New one boys
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
New one boys
I wish this thread would never end.
I wish we'd have taken over this thread >>750915019
i wish this thread would die
>>750924537
Granted, but the thread can only continue in segments like this and the quality continually drops.
>>750924537
granted but only newfags post
I wish I was a multi-quadrillionare, with a big dick and have sex all the time.
>>750924579
granted but /b/ looses your favourite threads too
>>750924382
I wish I could teleport at will.
>>750924708
granted but you exist only when you blink
>>750924708
Granted but your semen causes pregnancy 100% of the time and none of the women want to stay with you, but all file for child support.
>>750924729
grated. you not teleport. i do good? ;)
>>750924729
Granted, but now will hates you.
>>750924729
granted but only in sewers
I wish I would die tonight while I sleep
>>750924796
Dope, I'll just invest money in the best lawyer, and once that's all settled and I'm not paying child support I'll invest in making myself gay. EZ PZ
i wish communism would win
i wish my father would come back to life
>>750924729
Granted, but you can only teleport into occupied bathroom stalls
>>750924964
Riiiiight. No lawyer ever has managed to keep a man from paying for his child. Your fortune is going to be taken from you one litigious hoe at a time.
I wish that my wish gets corrupted
>>750925000
granted lad. no buts, everyone deserves a father brother, i am sorry for your loss.
.also checked
>>750925000
No feels plz
>>750924952
Granted, but you'll be stuck eternally in a compilation of all nightmares you've ever had.
>>750925000
Granted, but he is a pedophile.
>>750924952
Granted but you are reincarnated as a potato
>>750925095
Granted, but it it gets corrupted by your most bitter ex.
>>750925081
Aight, then pay a hit man to kill them, then pay off anyone who comes after me. Or have them killed too. I'll make sure to safely invest my money so that I never run out of it. Bada bing, bada boom. Money is power baby.
>>750924964
No lawyer will get you out of this.
Its like saying you shoot someone in the head in public, everyone saw it and your lawyer will bail you out.
>>750925000
Granted but hope you had not read ''The monkey's paw''
>>750924729
granted, but everytime you do, you loose one inch of your dick
>>750925264
Dude, you have sex all the time. You'd be too busy to do all that. ALL THE TIME.
i wish i could see thru walls
>>750924382
I wish at least one of the women I care about loved me.
I wish that this wish would be granted.
>>750924965
Granted, but it's Socialist Feminism that wins.
vote pls
http://www.strawpoll.me/14396585
>>750925381
Granted, but every time you use it, the person you are looking at sees through the wall and looks at you.
>>750925264
real life is a bit different than GTA or similiar vidyas kiddo
>>750925388
that's not how the game works you idgit
>>750925124
Well that actually isnt that bad, my nightmares have always been more sinister or acid than horrific.
I twnd to dream of strange places, xities withweird architectures and so.
>>750925352
Thaaats... fair. Guess I'll die of dehydration and put all of my money into the worlds biggest and best funeral/coffin ever.
>>750925472
this is still a huge superpower
>>750925381
>granted, but everytime you do, you need to sneeze until you stop looking through walls
>>750925407
Granted, but this was your only one and you wont ever get any more wishes. Good job.
>>750925493
Nice, good for you anon. My nightmares involve me repeatedly watching either myself of my loved ones get slaughtered, sometimes by my hand. It's incredibly disturbing.
>>750925381
Granted but you cant see walls at all, so you bump into them all the time
I wish the Deep Ones would rise and take back the Elder Gods with them
i wish i could talk to animals
I wish I had a bigger dick.
I wish I could see through clothes and use mind control.
>>750925652
granted but you cant get a boner
>>750925547
I corrupt towards responsibility, not total destruction of the power.
>>750925629
Granted, but all the animals you talk to fall over dead.
>>750925652
Granted, your dick is now 144 inches long, and 1/2 inch thick.
>>750925655
granted but everytime you do you loose 50 years of life
>>750925629
You can but dont understand their language
>>750925622
Granted, but you'll be to insane to experience it.
>>750925629
Granted, but they all want to complain about the problems they have with your species.
>>750925712
kek
>>750925728
Worth it
>>750925712
jokes on you, alan "lasso dick" ball has his own porn niche carved out for him
>>750925394
Granted but she gets hit by a truck and killed 3 days into your relationship
i wish i could breathe underwater
I wish I had access to any and all super powers, and could use them whenever I want and for however long I want
>>750925858
>calm down satan
>>750925870
Kek imma save that
>>750924382
I wish i had a beautiful, faithful, virgin, white, red headed, girlfriend who stayed by my side forever.
>>750925848
Kek
>>750925757
Ah that's fucking genius/bullshit
>>750925873
Granted, but EVERY time you do you smell fish piss.
>>750925873
You become a Deep One, although now that I think it, some may see that as a gift
>>750925946
Granted, but she has a dick.
>>750925777
Checked. Kek is rising.
>>750925946
Its a trap
>>750926005
Even better
>>750926044
Amen
>>750925873
Granted, but you grow scales as you use your power. The more you use it, the more your skin turns to fish scales. Where it starts is random and it grows at the rate of one square inch every hour of use.
i wish i could summon demons on demand
>>750925946
Granted, you are physically attached at your sides, and can't be separated without one of you dead. Also, her hand can't reach far enough towards your dick to jack you off, and your arm can't reach her tits.
>>750925394
Granted, its your mom
I wish someone's dick would sit on this picture.
>>750926083
fair trade maybe?
>>750926085
Granted, but they all rape you analy
>>750926085
Granted, but they rape you when you summon them.
>>750926085
Granted, but these demons are super chill and don't actually have any powers. Also, you can't send them back and they have to live with you.
>>750926085
They are angery and an hero u
>>750926159
granted its the person's you love the most
>>750926159
Granted, but I'm gay so I like it.
>>750926085
granted but they only ever fuck you in the ass with a thorned cock
>>750925916
Granted but everyone else also gets all those powers.
>>750926159
Granted, dick cheney will now sit on your photo.
>>750926161
Risk/reward scenario. You could do a lot with it, but it comes with a balance that would make you use it judiciously. Or you could just say "fuck it" and go full fish scales and become an evil aquaman.
>>750926250
Nice
>>750926243
To late, already said faggot
Wish I'd win the lottery.
>>750925622
Granted, but the Elder Gods they bring with them are the ones from Mortal Kombat, and you've been selected to fight in the tournament.
>>750926159
Granted, but no proof or promise will ever be delivered to you that this has happened. Wich may have happened right now.
>>750926295
Granted, but everyone else does, too. Enjoy your $11.
i wish could fly
>>750926295
Granted but so do 30 million people so you all get like 20 bucks
>>750926295
but you get raped to death by a massive faggot called op
I wish I had a sexy ass
>>750926295
Granted but you get mugged and lose the winning ticket.
>>750926349
but you get raped to death by a massive faggot called op
>>750926250
I wonder what would happen if a war started then? Everyone would be invulnerable, so it would be pointless. Even if earth got destroyed we would jus have the powers to survive anyway. Man life would be boring as hell, and everyone's entertainment would come from self imposed weakness.
>>750926349
oh, did you want to land too?
i wish everyone looked like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPEZGTO27qk
I WISH NOBODY IN THIS THREAD WOULD CLICK ON THIS VIDEO
>>750926395
but you get raped to death by a massive faggot called op
I wish I had an endless supply of weed
>>750926369
I wish i WOULDN'T get raped to death by faggot op
>>750926439
but you get raped to death by a massive faggot called op
>>750926349
Granted, but now you have no arms or legs. Just wings, a torso, and your head.
>>750926464
but you still get raped to death by a massive faggot called op
>>750926302
I regret nothing
>>750926295
Granted, You match 4 balls get £5 but are cursed to never win again.
I FUCKING WISH I KNEW HOW THE SCOLIOSIS THING ORIGINS
>>750926462
but you get raped to death by a massive faggot called op
>>750926462
Granted, but it smells and tastes like Oprah winfreys ass
>>750926395
Granted, but you lose your genitalia.
>>750926507
Caw caw motherfucker
>>750926464
Granted. But you get raped by a massive faggot OP with pigeon wings and head.
>>750926545
Fuck me too
>>750926462
Granted, but nothing can get you high.
i wish my dad would come back from the grocery store smh why the fuck does it take 11 years to get milk
>>750926545
but you get aids and die
I wish she loved me
I wish op wasn't a massive faggot.
>>750926615
he comes home and rapes you to death
>>750926614
That's just cruel and unusual punishment
>>750926545
Granted, but you can never recall this information.
>>750926658
She is a he and has aids
>>750926615
Granted, but he leaves to buy smokes 3 days later
>>750926673
Granted, but now you are.
>>750926658
granted
you loose your love for her
>>750926615
Granted, but he comes back as a drugie with no money
>>750926673
Granted. Now you're the massive faggot
>>750926673
Op is not a faggot
>>750924382
I wish to be a immortal hive-mind based in biology out of fun rather than necessity. my number to expand if my base creature lacks intelligence so the net computing ability is uninfected, my diversity increases if my parts are incompetent in portions, not to be contained to one planet or dimension.
>>750926658
"she" is a man who rapes you to death
>>750926415
There'd be no death, disease, war, or poverty. It might be boring, but it would be peaceful. Either that or we'd expand into the stars and become the worst alien threat ever to exist.
>>750926683
Don't do drugs. Sell drugs.
>>750926658
Granted, but she likes pineapple pizza.
>>750926615
Granted, but when you go to your door, you see your uncle.
You're momentarily confused, then realization hits.
>>750926727
Thanks
>>750926712
You're a monster :'(
>>750926439
Granted, but not the person, the horse.
>>750926658
Grabted, but you will never love yourself.
>>750926089
>>750926521
Stop, you're not funny.
>>750926795
So normal life...
>>750926756
You monster!
I wish I had enough money in my pocket to buy anything.
>>750926789
top kek
>>750926658
Granted, but she loves you like a brother.
>>750926756
GREAT!
I wish I had bigger tits.
Creative Round: Assume what the wish is and ruin it.
>>750926250
style.
i wish i could use fire on command
>>750926742
We wouldn't really be a threat so much as gods to any and all aliens. We would probably create gladiator arenas and watch random shit fight and die.
>>750926871
Granted, you're an unappealing overweight monster with Triple-F tits.
>>750926615
Granted, but he forgot the milk in the car and disappears for another 5 years
>>750926545
>be massive /b/tard fagcuck
>decide to create a meme for keks
>shitpost cleverly, few on many threads
>people on /b/ too bored to resist
>now scoliosis is the new thing
>>750926845
Granted, but you cant decide what you want to buy.
I wish I had tits
>>750926817
but you get raped to death by a massive faggot who's your mom, but it turns out she is secretly your dad.
>>750926871
You have bigger tits but they are massive and sag down to your kneecaps and give you a hunchback.
I wish that Ashley would be my friend again.
I wish I had a girlfriend
>>750926871
Granted, you're new birds are bigger than any other on earth.
>>750926959
Granted. But theyre ugly as fuck
>>750926959
granted, only others can see them and feel them
>>750926959
granted, but they are a different skin color from yours
>>750926989
Granted, but she has a dick
>>750926959
Granted, but they bleed everytime you laugh.
I wish I was dead
>>750926872
Granted, but your wish is ruined.
>>750926795
Literally my problem. Have a beautiful girl who genuinely loves me but I can't enjoy or accept it cos I hate myself so fucking much.
>>750927035
Granted, but the paramedics save you
>>750926871
Granted, however the extra size is only a result of an abnormally large cancerous tumor.
i wish i could use any move of an anime
>>750926735
too much?
>>750927035
Granted, but you can't die
>>750927035
Granted, but you become a slow faggot zombie
>>750927035
Granted, but now you are an undead monster.
>>750927035
Granted, but you feel your body decompose/get cremated
>>750926845
by you become a street whore who gets raped for a fiver. for every fiver you have to be raped. so technically you have infinite money. also you get raped to death by a massive faggot called op.
I wish I could die quickly and painlessly.
>>750926872
The wish is.... you to become the cushion. Well you dont, you turn into the grass outside. Enjoy your new life
>>750927082
Granted, but you can't move out from your mother's basement
>>750926989
Granted, but she will nag you, constantly spend your money and the sex will dry up to the point where you are masturbating in the shower every night and any time you bring sex up she guilt trips you about how you don't love her, you only love sex.
>>750927157
Granted, but in the days before you die you regain happiness and your will to live.
>>750924382
i wish i was rich
>>750926871
but you end up looking like this, and you get raped to death by a massive faggot called op.
>>750927035
Granted, but only inside
>>750927184
Isn't that 99% of women?
>>750927229
Granted, welcome to your new life Richard.
>>750927229
Granted, but you get raped to death by a massive faggot called OP's obese sister
I wish I didn't want to die
>>750927229
Granted but by third world country standards
>>750927157
Granted but you didn't reply to one of those posts so your mother dies in her sleep tonight.
i wish my tongue could break everything
>>750927316
Granted but you die anyways
>>750927266
*BEEP BOOP*
INCEL DETECTED!
>>750927157
Granted, but you are revived 8 minutes later at the hospital, $30,000 in debt for medical expenses.
>>750927316
granted, but you get raped to death by a massive faggot called op.
>>750926916
Granted but it's not hot at all.
>>750927316
Granted, but you die.
>>750927316
Granted but you have a terminal illness
I wish op would stop snorting dried cum
>>750927336
it breaks your skull. and you get raped to death by a massive faggot called op.
>>750927229
Granted, u are a billionaire in Zimbabwe
>>750927336
Granted, you mow break every person's heart you talk to.
>>750926440
>>750927336
It does. The first rhing, your own mouth.
I wish I got a (you) on this post
I wish I could be friends with Ashley again and even be able to hold her hand.
>>750927424
HA!!! I WAS A GAY SUICIDAL ALL ALONG
>>750927474
Granted but Ashley has a cock now
>>750927254
Oof
>>750927470
Granted but your life is still shit.
>>750927470
Granted but its anon calling you a faggot, you fucking faggot
>>750927432
Daaaaamn
>>750927489
Granted
>>750927316
Granted, but it only goes away for 24 hours at a time after you've done a good deed for a stranger.
>>750924382
I wish i could get fucked(fuck you anon kek)
>>750927432
Damn
>>750927499
I'm okay with this.
I wish that whoever considers replying to this post would instantly die.
I wish I could win a game of Fortnite
>>750927555
kek
i wish kim bombed the u.s
>>750927651
Granted, but you are the one that dies.
>>750927651
PLEASE
>>750927608
Granted, but you get raped by the same sex
>>750927687
Same
>>750927698
Kek
>>750927474
but you both get raped to death by a massive faggot called op.
>>750927693
Me too
>>750927651
Granted, but each person gets a chance to post a wish before they die.
I wish I could poopie on Kate Upton's boobies
>>750927693
>>750927761
but trump gets raped to death by a massive faggot called op.
>>750927379
[laughs in free health care]
I wish I could get trips or higher
>>750927710
Granted, but you re the one who will get fucked instead of me
i wish i could poop out a puppy every 48 hours
>>750924729
>I
Granted but you don't get to choose where
>>750927809
Topkek
Wish I could tell her how I feel
>>750927817
granted, buy everyone else does too
>>750927413
Granted, he snorts it in liquid form now
>>750927809
[Laughs that you died on US soil]
>>750927651
but each and every corpse get's shoved up your anus, killing you.
>>750927857
Granted but she doesnt feel that way about you
>>750927840
Granted but it's a wolf puppy and the pack is only a few hundred feet away
>>750925000
Granted but you will never see him
>>750927857
you get raped to death by a massive faggot called op.
>>750927857
Granted, but she rejects you
>>750927907
the best price to pay my friend
>>750927899
But that's just real life?
>>750925381
Granted You can see through walls but only when gay sex is happening behind them
I wish OP wasn't faggot
I wish I could poopie on Kate Upton's boobies!!!
>>750927608
Granted, but only by rotten cucumbers getting shoved in your boypucci by your grandma
>>750927921
I wish you'd stop posting this unfunny, autistic, cringey shit.
>>750925394
>care
Granted but the women will die in a week
>>750926349
Granted, but only 6 inches off the ground, and only naked, since clothes will weigh you down.
i wish normality was every guy fucking a camel and every girl dryhumping furniture
>>750927792
Granted but halfway through it you realise you're not into it
>>750926295
Granted, it's the lottery from that Shirley Jackson book.
I wish this post would get dubs
>>750928133
Granted, checked
>>750924815
underrated
i wish i was the best songwriter of all time
>>750925629
Granted but the animals are assholes
>>750928133
Nicee
>>750928194
Granted but you write porno music
>>750928021
Granted, but instead your mom dies in her sleep tonight
>>750925655
Granted but it only works on old women
>>750928194
Granted, but you get no credit for writing songs
>>750928252
Porno music? Is that a thing?
I wish I were a cute anime girl!
