So I'm 25 years old, and don't live with either of
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
So I'm 25 years old, and don't live with either of my parents. My mom wants me to make a "Christmas list" again this year..
All dubs go on the list
"let me taste ur saggy pussylips mommy"
Rolling for dragon dildo
>>713753878
roll
>>713753855
great start
>>713753855
holy shit
>>713753855
WINRAR
>>713753878
>this
The biggest fake pussy you can find
>>713753855
Rolling for same message but asshole lips
Well, all I want for Christmas is to know someone genuinely likes me as a person.
Maybe next year..
a baby jesus butt plug
>>713753855
Damn first reply, delivar op
dead cat
5 different bad dragon dildos of your choosing. 1 has to be the largest they make
>>713753855
hahaha
do it faggot!
hormone drugs
Ether
Bad dragon dildo
Sex doll
And a child aged 10-14
>>713753855
Winrar
>>713754244
wasted
a fleshlight of your molded pussy and a litre of lube
tell her you just want a nude pic of her
>>713753878
Reroll
>>713753720
Fuck you and your bourgeoisie existence.
pls buy onahole mom
New Holocaust
http://shop.brutaldildos.com/product/CNVTSX-11005011/mr-ed-horse-penis-dildo-flesh
poo sniffer
>>713753878
>dubz get
>>713753720
pocket pussy
Ron Jeremy in Pikachy costume
eat peanuts and poop in a baggy for me
>>713754599
WINRAR!!!
>>713754599
KEK
Farts in a mason jar.
Your worn panties would be nice mommy
https://www.amazon.com/Passion-Lubes-Natural-Water-Based-Lubricant/dp/B005MR3IVO
>>713754766
WINNERWINNERWINNERWINNERWINNERWINNERWINNER
Your pussy
here is the list so far
1. "let me taste ur saggy pussylips mommy"
2. Mr. Ed Horse Penis Dildo
3. Farts in a mason jar
4. Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum
>>713754599
Winter again
>>713754919
lets get to 10, then it will be a complete list
OP is a bitch that won't fukkin do it.
peace and happiness for those around you
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00067F1CE/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1480636492&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=jl421+badonkadonk+land+cruiser+tank
>>713755199
FUCK
a new xbox
A noose
>>713755199
I choose Brazzers subscription
>>713755199
not sure how to put a picture in the list
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0083Y0W26/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1480636548&sr=8-3&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=circumcision&dpPl=1&dpID=31Qqp4wNZyL&ref=plSrch
>>713753720
I want you to watch me stick a knife in my anus and slice my perineum open.
Ice cold chocolate milk
daddys love
I want you dead
I want you to get infected with pussywarts
I want a cat with his intestines hanging out
a wii
>>713755555
fuck
>>713755555
what a waste
>>713753855
Instant Win!
Apple sauce
>>713755555
Fuckin quads witnessed
i love the 1st 3
rolling for
https://www.amazon.com/Gurren-Lagann-Yoko-Cozy-Pillow/dp/B002UW9XOU
>>713755731
>quads
>>713755555
>>713755555
DAMN
>>713755731
quints you mentally deranged orangutan.
A dildo
>>713755555
quads count
1. "let me taste ur saggy pussylips mommy"
2. Mr. Ed Horse Penis Dildo
3. Farts in a mason jar
4. Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum
5. Custom Home Renovation from Flawless Finish Construction
razor scooter
Alright /b/ what's your sickest fantasy? how close have you come to fulfilling it?
>>713755555
when is quints and everyone says quads
>>713754138
Know how you feel
>>713755853
Custom home renovation!! Ha ha ha
>>713755853
>#5
dino chicken nuggets
https://www.diapers.com/p/my-little-pony-cutie-mark-magic-canterlot-castle-playset-1190476?sku=HS-4514&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc_D&utm_campaign=GooglePLA&utm_content=pla
1. "let me taste ur saggy pussylips mommy"
2. Mr. Ed Horse Penis Dildo
3. Farts in a mason jar
4. Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum
5. Custom Home Renovation from Flawless Finish Construction
6. Dino Chicken Nuggets
zip ties, machete, lye, duct tape, and rope.
and don't ask what its for.
condoms
a copy of dad
http://cloneawilly.com/collections/plus-balls/products/clone-a-willy-plus-light-tone
>>713753720
a single grape
A cross, a whip and some Jesus hentai
a used pair of your panties
a bulk order of vibrators
nudes
a mason jar of dads cum
lakers tickets
A child slave from vietnam
>>713756721
Lol
pics of dads small limp dick and some garlic oil
anime body pillow
5 feet of rope and a small stool
>>713753720
Stop being a fag op
season 2 of game of thrones
the browns to win at least one game
>>713756808
>implying anyone would pay to see the lakers
>>713756961
im waiting til we get to 10
https://www.amazon.com/Images-SI-Uranium-Ore/dp/B000796XXM
+
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01CA1MKCM/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1480637415&sr=1-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=shahada+flag&dpPl=1&dpID=51cB58gtfpL&ref=plSrch
>>713757050
look man they better now, d' angelo is the future
>>713757099
Put it on the list
Lube a pool noodle and razor blades
alanis moresette jagged little pill 20th anniversary album
goku, just goku
Mango lube a fleshlight rope shovel belt black disposable bags bleach lighter weapon of choice hentai trans videos 2 packs of magnum condoms a ticket to thailand and vasile also heprpes cream
heroin
your virginity
>>713757196
1. "let me taste ur saggy pussylips mommy"
2. Mr. Ed Horse Penis Dildo
3. Farts in a mason jar
4. Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum
5. Custom Home Renovation from Flawless Finish Construction
6. Dino Chicken Nuggets
7. Wait Til 10
>>713753720
You piss me off OP. Why do you act like a little shit because your mom wants you to make a christmas list? Clearly she misses having you around and by shopping for you for christmas it makes her feel close to you again, you should be so lucky to have a mom that cares this much. I fucking hate you I hope you get a virus on your computer that spreads cheese pizza everywhere and you get arrested and your family disowns you and you get assraped in jail every hour by both inmates and the guards. Fuck you.
for christmas i wanna eat fruidsalad from ur pussy
>>713757227
>columbine shooters
>tattood on her ass
wow
>>713757411
but....
>>713757216
reeeeeeee
Lucky Star complete series blu-ray
>>713757426
good idea, ask for cheese pizza
>>713757411
1. let me taste ur saggy pussylips mommy
2. Mr. Ed Horse Penis Dildo
3. Farts in a Mason Jar
4. Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum
5. Custom Home Renovation from Flawless Finish Construction
6. Dino Chicken Nuggets
7. Wait Til 10
8. Your Virginity
Third trimester aborted fetus
dig around in your bellybutton and let me sniff your finger
>>713755555
Niggers hanging of a tree
1. let me taste ur saggy pussylips mommy
2. Mr. Ed Horse Penis Dildo
3. Farts in a Mason Jar
4. Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum
5. Custom Home Renovation from Flawless Finish Construction
6. Dino Chicken Nuggets
7. Wait Til 10
8. Your Virginity
9. Lucky Star Complete Series on Blu-Ray
10. Cheese Pizza
3.5 pounds of cocaine
Make it a white christmas
I want a robot that shits like a human
>>713757662
Send send send
>>713757662
aight boys we did it, do it OP
>>713757662
alright guys, im drafting the text
A fleshlight... The kind with the butt entrance.
I am using all my powers of disbelief-suspension to enjoy this moment.>>713757791
A real gf
1big black buttplug set with heated rim
2black slave for sexual pleasures and castration
3jar full of cum from relatives
4blowjob from all hot femanons from family
5violently masturbate in a closet in a batman suit with a belt around your neck tight
a personal nigger slave
>>713757907
you can't put your butt in a fleshlight
rerolling for dildos
>>713757977
winrar
>>713757968
fuk you dickyed
rolling for "i want to go to a restaurant with you"
>>713757977
Cant stump the dubs
>>713758000
Woag
>>713758000
great job idod
>>713758044
Fuck you pussy hole
>>713755335
How do you do it
>>713753720
socks. underwear and gift certificates to grocery stores.
this is an adults wishlist
>>713758142
fuck you dickpenispussyshtcuntsnotrag
i win.
game over
>>713755555
FUCK
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B01N0H8QR4/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1480638050&sr=8-6&keywords=sex+doll
i want to stab you in the stomach and fuck it
>>713753720
Is she hot?
>>713754244
>>713753855
Bruh do it
>>713757974
>All the photos of simon on the walls of your office with strings leading to pictures of murder victims are to be removed
>>713758381
Answer this question.
a euthenism
>>713758229
Shut the fuck up before i punch your dick with my lips in front of your sister fag
13 and a half VHS copies of Shaolin vs. Ninja
alright.. its done
>>713756661
666 bad
>>713756105
See, not only is it autistic, it's also a shitty toy
>>713758647
HOLY SHIT HE ACTUALLY DID IT!
Small wash rag
Chloloform
>>713758647
Include me in the screencap boys
>>713758647
Here we go boys
>>713758647
R.I.P
>>713758647
spoiler: he changed his best friends contact name to "Mom"
can't believe you simple bitches still fall for this shit.
>>713757411
Heyy
>>713758647
The absolute mad man
>>713758647
It appears that OP is NOT a faggot
a bulk order of 500,000 ladybugs
"pictures of sexlord66"
>>713758647
Sent at 4:20 pure gold!!!
>>713758714
>>713758724
>>713758751
>>713758762
>>713758775
>>713758798
>>713758800
>>713758862
guys usually she responds to everything rather quick, im getting worried
>>713759020
Shes crying
>>713759020
Rip shes filing for adoption
>>713758647
OP is a fag. Include me in the screencap
>>713758647
Fuck...>>713758647
Shits cash
>>713759020
takes time to fart in a jar dude
>>713759102
This
>>713759256
This
>>713753878
This
>>713759020
Is she hot?
>>713759102
Should file for long overdue abortion
/thread/
>>713759098
dont say that
>>713753855
Fpbp
>>713759478
she probably is.
>>713753720
Badminton set.
>>713759544
I'd cry to if my son was a looser
>>713759478
That
>>713759401
75th trimester abortion
>>713759577
thats wat i'd really like..
>>713758647
tell her you want pictures of "sexlord66"
Anon is your mom kill
>>713759855
dubs say so
>>713759855
Dubs confirms
>>713759723
Rip
>>713753720
Ask her to make you an admin on a shitty Facebook meme page.
>>713759988
Winrar winrar
maybe she is confused? or too upset to reply? ahhhh
>>713760133
Most likely too upset
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1933929936/sr=8-1/qid=1480639102/ref=olp_product_details?_encoding=UTF8&me=&qid=1480639102&sr=8-1
>>713753720
20 lbs. of ass and pussy
>>713758647
AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA
>>713760133
OP i said it takes time to get more than one fart inside a glass jar. don't be ungrateful, you're getting some rad christmas presents
Let's call flawless finish ask him for a estimate
>>713755555
nig
>>713755555
HOLYFUCK
>>713758647
HOLY FUCK THE MADMAN
"Your hot ass, mom."
>>713753878
roll
get me a rope nigger im gonna hang you from our front yard tree
guys.. help
>>713758647
Well, merry Christmas you cunt
ur gettin on this years naughty list for sure op
Her dirty used panties.
my new boyfriend
Your ass, mom
Text her again saying you can share with her if she wants
>>713760925
Rip op
![41oycrYKaxL._SX316_BO1,204,203,200_[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/c1aaP47.jpg "41oycrYKaxL._SX316_BO1,204,203,200_[1].jpg")
>>713760925
Kek
>>713760925
tell her youve been good this year
>>713753720
bj from a prostitute?
>>713760997
bump
>>713760925
"do you have any pictures of my birth? I want to photoshop myself re-entering your womb."
>>713760925
You don't have a mom now pal
you ded nigg
>>713760925
" Yes mommy that's all i want. "
>>713760997
bump..
>>713761116
re-roll
>>713760925
Fucking kek
>>713760925
U better claim someone who doesn't like you took your phone as a prank
Dragon dildo with a bottle of expensive lube
>>713753720
Both texts read the same. OP is a fucking fraud.
>>713761156
roll for this
>>713761265
lol how would you play this off as a prank
Bump
>>713760925
Tell her it's for some friends who are in more need than you
say "Sorry its a big list. Mainly number 1 please"
>>713761265
she wouldnt believe me
>>713761265
Fuck that. Double down OP, ask her for nudes
>>713761284
Reroll
mmmmmmm YES
Get me an onahole as well.
>>713761408
Then go for that ass
>>713761435
I second this
>>713761388
Winrar
>>713761435
This 100%
>>713761544
Winrar winrar winrar
>>713761435
ALL OR NOTHING NYIGUHHH
send this pic.
im gonna kill myself mom just try and stop me
>>713761654
bump
>>713761622
Winrar winrar
>>713761654
bump...
>>713761676
Lurk moar
>>713761335
Someone doesn't like you, wants revenge or does a prank. Takes your phone, sees text from your mom, decides to reply to make you look bad, puts phone back on your desk.
"Omg, sorry mom! Steve that asshole is out to get me, took my phone and sent a lot of bad messages." for example.
You have to think quick on your feet if you're going to pull shit like this. You. Don't jump from a plane without a parachute.
>>713761758
fuck yourself nigger
>>713761644
WINRAR!!!
>>713753720
Text your mom You're*
>she will understand, and youll be able to have incest butt sex with her all day.
Also, need pics.
>>713760925
Just get us pics of her asshole
/b/ always full of gullible dumbfucks who fall for this shit
>>713761769
Sure because your friend writing a list like that out of the blue makes perfect sense
Fleshlight
>>713761296
there's no fun in sitting on a cake.
>>713762002
Summer 4chan amirite
>>713761408
Well you should of thought of that 1st, dumbass
Mom, I'm actually gay and into incest. I want one night with dad and I want him to fill my asshole with Dad's acceptance.
>>713762066
But it's December...
>>713762150
Reroll
>>713762180
I know what i said nigger
Tell her the truth... Tell her /b/ did it
>>713762248
Alright faggot chill.
>>713762039
Give me a better solution then for getting out of a jam like this, prof. Einstein.
>>713762310
stroke my cactus kid
>>713762150
This 10000%
>>713762335
Nothing would work lol that's what I'm saying you're fucked no matter what
>>713753720
Tell your mom about this website and how she never gives your boipucci any attention
>>713762150
Let's try this
>>713762335
Say you took a tonne of drugs or say you lost a bet
>>713761822
Oooh you got me real good there kiddo
I poop on the floor at my house just like a cat or dog would poop. It's more comfortable to me.
>>713762068
It's *should HAVE you failed abortion.
Op deliver
>>713753720
Why not just put a few things you actually want on a list for a parent that clearly cares for you instead of being an autistic faggot?
>>713762403
WTF is a "cactus kid"?
hey guys, OP here. I decided to just call her and explain/apologize.. im a little bitch. thanks for the fun though
>>713762896
Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was America!
>>713762941
pussy confirmed
>>713762941
IMPOSTER
>>713762941
Did you get the pussy though
>>713762941
OP is faggot as always.
>>713754599
Kek 5 star review!
>>713762932
Ask yourself that
