>Dystopic /b/ apartment
T-terry here...there's a-a buttom that we have t-to press to clear out the cum. S-somone had a two year old s-sticky note on it. It literally does all the w-work
>presses button
S-security to the sixth floor please! A-all oldfags officers, n-neo-cons, and sociopaths, please respond.
I-in before "n-not your personal army"
APT 707 Here.
Maintenence will NOT clean cum and shit up. It was declared an hour ago. I have dispatched aborigonals to do the honors.
1014 here. 707 can you let me in? I brought Reese's Pieces and barbecue Lays
>>748215830
Tell maint that the cable is out. All I get is public access "Jesus Chatline".
>>748215864
Fuck yeah, come on up brother.
>>748215659
ur a nigger
Can modfags stop deleting the thread?
>>748215830
W-well all I'm s-saying is that the system was d-designed to manually clean it. I d-don't know why we've been f-flooding the bottom floors with p-penile batter
>>748215967
It reached limit. That thread was like an hour old just like the one before it. This is the 3rd one :) Funny shit. I haven't had this much fun on 4chan in ages.
>>748215989
1014: Does this mean the AC works now?
This is control.
Be advised, we are running severely low on maintenance personnel. Seminal fluid and other bio liquid cleanups are currently paused across all floors. Incentive programs will be put online to encourage tenants to contribute in cleaning.
>>748215989
And please stop throwing your Guy Fawkes masks down the laundry chutes! I haven't had clean clothes in months, cunts!
>>748216135
Send someone to 222.6, they keep killing maintenance
>>748216057
TELL THE MODFAGS TO STOP DELETING IT!!!
NOW!!!!!!!!!!
>>748216135
IT's a constant rain of jizz from the upper floors. It seems to be a contest....a 24 hour contest to see who they can jizz on. < floor 200 and its just a super jack fest over the balcony!
>>748216228
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748216228
Maintenence can we get this guy a butt plug and some valium, stat?
>>748216226
This is control.
A team has been dispatched to investigate. We remind all citizens that snitching regularly makes the tower run up to 30% more efficiently.
>>748216088
Y-yes. That was also t-turned off. B-but I'm not allowed to t-turn it on
T-the H.I.T.L.E.R. is still r-rebooting. Fucking Norton
1014: My milk end up getting that missile? Should I drop another?
>>748216249
This is control.
Unfortunately, upper levels house premium citizens, and laws can not be enforced there. We apologize for any inconveniences they cause.
Floor 189 we found a paper saying its from floor 9000 saying they are gonna attack us
>>748216154
I d-don't k-know what a Man Fucks m-mask is
>>748216389
It looks like the dudes from Good Mythical Morning are on floor 400 and complaining about the smell and the "slippery stairs". Can we get someone up there to talk to these wankers?
>>748216365
Is it because of the shit in the vents?
>>748216295
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748216613
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
Guys, if nobody makes a thread like this tomorrow I'll make one from scratch.
>>748216632
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748216479
Obviously fake. The elevators don't work and that's way too high to walk
This is control.
Can we please have the fuckwit stop impersonating tenants of the building?
911 here. Don't you fuckers know you have to dial 9 to get out? I'm sick of hearing of all your fucking problems
>>748216758
it was that 499 guy's fault.
>>748216652
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748216758
The windows were open havent you heard of tp ropes?
>>748216652
Hey Fuckwit 1-3 stop impersonating me
>>748216652
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
My dog has been receiving a staggering amount of booty calls.
>>748216851
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748216872
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748216917
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748216944
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748216861
9000 floors? The Upper floor guys are too big of pussies to so that
>>748216966
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217010
True true im gonna investigate it tho
>>748216990
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748216602
N-no, it costs money. Oh C-christ what's in the vents n-now?
>>748217008
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217032
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748216767
Thanks control. I'll be sure to leave a 5 star review on yelp
>>748217071
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217098
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748216767
T-this is c-control.
Can we please h-have the fuckwit stop impersonating t-tenants of the building?
>>748217128
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217085
This is control.
Be advised, maintenance, there is quite alot of shit in the vents. We recommend you ignore all reports of it.
>>748217154
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217085
Shit. Cum probably too, knowing this building
>>748217164
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
Dear, Fuckwit
I humbly request you stop impersonating me.
Yours truly,
OP
>>748217190
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217229
I left my aborted fetus in there!
Room 505 has rastafarians in there.. There's lots of smoke and funny music coming out of the room.,
>>748217229
W-why d-do you guys s-shit and cum in the v-vents? Each standard h-human d-domocile has two bathrooms
>>748217269
>>748217269
>>748217269
>>748217269
>>748217269
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217277
>>748217251
>>748217222
>>748217190
>>748217154
>>748217164
fucking stop already. It isn't funny.
>>748217269
You're not op, I'm op!
>>748217397
>>748217384
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217360
Why do you type out your stutter?
Maintenance De-Con team assembled. Should we address the sewage in the ventilation system or the lake of spunk in the main atrium first?
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217360
Because this isn't a standard human block, It's a tard zoo
>>748217476
>>748217482
>>748217498
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217490
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217269
I'm OP! Give me my (You)s!
>>748217519
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217519
Please imitate me , screwsmart!
This is Billy in Requisition! I'm only going to say this once again...if you need emergency weapons and med supplies, you have to fill out forms 3-A and I-6h. I'm going to lunch!
>>748217543
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217575
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217482
Maintenance be warned. the last 4 guys that did that job died. At least 1 was cut in half and the others suffocted in jizz or shit.
Have at it fellas!
>>748217597
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217476
terry is the only guy alive in maintenance and it's his first day.
what happened to the 6 level blood bath? did those guys leave with the last thread?
>>748217650
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217602
>>748217620
congrats on ruining a thread that people have been enjoying for 3 hours.
>>748217482
This is control.
Please make your way to Maintenance room for briefing and mandatory cigarette break.
>>748217738
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217482
Go on strike. Less copy pasta, moar meme sauce
Hello folks, the annual /b/lock landlord elections are currently underway.
We're electing FOUR worthy candidates, so please submit your NAME and project goals in response to this post.
The best 4 candidates AS DETERMINED by your community will then face off into the primaries, which will look something like this.
In the pre-primary four will debate against one other opponent, and finally two will be eliminated
In the final primary, two will face off in a debate.
Please submit now!
>>748217797
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
Hello? This is Marmaduke, from the bottom underground floor.
I've been hearing banging noises and screams all around, and i think i saw a fez laying around.
I'm afraid we may have roaches.
>>748217800
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217800
10-4. On orur way. Wait wtf is this? 2 Liter bottles of cum and rubbers EVERYWHERE?
>>748217841
>>748217855
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH
>>748217876
>>748217895
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217893
sshhh you're boring now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EoD_xP4yco
EVERYONE JOIN THIS PIECE OF SHITS YOUTUBE LIVE... HES CHARGING PEOPLE MONEY JUST TO TALK
>SHIT IN THE CEREAL HES EATING THEN THROW IN IN HIS FACE
>>748217915
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217944
>>748217945
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217855
Herr Jerry always wins, what's the point? He invented the H.I.T.L.E.R. and works at a soup kitchen
>>748217915
All you have to do for rent is to post MLP memes once a day! jesus!
>>748217895
This is control.
We have a slight issue with storage, you might run into some strategical cum/piss bottles. We are working on organizing an effective warehousing system.
Anyone want to switch apartments with me? I hate here on the Andy Sixx wing.
>stinks like literal shit
>still
>>748217944
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217989
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217993
>>748218001
>>748218007
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217650
Do I get head of maintenance or requisitions in accounting dept to sign off on the purchasing of some extra equipment?
We've also lost a couple team members to suicides spunk asphyxiation, we need someone to head down to Home Depot and pick up some more day workers.
ok so we found the people that went missing a few months ago in the UG levels
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218076
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217989
Do I need to remind you the importance of democracy, even in this cesspool?
As usual Herr Jerry is running.
>>748218082
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218001
Control, this is maint.
You're going to need a BIG warehouse.
over
>>748218132
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
1014: The Fuckwits have invaded up to my level. Fuck it, I'm taking my chances with the mad max shit outside. Anyone know where the exit is?
>>748218166
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218154
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218189
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748217855
My name is Marmaduke Velásquez and i will remove every impersonator and fuckwit from the apartment building, alongside developing a gas-dispensing shekel!
>>748217476
I h-have a s-stutter? Jesus C-christ why didn't a-anyone say anything?! I-I've been t-alking to a quart-ter million people over t-the intercom all day!
>>748218200
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218189
The exit's have been welded shut due to contamination. We're on our own boys.
>>748218189
It's in the lobby, next to the reception hall
>>748218241
>>748218251
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218166
This is control.
We realize sizable space is required for proper storage of all bottles. The tower is facing numerous issues, progress is slow.
>>748218228
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218228
If you toss all the shekels over the balcony, you're bound to take some jews with you.
>>748218241
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
Hey folks, -358 here.
I'm fucking untouchable. I will NOT pay my taxes.
>>748218241
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218299
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218132
Well who else is going to run? Billy? Terry? The 707 guys?
>>748218357
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
fuckwit here
reminder that rping is absolute fucking cancer and you fags all need to go back to /r/eddit
I will not stop until these threads are no more
>>748218398
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218432
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218398
707 aint up for election. He's just sitting here in his pajamas watching John Wick 2 on the flatscreen eating french bread pizzas.
>>748218476
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218451
Fuckwit, impersonate me.
im going to blow up the school in 800
>>748218492
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218398
Did 707 abandon ship?
>>748218398
Only terry and Marmaduke, apparently.
>>748218507
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218357
>snitch to control, we got another oat freedom fighter
>>748218432
This is control.
We appreciate you explaining your actions. Here at the tower, we always want to better understand the tenants, and make life here more efficient.
>>748218432
Go fuck yourself. Go make a rekt thread - be original right? RIGhT?
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>floor 638 here
we have dildo launchers and melee weapons available!
>>748216295
kek
>>748218568
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218573
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218541
I'm here! I'm getting a shovel for the rubbers and catshit.
>>748218603
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218432
>what is /tg/
Don't impersonate oldfags, fuckwit
>>748218635
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218561
This is control.
Oat freedom fighter has been noted in the log. appropriate teams have been notified.
>>748218656
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218680
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218561
Dispatch the Oat Hunters!
There can be no dissidence!
>>748218432
What's funny is this little kid thinks he's doing awesome work. He;s lonely and sad.
laugh at him.
LAUGH
>>748218635
Doing god's work! Herr Jerry would be proud
>>748218398
>>748218228
>>748217855
>>748218712
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218734
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218736
>>748218742
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748216839
Don't blame me nigger it was 500. He said they were a bunch of street shitting Indians. Heard it when I was having a smoke.
>>748218824
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218742
lol at the flag
This is maintenance, PLEASE stop throwing rubbers, shit and cum on the air conditioning intake vents!
I called the fumigator
>>748218864
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218742
Herr Jerry not only invented the gas dispensing coin, but he perfected it. It seeks out the Jew's maternal bloodline and eliminates them
Also, the soup comes with bread and a warm blanket
>>748218742
>>748218866
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218742
This is control.
We remind you that elections, while allowed, are not legally binding and only ceremonial. We do however encourage any democratic practices, as we believe it creates bonds among tenants.
>>748218905
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218930
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218432
7 years ago people were fine with these threads. You're not preserving what this board used to be and you're not improving anything.
You're turning /b/ into twitter.
>>748218930
The importance of the elections shouldn't be undervalued. Any and all election candidates represent a VOICE in our fine community!
Fuck it, scrap it all, try again later, I'm done for the night and this thread is fucked
This looks like my soul if it physically manifested.
>>748218888
I take fuckwit in the arms and kiss him gently on the lips, feeling his manhood under his pants.
i unzip my fly and hurl out my uncut black cock.
he moans, taking it in his mouth softly, then with more force.
>>748218987
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218999
>>748219004
>>748219010
>>748219011
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748218742
J-jesus Christ, p-president? It's m-my first day.
H-having another p-panic attack.
>>748219033
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748219043
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748219043
Are you a candidate fine sir?
>>748219114
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
This is control.
Resigning for the night.
>>748218742
Can one dick be colored? It'll throw everyone off
STOP POSTING "Don't impersonate me fuckwit." GOD FUCKING DAMN IT WE JUST WANT TO HAVE A GOOD THREAD GOD FUCKING DAMN IT JUST STOP FUCKING POSTING!!!!!!!
>>748219161
Night Crew...
BEER ME!
>>748219161
>>748219162
>>748219178
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748219206
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
F U C K W I T
U
C
K
W
I
T
>>748218987
Twelve years ago it was a thing. Still is on /tg/
>>748219217
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
>>748219162
We at the /b/lock comittee have reviewed your suggestion. Equality is a very hard issue to digest in the /b/lock community, a lot of the anti-nigger electoral bodies will vehemntly react to such a change, but we can definitely push it to the committee.
>>748219246
Don't impersonate me fuckwit.
