Ask a femanon anything.
And no dont wàste your time asking for titties.
Im just tryna kill some time till i pass out
>>748154824
Eh im just bored really.
All honesty on my end though
titties first
gimme titties
You know the rules, tits or gtfo
>>748154793
How old are you?
>>748155093
I am 27. Going to be 28 in december!
>>748155144
Too old.
>>748155144
What're you doing with your life?
>>748155144
Cool. Where are you from?
Tits or get the fuck out.
>>748155188
Sorry im not a 7 year old.
>>748155226
Layin in bed at 4am....killin time?
>>748155252
Los angeles!
>>748155273
Naaaaah
>>748155226
>what're
>>748154793
I personally feel that along with globalism and unchecked immigration, feminism has been one of the most significant contributors to the economic decline of Western societies. By "liberating" women and allowing them to enter the workforce on equal terms with men, the size of the workforce was essentially doubled, with men and women now competing over the same number of jobs. This has devalued labor and made it so that a single income is no longer enough to support a family; in effect, rather than being liberated, women have been forced into the rat race alongside men and are now required to work even if they don't particularly want to. What are your thoughts on this?
>>748154793
Tits or get the fuck out cunt.
Open bobs and show vagener
>wàste
>à
DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME IN LIFE IF YOU CANT SPEAK ENGLISH
GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT
>>748155422
Shitty typing got autocorrected, I'm on phone
>>748155078
>>748155402
No tits? Okay, GTFO bitch.
>>748154793
are you really a femanon or just some bored fag?
>femanon
>>748155387
Nice, never been to LA but I always wanted to go
>>748154793
>dishes out middle school insults
>"aren't I so intellectual!?"
>>748155752
*glad Milo's career is done
show vageen
>>748155500
I agree. I never thought of this 3rd wave feminism to be beneficial...at least not in modern society. I can understand the need for feminism like in some shitty 3rd world country. If anything women are treated much better than men for the longest time now. Now theyre taking spewing shit about how women dont have access to STEM jobs which is bullshit...theyve had access andnchose not to be in them....women dont want the same job as men...its all just talk....throw them on the field and lets see how long they last...
>>748155565
Thats weird....i just hit the "a" on my keyboard...have no clue how that happened...
>>748155593
Nah
>>748155609
No i really am. I mean of course i dont expect you to believe me seeing as im not giving decent proof but thats fine. If you choose to believe otherwise i understand.
>>748155914
You're probably FATIGUED go to slEEP
>>748155914
Your device has been hacked. You need to share your nudes in this thread and you will not have any problems in the future
>>748155989
Possibly...
And i would if i could anon
>>748156023
Nah im good
>>748156000
Trips of almighty truth
>>748154793
Wanna date?
>>748155972
I will report you to the authorities. If you don't post your tits here in 5 minutes, your mother WILL die in her sleep. Immunity doggos will not help. Dubs/trips/quads or higher will not help. The only thing you can do to save her is post your tits. Timestamp is required.
>>748155972
Well, if you are femanon you know how this goes.
Until you can prove otherwise, you'll be treated like any other neckbearded faggot on this website - if you want to be a femanon you have to post tits w/ timestamp.
Or are you new?
>>748156140
Nah im taken
>>748156198
Oh well...she lived a good life i guess
>>748156244
I know exactly how it goes...which is why i said i dont care if you believe me or not.
And child im sure ive been here longer than you haha..
Granted if i say how long ive been here im sure you will reply with some time before mine or maybe you would think id do the same but hell whatever.. 2009 here sup kid?
>>748156506
>>748154793
Over the past decade I have developed increasingly intense obsessions with femdom and cuckoldry. I love the idea of a strong woman dominating me and pegging me, in a firm but loving way.
The thing is, I am an outwardly very masculine and traditional person. I feel a lot of pressure to appear strong and stoic, and so this submissive side of me is a big release.
My question: do you think I could ever indulge in these fetishes with a serious long term gf without it hurting our relationship? I am terrified that opening up about this at all will make her lose all respect for me and attraction to me.
>>748156524
>>748154793
Can we get a picture to prove you are who you say you are. Dosent have to be nude
>>748156545
>>748156569
>>748154793
>And no dont wàste your time asking for titties.
then why even bother asking you anything you dumb shit fuck cunt.
>>748156587
>>748156614
>>748156630
>>748156535
Hard to say...it really just depeneds on the kinda girl you end up with. Some girls are very open and willing to do things just for you or are into that shit themselves...i say once you get comfortable with a woman and the relationship is on a good foundation then you can bring that sort of stuff up...dont ever try to sneak those kinda things in when you guys are doing it though...it could freak her out and ruin the mood...better just to have a casual intimate talk about it.
>>748156557
Well i cant provide a timestamp. Im laying here in the dark and trying to get sleepy. I mean sure i got pics of myself but i have a feeling its gonna lead to even more doubt
>>748155972
Keanu?
>>748156893
Open bobs and show vagener u slut
>>748156809
thanks for the response. yeah definitely not something to bring up in the moment. I'd like to try to enjoy myself while being more assertive, since that would be less embarrassing for me and probably more enjoyable for her.
>>748156435
2008, sage goes in all fields.
>>748156923
I wish
>>748157095
>>748157024
I hope it goes well for you..
Personally i cannot stand a submissive man...the thought of me taking charge or poking any holes that arent mine turn me off big time...to.me thats like having sex with a gay man.
Not trying to give your hopes up im just giving my own thoughts on it.
I have a fellow female friend who on the contrary loooooves to dominate her man and this guy is a pretty masculine guy but she tells me how shes got him to be submissive and peg him an stuff and she gets off on it so you can always find a girl like her somewhere i assume haha
>>748157041
>i just so happened to be here one year before you
Oh how convenient.
>>748156893
Not for me at least. And I am as well. Thinking about drinking a bit now. Try drinking some vodka
MODS! this bitch won't show us her tits! Ban her!
>>748157405
Well fine.
Also its 5am..drinking now will screw me over for work tomorrow
>>748157641
You cant get b& for that...dont pretend to act so new
>>748157732
What is your opinion of the military opening up all jobs to women despite some experimental integrated units that the Marines tried out? Integrated units were just not as effective.
girl on the interwebz lol
>>748154793
Since the OP doesn't follow the rules, I have decided to hijack this thread.
I am 23 and the only reason I get invited to parties is the fact that I am a magician.
AMA
>>748157957
I dont think women belong in the military...its as simple as that.
>>748158042
No one cares loser.
>>748158042
What is your best magic trick?
>>748155669
kek'd
>>748158048
Keep the mega memes coming
>>748158146
Well there are so many to choose from, but if I had no other choice, I would say the trick where I burn someone's personal belongings. I love it when people react angry or upset at first and then are in total shock when I make the thing I "supposedly" burned reappear.
>>748157957
Also i like the effort to speak to me about such subjects to prove some sort of "vapid and clueless" girly nature about myself.
Granted i dont claim to be a genius or amything.
Though politics and the military are of little to no interest to me.
Im a white woman in california i dont have to worry about those things.
So in short...im just an ignorant american.
>>748158272
That's rather impressive.
Do you belive you may become the next Houdini?
>>748158042
How good of a magician are you?
>>748158298
Are small penors (4 inches) acceptable?
https://youtu.be/nC8uM7LKS6s
THoughts on this song?
Thoughts on this painting?
>>748158588
Of course. Size doesnt matter unless its an actual micropenis.
Some of the best sex ive had has been with smaller guys.
Its all about how you use it
>>748158413
Thank you, but I highly doubt it.
I work two jobs basically. I have a boring office job and the other one is well a magician. I sometimes work at clubs or shows in hope that I get discovered, but has happened yet.
>>748158536
I would call myself an alright magician. I still fuck up some tricks, but I am trying my very best.
Do you want to die on a daily basis, if not you aren't a real 4chan'er
Good thread OP
>>748154793
Just cause you "claim" to be femanon, doesn't mean the rules don't apply you retarded fucking faggot
>>748158848
>tiresome
>>748158703
Cannot listen to audio at the moment...
I suppose its a nice painting?
Doesnt have anything that really stands out to me
>>748154793
I am uncut and suffer from peyronie's.
Do I even have a chance?
If OP claims to be fem but will not prove it with tits.
That makes this a dog shit thread
SURRENDER THE FUCKING THREAD TO MAGIC MAN OR ELSE
>>748158770
To say that question defines me as a "real 4channer" is utterly idiotic.
But yes i do.
>>748158934
>>748158971
not OP but ffs you're a boring person
>>748158875
>implying bullying bitches till they TIMESTAMP their tits doesn't work
Faggot
OOOO W____W____W OOOO
O___O _W__WW__W_ O___O
O___O __WW__WW__ O___O
OOOO ___W____W___OOOO
*-_/ WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS \_-*
>>748158887
Never had heard of peyronies before. Just looked it up.
I had a guy whos dick curled up. It was odd but it felt good.
He never mentioned his erections to be painful so i cannot say if this is what he had
Hey cuties.
OP here.
Ok, you win, here's my tits
>>748158962
>magician desperate for attention
No one cares
>>748159064
Uh since when does that fucking work?
Maybe on the mentally handicapped lol
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>748159211
>when does that work
Fuck off newfag
Lurk Moar
>>748159160
Different person, but I just like magicians
>>748159266
>>748159144
Nice try... No one's falling for that bait unless they've never seen a woman before.
>>748159266
Not new at all.
Like i said...probably works for the mentally handicapped
>>748159293
>>748154793
>>748159144
>>748159306
and also you're not OP
My job is so fucking unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
>>748159329
>not new
Such a newfag thing to say
Lurk Moar faggot, who gave you permission to post
WEAPONIZED AUTISM
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>748159400
Ugh youre pretty cringey dude...just go away before you embarass yourself....pretty sure ive been on here before you were born
I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door….
Yo it's tessa brooks
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
>>748159466
White Knight Autist confirmed
I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.
>>748159509
Fun fact:
Dogs like to look at their owners while they poop because it gives them a sense of comfort. They feel very vulnerable in that posistion and seeing their owner makes them feel safe
Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air
I begged and pleaded with her the other day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kissin' and she gave me my ticket
I put my Walkman on and said I might as well kick it
First class, yo this is bad,
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass
Is this what the people of Bel Air livin' like
Hm this might be alright!
I whistled for a cab and when it came near the
License plate said 'Fresh' and had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought now forget it, yo home to Bel Air
I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabbie, yo Holmes smell ya later
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel Air
>>748159144
Fuck off m8.
>>748159591
>so new you assume that OP is a random white knight
Wow autism is confirmed thats for sure
REASONS WHY 4CHAN NEEDS EMOJIS
1)They are a great expressive representation of how a poster feels.
2)Sometimes a person will post something ironic but his post will seem serious confusing the entire thread.
3)They wouldn't take up the image limit like useless reaction images
4)We can have custom ones, like a lenny face one or the challenge accepted guy.
5)We can limit it to 1-3 emojis per post to discourage shit posting.
6)All the best social media websites have already enabled them.
>>748159702
OP here
This person is a faggot
>>748159550
Win
Every response in the thread that was ANYTHING other than "Tits or GTFO" is a newfag cancerous faggot and needs to die
Tits or GTFO
>>748159761
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF WHAT DID YOU FUCKING CALL ME?
A FAGGOT?
DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT FAGGOT EVEN MEANS? IT MEANS A HOMOSEXUAL. A FUCKING QUEER. A WHOOPSY. A PRANCING LALA FRUITY BOY. YOU COME HERE,
AND CALL ME FUCKING THAT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY GIGABYTES OF PORNOGRAPHY FEATURING ONLY FUCKING !!!FEMALES!! I HAVE? DO YOU HAVE ANY
IDEA HOW MANY TIMES A DAY I MASTURBATE TO THIS COLLECTION, HOW MANY HOURS I SPEND EXPANDING IT? NO, NO YOU FUCKING DON'T, YOU JUST COME IN
HERE AND MAKE A FUCKING JUDGEMENT ON ME LIKE YOu"RE SOME KIND OF JUDGER OF FAGS WHEN I STILL SMELL OF THE SEMEN FROM JACKING IT TO THE PUSSY
OF A FUCKING FEMALE THIS BOARD ISN"T FUCKING /GAY/ ALRIGHT WHIPE THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FUCKING FACE. I BET I HAVE AT LEAST TEN TIMES THE AMOUNT OF PICTURES OF VAGINA YOU DO, FAGGOT FAG FAG FRUITY
WHOOPSY DOO-DOO LAA LAA SCOUT BOY GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD
I like how OP isn't even replying anymore. You've succesfully killed this thread, everyone. My hat's off to you.
>>748159950
Ive been replying wtf???
>>748155188
this
>>748155387
its 4 am go the fuck to sleep
>>748159986
Once again sorry.
Then again it sure beats being a 15 year old edge lord
>>748159836
/thread
>>748160002
6 am now....im tryin
OP here. Is anyone else sick of how posters on /b/ try to act edgy and like bad asses even when a serious discussion thread is created? Will you people give it a rest, no one knows who you are, no one cares, and chances are in real life you are fucking nobodies or else why would you be trying so hard to impress people on anonymous internet message boards? Go make your own thread if you want to shitpost.
>>748159974
Shut the hell up, faggot.
>>748160133
Youre not OP. I am.
Though i agree with what was said so....okay ill allow it
>>748154793
Whats your height?
OP claiming ID
>>748160175
Mad because you somehow thought you drove me away? Haha.
(Though i dont see how you could come to that conclusion in the first place newfriend)
I always wanted to be a Jew, but then I found out that I was a Nazi, because my family are German. But that also gave me some pleasure. What can I say? I understand Hitler. But errr, I think he did some wrong things, absolutely, but I can see him sitting him in his bunker. I'm just saying that think I understand the man. He's not what you would call a "good guy", but I understand much about him and I sympathise with him a little bit. But I mean come on, I'm not for the Second World War, and I’m not against Jews, except Susanne Bier, not even Susanne Bier, that was also a joke. I am of course very much for Jews, no, not too much, because Israel is a pain in the ass, but still…
>>748160196
Excuse me? I'm OP. And I'll agree with what you said, regardless.
>>748160230
Im 5'5...close to 5'6
People who enjoy flat chests are intellectually superior, and I'll explain why.
Your average male imbecile will chase after a woman who has a gigantic chest because at the time it's looks appealing. The woman in question in more than likely young in age and hasn't descended into middle are or pregnancy. With their poor outlook to the future, they don't see that in years to come after gravity takes over and childbirth does it's thing, their chest will be saggy and unappealing.
Now flat chests in general look distinguished right off the bat. It provides more maneuverability during such rigorous things like coitus, yet they're still big enough to attract the opposite sex and provide males with what their innate nature longs for. What's more, during middle age and pregnancy they're expected to grow ever so slightly (more so during pregnancy), where in gravity will not take it's effects as harshly when compared to someone who has a large chest to begin with and they'll eventually turn into a perfect size between an a/b cup after all is done and said. Those who enjoy flat chests now subconsciously know that in the future someone with a flat chest will end up looking better than one who has a large chest, physically speaking.
Flat chest superiority.
>>748160280
Yea...nice try...i dont really see what the point is here
>>748160133
Tits. Or. Get. The. Fuck. Out. Just in case you weren't sure of what GTFO meant.
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
>>748160363
Dont care
Also thats no OP youre talkin to but doesnt matter
Guys, c'me on! I'm OP. Don't listen to these imbeciles.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.
Gomenasai, my name is Ken-Sama
I'm a 27 year old American Otaku (Anime fan for you gaijins). I draw Anime and Manga on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior Japanese games. (Disgaea, Final Fantasy, Persona series)
I train with my Katana every day, this superior weapon can cut clean through steel because it is folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my sword license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.
I speak Japanese fluently, both Kanji and the Osaka dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Japanese history and their bushido code, which I follow 100%
When I get my Japanese visa, I am moving to Tokyo to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Studio Ghibli or a game designer!
I own several kimonos, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Japan, so I can fit in easier. I bow to my elders and seniors and speak Japanese as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.
>>748154793
Screens' lights prevents the brain from making the hormones to "pass out" wat do?
That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Bastard Sword” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.
Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I’m pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:
(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years.
Okay OP out now...its 6 am and i tjink i can sleeep now. Thanks for the entertainment losers
So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant.
>>748157732
Is that you op? Is yes then I want moar.
Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?
>>748158042
How do i do the waterfall shuffle?
Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper.
>>748158720
How should I use it?
The wolf I will follow into the storm
To find your heart, its passion displaced
By ire ever growing hardening into stone
Amidst the cold to hold you in a heated embrace
You flee my dream come the morning
Your scent - berries tart, lilac sweet
To dream of raven locks entwisted, stormy
Of violet eyes, glistening as you weep
Because no tits
>>748158042
Is it worth learning magic tricks? Can I get laid?
Trust me folks you don't wanna see her tits. You wouldn't be the same after
>>748154976
>>748155078
>>748155144
>>748155387
>>748155402
>>748155697
>GET! THE! FUCK! OUT! YOU! ATTENTION! WHORE!
>>748158042
Cock magic?
>>748154793
Aren't you a dyke and look like an ol hairy man?
Still no tits? Gtfo
