How do hu"men" even compete?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
How do hu"men" even compete?
>>752464895
Kek
>>752464895
At least I have a lifespan over 30 years.
>>752465197
>am horse
>break leg doing a jump
>farmer has to put me down because it'd cost more to repair me
>mfw
You know how all the sissys want to get chucked by blacks... I think we need to see if we can talk them into getting checked by horses/donkeys.
>>752464895
how do u guys fuck with such hideously deformed genitals? fuck off you filthy equestrian
horses are the master race, all humans will service their equine sex gods
>>752464895
Guys, it just dawned on me. If you were next to a stallion who wanted to fuck you; you're getting fucked, end of story. What are you going to do? Fight back? Run?
lol no, you'll do nothing. 600+ pounds of muscle running at you at 30 MPH with an 18 inch dick. Just accept it, you're the horse's bitch, you'd better hope it'll accept fellatio cause otherwise say goodbye to any functioning organ below your chest.
I wish my dog could get me pregnant
>>752466308
I've hip-tossed a 400lb man before. I'm sure a horse wont give me a problem, especially if I gab em by the dick
>>752466308
>hope it'll accept felatio
lmao wtf is it gonna go
"bitch naw that head aint doin it for me"
or would you just assume it wants up your ass after a while
>>752466648
>>752466648
horse is completely different body plan, one that's not unstable and randomly trips all the time, instead of throwing shit you'll be getting shit on
>>752465510
>>>>>>chucked<<<<<<<<
>>752464895
Horses last less than 3 minutes
>>752467359
But boy is it one hell of a three minutes.
>>752467359
that's all a horse needs to make a woman forget about primate bois forever
>>752467544
Not really, having sex with a horse has a really high chance of giving you internal bleeding.
Like having sex with a nigger has a really high chance of giving you an STD
>>752466441
is this loss
>>752467854
Sounds like someone's too scared to try Superior Cock.
There's a reason why so many women get addicted to horse peen
>>752467957
No this is
>>752467359
Estimating by equations
>the normal human dick size is 6-8 inch.
>horse dick size is 1ft-1.8ft
>Normal sex lasts about 30 minutes,comparing to human size
>Smaller dicks get much less time equivalently
>Getting fucked by a horse cock for 3 minutes is better than human sex with large dick for 25 minutes
>>752467039
>horse is completely different body plan
like a gorilla it's one that's completely incapable of dealing with something that's latched on to it's back with a grip on the neck, all you gotta do is put it in a sleeper hold
>>752467039
I've been around horses for a long time bud. I know how they work. In fact, I knew a farrier who threw a horse over on its side when it decided to try and kick him. As long as you know what you're doing, you can manhandle a horse bud.
>>752466308
i love that mamabliss story.
>>752468263
>>752466862
Actually I was 270 and 5'8" when I did it( 15% BF) and the dude just pissed me the fuck off that day. Now I'm 5'11" and a fat fuck tryin to slim down
>>752467788
it would be cool if I could find some vids of girls actually taking such a load (vaginally of course)
>>752468392
>completely incapable of dealing with something that's latched on to it's back
>>752468879
http://www.girlfuckshorse.net/458388034.html
>>752469059
Give me one reason why I should click that nigga
>>752469510
it will confirm your belief that this is what the internet was created for.
>>752468948
HORSECOCK!
>>752469059
The music made it sound very pedophilic
>>752469753
I didn't watch it for the music
wished the site wasn't so full of pop-ups
>>752468879
HERE YOU GO
http://www.girlfuckshorse.net/587519835-Puddle-of-cum-from-girl-pussy-after-horse-sex.html
Bump
>>752469753
sounds like a chinese children's choir singing over a 1922 disney animation from before they had sound, in a cinema in some northern mongolian wasteland. any music would have been more appropriate than this. yakkety sax. the spongebob theme. the Mr Ed theme.
I probably don't even need to ask this and maybe you won't believe me anyway but I'm willing to tell a story about my experiences growing up.
t. Femanon who had a shetland and have played with his dick a little
No tits. No time stamp. Actually you guys aren't even interested in my tits.
>>752470345
I'm down. Have at it.
and tits are tits, come on
>>752470345
Let's hear it
>>752470258
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=video&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjGoL7BsuXXAhUC2IMKHR5bB14QtwIIJjAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DhBe0VCso0qs&usg=AOvVaw1nKBWhsImdVIbJCok-lJTN
>>752468967
a horse is completely fucked in a confrontation once it's on the ground, everyone knows that, if you get it by the neck it physically can't get up
>>752470345
>shetland
I'd like a pic to go with the story. Makes it hotter.
>>752466441
keep trying anon, you'll never know unless he seeds you at every opportunity
>>752470575
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSy4t6EIUJk
>>752470734
I've even let him seed me during some walks, it just won't happen..
Horses are a gift
>>752470345
yes?
>>752470484
>>752470571
>>752470606
Ok no one was mean to me so I'll share a little.
have a lifestyle block, chickens goats and things like that
> want a horse but dad says too much work and I'm not responsible
> finally decides we get a pony
> couple years later I start developing and getting all the natural urges
> only ever towards guys though, because I'm probably a bit naive and have no idea how things work anyway
> I've seen my ponys dick plenty of times and never cared or worried, just sometimes might get embarrassed if he got excited out when parents around
> one day I'm brushing him in his stables, he slips out and it goes half way to the ground
> I just get curious and lean over and look
> check it out for a while, didn't do anything for me, just wanted to see what it really looked like
> he gets a bit more excited and then it goes down and hides again
> I don't really think anything of it
> sometimes after that when I'm looking after him he might do it again and I look at it for a while, but nothing really more
> its interesting to look at but more like a biology exam then anything exciting
Cont
>>752471036
dont give up, i havent given up on seeding my bitch!
if nothing else, it's a good excuse
>>752471236
More?
>>752471236
go on
>>752471236
moar
>>752471236
Cum on, don't stop
>>752470978
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n_ugxZwZB8
>>752471236
weird. how often do you see greentext on /b/ that is even halfway credible? keep going, this is cool.
> this better not end in Bel Aire
ANyone got any good sites for dog and horse videos?
>>752469059
I was hoping for a Clydesdale, not a fucking mini horse, dammit.
>>752471236
> one day I'm grooming him he grows and it comes out
> I lean down again and look
> not sure why but I got an urge to touch it
> I didn't think of it as sexual, just curious to see what it felt like
> so just got next to him, got on my knees and slowly reached out
> never had any problems with him he was always good natured
> put my hand in under him and rubbed his tummy
> got real close and rubbed all around near his dick
> he neighed a little and snorted and it got real hard, he was kind of pushing it so it did that thing where it goes forward like its got a mind of its own
> I just touch it with my fingers about half way down just for a second
> just feels warm and kinda soft spongey
> go get some food for him, don't even think about what I did
> came back doing my chores
> think why not loom again, he's hidden but I go to his side and put my hand on his belly
> start rubbing and scratching it, after a couple seconds he pops out again
>>752471776
pornsocket yo.
>>752471869
Yes?!
Someone post that picture of a dog's cum in a condom, showing how much more animals produce semen compared to humans
>tfw if girls found out the truth, they'd wanna be squirted by animals due to how bigger the loads are
>>752471869
Who was cleaning his dick to begin with anyway? That is a thing that has to be done, horse dicks build up smegma and can get infections if not cleaned regularly. If it was clean when you were playing with it, someone was doing it.
>>752471790
At least I have depth perception
>and I'm not a retarded fucking horse lmao
>>752471981
i don't want to get b& again.
>>752471036
Having seen real pictures of the girl that draws these comics, I really wish she was into getting knotted.
>>752471981
I don't have a picture but dogs do indeed cum for what seems like several minutes. It just keeps twitching and squirting. A lot thinner and smells like diesel exhaust though.
>>752471901
too many popups and malware installs now
>>752471790
http://www.girlfuckshorse.net/224370085-Yummy-Horse-2.html
Good enough?
>>752472053
your jealousy is showing. that's okay, women are weird and it's perfectly normal for an ungulate to get more pussy than you.
>>752472118
IIRC if you sign in, it gets ride of the aids popups
>>752472117
*the cum is thinner, not the dick, for sure.
>>752470024
Is it illegal to watch?
>>752471981
From left to right, german shepherd, wolfhound, human
>>752472117
>dogs do indeed cum for what seems like several minutes. It just keeps twitching and squirting. A lot thinner and smells like diesel exhaust though.
I really would like to know how you know this
>>752472381
vice did a whole episode about brazilians fucking donkeys that was pretty explicit and is watchable on youtube without signing in. so probably not.
>>752469059
That music is too much.
>>752466308
The horse rubs his face on you affectionately.
"Aw, he likes you" says the other farmhand
"Yep, he sure does" you laugh uncomfortably
He doesn't know.
"Well, I gotta head out, you good here?" he asks
"Actually I-"
"Great" he says, leaving you alone with it.
It is a stud, a stallion, a horse that knows what it likes, and what it likes: is you.
"Please, not today" you plead.
It just snorts and stands on its hind legs, balancing itself by placing its front hooves on a banister.
You look down at his legs and see an equally expected yet impressive foot and half long shaft.
"Let's get this over with" you sigh, licking your lips.
>>752471869
> I just wanted to see what he would do, wasn't really interested in the result
> probably just being a cocktease lol
> put he presents himself and seems excited
> I'm stupid and touch it again
> just softly
> he stamps a little and snorts
> but its friendly acting, he's not aggressive or anything like that
> I keep pushing at it about half way down
> just start to rub or stroke it a little
> the head of it looks icky, but the dick itself is fine
> not gross to touch so I don't mind doing this
> again its just stupid curiousity
> he likes it though and gets pretty hard
> I do something stupid wrap my fingers all the way around it
> just rub it up and down a little
> hes acting ok and is obviously excited
> I do this for only a few seconds though
> feel a little strange and stand up and finish mucking out
> nothing else happened for a few more weeks
> but he would change a little in his behavior when I would see him
> sometimes get 'fresh' and push his side up against me
> I was never worried though because I was taller than him and besides really gentle nature and calm animal
> so one day...
BTW, its strange Sharing this. I never post in these threads sometimes look just for a laugh. Won't ever post again. And dont worry no dinosaurs or fresh princes. I know some people will be getting off to this. Will never share again so feel free to screencap it if you like, idc
>>752472381
Nothing is illegal if it's available on the surface web
>>752472739
please keep going
>>752472739
Pretty damn good so far
Don't stop now though
>>752469059
>>752470024
Man girls must love getting fucked by horses for the sheer taboo of it. Because it can't be THAT good, they came in 4/5 pumps
I mean, I had a friend growing up. She fucked her dog every day from the ages of 13-16, literally set up her own webcam about it. Even told me after her first few boyfriends that dogs fucked waaay better than guys (but she was fucking dumb fuckboy whiteboys that were her age)
She had two horses, one of em was a male. She realllly wanted to fuck it. But she was 5'0. She knew shed die.
So she never did.
Even I've sucked off a person and a mastiff. And dog dick/cum is waaaay better than human.
But horse... ive never heard anything about how the cum tastes, they seem rough to try to give head to, and it doesn't look like a good fuck so. Why?
>>752472632
I've fucked several dogs. How the fuck else would I know?
>>752471989
We had a farrier that did all that. She was a real nice lady but parents knew I wasn't able to do anything other than clean his poop, groom and feed him. She was really nice too, taught me what to do, how to handle him.
>>752472739
Share away. It's not like you're the only one out there. I didn't do anything with horsedick because I was afraid of being ripped apart, but I did rub a horse down while it smacked its dick against its belly.
>>752472639
>and is watchable on youtube without signing in.
I've noticed that recently youtube have allowed more and more lewd stuff to be available freely.
Pic related is from a rock band that 14 year olds listen to. What I find more odd is that the band (Three Days Grace) didn't give a shit to censor this and they obviously know teens like to listen to this music... or perhaps since the band has been going since the early 2000's, they figured that all their fans have grown up by now (because nowadays teens just listen to shitty pop).
woman love fucking horses because they have much better chins than humans
>A horse's whole snout is a chin
>>752473168
>censoring tits
That's exactly the kind of thing that bands intentionally didn't do back in the day.
>>752472669
more
>>752471981
I got some
>>752473783
You definitely feel it when you try to push it out. Almost sounds like you're pissing if you do it in the toilet.
>>752472739
> just continue as normal
> he's a pet and a companion I've got no interest in him in any weird way
> don't think about doing anything strange
> but sometimes I do pat his belly and touch it when he slides out just because, well I don't really know why ???
> but one day he's a little insistent
> is pushing his side into me and snorting
> he won't leave me alone
> its obvious he's excited
> so I think ok, I'll play with you just for a little bit
> I don't bother kneeling down just stand next to him and lean in
> I kinda start jerking him
> don't mess around
> put my hand around it and rub back and forth
> it feels weird at first, then it doesn't bother me at all
> so yeah I'm actual um fapping him I guess
> just close to his body, in fact I let go a couple of times and rub his dick where it goes under his skin
> go back to his dick itself
> I rub close to his body and its all pretty slimy, but kind of makes it easier
> just decide to keep doing it
> I don't want to look at it, I don't need to but am happy to play for another minute
> and that's when it happens
> he steps back a little and I see him hmmm... just cumming onto the floor
> stupid me didn't even think about it happening
> in fact it didn't take long at all
> put he stepped aside and walked away and I was just standing there with a smelly hand over a pool of his mess
I'll wrap up here, I actually ended up doing this a couple more times. Well, maybe once every couple of weeks. I don't know why, no idea. Part curious, part thought it would help him somehow. I really don't know. Don't feel gross about it, I'm comfortable with what happened. When i did do this it never took long, he finished pretty quickly.
Can answer questions if anyone has any. As I've never talked about this IRL I don't mind.
did someone order H O R S E C O C K
>>752474050
Did you ever try to taste the cum? I always wanted to but couldn't get the horse to cum.
>>752473783
>>752474050
Would you ever tell your boyfriend about something like this, and do you think most girls who were around horses a lot during adolescence did similar things?
>>752474167
owie :c
>>752474167
This kinda illustrates the bad part of trying to fuck a horse, they want to fuck and fuck hard. It'd be like someone ramming a baseball bat into your hole with all their might.
>>752474229
Ive seen a bunch but I really don't care to save them, condoms aren't may thing
>>752474050
Mucked out horse stalls for a local farmer for a couple years. 2 stallions, 1 mare. It was always awkward for me when the mare came in heat, cause it nearly looked like a human's. Fingered her one day just out of interest but that was it. Completely understand the fascination though.
>>752474526
It just doesn't look human.. You stick your dick in there and it's unreal. I don't recommend it though unless the mare is super comfortable with you
>>752474140
No that never occurred to me. I was sheltered, kind of knew about sex but while I might have felt warm down there I didn't ever look at porn or anything like that. Just as well because I have no idea what might have tried.
I mean I was happy jerking it, sometimes I just didn't want to. I had the same feeling as you get when you rub your dogs tummy. Its nice and you know he likes it.
I always preferred doing it standing up because I didn't have to look at it. Sometimes he would be lying down but that just hurt my hands sometimes, wasn't very easy to do it and it made my palms ache.
I mean I did lick it and messed around with it that way a couple of times but that made me feel icky. And wasn't for long. So no, definitely did not taste anything that came out of him haha.
>>752474342
No. Not at all. I've never had bfs growing up. I was a real tomboy and didn't care about them. Am at uni now and do have my first 'real' bf. Have never thought about telling him. I know people here might like this stuff, but I think most guys would think it strange. Idk?
>>752474167
>>752474635
it'll ruin women for ya though lol, be warned.
tried a mare when i was younger, and eventually got to try a bitch. first time i ever fucked a woman, it just wasnt as good. still great, dont get me wrong, but nothing beats the engulfing warmth of a dog pussy, or the soft inviting vulva of a mare
>>752474732
If it's a guy who grew up on a farm they probably wouldn't find it so strange. We experiment too. I understand though, I've been married for 10 years and my wife has no clue (though she grew up in town with no exposure to farm animals)
>>752474978
That guy gets paid to do that. Kinda jealous
>>752474342
>do you think most girls who were around horses a lot during adolescence did similar things?
Hmmm. Yes. I wouldn't be surprised. My bf jokes about horsey girls, that we are all a bit strange. Probably because while most teen girls are kind of sheltered from that stuff, we see these massive things all the time. It can be embarrassing when others are around. But if you are feeding him or just mucking out I'm sure most would stand there and stare at it. And many of them possibly would touch it. You have to brush all around that area so you can't be shy.
>>752474526
Yes I understand you completely. Its not something I think people think about doing. But its an animal that's excited, you might be curious. Its only natural you might look. Did you feel guilty about it or wonder about trying anything more?
>>752474885
My bitch is too young, too small, and spayed so I can't do anything with her. It's a shame too cause she's got a nice pussy.
>>752474978
>size of that urethra
Now I'm scared of horses.
>>752466023
/MLP/ HAD IT RIGHT ALL ALONG
