It's t-that time again Anonymous!
Welcome to c-cooking with Alice, the only OC on /b/!
>>713893667
hello
WHAT DID ASIAN MOOT DO TO THE FRONT PAGE
nice
>>713893667
YOUR KNIVES AREN'T ALL FACING THE SAME DIRECTION AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>713893667
You get sexier every time I see you <4
hi alice
In other news, I just submitted my final paper for my ethics class, it's shit by my standards but I only need like a third of the points from it to get an A in the class, so I think it'll do.
Time for a study break. What's on the menu tonight, Alice dear? <4
>>713893847
M-maybe some tea will help out <4
>>713893975
F-first tea! Don't y-you know there is an order to these things?!
AN ORDER I S-SAY!
cute legginings~ <3
Friendly bump for alice girl lady
>>713893667
I wouldn't say ONLY, but it's good to see you, fam. Face?
>>713893973
Hello!
>>713893806
Asian m-moot is killing 4chan.
>>713893764
hi
>>713894020
what tea.
>>713893667
Need some assistance
I used to be a really active guy, with lots of girls, good in law school (one of the 3 most youngest in my year) but then I broke up with my girlfriend, some of my friends betrayed me and finally ended in home, alone, with a few of my best friends and havent move forward after 2 and a half years.
I'm not depressed but I don't know how to regain the will to move forward and be the guy I was before.
>>713893667
Welcome back
>>713894020
>reduces blood pressure
GOOD I REALLY NEED THAT
IF I DRINK NINETEEN GALLONS WILL MY HEART JUST STOP
>>713894081
W-well, let me p-pour you some and w-we can discuss it <4
>>713894020
Tits or gtfo. Also take off that stupid anemay hentei mask.
>>713893667
Alice!
I had a question!
Do you think you're pretty?
I had another question!
Do you think you're attractive?
>>713894145
start by not posting anime girl pictures on a weeaboo imageboard at night
Oooweee Alice!
<4 u Alice-Chan, have fun cooking I don't have time to stick around for the thread
>>713893667
10/10 post. Please cook something delicious. You remind me of my girl a little bit.
>>713894405
Alice I asked you if you had a mask once.
Do you have one?
>>713894020
But Alice? What about the anti-oxidants?
>>713894145
You can never be the person you were before because that person didn't have the experiences or insights that you have now. The question is how can you move past pining for a time that is behind you, and instead accept the you you are now, and perhaps, plan for the you that you wish to become.
How did you get to law school in the first place? By taking steps. It's like losing weight, you don't lose weight by choosing to lose weight, you lose weight by choosing to replace donuts in your diet with apples, then whence you get used to that you take another step.
What is a step that would help you move towards the person you want to become that you can do in a day? Something simple you are willing to do. Do that, then repeat that question. Eventually you can plan a week in advance and further, but the key is to gain momentum, and search for little goals rather than huge ones.
Here's a bump for you, Alice! Hope your thread and night go well! Love always!
I don't like tea. Can you show us how to make a cake?
>>713894461
Does she also have a penis?
Just when i thought my day couldn't get any better!
MAKE PRINGLES WELLINGTON
>>713894072
you linked me!
>>713894338
N-no and no.
>>713894296
H-how about some tea instead? Let m-me pour it for you <4
alice didn't notice me today... oh well. ;~;
bye
maybe next time.
brb going to the movie theatre alone.
>>713894551
No, she doesn't. She's adorable as fuck, with that same kind of petite body. I won't share pics though. You can kys for them, but you won't get them.
>>713894551
ofcourse, it's 12inch bbc, your favourite
>>713894628
YOU SPILLED A LITTLE
>>713894461
I'll b-be making something very good <4
>>713894541
M-maybe in a future thread <4
>>713894609
H-how are you <4
>>713894551
>>713894551
I d-don't have one <4
>>713894663
Silly Luka, I h-had to reboot to get m-my webms <4 Sorry!
>>713894628
wtf is a red potatoe? and is it a clitoris?
>>713894729
*hugs tight* oh okay~
ty
brb, have fun!
>>713894724
I h-have nerve damage, silly <4 A little mess is w-worth the love, right?
>>713894790
A potato that is r-red dear.
I don't get it.
Is this a fetish or something?
>>713894790
A potato thats red you dumb nigger
>>713894874
why is it red?
It's hilarisad that this is the only new OC here.
>>713894729
Prove you don't have a penis
>>713894729
What do you do for a living? Do you prefer Marvel or DC?
>>713894881
I was hoping that she'd do some self-play... doesn't seem to be going that route :(
>>713894628
>N-no and no.
Well, I think you're quite attractive! You have a simply delightful charm because of your willingness to help those who need it, despite your detached manner! That you do it in cute outfits and sensual stockings only makes it all the more endearing!
They are some very attractive traits! Keep it up!
>>713893667
Do you want to marry me?
>>713894901
Because she waters it with the blood of her enemies.
... Please tell me I'm right, Alice
>>713894881
It's c-cooking with Alice!
Today, w-we will be making pork chops!
>>713894729
I'm sorry Alice but seriously your legs, your arms, your hands and your neck screams "I'M A FUCKING SISSY!".
So yeah you're a trap unless you prove otherwise.
>>713894924
stedda complaining go make some
>>713894729
Hey Alice. Went to the the intake I said I was going to. Unfortunately all their therapists are full so they are trying to find one that can do stuff like CBT. So till then I can't do much else. Other than that haven't talked to another person for awhile been very isolated.
>>713894790
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0qU8cS52Njv
>>713893667
Tits or GTFO
>>713894296
there is no tits because there is no 'she'... alice is a fag
>>713894700
Nice try pretending to be me, faggot. Go get fucked in jail or something. You'd love dropping the soap.
>>713895011
>>713894942
I've only b-been here five years guys. Lurk moar.
>>713894959
I'll d-do my best!
>>713894974
W-what enemies?
>>713895032
Oh d-dear, I'm sorry to hear that Anonymous!
I'm really salty that the medication that keeps me mentally stable makes my hands shaky and uncoordinated. I used to be able to tap out texts with my non dominant hand, now I can barely manage two handed sometimes.
>>713894901
To first create a red potato, you must first create the universe.
http://alicelied.blogspot.com/
>>713894959
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1v4TPBxE8AM
>>713895090
ay cunt you wanna fucking go mate
Trap
>>713895021
I'm as creative as a tree stump but I do find these threads entertaining.
>>713895011
Fuck off
>>713895134
Oh d-dear, what medication is it?
>>713895179
Come at me you fucking skeleton faggot
>>713895131
Me too, I just don't usually click on obvious autism threads
>>713895179
fucking bring it mr bones
>>713895231
i'll fuck you up so bad you wannabe skeleton faggot
>>713895156
I came
>>713894663
luka~
>>713894729
I'm looking for a friend to play with. Why is singtel ofline?
>>713895179
You'll regret it. Come at me.
>>713895001
I want to love make with you
>>713895309
can't step to the eaz
>>713895223
Latuda
>>713895231
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1yEVxVkkOHB
You'll n-need these ingredients for your delicious porkchops! I've labeled them all f-for you, so f-feel free to print out my picture, t-take it to the super market, and hand it t-to the grocery clerk like a t-total weirdo!
>>713895399
fuck you for making me count you smelly fuck
>>713895032
By the way friend, there's a site called 7cupsoftea. Not nearly as insightful as Alice usually is but if you're needing someone to listen to you one on one, especially between friends, you might get some help there.
>>713895415
How old are you?
>>713895415
Have you ever tried reverse searing porkchops? Kenji Lopez on serious eats has a wonderful recipe for it.
>>713895415
Alice. I want your Shanghai doll.
>>713895513
I t-try to focus on meals t-that are easy to cook f-for a novice <4
Show ur cock
Its a <cute> trap
>>713895415
Thank you for giving me something to look forward to, now I dont have to face each day so empty.
>>713895415
That's really kind of you Alice, thank you
>>713895573
Y-you can purchase her for 150 dollars <4
>>713895582
Touché! I hadn't thought of that.
>>713895573
That is Goliath tho
http://alicelied.blogspot.com/
>>713893667
>2016
>buying women's clothes
>having a cock
Hi can I see your cock faggot?
>>713895677
I'm n-not done yet! You'll also n-need these ingredients for the marinade!
>>713895668
It's m-my pleasure <4
>>713895685
I'm a different anon but I'll bite.
>>713895685
Did you make her?
Hey Alice I really love this!
Please do more!
You are telling me i missed a chance to cook with Alice because i already ate food
>>713895478
I have been there its not really helpful at all. To the point multiple people have literally stopped talking to me or said they cant help me and end conversation.
>>713895760
Thanks, anyways I am going to go. I am also going to remove you off skype please do not readd me unless you actually want to talk and not plug your threads as these really do nothing for me but make me feel more depressed.
Hey Alice, how are you doing tonight? Just joined the thread, sorry I'm late. Just got home.
>>713895760
Alice I'm really glad you are doing this! I love it!
Thank you for teaching me some about cooking!
>>713895760
hi fag
i can see your adams apple
/thread
>>713895415
Alice, do you believe in 'soul mates' or 'love at first sight' stuff?
>>713895769
More if y-you want flight capabilities.
>>713895773
Of c-course, she is m-my child <4
She even writes music.
>>713895784
I'm w-working on it!
>>713895918
Souls don't exist.
>>713895760
ADAM'S APPLE DETECTED
ADAM'S APPLE DETECTED
ADAM'S APPLE DETECTED
ADAM'S APPLE DETECTED
ADAM'S APPLE DETECTED
>>713895955
Fun! The dolls would be pretty neat to have around. Now if only they were real.
>>713895970
"adventures in seeing shit that doesn't exist" -By faggot anon
I almost f-forgot, you'll also need potatos.
That's a f-funny word isn't it. Potato.
Potato!
>>713893667
Sauce on girl in pic?
>>713895970
i can't see it?
go choke on an apple you snake
>>713895970
>>713896112
BOIL EM
MASH EM
STICK EM IN A STEW
>>713895955
Would talk/lurk more but I have a competition tomarrow! Good luck at teaching /b/ how to cook!
Hi Alice
I've heard about you, but never actually been in one of your threads.
It seems very delightful! Don't let these pervs bring you down.
Best wishes
-B
>>713895760
So i have to print two images now?, sigh the guy at the grocery store is really going to think im a weirdo :/
What's going on
>>713896112
You don't tip your pizza guy your true colors are showing Alice
Trap
Trap
Trap
Trap
Trap
Trap
>>713896074
Oh? S-she is quite real, I assure you. I wasn't joking:
http://picosong.com/ULYy/
>>713896112
Use that knife behind the clipboard to cut off your dick and then show it to us
>>713896258
Who cares? Trap or not, doesn't matter.
>>713895380
Oh shit boy. Count that one all day at work. Sorry it's giving you the shakes my dude
You are not a girl, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
>>713896229
Don't actually do that, that's weird.
Instead, d-do this to y-your potatoes!
>>713896357
you're a siiiiiickcuuuuunt
>>713896112
Your dolls are living beings.
You must feed your dolls...
>>713896357
cunt
are you a boy or a grill?
@ anyone
where to DL/watch DB super from episode 1?
oh, they're not red in the inside.
Why do you stutter? Are you a guy? Why are you here?
>>713896319
Well, that's a neat little song.
Cute
>>713896391
aww
>>713896429
you got a webber, they're beauties right?
http://alicelied.blogspot.com/
>>713896319
Why do you always ignore Luka? She always defends you in /animu/. You could at least say hi.
>>713896429
a girl in a male's body
>>713893667
Sharpie in poopar?
>>713896519
who the fuck are you you faggot cunt fuck you james brown lookin motherfucker
it's a trap
yall retarded for not seeing this
>>713896484
Entirely autogenerated b-by an A.I. I've made <4
>>713896524
I literally replied to her in this thread.
>>713896386
Lol, still a trap, if he stopped saying he is a girl then nobody would care about being a cute trap.
>>713896396
You miiiight want to place a dishtowel under your cutting board, it'll help reduce the sliding.
>>713896396
Poor potatos i feel bad for them
>>713896396
those are some thicc forearms.....
>thanks
would love to see that pussy, mhhh
>>713896627
thiccccccccc
>tfw instead of just relaxing and enjoying a nice thread, all these anons are paranoid over whether or not you have a cock
>>713896116
It's alice. Ya fucking tard. She's been doing this for 5 years.
>>713896638
it's actually a red tater
reporting in. how's everybody doing tonight?
>>713896609
That's pretty fun then!
B-but tatoes without spices is j-just bland, so w-we need to season them first!
Season your potatoes like trolls s-season my threads: extra salty!
>>713896671
She's literally still posting, look at the fucking timestamp idiot
Can we see your butt please?
>>713896597
I want a GTX 1080 santa!
>>713896396
MANLY HANDS DETECTED
MANLY HANDS DETECTED
TRAP FUCK OFF
TRAP FUCK OFF
alice must be a boy, girls cant cook, they are just doing it because they have no other choice
>>713896706
If we season them that much theyre not going to be edible silly.
>>713896609
Next time she bothers coming to these threads you should greet her, dum-dum-dummy.
>>713896715
>2022-6
>being this retarded
>>713896585
I'm someone that knows the true Alice
http://alicelied.blogspot.com/
>>713896842
Butts are the best.
>>713893667
that's a dude right?
Those muscular lumberjack forearms don't lie.
Eh, any r34?
>>713896660
I bet she chops down trees as a hobby
>>713896524
luka is cute :3
Alright, n-now that your tatoes are as s-salty as the /b/tards s-saying I have a dick, it's t-time to marinade your chops! B-be sure t-to really work the sauce in t-there, so they taste great!
>>713896842
>>713896961
no, you're a salty faggot with an edgy blog and no friends
>>713896396
lol nice man hands faggot
even ur skinny but those are still some manly fucking hands
>>713896750
>>713896842
That looks delightful alice. May we see without the panties for dessert?
>>713893667
op is a gay male
>>713896940
The only retard here is you.
>>713894628
this is a guy. I'm all but certain.
Not like it'll stop me from fapping...
>>713896597
Hey man a girl is paying attention to them, let them have their fun.
>>713894628
translucent knife block, seems familiar.
>>713896961
And who are you, exactly?
>>713897025
Stop stuttering you fucking autist
>>713897129
S-sorry, but I'm a girl <4
>>713897177
N-never! You c-can take my burnt pan, m-my meals, and even m-my dolls!
But you c-can never take my stutter!
>>713895131
>5 years
fucken newfag
Also, who did you vote for?
>>713896992
Luka-chan is always a cute.
>>713897025
That looks delicious already!
>>>implying we aren't all playing along to distract ourselves from our suicidal thoughts
>>713895415
God damn that's a really nice clip board
>>713897125
>>713895179
go away skeleton
>>713894790
>wtf is a red potatoe?
Jesus Christ you're such a fucking nigger
>>713897177
>>713897221
>>713897248
hah heh....fucking kek
>>713894628
you can tell by what little muscles in the arms and legs this faggot has that it's a dude
>>713896961
WTF is this, I'm trying to eat pork chips
>>713897263
T-that's me as Alice; I've been posting since 2004.
And that is none of your business.
>>713897299
>>713897273
R-right?!
>>713895822
I'm really sorry to hear that man, that's very unprofessional of them. Actual therapists won't do that though, as worst case scenario they are ethically obligated to refer you to someone more qualified. I'm sorry these threads aren't helpful for you man, but things can get better, I promise.
>>713897177
>>713897248
Congrats you two newlyweds!
>>713895042
kek
>>713897177
>>713897248
Looks like you're stuck with the stuttering buddy
>>713897299
no it isn't, it's shitty pink lexan you uncultured fuck
>>713897347
go get a modest mahogany clipboard to go with your modest TV
>>713897344
Y-yes, that's certainly not f-from me using every dime I had t-to make sure /b/tards had food, shelter, healthcare, and video games.
Oh wait.
>>713897361
I'm already m-married to Anonymous.
>>713897248
You go gal tell'em them fuckers!
Next can you cook up some cyanide and kill yourself? Thanks.
>>713895685
MoonBitch
>>713896597
Santa, I wanna find true love
>>713897166
A long-time observer of this community. Seen it all, good and bad.
>>713897059
You think I'm grey, don't you? Couldn't be more wrong.
http://alicelied.blogspot.com/
>>713897347
You prolly voted for hillary you libtard.
kys
>>713893667
I need some advice, Alice. My dick is too big to fit in my girlfriend and I'm afraid she's going to cheat me. We only do anal and she gives me head every morning but that's it.
What do?
N-now, you are going to w-want your chops to soak in that marinade f-for two to five hours.
The longer, the better!
Hey Alice, thanks for doing these threads they always make me happy for some reason!
>>713897523
Thread won't last that long
>>713897523
Okay! :)
Alice2 claimed.
>>713897025
Great job on the recipe so far; I can literally taste it in my mouth right now!
>>713897478
no, i just think you're a faggot, with an edgy blog, and no friends
>>713897523
Thats what she said!
>>713897615
I second this
>>713897599
Fag
>>713897478
Nice way to not be edgy. How about some specifics? You one of the fuckers talked about in the blog?
>>713897523
YOU GOT ROASTED TRAP
http://alicelied.blogspot.com/
>>713895032
Sorry to hear anon. Hope you feel better soon. My insurance ran out and isn't going to be renewed until 30 days. So, I'm pretty screwed too. Mental health issues. Not going to get therapy til then.
>>713897423
The first thing I'm going to do to you as your husband is beat the stutter out of you
>>713897434
H-how about almond pudding? <4
>>713897478
I doubt you've even talked to me once.
>>713897496
M-moving on.
>>713897527
>>713897527
I d-do my best.
>>713897599
M-me too! Because I'm eating it!
>>713893667
Alice can I see your cute feminine penis tied up with a ribbon?
>>713897664
Just like you.
>>713897523
I will wait diligently
>>713897567
greetings my fellow gentleman!
>>713897666
He was food poisoned by Alice
>>713897306
Why do you have a picture of hulk
>>713897344
Masculine muscletone and the movements are not feminine.
>>713897478
That's a bit frightening. I had to step away a bit, I mean a lot.
>>713897567
D-don't worry! While w-we wait, we c-can grill the potatoes!
Mais quelle grosse pute.
>>713893667
This shit is so cringey. Guaranteed this chick has a dick too.
>>713897692
If i post my dick could you rate it for me
i need something to work with though, >>713897523
need more skin
>>713897692
>M-me too! Because I'm eating it!
I am guessing you pre-made all of the videos and such.
>>713897718
I bet his real vendetta is against Goliath...that rascal
>>713897776
Mmmmm!!
>>713897269
why didnt u go to movies with her?
>tfw alice ignored my post
>>713897776
>>713897657
thank you pal, have a fun bug
>>713897523
so if my penis for you was longer it would be better?
>>713897816
D-do I get my money back w-with that guarantee?
Why is this dude dressing up like a girl and cooking?
And why are there people in this thread that are going along with it?
>>713896144
You, I like you.
>>713897708
Wishful thinking, m8.
N-now, once your chops are g-good and marinated, you c-can grill them!
I recommend searing them nicely, t-to get the texture and flavor just right!
>>713897769
Dang it Bobby.
>>713897838
I've asked her out a few times but she always refuses. We only talked on Skype.
>>713897776
Assuming you are who i think you are, i don't like you, however i am obliged to ask where you got those stockings, I like the print
20 pounds in 2 weeks! 20 pounds! 2 weeks!
>>713897692
If you want to be wrong, sure. Go ahead and think that.
>>713897718
That was actually pretty funny.
http://alicelied.blogspot.com/
>>713897939
I'm f-female, sorry <4
>>713897999
I can see why.
>>713898013
I'm Alice2, of c-course <4
what is there to not like?
>>713897939
Have you seen most of the threads on this board? This is true gold my nigga
>>713897984
Girls hands don't look like that. Also please learn to knuckle when you slice food. You will lose a fingertip like that.
>>713897757
Dang it, Bobby!
>>713897867
Thank you, have a puppy in return
>>713897939
Anon you wished you had a wife
>>713896632
O-of course nigga.
>>713896671
This f-faggot knows whats up.
>>713897177
Y-yo bitch, stop the h8.
>>713897921
S-stop posting niggers in here f-for fucks sake.
>>713898057
W-will do <4 Given you are saying blatant lies about me, it's the most plausible explanation.
>>713898102
I'm a g-girl, so....empirical evidence disagrees <4
>>713898063
Why?
>>713897984
Don't forget to pat them dry before cooking! Lack of surface moisture helps increase the effects of he maillard reaction.
>>713897984
Yeah bb cook dat meat then i'll cook dat ass with my dick
show us ya gabs missus
>>713897816
>>713897890
>>713898168
>>713898146
Something is not quite right...
10 seconds apart, am i missing some rp?
>>713898063
Well, i dont like good food or women, but the question still stands.
>>713898168
>2 weeks
>20 pounds
>>713897825
Not Alice.
Yes she premade them.
Rendering videos takes time you know, then splitting them so they look good.
>>713897939
why do people masturbate to men with boob jobs and call themselves straight?
>>713893806
Say goodbye.
>>713898102
>Girls hands don't look like that.
you're just confused because her hands have one more dimension than your waifu's you unwashed degenerate
>>713898168
You've given no quantifiable evidence. The burden of proof is on the original poser. The tendon structure through your knuckles and around the base of your thumb. Along with blunter fingertips argues that you are in fact. A boy.
>>713893667
Is that your parents house?
>>713898045
That doesn't seem healthy. Or real.
>>713895415
>
t-trimmed of fat? that's the best part!
>>713897939
Just check this out, is a mentally ill faggot.
>http://alicelied.blogspot.cl/
>>713897984
>>713898063
>>713898168
>>713898146
FUCK OFF FAGGOT THERE IS A TRAP THREAD FOR YOU.
>>713898211
T-this guy knows what's up!
You g-get the first bite dear <4 Dig in!
>>713898260
T-that wasn't me.
>>713898265
Amazon.
>>713898332
Y-yeah, I'm pretty s-sure I made no claim, you are.
And your evidence is quite weak.
>>713898347
It's m-my apartment <4
>>713898305
I'm a functional member of society boss. I don't do waifus
>>713898198
Do you know what they look like irl
>>713897999
Bring her seamonkeys
>>713897984
Is your pimp letting you stay in his house because you let him fuck your boi pussy
Have you seriously been posting here for 5 years? I have been here for 3-4 years (on and off )and I've never seen you.
>>713898332
who cares if he got a dick i'd still suck the fuck outta that and if she is a girl then i'd eat the fuck outta dat pussy and bite her titties
>>713898305
>roasted
>>713898332
She's not the one who starts with saying she's a girl. Other people present an accusation that she's not a she. The burden of proof is thus on the one presenting the accusation. Saying "the tendons on your knuckles means your a boy" is a stretch at bet, and her implied evidence is that transsexuality, and lying about it as such, is rarer than, oh I dunno, her being a she.
>>713898400
Why do you care so much?
ALICE PLEASE MAKE A NEW THREAD SINCE WE'RE AT THE BUMP LIMIT
>>713898400
I'm q-quite sure I'm not mentally ill, b-but if you w-want a trap, I recommend y-you talk to GarEE:
https://anekiho.me/garee/garee.html
>>713898429
I d-don't have a pimp, sorry <4 Independent only, cash n-no cards.
>>713898414
Fuck.
>>713898414
Aww! Thank you very much! Also, I'm a girl!
>>713898168
Your reasoning failed you this time.
http://alicelied.blogspot.com/
>>713898414
Looks really delicious thanks a lot Alice!
>>713898400
Dude I'll say it again
>>implying we aren't all playing along to distract ourselves from our suicidal thoughts
>>713898414
>Scientific evidence based around the study of human anatomy across ages
I'm not complaining if you are a boy. I'm just asserting that you are. I'd like the contrary to be true.
>>713898422
Luka? Yeah. She's tall, pale, and a bit unhealthy. I wish she would eat more.
>>713898424
Very funny, she'll never care for them.
