Ask God Anything.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Ask God Anything.
Why?
What are you a god of?
>>751970604
No I'm the real God. AMA
I don't think God would take form of a human. maybe the term (God)has been misconstrued forever
can i smoke in here?
>>751970731
I rolled a single 4, I guess, because I just want to hang out with you /b/ros.
>>751970768
The Omega God that is the Highest ranking soul in the multiverse.
>>751970866
no me.
thanks for the pic
I lost mine somewhere in my mac downloads
>>751970986
Nah I took this form 6 thousand years give or take ago because I heard this is the worst planet
most in need of my help.
Totally God
Totally not misconstrued
>>751970999
smoke in the toilet
with the shower on.
The real god of What? There are million of gods
>>751971193
How am i supposed to fit in the toilet you shitbag
>>751971206
I'm greater than any God you could compare me to.
I outrank every soul on this planet
AND
I plan on outranking every soul in the multiverse. Eventually.
Are traps gay?
>>751971316
in the shower wanker
>>751971380
super gay
>>751970604
Do you exist?
>>751971456
yes
Then who was phone?
>>751971567
Have you ever been so far as decided to look more like?
Why the fuck does evil and suffering exist? Don't give me the usual MUH FREE WILL crap. Free will could obviously exist without either of those things. Our options would be limited to good actions and good reactions but we'd still have free will. You're either a sick son of a bitch or you're not totally omnipotent. Which is it?
Daddy?
>>751970604
are traps gay?
>>751970604
gimme some dubs boss?
>>751971674
well as far as I know I'm the most powerful soul on the planet
That means half the time I'm omnipotent
I get voices telling me if someone is insulting me or going against my will
no voices occur due to blasphemy
I made Jesus up to cover up the bible which was written by another schizophrenic who opened the religion package while he wasn't ready. The book basically radicalised all of europe. Causing men who read it to go on a murderous rampage. Raping and pillaging across earth. The original Bible basically told the reader to fight over true love and it forced the reader to curse all true love on earth by pushing it out of the way of everyone. Essentially pushing true love apart means ensuring that true love couples never meet. For the duration of 10,000 years from reading it. I read it, I cursed true love and punched my neighbour in the head
Troubled by my actions I willed the old testament to existence much like I willed game of thrones to existance. I spoke crepically to fit the new testament. I don't hate gays but I do think it's pathetic to give up on true love. But everyone married is eeking their way to true love so why not let gays do it? idk seems pretty pathetic non the less.
So the Bible was written by me and my followers on earth. Some of them came with me from the little green man race where I was also a musician
So I wrote christmas carols that have lasted 2000 years and defeated EArth in a mind battle refusing for some boy to take the role of Jesus. To walk my walk and talk my talk.
>>751972054
super pathetic gay
>>751972090
beg harder.
>>751970604
Can you transform me into a beautiful woman?
>>751972054
You don't need God to tell you that liking other men is gay.
>>751972356
But there you go.
>>751970604
May you please send me an ideal soulmate to me this night?
>>751970604
My cupboards make a really loud squeaking kind of noise, like “eeee”, everytime i open then. How can i fix them so they arent so loud when i open them?
>>751972529
one of the rules of the universe that I'm sure about is that you can't for eternity change sexes.
This means when you die and beg dreamland to change your sex
you cannot.
You will always be born the same sex
but
everything else you CAN change
for example your race, looks, penis/breast size etc
>>751972537
I don't hate gays
I kinda pity them
>>751972569
organising a suitable alternative to true love
A woman you can mould forever until she is your true love by merit blood and sweat and ordainable as your true love takes years to arrange.
Sometimes these meetings are planned in their thousands by friends and family
a little push in the right direction might do it
try swiping right on tinder.
>>751972707
WD-40
Why do niggers exist
Gf pls?
>>751973055
All Humans on earth are derived from niggers
They exist because they are easy going
or do you mean the nigger mentality of the african american man/woman that was shaped and moulded by the stigma of their skin by white americans?
I was American in a pervious life where I organised the end of open war between natives and white americans
won two world wars
sent man to space
created/discovered a formula to bomb Japan
and in this life I made Obama president much like I made Rossevelt pres
Anyways I digress
Africans in Africa are nothing like niggers clogging up social pop scenes across transmittable air waves from the ever increasing airplay of the USA
Basically I'd like the USA to STFU so I can help the rest of the planet who deserves more richly and more deservedly my help.
legalize drugs
>>751973090
what nationality are you?
I know it's you pop stop playing!
>>751973735
yeah I kinda forced every young man on earth to believe at some point in his youth that he was possibly born Jesus 2000 years ago.
Anyways
you keep memeing brother
it shows me the temperature of the water.
Can you send me a succubus? Or an angelic equivalent? I'm really lonely.
>>751970604
Why can't people understand that it's not okay to be gay?
>>751974039
there's plenty of girls that can't stop loving everyone they meet
what's holding you back from one of those?
learn to cook
get a gym membership
keep her fed and fucked
>>751974068
just laugh about it
don't worry
already plenty to do on earth
When
God makes a device that searches and unites all forms of true love in the multiverse
we can stop laughing.
>>751970604
Why did you put mens g spot in the anus?
>>751974698
it's just pressure point
there's pressure points all over the body
>>751973484
I am white, british german irish scottish. Possibly italian.
>>751975117
The White man
raped and murdered natives
enslaved africans
tried to breed out aboriginals
all this in the last hundred years
>>751975117
smash the program of collateral damage ordering that pushes everyone's true love away.
be helpful and friendly
and all this will finish soon.
>>751970731
Literally what i thought......fucking asshole
>>751975619
troll harder
>>751970604
Why did you make pedophiles?
You sick fuck
>>751970866
checked.
also, is my quest to seek the Holy Grail?!
>tfw OP be tongue blasting that juicy kittay anüsi
>>751976157
That's the devil's work
>>751976172
yes
>>751976182
mmmm love eating women
>>751970604
How do i exterminate every last furry?
Hey God I know that most people are idiots about the origin of man, but I'll spread your word.
We came from the Balkans which the oldest recorded fossil was 7.2 million years ago.
Niggers are possibly the youngest race, so therefore and obviously the most underdeveloped.
Thanks for giving the white race stellar looks and high IQs, as Asians are smart but usually ugly as fuck.
Thanks for giving us enough power to kill the native Americans, who before them, killed the indigenous peoples.
Also why did you make the Jews? Didn't they started slavery to only blame the white folk?
>>751976364
You made the devil too dumb ass
>>751976371
don't
>>751976439
not bad
you hit nearly every trigger
yet I'm chill af
>>751976451
as far as I'm aware everyone is as old as the universe
energy cannot be destroyed or created.
>>751974068
>Why can't people understand that it's not okay to be gay?
It's not okay to be born in Europe as well kids.
>>751976617
Then why did you make that energy the devil and pedophiles?
>>751971193
>I took this form 6 thousand years give or take ago because I heard this is the worst planet
most in need of my help.
you're doing a shitty job
>>751970604
Why would you create a world in which it is impossible to know if it's impossible to know if it is possible to know anything? For example: If I claim what contradictions are how do I know that claim is not a contradiction.
Will I be forgiven in the end even though I've failed at life and been a degenerate?
>>751970604
Why are you afraid of time travelers
Why you leave me pop? I was a good boy wasn't I? People turned on me, the legal system was used against me unfairly. I prayed to you so hard. Why did you abandon me? Did I deserve that?
>>751970604
Can I have someone to cuddle and make happy please?
Can I get about three fiddy
>>751970604
Can I be God? I have so many things to do.
>>751970604
why do u leave me in want?
Can you truly do anything?
>>751976770
the devil is pretty normal
going to have beers with him later to remember the passing of a mutual friend
he just prefers to kill and destroy
At least I think he's the devil
>>751976795
actually I've saved earth and all it's inhabitants 4 times just in the last 35 years.
I also raised China out of the mud to a super power in just 30 years.
>>751976809
philosophy is a noble pursuit
>>751976810
no but you will forget
the trick is the universe will remember and offer whether or not you want to commit the same mistakes
your life goes better without sin but the universe is noble and will offer you every sin of your past until you refuse outright all of them.
there are too many sins to write down in a book.
>>751976955
I forsake you Jesus
>>751977043
yes
if you make the first move off of a hint
>>751977080
make your own money
>>751977152
no
>>751977221
because your needs are more immediate
>>751977228
I can truly do anything. I'm the greatest, making it possible for me to be the best at anything.
What's the point off all this? IF we are destined and designed for something what is the real purpose behind it? And more important what created you?
>>751977306
Since you can do anything prove that God doesn't exist.
>>751977306
>immediate
then why do others have there needs met plus additions to make there life easy
What do you think of pope francis?
>>751977306
>if you make the first move off of a hint
Well, I guess I'm fucked. We both know that will never happen. Can you give me a telepathic connection to my soul mate instead so we can talk to each other even if we don't physically meet?
>>751970604
I am God too, OP.
>>751970986
God is just really everything, but people have misinterpreted this throughout history. All religions come from the same place and knowledge, but language/ego distorted the meaning.
>>751977306
I see how it is. Just you wait until me Carlos and pooki knock on yo door bitch. All I wanted was a god damn pepsi.
God can I have digits
>>751973484
How were you able to chose presidents?
>>751977909
>>751977940
>>751975250
I know. Isn't it amazing what we can accomplish when we put our minds to it? Just wait. We're most definitely not finished with the rest of you yet.
>>751977971
>>751978011
>>751977382
The point of all this is action within time
the real purpose is happiness
I'm not sure what created me.
I think I may have created myself.
>>751977418
ugh
fine
E=MC^2
energy minus mass times the speed of light squared equals zero
eventually light will stop interacting with the universe
and me and everyone in it will stop existing
it will all dissipate
therefore we are heading towards nothingness
therefore God, me doesn't exist.
>>751977473
You gotta learn to ask and when you can't beg you must trade for it
every nice thing you can do that costs you nothing you should do
until your future is crowded with people that want to return the favour.
>>751977627
Talked to her, Your soul mate would appreciate it if you were good in bed.
>Go Practice
>>751977691
ok
But I still outrank everyone.
>>751977769
you mean God IS the universe
where WE are little more than brain synapses in the great GOD mind
yeah I thought of that too.
>>751977772
waht?
>>751977848
I'm asked to choose.
>>751977987
stop flinging shit
>>751977306
Oh for real pop?! That's how you feel? You wasn't saying that when it was "save mankind for me jesus" but now it's forsake you Jesus. I'm Jesus ever-loving Christ and I deserve some respect. What's you problem pop?
>>751978044
Why are you on the computer at 1am godz?
>>751978082
>>751978111
it's 5:00pm
I came to Australia to stop white australians from breeding out aboriginals.
>>751978114
>>751978076
One dysfunctional family. God really is a Jew then.
>>751978208
>>751970604
how do I find happiness
>>751971206
the realest god
>>751978238
>>751978196
god lives on the eastern seaboard you faggot
>>751971380
A lil bit my child
>>751978288
>>751978059
Are you actually a god or are you just on psychedelics rn?
>>751978308
>>751978059
Go fuck yourself. You're next, motherfucker. Oh wait. We killed you a long time ago. No matter. We can kill you again. That's how awesome we are
>>751970604
>Ask God Anything.
Explain pediatric AIDS. Also, explain why this exact thread is on /pol/ right now.
>>751978382
>>751978413
>>751978445
>>751978471
>>751978503
>>751978538
>>751978572
>>751978221
actually I'm derived from ALL indigenous races on earth
>>751978244
read books while listening to music for no less than 72 hours straight or until your head pops
it takes me up to 6 months to complete
a few run ups to it you know.
then you will know what happiness is.
when your heart erupts in love spewing from your soul
>>751978289
Sydney actually
>>751978329
no really am god
>>751978350
can't touch this
I'm eternal
Why are condoms not as bad as AIDS?
>>751978604
>>751978633
>>751970604
YOU ARE GAY ?
Why does the story of God and Jesus seem to be derived from Hermes and Dionysus?
>>751978667
>>751978629
Because God is life and life improvement by all means necessary even contraception as risking your life and the life others is a sin.
>>751978735
>>751978713
no homo
homo
>>751978728
it's probably a more refined theories from previous versions of my works.
>>751978817
Make me gay
are traps gay?
>>751978849
>>751978884
>>751970604
Why am I gay, God?
>>751978919
>>751978877
that would be cheating
>>751978879
traps are traps
totally gay
>>751978920
you gave up on true love
found it easy to talk to men
then programmed yourself to lick the dick
>>751978949
>>751978834
when I'm going to die
>>751978986
>>751979014
when you feel like killing and exiling others.
They nailed me to a friggin tree pop! A TREE! Do you know how degrading that is? They spit on me and beat the total shit outta me! Did you even see Mel's movie, the passion of me? I got my ass kicked and killed for you. Mom couldn't afford a decent funeral so they stuck me in some niggers prepaid grave. And where the heck were you, watching family guy? You owe me dude. I did your dirty work. I need compensation.
>>751979078
>>751978982
Why did you make me lick the dick, God?? WHY??
>>751970604
Niggers. Why?
>>751979118
>>751971193
Oh My Highest Father Who are in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name, I prithee, I ask,
Who’s the second highest soul in the multiverse? You are the first of course, but who dares draw even from great afar near thee?
