Waifu/Husbando claiming thread.
Rules:
>Claim your Waifu/Husbando
>No claiming Waifus/Husbandos that have already been claimed
>Only one claim per anon
>No stealing
>No sexualised content
>No RP/ERP of any kind
>Discussion is welcomed
>If you're posting images you're not lurking
>3D is always trash
>Joining means a reserved place in hell
>Most importantly, have fun!
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ztCA4bxNrQ
Avatarfags get out of my thread
>>712708183
ey b0ss
Why is she so perfect bros
>look mom I did it again
Kek, nice one mod
>>712707797
Apologies we couldn't talk Nui, but I am very tired. I hope we have an opportunity for conversation tomorrow.
Have a fantastic night!
Were we just bamboozled?
Also hello again everyone
>no life
>Juvia claimed
>>712708311
Are you trying to be humorous?
Well you aren't
Wew lad
>>712708100
she still has dog eyebrows
read the filename mai
People who post their waifu's lewds are heretics
>>712707898 (Konata)
I can't really tell when you jest then.
>>712708410
It's fine, we should be able to do so soon enough.
>>712708692
I never jest!
I'm always serious :o
>>712708446
>complimentary (you)
>>712708443
I don't know any artists either other than myself but i'm lazy and have work...
>>712708692
is it said that often? then my 25% calculation may be wrong.
Should I write part 5?
![[insecurity intensifies].png](https://i.imgur.com/lVi1BWR.png "[insecurity intensifies].png")
>>712708824
http://youtu.be/-1yzoiUIGGs
>>712708100
Always. Nobody ever picks mine. Easiest claim. Somehow my waifu isn't a whore.
>>712708739
Now that i can that is a jest!
>>712708824
I see it said in most of the threads i see, it's really impossible to tell, unless we were to look in archives or something.
>>712709581
Its because no one wants that piece of garbage
>>712709605
that I that too :o
how was your day?
>>712709605
that'd be fun but also some work to keep track of
712709570
you only get 1, the others you have to earn
>>712709675
He says to someone who wants it therefor invalidating his statement. Git Gud scrub lol.
Alrighty /waifu/ I'm rather tired so it's off to bed for Juvia
>>712708824
I will wait as long as it takes
I have no problem with waiting, i have no life remember?
Whenever you can get around to it
>>712710041
goodnight
>>712710041
ironically I am the impatient one. which should actually drive me to do it...but it doesn't. eh I may do it eventually...
>>712710011
Was that supposed to be funny?
Its not.
Also its implied that only that one person wants it.
Now if you can um off yourself that would be pretty great
>>712709778
Whoops, I suppose i'm a bit distracted.
It was quiet so that's nice, just listening to music now.
>>712710000
>Checked
Eh, it's not too important anyway i suppose.
>>712710351
>posts a pony
Reported
Also sage goes in all fields
>>712710574
whatcha listening to? :o
Kurome <3
QOTT: first time ever using the internet?
for me it was in 2012 when my family saved up for a computer together :o
things are expensive in mexico
>>712710000
HILARIOUS AND ORIGINAL
IS THE LITTLE WEEB BUTTHURT
YOU NEED SOME BIORE
http://youtu.be/-1yzoiUIGGs
>>712710734
She gets fucked by the cookie monster
>he's a janitor
>on the internet
>on an anime imageboard
>he does it for free
>he takes his "job" very seriously
>he does it because it is the only amount of power & control he will ever have in his pathetic life
>he deletes threads he doesn't like because whenever he gets upset he has an asthma attack
>he deletes threads he doesn't like because they interfere with the large backlog of little girl chinese cartoons he still has to watch
>he will never have a real job
>he will never move out of his parent's house
>he will never be at a healthy weight
>he will never know how to cook anything besides a hot pocket
>he will never have a girlfriend
>he will never have any friends
Thanks for reminding me why I don't disable adblock on this website mods.
>>712710574
true i just didn't want you thinking I said it too often.
>>712710761
I think 1997, we got dialup and had to deal with this, and god forbid someone had to use the phone.
>>712710734
welcome to /waifu/
>>712710822
I like the irony here so you get one this time.
>>712710313
"Off yourself because you uniquely like something."
Your density is biblical bruh! Good luck in life.
>>712711005
jesus I didn't even know it existed that early :o
everyone in our neighborhood got internet in around 2005
>>712710875
where did this meme come from?
>>712710934
If he wasn't autistic and banned for a real reason I'd be fine with it
"Circlejerk thread" isn't a fucking reason
>>712710761
2007 :o
Claimed.
>>712711005
forgot youtube link
https://youtu.be/D1UY7eDRXrs
>>712711115
it was the prime age of internet tbh
>>712711005
Please end your life.
No one loves you.
>>712711100
>lel im soooo unique im a speshiul snoflake omg did he tell me to kys that basyard >n<
http://youtu.be/SKuE5-pEo2Y
>>712711314
I was like 5 :o
>>712711327
that sounds fun, what kind of websites were there?
I awaken from a terrible nightmare around 8pm, the usual hour in which my slumber comes to a halt, albeit somewhat earlier. I obviously have a productive time ahead of me, being up at this hour. I turn myself over and kiss my Waifu pillow, landing my lips on a spot deprived of my dried-up ejaculate. As per usual, I begin to whine and scream for my mother. I require a nurtrituous meal of Tyson brand frozen chicken nuggets and Mountain Dew, and based on the smell emanating from my size 42 adult diaper, I will also need a change. I use what little energy I have to push my buzz lightyear bedsheets off, and roll myself out of bed, crushing several piss bottles in the process. Luckily, I can kill two birds with one stone by taking my biweekly shower tonight, so I can wash off the piss and also gain 10 big boy points from mommy. I waddle over to the bulletin board, and a smirk begins to form on my face as I realize I have acquired 100 big boy points, enough for a new anime body pillow. I plop 320 pound ass on to my computer chair, causing the shit in my adult diaper to spill out on the basement floor beneath me. I brush the roaches off of my LED lit mechanical keyboard and load up 4chan. As soon as I load up the latest "waitu claiming thread", mother walks down to the basement
Part 1
>>712710673
As of right now this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kus8pXV99CY
>>712710761
I don't actually remember, 2007 perhaps.
>>712711005
Alrighty, well glad to hear you say that then!
It's safe to assume it's multiple people as it gets said in most of the active threads and i know you need sleep.
>>712711583
She strategically maneuvers herself through the maze of piss bottles and shit jugs until she makes it to my desk. I am her precious son, earning so many big boy points I could be on the NASDAQ. She bows before me and presents tonights meal. It isn't what I was expecting, on the tray sits a great value paper plate, adorned with Tostitos Pizza rolls and a red solo cup of Dr. Pepper. Anger swells within me, causing my face to turn red. I twist my cheeto stained neckbeard hair and ponder what her consequence will be for this disappointment. I decide to drop it, as the meal will suffice. I brush a group of roaches off of my monitor and browse the latest Waifu claiming thread, and remind her to leave her credit card so I can order another body pillow to spray my seed upon. I turn around and see her grabbing my beloved Miku pillow, I become overwhelmed with rage, I stand up from my computer chair and begin to approach her. Suddenly, I trip over 2 liter of Mountain Dew that I filled with piss last year, and my fat, unshowered body crashes into the basement floor beneath me. It seemed to happen in slow motion. I hear the "crunch" roaches crushed under my man boobs. I happened to fall in a particular spot where I keep most of my shit jugs and piss bottles. I am completely soaked in old piss and shit
Pt 2
>>712711625
I gaze down upon my body. I am completely naked expect for my adult diaper, the content of which has been emptied onto my thighs and back. My stomach extends forward so much I cannot see my feet, and my man tits so far I can barely see my stomach. I see the layer of shit, piss, and dead roaches as armor, and imagine myself as a hero in one of my favorite animes. I am trying to save my princess, my Miku body pillow mother is trying to capture. I must save her, she is my only instrument to combat my eternal virginity. I charge at mother, and collide with her, sending her crumbling down onto my mattress. She vomits immediately, because she knows she's lying upon millions of her unborn grand children, in the form of my semen absorbed into my buzz lightyear bedsheets. I lay on top of her, burying her face between my shit-covered man breasts. I pull myself away, and laugh as notice some of the dead roaches have stuck to the shit on her face. I reclaim my previous body pillow and kiss her up and down. I then proceed to expose my tiny Phallus and masturbate onto her, as a display of my power should her or my mother rebel against me once more
Pt 3
>>712711583
>>712711625
https://youtu.be/LuKzt7p-MnM
http://youtu.be/-1yzoiUIGGs
>>712711669
Mother retreats upstairs. I squint my eyes and hiss at the sliver of light creeping in from the basement door. I haven't been to the other parts of the house since last Christmas, when mom told me I had to socialize with the family or get my computer taken away. I imagine my house as a video game map, and think the rest of my house as The Unknown Lands. I also like to imagine my room a castle. I haven't been outside since I was 16, which was about 6 years ago. I live in complete darkness, except for my computer screen, which is always displaying the current Waifu claiming thread. Thinking of last Christmas makes me sweat and feel anxious, I never want to leave my castle. I remember walking up the steps. And trying to adjust my eyes to light. Mother made me wear a red Christmas sweater and some sweat pants. I walked into the living room where my normie family members were talking and doing things on their iPhones. I tried to convince them that computers are superior technology and only normies use phones, but they wouldn't listen. My little cousin asked my why I had so many stains on my sweat pants, and I realized these were the ones I masturbated on before mommy bough my first body pillow. I waddled back down to my castle and haven't left since.
Pt 4
>>712711354
Lol. I am as average as they come bro. I realized that long ago back in 2004 when I found this site.
Question is, why u trying to edge me out? At least give me a reach around bro edging this hard is making my stomach hurt.
THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED 5TH INSTALLMENT
I despise my family of normies, in fact I hate everyone who isn't part of the Waifu community. The only person free of my hatred is my mother. She's taken care of me for the past 22 years, and supplies me with food and diaper changes. It is now 10 pm, and I'm still soaked in my own shit and piss. Whatever, I've smelled worse than this before. I sit down at me desk, brush some roaches away from my mousepad, and refresh the current Waifu thread. Just as i begin to select my image of Miku to claim, I feel something move between my ankles. I see a big rat crawling beneath me. This will make an exquisite gift for my Waifu body pillow. I grab him by the tail, and suffocate him between my man breasts. I then throw him on to my bed, to appease Miku. I can hear mother yelling upstairs, in between sobs and crying. Probably on her normie iPhone talking to one of her newfag friends about me. All of this excitement makes my bowels loose, so I grab the nearest empty 2 liter of soda, remove my size 42 adult diaper, and like my asshole up with the opening. I squeeze out enough pizza roll liquid shit to fill up 1/4 of the container. I place it next to a pile of dead roaches and look back at my computer screen
Pt 5
![Syndra [306].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/I0SBJIg.jpg "Syndra [306].jpg")
>>712711605
this was a fun battle
the theme scared me ;-;
>>712711748
I turned 29 last month :o
>>712711478
Imagine if you will if it was everyone's first time on the internet at once. that is the best way i could describe it. yahoo messenger was popular as hell and you could always get girls to show you their tits and shit. it was awesome as a kid. but there were dangers like pedobears and the like. also tons of porn sites oh and myspace instead of facebook and myspace was better. >>712711605
wait are you glad to hear me say post lewds or that i don't say it often?
>>712711739
>back in 2004 when i found this site
[x] Doubt
>>712712079
15 year old athiest who thinks filthy frank is funny, you'll look back on this phase in your life and cringe
>>712711814
Was this supposed to be funny?
You realise you're an unfunny faggot right?
>>712712182
http://youtu.be/-1yzoiUIGGs
>>712711865
Morning Syndra<3
>>712710616
Saying you've reported someone is against the rules
>:^)
>>712711926
that doesn't make sense
>>712712040
I've never heard of myspace :o
and wow that sounds awesome
how old is 4chan then?
>>712712260
It's 12am
>>712712397
maybe we should stop making sense :o
and start making love ^-^
>>712712480
why though
>>712712410
4chan is thirteen as of october 1st 2016
>>712711186
Who got banned?
>>712712410
2003 iirc
>>712712397
hello Eli lovely
>>712711926
I think White and White 2 were the best games in the series.
It's fitting for someone like Ghetsis though.
>>712712040
I mean i'm glad you wish for me not to think of you like that.
Not sure why you would assume the first part, though you might just be a bit tired perhaps.
>>712712771
Yep, before that it was all contained on Something Awful.
>>712712502
>>712712502
>>712712502
>>712711005
Fucking hell, I don't miss those times at all. I kept on using those AOL free CDs until NetZero came along. We had crappy Southwestern Bell dialup when I first got internet access. 1998 for me.
>>712712864
those are my favorite too
sun and moon is pretty boring :(
>>712712771
wow I was like 8 :o
>>712712664
sex is fun! ^-^
>>712713003
>>712712864
maybe you enjoy being desired in a lustful manner? but it is also 11 pm
>>712713056
how's it going
>>712713080
>southwestern bell
my nigga
>>712713105
i would have been 12
>>712713105
I'm sure it is
>>712713459
I'm tired
>>712713459
so you're 35? :o
>>712713493
let's do it?
>>712710875
Shut it.
>>712711005
Thanks, babe. I'm mostly here to ship with Akame.
>>712713105
-n-
>>712713841
alex :o
>>712713766
Theres a pic of Shiro (Deadman Wonderland) and Kurome (Akame ga Kiru) gettung gangbanged by a bunch of cookie monsters
>>712713685
m8 do the math again your off a bit
>>712713766
>babe
*blushes*
also is akame ga kill any good in terms of anime?
>>712713493
you should probably go to sleep though i would miss your pics
>>712710761
Lmao I don't even remember, it was many many years ago. I'm 28 now and was like 10 the first time I ever used it. It was probably to play a game or look up cheat codes for a game
>>712713870
Don't go saying my name all willy-nilly.
>>712710934
I don't know but he sounds like a pretty chilled guy.
>>712713897
I was told no one will know.
Find it and bring it to me at once.
>>712713960
I thought it was good, but I think everything is good.
>
Here's a gif.
>>712713685
I'm good
>>712713960
I will soon
>>712710934
Mai
I'm not saying every virgin is a Waifu claimer, but every Waifu claimer is a virgin
>>712713960
but I'm 29 :o
>>712714007
wow you're old af
>>712714010
I didn't know that was your real name, just a meme u.u
>>712714131
I bet you're good in bed too
>>712713105
Is it as bland and easy as X and Y?
that's a shame, guess they were a bit overhyped.
>>712713459
I don't see how "post lewds" connects to that to be fair.
>>712714292
You're 29, saying a cartoon character is good in bed. Wtf man
>>712714117
I may watch it next then
>>712714131
me too tbh
>>712714171
the fact that i'm married just wrecks your claim
>>712714166
Akari
>>712714310
>some one wishes to see you in a lewd manner for their own pleasure
>>712714292
what would make you think that
>>712714370
good
>>712712684
My desktop did
>>712714292
How'd you know it was me?
>>712714370
>married
I totally believe you
Nobody tells lies on the internet, right?
>>712714370
Watch it now.
>>712714497
How many of those do you have?
>>712714350
I fuck my body pillow
>>712714310
I mean all pokemon games are easy, I just go through the story so I can play competitive
and yes it's very hand holding
>>712714496
your waifu is beautiful and you're very kind
>>712714517
-n-
>>712714397
How are you?
>>712714754
Good, you?
>>712714768
I love your :o
>>712714572
it's common knowledge m8. we even did a cam show and posted the link here.
>>712714601
I'm currently watching a show right now
>>712714496
wanna go sleep together?
>>712714497
>>712714863
o:
>>712714869
I'm okay with being alone
>>712714869
can u post a link again? :o
i never saw
>>712714914
I like your o: too
>>712714667
Of what
>>712714707
-n-
I see.
Question: Are you able to drive?
>>712715025
How many Alice(s) ARE THERE?
Hello
>>712714979
you're an :o
>>712714869
Now.
>>712715166
1200 including my edits
>>712714934
I probably will eventually tbh. we both like being watched. but for the moment we aren't actually on cam and she in on a mini vacation with her mom.
>>712714914
>hello darkness my old friend
>>712715206
no
>>712715048
I can't see out of my right eye :o
so no, I scooter everywhere I go
>>712715197
you're an the most beautiful waifu
>>712715336
for holiday?
and yay
>>712715195
Hey there do you have any cookies?
>>712715336
I think you should watch it right now.
>>712715195
Hello Courtney, hope you've been well.
I'm going to sleep, good night everyone
>>712715336
rip
>>712715392
that's nice to say
>>712714451
Not to sound rude but i believe not even Genie would grant you that wish.
>>712714707
Yes, but these ones are so easy you can finish every battle in one hit.
at least the gyms in the other ones were somewhat difficult
Never heard of that expression.
>>712715392
You can't see out of your right eye?
That's the case for my left eye!
I have this cute little eyepatch I wear over it.
>>712715392
just a little snowboarding trip
>>712715436
no, im autistic and won't watch 2 shows at once
>>712715491
like a beyblade
>>712715509
pretty sure genies grant any wish except for more wishes
>>712715491
who's that little piggy? :o
>>712715509
it's like when you play a game and they just hold your hand the whole time
no fun
>>712715579
wow I had to wear an eyepatch on my left eye it was no fun
I got bullied and it felt weird ;-;
at least you got a cute one c:
>>712716281
ive never seen snow :o
>>712714853
Not too bad, thanks. I was playing castlevania and the damn thing locked up on me right before the Grimm Reaper. Played any games lately?
>>712715491
Your posts are at least 50% bellyposts
And it's glorious
Damn, one more nuke on Japan and we wouldn't have any of this faggy shit
How old is too old for /waifu/?
>>712716295
What's your favorite snack? -n-
>>712716281
let it rip
>>712716295
Nozomi
>>712716596
I wouldn't say 50% but it's probably close
>>712716717
she's cute but does not compare to you :o
>>712716643
I mostly just eat noodles now, I had pocky for my first time today, I didn't like it ._.
and you?
>>712716338
its fine to visit snow but i wouldn't live in it >>712716717
sweaters are also cute
>>712716638
/waifu/ is fun for all ages
>running out of non lewd images
>>712716813
Noodles are nice
I'm bananas for bananas!
>>712716813
I see
>>712716922
sweaters are great
>>712716541
Not really, I set up my ps2 but I don't have any games for it, so I have to sit and watch other people play it for me on the internet like a cuck.
>>712715579
The only cute eyepatch i know of is Nui's.
>>712716281
The point of the matter is that i'd never!
And i'm sure it's always a catch with them.
>>712716295
Oh, well i hope the next one if better but i have doubts.
>>712716981
o i c another blonde cutie
I love your smile by the by
>>712716925
I love bananas but they make my ears feel funny
does that happen to you? :o
because people think I'm weird when I say that...
>>712717081
I like the new pokemon at least, I'd say more good designs than bad
>>712717174
that's her sister
>>712717174
Not really.
I'm a lover of fruits, not just bananas!
And the only fruit that makes my ears feel funny are pears..
>>712716981
as are skirts ^_^
>>712717081
i mean really if i wanted them theres always google
>>712717008
Kek that was a funny analogy. I know your pain though. I was in the same boat until a couple months ago. Did you have a PS2 growing up? Or PS1?
>>712712259
Why are you posting with such shitty reaction images?
>>712717292
pears? wow you're so weird :o
I love pineapples the most, they tickle my tongue
do you like vegetales? I do except onions :(
>>712716717
13.34% of belly in this thread, but normally you're posting more belly and less sweater, sweater are nice too if the season is right
>>712717432
Are you jap-anon?
>>712717500
did you know pineapples tingle because they are digesting you? the fruit that eats back
~tali
>>712715436
I don't have cookies, but you can have this piece of cake~
>>712717343
yes
>>712717533
I'm surprised you took the time to calculate that
have more belly
>>712717693
hello you fucking stranger
>>712717729
yes yes
Narancia for sure.
>>712717672
oh no! ;-;
I'll stop eating them so they won't get revenge on me :o
>>712717432
Yeah, I used to play Crash on my sisters ps1.
I have shadow of the colossus coming in the mail so the pain will be over soon.
>>712717961
they're still delicious and it's only a little but that is why they "tingle"
>>712716281
I can only watch one show at a time as well. Does that make me autistic?
>>712716619
Imagine a world without anime.
>>712716638
About 40.
>>712717693
I accept you.
>>712717174
Very true, i like the grass starter.
>But that alolan persian
>>712717343
Forgot about that...
I believe Satsuki to be more of your interest anyway.
Goodnight
>>712718130
it makes you a little autistic at least
>>712718322
honestly ryuko out of the KLK girls
>out of non lewds to post
I remember one time my friend asked me to unzip the back of her dress so she could fix herself and I started panicking and sweating a lot
>>712718098
then I will eat only a little :o
>>712718322
I chose the cat because I have a cat
shame it gets really ugly and turns into cool cat
>>712718343
bye bye, love you
>>712718418
Oh, that surprises me, why is that?
>>712718419
Ah, though as far as i can tell the final forms of each get ugly sadly.
>>712718874
I like the water :o
>>712718874
i like red and i dated a girl with her personality in HS so nostalgia value
>>712718419
it can't actually eat you. eat as much as you like
>>712717804
Hey tali~ How you've been?
>>712718130
Yayyy
I'm gonna go masturbate and sleep
later gators!
>>712719061
pretty good having a FFM threesome as soon as the wife and I find a girl we like. maybe getting into porn as well.
>>712718970
Not sure why but that one puts me off as well, maybe it's the tail.
>>712719016
Ah, that's cool then.
She should be the only one for your needs then.
>>712717613
Kek no I am white
>>712717993
Very nice. Yes I've been a PlayStation guy from the beginning. Lost all of my old games somehow, so I'm going to have to rebuild. Luckily they aren't near as expensive as snes or nes.
>>712719532
Sunset
>>712719971
>
>>712719532
>Yes I've been a PlayStation guy from the beginning. Lost all of my old games somehow, so I'm going to have to rebuild
Figuratively me.
I might still get a few SNES games but I've shifted focus to the ps2 lately.
>>712718343
Sweet dreams.
>>712718418
I've always wondered why I was never able to do two things at once...
>>712719061
I'll make you into a nice puppet.
>>712719111
See ya!
Also I'm really tired so I'm going to have to go to bed now.
Goodnight Akari.
Mio is my. We share same bass guitar, we were meant for each other
>>712720428
Rest well!
I'm actually getting sleepy too. Good night /waifu/
>>712719111
fucker would get trips on the way out
>>712719412
depends on the mood really when it comes to hentai/porn
>>712720311
I actually can do multiple things at once very well...i just dont watch more than one show
well i was gonna wait till this thread was finished but it's going really slow now. goodnight all.
>>712720538 i forgot to post the damn image jesus im drunk as fuck
Miho...
POST A PIC OF YOUR HAND YOU VIRGINS
>>712720587
May i ask your limit?
>>712720826
>>712721126
>I have yet to find it
but things get a little jumpy around 4 tasks
also i really need to be doing at least 2 things or i get fidgety
here
and
would anyone like a copy of killing floor 1?
>>712721225
What's that supposed to mean exactly?
my waifu and husbando all in one
>>712721689
wouldnt it just be one or the other
>>712719389
Craigslist is good for that
>>712721621
like i feel bored/anxious. I need my mind occupied. it sometimes makes people angry because I will be doing like a rubix cube or reading while also listening to them speak and they think i'm not paying attention.
>>712721840
that's what i've been trying on tbh that and she has a tindr.
>>712721803
he makes a find looking woman so he'd be a great waifu
>>712721967
wouldnt that just make him a waifu then
>>712721689
That was a good show.
>>712720428
Bye bye
>>712720553
Good night.
>>712720587
And we were getting along so well! I can't wait to see you again. Goodnight.
>>712722096
but he looks great as a male as well
Claim
>>712721689
Where is he from and how often does she show up? seems kinda cute.
>>712721860
So how does that apply to lewd?
>>712722357
so you would take them either way you are saying?
>>712722260
I lied
>>712722478
sorry thought you were the guy talking about multi tasking ....whoops
>>712722478
from princess jellyfish and he's one of the main characters
