What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard?
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard?
>>712432904
Life.
>>712432904
Ever hear of a ghetto pregnancy test?
They stick a banana in their pussy, then check for bite marks.
These days, due to political correctness, I can't even say "black paint" anymore; I have to say "daquan, please paint my fence"
>>712432958
What's the worst thing about having Alzheimer's?
You're told more than once
>>712433219
kek
>>712432904
How do you know if your sister is on her period? when your dads cock tastes like blood
>>712433219
So offensive
>>712432904
Feminists
Pt 1: "Your choices in this election are Donald trump and Hillary Clinton"
Pt 2: "Donald trump has won the election"
I managed a rock band made up of a bunch of retarded kids...called it Syndrome of a Down
What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire? Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them.
>>712433135
Or
Mother pulls her tampon out and all the cotton is picked off
They say there's safety in numbers
Tell that to 6 million jews
How do you know your sister is on her period?
Your dads' cock tastes like blood.
>The usa.
9/11, the only time you didn't want to see twins go down on each other
Why are Jewish men circumsized? Jewish women won't go down on them unless it's half off
Doctor: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have cancer."
Patient: "Oh my god, no! Nooo!! I'm too young to die!!"
Doctor: ".. there is one more thing.. you also have Alzheimers"
Patient: "Shit! Well at least I don't have cancer."
>>712434330
BITCH FIGHT ME
Ur mum gay
A beaver walks into a bar and asks wheres the bartender
Why are there only two pallbearers at a niggers funeral?
Because a trashcan only has two handles
>>712434330
>China
How do you get a nigger out of the tree?
Cut the rope
>dad, what's a pedophile?
>shut up and keep sucking
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
An erection.
How do you know when a black person is lying? Their lips are moving
>>712435323
What's the hardest thing about cutting open a live baby?
My cock
What's the main difference between a truck full of baloons and a truck full of dead babies?
You can't unload the baloon truck with a pitchfork
What's the difference between OJ Simpson and Col.Sanders? Col.Sanders likes to kill his chicks before he batters them.
What's the dfference between a hippo and a zippo?
One's real heavy and the other's a little lighter.
>>712434353
I dont get it
Why are blacks so good at jumping?
They start early as babies hurdling coat hangers.
>>712432904
How do you get a gay guy to sleep with your gf?
Shit in her cunt.
Um. Huh huh n..niggers! Amitite guys!
How can you tell if a chinese girl is a virgin?
Reply to this post or your mother will die in her sleep tonight
>>712435680
You know, because people stopped watching porn so they could watch the news. When the 9/11 happened and accidentallyed 3000 people.
>>712435803
2/10 joke, didn't even smile
>>712435680
12 yr old detected
...I have to walk out of here alone
What is the warmest part of a baby's dead body?
My dick.
>>712435862
i don't get it
>>712435984
Muh nigga
>>712433908
Hurr durr funny cuz true X)
>>712432904
black lives matter
>>712435862
that makes sense
What's black and blue and hates sex?
A rape victim
What did a nigger do by jumping off a 7 story building?
A good thing.
All shit jokes. The best worst joke is.
Whats the difference between Maddeline McCain and Pope John Paul XVI?
Pope John Paul XVI died a virgin.
>>712432904
You call that a Knoif, this is a Knoif
http://creditcardknife.club
>>712435609
u munsta
Whats the difference between a Pakistani middle school and an Al Qaeda training camp?
I dont know, I just fly the drone.
I think its more funny than offensive but
Max is that type of nigga to suck dick for bus money and walk home.
Q: what's the most awkward part of cumming down my girlfriends throat?
A: burping her after
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb,
None
They just beat the room for being black
>>712432958
>>712436263
got about XIV John Pauls to go, dumbass
>>712436068
Ah well, at least your mother will live through the night
>>712435862
walked into that one
>>712436478
?????
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
How do you get ten babies into a bucket?
Blender.
How do you get them out of the bucket?
Tortilla chips.
How do you make an eight-year-old cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick on their teddy bear.
How do you fit 100 jews into a car?
Put them in the ash tray.
Whats the different between a black man and an elevator?
Elevator can raise a family.
Why do all black people have nightmares?
Because we killed the only one who had a dream.
>>712436779
>>>712436478
>?????
Cause it's a baby.....
>>712432904
Hey OP, have you heard the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What's the difference between Lady Diana and a very fine bottle off Champagne? None, they both came out of France in a wooden box.
Islam
>>712437045
but there are still differences, one was a woman, the other was a bottle of champagne, it should be what does diane and a very fine bottle of champagne have in common. fuckin idiot. just copy and pasta like everyone else in this god awful humorless thread
What's the best thing about 27 year olds? There are twenty of them
Why are white women so obsessed with Muslim guys?
>>712437326
What's the difference between you and a worthless waste of space? None!
Do you know that moment when you are eating out your grandma and suddenly tasting horse cum and you think to urself: "Oh thats how she died"
where do cum after fucking a duck? just put it on it's bill
>>712437671
What is the difference between you and a cum rag.
At least the cum rag sees some action
>>712437696
No?
What's blue and swings from a tree?
It's my nigger, I'll paint it any colour I like.
>>712437671
>>712437778
You idiot, we both get action, it's a symbiotic relationship
>>712437671
well ones a worthless waste of space, the other is me. If you were to have said what does a worthless waste of space and myself have in common? and then say that because were both worthless. it might have worked better.
>>712432904
What's the best part about taking a shower with a 12 year old girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks like an 8 year old boy.
what does the headstone of the inventor of viagra read? here lies Robert Furchgott, stiff at last.
How do you get the nignog kids to keep from jumping on the bed? Put Velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get them down? Tell the Messican neighbors there's a pinata party.
New Yorkers..fastest readers in the world..100 stories in 10 seconds
what did the little black boy say when he had diarrhea? help mommy im melting
Why did so many black people die in Vietnam? When the platoon sergeant yelled get down, they all stood up and started dancing.
What did god say when he created the first black man? Damn i burnt one
i thought painting my laptop black would make it run faster, it just stopped working.
What breaks when you give it to a toddler?
It's pelvis
how tall was the tallest jew? 15m tongue of flame.
why doesn't mexico have a navy?
> Cardboard doesn't float
What's the most sensitive part of your body when you masterbate? Your ears
Hugh Mungus.
>>712432904
"If only his black belt had been useful."
-My friend at the funeral for another friend of ours that had an anyurism. Laughed my ass off and I knew my other friend would have too. Miss that guy.
>>712436779
>>712432904
What's the difference between a truckload of toddler corpses and a truckload of bowling balls ?
You can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork
>>712437608
because we're the bomb
What's the coldest thing on a man's body?
His balls they're two bellow
>>712432904
What's worse than ten dead babies in a garbage can?
One dead baby in ten garbage cans.
What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A new surname
>>712432904
Jesus Christ walks into a hotel one night, puts 3 nails on the counter and tells the owner, "Can you put me up for the night?"
>>712435609
Holy shit dude that's the most offensive one yet
>>712435862
Top joke
I will always remember my granddads last words, "Stop shaking that ladder you little cunt.."
>>712432904
Mr. Cohen Sr. has worked his whole life, dedicated to his nail business. On his 70th birthday, he decides he's ready to retire to Florida, so he gives the nail business to his son and goes to Florida.
Six months later Cohen Sr. gets a phone call from Cohen Jr., "Hi Dad! Guess what! I've come up with a great new advertising campaign for the business. You'll be so proud. Come on out--you've got to see it." So Cohen Sr. eagerly flies back home to see his son's accomplishment.
Cohen Jr. picks his father up from the airport and they drive to the factory. Halfway there, Cohen Jr. points out a billboard to his father. It is a picture of Jesus Christ nailed to the cross. The slogan below says, "For the toughest job, use Cohen's nails!"
Aghast, Cohen Sr., gasps, "Oy! Son, I'm sorry, but you can't use that. The goys will never go for it.
Cohen Jr. relents to his father's experienced wisdom and immediately removes the offensive billboards. Cohen Sr. travels back to Florida.
Six months later, the father again receives a phone call. "Dad, I took your advice and got rid of the old ad campaign. Now I've come up with something even better! Come on out and look!"
Cohen Sr. again flies out, and again, his son drives him from the airport to the factory. Two miles out from the factory, Cohen Sr. draws his breath rapidly. On the billboard, is a picture of a cross, with Christ crumpled in a heap at the bottom. The slogan says,
"Should've used Cohen's nails !"
>>712432904
Womens rights
or another bomb:
The wage gap
What's the best thing about banging twenty five year olds?
There are twenty of them.
You dont won. Expect the unexpected
How many Jews were killed in Holocaust ? 6 million
>>712435609
For some reason, I feel like that's a picture of Brendan Frasier.
Why do niggers always cry after sex?
Because of the pepper spray
Why do K9 units always lick their asshole after a bust?
To get the taste of nigger out of their mouth
"Mommy, mommy. I was the only one who could answer the question in class, today"
"Wow, dear. What was the question?"
"Who farted"
>>712435862
Got me
>>712435530
Lost
Mommy! I gots tha biggest dick in the first grade! Is it because I black?
Nah son, it because you 12.
What's worse than nailing a baby to a tree?
Ripping it off.
>>712439764
>k9 licking butthole.
Lost hard
>>712436651>>712436263
23 johns, only 2 John pauls, so your both dumb asses.
But not a bad joke
>>712432904
Surveys show that 70 percent of black males enjoy sex in the shower. The other 30 percent haven't been to prison yet.
Why don't blacks get sunburnt? Because jail cells are indoors
The scariest thing about a white person in prison is that you know they did it.
Lol
>>712437988
Lol. At least this kid knows how to properly form a joke.
I don't know why well crafted comedy is so hard for people to grasp.
What's the difference between a snow tire and a nigger?
A snow tire don't sing when you put chains on it.
Taylor Swift has had more boys than a Catholic Priest
How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday?
By putting a flower on the grave
>>712435609
Too far, bro. You crossed the line with that one.
>>712437696
holy shit
>>712434102
fuck you. i got this from 4chan 5 years ago
What's black and has 38 nipples?
The trash bag outside the breast cancer clinic.
>>712435530
Kek'd
I prayed to Jesus for me to win the lottery and I won 10 dollars...to all the atheist out there, this proves he exists and that he's a jew
Sign seen in a german hotel bordering poland:
Help us to save water. If you need fresh towel, throw yourself on the floor. If you don't need fresh towel, hang yourself.
Why do black people have flat noses?
From running after parked cars.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, we could stop millions of mosquitos from needlessly dying of aids
First girl : my sex life is like the hundreds metres dash
Second girl : what, over in 6 seconds
First girl : no, with 8 black guys and a gun
>>712434616
I like it
Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?
Because he's married
What has the twin towers and genders got in common?
Because there use to be two, but now it is offensive to joke about that
>>712437528
It's what's the best thing about fucking twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them..
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
What's twelve inches long and makes a woman scream all night?
A stillborn.
Why did god invent black man?
So fat white chicks could get laid
>>712435862
Memes
My grandmother used to tell us a joke.
She’d say “Knock knock”, we’d say “Who’s there?”. Then she’d say “I can’t remember"
thenstart to cry.
>>712437528
*about FUCKING twenty seven year olds
Some of the jokes in this thread are so dark..I'm surprised the police haven't shot them
>>712438600
Kek
What do you say about a six ear old Somalian kid who lost his leg?
It's his midlife crisis
What's got 8 legs and makes women scream?
Gang-rape.
>>712435862
Kek
I saw a black guy kicking the shit out of my dog..so I shot him..I'm not having a dog that loses a fight to a nigger
>>712435323
How do you get a baby into a bucket?
Blender.
How do you get them out of the bucket?
Nachos.
What do you get when you cross a wolf and a human?
Banned from the zoo?
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
>pick it up and suck its dick
Why is a nigger so good at arguments?
He doesn't cherrypick, he cottonpicks.
My sex life is like the hundred metre dash.
It usually involves ten black guys and a gun.
What does a pizzas and parents have in common? If they are black, then you have nothing to eat
Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker?
She has dementia
>>712436483
>does it take to screw in a light bulb,
kek
My friend told me whenever you watch porn you're watching a woman get raped.
I was shocked.
How'd she know what kind of porn I watch?
Mother I really don’t like the red soup”
“Be quiet child. We get it just once a month”
>>712435862
damn
>>712443974
I laughed out loud.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her
>>712444443
so close
Bus load of spastics crashed on the highway and the police are at the scene trying to get the bus out of the wreckage.
You know I'm not all that racist really. I even have a black guy in my family tree.
Well atleast I'm pretty sure he's still hanging up there anyway.
what's the difference between a pizza and jews?
Pizzas dont scream when put in an oven.
What's the difference between santa and the jews?
Sants goes DOWN the chimney
Arab scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the middle ages.
They’re calling it ‘Islam’.
How do you get a jewish girls number?
Roll up her sleeve.
And how many dead hookers take to change the basement light bulb? Obiusly more than 4, because mine still dark
Why do Jews have big noses? Air is free.
What's the difference between an abo and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
How do you get a baby into a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it back out?
Doritos.
What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to 10 trees.
Sex is like spreading butter on toast.
It's possible to do it with a credit card, but its so much easier with a knife.
>>712444443
data point of one, but that would confuse the hell out of me if someone did it
>>712443786
What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four
>>712442273
>>712435029
Brutal
>>712444896
>What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
>One dead baby nailed to 10 trees.
I don't see how that is worse.
>>712445162
You had to eviscerate the baby to nail it to ten separate trees.
What's the hardest part about being a black jew? Having to sit at the back of the oven.
>>712439594
kek
>>712445907
But it's still only one baby dead versus ten babies dead.
>>712445931
Sooo kek
sooo kek
>>712446334
True. I guess it's also about the wordplay.
>>712444999
>>712433146
fucken under rated poast
Why was Michael Jackson like a fine caviar?
They both come on little white crackers.
What was the last thing that came through Princess Diana's head when they crashed?
Her ass
>>712432904
I'm deaf you fucking ableist.
>>712447592
I said KNOCK KNOCK
comitialibus...carpe diem
>>712447828
Whos there?
What's the difference between a pizza and a park bench?
A park bench can support a family of 4.
What's loud and leaves red circles on the floor? A baby with an arm cut off.
You know, they say dark humour is like food. Some people get it and some don't.
>>712440268
The scariest part is him spending time with a lot of Dindu Nuffings
>>712433146
Why isn't Jesus any good at hockey?
He's always getting nailed to the boards.
>>712435862
good juan