sitting at the dinner table and she was standing next to me I put my hand up her skirt and fingered her while everyone was there. I was pretty ballsy back then I guess.
multiple blind tranny hookups off of craigslist. never gotten robbed or beaten or anything bad, but I think I've gotten lucky
>>752775140
Jokes on you, I don't vote.
>>752766635
allegedly committed multiple felonies to obtain narcotics by fraud.
(ended up getting shit together, been sober for a long fucking time, never did hard time. the end)
>>752773616
I remember when I was 15
For no other reason other than being drunk, I saw a car in my college's parking lot with a ticket on the windshield, ran up, and snatched it. I laughed my ass off when the ticket was given to someone with my same last name.
>>752775171
pic of ex?
I met up with my ex girlfriend's mom because she came on to me. Fucked her. Ex called me super pissed. I told her to move out so I could fuck in their house.
>>752775226
oh boy, you got me. what a win for you.
>>752766635
>Be me, 16
>Hanging out with shitty friends
>They just want to shoulder tap to buy liquor
>We buy liquor
>See a few bummy kids from the neighborhood
>They offer us weed
>We smoke and drink brokers whiskey behind a plaid pantry
>Have a bunch of illegal fireworks in my backpack
>am mad that we skipped a trip to the river to get fucked up
>We go into a crack house near there because one of the dumb kids knew a bum who lived there
>Bums in the abandoned house are pretty chill, I give them weed and they roll decent joints
>Grab out the mortars from my backpack, start talking shit
>Bums and friends are shouting do it
>Light off two mortars at once, throw them
>blow two large holes in the rotten carpet on the other end of the room
>Bums start laughing and hollering
>punching holes in the wall and ripping down the remaining light fixtures in the ceiling
>We all climb out a window onto the roof and light off all the fireworks
Got arrested later that night but for something entirely different.
>>752774933
>>752775307
>I met up with my ex girlfriend's mom because she came on to me. Fucked her. Ex called me super pissed. I told her to move out so I could fuck in their house.
State: Kentucky
Ex girlfriend: his sister
Ex girlfriend's mother: his mother
>>752766635
buttfucked my 7 year old cousin in the room next to our grandma everyday for like, 2 years. started when I was about 12. Sucked her pussy every time too before pounding her butt. We got caught. she got blamed because she was already a "trouble" kid. kek
Came in her butt three times. It ruled but she said it "felt weird", so I came on her back instead.
I tried to play with my half sisters nipples while we was asleep in bed while her boyfriend was playing WoW. She woke up, confused. She had really perky gumdrop nips.
Also passed out on ambien and xanax with her dress on and no panties spread eagle. Pussy was beautiful, used to have a pic of it. Also had a video of her masturbating. Also lost that as well :( makes me sad.
>>752775411
shut up faggot
>>752768064
pic of the slut?
>>752775460
confirmed
>>752769522
pic of gf?
>>752770245
pic of gf?
Took a piss on a cop car during midsummer.
>>752773785
pic of the whore?
>>752775436
Incest is best. even if we're adults now, I still think back to humping my cousin. It ruled. All that free ass, and all I had to do was lock the door. lol
>>752775568
how'd that work out for you? oh wait. eurofag. cop probably thanked you for it.
>try that in America you faggot
>>752774772
pic of fiance?
>>752773579
When people do anything with rattlesnakes makes my asshole pucker. Normal ppl dont understand how bad that hemotoxin is
>>752774772
Why are the majority of military wives fucking useless whores?
>>752775721
>>>752774772
>Why are the majority of military wives fucking useless whores?
"she" is a he, btw
>>752768579
story?
>>752769365
Our taxes are lower. Universal healthcare fucks you guys.
>>752775663
>be american
>get shot while peeing
Real jealous.
Went out with my cousin and her friend while in our early twenties. Her friend was super fucking hot and didn't realize it which made her more hot. Somebody slipped something in her drink at the bar and we realized when she started acting odd...split and went back to my cousin's dorm. I was pretty drunk but okay. Cousin came in the room with the friend and told me..."she is out of it." They crawl into bed together, I threw some blankets on the floor by the bed to lay on. I immediately, my hand goes under the covers and I start rubbing the friends leg. no response, play with tits, nothing...put hand in her pants...play with pussy. she never moves, she is out. cousin is laying right beside her and says nothing. drunken brain says...you need to stop before things really get out of hand. pass out. next morning, friend wakes up and is asking questions about the night. she asks if i had help take care of her. My cousin responds "yeah, he took care of you."
>>752775693
>>>752773579
>When people do anything with rattlesnakes makes my asshole pucker. Normal ppl dont understand how bad that hemotoxin is
>>752769365
A very low amount? Are you that ignorant of the rest of the world?
>>752775721
the few i know only married because they got knocked up, not because they actually loved the guy or anything
>"he's good enough, i guess... plus all those military benefits... plus he's like gone half the year LOL"
>>752775963
>My cousin responds "yeah, he took care of you."
kek
you could fuck that cousin. she took care of you
In elementary school I sat next to this busty mexican chick. I would slowly move my hand up her skirt without actually touching her. Every now and then I eventually touch the inside of her thigh. She would freak out and then I'd quickly move my hand away and pretend nothing happened. I think she told people. Never ruined my reputation I guess since I was still in the "cool" group and no one brought it up.
I'l sometimes mix diet coke with diet pepsi at the fountain machine
>sleeping at my gf house
>her niece (11 years old then) was sleeping with us too
>she came and sleep on the bed with us
>no big deal
>i was between my gf and her
>at night i woke up to hands on my dick
>figured out in my sleep that it must have been my gf so i started grabbing her ass
>something was off cause i thought my gf was on the other side
>realise that it was her niece that was grabbing my dick and i was grabbing her ass
>dick went on destroy mode hard
>started rubbing her pussy
>noticable loud breathings from her
>i freaked out that my gf will hear her
>stopped everything immediately
>dick harder than ever and i wanted to cum
>turn on my side and put my dick between her legs and grabbing my dickhead from behind her ass
>came all over between her legs
>next day she acted like nothing happened
I ate McDonald's.
>>752775858
I was skipping class with some chick getting stoned. He was a bully and I was a pussy. So instead of confronting him I put Cheetos on his windshield and poured mountain dew all over them so they got goopy and gross. Then I pried open his gas tank and pissed in it. Poured the last of the dew in it as well. Kicked both mirrors off and popped all four tires. Not exactly proud of this, but it is what it is. We fucked off to a park and laughed about it.
>>752771315
autism
>>752775721
Most military guys are dumbasses. That's why they chose that path. So of course they marry dumbass chicks. They're just jocky idiots.
>>752775411
Southern california. People fuck moms. Don't be mad because weird and interesting shit doesn't happen to you.
>>752766635
I met a underage girl i catfished at her house.
Im lucky chris hanson wasn't there or her family.
>>752776444
trips confirm
Said I fucked someones mom in Call of Duty.
>>752772911
Jesus Christ, dude.
Went walking the wrong way on a highway at night with my eyes shut and headphones on blasting.
i watch half-naked girls on youtube while at work
I met a guy on CL for a "rape roleplay". I was 16 and still a virgin. He's now my bf.
>>752774913
>based anon is based
>>752774913
>THE BALLS ON THIS MOTHER FUCKER
I went hiking up to mt baldy alone in the snow and never been in the snow in my life and had no safety knowledge or safety gear.
Made it up to the peak, but by then the afternoon sun was melting the ice. Coming down on devils backbone the ground/ice beneath me broke off and took me with it. Luckily i wasnt severly hurt but my face and glasses were busted and my leg fucked up. I hobbled my way down the mountain holding 1 lens to my eye. Took 8 hours to get down.
I had sex in the missionary position simply for the purpose of procreation.
I once assembled a $2000 desktop without an anti-static wristband.
Farted in public while having diarrhea.
>>752777278
You sick sadistic fuck.
went to visit parents in south america. surprised when i arrive at their house and they have a maid. she's in her 20s, slim, cute face. she had smallish boobs, but a very nice ass. i would try to hang out in the kitchen (where she usually was) to see her ass.
she works from 8 to 5 and is usually lazy. i jokingly tell her she's so lazy (she didn't fucking work at all) and she says please don't tell my parents. i joke around with her that i will unless she does something for me, and that's when she started to play along with me.
after a bit more of flirting she's calling me "mister" and saying she wants me to inspect how she cleans the room. we go to the bedroom and she starts cleaning, showing me her ass and asks me if i need her to do anything special for me. i'm a bit nervous my parents are going to come back to the house, but i also really need to fuck this maid. i tell her to come over here to me and to sit on the bed. she's sitting on the bed and i'm standing facing her. she fucking says "you have something on your pants mister" and puts her hand on my crotch area.
that's it. i tell her she's going to have to clean it. and she says "of course mister". she then licks and cleans off my sweaty dick (it was a long day) and gives me one of the best BJs i've had in my life. after that we fucked whenever we were alone.
thankfully she was fired because she was too lazy.
In vegas I ran out of a carrot top show because I had to piss badly. I was very drunk. I couldn't find a restroom so I just pissed in a corner. I took an uber to my hotel and was worried the guy would notice. He didn't.
> Gambling online, playing sizzling hot and book of ra
> loose about 1800€
> loose again
> transfer last fucking 100 bucks, bank account at -1500
> rental fee comes in 5 days
> go to sizzling hot
> increase bet from 1€ to 20€ per spin
> black out
> when I'm done, I see 2800€
> pay out as fucking fast as possible
> feel numb af
Stay away from gambling
>>752774548
of course your STD test will come up clean if you test right away. you need to wait several weeks to get results on your blood work. there's a window period of incubation for STDs. you should probably get re-tested dude.
When my 13yo cousin came over for a week, i started taking pics and vids of her. She had great legs and soles. I ended up sniffing her used panties and holy fuck they smelled good.
I wanted more so i setup a few cams to record her in the bathroom and bedroom. Amazing body with big nipples. I started cumming in her food.
>>752774662
Meant face srry
>>752776444
Trips of Truth, I fear
Sneaked into a party in my area, got wasted as fuck on expensive whisky, stole a PS3 and a couple games and sneaked back out.
I drove myself home while tripping on shrooms for the first time around 4am(was followed by a cop for 5 mins)
I in a unisex changing room, but there were stalls. The stall next to mine had a little girl younger than me, changing her clothes, and I saw the whole thing through a gap in the wall.
>>752777871
coon
>>752769365
Depends on where in live in the US. If you live in New York or California, you're pretty much homeless on that money. If you live in the south, you can live like a king.
>>752778208
Go on...
Fucked my drunk sister when she came home from a party, didnt help that my parents were home at the time so i had to kiss her to keep her quiet
>>752778208
Stop. No moar pl0x
I watched my loser son fuck my drunk daughter after she came home from a party. He was even kissing her on the mouth. I had to throw up after I finished fapping.
Took a shit in the back of a night bus.
Masturbated in the girls locker room in highschool.
I fucked my mom after fucking my drunk sister after she came home from a party. My parents were home but my dad wasn't in his room.
>When I was like 12 I heard that you can get super high by consuming a lot of nutmeg
>I did it, waited for the 6 hours
>During the 6 hours, find out the amount I had taken was potentially lethal on the internet
>I lost my shit quietly
>I tripped balls that night
>Didn’t die
>Didn’t even feel sick the next morning
>Worth it
>>752772973
Stop carrying a 1911 you retarded. .45 isn't worth it, the difference between 9mm is either nothing or negligible depending on the study.
I cheated on my girlfriend with my best friends girlfriend in the same bed we all 4 were sleeping. It was really fucking hot! Would do again/5.
I masturbated through my shorts in class by rubbing my cock in the third grade. I was careful not to moan, and not to look suspicious. I was too young to ejaculate, so there was nothing to clean up in my pants. Did it a couple times a week. Sometimes I discreetly stared at cute girls in my class while doing it. I never got caught somehow.
I guess I had an abnormally high sex drive for a 9 year old.
>>752778499
Jesus christ
>>752770245
God damn would've made my year at that age
>>752766635
Mixed my precum in my female flatmate's lube bottle that I found in her nightstand while snooping around looking for panties to fap to.
Had a party. Wife's(ex now) sister was there. Everyone gets drunk. Some friends make advances to wifes sister. Weirds her out. Wife went to bed. We all continue to drink. Sister in law asks to sleep in our room because she feels uncomfortable. Go to bed. Whole climbing in bed we wake up wife. She is hungry. Want a a bay of popcorn. Goes to the kitchen. As soon as she shuts the door sister in law slides down under the covers and starts sucking my dick. Hear the microwave go off. She stops acts like she is asleep. Wife comes in and I pass out. This went on for months eventually leading to me fucking the sister in law...alot. tightest pussy I have smashed. Wife ended up knocked up by someone else. We agreed we shouldn't be married went separate ways. Stopped fucking the sister in law and now wealthy and lonely lol
>>752766635
Creampied my GF's 14 y/o niece multiple times, even while the GF was sleeping in the other room. She would never wash it out, just pull her panties on. We'd be eating dinner together and her niece was across the table from me sitting next to my GF and I would know that she had my cum inside of her, leaking into her panties.
Fingered said 14 y/o niece while watching a movie with GF, all under the same blanket. Left hand playing with GF, right hand playing with her niece.
>>752766635
post in this thread
>>752767987
kill yourself fag
>>752767184
Beat you to it by about three and a half hours bro
>>752779230
I chewed 5gum.
>>752777278
isn't that shit fucking illegal?
burnt some shit in the woods
jerked off while my sister was sleeping a foot away from me
I am not a man of risks
I chewed two pieces of 5gum... at the same time.
>>752779778
Jesus fucking christ.
I ran away when I was 16. It was pretty lit.
http://www.krdo.com/news/local-news/id-theft-suspect-16-accused-of-shimmying-down-side-of-hotel-with-rope-made-of-sheets-to-escape-arrest/34868533
>>752766635
raped a disabled girl
>>752778384
Her body was still pretty underdeveloped but still looked like it was maturing. I didn't jerk it, I just stayed still and watched. Eventually a woman I can only assume was her mother told her to hurry up so she left.
>Designated driver
>Drive 60 miles to party with full car
>All passengers shithoused by the time we get there
>See qt from eons ago
>End up in back bedroom
>Disgusting party house in the middle of nowhere
>Massive jar of random ecstasy pills on table
>Scoops out a fistful and casually says "don't leave with these"
>Finally get back to car
>Everyone but me is drunk
>Pull out bag of pills
>Everyone in the car takes at least five
>Speed like a maniac back to town to party with locals
>145mph see the berries on ramp in rear view
>Obviously failing sobriety test
>Halfway through ask statie to take breathalyzer
>Lol did gun b gud
>Walks away to write ticket for speeding fuming.gif
>Realize I still have 20 pills in my pocket from qt
>Attemptedmanslaughter.MP4
>Ticket for 30 over
>Drive insane baboons in car back to civilization
This was the most fun risky situation.
>>752781319
Can you tell us in English, now?
bump
driven drunk, driven high, driven whilst rollin on MDMA
took coke and MDMA and then continued to drink booze. didn't watch my fluid intake and kept sipping. got a real bad headache and vommed everywhere outside the club. I was okay...but scary to think about it now.
Met a girl on omegle, she lived close to me and she was 13 and i was 16/17 at the time, we ended up fucking multiple times at my place, sometimes we were home alone, other times i snuck her in with everyone home, no matter what i always pounded her bareback
>>752766635
Extremely Powerful Hallucingens
>>752766635
Extremely Powerful Farts
>>752782267
cum inside?
>>752769365
In Vancouver (Canada) the average detached house costs about $1.8 million USD. That's average - including the shit houses in the worst parts of the city. You want to live on the Westside, where everyone wants to live, the average detached house is going to be about $3.9 million USD.
You go out to buy 4 litres.1 gallon of nice organic grass-fed milk in Dunbar neighbourhood, it'll cost you $14.
So, it all depends where you live.
Labels like "upper" and "lower" mean nothing, it's all relative to where you live.
$60,000/yr could go a long way some places, you could be comfortable. Whereas, in a place like Vancouver you couldn't even survive. Just choose the right place.
>>752782399
When she was on the pill then yes, if not i´d pull out and nut on her ass and back
>>752766635
Tried hitting on a multi millionaires wife on Facebook.
>used to teach her daughter
>dad is short, fat guy.....and I really suspect he's gay.
>he takes regular trips to the phillipenes and I reckon he bangs young boys there.
>it was her 40th birthday or something so I sent her a private inbox
>she says thank you
>me: did you get any presents?
>her: yeah but it's a secret
Wtf? There's no need for her to say that. She must be flirting
>me: if I guess correctly will you tell me?
>her: okay
Well it's naughty enough to be a secret but not naughty enough that she won't tell me
>me: is it panties
>her: yes
>me: can you take a picture
>her: :O shock embarrassed emoji
Fuck my autism....I probably could have got somewhere if I'd kept my cool
>>752778499
Doran Thorne's dad?
>>752766635
touched my cousin's ass while she was sleeping she woke up but i just said i was here for newspaper and you were sleeping on top of it, got away with it, probably
>>752775212
is... is this legit?
>>752780176
How disabled? Paraplegic or retard?
>>752782006
No. Sorry I tried to translate.
>>752774543
who were you?
>>752782703
no it's a drama-queen base jumper. whole thing is a set up to his jump
>>752782584
if that's all that happened, and you think it ended, you're a beta idiot.
Shouted at a group of niggers over drugs and money
Result? Extreme niggerery and nignogs flipping over like hell was loose
>>752774543
lol dude either your face is on your neck or you have your name and address tattooed on it
Fucked my cousin and cum inside her. That was pretty risky.
>>752766635
Does anyone mind telling me where is that gif from? I remember LeafyIsHere did a video about that guy one time.
>>752782925
It's annoying man....I was going so well....what could I have done?
Any plans for next time?
About a year ago they hosted a massive party and one of my friends (French) was asked to mingle with some international guests. There were A list celebs and sports stars there.
She ended having a chat with Michelle Williams
I really can't believe I got as far as I did
She also used to flirt with my other friend but he left the country.
>>752783461
His name is Elliot Hulse, he has a Youtube channel and talks about a variety of things. I think that gifs from a "breathe from your balls" video.
>>752766635
When my friend, his wife, his daughter and I shared a hotel room, the daughter and I fucked on the floor (quietly) while he and his wife slept. Two years later, I came out as being bisexual and not gay. When I did, they got suspicious every time I was alone with daughter and got creeped out at how close we were.
I work IT and have admi access to tens of thousands of cpmputers. I routinely search different subnets for iclouddrive folders. So much win. I wont post for fear of getting doxxed.
>>752783461
>>752783541
What the hell is wrong with that dude? He's fucking batshit crazy. Does he have a mental issue or something?
https://youtu.be/nlABFsv72Lg
>>752775877
i dont pay many taxes since most of my income is in bitcoins and I'll move to another country before I cash it out
>>752783648
Coward. You work IT and you can't figure out a way to prevent that?
>>752783852
this. less of a coward but more of a huge faggot
I've been tax-evading for more than 10 years now. The more time passes, the greedier I get and more elaborate and risky everything becomes.
>>752766635
i was at a family party a few years ago and my moms best friend was there.
i was talking outside with her whilst my gf n family all inside the house.
she randomly starts to kiss me.
she heads back inside and a few hours later i go to the bathroom upstairs and she is in there sat on the toilet doing a bit of coke.
i was pretty drunk at this point so i started kissing her again and got really hard.
she noticed, grabbed my dick out, put some coke on the end of my dick and snorted it off.. then she started to suck me. was crazy because my gf n family didn't even realise we were gone.
>>752772031
Yeah don't be a dumb fuck and take a bunch of xannys. Anything more than 2mgs for most people is going to lead to a BAD blackout
Nobody gonna say anything to the fact that i blew countless nuts inside of a 13 year old who i met on omegle?
>>752782267
>>752784196
Pics or it didn't happen fgt
>>752784196
You said that you were 16/17 at that time, is that really such a big deal? GTFO underage newfag
>>752783852
Because I know /b/ comes up alot in our firewall logs. A few of you faggots work where I do and might recognize some of the management. Maybe after I leave.
>>752766635
>bust whilst looking her in the eyes
bust a nut because was looking her in the eyes
There, fixed it for ya'.
>>752775721
Because women aren't like men. They can't go months without sex.
>>752784190
>bust whilst looking her in the eyes
bust a nut because was looking her in the eyes
There, fixed it for ya'.
I accidentally posted this on the OP, was meant for you.
>Visited escorts
>Texted while driving
>Went to Baltimore
I jerk off on every train and buss i've ever been on.
>walk into swimming pool changing room
>see dad drop something into bin with little girl walking out with him
>walk over to bin, diaper of some sort
>changing room empty
>pick out diaper
>quickly move into toilet stall
>bury my face in diaper
>the faint scent of toddler pussy nearly makes me cum hands free
>being fuck diaper breathlessly like there's no tomorrow
No regrets.
>>752766635
>20 y.o. first tour of Iraq
>with 45 Commando
>Warrior full of my mates, driving to fob at night
>lit up by RPG's, driver puts his foot down
>small and large arms fire hitting the vehicle
>track gets fucked, Rupert and driver wounded
>other vehicles block us in so as to disembark and give cover
>door goes down, every fucker trying to hit us
>Sarge and Corp run outside and tell us to join them
>two of the other vehicles have their doors open to let us in
>TightFuckingSqueeze.jpeg
>I am fucking loving it, like playing as a kid
>ignore shouts from mates, stick my head up and start taking shots at the bastards
>maybe hit one, perhaps two, it's like a fucking game
>NoExtraLives.gif
>seems like forever, keep firing, RPG's reappear
>jump in the back of the nearest vehicle
>Corp spends most of the remaining journey punching me, the guys in this vehicle call me Rambo
>name sticks, get worlds biggest and longest bollocking from the Sarge
>takes me to the commanding Rupert, explains what I did
>Rupert asks what I thought I was doing
>Tell him that I was suppressing the enemy fire while we dis and re-embarked
>get mentioned in dispatches
>My mum still has my dispatch framed on her wall, if she only knew
>two bullet grazes on my helmet and three holes in my uniform
>not a scratch
>>752784500
You should start taking pictures and have a daily thread or at least post about it
>>752767304
nice pun
>>752784611
...then you turned off your Xbox, put COD back in it's game case...and went to bed
>>752784758
No mate, all real.
All this other shit on this thread is fantasy sexually repressed basement-dwelling yanks, but I did 14 years in 45.
>>752784672
like the guy in the hotel rooms that jerks it when mades come in to see if they join in (they walk straight out) except a gay dude that walked in and gave him a handjob/gobby/ ate cum. i cant find the webm tho
>>752784672
nah, I do it with my hand in my pocket, nothing shows unless I want it to show.
If there's almost no one on the buss/train I usually cum on the seat in front of me though.
>>752784852
maids*
sorry for the autism
>>752784847
yo mine was legit.
>>752782250
stupid, irresponsible, dangerous shit...look back on it with shame and fear.
>>752784852
I molest women or schoolgirls on trains whenever I get the chance.
It was happening quite recently a few months ago so I started regular threads
Then it dried up
![playing the odds [2MB].webm](/image/image-404.png "playing the odds [2MB].webm")
>>752784852
>>752766635
fuck a chinese slut in shanghai without condom. not only the most risky but also the dumbest and yet to hottest thing i ever did.
i never met my child
>got tested thoroughly at home, all fine.
