Help me
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Help me
>>752155642
she tryna get in them pants
''Lol show me''
>>752155766
Wtf do I say
>>752155894
"prove it." god damn anon if u cant even text her jesus christ good luck irl man.
>>752155894
what he said above, "prove it" or show me
>>752156037
post wins
>>752156164
noiceee!
is that so? i need to see
>>752156250
this would have been better.
>>752156164
Now wait about three days before sending another text so you dont come off as thirsty
>>752156769
no, as long as she is responding keep sending stuff, further escalating it culminating with real plans for a real netflix and chill type of deal.
Dude you posted 13 times in your same post.... lmfao "13 posts 1 poster"
>>752157079
it's my day off :)
>>752157079
typical fucking cocktease
>>752157079
damn well, you've gotten this far, maybe "when does my shift start?"
>>752157079
that makes two of us, this dick aint free
>>752157182
yes dis
>>752157079
what do i gotta do? *smirk emoji
>>752157079
Play alpha, girls get diamond over that, tell her "work for that? Nooo problem;) what do you want?"
>>752157079
So will you, why don't you give me your snapchat and send me a pic so I know you're real
Bitch I don’t even work for money. Tits or GTFO.
>>752157182
I like that one, I'll Keep that one
>>752157202
This but less vulgar so she dont think you only innit to hit it
>>752157079
I'll work it till it bleeds. Now show it to me.
What've you got in mind?
fuck it lemme get in on this, I need help too anons lmao
>>752157289
this
>>752157289
this one
>>752157419
You're already fucked.
>>752157419
what do i say guys?
>>752157560
nah not really she sent about 10 luagh emojis i figure i'm alright.
>>752157419
Can I fuck you in the ass?
>>752157079
So I have the job then, perfect. When do I start?
>>752157720
this is so beta you fucked up faggot.
>>752157720
bad move dude, you just gave her the power
>>752157720
god damn it you fucked up you faggot now she has you under her thumb
>>752157720
>Fallng for anon's beta b8
Oh anon.
>>752157720
something funnier like "What sort of hours are we talking here? I have things to do later :P"
>>752157720
ugh anon
>>752157720
You sound like a horny 14 year old nerd
>>752157720
Oh you fucking dumbass!
>>752157419
You want us to start a completely new conversation with somebody we don't know.... just say "you're beautiful momie, your face is very symmetrical"
>>752157795
This may of worked
>>752157720
You forgot the "m'lady" at the end
>>752157720
You can fix this still.
>Hah, kidding. You're the one who's going to have to work.
Trust me OP
>>752158039
too late its already gg anons autistic as fuck. I say we move onto the other still salvageable anon
>>752157720
It's happening?
You fags I’m still good
>>752157720
Don't forget to tip your fedora
>>752158141
no date, just sex
>>752158141
You may get a date but you already have her the power you twat.
>>752158141
If by "date" you mean raw anal savagery then I'm in.
>>752158141
>I have the perfect place for a lady like you ;)
Then you bring her back to your parents' house. Go to your bedroom in the basement, and date rape her.
>>752158141
Still a submissive little bitch in my eyes
>>752158222
This, take control
>>752157182
this one
>>752158222
Trips demands it.
>>752158222
nice trips
>>752158141
Listen, I want to destroy dat ass like a Palestinian Village. Lemme get a pic of your bootyhole bby.
>>752158141
If you fuck me first I'll buy you mcdonalds
>>752158141
ok, nows your chance to take back the power, dont ask her what she wants, tell her you'll take her out to something at some time, you come up with the details, but the important thing is that you tell her, dont ask. Say something like "I'm free tomorrow after 7 so we can go shoot up behind the bar" or whatever the fuck you want to do
>>752158141
Not for long, you're fucked (not literally)
Cut the crap, show me your dick and ill show you mine
>>752158403
I like this one anon, I used it lmao
>>752158745
hard balls
a
r
d
b
a
l
l
s
>>752158745
she pays soft ball so i guess its a pun or some shit lmao it sure is retarded tho haha. someitmes u just gotta not give a fuck with these tinder hoes
>>752158745
MADMAN
>>752158141
She overlooked you beta comment, don't keep it up.
>>752158834
you could have said you want her to choke up on your bat.
>>752158745
Oh fuck my sides
>>752158902
if she replies ill say this next.
>>752158417
this op
before I can provide more input I need to see the pics on her profile
also "I suppose that could be arranged" for the answer now
>>752158141
Thats exactly what i had in mind, im taking you to dinner, open up your schedule ;)
>>752158745
Honestly the best answer. She's looking for more serious men
>>752158745
Fucking kek
>>752158745
>and my balls aren't soft
For some reason this sounds about as weird and terrible as woman accidentally revealing themselves a tranny in the middle of a movie.
>>752158826
This sent my sides into orbit, and I have no rational explanation for it. Thank you.
If it doesn’t work idc I got 200 more matches to go through
>>752159241
she plays softball so it kinda works.
>>752159314
u are the worst tinderer to exist
>>752159314
Improvement over the last one.
>>752159337
>my balls are hard
No...that never works
>>752159450
we see
I have cancer btw xDDD
>>752159314
>shitfaced
What are, some kind of edgy 13yo
Real relationships aren't work, stupid.
>>752158745
10/10 would read again
b8
>>752159742
The Rational Male
>>752159314
i give it a 75% chance you fucked that line up
you should have just told her youre free then asked her where she wants to go and said youd pay for as many drinks she wants (implying getting hammered and also making it appealing b/c its free)
>>752159738
dont know where hes from but thats common usage for 20 year olds in the UK
>>752160284
Canada (western at least) also uses the term a lot
>>752160082
There is a 90% chance you are autistic
I bet you never even asked a girl out
>>752160082
No, dummy. You ask her what her interests are. Then you ask her to show you how to do what she likes to do.
>>752160505
This guys about the only dude in the thread I'll believe has actually asked a girl out
>>752160440
I I'm Canadian and I use it with the right circumstances, not when asking a lady out.
>>752160639
I mean honestly with tinder the game should be numbers and efficiency. Open with the line that works for you, go from there. Push the conversation towards sex without being overtly pushy, unless you get a read that she's a total freak in which case go for it.. and go from there. This shit ain't hard it's tinder.
>>752157945
trolled xdxdxdxd
Why would he think that was alpha
any response buddy?
did that shit actually work? is he headed for the pussy?
Not op but fellow anon here tryna score
>>752163281
Protip: Many sluts never respond to "Hey." Try a dick pic instead, ladies love them
>>752163281
instead of 'hey' try 'truth or dare?'
>>752163281
"Wow u really have great eyes"
>>752163281
Yeah, uhhh. Now tell her you want to play with her thinggies.
>>752163741
This
>>752163683
if she says 'truth' you say 'when is our first date'
if she says 'dare' you say 'dare you to go on a date with me'
>>752163909
At what point do you roofie her?
>>752164021
you take her home to your place, make her some good food, and then put sum roofie in the whine / or whatever she drinks. worked for me
>>752163281
The beauty of today in text vs yesteryears in person is that you have all this time to think of something clever to say. Use this time to actually improve your game by trying different approaches until you find something that works. Then hone that approach to a fine edge. Take your newly sharpened skill and slay some poon. Whatever you do, don't waste this valuable time.
>>752164021
you wait until you get the feeling that she isnt going to blow you. then you roofie her so she will blow you.
>>752164300
Can you just put the roofie on your dick? I mostly want it so I don't have to deal with the cuddling afterwards.
>>752163741
I used that line to get my current
>>752164491
probably anon, probably.
>>752164491
thats why you pay a hooker...to leave
>>752163741
>>752165021
That sounded pretty unnatural after the first Hey. You got this, don't lose faith.
>>752165021
they would look better if you cried while choking on my cock.
>>752165021
wait for her reply and send it to us before you reply again
let us help you this time
>>752165157
HAHAHHAHAH
>>752165291
Im getting chills reading this. This sounds like something Hannibal would say before he eats them.
let's see if any of you think you can fix this drunken mess
>>752165447
Eat dat pussy
>>752165466
You gotta tighten up that spelling, say:
"When are we going to get even closer?"
>>752165466
wanna meet up and get closer?
>>752165544
this thread needs more dubs
>>752165466
Not close enough :(
>>752157512
Jake paul ?
>>752165291
Thats the Belgian flag, not the German retard
>>752165291
Did it work?
>>752166417
Fuck no it didn't work. The human race is going to go extinct according to this thread.
>>752165466
Tell that bitch you're from the future
>>752167296
>>752165291
She was into it
>>752155642
"Tits or GTFO!"
>>752166376
Kek, that's exactly what I thought. What a tard.
>>752167666
ouch
I'm enjoying this thread
>>752167933
ya iz guud
>>752158745 >>752158826
My sides lmfao
>>752168158
no my sides
>>752165552
this for sure
Enjying thread, keep going
>>752155642
Post her profile pics OP
>>752166376
Apologies gents, heres the new german flag
>>752160639
How can you tell?
Because if he is the only one, that would mean that you have never asked anyone out...
>>752163438
Yeah, just ask Anthony W.
>>752155883
the fastest way to show a girl that you're a fucking hopeless beta is to say lol when you're trying to be sexy
>>752165466
>>752165552
here we go
I'll be surprised if she even responds given that this convo is like a month old but let's see what happens lmao
>>752165291
> /pol/ hangaround Hobby-Nazi sends a Belgian flag...
>>752169514
kek
Let’s hear it fellas
>>752158745
lul
>>752169856
Ore wa ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo.
>>752169856
Hopefully that was smooth enough for me to take you out on a date to the olive Garden with my $50 gift I got for my birthday last week
>>752169514
that was fast
wat do
>>752170199
"I'm off tomorrow, i was thinking I could get you a drink"
>>752170199
I'm going to kill you
>>752169633
I need to get me some of this.
>>752170199
>>752170199
You, me, (insert day here) and lets find out
>>752165021
Dude fuck that, her hair is incredible
bump
>>752170199
“I'm from a much higher place than you… and I've seen the truth of this world, the Universe, and all things in it. I noticed the results and decided mortal beings should be destroyed. Mortals are the one and only failed creation of the gods. In order to make the world — the Universe — a beautiful paradise, I want to annihilate the mortals on the gods' behalf, who won't admit their failure!”
Because fuck you
>>752170199
Please post results
>>752171034
still deciding on answer
I have this drafted... thoughts?
>>752171297
Sounds way too sexual and no one was talking about finals. You're injecting an excuse which comes off as unnatural
>>752170918
please, this would ruin any chance of getting pussy
>>752171297
Nah the answer is "I'm pretty sure it's this weekend.".
>>752171297
say
oh get over here already what are you waiting for
>>752170199
>Im not sure
shes not interested
"Now that you have broken the ice, when are you going to ask me on a date?"
>>752157720
I was just about to comment on the comment you got that from and say " thats the opposite of alpha, faggot."
Alpha is never giving her all the power
>>752157720
thats not work to me
>>752171297
You're retarded. Say "me neither. My schedule is tight but i thought we could be tighter.
Help me. She replied fast.
>>752172893
to be determined
>>752172893
Try just having a normal convo
>>752172893
Well, not as well as tomorrow night when you come over.... (You could swap that for go out/go do x)
>>752172893
lets put a pin in that, i want to put my pin in you
>>752172858
shit I like this I'm probably going to go with this
my lame-ass alternative was something along the "what are we waiting for *insert some kind of call to action here*"
>>752172858
except it also sounds super sexual too
>>752155642
Tell her to fuck off op.
Just fucking look at her what a thot
>>752171297
NO! Go with this guy's:
>>752172045
Seriously, that's all you should say.
>>752172893
Relaxing. Got a busy week.
> she will reply, "really, whats up this week?"
So let's start thinking of a response to that now
>>752165291
That's Belgium you fucking mutt
>>752157720
>cuck
Should I have been a little more direct?
>>752173885
Yes.
>>752173885
>>752173957
...tomorrow night when we get together.
>>752173885
Who the fuck goes out on Mondays? Losers. And since you're now a loser in her eyes, no. Too desperate. I give 80% you struck out, but she looks kinds desperate too so you never know
>>752173885
are you serious? this is the best you could do? JEZUS CHRIST DUDE.
>>752173885
That comes off as needy and cringy af, what were you thinking? But she fat af so you'll probably pull it off
>>752173885
Nobody thinks that his profile picture looks like a man?
>>752174204
Nah it's just some Chubby bitch I want to fuck for fun but boys I'm still in there
>>752173272
It's tinder. It should be laced with innuendo, just not directly sexual.
>>752173885
You fucked it up man:/ the 'hopefully' makes it seem like you don't feel confident you can make that happen, provided further conversation.. the 'see you' makes it seem like you'd be satisfied just to see her or have a chance to get with her. Don't hope to see her, hope to nuzzle her titties with your nose and her cervix with your cock at the same time. But don't just go and say that.
>>752174343
Ugly, fat and stupid... you could have had her tonight and not spent a dime.
>your
>you're
>>752158745
Sent to different chick
>>752174343
by her reply she is asking for a date not a hookup. dont waste your time
>>752174343
I'm asking you back to my place after we go out.
^dont fuck it up this time.
>>752174438
Yeah that's why I wasn't direct when speaking to this fat bitch (posted earlier). Girls I met and fucked on here get matched with hundreds of dude, if you're too aggressive or too much you basically already lost. She matched with you and you basically get one chance to catch her interest
>>752174343
we can start with sex and see what happens
Lemme dick ya down
>>752174589
Should I just take >>752174636 and just roll the dice?
>>752159314
Cringe. Im surprised she even asked for a date after how awkward and retarded you sound.
>>752174343
Yeah I have a pickup so you should be able to fit in the back
>>752174343
>>752174035
forget what I said. You got this. Don't overdo this. Just write:
"That's right"
>>752174648
How does what you said catch her interest?? Oh I hope I see you? Lol how bout 'im doing a show at 'venue' and I can get you in, I'm looking for feedback on my stage presence'. That's what you're up against. Hundreds of dudes, some with money, talent, experience, and on and on.
>>752174921
And you're completely right. I don't think I did too much to catch her interest but that's why I'm here? I agree with all you said and just want to add that being aggressive fails more times then it works
#justsendit
I've gotta stop overthinking lmao
I should pick out a few of the less attractive matches and practice on them, I'm slow as shit with this chick because she's cute as hell
>>752175250
dude I thought the finals one would have been a good one, but that was smooth OP.
>>752175250
nigga gettin catfished
>>752169856
Smooth enough to take you out tomorrow?
>>752170014
My sides
>>752175250
hm I think she's asking if this shit's sexual or not
UhhhHhhhhHHHHH "Why don't we find out when I take you out?"
>>752176140
Let me know when youre free and see for yourself
>>752174767
This thread has given me many keks
>>752176140
girl dont be coy lets make this happen
>>752176140
Just send her this
>>752176313
looks good to me
>>752176140
Between the sheets
>>752176140
"Meet me at X (insert some bar or something) Wednesday at 7:30"
>>752176140
took a bit of one of your replies and went with this
this thread is why i love /b/
>>752176313
Rolling for this
bby I can't wait to show you my throbbing baby carrot.
Bring an extra pair of panties, I'm gonna use the ones you wear that day to jerk off.
>>752155642
How does op get so many matches? Is it a catfish account?
>>752169953
Fuck off underage faggot
>>752176714
that is not how this works bro
you come for alpha tips-you trust alpha tips
this halfbreed nonsense you keep spewing is garbage
>>752176714
can anyone figure out wtf she's referring to
my schedule isn't that tight?
we aren't that tight?
LOL FUCK EITHER WAY
>>752176714
Not bad. Next step is to get specific. Make it seem like your plans are all set, just looking for a +1.
>>752176924
rejected
>>752176924
BAHAHAHAH U LOST ANON
>>752177007
Maybe she's just letting him know she has a worn out sloppy hole?
>>752176924
"Not yet"
just send that and wait for a response
>>752176140
This is her asking what your style is, she knows you mean sex, shes asking specifically how you'd fuck her good etc etc
>>752176924
'you can't possibly know that yet. Nobody can see a week into the future'
>>752176924
DON'T GIVE UP ANON
"then how tight would you like to be?"
>>752176924
she is obv high maintenance and is looking to be wow'd
she has prob been on there for a long time and has heard all the lines
thats why she gives short pointless answers
>>752176924
be honest and say like "lmao did I just lose?"
>>752176924
This weekend i'll find out if it is or is not that tight.
>>752176977
it seems we have another speed bump to get through before we get there
>>752177007
>>752177028
IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO SALVAGE IT. you'd be surprised the shit I've salvaged before
>>752177084
I like this. 9/10 running with it
>>752177085
wat
>>752176924
schedule not that tight if you have the weekend off
"ill clear my schedule for you"
Rolling for more Palestinian jokes
>>752177251
>mfw that line eventually works on a grill
>>752177239
>wat
Sperg detected. She said 'oh i see, how so?' asking what makes you different from every other retard who wants to put their dick in her. This is the part of the conversation where you introduce small erp, shit example but like 'well after we did X we could go back to my place where my badass whips with flamethrowers are' or whatever the fuck your preference is. If shes interested she's DTF, if not, find another. Literally easy as piss
>>752177405
ah, yeah her asking "how so?" is exactly that
>>752177405
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?
>>752177590
yeah sorry i couldnt comment in time, ya blew it already
>>752176924
Friendzonedagain.png
>>752159929
Just finished that book. Shits hard to apply irl.
>>752158745
>>752177177
This is the best move right here
Please this
>>752176924
>>752177251
fuck off kike
>>752176924
No, ignore her answer and just write the time and place you wish to meet up with her.
Friday, 8:30, X (whereever u were going to go)
>>752174343
>>752176924
"You're right I don't like fucking loose butthole anyways" probably looks like a feeding sea cucumber.
Simple reply, simple response, what do?
>>752176924
Just put a dick pic up on imgur and send her the link or if you just wanna have a laugh post a pic of a huge dick on imgur and send her the link to see what she does
>>752178332
Not as sweet when see your beautiful face.
>>752178406
When I*
>>752178332
"So are you up for it or not?"
>>752178332
she aint into u
>>752178332
"not as sweet as I bet your pussy tastes"
>>752178332
Doesnt seem interested, i agree with dude who says dick pic, or something similar anyway. Its go for broke time. DO NOT ASK 'so you up for it?' makes you seem like a woman
>>752178332
anon please stop shes a whale
missed trips say so
>>752178332
Once again, keep it simple. write time and place. "7,at X"
She's being fucking weird, which makes me think she might be new at this. Just make it easy for her and do that
>>752178332
Just say "I'll take that as a yes"
>>752178509
me again, this>>752178540
is probably your best bet
>>752178550
"I knew you would say yes"
>>752169856
Wa'gwaaan you fat cunt I got a snickers,U jelly?
>>752178733
this guy
>>752178550
This
>>752178540
This is prolly your best bet. If you're trying to fuck on first outing I'd shoot for later than 7 though, but that's just me.
>>752178786
Boom nigga
Now try to get some nudes
>>752178786
>>752178332
Send her this and ask if she's ever seen such a large spider
>>752178786
CONGRATS FAM
Hope you not an ugly cunt lmao or else snapchat is your game over
>>752178786
get dem tidays
