Tell me something interesting about yourself!
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Tell me something interesting about yourself!
>>748123166
I want to fuck OP.
>>748123302
Get in line booooiiiii
>>748123406
We running a train?
>>748123166
My penis smells like goat cheese but taste like ground beef but my cum taste like mashed potatoes. I also like to eat mash potatoes out of a butthole
>>748123442
Depends on where you want to be in it
>>748123472
Yeah okay Bevis
>>748123511
On your cock.
>>748123166
I jerk off for little Russian girls on cam sites.
>>748123575
So you're gonna be the conductor
Who's gonna be the train cars?
>>748123511
Wtf does that mean
>>748123586
This is slightly disturbing
The fact that they're Russian is also oddly specific
>>748123651
What you said sounds like dialog from Beavis and Butthead
>>748123659
Slavic girls are fucking horny sluts. Also I love Fried rice from my local Panda.
>>748123166
>Tell me something interesting about yourself!
Well the thing is I kinda get turned on by women being shot and killed in combat. Just imagining them staggering and whimpering from the pain, slumped against a tree or something, alone in the cold forest in a fierce firefight with blood going all down their legs and hands. Death has always given me a kind of boner ever since I was young, I didn't like watching movies with battles because when people died their death screams would give me a huge erection. I used to dryhump the ground when i was a kid playing "dead" during war games and when i got older and had a sexual awakening I realized I enjoyed thinking about female soldiers getting killed, or executed, imagining them quivering in fear and utterly helpless as their death approaches
>>748123815
The more you know! Who doesn't love fried rice?
>>748123883
That is a bit disturbing tbh, especially the bit about the dry humping...
>>748123884
I've ordered fried rice twice in two days. It's becoming a freaking addiction.
>>748123970
As long as you have other food in your diet and exercise some, you should be fine
>>748123701
Oh well I'm not joking
>>748124072
Neither were they
>>748124057
I get plenty of exercise from my job. Sewer cleaning and tving, Also drain pipe repair and tving. It's brutal in the warmer seasons.
>>748124203
That sounds like some dirty work friend
Does it pay well at least?
>>748124243
Pays every week and good money.
>>748124337
Like how much per hour? Idk if they could pay me any amount of money to do that job tbh
>>748124151
Wanna have lots -o- sex?
>>748124432
Depends. How good are you?
>>748124407
Lol prefer to keep that a secret.
>>748124584
Why? I make $20/hr
>>748124610
Doing what?
>>748124516
Pretty good and very pleasing
>>748124678
Car insurance claims
Not the most glorious of jobs, but it pays the bills and I live in a very expensive part of SoCal
>>748124688
Hmmm.... Perhaps.
Ded thread, ded life
>>748123166
I'M HOME, SWEETY. GIVE PAPA SOME SUGAR.
>>748125557
[that one scene from the Shining with the woman screaming]
Whelp, guess I'll just come back later
The cringe is too strong
>>748126731
>>748126731
>>748126731
>>748126731
>>748126731
>>748126731
>>748123166
i sell propain and propain related injuriys
>>748126886
Do you hit people with propane tanks or use the propane to light them on fire?
I'm staying up to late a drinking to much. You remember me?
>>748123166
I am a nihilist
Not so interesting, huh?
nigga wat
>>748123621
Your sweet booty for one.
My gf make me cum in her mother heels sometimes
>>748127555
just your scent :/
>>748123166
I fucked my cousin when I was 4.
>>748130312
Sorry I reck of booze all the time :(
I'm tring to cut back, really I am.
>>748130320
Hmm, Im interested to here that story
Post greentext?
Sorry got caught up playing Soul Calibur V with a friend
>>748127555
I do indeed, welcome back
>>748129249
Nigga huh?
>>748130174
O-oh jeez
>>748130254
Mother heels?
>>748130320
How does one even do this?
>>748123166
No u tell me something interesting about yourself
>>748130912
I ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE, BUDDY.
>>748130841
People still play that game?
What is your favorite alcohol?
>>748131023
It's one of my favorite games! I have Natsu as my wallpaper :3
I'd have to go with spiced rum for my favorite alcohol. Cheers btw, drinking as well
>>748130254
>>748130841
Don't you think cum on her mother's heels is interesting. Lol
>>748131346
Oh you mean like you're cumming on her shoes? Nigga what the fuck why
I lost my virginity at the age of 6
>>748130967
I'm fluent in 2 languages
I'm learning russian and piano as a hobby not sure if interesting enuff tbh
Wbu
>>748131088
It's not a bad game.
Spiced Rum huh, Kraken or Captain?
>>748123166
I'm a useless fuck who could make something of himself if he tried, but instead masturbates, plays video games, binge eats, and sleep deprives himself on 4chan every night. Too much of a coward to an hero
>>748131483
You still slayin' that pussy today?
>>748131484
Which languages? I play drums, learning to play the bass actually because of lack of space/people being willing to tolerate the noise
>>748131497
Kraken all the way baby
>>748131567
All you need is a bit of motivation! What are you passionate about?
>>748130841
Sex friend?
>>748131396
Why not! It's hot thinking about her feet wearing my dried cum
>>748131696
No, I don't have any sex friends
>>748131719
Don't you think she might notice eventually?
>>748131633
Music, and that's it. But playing an instrument is boring as hell to me, so I'm just cursed i guess. Maybe someday i'll just drive out somewhere and drink a Brompton cocktail, go peacefully. Not for a while though. Maybe there's something salvageable here.
Doubt it though.
>>748131633
It actually ignited my perversion before the beginning of puberty, so i had more sex as a child (hey guess what I found out wanna try) than I have recently (senior), but I do have someone almost begging to hop my johnson so theres that
>>748131823
Want one?
I work as a gay escort.
>>748131719
>>748131823
I hope she will notice it someday soon, what she can do about it? Will she ask me (or her daughter) gently if i came in/on her shoes?
>>748130738
>>748130841
> Live in a trailer with parents and brother
>Cousins come over one 8 other is same age as me
>We start playing in me and Bros room
>Nothing weird at 1st
> Then older cousin suggest we pair up
>She gets with bro I get with other
>They didn't do anything
>However they talk me and other cus into fuckn
>Cus that's same age as me is fat like not this but fat
>Me and cus both naked
Noshame.jpg
> I bend her over on the bed
>I take my small peepee and play with her butthole
Feelstingly.gif
>Get tip in and move for about 30 sec
>My mom walks in with pizza rolls
> Say hey Mom and continue "playing"
> My mom flips shit
> Makes me call cousins mom and tell her what I did.
>While balling my eyes out I say I fucked your daughter
>I got blamed for it all even tho I told them everything
> I don't like fat bitches to this day
>Was haunted by what I did for years by being ridiculed by my older bro
I was born without an immune system
>>748132370
To clarify on how they talked me into it. When I was a kid I literally didn't care I did just about anything w/o a second. Also trusted bro and older cousin alot.
>>748131633
Well now I know what get you when we ever meet up.
>>748131856
Of course there's something there! You have a lot of free time, get good at your instrument
>>748131873
Well hey, that doesn't sound too bad tbh
>>748131944
I mean, I wouldn't say no?
>>748132068
Do you enjoy it?
>>748132243
Yeah, I suppose that would be a bit awkward...
>>748132370
That's not really sex then, whew. I began to think there was some kinda strange shit
>>748132590
ARE YOU A BUBBLE BOY????
>>748132898
Alcohol is the quickest way to my.... heart
>>748133104
It's also a quick way to other things too!
>>748133284
N-nani?!??!
>>748133104
Then get over here, there's some holes that need attending to.
i shitpost
>>748132243
>>748133104
We did the same thing with her underwears and bras, she have a large breast and i think my gf wanna secretly fuck her mom, i know for sure that she is bisex, i think there's a probability
>>748133305
I was referring to health and mental issues.
What where you thinking?
>>748133104
Nope, but i get injections every week that keep me alive
>>748133366
Where is "here"?
>>748133473
Oh my gosh no way, so do I!!!!!!
>>748133559
3some maybe potentially?
>>748133684
Oh... well yeah, it's definitely a way to that as well I guess
>>748133718
Are they like...bad or expensive or anything?
>>748133799
Do you want the D?
(You want the D)
>>748133799
>>748133559
Her family is so fucking conservative, she can't tell her family she is bi, they'll freak out, i wonder how beautiful will be
>>748134148
I would not mind the D
Sunny D! A balanced part of this nutritious breakfast!
>>748134209
Ha ha! You play the innocent card well.
>>748133799
Come to Utah and I'll show you "here".
I'm getting bored if technology and have picked up writing. And drawing. I'm not very good and it's pissing me off because with tech, it's a simple matter of fucking with it until you know why it does what it does, and how to alters it's outcomes. With art of any form, it takes inherent talent of which I am seemingly lacking.
I spent nine years writing a 4400 page space opera
>>748134316
You've been playing go fish and I've been playing poker for years
>>748134807
Have you tried getting some critique of your work? Lord knows there's plenty of that on the internet
>>748134928
And? How did it go?
>>748133799
If i was an americunt itd be costing me 20k a month, but im not so thats good
>>748135189
>Critique
Nah not really. I'd probably just end up burning them or tossing them if I entertained that idea for too long. I'm not a confident person. Which is why I post my stuff here.
I'm 22 and have no job and no car but i have a girlfriend
>>748135407
No job or car but managed to rope in a woman. Is she ugly as sin? Or a QT?
I'm 25 with a new car already paid off, a job making $61k per year, and I'm still a virgin living with my folks and spending too much money in anime.
>>748135189
Drinking any more? how much can you handle?
>>748135602
She have a cute face nothing special, with big ass but very small waistline and small tits, she does anal so the big ass is useful
>>748135309
Oh you lucky fuck
You a limey or some Euro?
>>748135407
Good for you! Is she older or younger?
>>748135717
Quiiiiite a lot. I am a drinker
>>748123166
I'm an epileptic that recently had surgery and am fighting like hell to get my life back together
>>748136157
>>748135407
Younger, she's 18
>>748136157
No im an Aussie
>>748136237
They have surgery for epilepsy?
>>748136258
THAT explains it!
>>748136315
Oh so a limey reject! Nice
I'm a very overly nice man, who is very self sacrificing, but I have a very big king complex, especially over women.
>>748136435
I'm not quite sure what a king complex is, but I assume it clashes?
>>748136032
Well that's good for you anon. I hope she never gets bored of whatever is keeping her with you. You should probably start getting on the whole job and car bit. Sweeten the deal that much more.
>>748136504
its the exact same thing as a god complex, but I don't really want to be a god. I have a desire to rule over people yadda yadda yadda, thus king complex
>>748136345
For some forms of it, yeah (my seizures don't have a trigger aside from the broad term of "stress"). They literally popped my skull open, took out a part of my brain that was malfunctioning, and patched me back up.
It'll be a year next week since the surgery. I've still had seizures since, but they are far less severe, to the point where I can ignore them if I really try. They couldn't get all of the messed up bits without the risk of rendering me mute or unable to understand language at all
>>748136157
Yeah, I'm heavy drinker too! You properly guessed that tho.
Where do you live? What time zone?
>>748136800
That's actually kinda cool... what part of the brain did they take out?
>>748136813
Woo! I'm in SoCal
>>748136928
Damn.
>>748123166
There's nothing interesting about myself. I'm a jobless, friendless, kissless, hugless virgin. I'm ugly as fuck, and despite having a decent body (not muscly but not chubby), I'm still considered disgusting.
>>748136687
Thx anon, and why are u alone? With all these pluses?
I'm an aspiring trap dating a closeted trans man. Over the last few months we've essentially swapped appearances gender wise, with me closer to the feminine tomboy appearance he had, and him closer to the disheveled nerdy guy look I had.
>>748136928
SoCal! Central Texas here!
Hope your safe from the northern parts being on fire.
>>748137178
No confidence which stems from my appearance which results in extremely low self esteem. Even when out or on a date, I assume they're only out for a free meal or to humor me. They're not actually there because I'm good looking or interesting. Can't tell you the number bed of times I've had the chance for romance or even just sex and I chickened out of it because "they're just acting so they can hurt me later"
I got sick of it and stopped trying
>>748136928
A bit of my speech center in the frontal lobe. I had to go to speech therapy for roughly 3 months to pick up my old ability to speak again, I speak a little bit slower now. Not enough to impair me, but people that knew me notice it.
Still have a few twitches here and there, but they're far less serious than they were. Neurologist says it may be my jaw muscles 'winding down' after seizing 24/7 for 5 years.
That said, I was relieved of my old job during recovery, so...yay job searching?
>>748123166
Well aren’t you a cutie patootie.
I think it is interesting that using a pic of a cute animu girl can bring in so many responses. I guess it’s just the feeling youkre talking to someone nice.
And I had an online bf once.
>>748137419
I just can tell you that if i had found a gf, you can do it too, maybe even easier
>>748134928
>I spent nine years writing a 4400 page space opera
I've also taken shits that took a very long time..
>>748137419
Eat less/better, and lower your standards. Eventually you'll end up in a situation where you can convince yourself that they actually want you (some of them already do, but you probably won't believe that) and follow through. Following through boosts confidence, allowing you to raise standards to about your own level and believe they are into you. At that point it's kinda like riding a bike, you've figured out enough to get started, but have to put effort in to get farther.
>>748137622
Sounds pretty gay anon
>>748136800
A few yesrs ago they’d have stuck ice picks in your eye and lobotimized you. Glad things are bette though.
Did OP die?
>>748139056
Maybe they are in Cali. Shits on fire yo!
>>748137053
Too far?
>>748137169
Surely you must have something?
>>748137275
That's pretty cool actually. How did you meet?
>>748137290
I'm pretty far removed from the fires, but thanks :3
>>748137486
What kinda jobs are you looking for?
>>748137622
I find that it's the open-ended question that draws people actually. Did you like your online bf?
>>748139056
Was playing a game, will be popping in an out. I'm at a friend's house!
>>748139236
But how will he know my love for him if he's on fire?
>>748139844
Yeah. How am I supposed to lure you into my rape dungeon if you're 2 states away?
Ian, why do you still hang around here? I assumed all of us were long gone
>>748140092
With promises of candy, of course!
>>748140824
Because it's fun and the other place is slow
>>748141709
I've got peanut butter M&Ms.
>>748141906
Yooooo those are my favorite! My grandma would always have a bowl of them when I would go visit
>>748123166
I'm sick and have lost my voice.
>>748142148
They are waiting, in my dungeon.
Bump
Here goes random true story
>15 years old
>make school shooting jokes on daily basis
>One day me and one friend out of 8 of us get arrested for disorderly conduct I
>pretty sure the police profiled us by mental health history
>speculated we would do a school shooting
>interrogate us both for hours in the middle of the night.
>Both too tired, young and naive to understand Miranda rights
> I tell them what they wanna hear
>get to jail
>find out my real charges are 5 charges of conspiracy to commit aggravated murder
>each carries a 10 year in prison minimum sentence
>charge me as an adult, him as a juvenile
>bail bond gets lowered from 400,000 to 25,000 (best attorney ever)
>get bailed out after 37 days (best grandpa ever too)
>spend 7 months on house arrest going over case shit, with a 50 year shadow hanging over my 15 year old life
>get extremely depressed. No motivation to do things
>on the verge of either suicide or fleeing the country
>settlement offer. They offer to lower it to two counts of disorderly conduct I, class A misdemeanor and class C felony
>they knew their case was shit
>the offer gave me up to a year in a treatment program and a maximum of 5 years of probation
>spend nine months in a program, move to the next state over since my town hates me due to the media blowing the case extremely out of proportion
>still on probation
I'm not new to this site or anything but that was my first green text story. I still find it really hard not to include every single detail when I tell the story. Pic unrelated.
>>748123166
Every therapist I've talked to thinks I'm a psychopath
How have you been, Colbs
I'm the child of an illegal immigrant and I'm now an illegal immigrant to where my dads' parents came from.
>>748142237
Your voice still sings through the keyboard my friend
>>748142245
Brb coming to... wherever you are
>>748142886
Sheeeeiiiittttt.....
>>748143186
And you are?
I'm fine
>>748143763
Are you Mexican? Trump told me to hate you
>>748123166
I'm stupid.
I like to suck dicks and I want to be a girl.
>>748143779
I told you, I'm in Utah. Now get in this fat ass if you want them M&Ms.
>>748143999
Oh good, you're not CIS SCUM like the rest of these posters
You are the superior life form
>>748144079
Sorry I'm a bottom
>>748143999
>I'm stupid.
>I like to suck dicks and I want to be a girl.
--99% of /b/tards
>>748144105
How fat is the bottom?
>>748144089
I'm not quite sure what do you mean. I'm too lazy to read whole thread, here were guys from CIS?
>>748144185
Really? So many anons want to be girls?
>>748143870
NZ-born with Danish/Swedish parents.
>>748144434
>Really? So many anons want to be girls?
yes
>>748144586
Strangely.
>>748144089
Oh sorry, I'm really stupid, lol. I thought u'r talking not about cisgenders but about "Commonwealth of Independent States".
>>748123166
>Hetero CIS male
>Take arm-size dildos in the ass as hobby
>Definitely not into dudes
>Would suck a hot chick with a dick or feminine herm.
>Definitely not gay
>Would swallow a hot load if "she" would let me
>Definitely not homosexual
>>748123166
>be me
>age: early twenties
>virgin
>suffered from depression for almost 7 years
>attempted suicide: 2
>still live with parents
>suffer from peyronie's disease (scar tissue that causes the dick to bent)
>socially isolated
>/pol/ completely warped my mind
>have still no idea about what i want to be when I am finished (jobwise)
Interesting enough?
>>748143779
Bebop :^)
That's good
>>748144255
I've been told it's nice
>>748144434
Cis is like... nevermind, you're a bad tranny
>>748144482
That's a cool mix honestly. Be proud!
>>748144918
LOL
Oh you
>>748144931
Very homosexual.
>>748145015
That seems to be a common theme here....
>>748145287
Oh lawd. pls no ban.
>>748145391
Honestly I'm glad to see you around here again, need more not complete shit threads
>>748145391
I need pics.
>>748145391
Getting deported in 3 weeks, though. Border dudes caught up. Getting sent back to a place a feel no connection to, and with no legal way to get back to Denmark is kinda shit.
>>748145607
I do bring the quality
>>748145667
You'll have to make do with the thought ;)
>>748145763
Fuuuuck. At least it's socialist so you'll be not completely fucked
>>748146028
Yes
here have a free pic my friend just sent me from years ago
>>748123166
I miss Alice.
I have cerebral palsy
I died and am now stuck in limbo, help.
>>748146028
NZ has essentially no social support structure, so I kinda will be. It'll be fun being homeless in my birth country again.
Been living with dirty hippies near Jægerspris for the past year, so I haven't actually got any money.
>>748146124
Nice one D
>>748146171
Alice is still around you dingus
>>748146288
EVERYTHING NOT AMERICAN IS SOCIALIST. THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE.
>>748146310
Pray to Jesus
>>748146328
Neat! It should be fun to travel
>>748146028
>socialist
>implying this is a good thing
>>748146433
It is a great thing. Down with the capitalist oppressors
>>748146028
Not good enough.
>>748146638
Sorry bud, I don't just go around giving that stuff away
>>748146414
Not to NZ it isn't.
Not when you've spent 26 years there, with four of those saving every cent in a shitty economy just so you could afford to leave.
Great for foreigners to visit for a month or two, though, sure.
>>748146790
But you get to see where they filmed the Lord of the Rings!
how big is your penis op
>>748146951
I grew up about 30 minutes away from Hobbiton.
Its a sheep paddock with doors.
Been up Mt Doom. It was covered in snow.
>>748146703
You should.
>>748146414
thnx
anything new with you or just same old stuffs
>>748123166
Hello, czechem.
Something interesting ? Uhh...
Idk fuck. I'm addicted to hentai, is that interesting ?
>>748147105
HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE
>>748147150
That's awesome dude, you're lucky
>>748147229
I'm not a slut!
>>748147321
Yeah, pretty much. Working and living
sometimes I can't even, but I still have to just every day
do you know how that feels, strange anime girl?
>>748148206
But I want you to be.
show penis op
>>748148206
The prospect of leaving was the only thing really keeping me going, though.
>>748148220
Oh boy do I
>>748148639
Sometimes fantasies have to stay as such
>>748148700
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>748148873
Find a new thing to keep you going!
>>748149286
There isn't really much in NZ worth doing.
>>748149715
Do you live closeish to the water?
Why are you pretending to be a cartoon girl and talking to men
>>748148206
ah, well as long as nothing crazy bad is going on.
>>748149763
I do now, but not while I was in NZ.
>>748149897
I very much admit to being a 3d male, idk where you get pretending to be a cartoon girl from
>>748150044
I seem to avoid crazy and bad for the most part naturally
>>748150077
Isn't NZ an island?
>>748150322
Sure. Doesn't mean everywhere is near the sea.
I was about a 4-5hr drive from the nearest coast.
>>748150622
God damn. I'm only an hour away at most....
>>748150692
You're really lucky to live that close to the coast.
I'm a time traveler
>>748150692
Aye. At the moment, I'm about a 30min walk away, with woods about 15min the other way.
In NZ it was just paddocks everywhere.
>>748150874
That's one of the benefits of living in Cali!
>>748150884
Can you give me the winning lottery numbers?
>>748150920
I love the woods.... part of the shitty thing about California is that there's no fucking green
Here you are OP.
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0ACrnDTTqZo
>>748151005
what name do you go by, OP?
>>748151006
Hnnnnggggg that voice
It's not yours, but holy shit
>>748151038
I am nameless and timeless
>>748151005
Im not allowed to alter history obviously, but I can probably answer some questions.
>>748151079
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0KElypK8QQX
>>748151079
are you the same chitoge from the waifu thread
>>748151087
Hmmm.... I'm at a loss of what to ask that wouldn't alter history
>>748151129
Oh god take me
>>748151131
Chitoge? Nah. I do have a chitoge folder tho
Actually, even if I could, I can't. I'm not a time travel expert. My mother tried to explain this part to me, but its like explaining what a vehicle transmission does to someone who knows nothing about engines.
>>748151160
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1dtQ6f9ObZM
hello OP
something interesting? my ex would be suicidal if i told her to stop being so clingy
I'm a time traveler, ask me stuff :P Also time travelers aren't hyper intelligent so keep the questions basic. Also I can't give you specifics about future events.
>>748123472
im hungry now
I'm too good at getting vulnerable people to fall for me like their life depends on it.
Your waifu is a SHIT
I honestly don't know why people think people would travel to the past just to tell people what happens later. Our motives are pretty much always uninteresting and not worth talking about
>>748151346
Oh god my heart
>>748151407
Well then good thing you haven't told her that? ...have you?
>>748151623
What's life like in the future?
>>748151678
I bet you couldn't get me to fall for you
>>748151729
NO, YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>748152247
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0Pxybbr3Hl1
>>748152423
No, just... your voice is amazing
>>748152555
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1TU0arauNLQ
>>748152664
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0aZVmGkCTos
>>748152664
I want you to add me on Steam and/or Discord so that I can request multiple things
>>748154708
Oh, go ahead.
What is it?
>>748155268
I should say, let's go with Discord.
>>748155268
>>748155442
YtSeJamz #0423
>>748155830
Request sent.
By the vocal fish you seek.
>>748123166
Literally the scariest question
It is far too late for me, I'm off to bed
Good night you glorious bastards
>>748156453
Rest well
>>748123166
i have seen your dick
