What's the dumbest thing you did while horny? >be me
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
What's the dumbest thing you did while horny?
>be me
>at best friends house
>watching movie and shes on her panties
>oh shit i need to masturbate
>go to bathroom
>no dirty panties
>fuck
>open trash can
>dirty tampon
>stick tampon in my nose
>proceed to cum
>what i have done?
>>746157350
What...
>>746157350
>Be me 15
>Slip out
>Get chatted up by random dude
>Tell him I'm 19, let him take me home
>Get fucked hard and feel great
>Told him I was on the pill
>Realise in the morning wtf I'd just done
Bump
>>746159367
Gurl?
>>746159745
men take the pill too.
>>746159745
Im sure is some basement dweller
>>746159367
Ay you sed you wuz on da pill. I'm not payin for no abortion!
>>746157350
Why tho?
>>746159745
Yes ofc
>>746159933
Luckily I didn't get pregnant
>>746157350
I would stick a sock inside the hole of a toliet paper and warp it around it and than put loation in the sock than fuck it. Wasnt all that bad tbh. This was during my teenage years
Went into the bathroom with a girl I knew who thought I was attractive.
Don't remember if I was invited in or not lol
Start making out and I finger her without asking.
Let her go out then I wait awhile to leave.
Come out and get smacked in the face by my cousins gf. Says it was an accident.
Relize years later she actually punched me for fingering that bitch.
Ended up fucking her and using her for her pills lol broke her heart
>>746157350
I lost my virginity to a 17yo spic and i was 14. The thing is that i watched waaay to much porn before that day so i asked her if she would let me put it in her ass. She said yes, anyway i couldnt put in so i started fingering her ass idk i sucked my fingers and they literally were brown from shit. Also, i came inside her and i told her to pee so the cum would came out. I didnt knew how the female body worked. Then she proceeded to fuck my two friends. 3 months later shr call us telling she was pregnant. Pretty sure the baby is mine
>>746157350
I use to put the plunger handle up my ass while masturbating in the bathroom. A few times put on my mothers panties and would nasturbate while imagining I was getting pounded by big dick. I was a fucked up child.
>>746161436
I'm also not gay. Just was curious.
>>746159367
>be me 46
>chatting up some 19yo chick
>total slut
>take her home and fuck her bareback
>kick her out after and make her walk home
>mfw
>>746157350
When i was 17 there was a girl in my neighborhood sleeping in her car with her feet hanging out of the window. I grabbed her feet and sucked her toes for like 10 seconds while she was resisting. She started screaming and i get the fuck out of there faster than usain bolt. 5 minutes later i saw like 3 police cars driving around the neighborhood. Good times.
>>746157350
paid for porn
>>746161483
Ooh no you're definitely gay. Don't deny it, bro.
>>746157350
My ex.
>>746161483
Lmao. When i was like 13 i was masturbating in the shower and idk why i putted liquid soap in my asshole and it fucking burned bad. I spend 1 hour crying in the shower. I did not cummed lol
>>746157350
>around 16
>on rock climbing team
>coach is this young married couple, girl is super attractive to me
>think about her constantly
>one day i am belaying her and i look up to see the outline od her pussy in her harness
>try to hide boner while she finishes her climb
>afterwards run to bathroom and start jacking off to the image of her cameltoe
>notice a bloody towell in the bathroom garbage
>remember overhearing her bitching about being on her period. Get idea.
>unwrap paper towel to find a very bloody tampon.
>stick tampon in my mouth and suck the blood out of it while i jack off furiously.
>tastes like metallicy vagina
>preddygud.jpeg
>cum all over the bathroom wall.
>look in mirror and judge myself as I spit out blood and try to remove blood from teeth.
>an hour later i repeat the experiance with the same tampon, birth of period fetish.
>dont even know if it was her tampon, dont care cuz only young people worked/climbed there.
>>746161750
>be me
>17
>chilling in car
>listening to music while smoking weed
>total degenerate hippy
>let my bare feet hang out window while I suck on the sweet reefer stick
>out of no where my feet get shoved into this current neckbeards mouth
>feels like a cow is sucking on them
>I kick free and run inside to call the police
>but not before I masturbated
>>746161907
i feel this
>>746161738
I did this once. I fucked some Rumanian chick from my town. Nutted in her mouth without asking her and she puked. Then proceed to put my pants on and called a taxi without telling her anything. She started crying and left walking because she had no money.
I actually feel bad
Wore multiple female family members clothes as a male, masterbate in them, stick all kinds of shit up my ass and fuck myself, get drunk/high fuck lots of men off craigslist. Fucked myself up in the head to this day.
>>746162198
holy fuck r u serious
>>746161750
Holy fucking kek. Thats some sexual predator stuff right there, m8.
>>746157350
I wrapped my cock and balls up with a phone charger and it got stuck
>>746162263
Don't feel bad. You treated a whore like a whore.
>>746162198
I did the same with a friends dirty tampon. I saw my teeth in the mirror and they were all red. Had to brush my teeth so the taste of blood would go out. I also judged myself in the mirror
>>746161859
I'm not. Have had a girlfriend for the last 8 years.
>>746162416
Yeah...im not crazy about it like i used to be in my teenage years, but i still like bloody period sex and eating girls out and getting it all over my face. Dont get to do it that often cuz my wife is not a fan of how messy it is
>>746161246
Top shelf many Keks!
>>746162764
Fuck man I love it to. My wife hates it as well. 10 years. Got my red wings twice beginning of marriage and on our 5 anniversary. Fucking delicious.
>>746157350
Some time i spend the night in my beastfriends house and we were drunk as fuck. She passed out and i started sucking her toes in a hardcore way and she wake up and told me: duuude, what the fuck? Thats nasty, goo sleep in the couch. And i was like: i wasnt doing anything. Thankfully, the next day when she woke up she told me: why u sleeping in the couch weirdo? Apparently she didnt remember.
>>746157350
holy shit how long have Maisie Williams nudes been out?
>>746163586
who the fuck doesnt go for tits when taking advantage?
>>746163706
Fucking kek
>>746163586
Did they taste good? I wish i had sexy drunk friends. None of my friends drinks more than 2 beers
>me in my teens horny as fuck
>at friends house watching a movie
>movie is done play ps2 and he doesn't get phased when he's into something and will ignore you for the most part
>horny, need to jerk it, not at home so no jerking material
>go to the washroom, see his moms room open
>get in there and look for anything to get me off
>see drawer of panties and bras and her sextoys
>pictures of her and various people on the stand too
>take one of her panties and start jerking into it
>would've stolen it and thrown it away
>finished, eyes closed and all while cumming
>boner dies down, look to my right and his mom who i didn't even realize came home yet watched for who knows how long
>came up to me and told me i owe her a new set
>scared as fuck
>gave her $100 and apologized
>she took the money and never mentioned it again
probably not that dumb, but still felt dumb at that time and for the next few years
>>746162462
Lmao I saw your post about it earlier
>>746163879
She was all covered up. Only her feet hanging out. Also, im a horny footfag.
>>746162462
I saw your post about that earlier kek
>>746157350
When i was like 12 i used to tell my cousin to blow my dog. She actually did it and meanwhile i was masturbating. Im pretty sure she remember that
>>746163943
lel, did she seem mad? probably just saw an easy way to get some new undies.
>>746164464
somewhere between annoyed and don't give a shit was her expression. probably annoyed thinking i blew my load everywhere on her shit, but thank goodness i used that pantie because it caught everything.
still, shit was mad awkward for the next few years.
>>746164822
damn, probably had to deal with her own sons shit often enough she just doesn't care anymore, lol.
I've known some ladies who would have been flattered.
>>746165071
that could very well be the case now that i think about how he was at that age.
it definitely wasn't anything like what i see and porn and read on here from others from time that's for sure.
>>746157350
I once met some random slut in a bar and took her to my place. I came in her mouth and proceeded to french kiss her while she still had my cum in her mouth. Idk why i did that but i felt like a faggot. She liked it tho
>>746160488
How did you fit your dick in it? Are you Asian?
>>746157350
I've been stealing panties from my best friends since we were 14 and we are 24 now. Some days ago we were drunk af and she was folding her clean clothes and told me: ive been missing so many panties. Do you know where they are, anon? And started laughing. I didnt said a word and i laughed nervously. That shit was awkward.
>>746159367
Where does a 15 year old girl even go when she slips out?
>>746165891
She knows and likes it. Get it in.
>>746165891
She knows.
>>746165891
when I go to my friends house I always go to the bathroom and check if his mom left any recently and I'll steal them
>>746162764
I love period sex, how do I make my boyfriend like it?
>>746166093
>>746166442
Of course she knows but it was awkward anyway. We already fucked before, specially when we are both single. But shes in a relationship right now so im not getting her pussy anytime soon. I kinda feel bad dor her bf sometimes because she still sleeps naked when i spend the night there lol.
>>746164388
w..what the fuck?
>>746157350
I was super drunk
>pregamed at friends before club
>got a ride with my gfs and their boyfriends to club
>at club proceed to drink tall beers and jager (this was on top of vodka and schnapps)
> grind with random guy
>invite him to girls bathroom with me
>only 2 stalls, bigger stall only one with sink
>fuck in the stall
>we Fuck on the sink and break it
>girls bitch because they can't get to sink
>fuck for a long time because he has whiskey dick
>get thrown out of bathroom
>I walk away while bouncer holds dude
>bouncer calls the cops
>leave with panties in hand
>none of my friends bring it up even though I know they know
Never have done anything like that ever again. Whenever I have a slutty thought I think of this and shame myself out of it
>>746167131
Yeah. Our relationship is pretty bad right now. She grew up and realized all the fucked up shit i used to make her do. I was a messed up kid
>UC Berkeley undergrad
>Shit-face drunk and horny as hell
>Unzip my pants and pull my hard cock out while walking down University avenue
>50 year old businessman pulls over and asks if I need a ride home
>Get in his car
>His cock is out and hard too
>He leans over and sucks me off while he jacks off and cums all over himself
>Never got ride home
>>746157350
>Be me
>Horny
>No money
>Just out of hospital from psych eval
>Call hooker I had seen before
>Go to hooker with hammer up jacket sleeve
>Box cutter in 1 pocket
>handcuffs in other pocket
>Answers door in black lingerie and pink fuzzy
slippers
>Go into bathroom to psych self up for murder rape (not necessarily in that order)
>Come out
>She's on bed with no panties telling me to taste it
>Tastes good man.jpeg
>Fuck her
>Start to leave
>"Hey where'd you leave the donation?"
>"In the bathroom" troll face.jpeg
>Run away
>Bitch didn't ask for the money up front and it saved her life.
>>746167272
Tits or GTFO. You know the rules.
>>746167938
Newfag doesn't when to use tits or gtfo
I watched my best friend getting railed by her bf through and open window and i was masturbating. After that i started crying because im a faggot and i still love her. We dated for a time before but we were too much of a friends to make it work.
>>746166019
Just wandered randomly round town tbh
>>746160174
>>746167786
Kind of sexy
>>746157350
>staying at grandmother's house over summer vacation
>grandma's hot friend comes by to visit and takes her shoes off
>i sneak the shoes away and jerk off into them while smelling/licking the inside
>immediately after i bust, i realize how fucked i am because the load is massive
>spend a bunch of time trying to wipe it up and wash it off
>she still made a strange face for a second when she put her shoe on anyway
>i fapped to the memory of her making that face multiple times
>>746168265
When a bitch tries posting without showing us her tits first. I've been here since 2006, go fuck yourself
>>746168871
Yeah? Want to here a secret? I'm going to abduct and murder a woman sometime this year. I already know who, I just have to do the recon to know when to grab her. Going to take her back to my house in the woods. Rape her while I strangle her unconscious, then revive her and do it again and again. I can't. fucking. wait.
>>746169598
>grandma's hot friend
It was your grandmother's shoe and you know it.
>>746169718
it literally wasn't, my grandmother actually looks like a grandmother, ie gross
her friend was a hot older babe who married for money and the guy died a few years ago
>>746157350
Came in a couple of girls that were underage at the time. Luckily they didn't get pregnant.
>>746169658
>When a bitch tries posting without showing us her tits first. I've been here since 2006, go fuck yourself
If you are not a newfag then you are an idiot. It's used when someone says "I'm a girl and..." for no reason other than letting everyone know they are a girl and deserve special treatment. It's not used for legitimate posts that, because of the facts, imply that the poster is female.
You should stick to what you're best at: scratching your asshole and sniffing your fingers.
>>746168265
You white knighting piece of shit
>she will not reward you with sex
faggot
>>746169924
How underage are we talking, anon?
>>746169658
Do you want to hear a secret?
>>746170802
Good question. If they were underage enough then getting pregnant wouldn't be a possibility, and it wouldn't have anything to do with luck.
>>746170916
DO WANT PLAY GAME????
>>746170979
You'd be surprised, kids start puberty super young now thanks to all the hormones and fat in milk and meat.
>hanging out at cousins house one fine morning solid 9/10 blonde hair blue eyes, great tits and ass
>she goes to bathroom to brush teeth and change out of pajamas
>notice pair of dirty panties lying on floor
>want to sniff
>see discoloration, need to get close
>don't want to pick them up or move them, she may notice
>kneel down and lower myself one inch above her panties
>smells so fucking nice, get boner
>okay enough sniffing, time to get up
>look up, see cousins feet at door
>play it off as though I'm doing push ups
>red faced as fuck, she pretends she didn't see me smelling her panties
>kinda awkward now, but she still calls me up to hang out
>>746157350
>watching movie and shes on her panties
retard can't even take a hint
yep, kids today are not fucking retarded at all
legitimately tried to fuck my own mother
she was creeped out and kinda just blocked it from her head
>>746171441
Greentext that shit bro
>>746171339
We already fucked like 10 times in the past years but she have a bf now. So im not getting that pussy anytime soon
>>746170916
Yes, yes I do.
>>746171441
also friends and i always used to get stoned at my dudes house and when everyone would pass out i had his dog lick my dick until i busted like 4 or 5 times, maybe more. also i played with its dick. super fuckin weird
>>746171861
Do you promise not to tell?
>>746172235
Of course not.
>>746172374
Let me whisper in your ear
>>746172515
Don't be gay.
>>746172538
Say the words you long to hear
>>746172666
"You now have the power to do absolutely anything you wish. Enjoy"
>>746167365
>be me horny as fuck driving up university between mlk and shattuck
>see a lil'fag walking down the st with his cock out
>pull my own out pull over and ask if he needs a ride
>blow him and wack off
>kick him out the car and made my way to the sierra club as guest speaker for the night
>be me
>13
>see anal from video porn VHS
>get DVD walk through of anal
>okay use lube, and start slow
>take sharpie
>put some sort of lube on it
>shove it up my asshole
>oof
>eech
>ow
>hurts
>I go to bed afterwards
>>746172826
I'm in love with you...
>>746173006
You don't have testicles, do you?
>be me
>live with grandparents
>14
>get a huge lust thirsty out if no where
>go in grandparents room and they are not home
>find a didlo and smell it and masterbate
>what the fuck is wrong with me
>>746167365
>UC Berkeley
Stopped reading there. Fuck that place for slandering based Milo.
>>746173148
How old were your grandparents?
>>746173201
>Milo
What a silly faggot. :3
Lmao i fucked my cousin (we didnt knew we were cousins). When my family and med moved to this town my papa said to me: we have relatives here. That girl Wendy was in my class and i used to like her so i took her to my place and fuck her. Some months later my dad told me we were going to visit his cousin. And bam! I entered the house and there was Wendy. That night i text her: we should fuck tomorrow again cousin. And she blocked me lol
>>746162198
First time in forever i've actually read something really repulsive. 10/10
>>746173086
I've known the secret for a week or two
>>746173387
I'm confused
>>746173224
63- grandmother 66- grandfather
>>746173428
Nobody knows just we two
I paid random poor girls from my university to let me suck her toes. Its actually easie than u would think. Most of them cover their face with their hands because 'the shame'.
>>746170655
Why so angry ? What were the results of your psych eval ?
>be me
>really into best friends girl
>we play roleplaying games
>bf's girl plays "a whore who loves her job"
>whole planet in the game is in anarchy
>not a single city controlled by government or law
>she walks in naked to a bathhouse
>she uses an ability that makes everyone attracted to her
>she crits (super effect)
>they proceed to gangbang her
>me and 3 other nerd friends fucking her with our eyes as I spend 30 minutes describing her getting fucked in every hole and crevice
>a midget titfucks her
>she is embarassing the entire time
>red in the face but totally ok with it
>I'm rock hard
>randomly roll how many guys I need to roleplay fucking her
>12
>roll every line of dirty talk if the guys get off
>her boyfriend stares into space after glaring at me
>idgaf
>I'm visibly sweating
>she becomes my gf 2 months later
>lasts a year, she even cheats on her boyfriend for me
>she cheats on me and says she leaves me because "You're a SLUT anon"
>mfw
>>746173491
BUT I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW!
>>746173498
You know what anon, that shit made me laugh so hard, and a woman shouldn't be "Ashamed"
Aleast your not fucking them.
>>746161750
Holy shit. Why did they need 3 for a toe sucker? I don't think they even needed one.
>>746173669
Closer...let me whisper in your ear
>>746173653
i don't know what I just read. How do I play this?
I cummed
>>746173866
Say the words you long to hear
When i was in highschool we had this unisex bathroom which was made for the retarded kid in a wheelchair. We used to call it Kevin's bathroom. All girls used to use that bathroom while on their periid because the bathroom was always clean. I used to get in after every girl leaves the bathroom and suck their used tampons and stuff. I used to put clean toilet paper on trash can so that way i would know the tampon was hers. 1 year later the bathroom was made exclusive for the retarted kid becausr the principal caught and 18yo dude fucking a 13yo first year girl there. Good times.
>>746173653
What the fuck did I just read?
>>746162198
>>746173971
I did. >>746172826
>>746157350
>Be me, 35
>married, 1 kid
>wifey depression and low libido from meds
>we fight all the time
>kid and doggos are subconsciously terrified of me
>I'm frustrated, stressed with grad school
>make a second email, Facebook, etc
>get tinder, OkCupid, POF accounts
>score some pussy
>women were either desperate or cheating on their husbands
>exhaust local woman supply that can host, are willing, etc
>get Grindr
>hooked up with a bunch of guys
>a jealous boyfriend snitches to my wife
>snap out of it
>recommit to my family
>she's been more optimistic about our marriage now than before
>happy family now
>terrible guilt sometimes but she forgives me
This was by far the dumbest thing I ever did while horny. It was six months before I actually talked to her and realized how much of the justification I had thought up was based on lies to make me feel less guilty.
tl;dr - Cheated on my wife for months because I was too horny to actually have a conversation. Lesson: don't watch porn
>>746174095
I'm in love with you
>>746174194
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?
>>746173752
I think because is catalogued as sexual assault, Which it is. Anyway i was just 17 and horny and she was a petite girl, maybe 21yo so i took the risk
>>746174060
She would look much better if she had pale skin.
Why do girls like tan so much...
>>746174251
I've known the secret for a week or two
>>746174139
A lot of cheating/relationship problems are because people aren't openly communicating. you have a down ass chick
>>746161750
>>746163706
Underrated
bought a 2000 dollar sex doll. I dont even know where to keep the thing :s
>>746168265
>Newfag trying to fit in by saying something only a newfag would say
>>746157350
bet they had to shove a cattleprod up his ass for this outcome.
>>746174539
Newfag trying to fit in by calling others newfag.
>>746170507
No, it's always been "Tits or GTFO" period, newfag.
It wasn't until years into that shit newfag chick posters and their white knights tried to retcon fucking rules onto it.
>No you see you only do that when she's attention whoring and I'm totally not so it doesn't apply to me ;)
>>746174139
Sounds like my family. My mothet cheated on my dad and im the result. After that, my dad cheated on my mom with like 30 different women. Happy family right here. Also my real father is very well know doctor in the biggest hospital in my country. My sister says i can get a shit tone of money from him if i wanted. But i cant complain with my life, my dad is a succesfull lawyer as well and he gives me a very nice life. Actually, im his favorite son even thought im the bastard. My mama says that maybe im his son since they never had a paternity test.
>>746171332
You should impregnate your cousin you pussy. If a chick sees you doing that and still wants to chill, she will probably get you off.
>>746174900
You are pretty stupid
>>746175055
So are you a chick, a newfag or both?
>>746173263
Hahaha lmao
How good is was? Cummed inside?
>>746172987
Sharpie in the pooper
Be me 17
Go to my gf
be horny go to her toilet
See her moms panties
Grap a used one
wear it while I masturbate
pull my underwear over it
Go back to my gf still wear her moms panties
>>746174913
I was happy for a sec and then I read it all the way through. Somehow your family is still way less fucked up than mine.
>>746174415
It took a lot of convincing on my part, but I actually didn't like what I was doing, I just kept doing it. I felt disgusted after every time.
>>746175120
It was pretty lame. She was a 5/10 at it best. Shes a religious nut so i had to deal with her sadness after we fucked. I kinda thinks that was her first time. 2/10 it sucked. And no, i used a condom.
>>746174913
I started going to a support group of horny people doing dumb things. Most of the married women who are there are just as fucked up, but I remember preying on them when I cheated on my wife. Even though it takes two to tango, I still feel really dirty about it.
>>746175294
Why thought? Actually, my parents are very happy togheter now. Mostly bc both are getting way too old and they need each other. But my mama suffered seeing my dad cheating on her for like 15 years. But she didnt said anything never because her past (me). Everytime we are drinking alone (me and mama) she always says to me: your drawings are amazing, you draw just like your dad. Kinda sad. I know that guy was like her crush
>>746175751
How old are you? I have a commitment problem. I cant have a relationship because i always fucked up. I cheated on my last gf just 2 days after i ask her to be my girl. And all the girls in town knows that about me, thats why i can only get one night stands. No girl in my town trust me lol. Thankfully im going to college again in a different town in January
Tasty huh?
>>746175550
Any photo of her at least body shoot?
>>746176067
What a pretty history I feel happy for you man
>>746176798
Probably no. That happened like 8 or 9 years ago and i dont follow her social mefia. Anyway, you're not missing much. The last i heard about it is that shes a chef now. Btw i told my dad i fucked her ans he laughed his ass off
>>746161837
Mods!!
>>746157350
When i was like 12 we used to have orgys between me and my cousins (like 7 dudes fucking 2 girls). When we grew up both girls felt the shame and to this very day we dont have a normal cousins relationship because those days lmao.
>>746177170
> told my dad i fucked her ans he laughed his ass off
a dad here.
we may look stupid, like we have no idea what's goin on...
but we do. shit isn't hurting anyone, it's done, and there's no reason to tell the wife b/c she's just gonna try to fix shit that ain't broke.
>>746157350
That bitch looks like that retarded looking tomboy from game of thrones
>>746176067
Because I've had a miserable day and realized I will never have any type of good relationship with my mom because she will never stop being a bitch to me. I told her I hated her for the first time today and I feel bad about it, but I'm way nicer than she'll ever be.
>>746176464
I'm the 35 year old cheating guy.
If you're still chasing every piece of ass you see, don't settle down. Have some fuck buddies and if you really like one then maybe make it more permanent.
If you feel like you can't control yourself, get therapy, and if you still feel horny and out of control, ask a psychiatrist for naltrexone. Alcoholics and heroin addicts take it to reduce their cravings, it works for sex cravings too. Good luck.
>>746176067
Yeah you're lucky to be taking it out through art, I like to think of myself as a writer but I'm self conscious about it. I feel like I can tell so much about someone through whatever they write and I'm not ready to have people make that interpretation about me.
>>746177170
I hope you was not kidding. Lol
Have you talked to her anymore after that? Any interaction?
>>746177775
hey douche bag.
see >>746163706
already brought up.
read teh fucking thread you pleb.
during pe class freshman year of high school we were supposed to walk the track for a while and the chick in front of me had a huge ass and was wearing yoga pants so i went to the bathroom and jacked off.
>>746176464
Yup I went through this. Finally got in a serious relationship because they cheated on me also at the same time. We both never vowed to do it again or it would be over. I always sabotage relationships because I cheat early, then I feel like I don't deserve them . Somehow the even playing field cured it. My advice is next time you're serious don't cheat or tell yourself you'll cheat in a week if you still feel like you want out.
Had a girlfriend but was still hanging out with an ex. Chilling at her house while GF is at work and we end up fucking raw dog. Cum inside her and I leave quickly without washing my cock so I can get home before my GF gets home. Get home just before her so no time for shower. She's in the mood so start foreplay, have an evil grin while she's giving me head.
>>746177629
How old are you? Lmao i went to the beach for like 5 days and when i was back i started my pc abd there was like 20 porn videos downloaded. Asked my mom who used my pc and she replied: yeah, your dad. He was watching porn. Who the fuck downloads porn anymore? His searches on google: latina girl big ass in thongs
He has a latina fetish
>>746177779
That sucks man. I hope it gets better for you.
>>746178137
you fapped in a bathroom. that's your most fucked up story?
>>746169658
I've seen you say this in at least one other thread. Sick larp, bro.
>>746162462
I did not see your post earlier. I feel left out. :-/
I know a guy who has a musical project called Broken Charger Port. You made me think of him. Good job.
>>746178399
ya in a public bathroom at school. for most normal people that's fucking disgusting, forgot i was on /b/ where sucking on used tampons is encouraged.
>>746178055
Last time i talked to her i think it was 3 ir 4 years ago. Shes dating a christian boy now. And no, i was not joking but it was fucking funny. I moved to a new town and between all the girls i end up fucking my cousin kek
>>746178215
i'm 38. i havn't downloaded pron since emule was popular.
and yeah, my wife is laid back, i can totally see her saying "yeah, he was on your laptop, got some porn"
>>746178585
oh dear lord, not a PUBLIC bathroom...
look the fuck out guys. this anon is serious business.
>>746178155
Also, i fucked up relationships of my friends in the past. Like, i end up fucking their gfs. I might have a problem, but tbh i dont see myself going to a therapist.
>>746178780
dude, fuck off
>>746164388
>i know. ill tell her to blow me.
>ill just say, hey cousin, blow me!
>i won't beta out this time!
"Hey cousin, blow m... muh... muh... myyyyyyy dog!"
"Uh.... Okay."
>well, at least i can watch
>and fap
>must not cry...
>tfw you cucked yourself... to your dog.
>>746157350
Sucked off an on duty cop in a public toilet while some old dude sat on my raw dick and took a month's load from me
>>746178780
i like how you're trying to make me feel bad about the fact that the worst thing i've done is jack off in a public bathroom. i'm not proud of doing it, as you shouldn't be with the fucked up shit you've done. you wouldn't go and brag to people you know about the gross shit you've done, you're lying to yourself if you're not ashamed of yourself. jesus christ now i remember why i never go on /b/ anymore.
>>746178585
Hey, dont judge us because we like used tampons. You're literally Hitler! >:(
>>746166584
I'll be your boyfriend. Where you live?
>>746178663
>emule
I remember whe i was young, like 13 and trying to download shrek 1 from emule and when it was downloaded, guess what? Fucking cp
>>746177777
>>746169658
You are going to wind up with a corpse you must dispose of. Have you thought that far ahead?
>>746178997
Lmao. Im still here. I was way to afraid to ask her to blow me bc if my mama knew she would beat my ass. That happened in my backyard and i was just 12
>>746171258
That shit was debunked 10 years ago.
Drinking cow hormones does literally nothing. Cow hormones do not do hormone shit to humans.
>>746178915
gb2 reddit until you are ready to deal with people not liking your posts.
>>746178915
and that's a calm way of saying you are a spineless underage mothersboy faggot...
that is up way past their bedtime who should find their blankee and go to bed...
because 7th grade is rough and you need your sleep.
>>746171441
Monopoly guy?
>>746172096
Gay
>>746179030
I once masturbated in a public bus. There was just 1 girl 3 seats ahead. I was masturbating to her feet. Btw that day i was in my way to buy my ps2. My dad was drubk as fuck that day.
>dad, i want a ps2
>sure, take my credir card and go to the bank
Next day:
Dad: wtf? I paid for that console?
>>746173148
Gotta ask. You male or female?
>>746179277
ya, two different peeps in my area got charged with cp b/c their shared folders had partial cp files but charges were dropped because they were using p2p for music/movies,
>be me
>16 years old
>friend playing video games about 10 feet in front of me
>find really hot picture of his older sister
>oh shit im horny
>start jerking off but he looks back and sees my dick in his my hand
>uh ill be right back
>go to bathroom
>find his moms dirty panties
>she has a yeast infection (I guess) and it smells bad and theres white stuff in them
>cum and gag while sniffing them onto the picture
>go back upstairs and put the picture back in the album with my cum on it
>he asks about it the next week
>idkJake.gif
>>746174251
Are you fucking retarded? Have you never heard of the beatles?
>>746179683
German researchers. They found that in 1860, the average age of the onset of puberty in girls was 16.6 years. In 1920, it was 14.6; in 1950, 13.1; 1980, 12.5; and in 2010, it had dropped to 10.5
Most scientists and health experts believe that the initial decline in the age in puberty was linked to general improvements in health in the west that began in the late 19th century.
>>746179689
>>746179744
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue. You didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>746174139
Damn dude, I don't care how horny I get, if I'm fucking someone besides my wife, it's never gonna be a guy.
You had some gay in you. That's fine.
Don't blame it on porn tho.
I asked my best friend (girl) if i can maybe used her phone to call my mom and she said yes. I went to the bathroom and i send all her nudes to me via whatsapp. Then i deleted the conversation and the data in 'pictures sended' all that in 5 minutes while i faked a conversation with my mother. Idk why but i was sure she would caught me. That happened 3 years ago abd here i am. Shes still my best friend. I didnt knew she actually had nudes. It was a lucky shot
Probably the weirdest thing I've done is jack it in a church bathroom, I'm not even religious but I still feel really weird about it.
>>746180740
Kek i did that once. She was slepping and i took her laptop. I sended all the good stuff to my e-mail
>>746180701
I had a friend when I was in middle school, I always went to his house and we would jerk off watching straight porn together. It wasn't until I was cheating that I was so desperate for sex that I sucked a dick, got sucked, and even topped a guy. He rode me and made me cum hard as fuck too, while I jerked him off and he came on my chest.
I don't blame the porn, but it wasn't until a few month before I started cheating on her that I was regularly watching both straight and gay porn.
>>746180668
good job on the copy/pasta. you sure are a /b/ warrior.
what's next... too soon? or maybe you're going to tell me that the pool is closed? don't get pissy at me because your butt is frosted.
>>746181237
To clarify, I hooked up with half a dozen or so guys, but only topped the one.
>>746178572
I still have the pic from the post sadly had to cut it because it was wrapped around my nugs so tight
>>746173253
>Silly
You mean Dangerous
>>746175055
Nah he's right, if there's a girl she shows her tits or leaves. That's kinda the rule
>>746181486
How/why tf would you do this?!
>>746181831
Yeah, in first place, who cares if you have a vagina? Post them milk bags, whore. Because i dont think any girl who browse /b/ is a 'lady'.
>>746182041
Was horny and curious, one anon on post said to dunk my balls in water...it didn’t work my balls swelled up two times the sized in the pic I had to cut my iPhone charger I didn’t want to because they are like 30 bucks.
>>746166906
I bet you've taken some creepshots. If not, why not?
>>746181292
Nah, I am just baiting, anon. Here, have this. You deserve it
Groped and sniffed my sleeping sisters ass multiple times. Sniffed her ass and fapping at the same time as well. Also took some creepshots
>>746182323
I did indeed. But mostly feet shots. When shes at home she dresses like a homeless. I can say she's maybe 1 of the 3 hottest girls in town. She's naturally beautiful. I mean, she dont know what a gym is but she still keeps beautiful.
>>746171441
greentext please, doesn't matter if it failed.
>>746168495
What town is this again?
>18
>gay friend from freshmen year of high school texts me asking what's up
>previously asked if I wanted a blowjob
>I was high and horny and asked if he could give me a blowjob
>he says to send a dick pic and I do
>tells me to meet up with him next day at local petco
>I go next morning sober and nervous
>he picks me up and blows me in his church clothes while I close my eyes and wish it to be over
>got home and took shower for like 2 hours
>regret.jpg
I'm not gay but had a gay moment, i was just a really horny teenager but as soon as I came I had instant regret. Ever sense blowjobs don't do much for me.
>>746157350
Posted on 4chan
>>746183210
Catholic Church makes everyone horny I've had my fair share of crazy experiences there.
>>746182717
Anyone who wants the pics of my lame ass creeps just reply
When i was like 14, me and my friends used to go to this gay guy place to smoke the expensive weed we had before. Some day my mama gave me $50 to buy science book and i fucking lose the money. So i adk that 40yo gay dude to give me money.
>i'll pay you in 3 days
2 weeks later he send me a text:
>let me blow you fot these $50
Nigga, i'm about to call the fbi.
>nooo, please no.
He gave aroubd $1500 after that. Most faggots are also pedos.
Btw, it wad not the fbi, but the equivalent of the fbi in my country.
>>746183892
Reply
>>746180976
ha, i forgot i did that. thanks for the memory
>>746184115
One moment and I'll have a Dropbox link
>>746183539
MODS
>>746184412
No I promise I would've responded sooner but I was checking this thread out
>>746173110
I jacked off in a:
Bus
Church
My local park
My best friends bathroom
In a lonely street
My frontyard
My backyard
At school
At highschool
At college
At work
Even thought i have a gf, i need to masturbate at least twice per day
>>746184052
>Most faggots are also pedos.
Duh. We've all seen "Boys Beware".
>>746157350
sent a vid of myself jacking off (with my face, fucking dumb I know) to a girl I had been chatting with on tinder. I was so ashamed after I came, that I deleted the app.
The next week (I shit you not) I was partnered with her specifically in a class I didn't know she was in. It was really awkward and I just did most of the assignment and we parted ways.
>>746184788
I also did the bus shit
>>746184788
Nationality?
One time I shoved an egg um my but and it cracked.
>>746184788
Not the craziest thing but I've done it during my band test , we'd have to go in an adjoining room and tape a small piece. So I went in the room played a few bars as practice on flute, didn't hit the record button, hurriedly touched myself, finished and then hit record and played my "test" piece. I went back into the room of about fifty band kids and teacher, hoping they wouldn't notice I was gone a few minutes too long, as you can tell the length of time we are in there...because you can HEAR them playing.
>>746185112
At least it wasn't a mayonnaise jar.
>>746185010
Something like that happened to me. I sended pics of my dick to some random girl on instagram. 2 months later a friend of my come to my fucking pkace with a friend.
>anon, she's Hannah.
Me: h-h-hi Hannah. She very well know what was happening. Thankfully, she didnt say shit about it.
>>746185080
Somewhere in spicland
>>746183821
Prolly he was a Beaner
>>746184115
Hey , 4chan doesn't allow Dropbox link , how can I get em to ya?
>>746185480
Beaners make me queef
>>746185480
I knew it. I swear people just fantasize about all the kids around them at church. I don't but I think adults have done it to me, I've gotten some weird comments. Also the "bad teens" hook up there. I was one of the bad ones but as I am now over 18, I don't go to church anymore.
>>746185584
Are u dumb? Just space bar the thing
A 5 hours thread. Wow
>>746185764
Not working
>>746169658
>>746179469
Anon should consider this
>>746185891
6 hours. Its a rare thing here on /b/land
I once had consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation
>>746186468
With ?
>>746186533
With a bull dog
>>746186533
your mother
>>746186582
>>746186845
Really? Are you guys 12? Mom jokes stoped been funny like a decade ago.
>>746187163
I said bull dog other guy said mother
>>746180668
Yeah fucking right dude a navy seal would not be on four chan maybe o but defiantly not b I saw you at n the other fucking thread today saying the exact fucking thing word for word you obviously are lying go back to imgur
>>746187163
Remember that one time I fucked your mom?
>>746187451
I member
>>746187451
Shut up! XxxPussydestroyer666xxx?
>>746187494
You’re next
Not me dawg I’m xXPoonSlayer69Xx
>>746186147
saved
>be me 13
>live on sixth floor
>went home from school around 2:30
>stand against the door
>realize i forgot my key
>ohshit.png
>call mom
>she will come at 4:00
>i decide to wait next to the door
>it gets boring fast
>timetofap.jpeg
>about to nut
>ohshitohshitohshit
>i nut inside my launchbox
>shove cum filled launchbox into the bag
>success
>mom comes back
>she opens the door for me
>i sprint to my room
>get the launchbox
>go to the shower
>wash launchbox
>never told mom why i had my launchbox in the shower
>>746169658
>>746170655
>>746174539
newfags flaming newfags while oldfags lol
>>746187972
Not even risky enough. Next time nut on your mother's forehead while she's sleeping and then we will talk.
>>746187972
>launchbox
>>746188225
It's been years. Like 1 or 2
Masturbated outside in my backyard once. Almost certain my neighbors caught me but didn't say anything
New fags are what make 4 chan if we didn’t have fag news 4 chan would die
>>746173653
Fuckin' A, were you the DM for that campaign?
> Be me, 21
> in San Diego at popular pub
> land whale is into me
> too drunk. Blinders on
> take land whale to hotel room
> fuck land whale
> rip off condom mid way. Raw dog it.
> my regret isn't that I raw dogged some strange.
> it's that I fucked a land whale.
>>746188502
What can they said? You're on your fucking backyard.
>>746188715
That happened to me. Even thought that happened 5 years ago, my friends still say: anon, remember that time u fucked that walrus?
Balls are sweaty knees weak dick is heavy there jizz on my sweater already your moms poo nanny
>>746188406
newfag is 2 years old LUL
tfw 2 years old too
>>746189000
I've been pretty lucrative in my sexual career. That was my deepest regret. No one knows it happened. But I do. I still remember.
>>746157350
Fucked a stranger without a condom. This happens a lot...
>>746157350
>be me 26m
>been chatting up dudes who want their dick sucked
>chat up with one guy
>sends no facepic
>wtf? too horny
>still up for meeting
>go to subtrain station toilet
>bad idea to start off with
>smells like shit
>wait in stall
>dude knocks
>he's 1/10 ugly af
>let's see what's in his pant
>not much
>smells awful too
>tell him i need to wash my hands
>go out and run the fuck out of there
felt like shit afterwards and washed it down with beer
easily the shittiest meet-up so far
>>746189132
Issa jk. I'm 18 and been browsing for 42 years, nigger.
>>746162476
what, whores aren't people?
had sex with a blow up doll in a public toilet and filmed it
>>746161217
>Ended up fucking her and using her for her pills lol broke her heart
p-p-p-plot twist!
>>746169658
want to hear the story behind this girl. What did she do?
>horny
>write updude on cl
>huge dick
>opens door
>wtf he looks familiar!
>is a teacher at my former school, not a class i took
>can't believe
>go in, too shocked right now
>still in disbelief
>gets on bed
>i suck his huge dick
>cums
>leave
>buy two beers and chug them near railtracks
>freaked out for the rest of the day
>try to erase it from memory
strong regrets
haven't been to any anniversary meetups
>in middle school
>friend keeps telling me his favorite porn is foot joi
>but he pronounced it as "joy"
>sounds super interesting, guess i'll check it out
>go home and google image search foot joy
>for some reason, Helen Lovejoy from Simpsons pops up
>oh...okay?
>decide to lurk moar into simpsons feet
>takes almost 2 hours because people can't draw feet for shit plus they were all fucking yellow
>eventually bust a nut to a picture of Lovejoy's feet
>think to self "my friend is retarded"
>go to school next day
>call friend retarded
It took me 3 years to realize he meant jerk off instructions, not the name Joy.
>family drama for years about my aunt being an incredibly dumb cunt
>mom always bitching about she did something incredibly shitty, like skipping out on babysitting to suck off some dude in the backyard or had some issue posting something revealing on facebook
>create a new facebook account, put in the same birthday as one of her cowboy schmuck neighbors but be vague with the rest of the info, so if she suspects anyone it'll be someone she knows who will get shit on for it
>add her
>send her a message a few days later
>mention i was a guy at a party she met once >she starts sending teasing pics, pics of her masturbating
>see her in person, she has no idea that she's professed a deep longing to swallow my cum and be fucked silly like the stupid cunt she is
>>746190987
>write updude on cl
What's updude?
>>746185409
I used to be a total fuckboy, and feared this would happen to me some day.
>>746191553
Nothing much what about you?
>>746191553
>>746191753
Wait. You literally are exactly 200 posts after his.
Niiiice.
>>746173201
Yet another triggered conservacuck
>>746188715
The Blarney Stone?
>>746161483
>put plunger handle up my ass
>not gay
The fuck is this shit??
>>746170507
This itself kind of proves to me you've been here a while, didn't even realise people still come from then
>>746157350
Well I have a few
>be 15 and horny as fuck
>internet wasn't the thing it is today so have to work hard to get a good fap
>live out in boonies so no access to poon or anything
>live next door to cousins who are never home
>have idea
>go into girl cousins room and do a pantie raid she's 19 at the time
>score room is littered with thongs everywhere
>first time ever doing anything like this and don't know where to start
>start fapping furiously into a red string thong
>not enough need more
>start snorting lace underwear
>need moooar
>find sexy lingerie
>ahhhhhh shit
>for some reason put it on while fapping in thongs and snorting used thongs
>hear door open down stairs and panick
>get dressed as fast as possible and climb on the roof since I can't leave with out them knowing I went in that specific roof
>on roof all of them are outside
>somehow don't see me and go back in
>window is closed somehow so I got stuck on the roof
>look in room and realized my underwear is still in there and that I'm still wearing thong
>spend next two hours formulating plan on escape and what to do about underwear
>break into other cousins room on same floor and proceed to stealth archer around the house with gstring in my ass
>dog finds me but doesn't bark just happy to see me
>fuck off doggo this is serious shit
>doggo has my underwear in mouth
>DOGGO COME BACK
>proceed to get underwear back when mom walks into house
>"has anyone seen anon?"
>shit now I need a cover story
>manage to pass mom, aunt, uncle, and multitude of cousins with contraband in hand
>spend next half hour formulating plan as to where I've been and why I'm carrying underwear with me
>can't fit underwear into pockets
>hmmm I know I'll just wear it dumbass
>proceed to take pants off so I can wear underwear as someone drives by seeing a fifteen year old boy in a gstring and stops
>oh god
>can't run to house because that will pin me
>run in opposite direction pants and underwear in hand
Want more stories?
I cheated on my boyfriend by letting some unshowered (his hair looked soaked 24/7), meth toothed, alcoholic (he literally drank the hand sanitizer every night) finger me in a residential care facility because I was horny and my boyfriend couldn't visit. I wish I said no or stop. I feel so disgusting honestly
>>746193602
You were wear and why?
>>746162239
>be me
>on duty cop (hunting black kids)
>get call that some toe bandit was finessing toes
in a neighborhood a few blocks away
>”10 4”
>pull up to rather low income housing
>see some fat kid hiding behind a dumpster
>think nothing of it
> hysterical petite woman crying about how some behemoth of a child who tongue fucked her toes
>call for backup
>gonna catch this fat toe licking nigger
>>746193817
In a home for the loons. Got court ordered and locked in there for about 6 months before I ran away with my boyfriend. I have BPD or schizo-affective it's not finalized
>>746186147
Dude must have read my book.
The Art of Disposal
by Winston Wolf
>>746194097
You sound like a lot of fun. What other stupid shit have you done?
Take a 100€ loan and go spend it in thaimassage, no money for food.
>super horny and gf gone for weekend
>make bs okc account and start hitting up chicks
>get a reply but bitch is ugly but down
>drive hour away to meet her in dark park
>she's this ugly troll that I mistook for a man
>so horny don't know what to do
>well maybe her body will look better
>body is disgusting like mongrel
>she greedily starts gulping my cock as I'm sitting there disgusted
>something wrong?
>nah let's try fucking
>start gollum with a dick stiff enough to fuck but not enough to enjoy it
ended up leaving and bsing that I had a good time but she could tell I was repulsed. Why I cared about her feelings I have no idea. Was not worth it
>>746194346
Aw thank you anon but I've lived a secluded life so I haven't had too much fun.
I did suck off this 43 year old man in my hospital psych ward bathroom once a couple years ago when I was 18. It was hot and steamy. His dick was the biggest I've taken and still my favorite. He had delusional disorder and was always super suspicious of me being a cop lol
>>746157350
>be me first year in college, far away from home and everyone I knew
>Halloween party, dressed up in sailor moon costume because I think everyone would think it was funny I was dressed like a girl
>get drunk, go to basement recroom of the house where people are getting chill and smoking up
>get stoned, guy tells me I look pretty cute and he'd totally mistake me for a flat chested girl
>he gets really flirty and I get really flirty
>next thing I know I'm lying on the couch with my head in his lap blowing him
>don't even know how that happened
>he comes in my mouth, I swallow, another dick in my face, I start sucking it
>must have blown 7 guys that night in full view of everyone
>no idea why but I had insatiable thirst for dick that night
>never done anything gay since
>fought evil by moonlight
>won love by daylight
>never ran from real fight
>one called Sailor Moon
