Feels thread please...
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Feels thread please...
bumo
>>712073100
look on the bright side, you got dubs
contribooting
Bump
>>712073100
Meet M. at end of January in Class
>Ask her out in April
>Say's yes, but Friend forces way in.
>I ask her out to get coffee a week later
>"I'm Busy" with no counter offer. (Work and Family)
>I stop for a month, other than occasionally speaking in class, and an odd text here or there.
>Most day's we don't acknowledge each other, sometimes talking around each other
>Mid-May rolls around. Invite her to hang out with friends in the City
>Busy (Her Bro's Graduation from College, 200+ miles away)
>We agree to hangout soon. No dates set, as we both have finals
>Text her randomly a week later asking about the graduation. We end up talking for 5 hours, with another short thing the following morning
>Invite her to a thing in the City that Saturday. (Again with my friends)
>This time she's doing stuff with friends. No date offered again.
>I asked her out a week or so ago, (Via Text as thats the only comms I have with her)
>Looks like her phone is kinda broken due to the text sending as an SMS and not iMessage like usual
>So, No reply
>Try to get my mind off her
> Randomly a friend texts me about her.
>Because of him reminding me of her, I check to see if shes back on iMessage.
>She is, so phone is back and working
>But still no reply.
>Spoke to her a week and half after I asked her
>She made no reference to when I asked her out.
>She either is avoiding it, or never saw it (Though she did accidentally send ;) but quickly corrected it to :) )
>I sure as hell am not going to bring it up again.
>Text to see if shes free to hangout with a friend and I
>Busy, graduation party
>Did not buy it
>Sent this "I don't mean to sound like an asshole, but if you don't want to hang out at all just say so."
>She does not respond
>I check, and see that her sisters HS did graduate the following day.
>Now I regret it.
>Apologize. She accepts and kind apologizes as well
>Text her a month later, she responds (25 hours later)
>Talk for 8ish hour, but spread out replies (Busy again.)
1/2
>>712074573
She still does shit that indicates some interest though.
>She is shy, and kinda doesn't acknowledge me unless I say something, then we can talk for a good while without issue. This is even when it is just us standing next to each other before class.
>Does not initiate texts, but is willing to talk for hours with detailed replies once I get her going
>I have seen her looking at me from a distance, sometimes locking eyes.
>When I asked for her number, she took my phone and punched it in. (It was the actual number, obviously)
>When I asked her to grab lunch the first time, she said she was busy that weekend, so I offered up Monday, which she accepted.
rejected earlier, really liked the kid. it's a part of life though i guess.
>be me
>in class everybody is almost gone except for 3 of mine friends and mine crush
>she about to leave when she strats huging my friends all of them except me
>she even huged the drawer for fucks sake is not like I don't talk to her
>>712075226
hug all of her friends
or realize there are more fish in the sea
Bump
>>712075809
Jesus fuck man. That hit me right in the feels
I fucked up /b/ros. So I have a girlfriend whom I love very much, but I made several unintentional mistakes in the past (which she pointed out today) and when I made the last one, she snapped. Basically I'm a little controlling but I don't realize it. I really do have the best intentions in mind, but I control without realizing it. I'm scared /b/ros. I love her so much, but I might lose her tonight. She hasn't responded to any of my texts
girl i have been dating is now seeing a friend of mine. Feel like shit. The thing is they are doing it sneaky.
>>712077656
if you admit to being a "little" controlling, but don't realize it in the moment...you probably are very controlling . you fucking blew it man. find a new one who is into being owned
So, im going to tell you my story cuz i need some advice
>Be me, 18 yo, starting University Pretty beta but im kinda of the funny guy that never stands still
>Theres this girl, brownish, skinny but with one of the best round butt i've ever seen
>Eventually started to study together and shit
>Then we went to the club, then make out and nothing happend after.
>3 weeks from then, we get drunk in her house, we Make out and fuck for like... 4 mins and we were so drunk that we just stoped.
>Now she's back with her ex
>She's going to study something else.
>Doesnt even bothers on answering my messages and we just talk about studythings
>Mfw
>>712078295
You're probably right. Shit. I hate myself at times
>>712078736
Probably i've never been so much atracted to anybody, not even to my ex-gf of 2 years
Also, my english is pretty broken, im argentine
>>712078960
Hello argentine
Ok, no green text, I can barely type because of how shitfaced I am right now, so I'll just copy shit I've type in on /int/ thread.
So the only girl I ever cared about, for whom I let myself fall like a stupid fucking teenager, with whom I was really close until I fucked up, finally broke my fucking heart today.
Until few months back I was a totally emotionless husk. I quess it was a convenient defense mechanism. Then I met her. We became friends. Then good friends. And then something even more I quess. She once even hinted I was one of the reasons she broke up with her bf. I fell in love with her. Cutest, nicest little thing, with similiar music taste, interesting hobbies and great person overall. We wasn't together and she went away on holidays. We were messaging each other every day. She sometimes called me at night etc. Summer ended we finally met again and we spent the whole night talking, cuddling etc. I know faggy shit, but I was in love and it never was about just fugging with her for me, even tho I got one great oportunity which I should've taken, but back then I got the feeling that it would ruin our "relationship" forever. Next day we went for a beer and I fucked up big time. She was crying in my arms, we were kissing and if I werent a total retard, everything could've been different. Then I fucked up even more by not being able to salvage it when I had oportunity even though we were still writing each other and were even seeing each other. We grew distant and today.... I got the IRL Dear John and only thing I got myself to do was mumbling like a retard about how I still care about her. I don't even know what the fuck should I do now.
bumpity
Hey yall got any feel movies (feels with loneliness preferred)
>>712081811
Bump for this.
I kinda wish Clinton'd win. At least I would have a legit reason to off myself.
>>712081811
The Martian
Lets get some thread themes going.
https://youtu.be/2aj65g28Q4k
>>712082082
Just watched this the other day, and I second this. Very good film but yeah it's pretty fucking lonely.
>>712082201
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bdl1oQ0W-ls
As if you didn't know how it feels to lose
As if you didn't know how it feels to lose at dice with fate
At least have some dignity
As if it wasn't a lifetime spent on connecting the dots
There was no pattern
As if the irony was more than a defense mechanism
And we could actually laugh for a change
As if steel hooks in our backs were more than a nuisance
And we could actually feel something....
.....As if everything was to be made right one day
Dreams don't come true for people like us ....
>>712074656
I think texting first is one of the bigger indicators that she is interested in you, and she seems to seldom do that. I think I would probably just move on.
>>712083211
True. But, she did indicate that she is very shy (and probably has social anxiety) by saying "I am just coming out of my shell" or something to that affect
Besides, I don't think she has many friends (and seems to like every single persons comment on facebook) kinda supports that idea.
>>712083096
This shit is the same when my lovebird died (pic related)
Still crying when i hear the song that make me think about her,wich i dedicated. ( Sonic colors, reach for the stars)
this is now a dubs thread
>>712083564
I've been closer to my pets than I have been to most people because most people are fucking cunts. Cried a little bitch when each and every one of them died, even my fucking lizard.
Of course, I also got that close to a girl once, and then fucked it all up. Still feeling that one, probably always will. Life is a bit of a hell, ain't it?
>>712083737
True. Myself and i ,have already problems like diagnosed mental illnesses,plus add the fact of other people being shitlords towards you,and there you go. A living hell that im in since 10 years :))))
>>712084190
>have already problems like diagnosed mental illnesses
Feel like sharing? I can relate to that shit as well.
Also that bird is fucking adorable
>>712083564
Rest in paradise to your bird homie. I can relate. Animals are angels on earth.
>>712074553
Memories
>>712083737
True. Fell for my teacher and I think she knows and is trying to distance herself from me. Life is currently a living hell and I can't focus on school without her acknowledgement. Perhaps it was love that turned into limerence, either way I feel the damage is done with me and my life is already feels like it's been turned inside out.
>>712084360
If you want..
>be me 13
>start school
>people of 2 higher classes start calling me "smeagle" "gollum"
>get ridicolized in front of everyone
>fast forward 3 years
>start doing cooking school
>wearing as punk-rocker,girls used to love that shit back in the days
>get bullied for 3 consecutive years with heavy words,in and out of school. people still doing nothing,not even the principal of the school
>after those 3 years. i left school, i sat at home,try to search for a job but eventually remain at home major of time.
>fast fowards to 2016
>discussion happend with father,claming my computer,while i tell him is the only thing i have
>reach for a steel bar,threatening to destroy if he dare
>sister blabbing about calling the police with the voice registrator of her phone active
>i remain silence.
>next time i grab a knife and threaten my sister to give me her phone
>we eventually get to police
>start talking to them of what happend
>ambulance arrive and take me to the mental ward of the hospital
>i sat there for 6 hours
>i eventually got diagnosed with anxiety,discontrol of impulses,bipolarism
>fast foward 5 months
>takin meds,trying to get my life better,and also going to one of those facilities where there's other people with problem,but you can stay there half day doing stuff,eating in company and try to get helped
I am currently sitting on a plain period,and this shit is killing me,cuz i literally cannot see the progress im making,as my operator said.
This is long short my life up till now.
>>712085001
Thanks man,i appreciate that.. have another pic (she was sleeping inside my hoodie..i miss her rly much. literally,my best friend)
>>712085519
That sucks dick, anon. Mental disorders are the worst shit. I've been recommended depression meds but I don't trust the shit. But at the same time, I dunno. I'm not sure there's really another option.
I hope your shit works out.
>>712078736
i think you should just forget her. She was drunk and wanted to feel loved.
>>712082225
I cant pretend anymore because its way to obvious that a loser like me couldnt do shit right.
>>712084190
Yo bro, i have problems myself, but only for like 7-8 years. You are heard, tell us your story.
>>712073100
Yeah it does but there's nothing anyone can do about it, at least all life will perish when the sun dies. I don't even bother caring anymore, everythings a disappointment: me, my love life, my hobbies, even my dinner, I'm just tired.
>>712085519
you look cute.
>>712085811
Meh. Im on depakin chronos threatment. I've been capped before at 4 pill a day,but eventually i started a hair-loss,so i told my psichiatrist and she make sat at 2,and now im feeling plain. (Dep. is only a humor stabilizer). I also take 1 of Tavor when i have episodes of unctrollable rage (wich happend a lot due to my continues quarrels with my father on the "job" context).
Shit's not bad,but you gotta be carefull when you notice even the minor changes on your persona. They can be helpfull,but the major of works come from yourself
>>712085811
>I hope your shit works out.
They said i could be good in 2 years,but knowing my self,i dont have much trust in that...
>>712086163
>Yo bro, i have problems myself, but only for like 7-8 years. You are heard, tell us your story.
>>712085519
Sorry for bad english. Im italian
>>712085519
Do the meds help from your experience? Unfourtunatley things like anxiety are so subjective that it's hard to properly diagnose them. My brother was on anti depressents for a while and he turned into a zombie. He's off them now. Smoking weed helps some things, sometimes..
>>712073100
I'm a 24 yr old kv and my last friend got married two months ago. Haven't talked to him since. Good thing Final Fantasy 15 and Pokemon Sun and moon are coming out soon, cuz I don't have anything to do anymore
Why did I fall for her? Why did I fall so hard for her. I literally never felt like this about a girl. I think about her day in and day out.
Even though she probably doesn't feel the same about me, I can't shake the thought that maybe it will all work out, and we'll be together in the end.
When I first saw her I thought she was cute. Then I got another look, and I saw more than that for some reason, and I fell for her big.
I began to like everything about her. Her laugh (which is considered the worst out of people we know.) Her insecurities even. I like fucking everything about her.
Don't know what triggered me to fall for her in a big way
>>712086585
>Do the meds help from your experience? >>712086520
Im sorry for your bro. Hope he's gonna get well soon
>>712075809
Damn that cut deep as fuck
Why am i only mediocre at everything i do?
And clumsy
And my memory is shit
And my life is shit
Working a minimum wage job before i can join a college again which i will probably fail again because i'm also a lazy fuck
I hate myself and i can't change
>>712082427
Thanks anon for showing me this band.
depressive black metal is relevant these days.
>>712081333
damn, can relate to this
>>712088294
It's ok fam... If you like metal with feelsy lyrics try this EP... and of course the Mgla album.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZFGia7g2b4
"...Captive in self-loathing calm
A semblance of revenants haunting my thoughts
The temptress you were
The air between your bones is desolate and cold
I was breathing yet I fought for air
That tomb you pulled me down
You were falling to a dark abyss
I should have let you drown....
...Can anguish control my fate?
Does the hatred inside numb infectious pain?
Hope is the myth of the weaker man's dreams
Searching for comfort and peace
Tempt my flesh
Take my breath
Wishing everything away
Take the venom from my veins....."
>>712081811
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It'll make you think about her.
>>712077701
fuck that dumb bitch
thanks fam. I'll definitley check this out.
This damn track been hittin me right in the feels. This one will make you think of Her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE7y9p3ttjs
>>712089170
because so many bad things have happened that i don't even care anymore
i brush everything off as meh and live on
Im alone.I dont know what true love feels like,only how its expressed to others.
It hurts.
>>712086756
just wanting to be with someone.
know that fee man, well knew atleast
my girl turned out to be an egoist
>>712089170
I don't worry about them.
I expect them.
>>712089642
>my girl turned out to be an egoist
As in, I assume, having a massive ego?
And not being a follower of Stirner's Egoist Anarchism?
>>712086756
This exact shit fam....
And to crown this, we wera already really close. We even kissed and shit, she was interested in me, I was in love with her and still I fucked up big time. And I know I will never find someone like her....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWWCiZ0lLOo&spfreload=5
I love my best friend.
I know she loves me too.
Thing is, she has a great husband.
Thing is, I have a great wife.
It is not likely that this situation will change.
We will die without knowing each other intimately.
As an adult, I have to make peace with this, for everyone's sake.
I know it seems trivial, as I have more to be thankful for than most.
But I hope it never happens to you anons.
The gnawing 'what if' is absolutely brutal.
>>712089939
I posted more about her in here.
We managed to hang out once. And thats it.>>712074573
>>712090103
well, this is my post >>712081277
I am a pedophile. I am drunk. And I want to kill myself or have someone do it for me because I have tried and I cannot do it on my own.
>>712086756
>>712089642
>>712089400
(I put that song up^ emo feels i fucking know)
I know that feel. Been more than 3 years since we parted ways, and it's felt like a lifetime. thought i was just about over her. Had to delete facebook cause that shit helps none. I finally felt okay recently. The dreams stopped, I noticed she wasnt in the back of my mind. I felt free in a way, and more alone than ever. Decided to turn on facebook again. One picture of her smiling. Soul crushed. I hate this shit. I'm pretty damn alpha in all other regards of life, I just think too much, my imagination is so strong it hurts. Dreams are much more "real" than reality. Alcoholism does not help. I could go on for pages ranting, but I'll leave this here for now.
I've been replaced by everyone, so I'm deciding to kill myself. See you guys starside.
>>712089993
What If's may be so much more crushing that What Is. Everything works for a reason I think. Karmic lessons.
>>712090401
pce
if you dont mind could you stream it
>>712089896
the yea first one
The villian from Lazy Town has been diagnosed with with pancreatic cancer. So many memories and feels as a kid.
There's a gofundme, you can find it online if you search "Stefan Karl gofundme"
>>712090640
Ah. Woulda been interesting if she was an Egoist Anarchist.
>>712090194
Just try to not think of her. But, I wouldn't cut contact 100% just incase shit goes bad with her, as she still probably trusts you, and would turn to you if she needs some one.
Any idea about my girl?
>>712090494
I have made peace with it for the most part. I just got back from spending some days with the two of them where it was just the three of us most of the time.
Every time I see her it takes me some time to recover, this time was no different. The only option is to be mature about this.
And yeah, it may very well be a karmic lesson. I've gotten what I wanted with women for most of my life; I might just be a big spoiled baby. Thanks for the reply.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NyMGQd6BlE
A single tear from the elms of emptiness falls to stain the cracked earth and the soil breathes one final, desperate, breathe of life. Tiny budding flowers and colours of joy and hope explode from the water-bead. Undying, undimming, before shattering to dust. These woods have no memory of the touch of sun, or the smell of dew, and all I can hear through the deafening silence are the moaning trees.
It was Morrow who cursed this place. Now, cheerless and stagnant, it screams in the night so we hearken the cries from the heart of the wood.
I linger on in doubt, darkness comes early down here. Wishing upon ages, these flowers will someday bloom.
I'd wait here forever just to see these flowers bloom.
They never bloom.
>>712081811
> 5cm per second
It's an anime but it's worth a watch whether you like anime or not
>>712091073
For the better or worse, we're not teens anymore that can brood in thier rooms about shit like this, Cheers to you anon for being mature about it. We still have to go to work every day and get out of bed and make a living. It's a lot harder in a way to own your own pain, for you have to swallow it in the face of realities trivialities. I know the pain does not change, but we can change how we react to it. That's really all we can change in this life. I can relate.
I'm even ignored in a feels thread
Feelsbadman
>>712090401
See you later bro
>>712090238
>tfw no one will help this anon
>>712091836
I got your back homie what's good?
>>712091836
I'm not ignoring you bro!
>>712090238
With all due respect, I'd kill you for a price.
>>712092016
How much are we talking, friend? I haven't touched a kid nor looked at CP. But I cannot help but to feel sexual attraction to them. What do I need to do to help you, help me end my self-loathing disgusting self?
>>712091734
Replied. You get it. Cheers.
Some of my ramen noodles are undercooked and I'm really pissed and depressed about it.
I have bpd and ptsd. I've been misdiagnosed as schizoaffective and DID due to severity of psychosis and dissociative symptoms. Tell me I'm making it up, I couldn't care less.
nearly 2 yrs
she told me i was the one
she said we had a bright future
i had to move away
shes seeing someone else
"i love you but im not in love with you"
shes seeing someone else now
>>712092580
They're also dry, I have no drink, and I had to mix two different flavors because I only had one of each flavor.
>>712092016
>>712092276
Please respond. ;_; I would love for this to happen. Just make it quick and easy for me, please? I will pay with whatever I have.
>>712078736
my chest hurts because of the feels
This feels appropriate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6uGIZkcb7Y
washing windows with angelina
i don't understand anything
violent angles from side to side
how'd you get so tangled up in my life?
how'd you get so caught?
how'd you get so tangled up?
i love you like it's the old days
when i could ask you anything
how'd you get so tangled up in my thinkin?
how'd you get so caught?
how'd you get so tangled up?
>>712092601
PROBABLY NOT MAKING IT UP. BUT YOU'RE PROBABLY A WEE BIT SCREWED IN THE HEAD.
my dump is done
My girlfriend of 5 years passed away a few weeks ago. I had a note/letter from her taped to my pc monitor, written in blue ink and with a cat drawn on it. I just noticed that the fucking cleaning piece of shit lady threw it away. God damn it.
>I am feeling terrible now.
>Why the fuck did I leave it in my monitor?
>Fuck this.
wahhhhhhhhhwahhhhhhawhhhhhhhhhhhh im sayaaaaaahd. My iddy bitty wittal hawrt hewrts so bayaddddd
>>712094309
you have a cleaning lady? what are you fucking rich or something?
>>712089170
Bad things are gonna happen no matter what you do. I find that is stupid to worry before they happen. Don't feel bad before things happen, you will have plenty of time after that to feel shitty.
>>712094469
I'm not poor. That being said, in this country you can have a cleaning lady for a lot less than in, say, Canada or England.
>Keep in mind they are not always competent.
>You probably noticed already.
>>712095334
>Smiling on the outside, easier than having to deal with the sadness inside.
>Not telling friends about problems, They dont need my shit weighing them down.
>Dont need a therapist to tell me my life sucks
>dont want a therapist to make me look like i need help.
>2 years and 5 months in
>Its getting tiring
>im getting tired
>Real fucking tired
>Fake smile starts slipping, staring into space a lot more
>People asking questions
>constant attention from people who dont know me, making sure i dont do anything stupid.
>fake smile gone now
>friends holding my pain with me
>can see they find it a burden
>"Im really ok, just tired"
>True to an extent
>Pretend the roof hook is to hold punching bag
>The rope under my bed says otherwise
>Still got people in my life i need to tie ends with before making any jumps.
>They will hurt less if i end relationships with them
>No GF to feel sorry for me when im gone
>"Anon, you can talk to me whenever you want" As if those words make me feel any better
The noose is pre-tied in case i need to make it quick
Im real tired /b/
I lost my dog today, /b/. I had her for two months.
At first, it wasn't even me who noticed her, it was my girlfriend. We walked out of my grandmother's house on the way to get something to eat, and she saw her standing at the edge of my driveway, licking the ground for ants to eat. I wasn't going to leave her there. I couldnt. I walked over, and as she tried to run away she fell, too weak to even stand again. I picked her up and took her to my backyard, and soon my girlfriend came back with food for the three of us.
At first, my grandmother was angry. She thought I had bought a dog without her permission, I had wanted one for a while. I explained to her how I found her, and she told me it was my responsibility. I bought her a bed, I bought her some toys, and I made her a place to sleep on my backporch. Sometimes I'd watch her through the glass, just to make sure she was still there.
At first, she was scared. She wouldn't come near me, despite all my efforts. I could tell she had been abused, or at least had been alone, for a long time. Like me. I decided to use a treat to coax her towards me for the first time, and when she came she laid in my lap. I slept on the porch that night, with neither of us ever moving. Eventually, she was wagging her tail again, and even though she was still apprehensive around everyone else, around me she was happy. I was happy.
1/2
>>712095816
Anon pls i want this to end happily.
Anon dont make me feel.
Anyone want to hear my story?
>>712096559
Is it a good story?
grotesque fuck with no chance of redemption or escape. that's it.
>>712096747
Sad story
>>712096981
post it
The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because everyday I wake up and I hope that today is the day I'll understand how to be happy, but I'm tired of pretending that will happen.
>>712097481
how have you attempted to change your life anon?
>>712097722
I've tried to find my purpose in things I think could be beneficial for me, like studies and religion, because a nihilistic view of life without meaning terrifies me.
>>712097149
>Be me
>luckily have been blessed with good memory, respectful behavior, good humor, and likeable personality
>but im ugly and seem to drive girls away
>first year of high school, I took carpentry and luthiering classes because I love working with my hands.
>got my first job over the summer
>second year of high school, still no girlfriend, but i was doing great in classes. Then my mom had a stroke and to help pay the bills, I gave all my money I had saved over the summer, I cried.
>third year, my mom dies of another stroke and my dad doesn't talk anymore because he is too depressed. I don't remember much that year, it was just a blur I was too sad, all I remember was that I got my certification for carpentry and began working for a welding company.
>during the summer, I had the most fun I ever had though, there was a girl I really liked, and when I asked her out, she just said no and I knew she was disgusted at the thought, made me felt so sad
>fourth year still no girlfriend, I got a full scholarship to a good university, but I got sad. Once I told my favorite teachers everything I was sad about. I said "why don't girls like me? I am smart, talented, and have a good future" and all that shit.
>he now understood, and he gave me a big speech about how I don't need a girl and ended it with "you're a good kid anon, never change"
Right now, I'm making 120k a year, still no gf, dad hasn't come out of his she'll yet, and I just spend my free time playing video games or working on building guitars.
>>712098318
Are you willing to discipline yourself?
Are you willing to make radical changes to your life?
>>712098508
I'm too weak for that. Too afraid of change. Being depressed is the only thing I'm good at.
>>712090589
this
>>712098333
What is your weight?
If you're a bigger guy, perhaps try taking your free time to becoming healthier and channel it into walking and such.
How do you dress? Do you stand out in a good way?
Hit /fa/ for advice on fashion and hairstyles if you would like or look at some of your favorite actors clothing choices.
Social life?
Do you have friends? Why not go out and make some. (Easier said than done.)
Guitar,
Can you play it? If you can play it, why not go to little pubs and such and just play your guitar. let your guitar speak your feelings and perhaps maybe you can make friends through that.
Video Games?
Try going to comic shops and looking for gaming tournaments. Present yourself friendly, don't go in being too big of an asshole/autistic.
Anon, it's not too late. I think you could do it. Try every day.
bump
I should never have left /h/
I was so close /b/. I had fallen in love for real for the first time. She was smart, amazing, and beautiful. She was my second half. And of course, the only reason I couldn't pull it off was my fucking looks. All because in a big guy, not even that bad, but my weight and size in general holds me back. She said its cause she didn't want to lose our friendship, but I know that's not why. I still love her to, and it hurts me to know that I ruined the only chance I had at being happy. Now to rub salt in the wound, my friend is going for her, and he is going to get her no doubt. I feel like shit. I'm not mad at them, they made a choice and they're going to be happy, I'm mad at myself for fucking things up. I can never get anything right. The only time I feel happy or important is when I'm playing music. We have one big group of friends, and they mean the world to me, but all of them know I was rejected, and they know she is going to get with my friend. I won't even have the luxury of dealing with it in peace. I just want things to be simple /b/. The worst part is I still love her so much, and as much as I really like the dude who is going for as a friend, I know for a fact he is going to just leave her in the dust, crying while he moves onto his next victim. I fucked up. My golden fucking ticket, and it's fucking gone. I don't see the point in going on looking for love. She is my first, and as much as people say, your first love will feel like your last, I have a feeling this will be my last. I've never been able to connect with anyone, let alone a girl as perfect as she is, and when I was given the chance I blew it. Why am I such a fuck up man.......
>>712073100
well ill give the short version of my story
i dated a girl since sixth grade, went into 9th grade when she conceived, became a father in 10th grade. Daughter we named her Isabella. Her parents moved not long after she was born, despite her wanting to be there for isabella. i was left with a daughter who i didnt know how to care for. Braiding hair is apparently really difficult anyway. i am now a 19 year old single father whose parents left me after age 18. i might greentext my story if you guys want it.
>>712074553
COURAGE WOLF
>>712102203
oh god
I guess I shall begin my catharsis here on /b.
33 year old obese latino douche who decided to go back to college because selling phones is bullshit. Going back to college makes me face my failure of not graduating. It isn't easy and honestly my ego can't handle it. So I suppress it just like everything else.
Since I am fat dating game in NYC is non-existent unless I want to deal with a ho with 2 kids. So I dont. In an almost cruel twist of fate everyone I have dated moves on to better things with loved ones and kids. I am the eater of bad luck.
Broke and my family tells me to good luck, yes I live at home so I honestly have little to complain about here. But I am jealous of well structure families who are able to help each other.
I hate everything about me. I cannot find one good thing to comment on. Why? Low-self esteem? Maybe. I hold on to my past mistakes so deeply that I can't go forward. A fancy trick I learned from my mother. I wouldn't be able to handle it.
I have done a lot of theatre so I am a pretty decent actor after years of experience. My acting has gotten so good I don't recognize myself. Who am I? I couldn't tell you. I have spent so much time faking just about every single human interaction I don't know which is real. The only thing that seems real is apathy.
Though it is quite the juxtaposition. I am generally apathetic and yet I have hope of finishing college. It is the worst part really. To have hope. Hope... hope breaks minds, it breaks hearts, it breaks souls. Once you fail with that hope nothing hurts more.
I am also the lightening rod of shit for my family and everyone. They just throw their shit at me and just expect me to handle it. It makes me want to hurt them really. I am tired of the complaining and yet I have to accept it and smile.
Do I believe I will be loved? Of course not. I mean my family doesnt even love me. I dont love me. Why should anyone love me? Another question I cannot answer.
I expect flames so have a blast.
>>712095671
I don't have friends anymore. Consider yourself lucky anon.
Already bought my helium tank from amazon, kek. should get here new week. probably gonna wait till after thanksgiving to kill myself. look up exit bag.
>>712102850
This story may help you, i hope it does at least.
well ill tell my story, i was a crab fisher from the age of 27-34 so ill tell the story of my best friend max. ill follow suit with adonis and will be calling myself Glaucus the fishermans sea god during my story. cont.
>>712102931
>be me 5
>moved around 700 miles to a rural northern town
>kindergarten
>get sat next to a kid named Max
>instantly clicked as friends
>liked the same cartoons, played the same classic vidya
>feelsgoodman
>we got older and were always close friends
>we grew up together and went to different colleges
> straight out of college i went back to my home town
>Max dropped out after his mother was diagnosed with Sarcoma
>Stayed with her for 2 years until she passed away.
>the day after she lost her battle
>we sat on the couch watching football and getting drunk
>the man i saw sitting next to me was much different from the one i grew up with
>he was utterly defeated
>he couldn't cry
>he was in shock of what happened to his mother
> he sat there staring at the TV
>just drinking
>he asked me something which i wont forget
> "Glaucus what do i do now? Im broke, shes gone, and i don't have a degree."
> i responded in the one way i could "I dont know"
>we sat there silently for a few hours.
>we clung to each play, the only thing keeping us sane.
>in the morning, he said he said " I need to get away from here"
>the house was on the market for a little over a month
>max had moved to a port town hundreds of miles away
>one day i got a call from him
>asks me to come down to where he is
>so knowing what hes been through, i took leave from my office and flew to max the next day.
>at this point i was an attorney had taken on a couple of cases.
>when i arrived i was met with a man who was different
>he had been going to the gym, but lived in a disheveled house
>he told me he had been contracted as a crab fisher, and was asked to supply crabs.
>max invited me and the company got a few other people.
>long story short i knew i had to be there for my friend so i did what i thought was right
>i quit my job as an attorney and joined Max in his fishing.
cont
>>712102964
>after joining him life was pretty simple
>for around 7 years
>i got up
>Went to the pier
>fished
>Went home and got piss drunk
>throughout this time Max always seemed distant
>since we lived in the same house i discovered his "secret"
>he was taking one prescription antidepressant and four illegally obtained ones
>he never did get better but i always stayed with him
>one particular day there was a hurricane a few hundred miles over
>We thought it was just a tropical storm
>something we had dealt with before
>no cause for alarm or drama
>so Max, the crew, and I. went to the pier and headed towards open waters.
>We casted our nets and waited
>we sat there in the turbulent waters for a few hours
>this was until the storm hit
>the waves became immensely larger
>and the sky rained ferociously
>we drew our nets in and put the crabs away as we got ready to head back to port
>a particularly big wave knocked us sideways and almost capsized us. we were all almost okay.
>Except for one the companies fisherman, a man named Eddy.
>Eddy was the most reliable person on our crew
>he was there whenever you needed him, he was a jack of all trades in a sense, nicest and perhaps most caring man i met.
>eddy had been rocked to the side of the boat and hit his head, he was knocked out
>once we got our bearings back, we rushed eddy to the ships interior, and began trying to head for port
>not long after a second wave hit.
>This wave capsized us
>Our ship sunk before me
>i rushed under the ship to grab Eddy
>the ship was too far gone to grab him
>Eddy drowned when he was knocked out.
>however i never saw max
>he had simply vanished
>max was gone
>my thoughts all raced to him dying
>when i reached shore, everyone aside from eddy was there
>we got treated for minor injuries and went to Eddies funeral.
>this broke the camels back
>My friend max snapped
>He became a depressed and true alcoholic
>he blamed himself for eddy's death
>he had gone over the deep end
cont
>>712098901
I weigh 160 and I'm 5'8
I dress normally, suit and tie for work, and jeans and the shirt at home
I already work out, I play soccer every weekend
All my friends are busy with their lives now; wives, kids, moved away.
I play guitar, piano, and drums well
I don't like comic books, I love playing strategy games like total war and EU4
>>712103004
>Max went off the grid, and i went back to being an attorney
>he showed up where i worked piss drunk one day
>he told and yelled at me "Eddy is gone because of me, i could have saved him, why didn't i?
>i stayed with him for the next few months, one day Max decided he had enough.
>On June 9th Max committed Suicide
>he left two notes one for me, and one for everyone else
>the note to everyone read
"Im guilty, i wasnt even able to save one of my closest friends. So why i should i be allowed to live knowing he didn’t. I hate this world."
>The note he left me was as follows
"Thank you Glaucus, you were my first and last friend. i am sorry i had to leave so soon, but my memories with you were the only happy ones i have. Glaucus until we meet again -Max"
I know i could have saved Max but i wasn't able to, im sorry my friend.
However, i may be able to save you anon, I never want anyone to go through what i went though again. Don't kill yourself, because it may be meaningless to you but you are worth a hell of a lot to me. don't go anon.
>>712102850
>>712082427
My nigger. Mgla is the shit
>>712090401
Godspeed.
>>712090401
good night anon
>>712073100
>be in high school
>meet girl of omegle because it was the shit when you're barely a 16 year old and because nudes lol
>too much of a pussy to use vid cam so use text
>talk to girl from one of the Carolinas, a year older than me
>get her Kik
>after talking to her, realize I don't care about nudes, even tho she was hot, we become really good friends, talk about everything
>start to think I'm falling in love with her, even though I live in New York
>I knew it'd never happen so I still keep my options open
>eventually get my first girlfriend and start to "love" her too, first time someone's felt anything for me
>tell my friend about my new girlfriend, she's happy for me
>I tell my girlfriend about my friend, she's the opposite
>makes me choose, I'm absolutely torn
>being my naive self, I choose my girlfriend
>she takes it terrible, blocks me, even tho i said I was sorry dozens of times
>the most heartbroken I've ever been, haven't talked to her in years
>be today, on Instagram
>see "recommended" profiles, I see a familiar face
>Sabrina was her name
>Carolina
>"no fucking way"
>I sent her a request to follow her (her accounts private)
I can only hope she accepts it so I can see if it's really her /b/, I have to know
>>712103346
In all honesty, I have nothing left to look forward too. nothing you say or do will change that. Im sorry for your loss. but this is how its going to be.
>>712073100
>that pic
Its indeed you
>>712104134
im sorry i failed you too.
>>712103941
Update if anyone gives a shit
She accepted my request, followed me back, and liked my two most recent pictures
I sent her a message but hasn't it been opened yet
What does this mean /b/
bump
>>712093970
I guess you got me there?
>>712082853
Ay m8t the pigeon man
>>712104791
seems promising
best of luck
Bring out my feels...reminds me of my suicide attempt.. https://youtu.be/axrfQ2Zrsc8
>>712081811
I am Legend
>>712101675
Duuude exactly my case i feel you
>>712085519
Use all that negativity as an outlet for positivity anon
>>712106473
It's not even that she rejected me. I will still always care about her. It's that I know he's going to use her and hurt her, and she doesn't deserve that at all.
Clinically depressed anon here. I don't have a bad life by most people's standards. I have good friends, a good number of girls that would probably go out with me if I asked them, and I do pretty well in uni. My problem is that my default mood is sad, and if something isn't actively making it better, it just gets worse. It's hard for me to advocate for myself and try to make things better, because I never feel like doing anything. I've gotten really close to offing myself, and I've never felt worse than I have recently. So, this is kind of like a goodbye in advance from an anon who'll die young. See you space cowboy.
>wanted to be well liked in school
>became the kid everyone thought was a rapist
>somehow everyone still called me a virgin
>made fun of me for not having a girlfriend (I did have one, for a short period)
>made fun of my friends for liking me
>got called a creep to my face more than I got called a nice person
The best part was that no matter how much I wanted to hate them back, I didn't. I always treated them with kindness and respect, and kept all the evil thoughts in my head. Fuck one time I even baked everyone in the only club I joined a bunch of cookies for no reason.
i hate my life so much im depressed and it ruins everything in my life i have no friends im so lonely all i do is sleep and do something on my computer, im barely motivated to leave the house or go to college. i hate it all so much idk why i am like this i have such low self esteem i always put myself down i think im not good looking people tell me i am but i cant believe them i want to but even if i was im so socially awkward that i coulnt even use it to pick up girls or anything. ive tried everything to feel better ive partied and i hate it drugs only make me feel worse the only thing that made me feel better were percocets. the gym doesnt do a thing for me at first it helped but now it doesnt i have no escape from this anymore i have just accepted that this is what life is going to be like for me now. maybe one day itll get better maybe
>>712101675
same situation bro it sucks. hell i dont even fully understand mine bc we both still love eachother and want to be together but cant be and fuck does it suck
>>712105630
I love modern baseball so much
