You wake up in a hospital room from a long coma. You undo all the wires attached to you and notice that the machines have been turned off. As you get out of bed, you look out the window and see smoke on the horizon. The streets are littered. Cars lay in ruins. A dark cat darts long the road and into the hospital. As you get up out of bed, you notice a note pinned to the sheet just below your chest.
>TAKE THE WEAPON ON THE TABLE. THE WORLD HAS TURNED TO CHAOS. YOU WILL SEE SOON. WHATEVER YOU DO, SURVIVE AT ALL COSTS
You look over at the table and see a...
>Go to google images
>put the last 5 digits of your post followed by 'weapon'
>post first result (be realistic inb4 mechwarriors)
You hear something moving outside the door followed by a gurgling sound, like someone choking on blood. It seems to be getting closer, slowly but surely....
How fucked are you /b/?
>>713420834
rollin
>>713420834
Rollz
Roll
Ok
Not bad
>>713420834
niggers
>>713420834
ok then
roll
roll
rawl
>>713420834
Rolling..
Rll
>>713420834
Ayy nigga rowlin
roll
ayyy
>>713420834
Interesting. How long a coma?
>>713420834
roll my guy
Rolling for giant floppy dildo
>>713420834
Rolling
Rollerino.
>>713422159
Fuck yeah! The world has gone to hell and I'm the fabulous lord of hell.
>>713420834
rolleur
Ayyy?
rollin
>>713422390
Don't know what this is but it looks like a fucking mech. Good luck for me
This seems cool enough lets see how well i do
>>713420834
Roll
>>713422518
Forgot image
Let's ride
>>713422499
nice
>>713420834
Roll
Rolling
>>713422429
Could have been worse..
>>713422342
Fwm
>>713422366
Well, I'm royally fucked. After a coma there's no way I'd be able to shrug into full plate mail and do sword battle.
Roll
Rell
Roll
This looks pretty nice
>>713420834
lloR
>>713420834
Searching the table
Roll
Okok
>>713420834
sure
>>713422366
>>713422366
>>713422644
>>713422644
Double dubs!
>>713422385
>My eyes adjust to the light
>Sitting on the table is a big black guy with a shotgun
"Heyo my nigga u awake. Dez zombies n shit out ther better follow me"
"Are we going to fuck?" I moan in his face
"Yo back up bro I ain't like that. Look we gotta be quick dem sexy vampire nurses gon sho up any second"
"I'm only interested in your huge cock, my big black friend"
>Black guy shoots me
Cool game I guess
>>713422525
A fucking knife
Reroll for under the table weapon
Rolling
>>713422734
Holy shit.
>>713422604
Good I Guess?
>>713422782
You have no idea what you have found
>>713422650
Vallhalala awaits
roll
>>713420834
Roll.
>>713420834
rolllz
roll nig
Rolling for my weapon
>>713420834
Rollllll
rull
>>713422924
aw yeah bitches!
Rollin'.
>>713420834
roll
>>713420834
Dildo gun please
roll
>>713422870
Dont know what it is but its better than a knife
>>713422949
I don't know what i am supposed to do with these 2
rolling
roll
>>713422689
Not bad I guess
>>713423065
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FPLiQh4QVqRs%2Fmaxresdefault.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DPLiQh4QVqRs&docid=6lm5iyO8X-8ugM&tbnid=5xupcg0pCmpIKM%3A&vet=1&w=1920&h=1080&bih=662&biw=1366&ved=0ahUKEwiWofqIj83QAhVM3IMKHVL_AbgQMwgdKAAwAA&iact=mrc&uact=8
They see me rollin'.
>>713420834
That's definitely not how Matchstick Men ended.
how fucked am i lets see
Rollin
>>713420834
rolll
>>713423004
Well at least it won't run out of ammo.
>>713423124
Vat is zis
rolly polly ravioli
>>713420834
Roll
roll
>>713423133
Either a railgun or a shotgun
Roll for life
Rolleroonie
>>713423145
Fuck
>>713423115
Kickass! I dunno how helpful it'll be against the zombie hoards or whatever, but it'll be fun.
rol
Rollinnn
>>713423177
Now all I need is an Adidas track suit and some vodak.
>>713420834
shit dck
Roll I guess
phone of death awesome, im gonna spam the rest of the planet with txts and calls
rollin
>>713420834
Rollins rollins henry mutherfuckin rollins
>>713422900
NV4 assault rifle
>>713423261
not bad
Rolling
>>713423313
ayy the thumbnail on this vid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYCPOj8kjQg
:v what i get
>>713423395
Ok what the fuck
Rollins
>>713422997
shieet
roll
Rolleromo
>>713420834
roll
rollin
Roll
>>713422499
>>713422588
>>713423477
Im on a dubs spree
~roll~
>>713423273
It's a giant aryan cock gun.
>>713420834
>>713420834
you are will smith
okay I will
>>713423366
Dubs did not fail me
Roll
>>713420834
Let's give this a try before I hit the hay.
>>713420834
Roll
>>713423669
fuck..
>>713420834
oh god damn make me a more powerful wizard
>didn't get magic af
>>713420834
roll mama
Hoping for a saiga 12, and plenty of ammo.
Rollin'
I want a drilldo
.
rolleroni
>>713420834
>23600
Her or a F-15 Eagle
numbers
>>713420834
ruulll
Roll
>>713420834
roll
rawls
>>713420834
Bread Roll
shoot em baby
>>713423744
Fantasy weapon key chains.... meh.
>>713423864
Yeah OK
>>713420834
Rolling.
ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDIN ME
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Rool
>>713420834
rlll
Rilloooo
Roll
Rollin
>>713420834
Achio megazord
wutwutinthebuttsecks
Gibe axe
rollllll
rolliing
You have my attention.
roll
>>713423772
Pretty sure i got a fuckin sandwich. Perhaps if i give it to the gurgling fellow he will fuck off.
Rollinnn
Let's a roll
Wanted Quack III railgun. :(
>>713423845
Hmm well not sure how well this will work, but looks cool.
>>713420834
common mystery box don't fail me now!!!!!
rolling for some good shit
Rollin
>>713420834
Rollerino
>>713424002
I think i'll be ok.
This shit is real
Rolling
Roll
wtf is this
>>713424058
Pretty good I guess
>>713424125
And I'm fucked.
>>713420834
rollz
Roll
Roll
>>713423924
I can blaze it up and then hack some shit up.
>>713420834
roll
>>713424291
DeMarinis are pretty dope, bro.
Roll
>>713423416
vodak is teh siht
Rolling
roll
k then
Roll
>>713420834
>Look around
>Notice five ten-sided dice sitting on the wheely-table
>Pick them up and shake them in my cupped hands
>Rollerino.wav
>>713420834
rolling for the glory of OC. and late night entertainment.
713424072
>>713423965
Dual minecraft bows.... DED
>>713423133
That's the stake gun from painkiller. You're well armed.
Fuck it
Hey thats mildly adequate
>>713424222
Well fuck me
>>713423592
I get ALL the guns.
Rolling
Eyy
>>713420834
roll
>>713424303
seems like i'm fine
>>713424264
>On /b/
>Not knowing heavy bolters
>FOR THE EMPEROR, HERETIC SCUM!
Roll
Roll
Rollio
>>713424248
Not bad
>>713424207
bru you got the electricity shoting gun have fun popping heads.
Rolling
rell
ROLLZZZ
>>713420834
Roll
>>713423838
got a godamn power ranger
>saved said power ranger pic to computer
>tried to find it on my meme folder
>all of the sudden the titanium ranger sprouts out of my closet
>screams "titanium power!!!" whilst smashing my shit with golden axe-dildo
well fuck
Roll
rolling!
Rolling
>>713424403
>>713424264
That is a selection of the Imperium's finest bolters and an autocannon. Your in good hands... if you can pick em up.
I shall roll
Rollin
>>713424501
Well ten tons at least
Roll
roll for the rollgods!
>>713420834
rollin for weapon
Rollll
>>713420834
Rollins
Roll
>>713424209
average but fun none the less