>>712806404 pretty shit m8
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>712806404
pretty shit m8
>>712806640
Rip, why? Pic related?
My day's just fine, besides dealing with crippling depression, broke up with my gf last month (no nudes)
Im numb inside
>>712806776
pic unrelated for that first one, just trying to find one of the more dramatic feels pics i have.
my gf of 5 years is probably going to leave me for reasons that are entirely my fault
>>712807008
Pretty good 5 years i bet
>>712806404
i dont care about anything anymore, hows your day going?
>>712807198
they were
cant believe i fucked all that up
for what
im the cheating cunt that everyone hates
im a fucking idiot
>>712807238
>>712806958
Very fine, not only do i like punching lil kids in the face for fun, but i have little to no regrets, besides that im good
>>712806404
everyday is shit for me anon.
Eh... I have reached a point where I dont feel sad,nor happy.
Too tired to feel depressed.
>>712807616
Thats basically me, lots of melancholy sometimes too
Anyoe attempted suicide/self harm or anything to forfet the feels or numb it
>>712808397
occasional self harm fag checking in
>>712807414
is this picture from something anon? Looks a lot like watchmen tbh
>>712808397
Occasionally I cut. Usually when I'm angry or thinking about her. For me I think it's more about self-punishment than anything else. It is pretty faggy though, it try to avoid it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZhpcq0J8CU
>>712810383
this comic always get cut off short, someone post the final one
>>712806404
It doesn't matter. None of this matters.
Literally just got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years.
>>712810505
I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. Embrace it.
>>712807833
I've seen this movie too many times. :(
>>712810545
/b/ is here for you. Always.
>>712810545
howd that go?
I can't stop thinking about my friend..
>>712810490
got you
>>712810545
Sorry to hear that man. That fucking sucks.
>>712810697
what happened to your friend?
>>712810697
Are you the anon that posted in a thread yesterday about how his friend committed suicide? I know strange question to ask, like how the hell would I know.
>>712806404
I'm sitting here stoned, thinking I've wasted my life, thinking my mum was right and i always was bound to be a failure. It's so pathetic i cant do amything but laugh and wish i could cry.
>>712810545
we are here for you /b/ro
>>712810581
That is true. The emptiness starts craving to be filled with some kind of emotion. Something, but sometimes, just want the loneliness and emptiness to stop, permenantly.
>>712810801
I haven't talked to her in a while and have no possible way of contacting her
>>712810878
nah sorry
>>712810749
Thanks, anon
>>712810749
>implying that there will be a her
>>712806404
I feel pretty retarded after failing my driving test due to a lack of common sense
>carry my 9mm everyday
>i have a chl
>don't really carry it for protection
>it's just in case things get too bad for me to take
Having the ability to end my life at any moment, instantly, painlessly, has put things into perspective for me. Sometimes I press the gun against my temple and really consider it, finger on the trigger. But you know, it makes the nice days even better.
It's fun to fantasize about offing yourself until you can really do it. Carry on, /b/ros.
>>712811255
sometimes, someone gets lucky, for a short while, and has a her.
the moments without her are agonizing.
the rest of time after she has left are unbearable.
the thought of her and what you once were will be on your thoughts even when you want to forget
>>712811601
I would love to tell you "don't do it", but I know if I had the chance I would be long gone
>>712807833
What movie?
>>712811973
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
>>712810749
>mfw had more or less 10 gf and the only "her" i had used me to get back at her ex.
All you can do is laugh and cry.
>>712807851
the dawn is your enemy
>>712812213
[Adult Swim]
>>712812098
>mfw i used a 8/10 girl to try to try to get Her back
>mfw when it pushed Her away for good.
Fuck me I'm an idiot.
>>712811650
Well im glad thats not gonna happen to me. Iv got shit luck on top of the fact no girl would even smile at even if there life depend on it but come to think about it maybe my lucks that certent kind of shity that well let me have the joy of a 'her' in my life just to have it turn to ash in my mouth
>>712807411
>>712812213
>>712812296
>>712806404
Life's stressing me out and I can't help but miss one of the best friends I've ever had. I can't manage my stress well, so I'm sitting here and trying to relax a bit.
>>712810505
>It doesn't matter. None of this matters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX-YfuVQmX8
>>712806404
Didn't get the job.
Lost a LOT of weight.
So what? My body is still all droopy and fucked up.
I'm old and no woman has ever loved me.
No job. Fucked up body. over 30.
What's the point?
>>712812312
Same thing happened too "her" secrectly i still care but all my instincts lead me to push her away. She's not brave enough too ever try to fix things. Everybody believes i forgot about her like the rest.
>>712812573
That final episode hit me hard.
>>712812669
I get girls but can't get a job. I don't want girls they're just stress and depression, i want a job that isn't going to drive me over the edge with hopelessness.
>>712810996
At least he has aryan blue eyes.
His sister is stuck with mudshit brown eyes forever.
>>712810996
Thats a fuckin future Jason Voorhees right there.
>>712810089
i remember bawling over this story years ago. it's an old story, Anon. i immediately went to play with my cat after i read this, crying into his fur for like no fucking reason. i still have the cat after five years and he's been sleeping on my bed all fucking day.
>>712810739
Tears were shed
>>712812969
>implying mutt isn't godtier
It's a mixture of the best of the best.
Let me guess, you don't believe in evolution?
>>712806404
I always loved that eyebrow raise he does and that "Whelp, here goes" look on his face
>>712811193
lol, you don't know me. I am so lonely I find people from highschool and piece together their lives from their digital footprints and old newspapers. Help a /b/rother out, give me a purpose. Tell me the basics of who she is.
>>712812669
I didn't get the job either, I don't feel wanted.
>>712812439
Nostalgia, I remember staying up till 3am watching inuyasha and seeing that after the show ended and AS was over.
>>712811601
I sleep next to a WWI era rifle, a taser, and a knife. I just don't know if I'm going to use one of them on an intruder or myself.
>>712811185
I only notice the emptiness when I start to feel normal, like on the rare occasion that I'm out with friends or have a good day. I crave those feelings again, and then realizing that I haven't in so long makes me depressed and empty again.
>finally got gf
>pretty good few months
>progresses fast
>says she loves you more than anything
>talks about moving into an apartment with you
>really physical relationship
>get the succ on an almost daily basis
>suddenly she stops talking as much as she used to
>giving one word replies
>doesn't touch you as much
>faces away from you
>contacts you only when she needs help
>sends you heart emojis when you help but won't even give you a simple hug in public
>talks about moving away to a different state
>break your back to make sure she always has everything she needs
>Help her get through periodic depression
Starting to feel like I'm just being used...I've put a lot into giving her what she wants emotionally and phsyically, trying to keep her happy, but I guess that just isn't good enough. I've stopped initiating conversations with her so I'm going to leave it up to her to talk to me first...wish me luck.
>>712810996
>Maggie, I'll find you.
>>712814066
good luck anon
>>712814066
>giving one word replies
she's cheating on you dude
Asking the guy I like out tomorrow when he hang out. We've been flirting a bit, body language on his end suggests he's cool with it and not just messing around as friends do. Still, worst case scenario I get rejected and he have a sesh and things go back to normal. Best case, I'll be going on a date. Either way, it'll be good to have it off my chest.
Finally recovering for a hiccough caused by ineptitude on the part of the psychiatric wing at my local hospital in which I was off my meds for two months because the medication clinic misplaced my admission paperwork for over a month. Finally feeling back to normal -- still a lingering depression but no hallucinations. Will be normal soon.
>>712806640
I'm fine with my own mortality -- I've had to deal with it once before.
Nothing scares me more than the thought that any day one of the like three people I truly love in this world could just stop being here.
>>712813273
I bawwed so hard at this post a long time ago. Actually, first time I read it was almost 3 years ago exactly.
pic related, it was in thread that I downloaded from.
My dad just beat the fuck out of my little brother and i can hear it across the house and on the 2nd level
All because he threw up in the bathroom
(He's sick)
>>712806404
Went after a Girl for 6 months straight only for her to return to her EX.
>>712814820
Fucking do something about it
>>712814842
Same happened to me, but for longer and she was my girlfriend, and she went back to her ex when we were together.
It will be 3 years in January.
I've come to realize that I've either missed or messed up all of my chances of being romantically involved with other human beings, /b/. This terrible trend began when I was in middleschool, and I realized I was in love with my best friend, a girl named Amanda. At the time, I was a weaboo faggot, but so was she. My mind had been tainted by the typical shonen idea of 'I don't want our relationship to change', but I still wanted to pursue some of the more carnal aspects of love with her. I wanted to be friends with benefits, because I was too much of a pussy to ask her out, because I was afraid of losing a friend that I lost in the end anyways. Fast-forward to highschool, and as a sophomore I was asked out by someone who I didn't even knew existed - a beautiful redhead named Natalie. In retrospect, Natalie had a much better personality in addition to her looks, and how she came to crush on a loser freak like me I'll never know. Her libido was a solid match for mine, as I found out soon after we started dating, and I'm pretty sure we could have gone all the way if it wasn't for one hitch - at the end of that year, I moved 400 miles away. Not exactly something I could have avoided, having been a minor, but it's the epitome of the kind of romantic luck I had. From there, as a third-year completely new to a highschool, I began my descent into total outcast. I integrated myself into a group by eavesdropping on their conversations and eventually stepping in during lunch, no doubt awkwardly. Somehow, it worked, but the group was full of people somewhat like myself, and it was a fairly small group. There was only one female in that group, and I teased her in a pseudosexual manner in some disgustingly pathetic way of trying to show that I was romantically open and interested in her. It was not returned, and later she started dating the de-facto leader of our group, and the man who was my best friend at the time. It bothered me, but only because I was lonely at the time.
>>712815225
Real thing bothering me is that her ex is abusive as fuck. Never figured out whats wrong with that kind of woman.
Im sorry to hear that, stay strong anon.
>>712814066
this reminds me of my ex..
>>712815174
I just yelled at him and now i might get my ass kicked but i'll try to fight
What are the odds against a 38 year old hamplanet and a 17 year old skinny kid?
>>712815934
careful not to get caught in his orbit
>>712816077
Fair enough.
I'll be back in a bit i'm about to confront him
>>712815934
M O D S
>>712816190
R.I.P anon
>>712815491
I didn't recieve any advances during the third and fourth years of highschool, and beyond the preschooler-tier advances that I myself made on my best friend's to-be girlfriend, I didn't make any. In essence, I dated one girl in highschool, for less than a year, and that was the entirety of my physical relationships with people. Let's fast-forward a bit more, to when I turned about 19. I had been roleplaying, as cringy as that is, online for quite a while at that point, and it's how I got into an online long-distance relationship with the woman who would take my virginity. I had lowered my standards some at that point, because she was the most lolrandumXD piece of shit you could possibly imagine. Cosplayed, watched tons of shit-tier anime, the works. I didn't care, I was desperate. She eventually bought me a plane ticket, so I went, where in the first night we had pathetic, rather chorelike sex. I felt little pleasure from it, and it took forever to actually climax - all the hype I'd heard about sex was shattered by this, and it completely killed my interest for a few years. I should mention that, in this, my first and only time having sex, the condom broke. We panicked, got a morning-after pill, and things were fine. I stayed there for a week, at the end of which we went to a theme park with her friend, who was a bodybuilder that made me look like even more of a piece of shit than I already was. He had the most alpha personality I've ever seen, and it made me instantly beta as fuck around him. They never did anything explicit with each other as far as I know, but I saw the chemistry. She enjoyed his company much, much more than mine. Their new relationship was all but confirmed to me by the fact that, the day after I arrived back home, she told me that we should break up. I agreed for various reasons, my anger at the alpha-male being one of them. Fast-forwarding once more, I come to realize that I reach out to my IRL friends less and less.
>>712815491
RIP
I had everything. I had my own group of degenerates, popularity, and I was a huge douche bag. I fucked around with bitches that didn't matter and around senior year I wanted to grow the fuck up. Found the gorgeous black hair pale skinned girl. We dated for some time until we made it official on new years. A while later she cheated on me.
Now I'm really regretting my choices that I made. If I could go back, there was one girl that I would love to start over all over again with. Tall, skinny, flat chest, sandy blonde naturally wavy hair, light skin, and a contagiously cute laugh. Se was super conservative too, and was a total introvert. But I treated her like shit and started dating the bitch instead. :(
High school relationships were so overrated.
I just wish I could do it all over again.
>>712815689
damn, I've tried. I've never had a permanent job, live with my parents, and have been pretty depressed these last few years. I'm pretty fit, and I look pretty good(I think), but my emotions are fucked.
>>712815934
I was a boney 14 year old and I still faught my dad for kicking my sister out.
>>712816714
Your sister is a whore and most likely deserved to be kicked out.
>>712816491
Contact with them was now an extremely rare occurrence, and showed me the rather stark contrast between their success, and mine. Some of them had jobs and girlfriends, some of them only had jobs or only had a girlfriend, they all seemed happy and currently fulfilled. I, as you can guess, was not. I went deeper into roleplaying to try to live vicariously through my characters, and for the most part, it worked. It's here where I met my current best friend, and ex-boyfriend. Funnily enough, when we first met, he had pretended to be a girl, and we dated under those pretenses. Another long-distance relationship. When he worked up the courage to tell me that he was a man, I had freaked out and, after trying to pretend it was fine for a few days, ended it. It's my biggest regret, out of everything, because he and I meshed perfectly. We had the same opinions, the same interests, the same tastes in EVERYTHING. Our discussions were things that I could never dream of having with a woman, because a woman could never understand me as well as a man, especially as well as a man like him. One year of introspection later, and I realized that I was truly a bisexual - I love him, with all my heart, I truly do. And I've been aroused by gay things plenty of times. I just didn't know it at the time, I had been afraid of it. Eventually, I worked up the courage to ask him out again - no fronts this time, I wanted to be his boyfriend, and for him to be mine. But he rejected me, because he's had bad experiences dating exes before. I lost my one shot, all because I was a piece of shit who let some silly shit get in the way of being with the most compatible person I'll ever talk to. Despite my rejection, I pursued him relentlessly. I pursued him when he began an online relationship with a mutual friend of ours, who I grew to hate, and at one point secretly wished death upon. She turned out to be a lying, manipulative, SJW piece of shit. She broke his heart.
Holy shit my lil niglets that was easier than i thought holy hell he just shut the hell up.
Kek was with me
Praise meme magic!!!
>>712817489
I tried to go in for the rebound, god damnit, I tried as hard as I could without directly asking him again. None of it worked, of course. He eventually hooked up with a girl from work, someone he could actually meet with face-to-face almost every day. It was a smart choice, probably better than an asshole like me, who would only be able to see him once in a blue moon. I resented it, but now I've come to accept it finally. I've returned to normal bro behavior, and I realize I probably wasn't being very fair to him in the past. That's my history, folks, and now it's too late for me. I have no friends IRL. Online relationships are, as everyone knows these days, doomed to failure. I have no way to meet anyone to rectify this, and even if I were, I wouldn't have the social skills to pull anything off. These days, I don't have the looks for it either.
>>712816553
Maybe in the next life, we'll be able to do things better.
>>712810739
fucking hell. that one got to me
>>712817420
Really? No defense for your sister in response to me assholish reply? You really are a pussy.
>>712817979
If you're old enough to use a computer, you're not too old to get into shape and live life.
I'm planning on gathering the shambles of my life together and try again. I know I can't go back, but my years of creepiness have allowed my to find people. I'll probably just keep working out a bit more, get a good haircut, go on whitepages and facebook to find her current location, find out where she works and randomly pop up one day and pick up where we left off, last time I saw her, I told her "Fuck you Dana". Probably going to pretend like it never happened.
Failure is not an option.
Why don't you track them down? See what they are up to, maybe have a "chance" encounter with them?
>>712810739
>i punched my dad in the nose
>dad "rapped" the son
faker's gonna fake
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3503406/
>>712818434
No, you don't my sister so it makes no difference.
No harm no foul nigga.
>>712818695
So why did he kick her out then?
>>712818513
I'm moving four states away soon. Within six months. Closer to four or five.
There's no point to trying to get back in touch with the old gang. I never liked them very much anyways, they were just a relief for loneliness, and these days they would only serve to intensify it for me.
Six months, I'll have a new life. I'll try to make a new image of myself. It'll be someplace where I can be somebody instead of a loser for once, and god damnit, I'm not passing that opportunity up.
But knowing my track record, I'll do something to fuck it up. Just a matter of time. Might as well give it a shot before it happens, though.
>>712818933
Just for that I'm not gonna tell you.
And no, it wasn't anything explicit.
Nosey cuck.
>>712819002
What state? Hopefully one day we'll cross paths. We won't know it, but when we do, we will be successful and have what our hearts desire.
I've been holding on to this image since November 25th 2013 at 3:42 am. Finally have a chance to use it.
>>712819311
wut
You are the bitch ass faggot here and you are calling ME a cuck? Are you sure you even know what that word means?
And from that post right there, you are confirmed an annoying douche just trying to lead people on, and will receive no further replies from me. Fuck you, faggot. I hope you have a very shitty day. Get cancer!
>>712819426
Washington. As far north in it as I can go.
My story is one that I've been holding in for a long time, but I figured that with a new life coming soon, I would be free to share it. Anyone who it would embarrass me to see it will be long gone in my past.
>>712810714
I'm going out sleepwalking
Where mute memories start talking
The boss that couldn't help but hurt you
And the pretty thing he made desert you
I'm going out now like a baby
A naive unsatisfiable baby
Grabbing onto whatever's around
For the soaring high or the crushing down
With hidden cracks that don't show
But that constantly just grow
I'm looking for the man that attacked me
While everybody was laughing at me
You beat it in me that part of you
But I'm gonna split us back in two
Tired of living in a cloud
If you're gonna say shit now you'll do it out loud
It's 2:45 in the morning
And I'm putting myself on warning
For waking up in an unknown place
With a recollection you've half erased
Looking for somebody's arms to
Wave away past harms
I'm walking out on center circle
The both of you can just fade to black
I'm walking out on center circle
Been pushed away and I'll never go back
Anyone here on depression meds? I take Prozac.
>>712819977
Nice, I'm down south of you, but I plan on visiting Washington soon. I love to take drives to get rid of the stress. I'm out, have a great life. You will be someone you will be proud of.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-jz54Mf1Ok
>>712820134
currently on escitalopram 10mg/twice a day.
>>712819747
Aight.
I can really only blame yourself for making an assumption in an attempt to upset me and then wanting to know more after i was inevitably not upset by an inaccurate insult on the Internet, then making more assumptions, but aight.
I'm probably gonna forget this little exchange anyhow.
Happy Thanksgiving.
>>712820481
Good god. You are such a fucking faggot.
>>712820708
nows not the time, okay
>>712820373
I stopped taking mine when they started giving me weird dreams followed by intense nightmares.
>>712806404
It was good earlier, really good.
I went out, talked to people I enjoy, and felt genuinely better.
But at night when there isn't anything but me thinking by myself I feel even smaller than before.
I wish I didn't hate myself like this, I wish I had any clue about who I am.
>>712820763
Good god. You are such a fucking faggot.
>>712820802
I'd advice getting switched over to mine, currently having no sideaffects outside of drowsiness. A very clean pill, helps me with anxiety and energy. No nightmares nothing like that, just a couple funky dreams and sleep paralyzes which I have all the time.
>>712806958
gf broke up with me back in August, still haven't gotten over it
>>712820802
Not depression medication, but
I used to take adderall, concerta, etc.
If it's an ADD/ADHD drug that was popular from 1995-2012, I've done it.
That shit was a hellish experience for me. My entire school career was dominated by it, and it was like being permanently stuck on overdrive. I would sit at my desk, staring vacantly at nothing in particular, while my mind raced too quickly to stop and react to most stimulus. I had a thousand thoughts a minute, and the things going on around me were hardly ever one of those thoughts. Time took forever to pass, it's like it was crawling for me. It ruined my social skills because I never knew how to react to social interactions, because my mind had already come up with 50 different actions but I couldn't decide on which one to take.
Shit was a goddamned living nightmare.
>>712820134
I take Wellebutrin XL (300 mg) and it doesn't do shit. I took 3 one day and I still wanted to fucking die
I have no true friends anymore and im pretty sure everyone i know hates me. I have maybe 2 friends i can talk to, but even then i know that hate me. I try to be nice and just be a well rounded person but no matter who i cross paths with i find ways to make them hate me. I would love to start over but I know that even if I do I'll just end up in the same situation. Honestly I've been thinking alot about killing myself lately, ive tried in the past but I guess life had other plans. I quit drinking and it was the only thing keeping me happy or atleast helped me cope. I'm sorry for ranting, I know this is common but nothing I do works. Lifting, reading, talking etc, nothing works, should I just get a 12 Guage and end it all or see what comes my way.... again sorry
>>712820134
Dunno what it was, but I used to take some kind of depression medication, until I realized it was actually giving me really wild mood extremes. Like, I was acting like a psycho bitch out of jealousy with one of my crushes.
>>712820134
Venlafaxine 150mg whoop whoop.
>>712806640
this made mebaww
>>712821431
They arent instant release so how would taking 3 in one day help?
I'm at my first year of university and am incredibly lonely and just feel empty. Absolutely hate it but I'd feel to guilty to quit given how much parents have spent on it so stuck here for next 4 years.
>>712821431
sadly enough, thats not how antidepressants work.
they take months to kick in by teaching your brain how to be happy- or, more accurately, how to make seratonin.
if it was an instant happy pill that you can take any time to get a bit more happy, they would ban it.
>>712822361
What uni? Is there no one you talk or hang out with there?
>>712822010
I decided "fuck it". I knew it wouldn't do anything, and I was in a shit mood plus I was late for work that day and when I was getting them out of the bottle 3 fell in my hand when I meant to get one. I just took the 3 because I didnt have time to put them back.
>>712822504
Uni of Sheffield. There are people I talk to but just don't have the energy to leave my bed anymore pretty much
>>712821473
Why would people hate you? Hate is a strong emotion, people dont usually feel it unless you really fuck them over.
>>712822661
t. normies
autists like you and me hate people for as little of a reason as posting stale memes
>>712822661
I don't know, I just get that feeling from them. I havnt harmed anyone but I feel like they just hate me and just tolerate me.
>>712822791
It's not REAL hate though. If anything this place has made me tolerant. I chat to pedos and people that fuck dogs, it's hard to hate normies after awhile.
>>712807430
responds
>what? were "you" thinking this was gana go some where?
she responds yes, you win
she responds no
>well, i thought it could just be like two friends messing around with each other, dont girls do this all the time?
>>712822980
aight well
i can't really argue with that
fuck you
>>712822921
You're probably catastrophizing (learnt that one in therapy). You're seeing things as far worse than they are.
>>712806404
my gf broke up with me today. She left to go spend thanksgiving with some guy in cali. We got into an argument and she ended it. I gave everything to be with her. Even moved across the country. Today is the worst day of my life.
>>712823200
Cali? Shit, homie, if it weren't illegal I'd offer to help a nigga out and teach that bitch a lesson.
I've been feeling shitty these past few years, like I'm finally realizing that I amount to nothing, and my sole existence is just existent. Nothing else. I'm just here. I don't like that feeling, I want to feel like I amount to something. I decided, fuck it, the Army. Maybe get some praise, get out, get to see the world, you know?
I went to MEPS, got my shipdate, January 15th of 2017. As soon as I did this, family I hadn't hear from for years heard about it and started calling to congratulate me. Old friends wanted to hang out, I loved the feeling, gave me the energy to get out into the real world again. Then I got a job, making damn good money, then I met a woman and we hit it off, and we fucking love eachother, we're so fucking happy. Now I get to leave it all behind for the Army. I signed a 6 year active/ 2 year reserve contract, the MOS I reserved a position for is an Airborne Ranger.
I'm kinda stoked to go, but I'm kinda fucking bummed out. This is an odd feeling. I don't like it.
>>712818933
>wants to have extremely petty arugement that doesn't matter
it's ok bro. I know just the place for you to go
>https://twitter.com/signup
>>712823200
Been there on Saturday.
Not exactly my gf, but a girl i've been aching for the last and a half year.
Keep going and stay Strong anon.
>>712823421
you sold your life to fight wars you know nothing about.
nice one m8
>>712823421
>has qtpiegf
>has good job
>has friends
>has family
>going to be american hero
>going to be seen as a hero for being a monster
>going to get paid to do that
>imsosad
are you fucking retarded anon?
>>712821195
August of last year for me. I don't want to feel like this forever. But it never really goes away.
>>712823421
You have to be physically fit to join the army.
doubt.
Good i had a girl tell me she loved me, it's my first time ever being told that, it felt nice
>>712820899
My bros I could use something, even something simple.
My SO tore me down to bare bones a few nights ago before having to travel for work for a month, and even though it was all true I'm really struggling not to spiral.
You know you're fucked up when you have to google "how to confidence" to attempt to get the materials to try to rebuild yourself.
>>712823934
does moving on help or does the feeling stay forever?
>>712822624
Manchester here and feel exactly the same way.
>>712806404
my life: sleepworkeat4chanfaprepeat
>>712821431
that was my last hope for an efficient medication, and it left me with sores on my palms and feet. lasted 2 weeks. they've healed now.
im sticking to adderall and vyvanse.
>>712823421
>chose the 6 year contract
bad choice anon. when you're three and a half years in, you'll be wishing for that 4 year contract. good luck tho.
>>712824192
Been Single since 2013, all I can say is that moving on CAN help. But it really depends on the length of your relationship and your surroundings.
>>712810383
>>712810490
>Anonymous 11/23/16(Wed)23:28:57 No.71281
>>712823421
If I've learned anything, it's that existence itself amounts to nothing.
All matter and energy was released from a singularity containing all of the universe's components in an event known as the big bang. Everything that ever is, ever was, and ever will be has been predetermined by that one, humongous, ridiculous event. Matter and energy interact with each other according to physics, and even humans operate entirely on the interaction of matter and energy. Your very thoughts and behavior was ALWAYS going to be as it is. NOTHING you do can change that. Nothing ANYONE does can change that. It's all just reactions, a massive chain of reactions that can be traced back to that one event.
And then, there's the fact that eventually, even the universe itself will come to an end. Humanity, nor any other species in the entire universe, will survive this event. Everything we have built, and everything we have done, will ultimately be pointless thanks to entropy, or a big snap back into the singularity, or whatever the most likely event is.
Take solace in these facts. Take freedom in them. You did not make a mistake - the universe forced you to make a mistake. And that mistake never mattered to begin with! Live your life with absolute freedom, knowing that both autonomy and meaning are nonexistent. Make every moment one filled with the things that make you happy, and fuck the things that don't. The only thing that truly matters, to any of us, is the euphoria of the now.
>>712824325
Me too except the fapping part. 8 days now.
>>712806404
>"This is the shittiest goddamn water I ever drank in my entire fucking li-"
>>712824556
honestly i needed that anon
>>712824564
I managed five days no fap, maybe 20 years ago. It was a hell. I HAVE to fap everyday, at least once, otherwise I can't sleep.
>people always say life doesn't get better
>believed them
>be 15
>dad died
>My only father died and i'll never get another moment with him
>thought about killing myself a couple of times
>never did it because i kept having this nightmare where i killed myself and my mom found me and killed herself too
>am 18 now
>dating a girl
>am happy
>have a wonderful dog
I used to be that kid that would do stupid shit and get in trouble for other's entertainment too, it was a wild road but i'm happy where i landed and if i could change it i wouldn't.
>>712818930
What a kick in the dick
>>712808397
My entire left arm is covered in scars from years past. I haven't done it in a while. It ended when I tried to end it for good, grabbed whatever pills I could find, chugged, and started cutting over and over in the tub. My mom ended up stopping by, I broke down in her arms. I couldn't talk or move and she took me into a psych ward, they patched me up and gave me charcoal. I had to stay there for a while. It's pointless anon. You're still going to feel empty and sad. You'll just have blood to clean up after.
>>712824192
I couldn't tell you anon. Every time I've tried i just end up realizing I don't like the girls I'm having sex with at all. Or at least not as much as they like me. And I hate myself even more. The girls come and go. After a few of the same I just keep to myself now. I didn't know I could be this disconnected from people. Just goes to show you, if you think it's bad now. Just wait.
>>712824385
I'm glad that happened for you anon. God I wish it worked for me. They were really nice people.
>>712824899
It's gotten too depressing for me. I havent had sex in so long I just feel like a fucking loser afterwards.
>>712808397
Used to self harm big time. Now have emo scars forever. Yay.
>>712812937
this touched my soul... i have the same problem .. but i have a gf and she always tells me to get a job or she'll leave me now i can't get a job and i am afraid to lose my gf ... i don't even want a job that pays good i want a job that makes me some kind of happy
>>712823888
I chose the Army to feel like I was worth something. Then, because of that, I realized fuck it, idc, I'm happy now. Now I get to leave all that happiness behind.
>>712824012
I speak the truth, anon.
>pic related.
>>712824384
MEPS guy swindled me into it. I was being a depressed little faggot throughout the whole process. Didn't care what I chose and what outcome it had, just as long as I got in.
>>712824556
That's beautiful, anon, thank you for that.
>>712825141
I know the feeling. The instant comedown after the spunk is on my desk, the shame, the shemale vids on my laptop, the sock from the laundry basket to clean the mess. This is my sex life for the last few years, still can't stop it.
>>712825685
>the shemale vids on my laptop
Well I'm not at that point yet but the rest yeah.
>>712825651
>>712823421
>Airborne Ranger
thats actually pretty dope, enjoy dying
>>712820134
even williams
>>712825651
And this, my dears, is what we used to call an OWNED
>>712810749
It hurts.
>>712820134
i started snorting 40mg of dexmethylphenidate hcl daily.
removed all my sadness. i feel like god.
>>712808397
I stopped cutting but started back up again, this time alot worse then before. Currently on anti depressants. Wouldn't advice it to be honest but it does help me.
>attempted suicide twice.
>>712807616
i feel your feels coming straight from the feelth plane of existence of the feel dimension
Show scars cutfags
>>712826134
lol xD
>>712824192
It does.
As >>712824385 said, the stuff you do, the way you spend time trying to get over it, in-between the breakup and finally being able to look back at it not with longing but just a fondness that it happen can lengthen the time it takes, and make the time it takes worse. It's always worth it when it happens.
You'll always miss major relationships though, or at least for a long time (only been six years since my first one), but eventually it's not a missing that hurts or that you dwell on. Just nostalgia when, once in a while, you remember a nice date you went on for a minute and get back to the present.
What was the hotel name that ruined you Anon? The one that you stare at the ceiling, 3 in the morning, thinking if you should hate her or love her. Wanting her badly, but not knowing if you'd take her back even if you could, or if you'd fuck it up. The one that probably doesn't think about you but maybe once in a great while. While you try your hardest to not think of her, but can't go a day without thinking of. The name that can spike your heart rate and make it plummet at the same time. Make you choke up in an instant. The one that you may never see again, or see every day and never have.
What's the name Anon?
>>712826445
Mom
>>712825651
i feel bad for you leaving will put all at risk after getting your shit together.
>>712816191
Asshole.
>>712825823
Soon, anon. Soon.
>>712826445
Lance
>>712826445
Hillary
>>712826445
Elijah
Maybe it's just the idea of him, of being with someone so kind and so positive, but I both avoid him and try to put myself in his path.
He is a sweetness I have never known, and will likely never know again.
Bad, but in a good way, I guess.
>pic related
>>712826445
sabrina
god if there's ever been a time to die, its now.
>>712826445
E'lyssia.
It comes from the word Elysium, a state of pure bliss. Heaven.
Kind of ironic isn't it.
>>712814066
Letting her initiate the conversation is fucking tough. I'm going through it right now and it's mental tourture.
>>712806958
ill send you some good vibes dude
>>712814066
Ya bro.. i had one I fell hard for saids she loves me, month later she 180s and wants what was gonna be her exhusband. I did everything to make her life easier when I could, she saids she was happy and loved me. But she missed him when she was with me.
I miss what I thought I had and was going to keep having. This girl kept me so high and now I go through withdrawels over something I cant have.
And even after that Im upset cause I know shes gonna get mistreated and I warned her but shes commited on this mistake.
I wish I didnt care
>>712827417
Hopefully it goes well, anon. Was in a similar relationship, but we were both depressed as shit instead of just one side. It was hard, ending was hard too, but I'm past it.
>>712827488
Dubs for the feels.
I just recently found out my ex jumped on her "friends" dick the day after we broke up.
"oh all my friends are guys. its hard for me to be friends with girls"
Thats because youre a semen demon bitch
Anyone wanna hear my feels story that I tell from time to time. Will drop it if interest is shown. Some of you may remember it.
>>712815689
Same here bro mine had an emotionally abusive and went back
>>712827943
fire away anon
>>712824902
>>712806404
>puts cap on bottle
>better not make a mess
>>712821195
Are you me?
>hit it off gud
>good god... This is the fourth time we go out
>I ask her out...
>winrar.exe
>after seven months... Everything goes quiet
>she's suddenly too busy
>bullshit.gif
>make my assumptions and decide I want to end it
>voice suggests I do it some other time
>never do
>a month later
>get a text
>"Hey anon... I've been thinking..."
>fuckfuckfuck.avi
>"This relationship isn't working out..."
>Bitch, we just had a date not too long ago and you enjoyed it, what the fuck?!
>send her a picture of a sinking ship
>reply with some shitty joke about how the relationship and the sinking ship
>take a long deep breath
>it's fucking over
>baww when I hear about her from friends or see her every now and then (small town)
>never deleted her number or pictures. It didnt help before.
>go to these threads with her name plaguing my thoughts
>>712828226
what a gentleman
>>712824902
Good stuff friend!
>>712828071
Will start to write... Hope people actually listen this time...
>>712806640
Just to let everyone know the girl texting the guy was a fucken psycho so he told all his friends and her friends to say he died so she would leave him alone, it just made it worse
>>712823200
>>712823339
From Cali and bored. If i could, would gladly do so and help you :3
>>712828383
i will listen
You know what makes me sad
It doesn't matter who I'm with, I'll always be alone inside my head
>>712821353
I live that without my meds cant focus well mind runs on and on
>>712806404
Friendly with a lot of people, but don't really have many actual friends.
>>712827868
Sorry to hear that man least you can blow it off.. I just wish I was mad at her
>>712806640
second pic
every time i post my story nobody reads it .. or they don't feel the need to answer me
this is fucking degrading
>>712829080
post it, and if you already did, which one was it.
ill talk to you, faggot. ill listen.
>>712829080
m8 i already said id listen
>>712807851
That's me pretty much.
>hey anon what's up? You seem so depressed.
>Nothing, I'm just tired.
>I get 9 hours of sleep every day
Okay /b/ I really need some help from you guys.
>early 20's
>living in dead end town
>recently unemployed
>in process of trying to get another job
>still live with parents
>drifted away from friends
>pretty lonely
>broke as fuck
>want to return to education
>but also want to just run away
>thought of staying here another few years makes me want to kill myself
I'm hoping to just save up about a grand and just hit the road. I can always return to education in a couple years time if I'm settled.
Thoughts? I feel like I'm wasting my youth staying here.
>>712806640
What a crazy bitch.
I'm starting to realize everything I do in my life towards progress and happiness means nothing
>in elementary school I wanted to grow up and do whatever I wanted
>middle school, once you're in high school things will fall in place and you'll be set
>high school, you can go on to college and do whatever you want
>graduation, the world is your oyster
>work part time at a restaurant, I can make my own money
>spend money on rent and stuff, work to live
>find a girl I like, and she likes me
>think "yeah this is it, life is all about love"
>few years later and we will maybe talk a few sentences to each other a day
>move back in with parents
>ease up on spending, start saving money
>quit job because the little I feel at work is sadness
>live off parent's kindness, gf's little understanding of my emotional hollowness, and a rainy day fund
>just bought a 2ds and the new pokemon the other day, just to see if it could make me happy, and it did for about the rest of the day
>mother wants to know if I've been thinking about going to college yet
>don't have the heart to say when I think of my future all I imagine is more pointless "progression" until death
>so little interests me I contemplate suicide on a weekly basis
>I was at a party the other day and someone asked me "so what do you do for fun"
>I had to think long and hard, the only thing I came up with was "I spend time on the internet, some pc gaming"
I'm at a loss and can't see a point to going forward
>>712828655
OKAY!
pt 1.
>Be me
>Be around 16 at the time
>Sophomore in HS
>Betaasfuck.avi
>Was known throughout my school as that smart kid that everybody came to for help
>Naturally leading to them taking advantage of me
>True friends were few and far between
>Started developing issues with trust and social skills because I was that far removed
>Recently found old notebook whereupon I had written "I feel like as human-like android sent to Earth to gather information about humanity."
>Or something like that
>Parents wanted to get me on meds but I denied them every time they suggested it
>Anti-depressants are poisonous so this is when I started to smoke weed
>Shit got better for a while but didn't quite 100% drown out my social alienation
>To make matters worse my HS was small so making new friends was difficult when everybody kinda already knew each other
>But then there was her
>I think you all know where this is going but hear me out
cont.
>>712829336
Either sleep too much. Or barely at all. No in between for me.
>>712829520
Just write the fucking story out. We're trying to help and give you advice, or just listen at least. This isn't going to become a fucking meme, ditch the greentext, mate.
>>712829385
whatever keeps you from killing yourself dude, if driving until you don't recognize anything in a hundred miles keeps you sane then go for it
Shit. My mom is a nigger
>>712812098
>>712820134
Bupropion (Wellbutrin)
You're all a bunch of sad losers. Mass suicide is a good option
>>712829631
Admit it, becoming a 4chan meme would be awesome...
>>712822361
I'm in the same boat here m8. I think I might rush a frat next semester just to have friends.
>>712829385
Get out man. Waited till like 24 I moved to a not so big area but the rents cheap I have good internet and building a career. Then im gonna take my skills and get a job closer to civilization but still have decent rent price..
>>712829905
youre right
>>712829924
This isn't meme worthy unless you count cringe screen cap
>>712829924
write the story dude
>>712829487
that is the fucking problem with our society everybody tells you "you can be everything you can do what ever you want"
but i want to be happy
with no guidelines its hard to find the right way
>>712822361
I dropped out after my first year of university. I was miserable all the time and had no friends. Shit sucked. Now I'm stuck with being a leech in my parents house for the time being. Do better than me anon.
>>712829703
>>712830019
Cheers m8s, I think I have to bail just for my own sanity.
>>712829487
Try to spend more time with your girl, work stuff out with her. If nothings there and your just putting on a show stop wasting both of your guys time if your not able to take her places and have a good time somethings wrong
>>712806404
have a gf, can only see her once like every other week cause of parents, got drunk and chilled with girl for a while, nothing happend but it was painfully fun
>>712820134
On 40mg of Prozac a day. It hasn't done shit.
>>712830134
best of luck anon, drive safe and all that jazz
So /b/, I'm going to see a therapist soon, to finally try and sort out my depression. This is my first time going to one, what should i expect?
My dreams are so nice. They have plots, you know. My dreams usually end up feeling like an interactive movie, or an immersive book. They're so god damn interesting that I want to keep dreeming to see more, almost every time. Even the nightmares end up really fucking entertaining for me.
Why can't I just sleep forever? The world of dreams, that would be my eternal bliss.
>>712830402
the conversation will go anyway you direct it, a lot of listening on their end.
>>712822361
Try joing a frat or some other group that interest you. Honestly the only reason i keep going back to school each year
>>712830402
it depends doctor to doctor, there's a sort of awkward introduction, after that they usually jump into asking about your mental health and then they ask you what you'd like to work on, how your life is, what your dream vision of you is, ultimately the first session is just a base work, nothing to stress out about, and in all my situations the doctor is okay if you're reluctant to talk about your health they will try but not force an answer>>712830567
you will do most of the talking
>>712830189
she's out of state now, went to college so it's a real pain to go and visit, and whenever I'd like to she seems to be busy
>>712830073
pic related
>>712809946
Bruh...You made me tear up...
Now I want to go hug my girlfriend and tell her I love her.
>>712810739
okay i almost cried
>>712820134
Zoloft. I did ECT, it didn't work as I'd hoped. Oh well.
>>712808397
most prominent scars on my arm are shown, however most of my cuts are on my thighs, cutter friend told me it's a lot easier to hide those scars so that's that, it was a much bigger problem in highschool but I've lost the urge to mask emotional pain thanks to drugs and therapy, I have loose razors in my bedroom but they are used very infrequently (I cut, 2 times this year)
>>712806640
I still text my friend from time to time. The last thing I said to her was please don't leave me.. still tears me up inside thinking her
>>712810749
Oneitis is fuckin hell
>>712812669
There is no such thing as alt right, it's Jews vs the world not just whites
>>712810714
here's to 2 AM anons, you beautiful bastards
>>712822361
I have been there anon, i moved to NZ when i was 18 and my first semster sucked dick, boring roommates who wouldnt do anything and no one in my classes i could connect with. Was at the end of my final exam a couple guys were recruiting people for some drinks, i originally said no, went back to my room, sat there for 3 minutes then went back to see if i could find them, lucky for me the guy they were waiting for never showed so they were still there. So we all went out to town. The next semster was easily the best of my life.
its been over 3 years now and we are all great friends and have been off/on roommates. Drink and do stuff every weekend or so.
I was given a chance i almost turned down. If you get any chance anon you fucking take it. God only knows what i would have done with out that.
>>712822624
Fucking Sheffield, that was the one all my friends went to.
>>712824243
And i left Manchester to go to NZ. Its a small world
>>712806404
Accepting I'm just a shitty person
>>712810996
who eats ice cream on a plate?
>>712807833
Oh christ the feels
first hand pro tip:
don't call the VA suicide hotline after nine.
they wont pick up on the first ring
they'll cut you off at least 3 times
they won't care even if they do pick up
welcome to america
>>712811132
This... Just...This...
A couple weeks ago I snapped and was convinced I was gunna kill myself. I sat in my car for a few hours and eventually wrapped my belt around my neck a few times. I felt the pressure in my hand strengthen and I started kicking uncontrollably. Just as soon as I was seeing spots the belt unravelled just the slightest and I regained better airflow. It was the closest I've come to killing myself and I didn't have enough courage to initiate it again. It was honestly overwhelmingly terrifying, kicking in desperation of oxygen was surreal.
I know you're out there, and I'm waiting for you.
When I find you, we can cuddle and we can climb mountains to watch the sun rise. We can go to underground punk shows and get wasted, and make some fucking terrible music but be proud of it anyway. We can travel all around and go anywhere we can find a one way ticket to, like free spirits; and we can write and read, and visit antique shops and comic book stores, and get stupid high.
There will be love in my eyes and flowers in my hair, and I promise you, I'll be waiting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZs6bISLyPM
During the last two months that I was studying abroad, I began a relationship with a girl who was also an international student. She had to leave her long-time date at home because of the problems that distance relationships involve although she still has strong feelings for him. We had the time of our lives: kissing, cuddling, having sex and expressing our feelings. I had to come back home but we stll keep in touch and she even tells me that she still loves me. The thing is that I am going back for graduation in two months (she is still in the city we met) and I will see her. However today she told me that my dates coincide with the dates of this other guy cos he is also going to see her . I dont know what to expect and this gets me tense and sad cos I am a pessimistic guy
>>712833171
head*
Why did i write hand, idk.
Also, had bruises around neck as a result.
>>712810996
hahahaha look at that fucken spastic legit the walking dead right there aahahah
>>712829520
Continue pls anon
>>712833171
I love you anon.
>>712818930
hits me hard
>>712828226
kek, this gave me a smirk tanks anon
Anyone else ever get that realization that our very existence in general is pointless? That it just ends and everything we've gone through, every memory made, every moment we've treasured is lost to an abyss of nothingness?
>>712836132
dont cry mc ride, if you cry, I'll cry
>>712836249
No that's a brand new idea. You should write a book. Are you a philosopher?
>>712831692
I like you
>>712833181
Who the fuck are you?!
>>712836850
fuck you
>>712836723
top kek
>>712829057 MODS MODS THIS GUYS WHO FAKED HIS DEATH IS 17 fucking kill yourself
>>712837040
Wait... what?
Ooh, okay.
>>712836723
>>712836850
>>712837196
When the troll fag sees the thread is dying out
>>712837645
>>712837350
Meant to tag that one
>>712806404
Pretty shit, had to call the cops on my father, thinking about just moving out. Don't really want to leave my mother alone with that shit, and also don't really have the money to do school if I move out. I could stay at my grandparents and afford school, but the drive would probably eat away at all of my money. Also not sure how long they'd let me live there.
Would a .25 round from the mouth to the brain kill me? Or should i try to get my hands on the 9m? Trying to disappear after thanksgiving.
>>712810648
>>712838033
Anon, I'm pretty sure anything going through your brain would kill you
>>712838033
It's likely to do the job but it'd be better if you didn't do it
Don't you have any reason to live whatsoever?
>>712838033
I always figured jumping from somewhere super high would be the best. They say that most of the people that survive jumping down the golden gate bridge realised they regretted it instantly. So at leasts during the fall you will feel more alive than ever before
I'm dreading today because I have salty libs in my family.
I just eant to eat my turkey and have a beer.
>>712838143
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anatoli_Bugorski
You so sure?
>>712838280
Just disown them. All commies must be ostracized and excluded.
>>712838186
After years of guilt brought on by hurting my family, and the only person ive sincerely loved moving on from me, and everyone telling me it gets better, i still cant find a job after looking for months. im broke. Im all out of weed and this pistol seems to be my exit. I just want her to tell me herself theres no chance and then ill go from there.
>>712838033
I wouldn't chance it. Yea most any size round you drive point blank into your head is not going to be good in terms of survivability, but the human body is a stubbornly resilient thing. Anything under 9mm runs the risk of just rendering you retarded/ crippled. Shotgun or a .357 or .44 is ideal, but i dont know never tried it
>>712838192
Considered it. theres not many hugh buildings though, so a jump from a bridge to concrete might not be high enough.
GF is off the pill since 3 months, but changed her mind and just told me she don't and never will want another baby. (She has one already, but not with me, I'm raising the child) I love them both but I think I'll leave, cause I feel the need to have my own child. Feeling like total crap and asshole.
>>712838143
Be careful with that...
>>712838394
considered the shotgun. But theres no way for me to lug it back on the train without the family noticing. Besides, im trying to make the mess small for my roommates.
>>712824385
>Been Single since 2013
I haven't even tried to be in a relationship since 2002...
>>712838453
Actually that's gruesome for whoever finds you.
>Go to a hospital with a big ass knife
>find an empty room
>call 911, tell them what you're gonna do and what room
>jam that shit straight into your neck
>>'712838547
Or you could just not kill yourself
>>712838382
I know what you're talking about. I let my best friend and girlfriend of 3 years kill herself and all I've felt is guilt and hatred for myself since, I'm broke as hell, and going nowhere but suicide isn't the answer Anon. I've thought about it so many times and the shitty situation you leave behind outweighs any suffering. Trust me, it's not worth it.
>>712838635
Itd probably be the wife of my roommate since he works and she stays home. That ideas brutal, but looking to go out comfortably with all my thoughts intact. Ive even considered going to her doorstep and doing it right in front of her, but thats not who i am.
>>712838894
And im trying to reduce that by cutting ties. with family, friends and everything. Just to feel her warmth again would convince me. But all i can think is that once i pull the trigger, im going to waje up and she'll be sleeping by my side.
>>712838855
or i could? Itd be easier and quicker. Definitely less painful.
>>712839124
That's not what will happen though Anon. Everything ends then. There is nothingness. And cutting ties doesn't help. Regardless of how much you try it will still leave a shitstorm of emotions to all those who even remotely cared about you.
In addition, if you love her so much, why would you want to hurt her so much by taking your own life? Believe it or not it will fuck her up.
>>712839430
Theyve all told me this. When i told her that i was going to go jump off into the freeway, she broke down, and told me shed never be able to move on if i did that. But shes already talking to other people. Sleeping around. I love her. And i dont want to keep thinking like this.
