Whats the worst thing youve done while drunk b?
I need to hear some bad shit so i can get my mind off what i did
What you did. but much worse.
>>714039085
Is pic related your bad idea?
>>714039085
What'd you do tho???
>>714039085
greeen text your story then we will judge you
cheated, stolen shit, destroyed shit
got drunk and cheated on my girl with a fat girl at a comic con.
if still hungover op depression can be a symptom. wait it out you'll feel better later
>>714039085
ahhh lots of stuff...
drugged my girlfriend (slipped her 4 lorazepam in her beer) she passed out and stole 20 bucks from her to buy more beer.
i fingered 2 broads when they were passed out at my buddy's apartment.
ahhhh i dunno, lots a bad shit
Probably not thee worse, but one time this hot chick was hitting on me at a bar on the dance floor, and my drunk uncle gets my attention and tells drunk me to tell her i'll eat her pussy out, like, it will work. I do it and she takes it really the wrong way and vanishes into her flock of friends. Uncle thought that was worth me not getting layed.
Not that much. Made out with my gay best friend and never told my girlfriend.
cheated on my gf
what did you do op
posted on /b/ right now
hit a 9yo mexican kid when i was driving drunk, didnt stop. was lonnng ago
drove drunk and crashed my car
still not as bad as when I hooked up with an ugly bitch
glassed my ex's new bf
i fucked one of the girls in that pic lol
I came in some girl named Jamie twice at a party and I don't even know if she was 18
I drove her home to her dad's the next morning and she gave me her number with a little heart drawn over the i
Never called her
>>714039085
I fucked a fat bitch. Big mistake, she wouldn't go away after that. Kept stalking me and trying to.get together
>>714039723
Do tell...
man alot of fat chick fucking lol
Brought a tranny home from the bar without knowing it was a tranny. It sucked my dick and then started to take off its dress and i noticed its dick. Freaked out for a second. Told him to fuck me in the ass. After that I kicked it out of my house and went to bed.
Watched this go down when in college
>>714039085
>2012
>Employee for my dad's small tree company
>Best years of my life, didn't know it till they were gone
anyway
>Dad is notorious for underpaying employees and generally fucking them over
>Turns out his own son is not an exception
>Drinking with co-worker at his house
>Decide to go get our paychecks at dads house
>Drive drunk 10 miles
>Stepmom is only one there (don't get excited)
>Gives me a check for $200 dollars for a 60 hour week of hard fucking work
>lose my shit and call out the bullshit
>Say some deeply harmful personal things about our relationship and everything
>Break some shit I can't remember
>Headbutt a tree
>Headbutt the cold ground
>Run into the highway trying to kill myself because I'd realized how I've fucked everything up
>Half sister cries and asks "what's wrong with anon? :'( "
>Don't remember after that
>Dad says he's going to break the rest of my teeth out (I'd busted my face on concrete in the 3rd grade from a pogo stick accident)
>>714040125
lel nice one faggot
I don't remember.
gangbanged an ugly black girl
>>714040164
whats it like to be autistic
>>714040131
WTF?! Lunch lady?
>>714039994
NYE she came to my best mates small house party and started making out with him.
drank a whole bottle of jacks and a few beers
hooked up with couple chicks to try feel better and was fine.
they came right over to where I was sitting and started making out
I said shit
guy pushed me I wouldve hit my head had mate not caught me
guy grabbed me
grabbed him and lifted by his shoulders, pushed thumbs in til his arms went limp
he tried to punch when I dropped him
I was quicker
very quickly removed myself from the situation. made sure everyone was okay, apologised to homeowner and went home. talked to my ex's parents for a long time about it the next day cos she wouldnt talk to me
>>714039085
Flirt with a 16-year-old in front of her mother and talk about wanting to fuck her. It was in a third-world country where 16 is legal, and we were all drunk, except for the mother. I remember she just fucking glared at me the entire night.
>>714040164
I just had a guy next to the house we were working on ask if we could remove a tree for him. I got shit from my partner for telling him $200, for one tree. He went and priced it from a couple tree companies: $1000
Fuck $200 a week, that's not even half of one medium sized tree.
>>714040360
Nice
>>714040131
Damn that looks trashy as hell. Would not bang and I'd bang most.
>>714040359
Kek, we were a wild crowd. Just some old trashy broad. Felt bad I let him go through with it
>>714039085
Fucked a Filipino girl who was in a serious relationship.
She slit up her legs and killed herself a few months later.
I was 16.
Haven't been drunk since.
Either when in college hooking up with a 16 year old that I met at a party and licking her asshole or fingering a passed out chick.
>>714040583
We made him go get tested that monday
Took a $300 taxi home, so nothing too bad
cheated on gf, verbally abused gf, drove on countless occasions while on the job delivering pizzas, stolen all kinds of shit, got a prostitute, gotten in fights, the list goes on and on..
>>714040764
Did he catch anything?
>>714040245
have fun with aids
Well, I fucked a guy, threw up in a restaurant, walked home, destroyed a shit load of irreplaceable family heirlooms my great grandfather carved and drunk sexted another guy. Yeye good times amirite?
fingered a girl's ass while she was passed out. To this day I occasionally think "why the fuck did i do that, I could be in jail"
>>714040894
No, he was good. He must have had a rubber on
>>714040700
dafuq crazy bitch
Nothing that I remember. So I have plausible deniability
>>714039699
did he die?
>>714039085
off topic, but that thot in the middle of OP's pic has one of the best bodies I've ever seen!
Forced someone to listen to me singing Basket Case by Green Day for 2 hours without taking a break.
>>714039085
Crashed my car into a ditch, launched it off the one side of the ditch into a corn field, rolled 6x. I broke my neck in the same place that people who get hung break theirs. Obviously I'm still alive, this is because I am The Antichrist.
>>714039085
I was both high and drunk so just remember that, I got up from where I was sitting ran outside like the classic "weeaboo run" then yelled "Y'ALL NIGGAS NEED TO COME SEE THIS" (I am very white) where I started repeatedly punching a tree and singing the go go power rangers theme song then I layed in the ground with my knuckles bloody and said, "I saved the world once again" I then called my ex and left a voicemail on her mailbox that said "I SAVED THE WORLD FROM THE FUCKING ALIENS FOR US!!!" And then ran up the street to my friends house and without knocking ran in are all of their food and passed out on their couch.
>>714041098
no. turned out he and a friend had just broke into a house a few minutes before. karma is a bitch
>>714039085
moar of pic op
sauce?
I'm totally hetero, but I fucked a guy and he fucked me as well (with no condom...worst moment of my life)
>>714041230
nice I did something like that in high school
>>714041192
Great song, but 2 hours?
>>714041011
That's the thought that lets me sleep at night.
>>714040978
I'm sure she didn't mind
victimless crime unless you get caught doing it by some whiteknight
>>714041327
Really what did you do?
very very very extremely cringey texts and stuff to my ex's and other girls
>>714040164
>Same place in East Texas
>Get straight with Dad and stay employed for a while longer
>Girlfriend living with me in my 20' travel trailer
>She needs to gtfo of my life
>Refuses
>always spends her entire paycheck the day she gets it on bullshit and is a parasite in general
>One day, dad drops me off at my house and my truck is gone
>Needed to take care of some important business that night, instead left stranded
>Ex gf blowing her paycheck and God knows what else in Dallas with friends
>Angry
>Get drunk
>Bitch comes home at 3am
>Have all her shit in a pile outside my front door
>Whore goes aggro
>Argue
>Bitch wants to get rough with me
>I punch a hole in my wall
>She punches me
>Gets in my face screaming so loud she's spitting in my face "HIT ME!"
>Bust her forehead open with a headbutt
>She starts crying and calls police
>She deserved it since she put her hands on me like a man
>Cops come and see me drunk and she's bleeding
>Go to jail for the night
>Come back to my ransacked house
>Nothing left
>Probation for two years with AA meetings
>Move back in with parents
>>714039085
>be drunk at uni
>hanging out with quidditch team
>be alone with captain for a bit
>start talking about her life or whatever
>seems she's been struggling with shit
>enter drunken zen mode
>start spewing some shit I read in the Tao te Ching
>even drunk, can tell she thinks I'm a bigger autist than your average quidditch player
>try to save face
>had just read Allstar Superman
>go in to some prattle about how we should all try to live like Superman, be 100% honest, always put other people before ourselves, always take a minute to think before doing something so nobody gets screwed
>tfw everyone else was kekking like motherfuckers down the hall while I did this
>tfw I was referred to as "Clark" until I graduated
>>714040565
Tree work ain't for pussies. East Texas got tall pines and all kinds of dense shit. I ain't gonna try to convince anyone here fuck, but we were hardcore
>>714039085
sucked my long time friends dick, my 1st sexual experience and it was with a man.. shit happens. still friends with him and few months after that I started hooking up with his ex.
Threw away $300
>>714039085
I need lefts ass in my face.
>>714041318
I sometimes do gay shit when I'm drunk, desperate and horny. That shit is the worst, fuck unsupervised drunk me.
I was shitfaced, puking my guts out in the bathtub at my mom's house, I told my sister right in front of my mother, ''you know, you are pretty fine, if you weren't my sister I'd totally hit that'' didn't exactly go over well
>>714041655
Had to go for someone that still had the flavor of his penis huh?
>>714041192
Hopefully they were drunk too...
>Drank way WAY too much
>woke up next day
>and
>remembered i illegally downloaded a song off interwebs
>>714041766
ehh ya. shits weird, there was way too much of this going on between everyone in our friend group late high school and the cpl years after.
>>714041650
I wouldn't fuck with a good sized tree, I know. This one was a Mulberry about 15 feet high. I could have chopped it up from the top down as spread out as it was. The kicker is the guy had his own chainsaw. He was gonna cut it down, we just had to cut it up and haul it off.
>>714039085
At a party i fucked this blitzed girl dry anal. Made her ass bleed, came inside and never called her after
>>714041874
from napster???
Not very much tbh, some friends came to my house, got drunk and passed out, there are pics of me naked on my bed with a tennis racquet, that's shit tho. Also cringy texts and that shit.
>>714041098
no, it was just extremely painful
>>714041505
>Equality
>>714039085
>Whats the worst thing youve done while drunk b?
Gave a 15 year old a kiss on the cooch.
>>714041754
Fucked my brother in the ass when I was shitfaced. Not even joking. Alcoholism is retarded
>>714041989
>No youtube!
>wats naspter?
>>714041471
I chugged some vodka then punched a metal garbage can (hand was fucked) and yelled at a random on the sidewalk "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS NIGGER", also started fucking with people's cars trying to open doors and shit
>>714040947
Fuck you
>>714042061
>fucked brother
GG you fucking idiot
>>714040947
I think you might just be gay
had consensual sex with a member of the opposite sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation
don't judge me, i was really, really fucking drunk
>>714039085
>got wasted on a 12 pack of beer by myself
>fucked a fat chick that wanted me
>I'm thin and good looking
>she was fat as fuck, morbidly obese
>I never told anyone
>ashamed to this day
Let a gay dude suck my dick.
I didn't finish but I wish I did
>>714042275
That meme is gayer than the guy getting drunk and fucking guys.
>>714042275
did you make a baby or did you fail at that like youve failed everything else in your life?
>>714039085
Tons of shite
-wake up and hold t shirt that i had on me, to make a cup to vomit in, carry the shit out while t shirt still on me
-comit out of the car window while driving, vomit was inside and outside the door..yuck
-once i parked my car in the garage, breaking the side mirror
-once i drove close to cars in the street to close their side mirrors with my still remaining mirror
-went to a strip club with 5friends and have a gangbang with one of the dancers for 10e each (not so bad really)
-after a gig, i was complaining to the singer of my favourite band, how one of their members suck and i can totally replace him
Tons of shite bro, take it easy
>>714041648
kek, good one Clark
Flattened a whole parking lot of police cars , stabbed every tire at a party I beat the host up at. Did an entire parking lot at a dealership. Every week for a whole summer I would get drunk and cut the same guys cable line. The stuff with guns gets really bad front page stuff. Now I work for the atf building guns
>>714042275
Did it work?
>>714042000
Nice trips
>>714042378
>>714042417
It did not.
>>714042514
Luckyyyyy
>>714042412
that's fucking twisted, you fucked over so many people
>>714041655
oh also, I wrecked a car in the snow driving incredibly fast and narrowly avoided killing my friend and two strangers. All underage, not sure if the girls in the back were even 18. But that one somehow ended up ok and everyone involved kinda laughs about it now.
>>714042412
Also raped this girl
>>714040700
Dude, don't worry about it alright, I know saying that not knowing me or my life or my experiences but man, seriously, don't worry about it. Crazy people are abundant in the world, but a vast majority of them are cray bitches, if she didn't kill herself because of that it would have been something else I guarantee it. Weak people do weak shit eventually or they grow the fuck up. Go out and get a few beers start soft make sure you don't get drunk and have a panic attack take it slow at the start, no reason you should fuck up drinking for yourself over some bitch.
>>714042000
for you?
Asked sis if she wanted to "have some fun" she gets mad and I laugh. Next morning mom sits me down to ask me about it, could tell it freaked her out. Told her I was just joking and laugh. People will make themselves believe in the possibility that scares them the least. Not worried at all. Honestly wouldn't care anyway if they knew I meant it I've never given a shit. She probably would do it if I was more subtle about it she's freaky and I can tell she's sexually into me. Used to do stuff together minor as kids
>>714041942
Yeah brother, I know exactly what you're saying. Cleaning that shit up is always the hardest part. Then you have dumbasses who don't know fuck about a chainsaw wanting you to saw through dirt to get a stump out, their own 20 year old Walmart Poulan saw dull as fuck from the same problem. 15 foot ain't shit.
We hauled out this fuckirng HUGE red oak uphill for the crotchetyest old man in the world once. Measured it out 6 foot diameter, and the motherfucker had a huge beehive in it. Got stung so much it made me get high lol. Our little skid steer managed to get it on the trailer in two foot slices, fucked our shit up, truck barely pulled it out. Luckily our dump was close. Good times man wish I would've took pictures.
>>714039575
>>714040739
>>714040978
>>714041466
That's still considered rape though, you shouldn't be drinking if you do that sorta shit
>>714039694
yeah same
>>714042000
You're a big guy
>>714039085
>be 23
>go out with aunt to Olive Garden
>aunt was 37 divorcée one kid my cousin
>that weekend my cusing was with his father beacuse custody
>she invite me to go out because I'm the loser in the family that never goes out
>we talk for hours about school future plans her life and work
>she had way to much wine
>ask me to drive her home
>arrived to her placer
>she wants to continue drinking and talking
>I start drinking too
>after an hour I can hold my senses
>I tried to kiss her
>she flat out rejects me
>I try again... getting horny
>she slaps me
>she enjoys that
>we laughed the she kiss me
>we are making out
>after taking her dress off
> she start a giving angry falatio
>her woman need having been fullfilled in a while
>we are fucking doggie style on her living room
>the wine and the smell of her asshole are making me nauseous
> very exited and the constan trusting of my hips against her are making dizzy
>I feel like puking
>feel like also cumming
>puke on my aunt asshole and vomits gets all over the carpet
>vagina liquid, jizz, and carpet all over floor
>feel like crying
>ant is very angry Beacuse she didn't it get to orgasm and now she and her floor are cover on bodily fluids
>>714039085
I got kicked out of a house party with my friend when I we got too drunk and they refused to let us back in so we took our anger out on some random guy walking from his car to his house.
Totally beat the shit out of him for a good minute and a half for no reason other then he looked at us and we were mad. Never got caught but I stopped drinking heavily after that but still can't seem to stop drinking altogether.
>>714043035
>>714042412
One time I got some GHB got this girl and guy at a friends house to drink it in some vodka and orange juice. When they both passed out i fucked the shit literally out of the girl ripped her ass bloody, then undressed the guy and through them both in the same bed.
>>714043035
What happened after this?
>>714042944
No guy would mind if a chick jacked them a little while they were passed out, stories like >>714041505 kinda make me stop giving a shit about how women feel. About three weeks ago I went into to work, just after Donald Trump won the election and all the girls were crying about how it was the end of the world, all the guys speaking to them were agreeing and shit even though I knew for a fact most of them hated Hilary or supported Trump. I just made an excuse to leave the conversion whenever it came up, why the fuck do I care about American politics, I live in fucking New Zealand. I'm not going to be one of those guys who just unconditionally agrees with everything an attractive girl says either, so fuck lying about your opinions to keep friends or get laid. I seriously have no respect for any of my colleagues.
I don't even know what I'm replying to anymore, but it sure got me fired up on fucking women.
>>714043506
Jesus christ, what happened next?
>>714042412
I was once over at my friends house when he wasnt there and did not know I had showed up. I went on his email and saw that his new boss hads sent him a christmas card of his wife and young kids. I emailed him back pretending to be my friend and asked If he could send me some pictures of his kids naked. My friend lost his dream job lol
>>714043234
That's not cool... I-I could've been that random guy
>>714043035
That was hot as fuck until you fucked it up anon
>>714043506
You fucking madman, congrats though!
>>714043506
She told her exboyfriend and he beat the guy upin a parking lot. I later used it all as a way to hook up with girl who developed a horrible drinking problem and I used to rape her when she was drunk with icicles I grabbed outside the window.
>>714039575
https://youtu.be/ZEvQOPUHGH8
Are you this guy?
>>714044024
If this is true you are truly the king of /b/ I pledge my allegiance to you
>>714042412
I consider myself ahead of the curve and most people are just victims....I stopped drinking. I love the monster I have become
>>714043035
>>714039085
Dragged home a landwhale to a friends place I was staying at.
>>714039085
>be 22 at a college frat party
>was watching over my bro who trying to hit on girls
>goodtimes.jpeg
>4am rolls in and we're both pretty fucking wasted
>Uber back to my place
>as we arrive home I've sobered up a bit
>dragged my buddy inside
>while in the process of preparing the couch for him to crash on. Accidentally fell and my dick slipped in his ass
>ohshitfuck
>tried to get up but just fell back down nailing him deeper
>blacked out
>next day rolls in we act like nothing happened
>weird part is that he still hasn't said no homo
>>714043801
Maybe. As fucked up as it was it made me a way better person and slow down with my drinking problem.
Whenever I drink now and start thinking that what happened that night "really wasn't that bad after all" I call it a night and go to bed.
I fucked my friends girlfriend and fucked around with one girl who was married and one girl who had a boyfriend. I was sober during all of this. That makes it even worse. Im a piece of shit and ive accepted that.
>>714039699
In NC? We're looking for you
>>714044632
nah
I don't remember this but my friends and the girl I did it to all told me the same story the next day but this is by dfar the worst thting ive done i think
Took off my pants (had boxers on) and chaced the hostess of the house around telling her to die and to go fuck herself called her a whore and stuff. Didn;t even know her so no idea why drunk me would do this. apologized the next day but Definitely affected her too much for us to talk normally after that
>>714039085
Those asses. Fuck.
Lost my virginity when I was 14 to a 29 year old Dutch girl.
>>714044632
Lol shut the fuck up faggot.
>>714044951
not bad
>>714042183
id probably kill myself how do you live with that
>>714039085
drove
>Be me few years ago
>with family at an NFL game
>Shit is WAY overpriced there
>Im talking $7.50 for one beer
> $18 for a mixed drink
>find an in stadium bar
>Start buying shit for random ppl
>shit faced so dont know any better
>Game is over
>get tab
>its $600
Now days I leave my card at home when I go and only bring about $40 in cash with me
>>714043622
You replied to me and I'm not sure why I'm here either. Just drunk, sleep deprived, and talkative.
The weirdest part is that people in New Zealand care about American politics. No one I know gives a fuck, and I live in North Mexico (Texas). Fuck bitch made men. There's way more to life than what they have between their legs.
>>714039085
fucked a dude
>16 just went through a messy break up
>depressed all week
>"hey anon come out with us on friday"
>"drinking away your troubles will cure your woes anon"
>themed party so i dress up like a cowboy
>friends had made an "american plague" mix of straight vodka and straight tequelia for the LOL's
>depressed me gives no fucks of the potential hangover and wants the blissfull oblivion only alcohol can bring
>to drunk to understand a thing like limits and so i drink ALOT
>cops appear
>Flee to the hills (screaming they'll never take me alive)
>black out
>wake up in a caravan (the fuck)
>feel sick and confused, must solve problems
>Vomit everywhere..Need to pee...Pee everywhere (problems solved)
>Can't open the door
>KICK THE DOOR OUT
>lock the door behind me because it could get trashed by ethnics
>try and find my bearings
>an airbase, lake and 3 barbed wire fences are between me and the starting point
>decide to just walk home
Cont?
>>714039085
>Work for small Haz-waste
>do all the crazy shit military does not want to do, WMDs, Nuke Material, IEDs, Acid Clouds ect
>Loved the money, the rush, and showing the US military who really had the biggest balls
>Get hammered with the bosses son one night
>Really good guy, hard worker, good in a fight
>He gets a call from the boss, puts it on speaker but doesnt tell him
>Boss says he is gonna lay me off and hire his best friend from college's daughter cause Boss thinks he can get her to suck his dick
>I blurt out "Yeah good luck getting her to take apart Oxygen Candles!"
If you fuck up treating Oxygen Candles, you will either blow up or create enough Chlorine Dioxide gas to waste a few dozen people
>He gets mad, backtracks saying it was a joke, then hangs up
>Next week I get laid off
>She is brought in the next week
>I get hammered, and build a KMNO bomb
>Detonate it under the bosses lifted F350
>Whole thing goes up in flames in a minute
>Boss knows it was me, but if he does to the cops then he would have to admit that he gave me bomb making material so that he wouldnt have to pay to dispose of it.
>three months later he loses all his contracts because his son get hurt, and this girl literally does nothing on the job.
>>714045445
Do it
>>714045445
Nope, just shut the fuck up retard.
>>714039575
you sound pretty despicable even for 4chan
>>714041505
Are you the same kid that got suspended for abusing his girlfriend in a parking lot?
>>714039085
Ive done some shit
Cheated on my girl with 2 chicks, a whore, and fucked a dude. I drink alot. Puked up alot of blood tonight. I need to rethink my life
>>714045445
Go on.
>>714045548
Nice
While drunk? Hmm... Was never a drinker, but I was a junkie for a good minute.
>be me, 20
>in college
>have a night class on Wednesdays, psych
>sit next to this annoying ass chick who thinks she knows everything
>she starts randomly talking to me
>ughhhh.jpg
>fuck it, I'm always fucked on xannies anyway
>one day out of nowhere she goes:
>"hey anon, you live on campus right? know anywhere to get coke, I'll buy!?"
>fuckyeahyoudumbcunt.png
>we end up doing coke together for a solid 3 months
>one night, my plug couldn't find powder
>but, he has a friend who will fuck both me and my friend for some rock (that's crack, idiots)
>friend instantly says yes to us both getting railed out by some nigger
>crack dealer shows up, with (I shit you not) 1/3 ziplock baggie full of rock
>thatsfuckingexpensive.png
>I somehow acquire that bag for myself, and sit inside the walk-in closet of the bedroom, doors shut, headphones on, while my girl gets fucked by the black guy
>ismokerocknigga.exe!!!
>mfw I smoked the crack while friend is getting pounded by some nigger as payment before she even gets a hit
>mfw I literally somehow pimped this girl out, kinda
>tfw she didn't even give a fuck at the end of it all, since I had saved her a little bit
>>714045109
Drinking.
>>714046153
Nah
>>714039085
I turned down a threesome.
>>714040565
>2012
god damn. I feel like I make shit and I'd net about a grand from an 80 hr week.
>>714045445
>prep myself up "you got this anon, do your cowboy hat proud"
>start walking along the highway
>semi trailer pulls up, huge mother fucker gets out, a veritable giant from mythology
> starts shouting at me, can't really understand what he is saying, but he is angry
> i shall use diplomacy to calm the situation
>peace talks have failed, he punches me in the gut
>proceed to vomit all over this behemoth of rage, like some alcoholic riot hose i Enforce peace
>Guy freaks out, gets in his cab and drives off
>stumble on
>an hour of drunken stumbling and i am in some residential area, about to get beaten up
>"I just want to know how to get home" try and diffuse the situation with drunken humour
"Cunt, This fucking poncho means that i can either shoot your shit in when i sober up, or sneak past your nations borders and mow your fucking lawn"
>grabs my arms and holds them behind my back so his freind can gut punch me
>proceed to recreate the Exorcism of a cowboy
>turned my head around to pacify resistance from his freind
>stumble away
>See a garden gnome
>I am now the loudly proud owner of a garden gnome
>see a street i remember Fuck yeah almost home
>Car pulls up from some place
>throws a bottle at me
>stick my head in the window and vomit everywhere
>guy gets out so i take a swing, miss
>he swings and puts me on the ground
>kicks me
>grab his leg and trip him up, jump on his back and start screaming.
>TO MUCH MOTION
>gravity reasserts itself and i fall to the middle of the road as they flee.
>my fucking gnome is still safe
>crawl the rest of the way home
>Pass out in my bed
few days later
>mother unit "i don't want you going out at night anon, there was an article in the paper about some gang of kids that vandalised the sport centre and an airfield, Sicko's got drunk and vomited all over the town and started fights"
>proceeds to show me a grainy ass picture of a cowboy vomiting on an airfield taken from a security camera
I no longer drink.....
>>714046273
so were you dating her? Or was she just your coke buddy/free ticket for more coke?
>>714042837
I never knew /b/ would bring tears to my eyes. Thank you. I figure, I've thought of it that way but I've needed someone else to say it, to prove I'm not just weak.
Naked "cartwheels" in my neighbor's front lawn at night.
>>714039085
My sister was drinking with me. She passed out. The way she passed out on the couch, I was able to see her panties and up her no-bra shirt. I started fondling her, almost no response. Long story short, she don't remember the end of the night where it was her and I alone in my house and "someone" got her pregnant. Nothing haunts me like that... especially since I also use that memory as fap material, feeling shame after I'm done.
>>714047827
No we weren't dating (I'm straight and had a fwb at the time, and she had a fiancé at the time... they're now married with a baby lul). She was my free drug buddy ticket, but don't get me wrong we definitely were naked with each other on many occasions baha
>>714044349
We've all done that. It's called "hogging."
>>714040237
>>714039085
Got HIV
>>714039259
they're his sisters for christ's sake!
>>714046010
nope
>>714044473
You don't deserve to be a better person.
>>714047184
to play mahvel?
>>714043035
>The wine and the smell of her asshole are making me nauseous
This made me nauseous
>>714039085
Fingered mom
>>714047967
not that anon, but there's nothing wrong with not drinking either
if you don't feel comfortable doing it, don't
>>714043035
>>714039085
Took a long satisfying piss in the middle of a busy shopping street while a mate held me up straight
>>714041318
>Totally hetero
The only person you can convince is yourself. But don't feel bad for being spaghetti sexual.
>straight until wet
>>714039085
Sent nudes
>>714047985
Kid: "Hi Uncle Daddy."
Uncle Daddy: Hi Rape Baby.
>>714049120
>spaghetti sexual.
I'M USING THAT TERM! I know people like that.
>>714047985
She remembers, bro.
>>714049333
I sometimes worry she does, but she doesn't treat me any different... not pressing charges... not nailing me with child support. She just quit getting hammered. If she remembers, wouldn't she at least hate me or something?
>Date girl for a month
>Didn't know i had HPV
>Give her HPV
This one really fucking bothers me. I think about it everyday. Good thing is, Whatever strain it is, there are no symptoms and the immune system will likely take care of it.
>>714039085
Saw this on anonib the other day.
>>kek
>>714047985
How many people were around prior?
She probably thinks you're a great brother and that you'd never do anything like that, doubt the thought even entered he head.
>>714049866
It was a house party I threw when I moved in, my first time living in a house without a roommate. Neither of us knew half the people, friends of friends of friends.
I dunno, just fight people and fuck fat chicks.
>>714049667
>This one really fucking bothers me.
>>714050322
I think I drank with you. Are your initials CT?
First time I ever got drunk:
>be at ex's house with some of my friends
>ex's cousin gets us a big bottle of whiskey for like $20
>Fuck yeah, we all start taking shots
>friend1 starts passing out everywhere. You'll see this dude walking into a room then just dropping to the ground mid-step
>he starts throwing up everywhere
>friend2 the chad decides to help him out
>I proceed to sit by my ex and try to convince her for an hour to Fuck me while her 6 year old brother and dad are in the same room and can clearly hear us
Second time I got drunk
>be 15
>be at friends house
>she gets a big bottle of tequila
>everyone dropped out of the drinking after a couple shots and there was still like half the bottle left
>I proceed to chug tequila straight out of the bottle
>she lectures me on limits while I continually walk back and forth in a straight line yelling about how straight my line was
>start making out with friend/house owner
>get tired. Go inside and get ready to pass out on the couch but girl I previously hooked up with is already there
>fuuuuck you
>jump on top of her to lay down
>she's cool with it, but I black out
The rest of the story was told to me and I have no recollection of it
>proceed to throw up all over the girl I was laying on
>friends try to take me to the bathroom to throw up
>friends little sister comes to check up on me
>I'm pissing all over the bathroom
>come to and I'm inside another hot girls car throwing up out the window
>show up at my house. Dad is still awake but he's a bit dense and doesn't notice or care.
>>714050558
No mate haha.
>>714039408
Ahaha you sad piece of shit
>>714046010
The underage is real
>>714041466
Victimless? You're a fucking retard.
>>714050334
Not funny, mate
I got drunk one year and stole 14 Christmas trees from a family owned store, put them in my truck 2 or 3 at a time took them all to my house and had one hell of a bonfire
Fucked my friend's girlfriend in the bathroom at a house party when we were 18.
She broke up with him a week later saying that she wanted to be with me (didn't name me, just told him one of his friends).
He thinks to this day it was the guy whose birthday it was that she liked.
>>714042345
lmao I've fucked plenty of fatsoes.
nothing to be ashamed for. I fuck really, really hot womena dn random uglier ones.
if people laugh, they are just jealous they were stroking their weasel, while you were fucking an actual human being
got lost in a bush for 2 hours in a friends backyard
woke up with the cops over me in my bed, did a lot of bad shit apparently, there were pictures
said a lot of weird sentimental shit to my uncle at a family dinner
said i was going to fuck this really hot girl i was working on for like years, in the ass, when she was right behind me
got sucker punched trying to take 2 girls back to my hotel, ripped the sink out of the wall, sent an insanely embarrassing email to my dad saying I was going to have the guy who punched me killed
grinded with a friends gf multiple times, mutually hit on her a ton over a 2 year period
made out with a friends gf and they later got married, its still awkward, saw them today
shit my bed
made out with this insanely nasty thai woman and then this disgusting brazilian in the same night i still remember the taste
got blackout and said some very embarassing stuff to my cousin on a trip, she had to take me back to her hotel room cus I didn't know where I was staying and was completly fucked
ruined tons of chances with women
puked everywhere a bunch of times
I think the worst is the guilt of hitting on/making out with friends GFs, it's a super scummy thing to do and I still feel bad about every time I did it
>>714041766
zing!
>>714043035
kek
>>714039575
There was a time on cuckchan when you would have been applauded. Sadly, SJWs bought the board from the luggage lad.
>>714039575
Ok m8 lozos are fucking week as fuck there are for anxiety i take em btw and they ant fast actin like ativan Xanax vallies
>been drunk every day of my life since i was 19
>learned it from my parents
>pretty much every thing i've done since
Once I had been out all night, and I was feeling a little sick so I headed to the toilets at the bar. First stall was locked, second one opened. Know how it is when you have been trying to be all calm but have to puke and you get within sight of the toilet? Yeah, so I sprayed all over. Its not that I realized that there was a dude in there taking a shit. In my head, I realized that if I had been taking a shit and some asshole vomited on me, I would kick his was. So I decked the dude before he had a chance and ran the fuck out of that bar
>>714039694
Yeah should be ashamed u sick degenerate
>>714039085
I peed on a dude's desk
>>714039085
I've shoved a sharpie up my ass and masturbated to 700+lb women before.
>>714039849
Where abouts? Sounds like a Jamie I might know
>>714039085
I peed off my friends deck and then touched his penis when he fell asleep.
[Spolier, I was seventeen and he was twenty-four]
>>714041186
U need glasses
>>714042061
LOL how old were each of you? Was he drunk too?
>>714043793
LOL. I want to believe.
>>714040360
Cool story b
"I was quicker"
Pfft...
What a faggot
>>714041505
I bet your a low life cunt
Pissed on my wall and fell into it.
>while drunk
Fucked my best friend's girlfriend three times and got her pregnant. He thinks it's his.
I am six states away now. She still messages me.
>>714039085
Said the wrong name in bed
>mfw it was a characters name
>mfw i'm a faggot
pic related is mfw I look back at how much of an autistic faggot I was back then
>inb4 and you aren't one now?
called out Sunset Shimmers name
(i'll take my ban now mods ;.; )
I killed my wife
>>714044024
>>714044526
it's all good.
i fingered some chick and made out with her while my girlfriend was asleep in the other room. i was kinda drunk. eh. we're all pieces of shit here.
this is /b/
>>714039085
>Whats the worst thing youve done while drunk b?
i fuckid a gurl.. never fuck while drunk.. it sucks
>>714039085
Your mom
>>714058099
>>714039085
** YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY LE PELICAN! *** post this in 3 threads or you will be killed
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I moved to a new country , and stayed with my aunt and cousin.
Couse was cute so I was in love with her , she took me to a party with her boyfriend and some friends.
I got drunk (Im not a good drinker) , me and her friends where dancing , I start getting angry cuz cousin is sick (menstrual cycle)
so I start pushing her friends , and almost got in a fight, I declared my love to my cousin there in front of her boyfriend while I was drunk , after that I punched a window and cut my hand , they took me to an hospital, and totally regret the day after.
I havent talk with my cousin again..
>>714059788
You could also kill yourself instead
>>714039085
Looooads of cringeworthy shit like drunk texts/calls, broke my fap-hand last night while drunk-fighting a mate, second time that's happened, but the worst thing was fucking my best mate, she's the hottest girl I know, fucking miles out of my league, and we'd fucked before with no issues, but this time she had a boyfriend and it made things weird for her, one fuck isn't worth losing your best friend. Not the funniest, most dangerous, painful, or most cringeworthy, but definitely the worst
>>714054748
Think you've taken too many of them, your post reads like the crayon scribblings of a retard
>>714054748
this was in 2006, xanax wasn't too hip
>>714046010
Seriously? How long have you been here? People have been murdered by /b/tards just for lulz before
>>714046010
buddy that's nothing, when i got off booze and went into drugs full time, that's when the REAL shit started. knocking up 16 year old broads, forced this one girl to have 2 abortions, this other one (who was 18) actually had the kid, but she put it up for adoption. I was kinda seeing 4 girls while working at ticketmaster, all co-workers
>>714039085
list is long, but main ones are:
cheated on my girlfriend with another girl on her 18th whilst at a party we were both at
got a girl super drunk then finger fucked her while she was mostly passed out, but not quite
let my younger sister drink then made her hotter and hotter until she finally let me finger her, after that night she also ate me out and we fingered eachother about 20 times before she told our mother and I got disowned
uhh, lots of other stuff, mostly to do with sex I guess
Got drunk fucked my cousin........im ok with it but i told my mom what happen........she was not ok with it now im even more of a outcast in my family.
I've thrown up on a mate's porch, and tried to cover it up and brush it off with dirt. But then I threw up again and got mud and shit on my shirt.
>>714042061
That's horrifying.
Nothing too bad compared to others, got threatened to be stabbed by some randomer then cried in front of all my friends (very embarrassing)
Got crazy high and drunk
Pulled down one girls top cuz I wanted to see her tits
Ordered black bitch with big tits to fondle my balls
she does
Ugly nasty bitch grinds her fat ass on my dick while i'm fucked out of my mind and I grind back.
Start coming down off my high
Realize WTF I'm doing
Throw her the fuck away from me
Walk home and lock myself in the bathroom just before I pass out.
>>714061620
moar
>>714062300
you can get dubs but you can't greentext, faggot
>>714043793
Oh my god, if this is true it's brirriant
>>714054748
Mate vallies do not hit as hard as lorazepam, quit talking shite.
>>714039085
never got drunk, that pretty bad isn´t it.?
>>714062539
Your disdain makes me hard anon
>>714061906
Laughed so hard at this response
Knock up my mother-in-law.
>>714062577
Found a glaswegian?
>>714039226
>>714063037
Edinburgh
>>714039608
Jesus, you're a sad fuck.
>>714046010
winterfags are just in time
>>714039085
God I wish I knew the girl on the lefts name
- drank and ate too much spicy horrible stuffs at a party. ended up vomiting blood and beating up a guy asking me what was going on and trying to help
- while partying at my best friend house, I started to hit up on his 14yo niece and told her that I found her very hot. we ended up isolating ourselves in a room and there i kissed her on the neck, pulled my dick out and tried to make her suck it, but she was too shy and just jacked me off. I was 23yo. People noticed us and she ended up admitting everything to my ex-best friend who cut all contacts after this.
- sleeping on a field 2km from home, waking up alone, hungry, cold, having lost my home key and glasses (switch to contact lenses after this :))
>>714039085
Fell asleep on my friend's couch after a particularly rough night.
It was embarrassing as fuck.
>>714063737
You sound like that fat, overly agressive, sltighty emo friend we've all had..
>>714041973
I've also done this... But she wanted to fuck while she was conscious, so that makes it okay, right /b/?
>>714063850
I'm into bodybuilding since I'm 16yo and dislike emo. But I'm overly aggressive, yes.
fell asleep on a bed with friends wife after drinking heavily. pissed on her tits, while i was passed out.
not a high point...
>>714064232
Hahahaha that's embarassing
yer nah old mate nathan always gets on the bongs after a few and all goes tits up from there this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGpq7qMAcR8
*sigh* I shouldn't tell you this
but my mate told me to lay on the floor
and I did it.
>>714039085
I downloaded Limewire on a buddy's laptop just so it got overran with viruses. Then I pissed on his toilet seat and ate all his Doritos
Blacked out, came back to life walking down the highway shoeless, phoneless, covered in blood. Walked 8 miles overnight back home.
That and pretty much destroyed every happy relationship I've been in.
>>714039085
lots of stuff, keep in mind this was between the age of 15-18
>insulted my parents
>cheated on bf (was also on drugs)
>made out with at least 10 girls
>dry-humpen a sluty girl as we were the only ones on the dancefloor and the whole club watched
>passed out several times and got fingered and fucked
>danced like a retard, spazzed out, beat up my bf
>broke all the glasses on the table
>many times I would puke on myself
>ended in ER for deflation
and so on...
browsed 9GAG
Nothing to out of the normal, fat women that kind of thing.
worst is I pulled up my friends couch cushion and threw up under it, she never did find out who it was and took a couple days before it was discovered.
>>714063086
Should've guessed, what you said was actually legible, rather than the usual "Am aff tae fukin wreck at wee shite oot ere, eh" From the weegies
Story of how i got really drunk for the first time of my live
>germanfag
>went to belguim with our school class for 1 week
>2nd day, we meet at the girls house
>every one starts to take shots
>my parents are from russia so everyone expects me to drink like a real russian mother fucker
>lets do this.exe
>chug down that vodka bottle
>everyone loose their shit
>i start to get super drunk, screaming around
>i went out of the house we rent and ripped apart my shirt
>screamed i will walk to my home town , i dont give a fuck
it was about 300 kilometers from belgium to germany
>one girl tries to calm me down
>ragemode.exe
>i try to hit her but i was way too drunk (for me the punch felt like im mike tyson)
>some friends bring me inside my room and throw me on the bed
>memorys start to fade away
end of story is i woke up covered in vomit, i somehow managed to turn the matress upside down when i was drunk so i would lie in my own puke
next day i hear storys about how i almost tried to killed that girl which was trying to calm me down
>feelsgoodman
>>714041505
Shit choices equals shit life
>>714064415
You absolute madman hahahahahahaha!
Some fun stuff first.
Was 14 at the time, one of my first parties, but def not first time drunk.
fall into a bush, unable to free myself i cry out for attention, some of the partygoers notice me when out smoking and procede to laugh at me, one of them tried to help me tho, a girl from school i dont know. She also falls into the bush, we make out and stuff for a while, she asks if i want to fuck, i respond with taking my dick out. For what seems like an eternity i try to get it in, the bush makes everything dificult and she just Jacks me off instead, she gets cum all over her clothes. Ofc others saw this shit and started calling her the shrubberywhore or some shit, Messed her up for a few years, cut herself etc, i on the other hand got to be known as "king bush" for a few months.
The bad shit
Got hammered with a friend, he suggested we steal something for lulz and i say something like "yeah great Idea m8, why not brake into some houses too". He immediately responds with a loud yes and runs to his garage, gets the biggest wrench i have ever seen and runs off, i try to follow him bit i cant catch up so i go back to his place and crash. Some time later the cops wake me up, they arrested my friend for smashing windows on 8 cars and 5 houses trying to get in, the only thing he managed to steal was a fucking clockradio from some elderly couple. I had to go to court and shit. Nowadays i try to avoid sarcasm when speaking to drunks
>>714063826
I wish to fuck I'd lived a life where this would crop up on my spectrum for embarrassing situations...
Havent done really bad stuff, cant decide:
>allegedly pulled down a girls dress, exposing her tits (cant remember, guess i would if i had actually seen some tits)
>slapped a friend multiple times because he wouldnt shut up
>when helping the host move a table i yelled out to a girl i flirted with earlier "im doing this just for you"
Yeah, makes no sense at all
Plastered I went to a friends house and tried to fuck her. She wouldn't let me because she had a boyfriend but let me crash in her bed. Woke up in the middle of the night, fingered her, licked her asshole and came on a pile of her dirty clothes. I hid the cum clothes at the bottom of the pile and when i woke up she made me breakfast
>>714045192
>$7.50 for a beer
>Live in Norway
>This is normal price here
>mfw
>>714065237
What a retard
A lot of these things make me feel better about my drunken escapades. I have no barrier. 1 drink and I am off like a fucking lunatic.
Wish I could stop. It'd save me a hell of a lot of regret and depressive thoughts.
>>714065297
me or her?
>>714065237
that is so beautiful it should be a poem
>>714040125
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
>>714039085
I vaguely recall watching porn with my friend's sister when I was 10, she was 6 and she ended up falling asleep. I followed the movie and ate her a little, she had some stank so I quit soon enough and just fucked her. I couldn't nut but it felt great and I think she woke up mid way through but nothing was ever said about that day since. She's a freak now though lol.
>took my stepdaughter out for drinks
>get lit
>her mom and I are separated
>ask her not to bring up the women who have been coming over
>walk out of wine bar together
>2 blocks later, waiter catches up with us I forgot to pay
>drunk, I run back super fast for some reason
>when I return she is gone
>fuck it go to a bar
>see here there
>start talking to her, she looks embarrased
>some dude is hitting on her, and she is saying she isn't interested
>he keeps talking to her and I get in his face and tell him to back off
>all of a sudden I'm on the floor, guess he hit me
>we both get thrown out
>so drunk I can barely stand
>dude is waiting across the street
>have to walk that way to get home
>walk over towards him, middle of the street
>next thing I know I'm laying on my back. fuck I guess he hit me again
>I get up and get tackled
>start screaming THAT WAS MY DAUGHTER YOU FUCKING FUCK THAT WAS MY DAUGHTYER
>guess some bouncer pulls him off
>look around, stepD is gone, didn't even come outside when I got tossed out
>laughing stock
>go home
>get a bike lock cuz I'm gonna fuck that guy up
>walk around the street asking people if he is around
>get tired. give up.
>walk to 7-11 to get more beer
>run into guy
>dunno what to do now. could crush his skull i guess.
>walk up to him
>hey sorry about early - thought you were fucking with my daughter
>no problem anon
>he walks away
>hate myself
>hate my wife
>hate my stepdaughter
night is just getting started at this point
>>714042275
Sick bastard
banged an emo chick on cementary
>>714039085
Fucked a filipino ladyboy no protection
i got my best freinds gf prego when he was working out west for a month back, he thinks its his and is super stoked about it. no way im saying anything
>>714065960
you get the aids?
>>714048541
Woolie?
>>714039085
Was a junior in High school, after getting a couple freshmen drunk at a party Convinced a virgin to fuck me, by asking if her or her cousin is better and it escalated, made cousin Get the condoms. A few hours later and fuck her cousin then left never called rather again great night would do again
>>714048602
greentext
I fucked both of my sisters in law from one marriage, fucked my other sister in law from my next marriage, fucked 4 fat bitches, fucked about 10 ugly bitches, fucked about 5 guys, tried to fuck my super hot cousins (didn't work), flirted with just about any woman I came in contact with, regardless of age, race, weight, or looks. I've cheated on my current wife with about 20 different women (all co-workers, cashiers come and go) in a space of about 10 years. I quit drinking.
>>714067171
nice . post pics. glad you are sober. got 5 years here.
hit a guy with a car. drove off. didn't even remember, but found like a chicken bone in my car grill. later figured out it was someones finger. not sure I remember event.
>>714065367
you can stop if you want. stop being a whiny faggot and just fucking stop. it's not that hard.
>>714039085
>last summer on a friday night
>get super drunk with friends at a pub
>hit on girl, talkin for hours
>she needs to catch her bus
>I normally walk home
>decide to wait with her and take the bus till next stop
>go out and somehow think it is a good idea to throw my lighter against the bus
>lose balance while throwing lighter
>somehow i find my legs under the bus
>Bus rolls over them
>unbelievable pain and black out a few times
>both legs broken open fracture
>ambulance arrive, they give me some shit against the pain
>girl comes with me to hospital
>I start tearing up because i thought i going to lose my legs
>surgery they place some metal in my legs
>mfw im wolverine now
>she visits me in hospital and later at home
>one day start making out, have sex before i can walk
>lost virginity because a bus hit me
>16, summer, party at a friends house
>got gf with me, doesnt have alot of friends and is sort of shy so i try to make more "social" by pouring shorts down her throat
>bestideaever.jpg
>it seems to be working, she hangs with another girl and they seem to have a great time
>after maybe two hours i get horny and try convincing her of going upstairs with me(yes we had sex before this)
>she says she want to party more, i try to convince her again and this goes on for a few minutes
>her new friend has heard our entire conversation and tills me to chill, "if you let us party some more you have a better chance of getting laid"
>i chill
>a while later gf asks if im still horny,"ofc i am, you and your new friend have been dancing sexy infriont of me all night"
>"do you think she is hotter than me?"
>panic.exe
>"nononono, i mean sure she looks good but nowhere near as good as you do!"
>"good, i dont want you to pay more attention to her than me, now lets go upstairs"
>fuckyeah.gif
>as we ascend the satirs the other girl follows us and im like "wtf, i thought we were gona bang, why is she following us?"
>"we are, but i told you, i dont want you to give her more attention than you give me"
>"are you serious right now? Is this a fucking threeway?
>"yes, now lets get it on"
It happened, what every teenage boy dreams of. And it was some freaky shit. 16 year old me got to experience what i can only describe as a threeway straight from a porno.
>they made out, rubbed eachother and sucked my dick together, then they 69ed while i fucked them
> gf reverse cowgirled while the new girl ate her pussy, it was absolutely mad.
>new friend sits on my face, gf on my dick, hear them screaming and think they both came
>put new friend on her back, gf sits on her face, i fuck the everliving shit out of new friends pussy and blow my load in her
>tell gf to eat that pussy
Now, things go bad, very bad.
>gf notice that the pussy she is diving into is drenched in cum, she gets mad, very mad
>>714039085
Took a box cutter and cut my penis off. Almost died from blood loss and was rushed to the hospital. It was surgically reattached but it hasn't worked the same since then. Tried killing myelf three times since my act of stupidity, but as you can see, I failed horribly and am now to scared to do anything. I've been living in my grandmother's spare bedroom for the past 4 years and have little to no contact with the outside world.
>>714067421
But that's just win!
>>714045445
>>714047668
I know this is all bullshit but damn dude, I laughed
>like some alcoholic riot hose I enforce peace
>>714041655
The son of KEK!
>>714067851
go on
Got wasted on New Year back in 2008.
My sister was gonna stay at my place during the weekend to skip hotel expenses.
My sister also wasted, went home after the party and pretty much blacked out. Some time during the night we ended up in bed making out that led to me fucking her from behind with a semi soft whisky dick. Then black out again.
Woke up pressed against her ass, pretty much wiener between buns next morning hangover as fuck. Took a few minutes to realize. Worst and best memory ever. Always been horny on her.
>>714067851.
Cont from^
>why did you cum in her? I told you not to give her more attention than me!"
>relax i made you both cum tho right? I didnt think it would be a big deal where i blew my load"
>"NO I DIDNT FUCKING COME, you had your dick in her most of the time, made her cum and then put your load in her!
>she breaks shit while getting dressed, yelling at me and new friend
>during the entire freakout new friend sits on the bed, visibly confused about the entire thing.
>gf storms out and new friend asks if im ok, sats she will get over it etc, then calmly open a drawer in the dresser and sits down in it
>she pushes out whatever cum is left and then takes a piss.
Now this may not sound like a bad thing, but i had to pay for all the broken shit, the "destroyed" clothes and the kicker is i got new friend preggers. She got an abortion, but still, knocking someone up when 16 years old is fucking traumatic.
>>714068240
post screenshot with timestamp now.
>>714069030
just wow. like the part about her pissing and pushing out cum into a drawer lol
>be me
>be 20
>pretty drunk in my house, alone
>this fat girl that i met on the internet tell me to go to her place
>i know i can get laid with her cause we share some pics and stuff
>go to her place
>get more drunk
>gotta be drunk to stick my wiener in that fat cunt
>start filtring in her room with her little sister sleeping in the bed next to ours
>little sister is 14
>she unzip my pants
>"Hey, fat bitch, your sister is in here, i dont know if..."
>"its okay, Anon, shes sleeping"
>fuckit, anyways, im drunk as hell
>fuck her all night long, cum inside her
>pretty sure his sister is awake all the time, hearing us moaning and fucking
>go back to my homer
>days later she calls me saying she is pregnant or some shit
>this fucking fat crazy bitch
>"Oh, ok, what u wanna do?"
>"Don´t know Anon"
>keep calm, meet with her again the next day
>block her number and all that stuff, miss the meeting
>didn´t know of her or her sister anymore
>fucked a paraguayan in a hostel bathroom
>groped a sleeping girl, eventually she woke up and we fucked
>>714069030
i get it
it was a cat
you monster
had a boner half way through part 1 and audibly kekd at the end of part 2