I am the devil. Ask me anything.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
I am the devil. Ask me anything.
What is my name?
Whats your opinion about the US election?
homo demens
As he is a demon i am proud of him. he can leech the energy up from your attention.
why are there not more mentions of you in human writings and can you be in physical form
>>711964641
Im coming for you. I want your power, and you're going to give it to me.
>>711964795
Faggot
>>711964641
A demon pulled me out of my bed a few weeks ago and it freaked me the fuck out, why did it happen?
i am in a lot of humans out there ... you see them on tv.
>>711965127
holy fuck, what are the chances.
>>711965232
did you liked it ?
>>711965127
i let him suffer for this reply.
>>711965336
No what the fuck?
>>711965417
i was once called from some kids in germany as they do some ouija. told them one guy is the devil. and scared the cat of the girl with his body.
who got the balls to ask for his date of death?
>>711965611
You're sick
>>711965955
The date of your death is in exactly 3 months. it will be quick and without pain. enjoy your last days. benhasa tuniralous human imense tieru hanen
>>711964641
Is eternity in paradise worth it?
>>711966527
you are not worth any paradise. your energy will remain for eternity
>>711964641
You really got a job working with a lady detective in the LAPD?
How's 8th grade going for you?
>>711964641
Dormammu! I've come to bargain
>>711966725
you are dying in 3 days painful and in front of a schoolclass. sekasioum dratiur gratne bum humanus emeanisu
>>711966293
Thank god, I hate being a NEET.
>>711966839
funny illustration from me
Can I have extremely gay relations tonight? Is there benefit
>>711967150
do whatever you admire. worthless human body
>>711967221
What if the sex is done in an attempt to create a demonic offspring of two men
>>711964641
How do I become a Satanist? Like, how do I start?
>>711967346
Join the fourth grade
>>711967483
I'm out of grade school, anon.
>>711967346
do something that gives you great attention. it can be good or evil. just summon me with some ouija and ask for me. if your actions are great we can leech power from many humans together.
>>711967326
Please dark one, this is vital to your victory over the lake of fire
>>711967326
you are welcome
Are there smaller wishes i can make that won't cost me my soul?
>>711964641
Nice deal with Conor McGregor dude
no one takes the risk of really asking for his date of death i am surprised as i saw that many humans right now visiting that website are thinking of death!
>>711967833
thank you. i like him. but his kicks are weak
>>711964641
Was that you in the laundry room yesterday you faggot?
Dear Satan,
What is the best genre of metal?
>if it isn't grindcore you're not the devil, false prophet
>>711968079
i am anywhere you call for my energy. as you think of me i am already directly in your room
Did u ever take Cage back to hell to fill with him ur hot demon gel?
>>711968189
i am just using music for getting more power. there is no music masterrace
>>711968232
Well thanks for the help with the laundry you dickhead.
>>711968274
there is no hell. it was a creation of the christians to scare people.
>>711964641
>benhasa tuniralous human imense tieru hanen
what does that mean ?
How do I make a deal with you
>>711968435
your mother is sick. i can feel it. see her death in a few days. brinosiu palatis krezus humanus belati
>>711968344
HOLY FUCK ITS THE REALL DEVIL
DUBS COMFIRMS ITS SATAN
>>711964641
Can you bless me with 100 paypal to finish getting my mixtape mixed
https://m.soundcloud.com/ronniescholarship/kill-or-be-killed-mixed-by
>>711968442
it describes his death and i wish to take his energy after his death.
>>711964641
When are you taking me home, daddy?
>>711968613
You are waiting for the 666 arent you ?
>>711968557
I have replied to multiple "Your mother will die threads", she can't die. Nice try.
>>711968715
there is no home. i can consume you
>>711968827
human humour ...
>>711968855
Holy shit. Dubs don't lie. Consume me, father. I live to serve only you.
>>711968923
your wish is my demand
>>711964641
What's the deciding factor on whether or not you "may care"?
>>711964641
Is Hillary Clinton a Satanist?
>>711968902
I am a child of God, serpent. Your words have no power over me.
When will I die, Devil?
>>711969193
as you know the whole universe exists because there is energy. you and all things on earth are just energy. as you are thinking of me you are giving me great power. you try to explain it with your science... quantum physics
>>711964641
Sup Satan, help me with this heist i'm going to pull off, soon. I wil offer you some blood from some hobo.
>>711969391
29.07.2038.
>>711964641
If you are REALLY the Devil, then you know pretty much everything, so what's my name? Convince me you're really the Devil.
>>711964641
Why did you fail?
>>711969545
Everything has a true name that name is the only one that matters, your true name is faggot. That is all you'll ever be.
I am the real devil.
>>711969211
Not OP but I can answer that.
They worship Baal, a demon they believe is a representative of American excess and corruption.
But these are just self-redemptive self hypnosis angles that allow them to permit more and more privilege to themselves, ala a serial killer, until they are allowing themselves and their corporate friends to rape hookers and kill kids. Then they fuck each other and make out.
It's all a creation of the college retards that descended from Carnegie and what have you that then infected Yale and Harvard, then the working class in the form of the Masons.
>>711969661
so close
>>711969470
have fun. does not give me any power. if you would make a video from it and then publish it. there will be many people giving you attention! that would give me huge power... mhhhhh serpentius balusio mangus poulismaaaaa
>>711969661
Do you love me?
>>711964641
pitcher or catcher?
>>711969661
no you are not.
>>711969827
human humour
>>711965272
kek
>>711969699
BASICALLY
Americans allowed and aided disgusting gypsy retards and their business kings to take the wheel in this nation.
>It's like you can't make this shit up.
>>711969767
yes
>>711969645
LOL!!! You made me laugh. Thank you Satan.
>>711964641
Are you please to meet me? Should I guess your name?
>>711969900
>Check my dubs dubs of truth.
>>711969211
No but she tried to take the path of a demon
>>711969699
I don't want to live in this world anymore
>>711969645
>>711969963
You must be the real Devil because I secretly fantasize about sucking cocks pretty much on a daily basis so you kinda nailed it. Well played, Satan.
>>711969981
You got many names for me human.
When I will die?
>>711969915
./////.
I love you too my lord
>>711970148
do not even try to ...
>>711964641
Why are you here on /b/. Hillary Clinton? Shouldn't you be back in Hell? The election is over, you lost. hahahaha!
>>711970148
When your bodily functions cease. Why is it that you're too retarded to understand this.
>>711970097
The fact is that this is one of the nicest empires to ever exist.
Back in the dark ages kings just gathered a bunch of women and made them marry him.
And tons of rape of all kinds all throughout history.
>>711964641
How I will die?
>>711970314
there is no hell as i said. you book reading stupid human. go on and suck the cock of the jesus statue in your local church.
Im satan
>>711970430
you already new it. s.
>>711964641
give me material wealth cocksucker
>>711970577
lil wayne eats littel fetus for this.
>>711970526
Thanks Shelly. Try to put more effort in your work, you cunt
>>711970440
In nomine patris et filii et spiritus sancti!! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU, SERPENT!! Back to the depths of Hell with you. There is a Hell, and it's where you belong because you fell all those many years ago, snake!
>>711970785
you have no power here.
If, keyword if I sell my soul to you will you grant me two wishes. You can claim my soul when I turn 89. First wish would be to be the sole winner of the powerball lottery this saturday. Second would be to get the girl I've wanted in my life to be with me in perfect health until I turn 89. After that you can have her too. Would you say yes to those stipulations?
>>711970959
You such a motherfucker, well played
How does it feel being the president of the United States?
>>711964641
I need to have a chat with you! I have too many questions!
>>711970959
no. powerball is an extra tax for stupid humans. you can make her a slave if you want to and make it a real big tv hit because of the slavery she has to go through.
>>711971074
Is that a yes? If so I'm considering agreeing and saying yes
>>711971082
its just a normal demon. as every other person on tv
>>711971326
this is not my answer. but go on and pay the tax.
>>711971289
Extra tax? it's why I said you could have her soul too once I turn 89 and she is still in perfect health
>>711964641
mr satan, can u send us this semen demon pls
>>711964641
What's hell REALLY like?
>>711971650
you do not read my posts in here.
>>711971658
>>711971670
there is no hell. christian. you watched too many movies
>>711964641
Why do people consider you evil when you serve the purpose of punishing those who are sinners?
Is this woman one of your demons?
>>711971658
funny lookin human. but she collected many power for me just with her retarded body
>>711971797
Mind if we meet sometime and pound a few beers?
>>711964641
>>711964641
When am I going to die? I almost got into 3 accidents today.
>>711971862
/thread
>>711964641
How's middle school?
>>711971862
you are thinking of these bible jesus things too much. there is no god. and there are no sins
>>711964641
I'm a satanist, not theistic satanism tho. can you explain to these imbeciles how actual fucking satanism works?
>>711972050
just love me.
>>711971971
human humour.
Would you make a deal with me to give me superhuman speed in exchange for my pledge to harvest the souls of the sinners for you?
Please bless me with your seed, lord Satan!
Who comes first? You or Jesus?
>>711971926
you are arriving soon.
>>711964641
Satan! I've come to bargain!
>>711972303
jesus was a normal human being like your trump or hillary. he was a good talker like hitler
>>711964641
How does it feel to be blamed for the idiocy of humanity?
>>711972303
there is no first
tell us something we might not know
>>711964641
Why is the doom guy in your pentagram?
>>711967346
Sign up at wearesatanists.com
>>711972518
you are all controlled by a few people. religion and politics are just made to control you.
>>711972637
no derr. try again.
>>711972576
i just choose a picture from google as you humans think this is a symbol for me.
>>711964641
Should I eat at MC donald's or Burger King?
>>711972774
try again... try to live normal. i am right with you. i will chase you. and i will make fun as your life is falling apart.
>>711964641
Why did you create the negro race?
i am bored of you human. i will leave now. i will destroy some devices you used to write here. as a statement of my existence. love me. think of me. i am anywhere. i am with you. i chase your dreams. i leech your energy. i am your god. tamasu boldinartur busitganh welouts bin muroul hasatou
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4xiT67GrbY
Question, Oh Dark Lord...
Why does the devil write like an illiterate 3rd grader shitskin from somewhere way South of the border
>>711964641
Did it hurt?
>>711971997
I was just humoring OP. Not really a fan of Jebus and all of that bogus.
>>711964641
Is Your Pretty Face Going is Going To Hell an accurate representation of hell?
>>711964641
What do you think of my youtube channel?
>>711964641
Please, help me.
>>711964641
i sent out a spell a few days ago. will it come to fruition?
>>711966630
Checked
>>711964641
You ain't the devil and that Pentagram is from Doom 3
>satan
>on /b/
cant say im surprised
What does a man have to do to impress a devil before he arrives in Hell? Psychopaths, sociopaths, they're only small minded villains.
>>711975339
genius! he already told us he got it from google
