>ITT: We act like skyrim characters until trips
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>ITT: We act like skyrim characters until trips
>>712099189
Hey there, traveller
>>712099189
Dohvakiin, you have to kill Paarthunax. I know he helped us save the world but he's still a filthy ni- I mean...dragon...yeah...
Eeeeeeverything's for sale, my friend!
Stay a while, and listen!
By Sithis, I don't have all day!
Did you hear the rumors about dragons returning to skyrim? Utter nonsense if you ask me
Is that hair growing out your ear?
I used to be an adventurer like you, until i took an arrow to the knee
So, you're interested in my potions and ingredients?
>>712099480
Wrong game, Uncle
Psst, hey. I know who you are. Hail Sithis.
I'll take your plates.
Trinkets, odds and ends, that sort of thing
So, you wish to master the meme arts.
Go cast your fancy magic somewhere else
>>712099779
For the last time, I'm not sick. Jesus, you're such a worrywart.
Stop that... Shouting
You see those warriors from Hammerfell? They’ve got curved swords. Curved. Swords.
>>712099989
What a coincidence! My potions are made of worrywarts!
Is it true what they say? Are you really dragonborn?
>>712099189
I took a arrow to the nee
I've heard about you and your honeyed words.
Do you get to the sky district very often?
Are you feeling ill?
Do you get to the cloud district very often? Oh, what am I saying, of course you don't.
*mumble mumble* N-wah.......
Looking for my husband Nazeem? Check the Jarl's backside.
>>712100238
Who am I kidding? Of course you don't.
Do you get to the cloud district very often? Oh, what am I saying, of course you don't.
Hail, summoner. Conjure me up a warm bed, would you?
A guard might get nervous, a man approaches with his weapon drawn.
Why you puffed up ignorant- These are our sacred traditions
>>712100568
>Weapon
"penis"
HMPH, Must have been my imagination.
You gotta defend the commonwealth dohvakiin. Travel to diamond city and find some dark elf, it'll be a collect shit mission but he'll give you a sword.
Now go kill some smooth skins with the sword.
Also don't forget to download Cbbe.
My cousin is out fighting dragons. And what do I get? Guard duty.
>>712100659
By the order of the Jarl, stop right there!
Ooooohhhhhhh there once was a hero named Ragnar the Red who came riding from Whiterun to ol' Rorickstead...
They say Ulfric Stormcloak murdered the High King... with his voice! Shouted him apart!
Got any grapes?
>>712100659
You never should have come here.
Move along citizen
I am sworn to carry your burdens
*gets stuck*
*steps on trap*
Why walk, when you can ride?
you think my father's counsel is his counsel alone? let's just say i advise the advisor
M'aiq wishes you well.
>>712100827
Sorry fresh out. We've got some juniper berries.
>>712100775
I'm the Jarl's Thane. I demand you let me go at once.
>>712099189
Another wander, here to lick my father's boots.
>>712099189
>*clips through floor*
You nwah!
And who are you to challenge me? I've conquered mortality itself. I've spat in the eyes of the Daedric Lords! This is my realm now, I've sacrificed too much to let you take it from me!
Mournhold, city of light, city of magic!
look at my trips fagwad nerds
I'll have you know there's no pussieeeeeeee
By the gods! A dragon on that tower!
Heard the dawnguard is recruiting again
Oh, there once was a hero named Ragnar the Red, who came riding to Whiterun from ole Rorikstead. And the braggart did swagger and brandish his blade as he told of bold battles and gold he had made. But then he went quiet, did Ragnar the Red when he met the shield-maiden Matilda, who said; "Oh, you talk and you lie and you drink all our mead; now I think it's high time that you lie down and bleed!". And so then came clashing and slashing of steel, as the brave lass Matilda charged in, full of zeal. And the braggart named Ragnar was boastful no moooore when his ugly red head rolled around on the floor!
WHAT IN OBLIVION IS THAT
Ah, yes, we've been expecting you! The letter that preceded you mentioned that you were born under a certain sign. And what sign would that be?
>>712100930
Oh, forgive me, Thane. I didn't realize it was you. We'll look the other way this time, but even the Jarl's influence has its limits. Be more careful.
The glimmer of life is gone
I've been hunting and fishing in these parts for years, stay out of my territory
And why not? 100 septims say I can knock your hide to the ground.
Got something here for you. Your eyes only
I'm creeping!
>>712101081
This boys work hard and they play harder!
>>712101100
i seem to have stumbled upon something interesting. Upon further inspection, it is a doubled set of doubled numbers
Drem. Patience. There are formalities that must be observed, at the first meeting of two of the dov. By long tradition, the elder speaks first. Hear my Thu'um! Feel it in your bones. Match it, if you are Dovahkiin!
Father says i'm too young to use a sword, so i practice with my fists!!
Dr Grant, my dear Dr Sattler, welcome to Jurassic Park.
>>712101149
Dragonborn get dragon dicks. Thought it was common knowledge.
Let me guess. Someone stole your sweetroll!
Some may call this junk, me I call them treasures.
Destruction magic's fine, just don't go burning down any buildings.
Show these release forms to the captain on the way out.
>>712100238
I hate you more than the daedra
These sands are cold, but Khajiit feels warmth from your presence
See those warriors from Hammerfell? They've got curved swords. Curved. Swords.
I help my father in more ways then you can imagine, if you know what I mean
>arrow in head
>wait
>"must be a rat"
THE WABBAJACK!
Hey, skeever butt!
By the hist!
Got to thinking... maybe I'm the Dragonborn, and I just don't know it yet?
>>712101929
By the gods, it's a vampire!
>>712102062
Heard they're reforming the Dawnguard. Vampire hunters or something, in the old fort near Riften. Might consider joining up myself.
>>712101874
where is lydia ?
oh ! a cake.
délicious.
Let's get back to bashing butts as well as deez nutz
>>712100951
FUCK THAT KID
>>712099189
You guy's hear about the Dark Brotherhood?
Makes even a nord tremble at what they do.
BRING BACK TALOS!!
>>712102261
Another one of the new servants? Remember Iike my meat rare.
*rattling*
pst! I know you, hail sithis
Wait... I know you.
I said to the baker, you're not dead, you're a faker, but if that's your wish, I'll oblige (and I stuck my daggers in his eyes)
I've been looking for you. Got something I'm supposed to deliver - your hands only.
We're here to teach you a lesson.
DIVINES, PLEASE SAVE ME
I will not sit idly by as a dragon pillages my hold and slaughters my people
A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON
OP here, next person that gets 69 becomes an honorary daedric prince.
Graymane or Battleborn?
...What? Mother? Is that your voice I hear? Hmm... No, no... Just my head playing tricks... Foolish Cicero...
>>712101610
I'd totally fuck a khajiit
Yes, Listener! I will remain in this very spot until you tell me otherwise. Spiders could eat my face off and faithful Cicero would not move an inch!
>Hey, what village are you from, horse thief?
>(side note I actually had to look up the line because I haven't played the intro since I bought the game all those years ago)
>>712104414
argonians are sexier
>>712104613
obligatory lusty argonian maidan
>>712099189
I'd be a lot warmer and a lot happier with a belly full of mead.
>>712099989
>>712100053
What the fuck is wrong with this thread
>>712104613
fuck no. soft warm Khajiit female that snuggles afterwords and lightly purrs
Battle-Born! Give me your money!
DEATH OR SOVERNGARDE!
>>712099715
Fur, nigger
Spare a coin for a poor, old beggar.
this nigger shit needs to stop
no luke i am your father
>>712105564
Wait, what character says that? I don't believe I've ever seen that.
Got a lot of shteel to shape
Fuck me please
this guy stole all my shit yesterday, no idea who it was. funny, a few minutes later and I saw someone with my one of a kind collection of potions and food. I'm sure he just picked them all up.
The Legion is always looking for capable warriors, if you think you got what it takes.
Come to see Balimund perform miracles of steel?
>>712105195
>not wanting to fuck lizard ass
>not wanting to lick sweaty lizard feet
You have poor taste anon, enjoy your pleb tier gypsy cats
Fuck me please
nickey menaj has a fake as
>>712105933
>implying Lizards sweat
>>712105908
>that retarded quest to get 10 fire salts
fuck you balimund I needed those for exploding bolts
>>712105908
your quite proud of your work
You don't even know our tongue. Such arrogance to take up the name of dov.
im from 9gag fear me niggers
Hands to yourself sneaky thief
I've got a little work if you're interested, traveler.
we need to do something about these vampire attacks
>>712099189
Milk drinker
>>712106321
Nice try nigger, now go back to your field.
A nord last thoughts should be of home.
The Reach belongs to the Forsworn!
Trips to end this autist shit
>>712106197
9gag ......... hahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahah aaaaaah getthefuckout.
>>712106321
Aye, im interested. What do you need?
Some may call this junk. Me ? I call them treasures.
Wait you there, step forward. Who are you?
>>712106383
What's a milk drinker like you doing out here?! Go home to your mother.
No lollygagging
>>712106427
We will meet again, in Savangarde, brother.
Hm, blades, helmets, pretty much anything to suit your needs.
oh no
NEVER SHOULD OF COME HERE
I hate all of you
>>712106588
Somebody steal your sweetroll?
Kodlak says I have Ysgamor's strength and my brother has his smarts.
Watch the skies, traveller.
>>712106632
Should've. SHOULD'VE. Think about what you're saying. "Should of" doesn't make any sense at all. Use your fucking brain, for fucks sake.
get on with it! i haven't got all morning!
>>712101166
Anyone want a job at 9gag's corporate offices?
Come to chat with an ol' woman hmm? Do your good deed for the day?
i havent even played skyrim at all
ive never even played skyrim
fuck skyrim
I havent played skyrim but I assume the characters act like giant faggots
>>712100904
And milk of the poppy!
>>712106754
should've is short for "should have"
MY MOMS GETTING ATTACKED BY THE RADROACES
>>712106896
Nah ima take you behind warmaidens and fucking rape your old ass, bitch.
>>712106951
You should play it with all of the sex mods. It's a great experience
only autists play skyrim
I'm on my way to join the Legion in Solitude. A united empire is better for everyone.
>>712107042
...right? That's the point.
>>712107135
Skyrim was utter shit unless you're a pale foreveralone betafag
>>712107057
welcome to the autism guild
>>712107224
>>712106754
I don't remember this character. Is he from Solitude? He sounds like he'd be from Solitude.
>>712107135
Fucking faggot. Stormcloaks 4 lyfe
I'm warning you. Back off.
arrow knee xd
>>712106754
>Should've
that doesn't even mean anything
>>712104120
I miss the voice actor for the imperial guards in oblivion. You just can't beat "WHY. WON'T. YOU. DIIIIEEEEEE!"
>>712107273
I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dildo in the AYYYUSSSS
It's a fine day with you around.
I have so many hours logged into skyrim but I've never finished the main story. Anyone else?
>>712107344
0/10
i use my skyrim as a vibrator it feels pretty god
>>712107278
three words "general goddamned Tulious" and how he make ulfrik look like even more of a whiny bitch than he already is
>>712107484
No, you're alone. How the fuck can you live with yourself.
>>712107395
STOP! You violated THE LAW!
>>712107531
Please. Tullious isn't worthy to lick the shit out of Ulfriks butthole.
SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS!
FALLOUT WITHOUT GUNS!!
>>712105933
>not wanting to ravage gypsy kat cunt
what a faggot
XD
There's a nip in the air. Cold won't be good for my crops. It never is.
>>712107729
Ulfrick literally threw a whined the king to death.
>>712107604
I don't. I drink alcohol everyday to numb the pain that comes with knowing that I'm an overweight nu-male failure who will never amount to anything even when he thinks he's given something all he's got.
A CHALLENGER IS NEAR!(with brutal vocal)
Important deliveries to make! No time for chatting!
>>712108018
Damn, bro. I was just shit talking. My bad, homie. Really hope things start looking up for ya soon.
>>712107839
>not wanting to feel smooth lizard skin rub and slap against your own as you get plowed by your loving nest mate
>setting yourself up to get robbed by a drug addicted cat
I bet you think muzzie women are attractive too
>>712107808
And computers.
And explosives.
And robots.
And ghouls.
And cars.
And vertibirds.
And radiation.
And lasers.
And power armor.
And ...
can you go to bleak falls barrow and find the cure for the darkspawn?
>>712108222
Winrar.
>>712108218
Thanks brah but I was just fucking around
>>712108222
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Lol what now?
Who else here LOVES sucking dick? I damn sure do. Love it when it explodes, so much cum... hhnnnggg
>>712108467
Fuck the police and keep shitposting.
>>712108514
ayy
>>712108454
Oh ok good, you faggot :p
>>712105192
Something the matter elf?
>>712108309
If Mer are better reply here.
Fus em
>>712108820
>>712108822
Foos roduh
>>712108760
Ahutthe duck. Up yoy fuckkng ads blasting dick ducking fucking faghot.
>>712107732
Surprised I haven't seen this yet
YOU'LL MAKE A FINE RUG, CAT!
>>712105933
He has that dagger way to close to his junk and asshole
Sheath those claws, khajiit.
>>712108222
>trips
well shit
you win this round gay lizard
>>712110118
hot
Well met hunter.
>>712108855
Fucking brilliant
"Upon my honor I do swear undying loyalty to the Emperor, Titus Mede II..."
"...and unwavering obedience to the officers of his great Empire."
"May those above judge me, and those below take me, if I fail in my duty."
"Long live the Emperor! Long live the Empire!"
SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE MODS!!!!
>>712108243
baited podcast
>>712108018
You have the body of your life style. Eating less even cost less. Start running for no reasons. It will put some testosterone into that limp cock of yours.
Shiny trinkets for your good ladyyy! All crafted by the great Eorlund Gray-Mane himself!
Ysgramor was the hero who started the Companions. Wuuthrad was his weapon. He came from the ancient homeland and killed all the elves. But not all of them, because some of them are still here.
>>712099189
Climb on back and we'll be off
What's the matter? Can't stand the sight of a strong Nord woman?
>>712113925
>Mediterranean features
>nord
ok
>>712099189
STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
>>712099189
Do you get to the Cloud District very often? Oh what am I saying. Of course you don't. I'll have you know there's no PUSSYYYYYY
>>712113212
good ol farkas
>That spell looks dangerous... keep your distance!
EVERY fucking one when you have dead thrall.
