Been thinking about becoming an hero alot lately. I can't really think of a reason not to.
Also feels thread
>>746081832
I'll suck your dick if you don't
>>746081930
If you wanna suck my sick I'm not gonna stop you
>>746081832
Why
>>746082017
but will it stop you?
>>746081832
what do you mean by becoming a hero if offing yourself is how your not really a hero just a fag
>>746082159
Newfag detected
>>746082280
yes yes i am
>>746082159
Summer was over 2 days ago, bud.
>>746081832
Anon you got take life by the balls im not sure how old you are or what is your place in life right now but i am going to tell you shit gets better when you make it better.
>>746082133
It's just been one wall after another. Got a bad draw in life and have asthma I can barely control, basically allergic to the world outside. I feel so alone in this world. I have friends but even when I'm with them I feel so alone still. Basically haunted on a day to day basis with memories of my exs, most of which have ghosted me. I don't really see a reason to continue trying
>>746082321
an hero is a term used by 4channers to mean they want to kill themselves :->
i dont want to get to deep into what happen because fuck all that let just say some kid died and another kid made a typo
I'll dump some feels shit.
>>746082567
>>746081832
bump with feels
>>746082618
>>746082649
>>746082567
Thank you kind anon
>>746082667
>>746082674
I really like these threads
>>746082733
Still, I wouldn't an hero. It may not feel like it now, and at the sake of sounding cliche'.. It really does get better.
>>746082486
Sounds like youre constantly living in the past instead of appreciating the small things for what they are
>>746082752
I'm not a genius, but my gf is so fucking retarded emotionally and intellectually that I don't know if I can keep this relationship going on. I feel like shit.
>>746082993
You deserve better. If you can't see a future with someone, don't hold on.
>>746081832
If most people are keen on being sensational and happy all the time the people that feel the most pain are the most unique. Try to be happy, but realize your perspective on the world (your emotional state) offers contrast and a new lens on an otherwise linear track of thinking in the world.
That's the best reason i could think of. Good luck and good health anon.
>>746083056
I have 4 years with her now, I'm fucking miserable because I always know that she was like that and I don't know what fucking reason make me believe that she could change and be better. I know it is all my fault and I don't know what to do.
>>746082159
welcome to /b/ newfag
just remember you're here forever
>>746083278
I feel you. But ultimately, if you're four years in and this unhappy with the relationship you should get out before you find yourself with half of your lifespan dedicated to a marriage that doesn't make you happy. Just be honest with her. If she's not the one, she's not the one.
My grandfather passed in January. He was the most important person in my life, and now I can't find my rhythm to live by. I think about him so much that It hurts to breathe sometimes.
I'm in a really dark place all the time now.
My gf let me bleed out emotionally. Hardly any signs of affection, no sex, not even time to meet me. She sees that the neglects my needs and even admitted she rarely fullfills any of my wishes. And now we kind of broke up or not. I love her and she treats me lovingly as a person but not as her bf.
>>746083278
Thats a tuffy
Have you tried cheating?
Sounds like shes too dumb to find out
Or even dumb enough to do it and not think she is
>>746083491
Not even therapy. Im basically telling him being depressed serves a purpose. What therapist would ever say that. This is the internet man.
>>746082850
Trust me, it isn't like I'm not trying. ive gone to therapists, been taking my antidepressant like I'm supposed to. Its just all so bleak. I fin myself struggling to even leave my room some days. I try to surround myself with good people and good times but at the end of the day I fond myself wondering just why I'm still going
we stream hey arnold sometimes on ankhstream
>>746083763
Sounds like you know therapists
>>746083578
Thanks anon. Reality is so simple when you don't let your emotions to control you.
>>746082486
Don't let other people being shitty bring you down. It's probably just your taste in women, as opposed to anything about you specifically. Try reaching outside of your norm, be yourself and see how it goes. You have to take it one day at a time my man, then you can build a future.
Don't waste your youth being haunted by memories of people still alive, you'll have plenty of time for that later as people you love start to die. And even then, well, the Ghosts don't ever really go away, you just get used to them.
Good luck anon, I'm rooting for you.
>>746083863
I realize what I said is easier said than done, though. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. We all deserve true happiness.
>>746082280
Mitchell Henderson would've been in his 20's by now.
Wow.
>>746082993
To elaborate on what the other anon said, you deserve better and so does she. You deserve someone that's on the same intellectual level as you, someone you can connect with. She deserves to have a partner that's not miserable and enjoys the same dumb, vapid things she does.
You need to let her go. It's not doing either of you any favors dragging it out.
>>746083779
I feel reasonless constantly myself
How i get out of that funk is i find things that bring me some joy, no matter how small or meaningless they are
In reality its just all about you
>>746083761
I can't cheat, did it once years ago with another gf and couldn't handle the gilt, can't live doing something that I don't want to suffer my self, people can be shit all they want, I live my life doing what I think is correct. And yes, if I cheat on her, she will never know.
>>746084322
The last sentance made me lol
But i feel ya dawg
I try to do the same myself
So i guess youre more or less looking to get out of this situation of unhappiness?
>>746084578
they drew the ugliest faces, really captures the reality of childrens faces tbh
kids are as ugly outside as they are on the inside
terrible little creatures
She's the one.
I'm not hers. It hurts
>>746084725
Let it out anon, we've all been there. I'll tell you mine if you want.
>>746084725
I know this feel all too well
>>746084845
Why can't she see me in a romantic way anon. What am I missing? Am I unworthy of love?
All I want from her is to just once, look at me the way I look at her.
>>746084673
Kids are great when they're yours. All gangly and weird. It's it's own sort of beauty.
They are fucking terrorists though.
>>746081832
Same here anon. Notes written and everything. Good luck.
>>746085006
If its not too much to ask
Im curious what the note says
>>746084539
I'm trying to decide what is best for her and for me, I mean some times I loose my shit when she just acts like a retarded and some of my actual thoughts slips out of my mouth and I hurt her, like real bad, she starts crying and shit. The worst part is that I know she really loves me, and I love her, but I can really tell if we're going to endure this emotional intellectual difference. I'm a really calm guy and I'm always comprensive and try to find solutions to everything been her problems or mine, she is so emotional to react to things and finds the one to point instead of looking for solutions.
>>746085171
It's rather long winded, honestly. A series of apologies, one personally addressed to the few people I still care about. Explaining my reasoning the best I can. Asking them to move on and know things are better now for everyone.
>>746085229
Youre weirdly enough reminding me of me and my wife
I dont know if im happy
But its too late for me anon
I wish i knew i couldnt change from the begining
>>746084946
>Why can't she see me in a romantic way anon.
Maybe she doesn't know. You need to make it clear lest you miss out. Just sack up and have an honest talk.
>What am I missing?
Who knows? Maybe nothing.
>Am I unworthy of love?
Nope.
>All I want from her is to just once, look at me the way I look at her.
Talk to her anon. Let me tell you my story.
>be 17
>enlist, enter Delayed Entry Program
>meet 10/10 chick, same age as me
>spend a ton of time with her over the course of the next year
>love her so hard it makes my heart hurt
>we connect on every level
>too afraid to tell her
>time ticks away
>she leaves for Basic
>I do too
>go to Iraq, see some shit
>come back and turn into a drunk
>see her once on leave at a club but leave her alone since she's with friends
>fast forward 5 years
>married, baby on the way
>message Her on a whim
>get to talking, finally tell her I had a huge crush on her
>Anon, I waited and waited for you to ask me out. I don't know how I could have sent any more signals or made it any clearer. I wish we had dated, I really liked you.
>mfw
I'm happy and all but I can't help but wonder what I missed. Don't be like me anon. Don't live with regret.
>>746085446
Fuck anon that shit broke me
>>746083855
napoleon gimme some fucking tots
>>746085317
I dont understand
If theres people you care about
Why waste their feelings
>>746085317
I'm going to go ahead and ask you to please not use a gun.
>>746085671
Because I'm hurting them. I fucked my life up and now I'm a burden on them. It eats away at the, I can see it. This isn't just the best option for me, but for them as well.
>>746085589
I'm sorry you had to go through that anon.
She already told me she doesn't see me romantically. Some idiot broke her heart and she doesn't want a relationship anymore. Ever again. With anybody. That's what she says
We're just casually hooking up now and I don't want to lose that too by asking for more
>>746085739
Why specifically not a gun? I do have one for "backup" but that's not my planned method.
>>746085753
If it's not too much to ask, how did you fuck your life up?
>>746085825
Had a major depressive episode that fucked up my college experience. Flunked out. Had another one and got fired from a few jobs. My credit is fucked up, my resume is so shit I can't get steady work, and college isn't an option. So yeah. This is it.
If you're going to an hero at least go on a shooting rampage so we have something to make jokes about.
Why die? You have now free life ahead, you can eat anything, do anything, say anything without consecuences, because you are already dead. Think about it, anon. Fuck others, you now have truly free will. English for my sorry, spanishtard here.
>>746085753
Thats insanely unreasonable and selfish
You need to grow up and care more for the people who care for you
>>746085739
Even wondering why this person doesnt want you to use a gun makes you seem selfish as heck
>>746085671
>1 syllable off of a haiku
>>746085764
Just enjoy it for what it is then. Either that or cut all contact. It'll hurt, but it's better a quick harsh pain than slowly bleeding your heart dry. I'm sorry anon, at least you know where you stand.
>>746085808
Because shitty politicians use suicides by gun to inflate "gun crime" statistics since suicide is technically illegal. That, and a buddy of mine shot himself in the head and it was all fucked up at the funeral. It really gutted his mother when she saw it, they just couldn't put it back together well.
>>746086145
Is it selfish? Sure. But I can't do this anymore. Maybe they'll understand, maybe they won't. But I have to do what I have to do.
>>746086209
Alright. Thanks for talking to me anon
>>746086209
To be honest, I don't care what kind of corpse I leave. But yeah gun is just backup.
>>746086158
Extra points for this sexy poet
>>746086214
You're at least going to go do some wild shit first right? Fuck man, go try meth or some shit, I hear it's the bees knees.
>>746086263
Always here for you /b/rother.
>>746086367
Don't want to do anything that could fuck it up. It'd be hard to do it in jail.
>>746086214
Who means the most to you anon?
>>746086487
What's your plan exactly?
And you won't go to jail for smoking meth once. You might wake up in an alley or something but so what?
>>746082993
Same happened to me
Intellectual reciprocation is vital in a relationship
>I end 3 year relationship with a designer
>Feel like shit for some weeks
>Now have a gf that's a great doctor
Awesome feeling that your partner can have a constructive comeback about anything
Say goodbye and roll the dice again brother
>HER FEELINGS ARE NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
>>746086584
Pills. Lots of them with alcohol.
>>746086577
My sister. Why?
>>746086657
What if she killed herself?
> My life imploded this month in ways that are unprecedented like a slow motion train wreck.
> But I am an action man. The moment of reckoning is at hand. And possibility is always around the corner.
> It feels like life kicks you down at times. Blame God, blame people, blame whoever. In the end all you have are guts, determination, and wit and a bunch of useless victim stories that serve to make your life shit. Grab a shovel and dig up and leave the stories in the hole where they belong.
> They might not like you. Life might not like you, but they'll all want to know where you came from and what dark hole you dug yourself out of when you come out on top and you show the world that a ton of failures and disappointments and setbacks was the price of entry for getting what you want in life.
>>746086736
I'd be devastated. But she's in a different situation. Married, children, a good life. My suicide makes sense, she'll learn to accept it.
>>746086657
Do you own a car or anything that produces carbon monoxide? Pills and drink is an iffy way to try, you most likely will end up in the hospital.
I take back what I said earlier. Fuck the statistics and the coffin. Use the gun, put that you want to be cremated in the note. Put the gun in your mouth pointed ever so slightly up, aim for the back of your throat.
>>746086591
>some weeks
>now have a gf
This guys a serial dater
Hes more problems than all of us
>>746085983
Dont kill yourself, guy. Ive had a similar go of things. Simply existing at the moment. But dont kill yourself. Just leave. Move. Anywhere, somewhere. Volunteer somewhere. Join an aid relief society, there are always people in need. Hell, you dont need transport, pack some things in a bag, and just start walking. It will hurt your loved ones, but atleast youre not dead, right? Someday, somehow, maybe youll find your way back. A knock on their door at midnight, 20 years from now. But death? Fuck man. Death is so much more than I deserve. That would be too easy. I still hate myself too much for that.
>>746086859
Hmm. I mean, I have a fuckton of them. I know the trick is to take in doses, rather than all at once. I'd prefer dying relatively peacefully. But I suppose the .38 would do it quickly at least.
doit if you feel nothing is left for you anon but if you even have a smidgen of regrets dont take that to your grave unless youre willing to meme like a madman
>>746086939
It'a not about what I deserve, it's about what I want. Walking off into the sunset isn't really an option in my current situation anyway,
>>746086829
Her, or your, situation is not a qualifier here. You're still her brother, she won't accept it. It will haunt her for the rest of her life.
>What could I have done?
>Why didn't he ask me for help?
>How am I such an awful sister that I didn't know he was going to do this?
>>746086870
>broke it off Nov/16
>new gf Aug/17
Felt like shit for weeks, went no contact with her and focused on myself.
Doesn't take long to know when life gets less tense.
>>746087005
It's still a fucking bad way to go, and definitely the most risky, in terms of not actually doing the job.
I work in a hospital and we get at least 3 or 4 people a week who OD on pills trying to suicide and they end up with their stomach pumped and an involuntary commitment.
Pistol, or Benadryl and a running car are the way to do it. First is quick, lights off, no fuss. Second is easy and gradual.
What pills do you have?
>>746087096
There's nothing she can do here and she'll see that. We were very close as kids but don't see each other much anymore with the different paths our lives took. It's not like we still live together, she'll know it not her fault, that she wasn't there to see signs or anything.
>>746087095
How is it not an option? Do you live in Alaska? Tibet? And if death is not what you deserve, anon, why do you want it? Nothing is waiting on the other side.
>>746087310
Xanax and oxycodoje
>>746087335
I have no money so I don't see how I can just leave. I'd walk until I just started or something. Not how I wan a go. And I want it because life is just pain anymore, and isn't going to improve.
>>746087317
No she won't, stop trying to rationalize it. Accept that you're doing a shitty thing to someone you love and care deeply for. It's going to rip a piece of her fucking soul out, and she'll always blame herself.
If the thought of that is too much then sack up and deal with your shit. But don't sit there and give me that, "Oh I'm doing everyone a favor," bullshit because you're not.
You're throwing in the towel, and giving the finger to everyone who cares about you.
>>746087667
Alright, fine. I'm being selfish and it's going to hurt people but that's the way it's going to be. I don't fucking care anymore.
>>746087317
>>746086829
You sound like my brother
Im married, with kids, my life seems good.
He tried to od last year and failed.
If he succeeded i swear i wouldnt be the same, im not same just because he even tried
>>746087589
Nah man, just use the pistol. That shit's the fast train to "did it for attention,"-ville. You think you want to die now? Get your stomach pumped and get stuck in a psych ward with all the crazy motherfuckers who light people on fire and talk to Hitler's dog's ghost. Enjoy the last week of life floating on a xannie and oxy cloud.
>>746087806
What is so tough?
>>746087810
I'm sorry you went through that. I hope he got help. I'm sorry my sister will go through it too.
>>746087848
Alright you convinced me. Pistol it is. Thanks.
>>746087589
Pack your shit, pick a direction, start walking, hitchhike. At the worst, you get fucking murdered, problem solved. Make friends with people, bunk anywhere you can, food will find you, all you need is water. Nothing is going to improve if you make no effort for it. And fuck, anon, get the fuck out of your comfort zone. Youre the product of millions of years of evolution. Your instincts will guide you. Stop making excuses.
>>746087921
Living. I never really got the hang of it.
>>746087935
Just...no. Not happening. I can't do that. I'm not putting off the inevitable.
>>746087806
I think you should go see your sister first. Just so she has a good memory of you before you go. Spend the day with her and your nephew's and/or nieces, whether you like them or not. Suck it up and pretend to be happy, take them to Chuckie Cheese or some shit.
You owe her one last memory at least.
>>746088051
You fucking pussy. Go on then. Fucking do it.
>>746086591
That's something nice to hear, I hope to find the force and the guts to do what I know Is correct. And not fall again in this loop hole where I'm now
>>746088071
No, I want her to know that she had no part in this. If I see her one last time, she'll know in retrospect I was saying goodbye. Then she'll blame herself for not seeing the signs and all that. A clean break is what needs to happen.
>>746088051
Is there anything about life you like?
>>746088102
Yeah, yeah. It's almost ready. Tying off a few loose strings, it'll happen by October 1st,
>>746085229
I had an ex just like yours, damn... I loved her like i had never experience before and she love me back, but then we became more and more distant from each other, so i know exactly how you feel fella.
You are just in a toxic relationship. It hurts but it's only the hard and bitter reality.
The best that you can do is leave before you and your gf continue hurting each other, speak with her clearly, tell her what you felt for her and how do you feel now. And don't even remain as friends, that never works as you may think, and you know why? Because you could be tempted to talk to her and be together again.
Let's get out of that hole pal, if someone makes you feel like you are alone, then, it means she's not the one. It's time for you to take a chance with another girl, it's time for her to find another man. Time passes and the life goes on.
I know it's hard and maybe a little shitty because i know that you love her. But thats how the world works. Someday you'll find the right person that will walk along your side until the end of your days.
Good Luck /b/ro
>>746088226
But thats my birthday
>>746088162
There is no fucking clean break, you cunt. You'll be putting your family and friends through the messiest and potentially worst part of their lives, because you're a fucking coward.
>>746088187
Sure, plenty. But so much of that is beyond my grasp now. And what's left isn't enough to drown out how I feel.
>>746088276
Sorry.
>>746088279
Does this "tough love" shit work? I know it's a shitty thing to do. What better end for a piece of shit like me? I'm giving her the cleanest break I can.
>>746087922
Good. I can't stand the thought of someone going through an OD, having been through one myself, and I sure as shit don't wish the psych ward on anybody. The OD was super fun too, let me tell you
>sitting on bed feeling like death
>body locks up completely, start convulsing
>eyes lock up as far as they can
>vomit a lot, burns like hell
>seizure subsides, look down and see I've puked blood everywhere
>can hardly move
>crawl to bathroom
>turn on bathtub and catch water in my hand, drink for like an hour
>pass out for about 13 hours
>wake up in a puddle of piss and blood vomit
>give the neighbor EMT $20 for an IV
Never mixed pills and booze after that.
>>746088162
I think you should see her too, for what it's worth. I wish my friend (more like a brother) would have said goodbye to me. It hurts that he didn't.
>>746088282
Fucking october, why the fuck not do it now? Its not like you give a fuck, or are you scared you dont have the fucking balls for it? Why not today, right now? Or tomorrow? Or 4 hours from now? Why wait, shits not getting any better, is it.
Thoughts on this poem folks?
>>746088236
You really got me with the "if someone makes you feel like you are alone". I feel so fucking lonely. I feel like shit, I feel miserable.
>>746088423
I left her the note. Most of it is addressed to her. It says what I need her to know.
>>746088430
That's in a week, asshole. This make you feel big, taunting a soon to be dead man?
>>746088373
This isn't tough love, anon. I fucking despise you. You sit here, talking about your life like you're the victim of some tragedy, that you failed life, or life failed you, so now you're calling it quits, when really the only thing stopping you is your own lack of spine. You're doing the same thing youve always done, just fucking giving up.
>>746081832
So do you understand Rick and Morty?
There's no reason not to kill yourself
In another universe you are having sex with kids legally
If you don't enjoy the b universe you're in, exit it
>>746088641
So many big men here taunting the dying. Whatever. I'll see you in hell.
>>746088566
I just don't think a note is enough. I've said my piece though.
And I don't think he's taunting you. I think he's legitimately frustrated that you've decided to die.
Godspeed anon.
>>746088282
Thats beyond insane
Have you forgotten how it feels to be loved?
To have someone to hold and just know everything is going to be okay
>>746088566
Make me feel big? Taunting a man? No, it doesn't make me feel big. You make me fucking seethe with rage. You dont have the constitution to be a man, so you're choosing the death of a dog.
>>746088499
You need to let her go man. It's harsh, but you're only delaying the inevitable. You want to be married and have a kid before you snap? You want to snap at all?
>>746082649
The movie is called Miss Granny btw, if anyone is wondering.
>>746088465
Im not very good at poetry but i like it
Seems to have some deep meaning which is semi important in that line of work
>>746088776
OP here. Still lurking. This hit me in the feels. God I can't remember the last time i felt that way. I know the exact feeling and I can't even remember
>>746088773
The note will do. And thanks for talking with me.
>>746088776
I suppose I have, yeah.
>>746088817
I know I don't have the constitution to be a man. If I did I wouldn't be in this situation. You're not telling me anything new here. Don't really care that makes you mad.
Hey o.o don't trip man things feel hard but she gets better in the end I know you're feeling down and out but at the end of the day and find something that makes you happy I've been in your boat before it's all good homie just keep on striving on get a job save some money spoil yourself then when you feel more confident girls will see that you get a nice girl it all gets better bro keep your head up only pussies kill themselves
>>746087806
Anon pls listen. Three years ago my girlfriend killed herself. The people that they loved the most don’t forget.
>>746088886
It's alright OP. Things get better. Sometimes you just gotta fight to make them that way.
>>746088730
Stop.
>in therapy
>tells me to do productive shit when I feel depressed
>tell him it's not that easy and I don't think I'll be able to realistically do it
>tells me we might as well end therapy then
I feel such a weird combination of pissed off and despair.
I've been declining for years and things just get worse, the "maybe you're not ready yet" means nothing when this is as ready as I'll be due to the aforementioned decline.
Life is like this pic.
You will always lose unless you leave
>>746088952
Maybe try and find that feeling again
Before you pull the plug
Its the least you can do for yourself
>>746089037
I know that. But I can't do this anymore.
>>746089094
Alright then.
>>746089167
I wouldn't know where to look, honestly.
>>746089112
Fuck him, do it to spite his sorry ass. Fucking douchebag therapists. Telling anons dumb shit. Fuck em. All of em.
>>746082159
dear lord
>>746089173
My gf was being threatened by her ex that if I was still with her that he would rape and kill her. She was 15 at the time. Her only way out,she thought, was suicide.
>>746089231
Wish I could. He so full of shit. Says things like
>why can't you do things with depression?
>does it affect your legs?
>then you can do things
>>746089112
Kill yourself, but right before you do send him a message telling him that this is his fault.
>>746089215
Well if a bunch of anons trying to convince you not to kill yourself isn't some form of strange, fucked up love, I don't know what is.
We're here for you anon. Because we are you, basically. Add in a drinking problem and a few brain injuries and you're me.
>>746089321
I'm sorry that happened to you, and to her.
>>746089215
Theres no specific place to look
Someone may just catch your eye
You also happen to catch theirs
You might just end up finding someone who can drown your misery
>>746085764
Literally EVERY.
SINGLE.
DAMN.
GIRL.
say the same bullshit about not getting in a relationship with any other man when some asshole screw their previous relationship with her.
Champ, i'm sorry but don't give a single fuck if she tells you that "she don't see you in a romantic way". If you want be with her. GO AHEAD, make the thing work.
But let me tell you something, if you are her bestfriend, there is a high chance that she don't want to fuck up your friendship, so
you have to be very clear with your emotions towards her, be at her side when she needs you, btw there's not need to look like you're desperate.
Dude, even if she already told you she doesn't want a relationship anymore, she's looking for her soulmate, and if you give up now, then you have to endure from now on to see her with another man.
Remember anon, you're the only one who forge your own fate.
Good night.
>>746089359
As bad as I feel, I couldn't do that to my family
>>746082486
>I have friends but even when I'm with them I feel so alone still
fucking this
a couple of days ago i went with my friends to the river to have some BBQ, but all i could think was "i want to be in my room"
and when i am in my room i think "oh, i need to go outside, i cant spend all my life in here"
fucking brain
>>746088870
thank you, fam
i was
Where can i find a carbon monoxide tank?
>>746088854
Of course I want to end this shit I don't want any more of this, and at the same time I'm so. Afraid so fucking afraid of losing everything, I have done so much for this relationship to work, She has done so much too. I'm so afraid.
>>746089387
I don't think that's going to happen. Life doesn't work like that.
>>746089385
That’s not the worst part. The worst part was suffering a concussion three months later and forgetting her name.
>>746089465
Yeah, that sounds rough. Sorry.
>>746089354
Oh what a fucking twat. You need to do some shit to spit in his face. Weld a goddamned statue or some shit, I don't know. How are you not being fueled by pure rage right now?
God DAMNIT I fucking hate therapists.
>>746089380
Half of you told me to fuck off. Which is understandable, but still. And I,appreciate you being here but I just wanted to tell someone, anyone about it. Didn't come to be talked out of it.
>>746089508
Her family moved, I no longer have any means of communicating with them, and keep trying to hopelessly find an account on any form of social media. Kept the relationship secret between friends until a year ago.
>>746089529
I was angry, but it just leads to more depression, which is less motivating than anger.
Took me like 2 years to finally get seen by one due to being fucked about and sent for different assessments, so I really tried.
I'm REALLY curious how the lives of everyone but my mother would be affected if I killed myself. I know my mom would care immensely but I really do wonder about the rest.
>>746089448
I know man, but it's not worth continuing to torture yourself over. It's unfair to both of you. It's scary, it hurts, but you know you have to let her go. I'm sorry man.
>>746089616
Well, you've been witnessed.
Shiny and Chrome, Ride Eternal anon.
>>746089635
This is starting to,sound a bit implausible.
>>746089676
Lol. Thanks.
>>746083863
>when you don't let your emotions to control you
Nigger, what? I don't think she's the retard in the relationship.
>>746089462
Who are you to decide how life works
Youre insane if you think youre unlovable
Heck im starting to like you myself
>>746089648
See my depression works the other way around. I'm sad until I get angry, and then God fucking help you. You should at least hit him, just one good swing. You can blame it on being a loon :^)
>>746089681 >>746089616
Anon, you can rebound. I’m head Drum Major for my school’s band and fourth best tenor in my state. Please don’t kill yourself.
>>746089782
Lol I wonder if I could get away with that...
>>746089724
>lol
McFucking kill yours-
Wait. Nevermind.
>>746089898
Hank, please.
>>746089780
I'm not insane. I'm unlovable, it's as simple as that. My sister loves me, probably, but then again she's my sister, that's moreover less default. I've never loved anything in my life, I'm certainly not capable of being loved.
>>746089808
Um...ok? Also, I can't rebound from that much failure.
>>746089898
Yeah sorry wasn't sure what to say there.
I told this to a girl I loved and let go who went through a heart break and came back running to me. She wanted to remain friends with me strictly
"Love for me is not that complicated. It's choosing to be with a person regardless of their faults and accepting them for who they are"
She said that's the same in friendship too. And she's right. But how do I convince her that she loves me
>>746089957
What failure?
>>746089957
It's just a joke lad, you gotta lighten up.
>>746082159
Newfag but tru
>>746089957
Youve never loved anything in your life
I find that pretty dang hard to believe
Youve never had just a hamster or cat break your heart
You ready for some real feels?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTtFIL6LHLw
Sometimes, I stand in front of the mirror and get so close that I can see every disgusting clogged pore, so I can bask in his ugly I am, then I get really drunk and black out.
>>746090020
I posted it above...flunking out of school, losing jobs.
>>746090058
Lightening up isn't one of my strong suits.
>>746090101
I really haven't. You might not believe it but it's true.
>>746082939
This isn't ylyl
>>746089759
And you don't think I don't know, she is ignorant by circumstances, I'm a fucking retarded by choice I know I'm the retarded, I know I'm responsible for this because I always knew that she was like that, I try to belive that she could change, that she would be better. I choose to believe that love will make us better. I'm the maker of this shit that I live now. Trust me I know. That's why is so difficult for me to end this.
>>746089830
Fuck yeah dude, just start talking in a cockney accent and
>Sware on me mum
Then POW
>>746090138
That was a train wreck of commas. I could have done so much better lmfao
>>746088886
Heck youre the reason im here you son of a gun
Im sure someone will notice you on a more personal level soon
LOL NIGGA HOW CAN SADNESS EVEN BE REAL LOLLL NIGGA LIKE JUST BE HAPPY SMH
>>746089963
Shameful bump. Any advice /b/ros?
>>746090148
You should try it sometime. Lightening up. Life got so much better when I finally realized its all an absurd joke.
>>746090361
Ayy lmao
>>746090361
this
>>746090361
How can sadness be real if our souls aren't real?
>>746090406
I'm sure it did. It's a joke, sure, but that doesn't make me feel any better. Mel's me more eager to be rid of it, really.
>>746090387
You figure it out and write a fucking book, you'll be a millionaire.
>>746090148
What if they loved you?
With the deepest sincerity
They dont even have to
Would you love them back?
>>746090479
*makes
Just kill yourself already
>>746090490
I really don't know if I'm capable of it. I'd try, I really would. But I don't know if I could.
>>746090479
It's all just a joke man. Life is either a comedy or a tragedy, you just have to play the lead.
>>746090480
What's the difference between friendship and love though anon? They both have the same ingredients. Maybe it's the intensity of emotion that's different
>>746090387
She's projecting her own insecurities onto you and is committing that cognitive fallacy where she assumes you know her feels and thinks the way she does; I forget what the fuck it's called. Anyway, just tell that dumb cunt that it's alright that she fucked up, because everyone does, and that you want to fucking be with her
>>746089963
Let her let you go
How do you guys manage to shower, brush teeth, make food, get dressed and all the other shit that's expected of an adult?
This is what I'm struggling with more than anything at the moment. I don't bathe, don't eat, don't go outside, I just lay in bed or go on 4chan.
>>746090625
You're fucking; that's the difference. Numb nuts
>>746090684
Having a job helps. When I was a drunk NEET I was the same as you.
>>746081832
you feels thread faggots are such idiots. you fucking pricks always are a huge fucking downer.
just delete the depressing shit off your computer. stop sharing depressing shit, you're worse than a fucking angst ridden goth teenager. I'm sure your life sucks so I don't want to pile on it. If you're not a piece of shit person running around buying/selling/doing drugs, stealing, vandalizing, bad stuff you're probably not that bad of a person if you kill yourself then there is just one less good person and the bad people start to outnumber the good ones. just fucking get over yourself already. if you don't like your life change it. just start doing stuff different. i've done it before so most other people can too. start living your life differently and it'll change.
>>746090642
Everytime she does that, she comes back saying she wants me as a friend. But because of my feelings towards her, our boundaries get all muddled up and she gets more than what a friend gets from me
>>746090561
How old are you again?
>>746090747
My anxiety would go through the fucking roof
>>746090561
Theres no need to try
Youve already givin up so the odds are really in your favor
Theres no chance of failure
I actually envy you
>>746090684
Breh, I've been that depressed too. It's a shitty place. Fucking looking at your crusty, sebum-ridden hair and face in the mirror one day and just saying "fuck"
>>746090724
Emotionally though anon. I am fucking her right now. We're having "casual sex"
>>746090786
23, why?
>>746090630
And if she says no to that anon?
>>746090684
are you my last roommate from college? that guy never fucking showered
>>746088499
A relationship it's more than just sex, it means that you really enjoy be with that special person, that in 7 billion people who are wandering in the earth right now, you want to spend your time with her.
Ask her how does she feel being with you, if you start to think she's more distant and it looks like she doesn't want to talk no matter how much you try, maybe she doesn't felt good with you mate, but she's in the same situation as you, she doesn't want to hurt you even if she loves you so much as you love her, she knows it's not working anymore.
Talk to her in person, it's better to say good bye than leave the door open...
Whatever you choose, it's the right choice, i hope you find the peace that you'are looking for anon.
How old are you guys and how low are you at this point in your life?
>28 here
>>746090902
You're very good at this advice thing anon
>>746090787
Tramadol helps considerably. Don't even need to buzz off of it, even just 100mg a day makes everything a little brighter
>>746090774
Just chill
Maybe someone else will see you for what your worth
If that happens
Which it will
Hold onto it
>>746090877
The average life span in America is 75. 52 years before you statistically die. But that’s today’s standards. Imagine the world ten, twenty years from now. What if people were able to slow aging, or travel space, or shipping took seconds across the globe... oh wait.
>>746091052
Doctors got me on Duloxotine. Supposed to help with both depression and anxiety.
>>746090878
Then move on.
>>746090774
Don't fucking beat around the bush and tell her what you god damn want. FFS man, how can you ever expect to get out of this shitty cycle if you can't make a stand for yourself? and if she doesn't give, after all this shit you two have been through, she's just a massive cunt and is cucking you on purpose, because women are shitty and like attention and power in relationships
>>746090878
See
>>746091102
I'm the same asshole
>>746091088
None of that is going to be accessible to me in my situation so irrelevant.mand even if it was it wouldn't fix the shit that was wrong with me.
>>746090684
electric toothbrush makes it quick and easy
and disposable floss picks
>>746091099
Eh, I never liked that. I like tramadol. Mild opiate, helps my back and my crippling social anxiety that manifests itself as rage. Fun stuff
>>746091207
What is wrong with you?
>>746091100
I'm scared to move on anon. Pathetic, yes but I really am.
>>746091102
I guess I needed to hear the harsh words anon. I feel I'm just scared of losing what I have with her because she genuinely does care for me anon. I can see and I don't want to lose that.
>>746091275
I've never tried that. They gave me a few diazapam, but only 2mg pills and they don't do shit.
>>746082486
I've always been on my own path, different. It sucks, it's hard, but I ended up meeting a great woman, having a son who has everything I wish I had, and even though sometimes I realize I'm all alone in the world and probably my son will be too, it's because we're that fucking special. Everyone is a fucking clown in their own way. Stop being a bitch because you aren't someone else or what you think you should be. Take what you have and enjoy life all you can.
An hero is being too dumb to enjoy what you have.
>>746091325
Depression, anxiety, no friends, no social life, job and school shit is fucked.
>>746091493
If you need a friend, you know where to find us.
>>746091681
Eh. Appreciate that but I'm beyond /b/s power to help.
>>746091275
To expand on this, I have a caveman brain that equates anxiety with mortal danger. So unless in balanced out, being in an uncomfortable situation puts me into FoF mode, and I'm much more wired to fight. I once yanked a Hindu across the counter at a subway because he couldn't understand me.
>>746091391
What a joke.
>>746091346
If you do it, don't be pushy and pratty about it. Just say it's what you want, and be genuine about what you feel. If you don't make a big scene when she seems reluctant, it'll make it easier for her to play along
>>746091720
I doubt it. Anon is ever wise and far reaching.
Just don't be a fag and share with the class would you? October 1st I'll be looking for your stream thread.
>>746091720
I’ve been there. Tried three times. Pussied out. When I stood at the edge of the bridge, I couldn’t get the image of her face out of my head.
>>746091865
I don't think I'm going to live stream it, sorry.
>>746091872
I'll try not to do that.
>>746091770
How would one go about getting tramadol?
>>746091720
I’ve been there. Tried three times. Pussied out. When I stood at the edge of the bridge, I couldn’t get the image of her face out of my head. And when your sister hears the news of your death, she won’t get the image of you out of her head.
>>746091987
Well, that's my legacy then. Wish it was better but that's all i have to give.
>>746090183
Are you the anon with the less intellectual gf???
Dude, don't beat yourself up. Even if you DID know beforehand, we all have expectations that we can help out partner change or blossom. But your partner has to want it.
When I started dating my bf I was a freaking line cook. With self doubt. Who wanted more but didn't believe. But he did. He helped me push myself for management, find a new job that treats me better, and go back to school.
If you aren't happy man, don't stay. You'll regret it and you'll end up hating her for not meeting your expectations (And don't mean that in a shallow way, we all have our wants and needs). Neither of you are to blame. You both deserve someone who relate on the same level.
>>746091798
How about these for words anon
"I know I want more than this with you. Casual sex is how this started but I've been feeling like something's missing here. I just genuinely want to be with you. During your worst times, during your best and I know you told me you don't want to go through love ever again because the asshole broke your heart but I hope you can let me in because I have and it hurts when you don't. I think this is what my version of love is"
And when she inevitably says no, I'll just say good luck with your life and I hope you find all the happiness you deserve.
>>746091798
How about these for words anon
"I know I want more than this with you. Casual sex is how this started but I've been feeling like something's missing here. I just genuinely want to be with you. During your worst times, during your best and I know you told me you don't want to go through love ever again because the asshole broke your heart but I hope you can let me in because I have and it hurts when you don't. I think this is what my version of love is"
And when she inevitably says no, I'll just say good luck with your life and I hope you find all the happiness you deserve.
Why do I feel like admitting love is a weakness anon?
>>746092153
Damn it. Sorry for the double post anon
>>746091959
I get it from the VA, but from what I understand you can get it pretty easily from Canada. There's sites where you send a doctor your "symptoms," mention that a relative gave you some once and it helped, and voila, you get a script to buy it online.
>>746091944
At least be WITNESSED anon. It's the one good thing you can share with us. Let us be there with you. I haven't had a drink in three years, but I'll drink to you. Stream or no actually. You and me, we'll have a drink the minute before midnight on the 2nd.
>>746092033
A wise man once told me “Power is having the ability to do something, and not doing it.”
Hey OP, if you need someone to talk to, visit 7cups.com, there are people willing to talk and listen 24/7.
Also, it may sound a stupid idea, but maybe give religion a try? Inb4 God isn't real fag. Just hear me out. God loves you very much, going to church always cheered me up because you're surrounded by people who care about you, and they will welcome you with open arms, just as they did for me. I went to a mormon church and did sunday school and even did these meetings with missionaries late at night to talk about the teachings of Jesus. I can't explain it, but it makes you feel really good.
>>746092318
I'm not streaming it. For one thing I'm not doing it in a place where streaming would be possible. For another I'd like to be alone at the end.
>>746092359
I don't care about power. I'm doing this because I have to.
>>746092440
Do you?
>>746092153
Nah, that sounds to analytical. Don't compare you or her to other people, and don't bring up the past. It has to be more like, "hey, we have a good thing going, and we're good for each other. I'm happy with you here. I think it'll work; let's make it." Just flourish it and add your own personal taste to it.
>>746092423
That site is fairly garbage IMO. Also they kick you if you even mention suicide.
>>746092525
Yes. It's this or continue to live in misery.
>>746089436
just pump exhaust into the cabin of a car the old fashioned way
or you could try this
>>746092440
We'll still have a drink then. Do a shot with me at 2359 on the 1st. No one should go alone, even if it's just in spirit. I'll witness you anon, even if it's not with my eyes.
>>746092626
I'll do that then.
>>746092582
They actually don't. I'm a trained listener on that site. What are you thoughts about the religion though? I've been in your shoes OP, I've had depression for 12 years, and I'm still here. Seen countless professionals and still on medication.
>>746092582
Touche, but that is a reason. An excuse. Wars aren’t won with excuses.
>>746092570
What if she says I can't do that but I just want to be friends with you. How do I get a clean break from that anon. Thanks for helping me through all this. You don't know how much this means to me
>>746084946
>Why can't she see me in a romantic way anon. What am I missing? Am I unworthy of love?
Why can't i se her in a romantic way?
Am i incapable of love?
help..
>>746092703
I've been to the site, and yes they do. As for the religion, I'm not a believer.
>>746092716
It's as valid a reason as any.
>>746092739
Maybe she's not the one for you anon
>>746092764
Give me another excuse. A valid one.
>>746092764
Well I don't know how recent you went there but they have a policy for suicide talkers, which is retarded in my opinion, it's just giving the number to the suicide hotline.
Also you may not be a believer, but why not start? Why not give it a try?
>>746090183
If you feel you need to change someone's personality severely enough that it makes the relationship shitty, the foundation of the relationship was shitty to begin with. Just move on and find someone else that fits your idealistic shit. Fuck
>>746092795
hmm maybe.
i don't think i should ever say that.
>>746092818
I live in misery and it's not getting better. That's a valid reason.
>>746092874
Belief doesn't work like that. You can't make yourself believe something when you don't.
>>746092967
I said another excuse.
Im just gonna say it here because this is anon.
I really dont feel anything and it bums me the fuck out, like no feelings at all. No girl has given me a second look, Ill admit Im not the best looking guy but idgaf there has to be someone, right? All my "friends" make fun of me and I dont have anyone to talk to outside of school. They all tell me to just "make new friends" but when you're an introverted fuck it's not that easy. This is the first time Ive said anything about it because my word gets drowned out all the time, like I dont even matter to anyone. My parents keep asking me if Im ok and I have to lie and say Im fine but really Im not
>>746093016
Okay, I'm a burden on those around me and removing myself from the equation is he only solution.
>>746082618
Oh shit, I posted that! Its what I tell my gf all the time.
At the end of the day you've just got to man up and forget about all the bullshit in life.
>>746092738
Just tell her that it hurts, cause you make it seem like it does. It seems like this grill has trouble with commitment like a lot of heartbroken kids do. Just be understanding and don't play the blame game.
>>746093090
Doesn’t that fall under “misery”?
>>746092967
Of course not, but you can study into it, maybe try a prayer even if you don't believe, try something. My parents were never bible thumpers, in fact they never went to church, religion found me at the age of 12-13.
I'm not saying to automatically believe, because it doesn't work like that, you're relationship with God won't be like that when you start out, you'll feel nothing in fact, but given time and more studying about the religion and faith grows and it will keep growing. I won't force you into it OP, just asking you try, even if its for an hour or a day.
>>746093201
your* fuck.
>>746093178
I mean that the current state of affairs hurts.
>>746093196
Who are you to say my misery isn't a legit reason? You don't know my situation, what I'm going through.
>>746093201
I went to church as a kid. I believed for a time. I've studied it already and studying it made me lose the faith. So, that's not gonna work sadly.
