Ask a Schizophrenic anything.
I may take a while to reply sometimes, be patient!
Free (you)s for all posters!
Here's the discord if you're interested in that.
discord
.gg/YZzFsM
>>745675471
Whats that anime called
>>745675471
Hi Op!
How it going?
>>745675471
It's been a while. How are you feeling?
And you still have great taste in vampires.
>>745675538
>Whats that anime called
Monogatari
>>745675602
>Hi Op!
Hiya.
>How it going?
Not too great. How are you tonight/thismorning/thisafternoon?
>>745675684
>How are you feeling?
Not the best, got a lot on my mind, kinda loopy.
>And you still have great taste in vampires.
Would you expect anything less?
>>745675693
>Not too great.
>>745675835
>got a lot on my mind, kinda loopy.
Ruh roh.... Looking to talk or to forget things for a while? I can help either way.
>>745675471
wanna fug?
>>745675471
Do you like loli? Like do you like like lolis.
>>745675693
I'm OK. It's evening here. I am having a snack, and getting ready for work.
>>745675947
>Ruh roh.... Looking to talk or to forget things for a while?
Just trying to find a way to keep my mind off it for a while, honestly.
>>745676019
>wanna fug?
If I was gay, I would probably say yes to you tonight.
>>745676153
>Do you like loli?
Of course.
>Like do you like like lolis.
Yes. I would fug a loli.
>>745676167
>I'm OK.
That's good.
>I am having a snack
Whacha eatin?
>inb4 chips
>and getting ready for work.
I envy those who work nightshift. Must be so peaceful.
>>745676347
Do you like the age or body type of lolis?
>>745676347
Do you have a job?
>>745675471
how did you know you were schizophrenic
>>745676347
Well, she did tell Araragi she would fug him if she thought her little body could handle it. I was insta-diamond when she said that.
>>745676514
>Do you like the age or body type of lolis?
Yes.
>>745676564
>Do you have a job?
No, I'm a dirty neet.
>>745676579
>how did you know you were schizophrenic
Psychologist.
>>745675471
Hey waddap anon? Do you see cute waifus and spooky stuff, or is that just a meme.
>>745676705
How do you provide for yourself?
>>745676788
Kinda his avatar here. So we all know it's him.
>>745676705
I respect you now for enjoying lolis. Sorry about the mental illness. I know a few people with Schizophrenia and they tell me about hearing voices and commands all the time. I myself enjoy taking hallucinogens and try to control it so I see lolis, don't really work all the time. Are you hallucinations beyond your control and what are your triggers?
>>745676788
>Hey
Heyo
>waddap anon?
Not a lot, just killing some time until I get tired.
>Do you see cute waifus and spooky stuff, or is that just a meme.
I don't see qt waifus, but I do occasionally see some spoopy stuff.
I saw a weird black spider-y thing that few into my hand and disappeared earlier today. Confused the hell out of me.
>>745676905
>How do you provide for yourself?
SSI. (unrelated to the Schizo)
>>745677155
I want to give you a hug
>>745677038
Do you normally have hallucinations? And if they're only when on drugs, are they auditory, visual, or semantic (feel on skin)?
>>745677155
I'd be interested in hearing about some of your hallucinations. I've never hallucinated before in my life. So details would be cool.
>>745675471
are you male or female, and are you single, do you work?
>>745677422
>semantic
sorry - wrong word for it.
>>745677038
>I respect you now for enjoying lolis
Wait, are you trying to tell me that there are people who DON'T enjoy lolis?!?!?
>Sorry about the mental illness.
No need to be sorry, friend. You've done nothing wrong.
>Are you hallucinations beyond your control
Sometimes I have a little bit of control over them. I can also induce them with thoughts and that allows me to have more control over them.
>and what are your triggers?
Primarily stress, anxiety/paranoia. Throw a little depression in that mix and it's a recipe for disaster
>>745677038
>>745677422
>Do you normally have hallucinations? And if they're only when on drugs, are they auditory, visual, or semantic (feel on skin)?
No, I don't normally have hallucinations. I just enjoy taking hallucinogens like LSD, mescaline, or 2-CB. And I think the word you wanted instead of semantic is "tactile."
>>745677675
>Wait, are you trying to tell me that there are people who DON'T enjoy lolis?!?!?
Unfortunately... :(
>>745677422
>I'd be interested in hearing about some of your hallucinations.
My primary ones are auditory. Which include but is not limited to: voices, ambient sounds like birds chirping, whistles, ringing, music.
The visuals I have are primary a dark shadow black figure who stands in the doorway and stares at me and disembodied heads that float around in windows. I also see weird shit in mirrors, like I won't look like myself? That's probably more dissociation than hallucinations though.
>>745677490
>are you male or female
Male
>and are you single
Yes.
>do you work?
No.
>>745677538
>sorry - wrong word for it.
The word you're looking for is tactile.
>>745675471
Hi OP!
I've seen your threads and never replied before. I think it's nice you post them. Have you ever tried in /soc/?
How crazy are you? I take anti-depressants myself. I think I'm fairly minorly cray cray but I could be wrong.
>look where I am after all
>>745678220
>Unfortunately... :(
They should be terminated with extreme prejudice.
>>745677293
>I want to give you a hug
I accept free hugs.
>>745678231
Some of those things sound trippy - enjoyable kind of trippy.
Is there always a moment where you go from "this is trippy", to "oh, hell no. That ain't real"? Or can come hallucinations fool you for long times?
This fascinates me.
>>745677808
>tfw ywn do lsd with anon
fuggg
>>745678757
>microskirts on a motorcycle
I'm there.
Thread saving bump.
>>745678405
>Hi OP!
Hello!
>I think it's nice you post them.
Glad you enjoy them.
>Have you ever tried in /soc/?
I've never posted on /soc/, no. /b/ is where I've spent most of my 4chin life, it's my home.
>How crazy are you?
Right now, about a 6.21/10. (1 being completely normal, 10 being the CIA is out to get me)
On average it's about 5, and I've only ever reached 10 a few times.
On a whole, I'm not super crazy, at least not outwardly. You can have a conversation with me most days IRL and not even know that something is wrong with me. (this can be said about a lot of Schizos.)
>>745678528
>Some of those things sound trippy - enjoyable kind of trippy.
I wouldn't say enjoyable, but I don't think of them as "bad" either. There are times when they can be pretty fun though.
>Is there always a moment where you go from "this is trippy", to "oh, hell no. That ain't real"?
Not always, no. Sometimes I can look at it and just know it's not real. Other times I won't know it wasn't real until after it's gone.
Like today with the weird little spider-y thing, I didn't know it wasn't real until I spent 5 minutes looking for the little thing only to find it never existed.
>>745678757
>Suzuki
>Not Kawasaki
mfw
>>745679114
>Thread saving bump.
thanks anonski
>>745679175
>thanks anonski
Any time, for you.
>>745678757
I am grill too, so extra fugg.
Why are you wasting your time attention whoring on 4chan?
>>745679175
>You can have a conversation with me most days IRL and not even know that something is wrong with me. (this can be said about a lot of Schizos.)
OOOOooooo you know, a long time ago I worked at a call center. There was a woman there who made it through the training and everything and worked at the job fine....Just.....she thought the CIA was out to get her and cars driving by were people searching for her. My friend thought she meant her ex-husband was stalking her or something. When she started calling cabs and accusing them of workng for the CIA and securtiy got involved is when we didn't see her anymore.
Think she was schizo? Does that mean you're paranoid or does it mean you hear voices? Why don't the voices ever say anything nice?
Do you live on your own? What part of the nation are you in? (no doxx, just general area)
>>745679386
>Any time, for you.
You're too kind.
>>745679392
>I am grill too
Grills don't exist on the internet.
>>745679487
>Why are you wasting your time attention whoring on 4chan?
Same reason you are.
>>745679175
What I find interesting is that I almost always have music and/or thoughts running through the back of my mind. Like little playlets, movie scenes in my imagination, shit like that. I'm only vaguely aware of them in the back of my mind - just in the subconscious level.
I wonder if schizophrenia is just all that subconscious stuff making it way to the conscious mind too much - or too strongly. Like the barrier is down.
>>745679647
How do your symptoms manifest, if that's the right word? What does it feel like?
Do you take meds? Do they help?
Can you work a job?
I wish I got free attention points for being a schizo. Instead people think I'm weird and don't like me
>>745675471
what's so bad about it?
i met a couple people now that have and they don't seem all that fucked up
i thought schizos were like super fucked insane ppl
>>745679645
>Think she was schizo?
It's hard to say off that alone, delusional thinking is not exclusive to Schizophrenia.
>Does that mean you're paranoid or does it mean you hear voices?
I almost always have voices and paranoia. They're my most common symptoms.
>Why don't the voices ever say anything nice?
Well, that's dependant on the person. My voices occasionally say "nice" things.
>Do you live on your own
My brother lives with me.
>What part of the nation are you in?
Florida.
>>745679998
missed it by one.
Depends on how well you manage it, I guess. You could be trippy or scary.
I imagine paranoia sucks around people.
>>745675471
where are the voices
>>745675471
Whats your favorite color?
>>745680290
idk I manage it well kind of. my personality is just kinda fucked
>>745680290
I used to feel paranoid about people in authority, and "the system". I used to think people hid shit on me, or deliberately made things complicated.
But then, I realized nobody gave a shit about me enough to make me miserable. Once I accepted that, it was easy to imagine some other, more innocuous reason for shit happening. After a few years, my paranoia disappeared.
Now about my depression....
Have you ever thought of becoming a full fledged shaman? Asking for a machine elf
>>745679848
>I wonder if schizophrenia is just all that subconscious stuff making it way to the conscious mind too much - or too strongly
That's in a nutshell roughly the idea. It feels like part of your brain develops a mind of its own. (Schizophrenia means split mind)
>>745679976
>How do your symptoms manifest
I'm not exactly sure what that means?
>What does it feel like?
To put it into a relatable way;
It's like being ran over and trapped under a bus, yet also being the driver of said bus. You know at any moment you could just drive the bus off yourself and be free. But at the same time, you don't have the power to, because you're stuck under it.
>>745679976
>Do you take meds?
No
>Do they help?
I would imagine they would help on some level.
>Can you work a job?
I'm a neet.
>>745675471
what are some common misconseptions about schitzophrenia?
Can you enjoy music with ur schizophrenia
bump
>>745679998
>Instead people think I'm weird and don't like me
Maybe you should figure out why it is people think you're weird and don't like you. Then work to change that. That would be much better than trying to use a superficial thing like mental illness for attention.
Don't you think?
>>745680120
>what's so bad about it?
The worst parts are negative thought loops. Being stuck in your own head on an idea that makes you want to rip your own face off.
Being stuck in paranoid thought feeling completely overwhelmed by anxiety and depression to the point where you cannot even move from your chair.
These are just to name a few.
>i met a couple people now that have and they don't seem all that fucked up
As I said earlier, you won't be able to tell that most Schizos have anything "wrong" with them.
>i thought schizos were like super fucked insane ppl
Common misconception.
>>745680291
>where are the voices
In u're butt.
>>745680468
>Whats your favorite color?
RGB 57, 255, 20
>>745681079
wow that's pretty fucked, does it ever happen in public and people notice?
>>745680120 was me btw
Do you think the cause of your schizophrenia is a chemical imbalance in the brain?
>>745681079
> That would be much better than trying to use a superficial thing like mental illness for attention.
>this whole thread
wat
>>745681079
are the crazy people at the busstop yelling at nobody schizos? do you do that?
>pls vocooroo some of your rants
>>745679175
>Kawasaki
>>745681079
>RGB 57, 255, 20
Checks out
>>745675471
I watched Shutter Island (which you recommended to me) for the second time with a date and got laid. Thanks dude.
I've been seeing lots of trippy hallucinations, disassociating, hearing lots of voices, and getting this feeling like my head is being pulled apart by wires. Fucking hell. I need to sleep more.
I did some more LSD and felt really worse for wear. It really hits us harder than people who aren't sick. I have to rescind my recommendation of it -- healthy people have fun playing with madness, but our lives are already just a bad acid trip.
I haven't stopped by in a while. How have you been? Have you enjoyed any new movies or vidya you'd recommend? How's the schiz been treating you?
>>745680648
>It feels like part of your brain develops a mind of its own
GG. that's me. Except it's mostly subconscious. I'm only vaguely aware of what the other side is thinking. I get hints and ideas and creative scenarios from it.
That's how I solve problems in my sleep.
I'd be interested in an FMRI of Schizophrenic brains, focusing on activity between the two hemispheres. Vs. normal people and Vs. highly intelligent people.
You might be just too damned smart for your own good.
>>745680290
>I imagine paranoia sucks around people.
Paranoia is probably one of the worst things to experience around other people. It's similar to the stories people tell about the first time they smoke weed and go into public only to find that they think "everyone knows I'm high they're all looking at me"
>>745680751
>what are some common misconseptions about schitzophrenia?
See : >>745681079
>>745680808
>Can you enjoy music with ur schizophrenia
Yes, I love music.
>>745681234
>does it ever happen in public
Occasionally, but I avoid public places.
>and people notice?
No, people are too absorbed in their own personal lives. I also keep my emotions very internalized.
>>745681250
>Do you think the cause of your schizophrenia is a chemical imbalance in the brain?
I think that's a side effect, not the cause.
>>745681391
>are the crazy people at the busstop yelling at nobody schizos?
I'm sure some of them are.
>do you do that?
No, I don't go outside often.
>pls vocooroo some of your rants
I don't do voice, makes me anxious. Only privileged people are allowed to hear my voice.
>>745681776
>Only privileged people are allowed to hear my voice
Gotta have that trust.
Are you a spiritual person, Anon?
>>745681776
are traps gay?
>>745681776
Aye. What's your favorite genre then
>>745680768
If you had your schizophrenia in your school years, did it affected your grades or social life at all?
>>745681776
Now we just want to hear you more.
>also
you seem really smart. Are you smart, anon? Did you finish HS/College?
>you do a great job of finding analogies and ways to explain stuff
do you have a big penis? are you a virgin?
no homo
>>745681437
>Checks out
God damn that bike is sexy.
>>745681369
>wat
>implying
It's just a talking point. Something most people don't have a lot of knowledge about and an interesting topic.
>>745681462
>Thanks dude.
No problem dudo.
>I need to sleep more.
Yes, you do. Sleep is vital.
>It really hits us harder than people who aren't sick.
Did you take it with someone else? You really need someone around to help keep you in check.
>How have you been?
Up and down, as usual.
>Have you enjoyed any new movies or vidya you'd recommend?
Not really, I haven't watched anything in a while.
>How's the schiz been treating you?
Been a bit rough the past few days.
>>745681583
>I'd be interested in an FMRI of Schizophrenic brains
That is something I too would be very interested in. I'm sure there are some studies somewhere you could find.
>You might be just too damned smart for your own good.
I have been told that.
>>745681925
>Gotta have that trust.
Trust is extremely important. Can't just trust every anon who seems friendly, ya know?
>>745682153
>What's your favorite genre then
Eletronic. Primarily anything without lyrics.
>>745675471
I give you a (You) for a (You) in return. How's it going, anon?
>>745682590
>I'm sure there are some studies somewhere you could find.
Most studies like that are behind paywalls. Have to have university access to get to them.
>>745682125
>are traps gay?
Pic related
>>745682209
>If you had your schizophrenia in your school years, did it affected your grades or social life at all?
I wasn't diagnosed with it until I was 20, so I don't know if it was the cause of my childhood misbehavior. My grades were terrible, and so was my social life as a child though. I didn't attend school 50% of the time, had no friends except the weird kids that orbited me.
>>745682296
>Now we just want to hear you more.
Even more of a reason for me not to do it. ;3
>you seem really smart.
I have been told that before.
>Are you smart, anon?
I don't know, am I?
>Did you finish HS/College?
I dropped out of school around 9th grade, because I was bored and never learned anything. Around 21 I got my ged and just taught myself all the stuff I needed to get it.
Then attended college for a year, and got bored because I never learned anything.
Moral of the story, you don't learn shit in school.
>do you have a big penis?
It's kind of short, but fat.
>are you a virgin?
Yes.
>no homo
none taken.
Have you or will you ever fuck a dog
>>745683364
Or anything not quite human?
>>745682689
>I give you a (You) for a (You) in return
Your free (you) has been declined. Please contact customer service, ticket number: 331241172
>How's it going, anon?
Meh.
How about you?
>>745683031
>Most studies like that are behind paywalls.
Damn, I'll have to see if I can't find some later then. If I do I'll post them in the next one.
>>745683364
>Have you or will you ever fuck a dog
Are you the same anon that's asked me this before?
To answer your question in short, yes.
>>745683449
>Or anything not quite human?
I'd love to fuck a lot of nonhuman things. Particularly aliens, that'd be badass.
>>745682209
Not OP, but I'm a childhood schizophrenic. It kicked in when I was just entering high school, and I had to drop out for a year and do a lot of therapy before I was ready to go back.
I'm a math/compsci major with a 3.9 GPA now, though, so it doesn't have to hold you back forever.
>>745682316
I took a microdose while studying and ended up in psychosis-land. I was able to stay in control, but it wasn't a good idea.
Do you ever find sleeping hard? I find that's when the voices and hallucinations go into overdrive, and I'll often rather stay up until 3am and pass out than stay awake with nothing but my own personal hell.
I know it can be so, so hard. Sending lots of .
>>745682125
Traps are outside the bounds of normal sexuality. I prefer muscular men but I'd nom on a trap dick all day long
Funny. I remember a college class where we could collaborate to write a 5 to 15 page report. So I'm sitting in the student center with my classmates - all looking at our notes.
They're trying to figure out how to stretch what they learned out to 5 pages, while I'm trying to figure out how to cram it all down to 15.
That's when I realized I was not like the others.
Funny how I'm writing this and I start smelling stale beer. There's no beer in my house - hasn't been any for years. But just the memory made me smell beer.
>>745683673
>I took a microdose while studying and ended up in psychosis-land.
Interesting, I didn't think a microdose would send you straight into psychosis. Was it accompanied by the euphoria?
This makes me want to try microdosing even more.
>Do you ever find sleeping hard?
Extremely. I have an extremely disturbed sleep schedule. I'm either unable to sleep for hours on end and thus sleep deprived, or sleep for 13 solid hours.
>Traps are outside the bounds of normal sexuality.
I think we need to have the talk, anon.
bump
>>745684150
Is that because you can't wake up or because you prefer to dream?
I often sleep long hours because I prefer to dream.
>>745675471
Tell me more about paranoia. How do you deal with it. Can you tell if you're being paranoid? Are you doubting a lot ? How do you sort out the truth?
bump
>>745683827
>while I'm trying to figure out how to cram it all down to 15.
I have the opposite problem, I tend to compress everything into small bits of information. So I struggle to make long essays. I wind up with just loads and loads of fluff, and just restating the thing I said 20 times.
>But just the memory made me smell beer.
Did you often drink while you wrote or something?
>>745684180
>bump
Nou
>>745684302
>Is that because you can't wake up
It's because I can never get enough sleep. I may sleep 8 hours and feel like I never fell asleep.
>or because you prefer to dream?
I actually seldom dream. I had my first dream in about 3 months last night.
>>745684343
>Tell me more about paranoia.
I'll try.
>How do you deal with it.
Just have to let it run its course.
>Can you tell if you're being paranoid?
It's pretty obvious, yes.
>Are you doubting a lot ?
Yes, I have a lot of self-doubt, and doubt in general issues.
>How do you sort out the truth?
It's difficult to say. I don't have a routine, and even if I know what I'm thinking is false, I still believe it. Even if I have evidence to the contrary.
>>745684150
It felt like I was on a rollercoaster ride, about to plunge down a giant slope. Except I was agonizingly stuck there for like two days. I probably fucked up my dose.
I remember looking out the window while doing my homework, and everything suddenly seemed strangely beautiful. Then I looked back at my paper and saw tessellating technicolor fractals.
There was euphoria but there was also a lot of anxiety, and a significant increase in paranoia and hallucinations for a week.
Intended dosage was 13mics. I can't have taken too much more than that, and similar things have happened every time I've taken it, so it's probably just different for us.
For God's sake get a trip sitter if you do it, and leave a couple days free to come back to normal.
> I think we need to have the talk, anon.
I'm already too far gone to save.
>>745683566
>Your free (you) has been declined. >Please contact customer service, ticket number: 331241172
I want to resolve this here oversight ASAP.
>Meh.
How about you?
Subtly and infuriatingly disturbingly with certain actual human influences around me, and I would like to do something to have things improve and get better in my life, but I just don't know what to do to snap the impasse that I'm in as far as earning a living goes.
>>745684838
>Did you often drink while you wrote or something?
In college, oh yeah. I think I spent half my college life besotted.
>I actually seldom dream
Which explains your sleep quality problem. And that could cause all your schizophrenic symptoms, btw. You might not be schitzo at all, you could be chronically REM deprived.
Have you ever had your sleep tested?
>>745675471
>free (you)s
So is this like an Alice/Reimu/Nausicaa thread?
>>745685457
No, this is more of an AMA thread.
But we're pretty much all friendly here.
>>745685284
Disturbed with and by certain things not disturbingly.
>>745683566
>>745685220
>I probably fucked up my dose.
It really does sound like you did a full dose.
>Then I looked back at my paper and saw tessellating technicolor fractals.
I get these when I smoke weed.
>For God's sake get a trip sitter if you do it
For sure. I don't plan to trip solo for my first time, even if it's just a microdose.
>>745685284
>I want to resolve this here oversight ASAP.
You'll have to contact the manager for that, sorry. I don't have the authority to do anything about it.
>but I just don't know what to do to snap the impasse that I'm in as far as earning a living goes.
I know the feeling.
>>745684343
>>745684838
What is it about you that make you feel paranoid? What are your fears? Do you at least have someone you can fully trust? Do you fear intimacy ?
>>745685603
Well I'm pretty bored and mostly looking to pass the time, so I'll ask a few.
How were you diagnosed with schizophrenia? How does it manifest? Do you take anything to control it? What's the long-term prognosis?
>>745685875
What sort of threads do you visit on 4chan?
>>745685926
Some of that is already ITT, so I'll answer them.
>How does it manifest?
>>745680183
>I almost always have voices and paranoia. They're my most common symptoms.
>>745680648
>To put it into a relatable way;
>It's like being ran over and trapped under a bus, yet also being the driver of said bus. You know at any moment you could just drive the bus off yourself and be free. But at the same time, you don't have the power to, because you're stuck under it.
>>745681079
>The worst parts are negative thought loops. Being stuck in your own head on an idea that makes you want to rip your own face off.
Being stuck in paranoid thought feeling completely overwhelmed by anxiety and depression to the point where you cannot even move from your chair.
These are just to name a few.
>>745685457
Less Touhous and more lolis and traps. Leave your coat and your sanity at the door.
>>745685875
I actually didn't take a full dose. 200μg was enough to have me drooling on the couch for hours, leaving my body, and communing with some swirling eldritch consciousness.
I see some fractals when I smoke weed, too. It's a sign of hypersensitivity to hallucinogens. If you see anything clearly defined on ganja then practically any amount of Lucy will have you tripping balls.
Are you spiritual or religious OP?
>>745685457
>So is this like an Alice/Reimu/Nausicaa thread?
I have been compared to them before, but I don't think my threads are like theirs. Other than the fact I reply to everyone out of merit.
>>745685358
>You might not be schitzo at all, you could be chronically REM deprived
My understanding of it is that the Schizo is what's interfering with my sleep.
>Have you ever had your sleep tested?
No, I've wanted to for a long time though. I've had sleep issues practically all my life as well.
>>745685887
>What is it about you that make you feel paranoid?
I'm not really sure how to answer that?
>What are your fears?
Making the wrong choice.
>Do you at least have someone you can fully trust?
I want to say yes to that, but I don't know.
>Do you fear intimacy ?
It makes me uncomfortable, but I don't fear it.
>>745685926
>How were you diagnosed with schizophrenia?
How? What exactly do you mean "how"?
>What's the long-term prognosis?
Shit's gonna get worse, to put it simply.
>Do you take anything to control it?
Negative.
>>745686244
>What sort of threads do you visit on 4chan?
I don't have a "type" of thread really. Just whatever isn't the normal cancer that's posted daily.
>>745686574
Have you ever considered suicide? Not trying to be edgy, but if your life degraded past a point of being acceptable would you be willing to end your own life?
Gonna help bump as an excuse to post more fuccbois.
do you play any vidya games? if so which ones
>>745686373
Not to belittle your condition, but that doesn't actually sound like schizophrenia as much as standard anxiety / depression. Norepinephrine reuptake, specifically.
Few people actually realize there's like 4 or 5 types of depression. Norepinephrine reuptake is one of the worst, because it's like having a little demon that follows you around all day telling you the worst things about yourself. And the thing that hurts the most is that he never lies. It'd be easy to just ignore if he was spouting nonsense, but everything he says is 100% true, and it reminds you how pathetic you are.
NRIs (Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors) can help, but you become chemically dependent on them and want to kill yourself if you ever miss a dose.
How was it that you came to the diagnosis of schizophrenic? Was it a psychiatrist, or self-diagnosed?
>>745686474
I don't wear sanity. It's not my color. The coat stays with me, though.
>>745686574
>I have been compared to them before, but I don't think my threads are like theirs
Their threads are mostly "people who recognize each other talking about random shit", so if it fits that bill, it's basically the same
>How? What exactly do you mean "how"?
I'm wondering if it was a medical doctor who diagnosed you or if it was a WebMD thing
>Shit's gonna get worse, to put it simply.
That's unfortunate. Sorry to hear. I know some mental conditions get better with age, but not clear on schizophrenia.
>Negative.
Try to stay that way as long as you can. All neurological drugs replace natural functions and you become addicted.
>>745686574
>My understanding of it is that the Schizo is what's interfering with my sleep
I'm suggesting it could be the other way around. That a lack of REM might be causing all your symptoms.
People have died from lack of REM. But before they did, they were almost indistinguishable from schizophrenics.
It's only a possibility. And the only way to test it is to get you REMing on the regular - which I don't know if we're capable of doing.
>>745686474
>Leave your coat and your sanity at the door.
>mfw
>It's a sign of hypersensitivity to hallucinogens.
Oh, I didn't know that.
>If you see anything clearly defined on ganja
I don't get full on hallucinations (that I can remember) perse, I do get a lot of fractals and weird shit like walls breathing and stuff like that.
>then practically any amount of Lucy will have you tripping balls.
I figured that would be the case.
>>745686574
>I'm not really sure how to answer that?
I mean you're paranoid about something. What is the "something". Is it something about you that you don't want other know. Or is it more that you assume people just want to take advantadge of you ?
>>745686804
Every day, fam. My life is pretty together, but when existing is constant suffering I hardly see the point in sticking around.
>>745686974
I've talked to OP before and we have pretty similar symptoms.
> religious, paranoid, and persecutory delusions
> daylight hallucinations (monsters)
> voices
> fractals, static, dark moving shapes
> extreme anxiety and paranoia
Nah. Not depression.
>>745675471
what type of schizophrenia do you have
>>745686489
>Are you spiritual or religious OP?
I identify as Pantheist, as it's the closest to what I believe.
I'm a fairly spiritual person.
>>745686804
>Have you ever considered suicide?
Yes.
>would you be willing to end your own life?
I don't think I'll ever reach that point.
>>745686884
>do you play any vidya games? if so which ones
Yes, I play LoL, Factorio and Dark souls is my favorite geimu.
>>745686974
>but that doesn't actually sound like schizophrenia as much as standard anxiety/depression
Those go hand and hand with Schizo, though.
>but everything he says is 100% true, and it reminds you how pathetic you are.
I don't actually have that.
>How was it that you came to the diagnosis of schizophrenic? Was it a psychiatrist, or self-diagnosed?
Psychologist. I'm not medically diagnosed.
>so if it fits that bill, it's basically the same
I have people I recognize, but it's not the main bulk of people who post.
>Sorry to hear.
No need to be sorry, anon.
>I know some mental conditions get better with age, but not clear on schizophrenia.
It's one of the ones that get worse with age. (unless you're one of the lucky ones)
damn
>>745675471
What is your favorite hallucination?
>>745675471
Been diagnosed Type 1 Schizophrenic for four years now .. but suffered thru shit since my mid-teens. Reading your posts is like reading something out my own head... I guess the diagnosis was right. I still fight with the truth for reasons that escape me.
Stay strong, Anon.
Titties tax.
>>745687726
Then I recommend you read about shamanism and metaphysical causes of schizophrenia if you haven't already. Best of luck
>>745687347
Yeah, daylight hallucinations kind of break the depression definition. Although depending on one's personal definition of "voices" those could still apply, there's no hallucinations in anxiety-world.
>>745687726
Well there's no alternate emotion that I have value in expressing, so sorry-ness it shall be. You don't need to be at fault to be sorry. Sorry is an emotion. Apology is an action. Don't confuse the two :)
Have you tried seeking a physical labor job (working in a plant or on a farm)? I hear that physical labor can help distract the mind from ailments.
>>745687347
Not OP.
As I wrote earlier, I beat my paranoia. But I think it was kinda mild to begin with.
But there was a time when I could swear people were stealing my shit, hiding things on me, deliberately putting up roadblocks to getting anything done, deliberately screwing with my head, telling me lies, etc..
But then, I realized I just wasn't that important.
After that, my first thought when I can't find my keys would still be "who hid my keys?". But then my second thought would be "why would anyone hide my keys?" And the obvious answer would be "nobody would". So I would defeat my paranoia that way. Eventually, I got it down to thinking "why would she move my keys?", then "thoughtlessness is far more likely than malice".
Even now, my first thought is paranoid, but I "know better", so all my subsequent thoughts are benign.
>>745687012
>I'm suggesting it could be the other way around.
I'm aware.
>That a lack of REM might be causing all your symptoms.
It could be possible, but I don't think that's the case.
>which I don't know if we're capable of doing.
I'm sure there's a drug out there for that, but I wouldn't take it.
>>745687292
>What is the "something".
That's insanely hard to put into words when I'm not paranoid. But it's usually something vaguely like "I'm going to get stabbed in the back".
>>745687715
>what type of schizophrenia do you have
Paranoid Schizophrenia (This term isn't correct anymore, and I don't know what it's called currently)
>>745687801
>damn
I agree.
>>745687892
>What is your favorite hallucination?
It was a one-time hallucination; a black hole. I stuck my arm in it, it ate my body and time reversed.
>>745688432
>I stuck my arm in it, it ate my body and time reversed.
Trippy
>>745688432
I can hook you up with a REMjob
>>745688008
>I still fight with the truth for reasons that escape me.
I know that feeling, all too well.
>Stay strong, Anon.
You too, friend.
>Titties tax.
What exactly am I looking at here?
>>745688048
>Then I recommend you read about shamanism and metaphysical causes of schizophrenia if you haven't already.
I'll look into it.
>>745688141
>Sorry is an emotion. Apology is an action. Don't confuse the two :)
I know. There's still no need to be sorry.
>Have you tried seeking a physical labor job (working in a plant or on a farm)?
>110 lb pastey white neet
>working on a farm
kek
>>745688655
>Trippy
That's why it was my favorite.
>>745688683
>I can hook you up with a REMjob
Uhhh...
>>745688432
do you have any memories of bieng paranoid and how you reacted/what you did
>>745687110
Yeah, that's enough to make any acid experience pretty intense. Another caveat - don't take big doses unless you're feeling really stable. Bad trips are like PTSD-level traumatizing and hard to avoid.
The more serious acid hallucinations look more like what I posted here:
>>745687347
Acid is definitely kind of scary. At some point you experience the attached gif and then the old you is just gone for 6+ hours. Then you slowly come back feeling all fried and wondering what the fuck happened.
>>745688141
By voices I mean actually hearing somebody talking. For a long time I didn't realize they weren't real and thought people were talking shit about me, calling my name, knocking on the door, etc.
Still get voices talking to me when I'm falling asleep. Latest one told me in a Southern drawl that I'm doing a mighty fine job.
>>745688170
Glad you found a way to defeat the delusions with reason. I legitimately thought angels were visiting me, government was stalking me, etc.
Still do, occasionally. I broke up with my last boyfriend because I heard an angel singing in Arabic and converted to Islam for the duration of a psychotic episode.
>>745688911
Illegal immigrants work on farms and in factories because you don't need education or training, and doing physical labor is how you get stronger and become not-a-110lb-pasty-white-neet
If nothing else you could try the Saitama routine: 100 pushups, 100 situps, 100 squats a day. The lighter weight you are, the easier it is. Of course if you can't get to 100 on the first day, just do all you can. The important thing is that you never do less the following day, and that you do it EVERY DAY
>>745689191
Well, at least that's a positive voice. Better than voices telling you to kill the president.
>>745688911
Titties, you are looking at titties (with sticky notes)
>>745689191
>I legitimately thought angels were visiting me, government was stalking me, etc.
Every one of them could have been defeated by the simple phrase, "I'm just not that damned important".
Angels? Government stalking? You're just not that damned important. The absurdity just kind of kicks you in the nads.
At least it worked for me.
Hi op,
What were your first delusions? Do you have trouble differentiating still or do you have a-ha moments?
And also do you smoke cigarettes?
>>745689010
>do you have any memories of bieng paranoid and how you reacted/what you did
The only memories of paranoia that I have are ones I would rather not talk about.
>>745689191
>Yeah, that's enough to make any acid experience pretty intense.
That's partially why I want to take acid. I want that visceral "what the fuck is going on" feeling. But, I want to build up to it. I'll just have to be very careful with the amount I do the first time.
>Another caveat - don't take big doses unless you're feeling really stable
I'll keep that in mind. I didn't plan on taking any big doses for a long time.
>>745689550
>you don't need education or training
You tryin' say I'm dum, anon?
>physical labor is how you get stronger and become not-a-110lb-pasty-white-neet
Obviously, but there's a gradual build-up for that kind of thing.
I also have no desire to do such physically demanding work.
>>745689558
>Titties, you are looking at titties (with sticky notes)
I gathered that much, kek.
>>7456801 near gainesvile by any chance? tryna hang if so?
>>745689588
>Every one of them could have been defeated by the simple phrase, "I'm just not that damned important".
You must have the mental fortitude of titanium or something. I tried a very similar method, to no avail. I just wound up in the same thought loops. No amount of logic, or reasoning has ever been able to stop it.
>>745689725
>Hi op,
Hello.
>What were your first delusions?
Delusions? Hmm, thinking that someone was trying to kidnap me.
>Do you have trouble differentiating still
Occasionally. But for the most part I've seen everything before so I know it's not real.
>And also do you smoke cigarettes?
No. They're disgusting.
>>745689989
>near gainesvile by any chance? tryna hang if so?
I'm quite far from gainesvile.
>>745689588
The trouble is that it's just not that simple.
When nothing, not even your family, seem actually real; when you have died and been reborn in a surreal waking nightmare; when the anxiety and dread crush down on you with the pressure of an ocean; when there are monsters watching you...
There is no voice of reason that will save me. All I can do is hide under the covers and wait it out.
>>745689896
I feel incredibly burnt out by acid every time I do it, even the microdoses. I guess I'm beginning to want shit to just be normal and real at this point.
Still beautiful, though.
Do you ever wanna hurt/kill people or is that just a serio type?
>>745690591
I hear cigarettes help with hallucinations. That's the real reason I always have fags in my mouth.
For real though don't smoke. Did it three times in my life and I still crave them.
>>745691139
>All I can do is hide under the covers and wait it out.
This.
>I feel incredibly burnt out by acid every time I do it
Do you do acid often? I get that feeling when I go on binges with weed. After smoking consistently for about 2-3 weeks I start to feel... "burnt out" is a very close descriptor but not quite right.
>Still beautiful, though.
That's what I want, just to experience that beauty every now and then.
>>745691225
>Do you ever wanna hurt/kill people
Yes.
>or is that just a serio type?
Yes, it's just a stereotype.
>>745691381
>For real though don't smoke.
I've smoked cig a few times in my life, I'll never pick them up though. I think they taste disgusting.
Unfortunately, I smoke blunts with friends though. I've only ever craved cigs one time, after smoking one I immediately regretted it.
This is most accurate recreation of mild acid hallucinations I've found.
>>745691846
I've done acid three times in the last five months. It's not like weed -- when the trip is over you're usually happy to be back to reality. Then eventually you get curious again.
Tripping too much frays the soul. Also, acid causes a decrease in positive emotions for a couple weeks due to overstimulating serotonin receptors.
>>745692196
>This is most accurate recreation of mild acid hallucinations I've found.
Those are almost exactly the tessellations I experience day-to-day, minus the color and not quite as intense. Very jagged, hard angles, "spiraling" inwards.
>I've done acid three times in the last five months.
That's far fewer times than I would have guessed.
>It's not like weed
Oh, I'm aware. But, it's the closest thing I can relate it to. Especially, the way you describe the "feelings" of it. I'm not really talking about the compared highs of each.
>Tripping too much frays the soul.
I've heard about that before.
>Also, acid causes a decrease in positive emotions for a couple weeks due to overstimulating serotonin receptors.
I already don't experience positive emotions very often, so there's no worry there.
>>745693059
bimp
>>745689896
>You tryin' say I'm dum, anon?
No, but "NEET" literally means "No Education, Employment, or Training". Hence the "don't need education or training" comment
>>745693672
>No, but "NEET" literally means "No Education, Employment, or Training"
I know, I was just bustin your balls.
>>745693059
Wait, you see those everyday too?
I mentioned them to my doctor and he told me I might just be having chronic silent migraines. I started thinking they weren't a symptom of schizophrenia.
They get a lot more intense on acid and cover everything. It's quite pretty.
> That's far fewer times than I would have guessed.
I think it's pretty typical for someone with a healthy relationship with acid. More casual users do it once or twice a year. Some once a decade.
I know a couple people who do acid every weekend or so, and I can tell something's wrong with them at this point. One of them talks in acidisms on a daily basis at this point (halting, vague speech)
Weed is to acid like coffee is to meth.
When I come out of a trip I'm legitimately not the same person I was coming in.
Everything from my philosophy on life to my taste in music changes, and not always for the best. It's like reincarnation.
Nobody's really ever ready for their first big dose of acid. There's no coming back from seeing the world in that way.
It is a very positive and introspective experience if you're at a calm place in life.
>>745694437
>Wait, you see those everyday too?
Not every day, they're just the most common ones. I don't experience fractals and tessellations every day, they come and go.
>told me I might just be having chronic silent migraines
I've never even heard of those before.
>I started thinking they weren't a symptom of schizophrenia.
I never associated them with Schizophrenia, I always thought it was just something wrong with my eyes.
> One of them talks in acidisms on a daily basis at this point (halting, vague speech)
That sounds really fucking unhealthy. Taking acid that much CANNOT be good for the brain.
>I'm legitimately not the same person I was coming in.
That's the beautiful thing about Acid. That's one of the big things that drew me to wanting to try it. The idea of egodeath is amazing to me.
>>745694437
Something that came to mind since you also experience tessellations, do you ever get the sensation that you're looking through fog?
Like everything has sort of a greyish white tinge? But it's only directly in front of your eyes, and not completely surrounding you?
This is something I've been noticing more and more recently.
Do you believe in Aliens
im super retarded so i wanted to know, do schizophrenics really hallucinate and hear voices in their head? i just cant wrap my head around that for some reason.
>>745695806
>Do you believe in Aliens
Believe is not the correct word. Belief is something you place in something ethereal, like a god.
But, to answer your question; yes, aliens do exist.
>>745696074
>do schizophrenics really hallucinate and hear voices in their head?
Yes, but not all Schizophrenics experience them.
>i just cant wrap my head around that for some reason.
That's understandable, it's something you have never experienced.
Does knowing why ,in a medical sense, youre having these hallucinations help you deal with them? Like, when you think, these are just chemicals in my brain, do the voices go down?
Round 2
do you believe the Illuminati exist,
Do you believe that are some kind of god
>>745694066
I'd recommend waiting until you're not depressed for your first trip.
I made that mistake and I'm still hesitant to do large doses.
It's hard to describe the way that one loses control while on acid. Time disappears. You disappear. Your life up to that point becomes like a fantasy novel you no longer care about.
When you peak you will discover difficult truths about who you really are. You will see the inside of your mind as the universe itself.
Whether that enlightens you or causes you to break down is something that depends on your general mental state. It's also probably the real reason to try acid.
>>745695771
Yeah, I see it. I feel like I'm looking through thick television static most of the time.
>>745696074
Yep. Not sure why you're so surprised -- you must have had a dream at some point. We just dream while we're awake and are awake while we're dreaming.
I think I'm gonna go to bed now. Take care shinobu, it's always a joy to hang out here. Nobody in "real life" knows or gets what I'm going through.
>>745675471
Do you own a radio yet? Try a piezo buzzer
I need to step away for a few minutes, there is a chance the thread could 404. If it does, I'll see you guys some other time.
>>745696514
>Does knowing why ,in a medical sense, youre having these hallucinations help you deal with them?
I think what you're trying to ask is; if knowing that you're hallucinating helps to manage the hallucinations?
Yes, knowing that what you're seeing isn't real does help to manage them. Makes them a little easier to disregard.
>Like, when you think, these are just chemicals in my brain, do the voices go down?
No. The best way I can relate it to you is; imagine you're having a bad emotion. Like you're upset because your girlfriend just broke up with you. Would knowing that those emotions are just cause by chemicals in your brain help you to not feel upset? It's kind of like that.
Sorry if it sounds condescending. That's not intended.
>>745696532
>do you believe the Illuminati exist
Can you define the "Illuminati"?
>Do you believe that are some kind of god
Yes, we are all god. God is everything, and everyone. We are all one with the universe.
>>745696797
>I'd recommend waiting until you're not depressed for your first trip.
Oh, for sure. That's something I won't make the mistake of doing. But, with my luck I'll go into it manic and wind up thinking I'm some sort of magical being and jump off a building thinking I can fly.
But that's what tripsitters are for.
>I think I'm gonna go to bed now.
Sleep well, friend. May your dreams be peaceful.
See you next time.
>Nobody in "real life" knows or gets what I'm going through.
I know what you mean.
>>745697013
>Do you own a radio yet?
Nope.
>>745697344
ooooohhhh it all makes sense now, no tbats not super condescendig i actually get what your saying, sorry for shkt typing ive been forced to use my psvita for internet things and the keboard is shitty
>>745697667
>667
So close
>ooooohhhh it all makes sense now
Glad I could help you to understand.
>sorry for shkt typing
Worry not, friendo. I know what it's like to have to use something you're not used to in order to access the internet.
>>745698170
For how long you have been answering questions
>>745698857
>For how long you have been answering questions
Today?
Almost five hours
Total?
A year, one month and 15 days, if memory serves.
what music have you beenlistening to lately? Play any vidya games recently? Watch any good movies?
>>745698961
for what reason do you do this, other than making better know the schizophrenia to the other people
>>745699298
>what music have you beenlistening to lately?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzZeOYSI35c (this song speaks to me on a whole nother level)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS6PTb0A9vU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XAbNhvbHvA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0_ardwzTrA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKyND2uwjqE (I love this song lel)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55JUpfyPeg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8N8ESXNyZc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZDOJ_tBEDw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69k6ps-C0sQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uEijJoiZbU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzGFEr9oy14
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XpQI0ztOic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50LShhlkTfw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O2JdoFMIwk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUaMFwFWAUE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51K4cUTuvc0
>Play any vidya games recently?
I haven't really played anything in the past week.
>Watch any good movies?
Haven't watched any movies or tv in a few months except Rick and Morty when the new episodes air.
>>745699515
>for what reason do you do this
I'm looking for the answer to a question.
How are your dreams? Do you often have nightmares? Also how do you quiet your mind down to sleep?
I remember you saying before you were diagnosed schizo when you were going in to the doc's for sleep problems
>>745700056
>How are your dreams?
Far and few between. I had my first dream in 3 months last night.
>Do you often have nightmares?
Almost all of my dreams are nightmares.
>Also how do you quiet your mind down to sleep?
By being so tired I don't have the chance to think.
>when you were going in to the doc's for sleep problems
Yep, the sleep problems were pretty much ignored though.
Maybe ignored is too harsh of a word, but they were put to the side, then I stopped going.
>>745700098
>>745699922
>I'm looking for the answer to a question.
How do you expect to find this answer if you're just getting people to ask you questions?
>>745700906
Not the same anon
>>745700906
>How do you expect to find this answer if you're just getting people to ask you questions?
Your question is the answer to your question.
I'm not really sure how else to word it.
My Daughter is giving birth to the Antichrist on the 23rd in Bethlehem and I don't know how to find her because satanists abducted her any clues?
do you play any musical instruments? Are you a virgin and if not how was the sex? Did the hallucinations interfere with that?
>>745701627
>and I don't know how to find her because satanists abducted her any clues?
Satanists like round numbers. Are there any abandoned churches (or whatever the equivalent is?) that are on streets who have an even amount of numbers that are dividable by 3?
That would be my first place to check.
>>745701718
>do you play any musical instruments?
No, but I wish I could.
>Are you a virgin
Yes
whats the scariest hallucination youve had? Have you hallucinated any dead family members?
>>745702195
>whats the scariest hallucination youve had?
Animals crawling on me. Spiders, snakes shit like that.
>Have you hallucinated any dead family members?
I have not.
How are you with horror games? Stuff like Silent hilll 1,2 3, resixent evil, outlast, and the classic, five nights at freddies. Do theg fuck with you? Have you thought something in a movie or game is a hallucination? or has there been a time where you thought something on a screen was real but it was a hallucinatikn?
>>745702117
>Yes
No way!
>>745699922
I'll ask you since other anon is autistic, what question are you trying to answer?
>>745702669
>How are you with horror games?
I love old horror games like the early silent hills and resistant evils. RE2 and 3 were my favorites.
>Do theg fuck with you?
Not really.
>Have you thought something in a movie or game is a hallucination?
Can't say that I have.
>or has there been a time where you thought something on a screen was real but it was a hallucinatikn?
Nope.
>>745702685
>No way!
Yep.
>>745702994
>since other anon is autistic
Yoooo that's mean as fuck!
kek
>what question are you trying to answer?
There are 3 paths in front of me, I need to figure out which one to take.
After being filled with self-doubt when one of my paths was obstructed, I seek to find if the self-doubt is justified. After that is figured out, the path will illuminate itself.
>>745703428
I don't know what this is in relation to, but you have my attention. What's the relation/context to this "crossroads" you're at, and what caused this apparent self doubt
>>745703041
Whats your favorite out of the first 4 SH games? Mines gotta be 3, its so gnarly and twisted, but it has a sick sort of charm to it, plus heather is the best protag in anything ever imo.
>>745703604
>I don't know what this is in relation to
That was kind of intentional.
>What's the relation/context to this "crossroads" you're at
I'm not sure what you mean?
>and what caused this apparent self doubt
The obstruction + a fucked up brain.
>>745703669
>Whats your favorite out of the first 4 SH games?
Which one is the one where after you show up in the town and leave the diner you go down some stairs and find yourself in a chainlink fence maze then get swarmed by weird little shits?
That one.
>>745703956
Well if you don't tell anyone what you're talking about or what the obstruction is, or means, then you probably won't get to far with it
>>745703956
Silent Hill 4th track on Metallicas album And Justice For All
>>745704040
>Well if you don't tell anyone what you're talking about or what the obstruction is, or means, then you probably won't get to far with it
I'm not looking for someone to answer my question for me. The details are left vague for a reason.
>>745704055
>Silent Hill 4th track on Metallicas album And Justice For All
What an obscure way of saying that. Made me laugh though
>>745704243
Well, it's time for me to get some sleep.
Anyone is welcome to add me on Discord if they would like to.
Laxeris#4748
Goodnight to anyone still lurking.
>>745705118
Good night, Shinobu-anon.
(Is she a female version of Shinobi the ninja?)
