You pick a superpower, other anons limit it
Time travel
>>714794921
The ability to make people orgasm by pointing at them.
At a rate of 1 second per second
>>714794921
Not being a nigger
>>714794997
however, you also orgasm yourself (spunk your pants)
>>714794997
Makes you sterile for a week for everytime you do it
>>714794921
>ifunny
Strechy powers
>>714794997
Only if you are related to them
Teleportation
>>714794921
as before, each time you time travel you spunk your pants
>>714794997
but you also have to point at a picture of Nicholas Cage having sex with ur dad
>>714795176
each teleport causes you to spunk pants
>>714795265
Ability: inable to spunk pants
>>714795114
>>714795116
These both just make it more awesome.
>>714795176
You can only teleport to wherever Nicholas Cage is standing with his balls on your forehead.
>>714794921
you cant travel faster than time already travels
You are basically just a normal human
Superhuman Intelligence
>>714795350
pretty sick when you think it through
>>714795454
Everybody thinks you are a complete retard and nobody will ever take you serious
Ability to manipulate the mass of objects.
Being able to control people that simply know my name.
The ability to control gravity
>>714795167
You can't stretch yourself. You can only be stretched by other things.
>>714795664
They explode seconds after you start controlling them
>>714795664
1 in 10 people can control you in the same way
I'd go for the ability to absorb abilities from people.
>>714795664
Nobody knows who you are.
The ability to cum anytime
>>714795318
But the pants you buy spunk you.
>>714795664
nobody knows you
>>714795454
Only when you look in the mirror
Mind control
I can spunk my pants at will
>>714795632
only to unimaginable extremes
>>714795928
Youre sterile/barren. only sand and dirt for your genitals
>>714795318
However, you get to spunk your shirt whenever you want
>>714795704
u have to live in space
>>714795318
it seems that you are unable to spell
>>714795800
You also absorb any heath issues from that person along with their ability.
>>714795800
Absorption only takes place when you get ass raped by them
>>714795815
never can get an erection
Power: Invisibility.
>>714796080
The combo of drugs and not being a native English speaker can do that to a person. Also great use of punctuation in your retort.
>>714795815
but it gives you no joy
the ability to ban someone on 4chan
Crippling depression.
>>714796192
Your retinas are also invisible. You are blind.
>>714796192
once every 100 years on April 3rd for 2 seconds starting at 3:46am
>>714795863
you are the only sentient being in the universe, i.e. the only one that has a "mind"
>>714795800
works only on niggers
>>714796192
you're blind
>>714796192
Your body fluids stay visible
>>714796255
you will live to the age of 145
>>714796219
"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" -whole class
>>714796051
nigga, that just means that i can control all of the cosmos and get to see it as well
>>714796225
They change their IP continuously, making you wonder about your life choices and why did you end up being a mod of this shithole
>>714796192
While invisible, you exude the most horrible, powerful smell imaginable.
>>714796255
You are immortal.
>>714796421
That's a Win: Stealth cum in her mouth.
"Did you cum in my mouth?!"
"Do you see any cum?"
>>714796457
but you die of loneliness
Being able to make anyone I want love me
>>714796564
You will still spend your days enclosed in your basement lurking /b/
The ability to fly.
>>714796502
You got more body fluids than cum. Spinal fluid, blood, stomach acid...
>>714796564
Loving you gives people manic depression
>>714796225
You must personally deliver the ban to them via telegram for it to take effect.
>>714796665
Who cares about other body fluids?
>>714796564
everyone that loves your has 1 week to live
>>714796654
You have an extreme fear of heights
>>714796654
You can only fly straight up.
>>714796675
Manic depression ain't all that bad
>>714796654
Only at mach13 at sea level
>>714796654
You literally turn into a fly when you use your power.
Touching photos and seeing the moments the pictures were taken.
>>714796330
Thanks
>>714796846
You always seen a black man mooning afterwards.
Full control of time and my perception of time
>>714796654
you can only breathe underwater
>>714796846
you can do that by just looking at the pictures you know
>>714796735
People who see a floating blob of blood, cum and piss
>>714795167
You go back normal at a rate of 1 inch/hour
>>714796846
u can do that now
>>714796192
only while you're masturbating. if you cum or stop stroking your dong dong you're visible again
>>714796654
by flatulence only
>>714796654
Your government regulates air traffic so you don't get to use your power without being taken down.
the power to make any girl fall for me
>>714796981
It's still pretty useful
>>714796912
In increments of 1/100 of a second every minute
>>714796912
Only when you're 50 meters under water
>>714797081
Every time you do so, you gain an additional chromosome
>>714797081
Trans-girl
>>714797081
They will literally fall onto you with terminal velocity
>>714795176
You grow a mole every time you do teleport.
>>714796846
You have a violent orgasm everytime you use this ability
I have the power to converse with any living creature.
>>714797081
all girls that fall for you gain 500lbs
>>714794921
pyrokinesis
>>714797242
They just tell you to fuck off
>>714797242
anything you talk to calls you a faggot everyday
>>714797081
But makes a random guy wanting to fight you.
>>714797242
You live on Pluto.
regenerate every time you die and looking different every time
>>714797081
They'll try to kill and eat you because that way you'll always be a part of them.
>>714797081
You have severe erectile dysfunction that can't be treated with meds
>>714797242
You need ass to ass contact to do so
the ability to never feel tired and not need sleep in my life
The power to put the perfect ratio of peanut butter to jelly on my pb&j sammich
>>714797375
But always feel lonely and must fight daleks and shit.
>>714797375
You always reincarnate into aborted children
>>714795454
You're a lab rat that already knows whatever they're trying to discover in the experiment they're killing you for.
>>714797375
By 'different' meaning uglier
>>714797424
But you die after a week
>>714797424
But you are hungry and starving all the time.
The power to manipulate people's minds and wills
>>714797344
only works when you are drastically dehydrated
>>714797439
Deep inside you know the perfect amount of peanut butter is none.
>>714797344
1% chance to spontaniously combust when used
>>714797375
You will always look uglier than before
>>714797439
you can't eat white bread or you die
>>714795028
by becoming a jew with no money
>>714797439
Takes you 10 hours
My left hand is a gun
inb4 "you can only shoot yourself"
>>714797215
Still a win.
>>714795664
You don't know your real name.
>>714797439
Only with moldy bread
the power to spunk 10 ft
>>714796192
Only when other people can't see you.
>>714797529
everytime u do it you get another form of cancer
>>714797439
raging diabetes
>>714797661
It fires at random times
>>714797661
Your right hand is a 500kg anti-gun feminazi
>>714795704
You cannot properly control the sheer magnitude of your powers and have a 1 in 8 chance of crushing yourself and the earth every time you use them
>>714797661
You have to constantly clean it and it is chambered in a rare, expensive caliber.
>>714797580
You bastard, wheat bread pbj tastes like butthole
Can only change it from yourself as center of gravity. (Gravity is an attractive-only force)
>>714796654
You can only fly when inside a vehicle that can fly.
The power to let any hot, disease free guy, let me suck his dick instantly.
The power to see through glass
Time stop.
>>714797661
Changing mags are extremely painful
>>714797661
You can't get past airport security
>>714797761
Fuck
>>714797696
you brake your ankles
the ability to make america great again
>>714797439
Allergic to peanut butter.
>>714797696
Your spunk will boomerang back into your nostrils
>>714797661
you can never use an airport
>>714797529
Every time you do it you lose brain cells
>>714797834
He cannot cum when you're sucking his dick.
>>714796501
You aren't invincible however and the air on earth is now toxic to you
>>714795800
Only works for superpowers and you're the only human with one.
>>714797661
The gun has horrifically powerful recoil causing you to smash your own skull in should you fire
I can breathe underwater
>>714797915
The media calls you racist, lots of people hate your guts
>>714797832
Only works with guys with dicks below 2 inches
>>714797834
Only if he has over 100 years
>>714797862
You need to wear glasses.
The power to turn water into wine and sticks into snakes.
>>714796654
you cannot control the speed at which you fly and your perception doesn't improve meaning after 1 second of flying you are guarenteed to slam into a wall and become a pancake
The ability to knock people unconscious by looking at them
>>714797805
butthole is delicius tho
>>714797989
Only if there's a hungry shark in a 50 meter radius
>>714797834
They can't get hard
The ability to open a door, and it be a door to any other door in the world of my choice.
>>714797915
You are forced to hire a bunch of goldman sachs execs and backtrack on all of your campaign promises
>>714798085
You go blind
>>714798050
You can only do this at AA meetings involving only zookeepers
Time stop
>>714794921
only 1 way
>>714797834
You start to hate cocks
>>714798050
expired wine and the snakes get to rape you
>>714797081
Every time you use your powers you are required to rip out one of your teeth without any pain relief
>>714795863
you can only control people that have at least twice your IQ at that moment
(ie, you can control normal people when you're so high you can't find your tongue)
>>714797867
You can never start it again
The power to be genuinely be happy.
>>714797661
it's airsoft
>>714798185
time stops forever
Invulnerability
>>714794921
you dont get to pick when your traveling to
>>714798085
You live in a house of mirrors and the rest of your life is spent in an endless cycle of waking up, seeing yourself and being knocked out
>>714798373
kek
>>714798310
Everyone hates you and tries to kill you
>>714798337
You have crippling depression, can't be treated by anything
>>714798185
it also stops for you, but you are there and aware that it's stopped and must stay frozen in time for 23 hours.
>>714798310
But each time you are down and use your power to make you happy again, your muscle mass shrinks with 1% permanently.
>>714798165
behind every door is a locked door
I can hear in the dark.
Immunity to "reply or your mother dies in her sleep" posts
>>714798337
green glowing rocks suck all your power and kill you
>>714797661
It's made of bone, the bones are extremely brittle and stick out causing it to break upon contact with most things; also if you fire it it will shatter every bone in your body due to how powerful the recoil is even though the bullets can't hurt anyone.
>>714798486
I get gud at lock picking I guess.
>>714794921
You are whatever age you would be in that time when you arrive, and have no memory of traveling.
>>714795028
You're a jew
>>714795167
Cannot be unstretched ever.
>>714795454
Unable to speak, move, function, or communicate in any way
>>714796192
Only when no one is looking
>>714796564
Once used, you will never be able to love that person.
>>714796654
1 inch off the ground, no faster than 3mph
>>714796846
You believe that you are the main person in the picture until you use your power again
>>714797344
You can only ignite things you love
>>714797439
The bread is always stale
>>714795664
but you dont know your own name
>>714798489
u live on the sun
>>714798499
Your mom actually dies in her sleep
>>714798499
but your mother dies instantly
Ability to always have enough lumber
>>714798499
Because your mother dies as an effect of the ability
>>714795176
Causes you to age one year each time
>>714798499
Your dad dies instead
>>714798085
You vomit and wretch violently until the person wakes up again.
>>714798489
But every time you use your ability you get severe tinnitus at twice the db of what you hear, so you cannot distinguish details.
>>714794921
But you can travel only intervals of 100 years to the future, with no possibility to come back.
Mine would be flight without being detected.
>>714797696
it breaks your pelvis and destroys your testicles when you orgasm.
>>714798625
Never enough gold.
>>714798499
You die instead but survive as a ghost wherein you will spend a deathless eternity watching a loop of the day your mother finds out about your death
Now reply to this or your mother will die i her sleep
>>714797915
You get so tired of winning you don't want to win anymore.
Ability to set muslims on fire just by looking at them.
>>714798625
You won't need any
>>714796912
You cannot experience the passage of time normally and must manually move all time around you.
>>714798165
there is no handle on the doors and they cannot be forced open.
>>714798752
you are a nigger
>>714795318
Only when you see a pic of nicolas cage
>>714798752
You will also set anything on fire that is green
Midas Touch
ability to change my peepee size at will
>>714798752
Your eyes are the price for such a power
>>714797511
Can you please calm down the fucking existentialism?
>>714796564
you lose sense of your emotions when around these people
The power to become the most solid, dense material without losing mobility and also to become liquid.
>>714798891
it also works on yourself, so the second you touch your own body, you turn into a gold statue
>>714798853
Finds doors with windows, breaks in.
>>714797081
She has magnetic shoes and the floor is metal
>>714798310
Lasts 30 minutes, and each use causes your actual natural happiness to shrink until you rely on the use of the power to help you not kill yourself.
>>714798891
Can only turn stuff you are most afraid of
>>714798906
Your anal circumference also changes by the same amount
>>714798891
Masturbation is considered touching yourself.
>Does Midas touch even need another downside?
>>714796654
The ability to fly at 2mph
>>714795454
Granted by satan, he wants your soul for it
>>714795800
Only as long as they're listed in this thread, including all their limitations.
>>714798906
Your peenor bleeds profusely all day.
Being able to run super fast
>>714796675
Haha this already happens to me tho
The ability to sneeze $50 bills
>>714798752
you are now a muslim in a room made out of indestructible mirrors.
>>714798979
the inertia that comes with moving with such a dense body makes you unable to stop once you begin moving
>>714795664
After you control them, they know your every thought
>>714798979
You experience all the discomfort amd pain that a normal body subjected to this transformation would incur
>>714796846
you are sent to where the photo was taken as the person who took it
>>714799109
You become an autistic sonic fan with his own deviantart
You post poorly drawn vore pics on it
>>714798870
Actually would be ok with this if I could have my ability. Would make rap songs and burn muslims until I die.
>>714799109
Can only use your power on the surface of burning gasoline
i can always scratch that obnoxious itch
>>714799206
Oh shit.
>>714799109
You can only stop by sliding on your face
>>714798998
>cannot be forced open
i can shut down websites at will
>>714795928
Cant we all? Only when you see a live loli
>>714799109
Your perception can't keep up with the speed. You will run into walls before you see them
>>714799109
you have to cut off your legs to do it.
>>714799338
Only works on porn sites
>>714799216
Jesus fuck kek
>>714799201
in the meantime you shit of the same amount of money in coins
>>714799251
I like this one, not even gona set you any limitations. You may be the hero we bee
i can perfectly recreate a drawing of anything i can imagine/see/remember
>>714799201
they are out of date $50 bills and they slice your nose open every time you sneeze.
>>714799201
you can only spend the money on Justin Bieber concerts
>>714799267
Your skin becomes as fragile as tissue paper; leaving ragged open wounds whenever you do
>>714799397
did you just turn me into a supervillain?
>>714799201
They are faked by an asian midget that lives in your nose as a parasite.
>>714799267
every time you do it, you have a nosebleed until you pass out
>>714799267
loose your limbs
>>714799423
we need*
WTF, bee?
>>714799445
You can only do it using your penis as the paintbrush
>>714799423
Cheers anon, fingers crossed it will happen!
>>714796116
And it has to be violent to work
>>714796564
You never understand the concept of centrality and therefore have never loved yourself.
power: interdimensional awareness
i can see every outcome of every dimension
The ability to switch people's lives at will
Ex:
Switching the minds of Obama and Putin instantly
I can shoot lasers out of my eyes
>>714799445
The maximum size you can work with are 32x32 pixels or 1x1cm
Running at the speed of light
i always have -just enough- strength to do anything
>>714799623
But they're only Class I red lasers
>>714799267
you gain a permanent burning feeling in your throat that feels like you just drank a shit ton of whiskey, and you never get used to it.
>>714799619
Whenever you look at an outcome that is not in your favor, it gets applied to your dimension
>>714799669
you can't see where you're running due to the fact that photons cannot reach your eyes
also, the inertial force makes it so if you stop, you are vaporised
>>714799619
each time you use your power, your dick gets smaller
>>714799620
Your own mind will be switched with other random people for a week everytime you do it.
i am literally nightcrawler from xmen
>>714799692
However maintaining this requires you to spend 20 hours a day eating
>>714797242
You're actually schizophrenic
>>714799619
oyu can only remember a single outcome per day, chosen randomly
>>714799832
You get gangbanged by niggers teice a day
>>714799669
Only in space
i have jedi mind powers
>>714794921
The ability to out drink anyone at the bar and still walk straight.
>>714799832
It being literally means you only exist in fiction.
>>714796192
It only works when you're playing a tuba
i can recreate any voice perfectly
>>714799556
There is one painter that literally does this
>>714799914
They only work on Koala bears
>>714794921
this is gay
>>714799914
you have to maintain perma virgin status
>>714799914
Only when you're in the Indian Ocean
>>714799924
You can only drink water
>>714799924
All other effects of alcohol (bad judgement, bad driving skills, difficulty to talk, etc...) affect you twice as hard.
>>714799914
And severe cerebral palsy.
>>714794921
The power the make anyone you want salvia turn into the clear part of an uncooked egg.
>>714800073
nigga i can annihilate australia in like a week
>>714799924
You can only walk straight and you cannot change direction until you are sober
>>714799620
every time you do so you also switch lives with someone else at random, you can never go back to your original body, you cannot influence the decision of who's body you go into; also if you switch and your living conditions are shittier they will never improve no matter how much you switch.
>>714797081
But they turn into traps
i am immune to poison/toxins
>>714795028
Only works around niggers.
>>714800204
even better
To be able to go super saiyan
>>714799924
The bartender is always a fucking twat. A true dick-stroking, egg looking fuckface. He will also add some of his cum to every drink you order
>>714800086
"This" is now you
>>714795843
Underrated
>>714800264
whenever you go super saiyan, everybody else in the world does too
>>714800226
Only effective if you have AIDS
>>714799623
Every time you do this it causes your eyes to rip open from the centre, causing immense pain and permenant blindness.
>>714800041
But your a nigger
The ability to replace yourself with an illusion only to be invisibly controlling the simulacrum nearby
power: i am op, but never fag op
>>714797081
They promptly come out of the closet as a gay man a girls body and want a sex change exactly as how much they love you.
>>714800180
Go ahead /b/ro, I don't mind!
>>714800226
you're allergic to everything though
>>714800056
You'll be the second one then, slut
>>714800226
A side effect of your immunity is that your constantly burp and fart sarin gas.
>>714800264
You are inherently so weak, that reaching ss3 will only make you as strong as a 4 year old kid.
>>714800370
You have a cloud that rains shit all over you 24/7
>>714800370
you can only do it while pooping
ability to be an alpha male like alex jones
To put any nigger i see to work piccing my cotten
>>714800226
also immune to drugs/medicine
>>714799109
sonic the hedgehog music plays really loudly wherever you go
>>714799669
you must wear a blue hedgehog suit to do it, you must consume at least 30 chili dogs a day, you must never slow down, if you fail to fulfill any of these conditions you will slowly liquefy; starting from your dick.
I can make any two people that are within eyesight of one another spontaneously start violently fighting each other.
>>714800531
>alex jones
the only people who can stand to listen to you are batshit insane
>>714800377
You get no replies
>>714800264
aliens consistently threaten the Earth and you have to deal with them all the goddamn time
>>714797661
Cap gun
i literally cannot die
>>714798578
really good post
>>714800531
The reptoid infiltrated government devotes it's entire resources to killing you
Being able to see through any girl's clothes whenever I want. NO EXCEPTIONS!
>>714800531
But you have to suck jew cock on thursday
>>714800613
once the fight is over, the winner will turn on you and won't stop til he kills you.
>>714800551
Everyone on the planet turns white... except you turn into a nigger
THREAD CONT.
>>714799390
>>714800660
you can also see through their skin and flesh. so you never see boobs or butts, you just see organs and bones
>>714800660
your pants become invisible and you spunk
>>714800636
You wanna though
>>714800683
So i would just kill myself
>>714797867
Stopping time also alters your timeline
>>714799692
You are now so slow you are basically a statue.
>>714800660
An alarm will go off above your head, telling everyone you are using your power right now
>>714799623
while doing so you can't see anything, since it looks and feels like someone's shining laser pointers directly into both your pupils
To GET UNliMETED (You)
>>714800636
Time passes at a phenominal rate until your immortal consciousness exists in a timeless void billions of years after your death with only the scattered fragments of universe and the fading memories of every long dead person you ever knew to comfort you
Forever
>>714800636
you get buried alive
> Ability to get trips whenever I want
>>714800636
You're charged with 100 consecutive life sentences.
TO GET QWINTS EVERY POST
>>714800636
you can still die figuratively
>>714800928
only in cuck threads
>>714799924
everyone avoids you now because they think you're an alcoholic obsessed with pissing contests over who can drink the most.
